Bipolar BalanceOur being is never forever
Our lives begin in a vulnerable child
So we make haste to make it fuller
But should not forget all the while
Our life is not a goal
But a road for out souls
We ride this road and learn
To laugh, to cry, to ravage, to burn
A search for happiness is futile
When a balance is much more worthwhile
The extent of our emotions show
The being inside we try to know
We feel joy and also pain
From both, so much can be gained
So sob when you cry
Laugh when you smile
Our feelings and life only last for a while
This Inner WarHide me underneath your wingMore Like This
Protect me from the storm
Teach me how to breathe again
Keep me safe and warm
I cannot fight the war
What are we even fighting for?
I can't win this battle
All on my own...
Someone save me now,
Before I fall apart,
And stop this beating heart,
From beating anymore
So please, save me...
What are we fighting for?
Depression is an OptionDepression is a choice, my dear,More Like This
And happiness the same
You choose this illness, don’t you?
What a tragic little game.
Depression is an option, love
Just get up out of bed
Take your tears and worries
And just smile now instead.
Depression is a choice, you see,
And so is suicide.
Just sit back, kick your feet up, dear
Enjoy this perfect ride.
Get over your own standards
Of what everyone should be.
Just smile for once, and maybe
You’ll be living perfectly.
Depression is an illness
That we feel so deep within.
Why would anybody choose
To write poetry on their skin?
Unless there lies a reason, dear,
I would not choose to die.
If depression was an option...
I’d choose to say goodbye.
Depression Isn't RealDepression isn’t true, my dearMore Like This
Depression isn’t real.
It’s just a silly tragedy
You’ve forced yourself to feel.
Anxiety is fake, my friend
You wonder why it’s there.
But others have it worse than you!
Stop forming false despair.
Cutting is dramatic, love,
It’s ugly, and it’s dumb.
Why not just get over it?
Is the attention fun?
Suicide is stupid, dear,
And selfish, if I may.
Get over yourself, darling,
Can you hear these things I say?
Why aren’t you replying, love?
Oh, where could you have gone?
I never meant to hurt you, love,
Did I say something wrong?
Why aren’t you replying, dear?
Depression isn’t true!
Oh, but yes it was, “my dear”...
Just maybe not for you.
SolsticeAs it grows colderMore Like This
Into the nighttime
The darkness advances
On our small patch of hope
I feel like
I'm drifting away
From that old, ragged, worn-out
Husk of a body
So young on the surface,
yet it has seen so much -
Dead before its time
Dead in prime, condition:
Why am I like this?
Scattered in my thoughts
Always flitting and switching
Never focussing, never finishing
I never finish anything
Simply because I ne'er want anything to end
If it does...
It just reminds me of how everything ends
I don't want this to end
But yet, the darkness
Darkness advancing, ends all
And my hope? Such as it may be
I know that it won't last
So I shall abandon it
Afore it abandons me
Good night, go gently
Into the cold
HeartbreakI wish for pain and fire,More Like This
For shattered heart,
And lonesome desire.
I long for tears that fall in streams,
For bruised soul,
And crushed dreams.
I beg for wounds and aches,
For damaged mind,
And tough breaks.
All this to remind me,
To prove, that yes,
I have a heart that shakes.
The Sad SongA sad song plays over in my heart.More Like This
It is like a broken record.
Just like my heart.
I was told I was loved.
But they had lied.
The song repeats a line.
"I was never loved" repeats over and over in my heart.
Is that true?
Was I never loved?
I feel my feeble heart gets weaker.
Without the love I cove it I will slowly and painfully die.
No one will come to save me.
I know my fate.
My eyes begin to blur.
I fall to the ground.
The last thing I see is the darkness that consumes me.
Good bye cruel world that wouldn't save me.
The Mask Of StrengthThe strong woman hides behind her mask of strength,More Like This
She is not strong,
She hides her true heart so the world won't break her,
But in truth she was broken from the first day she put it on,
She will hold her head up high,
But that is fake,
She hides her true feelings,
She uses her mask to hide her tears,
She can fool you into thinking she is strong,
Will you see though her mask?
Will you see though my mask?
Will you help me run from this pain I hide?
gravediggerdear sarah,More Like This
if sometimes you can still feel the weight of your bed sheet
around your neck. heaven knows there were days i could count every thread.
last night i was cleaning up my desk, and i found the scissors
i used to crack my skin open four years ago
and when i went to throw them out, it felt like moving mountains
or graves. if you don’t know yet, you’ll learn that some types of grief
leave scars—some ghosts don’t know how to stay buried.
you will stumble through the rest of your life wondering if you will
one day forget how it feels to toe the edge of the cliff and turn the other way.
the answer is no. there is a precipice. there will always
be a precipice. a part of you will always want to throw yourself
over the edge. somehow, you never will. no one will notice.
to them, your race is over. you have cleared the last hurdle.
you have gone one month, three months, six months, a year without
turning your blue blood red. you have won your war. congrat
and the sky is gasping.the windshield wipers jerk forward and backMore Like This
like new wings trying to take flight;
god is crying today. you have split the sky in half.
we are caught in the spaces between words;
the slow gasp separating phrases,
or the gentle grasp on her collarbone.
i am your most destructive nighttime thought.
the car rolls forward, jerking.
white knuckles grip black steering wheel
while red eyelids grip dilated pupils.
muscles tense; the red light flashes green.
speed consumes the center line.
the knots in our stomachs devour
any semblance of righteousness.
lighting breaks the sky, jagged and murderous.
how to write better poetry.i.More Like This
drink down the words
of the greats in a wine glass.
hell, drink down the words
of teenagers struggling
to straighten out the
gas and brake pedals
of their pens.
drink it all,
carefully structured stanzas
and sloppy melting words
make time for it
even if it's midnight
and all the world is humming
its sleep song.
dig up your soul
and shake down the dirt
over and over
until it becomes habit.
(and I know that might
sound like a pretty metaphor,
but it's easier said than done.)
do it when it hurts.
do it when that one person
you never thought you'd lose
leaves you nightcrawling.
do it when you're so tired
you speak in natural riddles,
do it mentally at morning coffee
and grocery checkouts.
force it until it feels
after all, no one is born a poet;
we carve ourselves fresh,
make art from our own
find a springtime kid
with the kind of smile
that causes shipwrecks.
he will warn you to stay away,
but you will
read this when you're so angry you shakelittle drops of oil make rainbows on wet concreteMore Like This
and i don’t know how beautiful you find that,
but sometimes you gotta learn that
the littlest things are the prettiest,
like the shape of your fingernails and the crinkles
you get at the corner of your eyes when you laugh and
when you grow old and i know i said “grow old”
like it’s a temporary thing, but that’s because it is.
you can think it’s forever but it’s really
a split second because you don’t matter, not when
the universe is still growing and speeding through a nothingness
we can’t even fathom, not when color doesn’t exist in space
but nebulas still explode in shades of gold and green,
not when there are stars who die
before their light ever touches our faces. you don’t matter,
not to anyone but the people who have fallen in love
with the way you walk and the way you breathe
and the way you keep doing both.
i don’t care that the universe is spinning and grow
Youth is full of lighter fluidthere must be more to itMore Like This
than rummaging through sea shells,
sharpening and grinding teeth for the rest of your life,
there must be something missing,
fit, snap, click right into place,
some kind of red, blue, orange, neon green thing
or circle-square-deus ex machina that'll break the slow-motion
'cause you're at that age when you should be blowing up,
lighting up the atmosphere with your pretty mouth,
you should be the one showing these handsome devils
who's the real deal, the fine blended cut,
the reason it's really worth paying those 5 extra bucks.
why smile if you're not biting,
why be gorgeous without fucking,
why be young if you're not
splattering your name on all the walls,
'cause if you've got fire in your eyes
then youth is full of lighter fluid.
you would illuminate the streets,
brightening the atmosphere
with your pretty eyes and teeth.
should, would, possibly, probably,
words that mean nothing when you feel like you've skipped past
a period of s
She grew up brokenAnd when she was fiveMore Like This
There were galaxies in her eyes
And she couldn't help but notice the wonders of the world
She saw nothing but beauty
And when she was seven
There were tears in her eyes
And she couldn't help but notice the bruises on her skin
Put there by someone who should never have touched her like that
And when she was eleven
There was fear in her eyes
And she couldn't stop him, not matter how many times she said no
He used her
And when she was fourteen
There were scars on her arm
And she couldn't deal with the demons in her head
So she bled every night
And when she was sixteen
Her eyes were empty
And she couldn't stop crying
Because memories cut deeper than any knife
Put Me On A PedestalPut me on a pedestalMore Like This
and watch me suffer
Raging against my imperfections
(that you won't acknowledge)
You bring your offerings of flowers and words
until I can't breathe
and my chest aches from
and the reality of never being enough
Why can't you see that I don't belong up here?
This place is reserved for the stars and the moon.
and I'm just a girl
with a broken brain and messy hair.
Let me fall.
Don't catch me.
I promise if you do,
you'll get hurt way worse than me.
whimsical and a shot of whiskey"I won't come down,"More Like This
i said, peering over the edge of the clouds,
and far below my ghosts tittered and hissed
"but you can't stay up there forever!"
they called, tangling themselves up,
all discordant and enraptured, starving and repressed
and i knew they were right
and i looked over to the winding road
where you decided i wasn't enough
making believe i could see you still trudging away
but i blinked and you were gone.
It Isn't BeautifulI used to cut myself.More Like This
Some of the marks faded,
But some stayed
And now I’m forever jaded.
People have kissed my scars,
Others have turned away
But here is what I have to say;
It isn’t beautiful.
When it hurts to walk
Because your thighs are bleeding,
When you can’t talk
About the help you’re needing;
It isn’t beautiful.
When it’s boiling outside
But you have to wear sleeves
Because of your bloody little
It isn’t beautiful.
When your friends
Are scared of you,
Of the things you do;
It isn’t beautiful.
When you feel so worthless,
So down and out,
Used up and empty,
And all you do is shout
But nobody hears,
Because you silence it
It isn’t beautiful.
When they find out
And you see how much,
How deeply they care
And they hate themselves
For not being aware;
It isn’t beautiful.
When they take it away,
And monitor you
And you’re itching all over,
Desperate for it,
For one last hit
Past Tense BluesWasesMore Like This
So are weres;
And it's the becauses
That make them feel
That much worse.
A LetterA ribbon of the words making the world fade into grey,More Like This
the words that described the state of an old heart,
the darkness embraced it and led her mind astray,
as if that was a disease, mercilessly tearing it apart...
A change of the reality as it once was;
as she remembered,
of the love in her heart she so dreadfully treasured...
"Take this pain and turn it into a beautiful memory,
my heart shall carry it from here to the eternity,
I'll remember it everytime I turn on our melody...
Bring the light to my dark forgotten soul,
that once was eaten by a cruel sorrow,
put the broken pieces together and set them to eternal dreams..."
Fragile, seeking for a man of her lost fairytale,
was it, indeed, too late for a fix,
of midnight skies her skin appeared so pale,
lost and regretful,
desperate for a one last kiss.
I Am HereI'm not goneMore Like This
I haven't left you
I know you cant see me
It doesn't matter
I'm not going anywhere
On those lonely nights when you cry because you don't think anyone can hear you
I'll be there holding you hand, even though you cant feel me
When it seems like the world is against you, I will be there by your side
I have not left you
I can not
Even death itself can not take me away
No one can see me, feel me,
but for you i would bear all eternity alone
Just so you don't have to
because I'm here
And when i see you smile, I am not alone
I have you
Although you don't have me
for that i am sorry
one day you will join me
but till then
I am here
slowing downi.More Like This
cradling my heart
after it got
hearing it faintly
pulse in my hands;
save me, please...
careless - I was;
surely, you understand
that love has its own
way of controlling life.
placing my dying heart
in a box, taped up with
bandages, hoping that
some day it can be repaired.
Our Heirtage is our generationMore Like This
The Next Generation
In every tribe we raised our next generation to take a path given to them by the beliefs we believed in. Nurtured he or she to fallow the paths that destiny takes on the red path, help he or she understand the walk in life may it be bad or good, and caries to let them grow ever coming closer to be free like an eagle.
That is our legacy to our race to uphold, to keep on moving forward, to fight for our rights, and to become what our ancestors taught us to do. Our ancestors taught us the dance, how to use the land and treat it with respect, the nature sounds that echo through the woods, the way we have hunted for as long as any of us could remember, and forged peace with other tribes in council smoking the sacred pipe with every leader.
We as a people is scares I admit that ... but, the ancestors will return some day to reteach us to adapt to the future generation we will plant on this mother earth. Words from the heart I will say " Many generation may have been lost
Staring is RudeToday I found a photoMore Like This
Of you and me.
(I found a photo that we're both in.)
I always hated that picture
Because quite frankly,
Neither of us looked
At the camera
Or that good individually
I had stupid lines
From an uneven tan
That I got
In an ugly swim suit.
(I've sworn off tanning since.)
You had a stupid smirk
Because you were intent on
Being sad all the time,
But I make people feel better.
(So you couldn't help it.)
Your dad's unfashionable tie
Was trying to match
My cheap prom dress
But failing miserably,
(And his suit was swallowing you.)
I couldn't help but stare
At the train wreck we documented,
So representational of how we were,
That you somehow loved.
(Until we broke up and you sent it back.)
I can't afford
Wasting time like that,
So I made myself
Shred that horrible keepsake.
(Only now, I'm staring at the shredder.)
A Ruined DreamI once had a dreamMore Like This
You were there
Of the flowers and candles
The colors and music
That beautiful dress
It's gone now
And I'm gone too
Our love tainted
By your lover
By your lies
The GirlThere was a girl once who lovedMore Like This
oh how she did love
So much her heart could burst
So much her belly ached from that love
Where the thought of him melted her
Brought color to her cheeks
He was her summer time after a long hard winter who's winds wore at her edges
Nipped at her heels
Cracked her lips and chapped her skin
He was her hearts home
Her one and only
Where is that girl who had so much love in her heart
Now that Her love has been taken
Stolen from her
This new girl is empty, cold
Her eyes are full of tears
Her face once rosy now pale
Deep thinking of a broken heartI've been lying here awake at night.More Like This
I lay here staring at the ceiling
The baby coos in his sleep
Making me smile faintly
The tv flashes from some show
I can't hear it
I'm thinking about if I can stay strong
Can I deal with the distance
Can I trust
Can I still love after all this hurt
I'm thinking about how much love I have
The things I can give him
A happy life
I'm thinking about feelings
How I feel around him
How my body feels
How it rises to his touch
The heat and the fire
How my heart feels when we are apart
How it feels when we fight
I'm thinking about her
The woman who told me
All those horrible things
About the lies
Him saying they were lies
Can I play the fool again and risk my heart
How many nights will I lay here staring at the ceiling
Before he comes to me and makes me believe
I want to hope
I want to believe
But I'm thinking every night
I'm laying here thinking
When all I w
rant oneSome days I wonder if love between two people can ever be real.More Like This
It's always an up and down hysterical rollercoaster of feelings that are enough to drive a person up a wall.
One day your all they can think about and long for and the next they are distant, tired, bored of you.
Such highs and lows can be exhausting, hard to keep up with.
To judge a persons mood is a feat and a half.
Though you may always be the same towards him it isn't always soon the other side.
Trying to give space when needed yet still be loving or give all the attention you can when he wants you.
Such days are heaven when even super glue isn't the right example of your closeness but those other days when you could fit the titanic between you lengthwise are terrible one wrong word or look and everything blows up in your face.
The hardest is when they are so mercurial that you never know or rarely can read them.
That is when you are truly and for lack of better term you are truly without a doubt fucked.
Some days in th
I just wanted to say....I love you (Poem)You were here, just a few weeks had pastMore Like This
But still, everywhere where I look, it reminds me of you
I still haven't changed a few things when you were here the last time
I just want to say that I love you
I can clearly remember to hold your hands
Every night I think of us, cuddling and hugging in the bed
I often think of those feeling you gave me
And I still know that it gave me goosebumps
But I just wanted to say it again, I love you
To just think of those old days...
What was my dream again? Yes, to have a hungarian in my kitchen
But that was not all, not at all
I wanted to embrace you again and even massage you, your back is so soft
And at the end, all what I thought was "I love you"
I can't forget the time when you were here
And I wish it would never end
I don't want to forget your scent, nor I want to forget your eyes and your purring
You showed me a bit of freedom and also you showed me a part of my future dreams
You showed me a bit more of the world, that's
Battle ScarsBattle Scars~More Like This
Why do you hate me?
I did nothing to you…
Why do you break me?
There is nothing else I can do…
These many scars,
That line my wrists,
My battle scars.
The many fists,
They hit my body,
Fists of hate, name calling, and pain.
My battle scars.
Now I sit, out in the rain,
Rain of tears and suffering.
Crying tears, never ending,
Why do they do this?
Here I am, razor in hand,
New Battle Scars.
Once you said ... (poem)You told me, we are the sameMore Like This
But also you told me that I am like someone you loved and lost
But are you really sure of it?
I feel like I would fake myself for you
I just want that someone loves and cares about me
You told me that you love me
But how can I be sure that you really mean it?
My whole life I was pushed from one side to the other
My life is a mess, so why do you want to share it with me?
No, I want to protect you from me
I don't want that you see me destiny
You told me you wouldn't care
You wouldn't care about my look and my disease
It always makes me cry when you say to me
"I won't let you die" "We are family"
I want to believe it, trust me, but I can't
We are nothing than god's fragments
His toys, which he can crush every moment
I always try to convience you to go on
But how long can you stand it?
You always tell me not to loose hope and believe in something
But how long can I stand it?
You never see my tears nor you can feel them
They are invisible for you
Also you will n
What Happened?I used to think make upMore Like This
Made people ugly.
Now I think I'm ugly without it.
I used to think people
Always loved me.
Now I think everyone hates me.
I used to think everybody
Was my best friend.
Now I think no one truly is.
I used to think
Boys were icky!
Now I wish I had one.
What happened to being
Does that make me Different?I wear make up. Does that make me fake?More Like This
I cry. Does that make me emo?
I have male friends. Does that make me slutty?
I smile a lot. Does that make me weird?
I laugh loud. Does that make me preppy?
I have anxiety. Does that make me a freak?
I have Bipolar Disorder. Does that make me abnormal?
I respect people. I change for me, and only me. I have a past, but I know I have a future.
Does that make me different?
But at least it makes me
No Longer a Little GirlDear imagination, can't you be the thing you wereMore Like This
Butterflies and daffodils and happiness so pure
Sunny skies and lullabies and dreams of what could be
Hidden worlds and wonderlands of things they couldn't see
Shining gowns and silver crowns for dancing with the prince
Twirling with excitement, though the others weren't convinced
Dear intimidation, did you find it to be true
All I ever needed was an overdose of you
Silly stares and laughter slowly flood a child's mind
Making me abandon every daydream I could find
Lost beneath the shadows of the sky so dark and dead
Far too weak to turn around, yet scared of things ahead
Dear destructive tendencies, I feel it's time to hear
You were all I had when nothing else seemed to be near
Everything so out of reach, too far for me to see
I decided I would choose the needle next to me
Slicing through my very skin to feel something once more
Weeping through the satisfaction I could not ignore
Dear imagination, can't you be the thing you were?
Sorry My Best Wasn't Good EnoughYou are impossible to pleaseMore Like This
impossible to satisfy
impossible to quench your desire
you are impossible to pacify
you want everything
you want all of me
you want nothing but
what you want
You don't even care about me!
I've tried over and over
to calm you
and keep your temper down
but when you don't get what you want
it's: I want it right NOW!
Well I give up
I'm done trying
to get to you
When I walk out that door
you won't see me no more
I'm done! I'm through!
and I'm sorry my best
wasn't good enough for you!