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Life of DepressionLiving with a mood disorder makes every day a struggle. A struggle to wake up in the morning, a struggle to get yourself ready for the day, a struggle to maintain relationships – a struggle to smile and mean it. I’ve never been professionally diagnosed, but I know something’s not right. I knew around the beginning of high school. Something isn’t right, isn’t balanced, inside of me. I’ve read enough books to give these thoughts and feelings a name – depression.
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The commercials which say depression hurts everywhere are right. It hurts emotionally, cognitively, physically, and behaviorally. It makes me feel sad and hopeless, lonely and confused, angry and dragged down. It makes me think that no one cares and no one understands, that I can’t handle my life or even myself, and that I don’t have much value. It makes me sluggish and restless, eating too much, and having trouble falling asleep and waking up. It makes me cry spontaneously an
Depression"It's not real" -- It sure as heck feels real. So real it IS my reality on a daily basis.
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"It's just an excuse to get out of doing things that other people have to" -- I'd love to do thing other people are doing, and I'd relish in being happy when I do so.
"You're just a little sad, you'll get over it" -- Depression isn't just 'feeling sad sometimes'... it's feeling sad ALL the time for what seems like no reason at all.
"Just grow up! Everyone is depressed, you just have to deal with it like everyone else!" -- Stop using everyone else to justify your insensitivity to other people's conditions (also, most of the people suffering from depression are adults, you don't get much more 'grown up' than adult).
"You're not suffering from anything, you're just lazy, ungrateful, and being silly" -- Ok, because obviously I LOVE feeling miserable, worthless, and stupid all the time...who wouldn't...?
"Stop using that as an excuse to not do anything." -- If I could manage to do something a
Depression is not a cool fadDo you think depression is cool? You want to be on medication, you want to see a therapist? Do you know what depression is really like?
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Do you enjoy school, do you get good grades? Well now you don't. Concentrating will be difficult, too many thoughts will be whirling through your head for you to keep your mind on the subject. The people in your class are okay, right? You get on with them, you sometimes have a laugh. Not any more you don't - they're talking about you, you're sure of it. They must hate you because they don't sit with you any more. It's hard to talk to people, and also hard to be alone.
What about hobbies? You like drawing, huh? You just can't concentrate hard enough any more, you get upset if it doesn't end up exactly how you want it; you're rubbish, a failure, you will never get anywhere. Conversely, maybe you'll draw more, but the subject matter won't be the same. You might draw things that make people worry for you, or make people talk.
Okay, maybe you don't like dra