Body Speak, Mouth Don't."I need a favour. You got a minute?"More Like This
No. No I don't.
My heart feels ripped out of my chest and trampled on too often.
My ears open to screams in the morning.
My eyes close crying every night.
My mind always turns dreams into nightmares.
My lungs contract too soon for me to catch my breath.
My worries far outweigh my years.
My brain feels overworked, overwrought, so tired.
My stomach cramps every night and I curl up in pain.
My knees weaken often but I'm still standing.
My mouth goes dry and I can't speak.
My hands dampen because I have too much to think about.
My bones feel weaker than they ever have before.
But I don't think it's anything to be worried about, really.
"Sure. How can I help you?"
A letter to Gender.Dear gender;More Like This
For the norms you create, the wars you start, the people you torture and the rules you make,
I strongly dislike you. You and your social normality.
And I decided that I don't want you anymore. Yes, physically it has its perks, but I can't stand the judgment any longer.
I've been male. I've been female. I've been gay. I've been straight.
There is no superior sex. It's a mind game, for God to taste the bitter-sweet irony of our existences.
I don't want the pieces I was born with, yet I don't want the ones I don't have, either. I would love to be sex-less. No markings, no gender.
But that isn't possible, is it?
I am not attracted to a single sex, yet I
What is Homophobia? I know homophobia. I’m only seventeen, but I know what it’s like to be hated for everything I am. I can tell you, but only in your heart. Listen to me, and let me tell you how homophobia took over my life.More Like This
Homophobia is being spit on. I know to always watch out or risk another attack. I know that no one will stand up for me today, that it will just be yesterday all over again. I know that the worst thing to do is speak up. I tried it once: they threw trash instead. So I bite my tongue and hold back the tears. I’ll cry later, after they’ve all gone home, and my mom still hasn’t come to pick me up. I’ll cry in the empty bathroom until she comes; and I’ll go home, fall in my bed, and cry some more. I’ll cry alone as I peel the gum wrappers off of my dress. I’ll cry alone for years because there is no one else to
SpinelessMy mother always told me I was born with four spines. They stay there, side by side, in my ramrod straight back, the reason for my very correct posture. So when my back began to arch, people noticed.More Like This
My parents were first. You look different, they would suppose as I would approach every morning for breakfast. Is something wrong? My mother would question. Are you ill? My father would ask.
I had a gift with the vague and I used it to my only advantage in this scenario. Because telling them the truth would be a lot more devastating. How would I tell them about the fact that my bones, my spine, the very part of me they admired most, was depreciating?
I suppose the trouble with most relationships is to trust someone, knowing that you would willingly lie to them, just to protect them from getting hurt. We all do it, and those of us who claim we don’t, only lie because their lies are smaller. I lied to protect them from what had happened to my bones. Not just my spi
The Artist SyndromeThis work is simply brilliant!More Like This
Says the artist in me.
I'll have it framed twice!
So precious it be...
Says the artist in me,
But what if people hate it?
So precious it be!
I cannot let them take it!
And what if people hate it,
And what if they hate me?
I cannot let them take it
I'll lock it away you see!
And what if they hate me?
A simple lock will not suffice!
I'll lock it away you see.
In a land of frozen ice...
"And that, my dear Mrs. Sutherland, is why I shipped my art homework to Antarctica!"
StrengthKeep your head down.More Like This
Maybe the monsters won't find you.
don't make eye contact.
Hopefully they won't see you.
Don't show emotion.
Try not to cry.
That will just encourage them.
They don't deserve your agony.
EducationEducation?More Like This
See that's what they call it.
But they teach us to do, not to think.
A genius doesn't answer every question perfectly,
A genius questions every answer given.
A system that judges success by the amount of bills you have,
Makes you work to the bone,
Cuts your soul in halves,
Make us seem like a bunch of clones?
Are we nothing more than machines?
Fill in the right answer, nothing more is accepted.
Thrown away if you can't follow instructions,
Is this in efforts in increase production?
Shall we drive the passion away from everything?
When everyone tries only to survive,
Shall we exist solely to die?
A system that completely determines your life.
Wasn't this system meant for us to thrive?
My Argument for Same Sex MarriageSame-sex marriage is a polarized issue that many Americans fear will result in economic, legal, and social repercussions. Gay Marriage has an extensive history in cultures around the world beginning in ancient times and still causes controversy today. However, there is much research showing the long and short term benefits gay marriage has on society. Many people are still uninformed about the history, psychology and sociological effects of one of the greatest debates in modern history.More Like This
Same-sex marriage has its roots in the very beginning of recorded civilization, beginning with Africa. Within African tribal society, barren women would often take other women to be their brides. These 'female husbands' were granted the full rights of a male husband, including damages should the wife share sexual intimacy outside of the marriage. In Egyptian and Mesopotamian cultures, homosexual marriages were recognized as law; proof of this can be
Don't let her whisper your name.I would be lying if I said I forgot.More Like This
Lying, if I said I don't want to feel it again.
It's almost unexplainable.
It's our dance.
I never had to teach.
She never needed to learn.
The synchrony was always perfect.
From the first second to the last one.
Every single time.
A simple touch,
a simple breath,
a simple desire,
and the world would explode.
So we were in a universe apart.
Dancing, an unknown song.
We never rehearsed it, it never went wrong.
It's just like I said.
The synchrony was always perfect.
As if we could feel each other.
As if we were created for each other.
Do you believe in fate?
I don't, but I thought about it.
But don't matter.
We got lost in the middle of the way.
And we just carry on, as if nothing happened.
I admit it.
We never got along well with our mouths open.
We never agree on any decision.
We never take similar lifestyles.
She used to drive me crazy.
In whatever she said.
In whatever she did.
We were totally
I triedI tried to count my scars,More Like This
But I couldn't tell
Where one began
And another ended.
So I tried to count the cuts,
But I couldn't, because
Blood smeared across my skin,
Connecting them like a thin,
Red veil of pain.
And so I cried.
I cried a single tear, because
When I need to cry,
Finally, I sat down,
And put pen to paper,
Or fingers to keys.
And tried to write my emotions.
But I couldn't, because
I don't know how to tell the world
What I feel like,
When I have no right.
I looked from the blood stained tissues,
Across my torn body,
Into my own eyes, reflected perfectly by the mirror before me.
Another tear was pulled from my eyes by gravity.
By this invisible force that makes me
Oh, so, miserable.
The DoctorWhen I was seven, I was diagnosed with emotions.More Like This
"Poor girl." I heard them say. "She'll never survive this one."
I laid with my face towards the ceiling on the cold examination table, listening to them discuss my fate. I felt something breaking in my chest and something burning inside my throat. A small tear slipped down my cheek.
"Doctor! Look at this!" Shrieked my mother, "Something is coming out of her eye."
The doctor rushed over to me and wiped the tear from my cheek. He touched the top of my head as he whispered, "I am so sorry." And then he turned to my mother. "It's a tear. It means that she is sad."
"Sad?" My mother asked inquisitively.
"It's one of her emotions. This doesn't attack the same way that normal diseases do, there are all sorts of different symptoms. Right now, she is sad and the only way that I know how to explain it is that she is feeling down."
"What do you mean by down?"
"Her emotions can best be described as ones that are upwhen she is feeling good, and
Who Needs Friends?Dear Loneliness,More Like This
Will you be my friend?
Because I seem to just be a trend,
That the world has put to bed.
Will you make me smile?
Because Happiness has run a mile,
Just like everything else I need.
Will you help me hope?
Because Optimism is a slippery slope,
When you've seen the world.
Will you make me care?
Because I hate Interest's flare,
In a place too dull for life.
Will you make me content?
Because you're the one that'll prevent,
That which I long for.
Will you make me feel alive?
Because I don't even want to survive,
In a world that cares too much.
Will you make me a saint?
Because I don't deserve a heavenly taint,
Due to the sinner that I have become.
Will you make me your sob-story?
Because you want all of the pride and glory,
Of surviving where your buddy fell.
writing and other ironiesyou used to not be able to write on paper, only on things that don't exist. you used to feel your mind, deluging with thoughts and strings of pretty words and pretty worlds, urging your hands to write down the magic within, but the second you touched a pen, the blank paper was all the ideas you had. you used to bask in the loveliness of writing, feeling the catharsis, feeling beautiful for a moment of time.More Like This
you don't anymore.
today you've gone to write poetry seven times, and have come up blank. the instant you hold a pen, there is flooding words, gushing words, pain and blood and beauty and more blood. that is what your paper has become since you pierced it so sharply. you don't even know you had things to say until you started moving that pen across the page. and now you can't stop. and now you can't stop. and now you can't stop feeling, absolutely feeling, drowning in feeling, bleeding out feeling, bastardizing feeling. there is no silence anymore.
spineless.sometimes i put my handMore Like This
to my back and trace my spine
just to make sure its still there.
i will never grow up,
never be beautiful enough,
never pull that haze of
green smoke into or away
from my chest.
that is your home,
and i regret to say that
i have lost your eviction
im terribly sorry for the
way you still make me bleed
silent screams biting
their way over my tongue;
im terribly sorry,
but how the fuck can i
stop loving you when i cant
forget you long enough to look
in the mirror and see you in the
you tell me in no (un)certain words
that i am not anything to you,
and i just nod and smile,
just clutch my insides and cry
when you cant see me
because what the fuck else
is there to do.
i am not a bashful soul
i am not afraid to grab you
by the wrists and not let
go until you love me back
but if i had any less backbone
id be dead.
Dead InsideI want to be a dead bodyMore Like This
Like the ones you see on TV
Choked, stabbed or shot to death
Is how I want to be
I know this may sound morbid
Suicidal or just plain wrong
But it's really how I feel
I'm singing my death song
No one can save me now
I'm planning to rid the world of me
As I'm taking my final breath
Depression is all you see
In my final moments
All the good, happy things I've done
Were overtaken by my sadness
Depression finally won
My lonliness went unnoticed
My cutting was ignored
Now I'm dead and you're sorry
You ever left me alone with that cord.
The ForgottenErase me from your memoryMore Like This
Forget about my existence
In twenty years you wont even
Recognize my name in front of you
Im sorry love, its the truth
I am of no importance
Erase me from your memory
And live your life carefree
Its what everybody does
And its their right
Im sorry love, its the truth
For I am just bothersome
Wounds of the heart dont heal
People keep scratching them open
Its what everybody does
And its not something weird
Im used to being forgotten
For I leave a weak impression
Wounds of the heart dont heal
Especially not of a heart broken many times
So forget about meeting me
Live your life to the fullest
Im used to being forgotten
So this one, I will handle it
True FriendRemember the cityMore Like This
Remember the town
Remember the place
That we hung around
We ran through the rain
Laughing and skipping
We came back inside
Giggling and dripping
So many years later
We've grown far apart
But we somehow came back
And gave a new start
Our laugher resumed
and so did our play
but one day you promised
that even to this day
"Nothing will come between us
I'll always be there
You will always be my friend
and you know I'll always care"
With a smile and a wink
You gave me a hug
And there in your arms
I was so safe and so snug
But little did I know
that was the last time I'd see you
For when the knews was spoken the next day
There was no doubting it was true
Have You Forgotten?Have you forgotten that I'm always here?More Like This
Forgotten that I hold you to my heart, so dear?
Have you forgotten the secrets we share?
Forgotten how much I really do care?
Remember I promised, to you I'd never lie,
That we'd be friends till the day I die.
Remember the memories we share together,
Which developed a knot that never can sever.
I remember; together we were so carefree,
That I would get lost in you and you in me.
I remember; through our toughest trials,
We could depend on the other for endless smiles.
Why would you think that this could end?
I could never forget about you, my friend.
Why would you think; we're growing apart?
Don't you know the imprint you left on my heart?
No, you have not forgotten but I did,
I meant to share these feelings, but I hid.
You need to know that our friendship is true.
What I want to say is that I love you.
I'm WorthlessMore Like This
Don't tell me I'm worthless
Don't tell me I'm nothing
You can't change me
Because I used to be something
I used to be
But I lost my ways
Instead of helping
You double my pain
Don't tell me I'm worthless
I already know it
Lilith My QueenLilith My Queen:More Like This
In darkness she called me
My life she did bind.
Lilith my Queen;
My soul was consigned...
By blood we were sealed
By hatred defined!
We killed in her name
For this angel of mine.
Her wings were the darkest
They bore chains of steel.
Through darkness my wounds
And my scars she did heal.
In nightmares she whispered
They broke me in time.
She tore out my heart
And ripped out my mind.
All through the black winter
This one frosted night
The heavens did weep
For the death of the light...
-Chen Yuan Wen, 10th March 2012
Seventeen CandlesMore Like This
Seventeen candles mark the day
Nine months since you've gone away
Quickly you came and quickly you went
All your days have been spent
There are no more tears and sad goodbyes
Only truths and fading lies
One stands out among the rest
One that surely is the best
We will miss you, this is true
For you, are the sparrow, the one who flew
Beauty and the BeastLong ago lived a callous princeMore Like This
who cared for no one but himself.
One day an old woman asked for shelter,
and the prince slammed the door in her face.
Suddenly the woman revealed
that she was really a beautiful witch.
She put a curse on the prince
they he his outside would reflect his inside.
Until you find someone to love
and to be loved in return
you will remain a beast
for the rest of your days.
I was seventeen when my father
set out to find his fortune.
When he returned
He told me of his travels.
He said that he made a grave mistake
and that I would have to go and live with a beast
Because it was for my papa.
When the old man said
he had a daughter
I didn' think she would be so beautiful
No one could ever love
someone as horrendous
as a beast like me.
I shouldn't even try.
She's just my prisoner
and nothing more
He's so shy,
and not nearly as bad as he thinks
Under those looks
is a heart made of gold.
Truly, I wish
he would let me in
She's so kind
10 Things I Wish I Could Tell You1.More Like This
Didn’t you ever find it creepy while we dated?
You were 14 and I was 17 at the time.
That’s a pretty large age gap.
Thinking back, it’s pretty fucking weird that I was ever in love with you in the first place.
A few years older, and I would have been a pedophile.
So I’m kind of glad you dumped me for no reason ‘cause
I don’t have the heart to tell people
Oh it’s not what you think!
It’s not a three year difference – it’s a…2 ½ year difference. Not the same…
Don’t you ever find it weird that we kept our relationship so low-key?
None of our closest friends knew we were ever together.
We would talk a hell of a lot about each other with them
But we never once mentioned we were dating.
We only met with each other after school
And I would tell my parents that I was going to meet up with “frien
In LoveIn LoveMore Like This
The way I blush when I think of you,
The way I smile when I remember your words-
The way I almost wanna pass out when someone mentions you-
The way I wanna go to bed early,
Just so I can dream of you-
The way I wanna hold your hand,
The way I write your name on my schoolpapers-
The way I wish I shared every class with you,
The way my heart beats faster,
And the way I feel when I imagine you with me-
I'm just like every other girl,
Who's ever wanted to be held by someone else-
And I'm just like every story,
Hoping for a love-filled ending-
Because I'm human too,
And I somehow still feel-
After all I've been through,
I still feel love-
So we look like Sid and Nancy,
Walking together hand-in-hand-
And I couldn't have been happier,
The night we met-
Already sharing our life stories,
I'm not alone anymore-
And I love you,
And you love me too...
you can't make them love you.He is beautiful, new, unexplored. He has wanted to kiss her ever since they met one week ago and fell prey to helpless chemistry.More Like This
Dont, she says, moving her hands in a subconscious yes pattern along his arm as he rubs his cheek against hers. You dont even know my favourite colour. The wind cuts through her thin jacket, and his chest is so warm.
Red, he guesses, improbably correct. His ears are cold.
And how many dogs do I have?
Two, he says, and she laughs wildly at his luck as he nuzzles her neck.
Im trying to save you, she tells him, pushing fruitlessly against his broad shoulders. So you dont wa
i was kissed by color before i was borni have a thing for butterflies -More Like This
they were tattooed across my skin
when i left my mother's womb.
they rest between my ribs
and the hollow of my throat
i was kissed with colors before i was born.
you were kissed by h a p p i n e s s
and embraced by Eden -
so you could find refuge
in the color under my skin.
instead of a heart,
my blood beats with butterfly wings.
and they glow when i smile
or when my cheeks forget to blush.
in the place of the heart the butterflies took away.
so your smile-stained lips,
and my butterfly-tattooed skin
met under despair
when it was well
and every time you tell
anyone that i'm yours
the spaces between my ribs g l o w
with the timid smiles
OC Biography sheetBeginningsMore Like This
What role does this character play?(Storybased):
What inspired you to create this character?:
What does this character represent to you, if anything?:
What goals do you have for this character?:
Pronunciation of their name(first, middle name(s) and last):
Meaning of their full name:
Why did their parents name them this?:
If not parents, what decided their name?:
Why did you, their creator name them this?:
Do they enjoy these/this nickname(s)?:
History behind nickname(s):
Before going on with this sheet, take a moment to briefly describe this character as a whole, a character snapshot:
Realm/Universe(Real world, an anime verse, etc.):
Share about this realm(What's considered normal/average/within sanity for this realm/verse):
How old they appear:
Any history behind their sex
Love itI feel your hands in my hair.More Like This
I feel your breath on my neck.
I feel your body pressed so close to mine.
I feel your lips on my throat.
I feel your hands move to my back and your lips work their way up to mine.
I feel you and I love it.
I hear you say you love me.
I hear you whisper my name.
I hear you tell me I'm the only one for you.
I hear your breath in my ear.
I hear your soft snores as I fall asleep.
I hear you and I love it.
I see you as I run into your arms.
I see your face break through my world of darkness.
I see you fight away my fears.
I see you wipe away my tears.
I see you're in love with me.
I see you and I love it.
I taste your lips.
I taste your tongue.
I taste your throat as I kiss it.
I taste your love.
I taste your passion.
I taste you and I love it.
I smell your colone as I hold you.
I smell your shampoo as I hug you.
I smell your toothpaste as I kiss you.
I smell your excitement as you cuddle me.
I smell the smell I've been waiting so long to smell.
I smell you and
Points giveaway FINISHED + Extra giveaway finishedTWITTER | TUMBLR | COMMISSIONSMore Like This
A little early, since I'm gonna busy later...
OKAY HERE ARE THE WINNERS
100 go to :iconstariaria:
and 100 go to :iconchiakikawaii:
AND SURPRISE!!! YOU STILL HAVE A CHANCE OF WINNING 50
Guess the pokemon I'm thinking of RIGHT NOW and you will win 50 points!
First one to guess right wins!
:iconJashinsBiatch: won this one, and very fast too, hahhaa
Thank you all for taking part in this! :iconamgtouchplz:
IM BORED SO LETS DO THIS
I will give out 100 to one of the people who faves this journal
and 100 to one of the people who comments on this journal,
so it is in your interest to both comment AND fave this journal.
And watch me, since i will probably do this again some time
Drawing MediaHello folks!!More Like This
Today I've decided to create a post about the media I use for my drawings (to stop all that spam in my inbox with the same and the same questions)
I will also present two new tutorials very soon. I'll share a secret to tease you a little: It will be about the postcards >w< and coloring
1. White Nights Watercolors for backgrounds:
2. Sanford Prismacolor premier pencils for details:
3. Too Copic Multiliners for fancy lineart:
4. Sakura Micron Archival Pigment Ink for colorful linearts:
5. Winsor & Newton watercolour media:
6. Too Copic sketch markers for coloring:
7. Too Copic Opaque White for highlighting:
8. Faber-Castell mechanical pencils 0.35, 0.7 & Pentel 0.5 and a very very good erasers - MILAN:
9. Various glitters to make my postcards and drawings more sparkly:
10. Various textures for postcard backgrouds:
11. Various Sakura brand pens for better detailing:
ObsessionIt takes 14 minutes and twelve seconds to walk to your home from mine every day. Your mother never fails to smile at me when she opens the door. I never fail to notice that it doesn't reach her eyes anymore.More Like This
You leave your door open an exact two point three centimeters. I don't think you do it on purpose. There is something wrong with the wood that has left it that way. I pause one foot outside the door and listen to you cough, trying to determine how sick you feel today. I hate that every time I think you are particularly ill, I am always right.
Six months, seventeen days and fourteen hours. That is how long its been since the doctors told us you had an illness. I sat there with your parents, listening to a man who said words like 'terminal' and 'leukemia', and counted the number of times he said 'patient' as if it were your name (Seventeen).
The blood bank says one unit is four hundred and fifty milliliters and I watch as they put the needle into my ar
SeaSoaring above and serving the purpose of just being. Fly away, dive into the ocean and create a powerful current of ocean spinning at your will. Night is soon to fade. Will no one see your feat? The sun rises and the sea calms only you will ever know what you have done.More Like This
SomethingJust to say.More Like This
Just to see.
Just to hear.
What will never be.
Just to not
Just to look.
Just to know.
Just what's took.
For nothing known.
But never alone.
In one's mind.
Find it here.
All this time.
Soon, it will fade.
Soon will have no meaning.
Soon have no sound.
To be a stranger,
In what's around.
I will get it.
Then forget it.
I always do.
Was never true.
I never knew,
And then thoughts,
Fly and sore.
One's mind and thoughts,
Are never the same.
Something I have never been is sane.
What sounds, looks different.
To have no rhyme,
Is a waste of my time.
PlaguedThere are some things I want to know, when I stay up late at night. I want to know what the world has come to when all memories of childhood are soon followed by sad ones. I want to know why I don't remember but simply know occurred. Why do I know that the human race has wronged me so horribly that whenever I look back on my childhood the happy memories to the horrid ones exist one to five-hundred? I ready myself for sleep, but only find that I want to vomit out all of the bad feelings that swirl around deep in my stomach. The memories invade my mind, not asking for residence, but taking it by force.More Like This
Is it normal for humanity to become so wretched that even the thought of it keeps me from eating? I'd rather be friends with the toilet than the outside world. I wonder who sees what's really out there sometimes. I wonder too much, I cannot focus. I cannot see. No longer to I recognize the difference between one person and the next. Faces are lost in one giant blur and as I realize this, e
losing my religionyou're making me lose my faithMore Like This
those who claim they believe
in the same God as me
He is all-loving, His son respected everyone
and that's how we're supposed to be
yet you judge so quickly
those who love someone of the same gender
those with different skin color
those who have different beliefs
when did you become so perfect?
you say you believe in the same God as me
Well it's about time you prove it
you're making me question my faith
you who say 'there is no God' or 'prove it'
over and over again
maybe I can't prove He exists
but can you prove He doesn't?
let everyone believe what they want
and respect those who respect you
A Fork in the RoadChoices, choices, everywhere,More Like This
life is truly so unfair.
To either move on from this place,
or to remain here, at your pace.
At first we were on the same old track,
but now there is something we both lack.
The emotions between us are now neutral,
the feeling of neutral is now mutual.
So right now, I think we should go,
since we've already been so high, and sunk so low.
We are sick and tired of each other,
so now, let's not, stay together.
Let's both go our separate ways,
and live, apart, our future days.
I truly loved you, and you loved me,
but sometimes things, just aren't meant to be.
Just know, that you are still one of a kind,
and that you, are truly, hard to find.
Even if we are, now apart,
you will remain forever, inside my heart.
frozen.frozen;More Like This
entranced by that subtle gaze
livened by the world that I see there
living in a moment
that never existed.
living in a world
I deceive myself forevermore,
unable to escape
my own lie.
The Blank PageIt's a fire,More Like This
or a war,
it's a crane,
an old lore,
It's a poem
or a story,
in a hurry.
It's a song,
it's a light,
is it wrong?
Is it right?
It's in my mind,
it's in my life.
Something to find,
something to slice.
Something like breathing,
a sort of deep feeling,
something I know inside of my soul,
something so new, something so old.
It's the blackened moonless night,
it's a day, joyous and bright.
It's the calling of a million voices
screaming right at you.
It's the weight of oh so many choices,
the question asking "Who?"
It's a vision,
it's a wonder,
past the thunder
and the roar
past the cry
I feel it running through my veins!
Give me the wheel! Pass me the reins!
How my finger tips are itching with the thought!
Oh my mind will never rot!
As long as these blank pages,
-a wonder through the ages-
continue to let me find
inspiration deep inside.
ForgottenI am the voice for the muteMore Like This
And the eyes for the blind
I am the fighter for the weak
And the protest for the meek
I'm the ears for the deaf,
The hope where none is left
And the love where it's been long forgotten
One Thousand TearsOne thousand wordsMore Like This
cannot describe how I feel inside;
cannot describe my fears, my anxiety,
the threats that are opposed to everything
that I hold dear.
One thousand tears
cannot tell you how serious this is;
cannot reveal my thoughts of this
or make you realize
that we are losing.
One thousand minutes
cannot save this thing that we have;
cannot fight away the despair
or give us back the time we lost,
but you can.
Only our love
is strong enough to save us;
only hard work and time spent between us
can straighten our path that time and misunderstandings have bent.
Only our love.