Someday You Will Be Loved Ch. 8More Like This
How many months had it been since Horizon? How many months had it been since he sent that voice mail, when he desperately had tried to find some way to apologize to his former commander for what he said? And he had never gotten a reply.
Shepard must hate him now.
Kaidan knew about the mission through the Omega-4 relay, the whole galaxy did by now. The first ship to ever pass through the relay and then come back. They’d destroyed the Collectors. And if he was going to believe the rumors spreading through Alliance soldiers, Markus was no longer with Cerberus.
He left them as soon as his mission to defeat the Collectors was over, just like he said he would on Horizon.
Kaidan hadn’t believed him back then, and now he was paying the price. His friendship with Shepard was ruined because he wouldn’t listen to him. Because he had been stubborn and refused to believe that Markus wasn’t with Cerberus, not really.
He rubbed his forehead, trying to get rid of the migraine h
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and sets the glass down,
too far for Kaidan to get at it again.
His hand is still on Kaidan’s shoulder
and Kaidan is deathly white
and about to faint.
His lips part,
“I must be really drunk,”
and Shepard’s amusement morphs into something close to guilt.
“Sorry about that.
I probably could’ve handled this better.
Garrus told me where he thought you’d be, and…
I just thought I’d stop in.
Kaidan’s still trying to breathe.
He wants to reach out and touch him.
To assure himself that he’s real,
that he’s here.
But he can’t be.
It’s just not possible,
because he’d heard the news,
straight from Anderson’s lips,
the Normandy’s gone
so is the Commander.
Shepard’s fingers are firm and steady on his arm,
his eyes are the gray that Kaidan remembers so well,
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staticky over the intercom,
and in that one word,
I know something's wrong.
"Kaidan, can you...
can you come down here?"
His voice is quiet.
Breathed into the comlink.
And pleading with me.
"I'm coming, Shepard."
I'm already moving,
taking the turns through the hallways towards his quarters.
I don't ask what it is.
I already know.
Everyone on the ship knows.
Shepard's locked himself in his room a grand total of one time,
and that was after the destruction of Earth.
this is Earth all over again.
I tried to go to him before.
In the hours after we'd boarded, I'd went to his room,
only to find it locked tight and refusing to budge.
I'd called his name,
banging on the metal with my fist.
and when that didn't work,
I resorted to
He still didn't answer.
I was worried,
but I stopped trying after a few days.
I knew he'd come around eventually.
And I guess I was right.