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How do you make it stop?How do you make it stop hurting!?
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Right now, I am in so much grief...the grief of knowing I've hit an artistic dead-end; The grief of knowing I have to put less time into what I 'used to' love; The grief knowing you've pretty much plateaued; And the grief of knowing people around you just get better and better and you sit there and flounder?
Every time I come here, I feel like I've somehow failed. I feel like a boxer who had been beaten in a such a one sided fight, every time I try to rise, I just fall flat on my face. Nothing makes me feel complete, hell, I even can't leave my house because there's a blizzard outside. Someone once said: "if there was no one else in the world, would you still draw art because it makes you happy?". Well, yes and no. Art made me happy, but life telling you: "sorry, it's not for you!" keeps bitch slapping me.
This morning, I was actually pondering what, if anything, I could do--After much thought, the though
Meh Final Answeh.fNOTE: warning, some ranting...
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Well, it's another Thanksgiving and well, I don't have a whole lot to be thankful for. I can be personally thankful I haven't fallen ill, my Dad's going to be okay, but that's about it. 2013 has been a really shitty year. I've been through enough turbulence to last me the next decade, and this place shouldn't be another cause of more.
Before, I never put a lot of effort into my art because I always put it behind family and work, but this year I made the mistake of trying too hard to get good at this and the time and effort I put to get better cost me some friendships, nearly got me fired and killed a lot of my social life. Worst of all, trying to keep up with the Artistic Jones's left me in the position of a jealous asshole which killed my friendship with :iconmissfuturama: . (I will always miss you.)
Obviously, I'm aware I'm never going back to my life in early 2013 when things seemed to get better everyday, but also, I don't see things get