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My GIRL
:iconbrandon-montrone:
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mod. Aga :heart:

If you like my photos, please click 'like it' on my page on facebook www.facebook.com/ula.nosek.pho… I'll be really appreciate! :heart:


FACEBOOK FANPAGE | BLOGSPOT | TUMBLR

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I have loved to the point of madness;
that which is called madness,
that which to me, is the only sensible way to love.

- Francoise Sagan



--
featured :heart:
News: Black and White Contest Feature by =MissEmeraldEyes


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website | tumblr | redbubble | facebook | unrestricted stock
all gallery content © sophia a zhou with respective attributions as proper.

This image is not granted to the public domain, and is protected under the Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.
Licenses for commercial and derivative use of this image may be available for purchase. Please contact me if interested.
Under the Creative Commons license, this piece may be displayed on other websites as long as:
- Credit is given to Sophia A Zhou, in writing
- A link is provided linking back to the original piece
- All other conditions under the Creative Commons License are met
Any use of this piece other than as authorized under this Creative Commons License or Copyright Law is prohibited.
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CLICK TO FULL VIEW!! ...[link]
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... click to FULL VIEW ! [link]
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Featured
:iconbrandon-montrone:
Collection by
20 starbrushes for you to use.
Works for CS and later. Planets and landscape/sun aren't included.

Please +fav if you download, it makes my work feel worthwhile. It's just a single click. :) Thanks!

You do NOT have to ask for permission to use this. No, not even for prints. Go ahead, that's why they are here! ;)
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My OC... my fox-accident ;)
Music: Awolnation – Kill Your Heroes
Tumblr: WIP and Sketches
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Having some more fun on the train with my lovely new Noir Character from Godin. I had a couple days where nothing fit right and all the poses looked really bad, but today something just snapped and worked, so here it is.

Enjoy.

Production Credits:
Rendered in Poser 7
Post work in Photoshop CS5
Godin - Noir
JTrout - 50's Tight Shapers
AprilYSH - Marisandra Hair
idler168 - Pumps
tabala - Retro Pinups Poses
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Mature Content Filter is On
(Contains: nudity)
Featured
:iconannaut:
Collection by
-| All Rights Reserved |-

'Want to see more? .. -watch me (:
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Sölden/Austria
Made by my brother. :)
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-| All Rights Reserved |-

'Want to see more? .. -watch me (:
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Amazing Photographs
:iconoilux:
Collection by
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model: Tosha Vishneva (myself)
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:pointr: About this photograph: :pointl:
~ Closeup:

Deep Blue Eyes by Oniendra

:pointr: Sharing is Caring: :pointl:
~ Please respect my work and my two simple rules when sharing this image. You can share this photograph where-ever you like, but I do ask that you do not alter my image without my permission, and that you link back to me because the picture doesn't have a watermark; in this case that means linking to my deviantART- account. Then you're a sweetheart. :D
Of course you can use this for reference.


:facebook: You can find me on Facebook. :happybounce:
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Location: Aarhus, Denmark, 2014
Name: Flipper | Age: 5 weeks old

Equipment

Canon EOS 550D | Canon EF 70-200mm f/2.8L IS II USM
Post-processing in Adobe Photoshop CS3
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“When pain brings you down, don't be silly, don't close your eyes and cry, you just might be in the best position to see the sun shine.”

Alanis Morissette
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Seagull from Tama Solińska (Poland - Bieszczady)
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Featured
:iconzcritchell:
Collection by
Mature Content Filter is On. The Artist has chosen to restrict viewing to deviants 18 and older.
(Contains: nudity, sexual themes, violence/gore and ideologically sensitive material)
Lineart by 
:iconeverdream-adopts:


Ocs By
:iconsabrina14151: And irl Fiance

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Hi I'm Blue, and I struggle with mental illness.

Some of you will dismiss me, some of you will be scared of me, some of you will blame me, but a surprising amount of you will understand me, because 1 in 4 people experience mental health issues. Considering so many people experience it, we hear so little about it; it's the family secret you can't tell anyone, the fake smile so know one knows, the calling in sick but blaming food poisoning. It's hard for me to write about, but I write this hoping it makes it easier for the next person to speak about it.

I am going to tell you my story, of my path with mental illness. I don't know if it has a happy ending yet...

It began with a tough situation at home, which triggered the anxiety. It's hard to explain the exact feeling. It's kind of like where you're leaning back on your chair, and go that bit too far and you just about to fall back. That sudden jolt of panic inside your chest, that half second  spike that makes you fling your hands forward and grab the desk infront of you to steady yourself. That 'oh shit' moment. It's that. Only it didn't last for half a second, for even a minute, it lasted years. I thought I'd just have to live with it until the situations improved, but even when it did anxiety still clung to me like a scarf of live electricity. That feeling could come when I was alone in a room, sitting comfortably, with nothing to do and a clear day ahead. The world would spin and tumble, and I'd want to put my hands out to grab the desk and steady myself, but there was nothing there. Nothing to grab onto. Over and over.

And so, through anxiety's hot trickery depressions cold crept in, it sat at the back of my mind and laughed at me. "Why are you even trying? It's useless anyway" and when you're fighting a non-existent force from a chair you're not even really sitting on it's hard to argue with that. And this feeling spread.

It wasn't that I couldn't feel happy, and it wasn't total sadness per-se, I did feel sad, but the harshness of depression is that it makes the process of living excruciating. It's like walking through thick treacle, every movement pushed against and held back by sticky tar. Suffocating and exhausting. Even when there's no energy left you still have to walk. This same tar is in your brain, slowing your thoughts, numbing your feelings, even when there's no energy left, you can never stop thinking. Then everything feels overwhelming. Even the small things, one task in particular for me, washing my clothes, was a mountain, even to think about it required so much energy, I could wash my clothes, but then I'd have to pick up the dirty clothes, taken them to the washer, open the washer, put the clothes in the washer, close the door, open the detergent bottle, put the detergent in. It was just too much. So the clothes sat there. And you know it's absurd, everyone else can do it no trouble, so, I thought, maybe I'm just lazy, I should push on, I'm a strong person, so I pushed. Now you can push yourself do enough to look like your functioning normally, but it doesn't get rid of the tar, the sticky molasses in your veins, on the outside I was normal enough, inside I was decaying. My mind was ablaze trying to grab a desk and my soul was swallowed in the bitter treacle. The worst thing, was that I never felt at peace, however still I sat, however beautiful the morning, however hard it was searched for, no peace arrived. It was torture, and my own mind was the torturer.

I didn't -want- to kill myself, that's messy, and probably involved going out of the house, a body, sad friends. I just wanted to be dead. My brain fantasized about it. That sweet release of deep restful unexistence, it seemed so much better than existing like this. If only, I thought, there weren't people who loved me. It's a sick twisted logic you don't have control over; to you it all makes sense. I didn't even know I was depressed, I thought what I was feeling was justified, life -was- meaningless, I -would- be better off dead. It had been a slow decline into darkness, the light wasn't just switched off, I had no 'oh shit it's dark' moment, I didn't even realise I couldn't see properly, my eyes had adjusted to the dark as the light faded, my mind replacing reality with it's own twisted night vision, of strange shadows and dark half logic.

Yeah, I won't go out today, no I don't need to do my essay yet, it can wait, they probably don't want to hang around with me anyway, It's not worth it, I'm not worth it, I'm worthless.

So I hurt myself. Mostly to feel better, or to feel something, I'm not sure, but it proved a point. When I saw what I had done to my own skin, I had a thought: "This is what sick people do" The thought turned over a few times in my head and twisted into a lump in my throat "Am -I- sick?" That was the first time I really realised. Despite crippling depression, despite feeling suicidal, being unable to properly care for myself, I had barely thought I was ill, I'd just thought I was lazy, or sad, or worthless. But I looked at the blood, and the damage I'd done, and knew I needed help.

So I went to the doctor, and yes, I was sick, and the slow process began. Full of relapse and recovery. It's not over, and it may never be for me, it's more complicated than I can say here. But now I can recognise the signs and know what to look out for and I have learned how to manage my condition. I took a break at the start of this year, and didn't do any conventions, just focused on getting better and giving myself a steady foundation to stand on for the rest of this year. At the moment I am doing well, and I appreciate the peace in my head so much more now I've known such darkness. But life is worth living, and I try and do it with vitatily :)

Depression is so disgusting because it erodes the you-ness of you, the qualities you like in yourself are taken over, even the things you enjoy doing you have to do in the tar. It is not your fault, though it can feel like it is, and others may think it is. I hate that some people think it shows weakness. It shows no more weakness than walking up a mountain with a broken leg shows weakness. Your brain's broken and you must get on -despite- that, doing the washing can be a huge victory, higher than climbing a mountain with a broken leg, and a lot more sensible. People congratulate me for creating a piece of art, or running my own business. No one congratulated me when I did my washing. But really, in my darkest time, it was one of my greatest achievements. And, on some future day where I'm feeling bad, putting another load of washing on will be a big achievement again.

I juts wanted to let you guys know that you were a small light in the huge darkness. Thank you so much for all your comments and notes, I treasure each one of you. Thank you for always being there for me. It's a wonderful feeling to know I can reach out and so many people would grab my hand to help. I know many of you are suffering with the same thing I did. Please reach out, and for those of you willing to, please offer a hand to someone when they reach out, they probably need it more than you know, they might even need it more than they know <3

Today is my birthday, and if I have a birthday wish, it's for this message to be shared :)

Peace, love, and mental well-being,

Blue x





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~Featured Artwork~
Out of the Woods by DestinyBlueI'm fine by DestinyBlueShe's brOKen by DestinyBluelittle roots by DestinyBlueWARPAINT by DestinyBlueNot Alone by DestinyBlue
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Taryn flashes to show whats up her skirt.
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Featured
:iconevilskills:
Collection by
Terminal Frost was the only interplanetary docking station on one of the coldest planets, Pluto.

"Terminal Frost" is a reference to the song by Pink Floyd, the writers of history...

MAX+PS as usual, thanks in advance for comments&faves ;)



[Here is a turbo-high res raw image of it [link]]
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This is a great week, because next to all the bones and the almost-wires, I finally found the balls! Woohoo Of course it was another accident, but I really lóve my accidents ;)
I only wish I had some good anti-aliasing software, tried Gimp but it does not really help. This render took 12 hours in 3680x2760 and it still is horrible, even scaled down :( Well, at least you get the idea ;)

Amaziong Box, Integer Power, _rotate

Mandelbulb3Dv18{
g.....a1...m8...w.....U...U.IIANY0s/.TYKpupUeZ3ECJfckItRL.oaL06aHi79.REeYWyL.R.k
................................J2HD6mZsT/2........Y./..................y.2...wD
...Uz6.....H0....Mk3/.....EQl1...0....E3.....I7bKiQGHAhD/.UmIrVE...i/pAnAr1.nAnY
.3U0LD0D12../2............................................U0.....y1...sD...../..
.zXaNadDUqQtJIIrmvHZ1M0UzEatyaTr0nXRIMbDDbi227R8Auf86V/zFARWy8ok51jEjLjDTQ5bYyoM
avvTGcDH9ohwyKu9cOoO87djU.....IHxC............sD.6....sD..G.....................
.............oAnAt1...sD....zw1...................................E8QwiED....k1.
.....Ksulz1.......kz.A2KM/...k1......s3....C....S....s3....F....1/...I1.....SF5Y
...U.yoPxBIEGd3KmoH7MNSrJ16.0c..mN5S..UkKZMxkayj6YqulQA8Szn...........k.8.kYjd2.
.A72QifFDz1.H0/bvOonz0...........6U0.YnFP/..fjrwdvgqzs/Fbf24LNyD..........E122Yz
bvu...kMw3y4EI/Envn661hee.2.8OYodgf/.5./8.kzzzD............8....................
/EU0.wzzz1...................................c6Uc/UBkMXB3fUWhl2.Z/aJZJQ3gK8X.g2I
E/pwT6sQL/kIFVoID0nW846.ZJKOdtXCvV4E.k/6M.0VERsUu/.NZdaO/xJX7S6.nAHAnEjO5uLO.UQk
rWQcs3dUU/UeaWee...y3q/bee0k.1AkIJJBc6.8wy5.....................................
E....AU.V2.0....2....A....EEh3aSdtqNU6oPs/............................k/9.......
..........kNaNaNaN4wz...........aNaNaNaNqz1.....................................
................................................................................
.....................c..........0....YYPoJqNZ756ExqRZ75.........................
8..............................EnAnAnAnA..A.....................................
................................................................................
................................/....E/...k.....T7pPo34RZ/......................
..........U/4M..........................I.2........3.1.......O2k................
................................................................................
............................................}
{Titel: Buoy}
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Tweak of :iconundead-academy:'s wonderful Tag Along-Pong546 fav.me/d7gsykk from her pong with :iconbatjorge:. Please check her gallery which is crammed with marvels :)
Thank you, Patty, for sharing your amazing parameters! :)

Please zoom in

Mandelbulb3Dv18{
g.....E4...sC.../....I6....q8rYGNCi..nSNJ2Baox/EP2R.ls1iOznVfgwaRvT3.XDqLsMfimxj
................................D3X/akH8zz1........B.NYP................Y.YNaNyD
BnAHy6/..MoN1....Y.1/....2EjE...N0....Eg.....IwHQam4mNmD/Y.41R/E...c/pAnAr1.m.mp
.3U0LDGD12../2UaNaNaNaRszOaNaNaNaFxjOaNaNaN4Jz9............3.....y1...sD...../..
.zHnAnQDCNYYLHwpFx1paeCLpdgCzWej3A8gqSoj4BoIPDEg8xX4exG.KfhAzEXTdvnhf3pD4FFsnVde
ZwPxhSoUgLCJzeZ3NyTtevnDU.....I0k/..TQ....EnAngD32....sD..G.....................
.............oAnAt1...kD....zw1...................................E7uPEEb....61.
.....Ksulz1.......kz..Tpz07U..6......E1...EB....u2...k2....A....H/...Mpw..UG.pjJ
sV5U.8YL8yTnDD6UaQHI.YQh7e2.Y2nzhvim..E92FpyVY.k6o0FIhT67.2..........Ik.r.kzzzD.
.IWE0BEANz1.5C74.qMvz0.kCjZFsxzj.AkMzzzga/..0PJWp1PuzsVB3skNKgzj/.........E.0c..
zzzz............A1...................2U.8.kzzzD............8....................
/6U0.wzzz1....................................8cU0UvivCEYW3cU08.pLTx.ZxOzLxj.Izw
m1I4zxTpz0EvhrCElz5cU08.sXDy.BzTU08c.Qzxr1owz/8cU0ExpLDEoz5cU08.rTzx.RzTU08c..Dw
k1Yyz/8cU0.ysXDE...cU08czz/cU08cyz1cU08cxz3cU08c.w4RjB1CnQX9e/rN.s4NZdbAk.1Aic4Q
E6...I../3E.....I....s....UMj3aQYZYFH/EG4B3...........................U1C....6U/
4MU.......kAnAnAnA9pz0........zDnAnAnAnAtz9.......E/./..........ZNaNaNa79.2.....
.......................o2/A........................................wzcNaNaNaNavD
.....................2.....3....1....wZIjFLMoJ4.IJ4Rm3qAY/......................
4MU/........................UG1E.......Uj.A.......cF./..................kz1.....
...................................wz.........zD................................
........kz1...................../....E/..../....T7pPo34RZFaFjl4NdtqN.A5.........
..........U/4M..........................................................kz1.....
...................................wz...........................................
..........................................E.....I....I....kLEx4PtNoPgFK9nZLP...R
oE4................................................6./..........nAnAnAnArzXNaNaN
aNarz...........................................................................
.....................................................61....3....6....2IPVdLOiR46
HJbQa/...........................Q..4MU/.6...........QaNaNaNaFzDmAnAnAnA1z1.....
..Uxz........UxD.......UU.A.......U9.1..........................................
................................................................}
{Titel: Silver}
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Mandelbulb3D 1.8.2

Some added interest for those who care about such things - this uses the JCube3 formula where I would have normally used Amazing Box.

Mandelbulb3Dv18{
b.....x/...r3...O/...2U...EoVuF.I/7lz4ZgKYzxC65EpcQ36nyPEzX.MimAbPPvzScmffUPFxvj
................................jQ1hwb65O/2........Y./..................I/2...wD
...Uz.....kS..../MU2/......ZA...R/....E3.....2k4ditqhJiD/.UFCH9E...G0dkpXm1.BnAH
z.EnAnID12../2UaNaNaNaNdzKOaNaNaNarD........Uz1............u1....y1...sD...../..
.z1...kD2eT1l1UfYv10Lr3pmMOlyu0L0mduHUeDHjUZN0t/Puv6yAszzxKhy2rY/DUUyIiDl/vTKfkB
4vv8OGvfyx6tyWqvCn6fu9fD......2mF.............sD.6....sD.6E.....................
.............oAnAt1...sD....z.YSy9.sutj..ibz0.0Ty9.kwtj.Upbz0.UTy9ka7D9EE....k1.
.....AQxcz1.......kz9wzzz1.U..6.P....2/...EB....m.FJ6c3.UT.F....6/...I1.....SF52
...U.ydelyjeYFnzTeOgzf8No.6.nc..zzzz..EizccZWGyD4EdGkxmWcz1...........k.8.kXWF1.
.sM93P58iz9.MmnWK2zwz0........../EU0.wzzz1...........s0...................E.2c..
zzzz.............0...................2./8.kzzzD............8....................
/EU0.wzzz1...................................gPhi0U7EgU7a9FoTu2.oQm2ooR7nueM.YXB
bYHkss6Ul/k6Ukl6SeIX2W5.a.l0a./JvKff.M029MmORFcEs/U7EgU7cNaAXB3.a.l0acvPv8Or.M02
9MG9tJpPl/U7EgU7...crIGJzzFoTuIdyzngi8qdxzZX.4rU................................
E....A....E.....3....M....UEplaMjV5.U.pPrJaQ..........................k/9.E07...
..........UNaNaNaNgE.dNaNaNatU1EaNaNaNatQ.InAnAnAnAwz........t0EBnAnAnAn2.2.....
................................................................................
.....................I.....3....6....coEp7KNn..60x4S..pPr/......................
K....................EFC82n2QkxDOaNaNaN4Hz1........wz.........zD........kz1.....
...wz.........zDOaNaNaNa5.2.....................................................
................................/....M....k.....4x4PYZaPb/GGiF56ExqR............
..........U0.U............................omAnAnAneD.XNaNaNaNS0E................
................................................................................
............................................}
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ABoxPlatinumB and jcube3 plus julia. My first 'start from scratch' :)

Mandelbulb3Dv18{
g.....Y/...g2...w....I.....qqVaA0DS6.z5UTiMyyQ4EQu3/Gq5zky1HpZ3adtBcz.VS.GM/rf/k
................................gyyUHFm1xz1........Y.lG/.......E........y.2...8E
...W/7/...kH..../s10/.....UX5....2....k2.....2BGw8AjFUoD..UKYxwDS5bk0FTzIl1....U
./EnAnQD12../2.............................UV.A...........U0.....y1...sD...../..
.w1...kDYxIWD.HnKxf2ezpdemdDzOGrEJKeCqkDxY3IN63fxwHLOjpOv.EJz04NbThsz6oDMDo0o4pk
Uw91QQpbEiREz.hRFjQs.NpDU.....253........2UaNadD.2....sD..G.....................
................692...sD....zw1....................................Ajc3EQ....k1.
.....Ksulz1.....6zzz.wOm61../.B.6/...U4....C....M0....9...U0....J....Q11..EiJF5e
...U.yoPxBIEGd3KmoH7MNSrJ1..0c..mN5S..UkKZMxkayj6YqulQA8Sz1...........k.8.kYjd2.
.A72QifFDz1.H0/bvOonz0...........6U0.YnFP/..fjrwdvgqzs/Fbf24LNyD..........E.0c..
mcV0..kuvBTuCfuj.iySnbiney9..........Al28.EITslB...........83yuedc8tz0.Ra9hwxv.k
/6V0.2FAZ.............klrlkCx9yj.6wTJHz2Vz1..c6Uc/UBkMXB3fUWhl2.Z/aJZJQ3gK8X.g2I
E/pwT6sQL/kIFVoID0nW846.ZJKOdtXCvV4E.k/6M.0VERsUu/.NZdaO/xJX7S6.nAHAnEjO5uLO.UQk
rWQcs3dUU/UeaWee...y3q/bee0k.1AkIJJBc6.8wy5.....................................
E....6E.F2U.....I....w....EE0x4SElKMoZaPppaE..UFH/....................k/.MU/4...
.ok.1Ak.0............/........yD........kz1.....................................
...................................wz...........................................
.....................2.....3....6....coEp7KNn.UQh7HG4B3.........................
K.............................................................zD........sz1.....
...wz.........................................zD................................
................................}
{Titel: decompressed2}
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Modeling
:icongermaniac1985:
Collection by
Model: :iconcuriously9divine:

Photographer: Risque412 --> www.flickr.com/photos/lilbitri… & www.modelmayhem.com/risque412

More from this shoot:
Sweet by Curiously9Divine Wake Up by Curiously9Divine Bed head by Curiously9Divine Lace and Leather by Curiously9Divine Cutie by Curiously9Divine



To see more and to see other goodies follow my Tumblr! Curiously9


:icondonotuseplz::iconmyartplz:
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got my exclusive tee shirt today;]
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.
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don't caree;]

& fyi, keep your perv comments to yourself.
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I need to photograph others soon...
{edit} I cant beleive i have more veiws on this photo then my entire page :P thanks guys!!
due to complaints about graininess Chris :icongenericdreams: de-grained it for me :D

please do visit my page and other works, such as these!

:thumb213243296:
:thumb213031703:
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Featured
:iconsergeant67:
Collection by
Beautiful weather for an air show last Saturday.........NOT!
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Super Favorites
:iconronmaicol:
Collection by
An old shot from 2007, Sziget Fest, Hungary.

Couple of youngsters at the main stage trying to enjoy themselves in spite of rainy weather.
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sdtjfydjhsft
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I'm not sure how I came up with the name for this one.
...
;FULL SIZE FOR ULTIMATE VEIWING; :star:

This one took me while to make, and its still not totally finished yet but I thought I'd put it in anyway.
YAY 100 VIEWS
Used:
Uniball micro pen and V Ball 0.5 pen
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melancholy.
wistful.
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