My DepressionTighten the noose and load the gun,More Like This
Pop some pills and wait for the sun.
Sharpen the knife and make a deep slash,
Slowly bleeding out, I see my life flash.
The time that I've wasted, the hours I've lost;
The suffering I've taken, and at what cost?
The hurt, the pain, the stabs and shots;
The cuts, the crying, only filling in the dots.
Writing my suicide notes and planning quietly,
No one ever noticed or even cared slightly.
Now I'm feeling that depressing urge again,
It's been sometime since I've seen Death, my friend.
These shackles that hold me and keep me bound,
Making loud, insane and tortuous sounds.
This life I've lived I've lived for far too long,
Death begins to sing his slow, melancholy song.
I've tried to live happy, smiling and strong;
But tonight I fear I may end it all.
As I walked down the halls, my head down;
People would trip me, call me names oh so foul.
Cutting a new cut every time I went home,
Cursing myself for it, feeling all alone.
When I told an adult it di
Go to sleepJust go to sleep young oneMore Like This
When your sleep
I'll come for the kill
This is the last night
Just go to sleep young one
No one will know
It will just be quick
Just go to sleep young one
I will get my revenge
Your life is gone
Just go to sleep young one
I'm The Monster.I chased him awayMore Like This
my best friend
I can only blame
I made him a monster,
drug his name through the dirt
and in his time of need
I increased the hurt.
Now I can die
now I know the truth
this is goodbye
now that I've said sorry to you.
I'm sorry Dyson. I am in the wrong, I am the one to blame. You'll never come back, I chased you away, and now you hate me. I don't want you to keep the deal. I'm dying, and you're living, got that? Goodbye Dyson. I'm sorry I ruined everything. I'm sorry you ever had to put up with me. I'm sorry we met, I wish I would've just died last Christmas. Please, live a long and happy life...I love you brother.
Everyone: I was the one to blame, he did nothing wrong. I am the coward, the attention whore, I over reacted, I created all this drama, and now I'm paying for it. Punishment must fit the crime.
RelapseI tried to cut again but the f*@!$&^ knife and razor blade is dull. I need to cut the these emotions out of me.More Like This
The Monster in the MirrorIt stares at me in the mirrorMore Like This
What i always despised
Everything I always hated
It's all there
Guilt, pain, perverted soul
Why does it look back at me?
Whats this monster that I've created?
It seems I created my own destroyer
The end of me stares at me
It holds my gaze without flinching
It stares at me with such disdain
It hates me for the hurt and the pain
I'm the scientist and creator
He's the product and offspring
My choices stare at me and scream
They rush for me to tear me to shreds
They'll try and turn back time
Maybe there's still hope
Maybe the monster will implode
I turn and run from it
The monster in the mirror.
Die a Thousand TimesNo matter how hard you protect meMore Like This
You can protect me from myself
No matter how much you shelter me
You can’t shelter me from my own eyes
No matter how much you try and save me
You can’t save me from my own life
But hold tight to me mother
Comfort me in my hard times
But please stand by me
Please try to understand my broken state
Please let me live my life
Please love me
I will stumble and fall
My heart will break a thousand times
My mind will torment me to the point of death
But I will stand again
I will take one faltering step after another
And I will slowly inch my way towards the finish line
I will drown under the weight of this world
But my lungs will breath the air again
And I will live again
Some fights I will fight on my own
Some choices I will screw up all by myself
Sometimes I will hate myself
But please always love me
Please be my rock
Please be my constant as I tumble head over heels in the current
In the end, I will survive
But for now I must die a thousand time
I can'tI really can't stop thinking about those eyes. They're so beautiful. And the face they belong to. That smile. Those ridiculously full lips. Kissable. Perfection. Hearing his voice, it's just... Singing, the voice of an angel perhaps? How lucky to be in the presence of such beauty. I envy you...More Like This
Oh kay I think it's time to shut up.
.I wedged the remains of your bus ticket veinsMore Like This
And chloroform sticky notes under the floor boards
Concealing them, out of sight out of mind, but I swear
Sometimes at night I can hear them crunching
Vowels like bones between their molars
Aching for the flesh and thesis of pretty little girls
Filmy and crackling like static between the slopes
Of your shoulders, those quiet spaces between
The short lived confessions and pulpits of your
Half assed convictions and lovers trysts.
Hardly left any room
For the gods to reside in the pieces of heaven
That you scattered across the carpet
Of your apartment floor
in hopes of catching angels between ash trays.
Happy BirthdayThis is not a poem.More Like This
It's not even a story.
This is a simple observation.
Today I was on Facebook, a dangerously common occurrence for me. Borderline addiction, possibly. I looked to the right column where events and birthdays are posted, and noticed it was a friend's birthday. And I hesitated in saying anything.
I hesitated to say happy birthday to a friend. Why?
Was it because we only had one community college class together a couple of years ago, so our friendship is little more than a past acquaintance that hasn't yet ceased to exist on a social media site?
Was it because I didn't have the time to type out those two simple words, perhaps even a dot of punctuation if I'm splurging on free time? The answer to this question is no, because even though I have a quiz tomorrow and two midterms next week, I was clearly distracted on Facebook nonetheless. Besides, I'm typing this now, and it's quite more extensive than a happy birthday.
Was it because I thought it would be awkward if he got