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NormalToday,More Like This
I'll be normal,
Like you,
I'll act like I'm better,
I'll laugh because someone made a fool of themselves,
Even when it wasn't funny.
I'll yell at my parents,
Because life's not fair,
I'll dress in as little as possible,
So that some guy likes me,
I'll talk behind the back of another friend,
Because they all hate me anyway.
I'll treat you badly,
Because I'm that insecure,
I'll put myself down,
For a friends attention,
I'll take my hand,
And stick it down my throat.
I'll drink until,
I can no longer stand,
I'll get into a car that drives way to fast,
I'll let myself get used,
Then they'll all like me,
I'll be accep
My world does not existToday,More Like This
You told me,
My world,
Does not exist.
I shook,
My head,
I refuse,
To believe you.
It hurt,
To hear,
Your words,
Lack of faith.
But it makes,
No difference,
My world,
Is real.
You say,
Otherwise,
I don't,
Care.
I have,
Such hopes,
That I,
Can leave.
Stay,
Inside,
My own,
World.
It's there,
When I,
Hear the,
Music.
And,
When,
I imagine,
I'm gone.
I can't,
Dream,
Anymore,
I see only black.
Allow,
Me this,
I need it,
Badly.
It's my,
Only,
Freedom,
All that I have.
Today,
You told me,
My world,
Does not exist.
SmileI look and see but empty smilesMore Like This
No, tis not the smiles
Only to reflect what I, in my despair
Have not?
I can gift you with my smile,
Although the question is would that smile be real?
Have I any idea, why this emptiness consumes me?
Or am I doomed to suffer till its filled?
I can laugh, perhaps only because that is what is expected.
My mouth now twitches at the thought.
The heavy ache deep within my heart,
Is it simply something I now must overcome.
Do I pray, do tell me just what is the matter.
Why my words are so hard to choke out
And my very soul seems to cry?
But OneBut one and the line betweenMore Like This
the dry, cracked ground
on one side tonight,
the other tomorrow
today, tomorrow its always been this
but one
the souls walk
today, or tomorrow. it matters not
they came with the river
but one and the line between
who are these, with haunted eyes
they have left a trail spattered with tears and lies
broken boding no ills
but one, the song of the wanderer
but one, the sun slowly falling
but one, Hope.
Music Saves My Soul -poem-More Like This
All this rage inside my head
Keeps me up when in bed
I'm going crazy, I'm insane
It's not something you can tame
And there's this song playing in my mind
That's on REPLAY all the time
The melody is sick, it's so upbeat
Did someone just turn on the heat?
I'm going crazy, dancing wild
Like I'm some kind of hyper child
I feel this song deep in my veins
After this, It's not the same
'Cause this song is making me high
I'm so crazy, don't know why
Losing my mind, out of control
This wild song's deep in my soul
PheonixThe flames rose higher and higher,More Like This
pieces of paper took flight, as would butterflies in the spring breeze.
And wish you that the fire had never been set,
How can you, that you never forget?
The bits that made up You, you thought a weakness.
So you burned them down, forgetting that you too,
were attached to that crown.
So the things you so loathed,
were rendered to coals.
Those that you loved soon joined the sky.
I watched you walk through the still,burning ashes
with bloodstained tears in your eyes.
I know forever you will regret this.
But gather your scorched past around you;
Because even from ashes comes life.
PretendIf I told you I loved you,More Like This
would you believe me?
If I told you I loved you,
would you even care?
Would you pretend to love me,
so when I die
I can pretend someone cared?
Easier This WayI'm lying to your faceMore Like This
every time I tell you I'm okay.
It's easy to hide the emotional struggles
when I laugh and make off color jokes,
when I dance around and talk about addiction
like it's just a thought
and nothing more.
It's gets easier as more time passes,
because I start to believe that's all it is,
I don't perceive it as a fib,
it's a fact in my mind.
Then some days,
I'm about to break,
to let loose.
I'm teetering on the edge,
I'm ready to leap.
I'm looking for a way out,
but I come to you instead.
I'm about to tell you everything,
I'm so close to breaking free.
But then I look into your eyes,
I see the pain I've c
Stop Judging MeFeeling the sun shining on my faceMore Like This
My hair blowing through the wind
My eyes closed
My body feels so heavy
As I open my eyes
I see people looking at me
Looking at my scars
Looking at my beated soul
Looking at this lost girl
I try to hide away from them
Their judging
Their sharp word cutting into my soul
I know what I did
Please leave me alone
Let me suffer in silence
Let me heal in the darkness
Instead of opening my scars
Causing more pain and sorrow
Let this lost girl find her way back
Before kicking her down
Judging her
Without knowing her
Without knowing her dark past
This girl has gone through so much
But will not b
Save MeWhat is this feeling, this feeling inside?More Like This
It draws me in deeper
Into my mind
I hate to see it end this way
I can't see your face anymore
Pull me out
Grab my hand
Save my soul
Keep me here
I don't know how I got this way
Bitter tears have stained my soul
Losing my mind, losing my faith
Help me to breathe
Pull me out (out of this dark!)
Grab my hand (please don't let go!)
Save my soul (what's left to save?)
Keep me here (beside your heart.)
Keep me here!
Hold my heart!
Save my soul!
Give me faith!
I can't see your face anymore...
Life Crumbles in MomentsLife crumbles quicklyMore Like This
In the moments where I'm not sure if I should have taken those two pills together
In the moments where I have to determine what your intentions are
In the moments where I need a friend and no one is available
In the moments where I can't stop staring at how my belly bulges when I sit
In the moments when I have a million thoughts and none of them make sense
In the moments where my integrity is questioned
In the moments where no one is listening
In the moments where I'm not good enough for what I want
In the moments where I'm not good enough at all
Life crumbles quickly
Just little by little
Welcome HomeIf home is a place you are to feel welcome;More Like This
a place you feel loved-
if home is a place you are welcomed,
then home must be my hand in yours.
When we are together,
I'm perfectly at home,
but when you take me home...
boy I feel so lost without you
When I lay down at night.
Wishing you by my side.
So take my hand, let's fly away.
Far, far away.
A new demention,
forever and an eternity.
Love that won't decay.
Under the moonlight,
let's start a new civilization.
Me and you, together forever.
as the sun sets the horizon.
DarkThe dark takes over,More Like This
much of the land,
towards midnight.
From the hot desert sand,
to the prairies and fields.
Dark is safe,
hiding us from all evil.
The black is deep,
with hints of blue,
where many things happen,
and no one has a clue.
Run away,
from the anger and pain,
it goes on forever,
until the next morning,
you will no longer be held on a chain.
Into the shadows,
deep at night,
hide there forever,
no more fright.
Broken TrustAs I'm drowning,More Like This
You're drifting away.
As I'm slowly dying,
You begin to stray.
I showed nothing but appreciation,
I clung to your seemingly endless hope.
Until I discovered,
We both thought about hanging that rope.
You might know what it's like,
Both of us have awaited Hell's gate.
Invincible barriers of pain when you find,
You can't save me, it's too late...
Where have you been?
You promised you'd always be here.
Are you falling too?
Into our greatest fear?
We promised eachother,
You wouldn't leave me in the dust.
Or maybe you would...
For now all we have is broken trust.
Falling BehindI know the feel of those hands.More Like This
Every time I see them,
I imagine them on my skin,
where they've been before.
I've looked in your eyes,
seen something,
something which neither of us know
what it means.
Something confused.
I've dreamed those lips on mine,
hoped with every laugh I gave you
and every smile that touched your face because of me
that you would dream it too.
Now with all these years between us
and all other years yet,
doubt replaces all belief
all wishing
and all want
that anything could happen.
For meDrown me in your innocence,More Like This
Release me from my guilt,
Set me free from my sins,
Then we'll escape from hell together.
Give me the love I need,
Heal my broken heart,
Make me all brand new,
And I'll live with you forever.
Take away the pain that makes me suffer,
Make me hurt no more,
Leave me feeling free,
Then we can let go of this sorrow.
Create for me a future,
Somewhere we'll be together,
Let me spend my days with you,
And we'll chase tomorrow.
Allow me this embrace,
We'll be intertwined,
I am now apart of you,
Let us sleep where we lay.
Make sure that I smile,
Give me your happiness,
Scare away my demons,
With you I'
artistsjust wrote thisMore Like This
still struggling with art artists blah
hope get through soon
-- rereading feels bit (erh... quite...) uncool
uncool me
... please bear with me :icongiveflowerplz:
***
when i'm a child
i make imagesbecause i feel like doing it
i enjoy it
i try try
i play
:icontoyhorseplz:
when i want to be comfortable
money-wise
and with all those things
money can buy
to make images
as others would want make them
or need make them
in order to earn profit
or to represent themselves
favorably
i lend them my hands and
my brain
:iconintenseworkingplz:
when i burn for acknowledgement
by those deemed to be,
named to be
magicians
in the temple of arts,
masters
of glass bead gamei find new
a kind of new the guardians will nod about
will say: "it's a new!"
and some of them will blah
lots about how and why...
... while we all make some money
or even more than
most skilled hands ever dream of
...
Markov Decision Processes read onlineMarkov Decision Processes book downloadMore Like This
D. J. White
Download Markov Decision Processes
It examines these processes from the standpoints of modeling and of optimization. . Filar, Koos. This book is devoted to a unified treatment of Competitive Markov Decision Processes. White. Amazon.com: Markov Decision Processes: Discrete Stochastic Dynamic. Markov Decision Processes with Their Applications Book Sp..ger | 2007 | ISBN: 0387369503 | 298 pages | PDF | 1,4 MB Markov decision processes (MDPs), also called stochastic dynamic programming, were first studied in the. by A B Piunovskiy (The University of Liverpool, UK) This invaluable book provides approximately eighty. The Wiley-Interscience Paperback Series consists of selected books that have been made more accessible to consumers in an eff
My loveMy love,More Like This
Look away,
I can't let you see,
This sight is not mean't for you,
You won't understand.
Darling,
Just stop screaming,
Please don't be afraid,
It's not your fault I'm bleeding,
You didn't cause these wounds.
Babe,
Don't be scared of me,
There's nothing to fear,
It's still me that you see,
I'm just a little scarred.
Honey,
Don't you worry,
I'll try to make myself better,
Even if it will just get worse,
I can't hide this anymore.
Sweetheart,
Please don't cry,
I can't make you smile,
I don't know how to make you happy,
I only feel the cold.
Dear,
You must be strong,
I'm still weak,
I need you to help me,
Toge
Where is the fun?Where is the fun.....More Like This
in hurting others by different means, physically and emotionally......
Where is the fun.....
in making people cry while you and your gang are happy? when you go and steal happiness from them? when you rob them of their happy times.....and leave them in misery and desperation?
Where is the fun.....
when you act so arrogantly, thinking that you are supreme while other people are your subjects? thinking that you are the center of the universe while the others are like planets, floating around you, while you are the sun, groping them, with fear in their eyes?
Where is the fun.....
when you insult people because of who
A young girl criesA young girl cries,More Like This
She's just another troubled kid,
Her head rests against the door,
She lies in the dark,
And sheds the eyeliner,
As her tears,
She can feel herself break a little bit more,
Another part of her has disappeared,
Outside she's crying,
On the inside she's dying,
She cries alone,
She's shut the door,
To keep everyone else out,
They're stronger than her,
And causing her to break.
She tries to make herself feel a little better,
Or at least good enough,
To stop herself hurting this way,
As she bleeds the black from her bloodshot eyes,
She closes them,
She can pretend she's somewhere else.
Now she's cried so muc
FragileI'm so fragile,More Like This
Handle with care,
I could break,
I'm not strong.
I'm so fragile,
A blade will make me bleed,
Break the skin,
Leave me scared.
I'm so fragile,
The tears I shed,
They fall like rain,
Wet my lips.
I'm so fragile,
There are shadows beneath my eyes,
I'm so weary,
My eyes are red.
I'm so fragile,
I cling to lies,
They're my only hope,
The truth is brutal.
I'm so fragile,
The one that gives me strength,
My biggest weakness,
My only hold.
I'm so fragile,
I have to cling to life,
So I can live,
I don't want to die.
I'm so fragile,
I'm holding on,
I'm in your grasp,
Don't let go.
I'm so fragile,
I love y
Now I'm BeautifulThe body sprawled limp on the floor.More Like This
Light reflected off the broken shards of the mirror,
Creating a scene of dancing fairies above,
The beauty of which scowled ironically down
And lost itself to the savage picture below.
Speckled blood, floating hair, ripped nails and the mirror pieces.
Tentatively, a sickly finger began to twitch,
With it rose the cracked red face
Emerging from under the dark straight hair
That dropped stand by strand to the floor.
Multiple sets of four thick crimson oozing parallel lines
Criss-crossed the otherwise white face.
With a shaky breath knees began to move and the body rose
Taking a fetal position i
Finding My WayMore Like This
You have your opinion and I have mine
But don't go bashing me all the time
I have feelings can't you see
So please just let me be ME
PainWhat is a world without hardship? A world without pain? I know it doesn't exist.More Like This
Pain exists.
To make us stronger,
sometimes.
But I always wonder, why must the pains be so great?
As to strike us down,
when our hearts are on the edge of shattering,
when we lose our way.
The one true evil takes the doubt, the pain, and pushes us until we lose ourselves.
The one true evil feeds off our pain
and uses it to spread the pain.
Uses us until we are nothing but dark hollow shadows,
when we have truly lost our way.
Pain against pain, in a war, until the very end,
when we are bloodied and broken.
Only then do we experience the tru
Body LanguageHe is at workMore Like This
Twelve hours in a day
He is in an office, a small cubicle
What he does for his family
He has to work at night and then switch
Off to days. It is never-ending, and it
Takes a toll on his body.
He comes home and we have nothing to say
Nothing of real value, or with a grit that defines
Who we are
He is defined by his work, by his love
Of his wife, his children, his family
I don't know what to say to him after all these
Years, twenty and counting
There must be something, anything, but there
Is laugher at times and a certain comfort that
Comes with many years
All is known about each other, or mostly that
We ca
Leave her to herselfLeave her to herself,More Like This
She doesn't expect kindness,
She has gotten used to being alone,
She's always ignored,
That's what it's like for her,
You'll just join her,
She doesn't need you,
Ignore her,
Leave her to herself.
Leave her to herself,
She doesn't need company,
She likes her solitude,
She's better off alone,
That's how she likes it,
You'll get hurt,
She keeps herself safe,
Ignore her,
Leave her to herself.
Leave her to herself,
She doesn't want to talk,
She doesn't mind the silence,
She's always quiet,
That's how she is,
You'll waste your time,
She doesn't always talk back,
Ignore her,
Leave her to herself.
Leav
How I should remember youLet me try and put things between us to rest,More Like This
Even though we both agreed not to start another mess.
Its better for me to remember you by what made you one of the best,
And forgive myself for all the times I made you detest.
I'll remember you as the sweet voice comforting me through the phone,
But don't remember me as a cancer that wouldn't ever leave you alone
I'll remember you as the warmth in my arms as I say hello,
So don't remember me as the child who cried every time you said goodbye.
Everything started off as an accident maybe,
And maybe it ended because we were both a little too crazy;
I'd tell you stupid things and made you
For meDrown me in your innocence,More Like This
Release me from my guilt,
Set me free from my sins,
Then we'll escape from hell together.
Give me the love I need,
Heal my broken heart,
Make me all brand new,
And I'll live with you forever.
Take away the pain that makes me suffer,
Make me hurt no more,
Leave me feeling free,
Then we can let go of this sorrow.
Create for me a future,
Somewhere we'll be together,
Let me spend my days with you,
And we'll chase tomorrow.
Allow me this embrace,
We'll be intertwined,
I am now apart of you,
Let us sleep where we lay.
Make sure that I smile,
Give me your happiness,
Scare away my demons,
With you I'
Remember wedding?''I do!''More Like This
She said running into a wall.
She fell down.
He came closer to here
and said:
''I do to!''
Slamming his head into her face.
.: Good Day :.More Like This
Good morning, lovely. Could you tell me
How I am supposed to remember what I dream?
Tell me, is it normal to fear them
Should it be normal to embrace them?
Good Afternoon, take this plate away from me.
How do you suppose I attempt to use the same cutlery
That not only shredded chicken, but my own hand?
If you want me to, remove these vivid thoughts from my mind.
I fully intend on making this the happiest day.
You can only understand so much about it.
Please don't shed a tear for me, I wish for you to smile today.
and do with your emotions as you see fit.
I've always told you that I would be true...
Naturally, I'd see that happi
You stole my fragile heart.We'd hit it off just great, I thoughtMore Like This
You played the perfect part
Ensnared all my waking hours
And stole my fragile heart
You tricked me into trusting you
And blindly I believed
All the lies that you had fed to me
I was thoroughly deceived
You hurt me well and truly
With not a thought but to yourself
Our love, if you can call it that
Was a betrayal in itself
The minute I outlived my use
You left me standing there
No goodbye, nor apology
Just a vast pit of despair
You went straight back into her arms
As if nothing had happened
It was just a bit of fun to you
The reason your soul is blackened
It has taken time, but once agai
I am meMy walls are closing inMore Like This
the lights are getting dim
It's becoming colder
While the chill is moving slower
There is no escape
There was no hope
There would be no tears
There shall be no sorrow
Could you ever call me perfect
I am not some sort of genius
Could you call me wonderful
when I am not perfect
Please don't think about it
I don't want to be judged
I would rather just be
I am me.
Don't make me say something else
there is no one else to try
I am myself.
AnalysisIf you wanted to be hugged,More Like This
would you let me do it?
If you wanted to be kissed,
would you ask me to do it?
If you reached for a hand,
would you take mine gently?
If you needed a shoulder,
would you wish to cry on mine?
If you needed to talk
is it me you want to really listen?
If you needed to scream,
would you want me to go along?
If you needed to go,
would you like me to come with you?
If someone falls for you,
would you want it to be me?
Would you be able to want to catch me? Believing
that
hitting the pavement is the better option.
Leads OnBlood red lines crossing my skinMore Like This
A finger down my throat is supposed to make me thin
A slap across the face is the closest we get to love
I feel like a delicate dove
Flying free
Until a bullet comes
Piercing right through me
No one sees what I've become
Crying myself to sleep at night
Knowing nothing in my life is right
But no one will help me or give me love
They say I want attention, they don't see what I've become
I want to keep believing my life will be okay
I want to keep believing I can make it through the day
But then another small thing comes along
So now I sit here, writing this song
This is my good-bye, my ode to lif
FloodWhat happened?More Like This
Where are you?
I can’t see the light anymore
My sight growing dimmer
With every breath I take
With every step you walk away from me
Paranoia
On my toes
Waiting for the downfall
The inevitable crash
Of us
And my sanity
Can’t take any more of this!
I can’t take the pain!
I wish I could find
Shelter from the rain
That floods my soul
With every tear that is shed
Over things that are out of my hands
Yet my fault at the same time
But with every tear I cry
I want to convey to you
My feelings
That have never vanished
Hopelessness
As I realize
That it’s impossible
To do so
Without angering you
And damaging our crumbling relationship
Even more
So I’ll sit
In silence
Letting the tears
Of my heart
Flood the world.
i.l.o.v.e.y.o.uI wish that I could have held on to ourMore Like This
Love, the laughs, the smiles, everything is
Out of sight, out of reach, my world has become
Vacant without you, the promises of
Eternity shattered, I thought that our
Young love would last forever, but I was wrong again,
Our memories will always remain with me, and
Unabated will my feelings remain for you.
Leave Me BehindI punished myself todayMore Like This
Because I needed to
The guilt was eating at me
I didn't know what else to do
You say I don't deserve it
But we both know that's not true
The reason is very clear
I deserve it 'cause I hurt you
Even though I'm scared
To let this friendship end
You're better off this way
I don't deserve to be your friend
So you better run away
Before I change my mind
Run away and leave me
Just leave me behind
Your life will be much better
So you better do it now
I won't blame you for it
That is my solemn vow.
My sufferingI always can tell when someone's downMore Like This
When they've been having a bad day
Even when they put on a fake smile
but nobody realizes when I feel like that
Nobody can tell when I've been having a bad day
Or even recently, when I've been feeling blue
Sure, I put on a fake smile
But true friends should see through that.
They should say, whats wrong, even if its just nothing.
I'm not really mad at them
Or angry at all.
I understand that they have their own problems
But sometimes its nice to hear someone care about me
I want to see someone worry.
I can't remember how to smile like I used to
I'm forgetting more things
and I'm becoming mo
RealizeMore Like This
You told me I was beautiful,
No other compared.
Well that changed fast,
Shows how much you cared.
Now things are different,
I'm nothing to you.
I'd like to tell her,
That soon she'll be nothing too.
But the thing is,
She's not much to you anyway,
Just someone to fill the nights,
Another girl for you to play.
You chose a girl,
Thats everything I'm not.
Blonde, Tanned, Talented,
That hit a soft spot.
She's my age too,
Barely passed Nineteen,
You're trying to be young again,
Or so it would seem.
You claimed to care,
Have respect for me.
Every time you say that,
It makes me angry.
Because if you really did care,
You would
You canAll I want is youMore Like This
All I want is your lips
All I want is your hands on my hips
All I want is to be with you
Can we just lay here?
Can we be forever?
Can we be happy?
Can we just dream?
I need you here
I need your touch
I need your arms around me
I need you
Please say yes
Please say it
Please say everything I need you to
Please say you'll be mine
Don't leave me
Don't hurt me
Don't go away
Don't ignore me
I love you
I love us
I love the way you make me feel
I love knowing you're safe
Make me yours
Make me happy
Make me sing
Make me shine
Please....just be mine... <3
What they dont understandIt's the things they don't understand that get to me the most.More Like This
The way they walk, talk, and think
They own the whole world.
How they believe it is THEIR
Sole opinion
That separates life and reality.
The way when ONE thing goes wrong, it is
Automatically reflected
Back at you. It's the things they don't understand
When they claim you're one way
Because you wore one wrong
Pair of clothes. One wrong
Pair of shoes. One wrong
Way that you dyed your hair.
It's the way they make you
Regret
Being yourself. Just because
You're you. The way they
Can force their problems and
Somehow make them become yours
When you both know, deep
Stand Your Ground lyrics(Spoken) "When I was 5 I learned the glory a knife could do.More Like This
I learned they make cuts. Deep cuts."
Is anybody out there?
Is anybody willing to listen?
I'm calling out for some advice
These scars are memories
Stitches cannot heal
When I was six, I learned what a gun did.
Before then I knew what a fist did,
What going through a wall felt like.
Check my legs,
You'll find the remnants of where the
Upstairs wall was,
Or where,
It ended up I should say.
(It's crystal clear)
Is anybody out there?
Is anybody willing to listen?
I'm calling out for some advice
These scars are memories
Stitches cannot heal
These kids aren't growin
Please StopMy dear friendMore Like This
Please put the knife down
It hurts me too
My dear friend
Please stop the burning
Your beautiful skin
My dear friend
Please don't hit
It makes me cry
Please dear friend
Come here
It's okay to cry
Please dear friend
Let me hug you
I'll never let go
My dear friend
I still love you
I'm not judging
My dear friend
Please pick up
And talk to me
My dear
Just a little less brokenShe walks alone,More Like This
But if you walked beside her,
You'd hear the pieces of her heart,
They sound like bits of broken glass,
As they knock against each other,
They used to hurt,
As they sunk into her chest,
Her lungs still burn sometimes,
And gasp for air,
But now the pieces are in so deep,
It doesn't hurt any more.
Some of the pieces,
Still pierce her skin,
And they're the parts,
That still cause her pain,
Being broken doesn't always hurt,
But everyone can tell,
Because her heart doesn't beat,
Instead the pieces,
Knock together,
As she walks,
And it reminds her,
Of how she got to be that way.
She walks alone,
Because thou
Sta.sh
