It Is In The DoingI know what she thinks I do in the bathroom when I take a little too long,More Like This
when I'm a little too quiet.
After all, I'm a healthy teenager with access to the internet, what else could I be doing?
She knocks on the door and asks, "Hey, what are you doing?"
Smile, my dear reader.
Chuckle a little.
Sometimes she's right.
But sometimes... Sometimes I'm on the floor or pressed hard against the wall, my heart a little too fast, my breath a little too quick... my chest a little too tight as I try to keep the sound of steadily falling tears from echoing beyond the door. As I try to keep pretences to the outside world that I do not cry, that nothing hurts me. That always, always, always, I do not fall to the madness of emotions. I have no control of my life but dammit, I am in control of myself.
But every now and then the rigid hold of apathy breaks and I am reduced to this. Crying in a place where no one will hear my tears. Where no one will hear how desperate I am. How broken.
Broken seems lik
Such a simple thingStraining my eyes,More Like This
I search through the fog.
Though still I am blind,
It has been so long.
I've climbed to your balcony.
I've waited in the wings.
I've wracked my mind beyond compare,
Though it's such a simple thing.
You gave me yes, you gave me no,
Yet you never made a sound.
I was so high up,
Aloft in the clouds,
But your wander glance,
Had me crashing back down.
I do not know what makes you so.
No, I don't know why it is.
The way you plague my mind with madness.
It's an endless game I cannot win.
But now I see just who you are,
Is who you've always been.
Perhaps it's me who's seen a change,
A troubled sea that flows within.
FliesFliesMore Like This
One spring day, the Smithsonian Institute, in Washington D.C., received a curious artifact as a donation. Someone had presented the institute with a statue, claiming it was dated to the reign of Ashurbanipal and that it was a representation of the god Baal. The statue was old bronze and showed a humanoid with two pairs of insect-type wings, a fly’s head with pincers, antennae and compounded eyes, and six arms in various poses. The institute needed verification of this strange artifact; so they asked both Clifford Rogers and Puabi to study it. Familiar with Babylonian culture, Puabi gave a believable opinion.
“Superintendent, representations of almost all of the deities of Babylon have varied. I would believe that this is one of Bael. He has been called Lord of the Flies.”
“Madame, that was what the disciples of Jesus called him.”
“In fact, Superintendent,”
PastI rememberMore Like This
Rough loveAm I to say it's rough love,More Like This
When you shudder and scoff when I say I'm beautiful?
But then again, I've never been very pretty.
Am I to say it's rough love,
When you don't even let me touch you?
I guess you've never been very huggable,
But could you at least let me high-five you?
Am I to say it's rough love,
When you say I'm insane, aggressive, crazy?
But then again, we've always fought a bit.
I guess I'm used to it.
Insults, pushing sometimes,
It's all part of the system.
But even the system has its limits.
Too rough isn't good.
Remember that time you said I wasn't creative,
Then I didn't talk to you for the rest of the day,
No matter how you apologised?
I guess rough love is what we've got... But you gotta be careful, too.
White HoodieTrinkets, ink bottles, and fake tattoos;More Like This
I walked pass a stream of people between islands
Of striped tents with smiling shop keepers. The sun’s rays
seeped gently against my then pale skin
enveloped in white sleeves.
I sighed, forcing to busy myself with the same
stuff. My shoulders continued to brush against the arms
of strangers passing in every direction, enamored by the goods
in the striped tents. I feigned ignorance on the internal void
nagging at me to call you to my side. ‘There’d have been no
space for you in this crowd anyway’, I justified.
Then I felt a tap on my shoulder;
I turned around and saw you catching your breath;
In between huffs, I heard you speak:
“I was looking for you.”
I asked you how you found me and you tugged
At my sleeves: “I don’t know anyone else
who would wear that under this pleasant weather.”
I chuckled. That which you found pleasant
was the very same thing I hid from. Stil