My DepressionTighten the noose and load the gun,More Like This
Pop some pills and wait for the sun.
Sharpen the knife and make a deep slash,
Slowly bleeding out, I see my life flash.
The time that I've wasted, the hours I've lost;
The suffering I've taken, and at what cost?
The hurt, the pain, the stabs and shots;
The cuts, the crying, only filling in the dots.
Writing my suicide notes and planning quietly,
No one ever noticed or even cared slightly.
Now I'm feeling that depressing urge again,
It's been sometime since I've seen Death, my friend.
These shackles that hold me and keep me bound,
Making loud, insane and tortuous sounds.
This life I've lived I've lived for far too long,
Death begins to sing his slow, melancholy song.
I've tried to live happy, smiling and strong;
But tonight I fear I may end it all.
As I walked down the halls, my head down;
People would trip me, call me names oh so foul.
Cutting a new cut every time I went home,
Cursing myself for it, feeling all alone.
When I told an adult it di
RelapseI tried to cut again but the f*@!$&^ knife and razor blade is dull. I need to cut the these emotions out of me.More Like This
The Monster in the MirrorIt stares at me in the mirrorMore Like This
What i always despised
Everything I always hated
It's all there
Guilt, pain, perverted soul
Why does it look back at me?
Whats this monster that I've created?
It seems I created my own destroyer
The end of me stares at me
It holds my gaze without flinching
It stares at me with such disdain
It hates me for the hurt and the pain
I'm the scientist and creator
He's the product and offspring
My choices stare at me and scream
They rush for me to tear me to shreds
They'll try and turn back time
Maybe there's still hope
Maybe the monster will implode
I turn and run from it
The monster in the mirror.
Die a Thousand TimesNo matter how hard you protect meMore Like This
You can protect me from myself
No matter how much you shelter me
You can’t shelter me from my own eyes
No matter how much you try and save me
You can’t save me from my own life
But hold tight to me mother
Comfort me in my hard times
But please stand by me
Please try to understand my broken state
Please let me live my life
Please love me
I will stumble and fall
My heart will break a thousand times
My mind will torment me to the point of death
But I will stand again
I will take one faltering step after another
And I will slowly inch my way towards the finish line
I will drown under the weight of this world
But my lungs will breath the air again
And I will live again
Some fights I will fight on my own
Some choices I will screw up all by myself
Sometimes I will hate myself
But please always love me
Please be my rock
Please be my constant as I tumble head over heels in the current
In the end, I will survive
But for now I must die a thousand time
Killer Pains and Pain KillersJust a girl in a worldMore Like This
That doesn't appreciate her
All alone, no home
It's no wonder all she does is roam
She found relief at around eighteen
Trying to cope with a world so mean
She said "Just once. Just to see"
"Who knows maybe? I might feel happy"
All alone in this big city
such a gorgeous woman
Eyes so pretty
Hair like gold
At med school she enrolled
Close to breaking mind aching
These pills she can't stop taking
Taunts degrading still making pain excruciating
She smiles for the world
...But she's only faking
Numbed by neurons in the brain
To reduce her social pain
All these feelings she contained
Lead to nights left blood stained
Nerves deadened by hydrocodone
Prescribed for her unbroken bone
By a man prone to condone deeds unknown
He understands, she's just lonesome
But blinded by her addiction
This man's love to her is fiction
Eyes permanently tinted red
She doesn't know she's long been dead