Blank PagesMy minds in a state of stasis, on an empty stage I'm facelessMore Like This
My bulbs in need of replacement, and I don't think I can take this.
The imagination is an oasis, it helps me swim to higher places.
Each day passes by like ages, as I slave away for wages
Open heart in broken cages, my only friends are blank pages.
Echoa spectre walks the coral reef, tonightMore Like This
hidden midst the crip azure
woad, a field so frozen it seemed pure
came calling for me
broke the spine of jupiter
so bled my memory; the dripping styx
blue blanket o'er the understory
nothing that i hoped would grow will be
came calling for you
one last time before i fell asleep
equationsin the movies, the kid who sits alone at lunch always ends up being a hero. but you wouldn't know; you've never seen a movie, your father makes minimum wage and your mother went careening through a windshield when an off-duty cop went too fast through a red light. you wonder if any of them would care, but the way they step over you like broken glass, the way the lockers punch back, convinces you otherwise.More Like This
this is not a movie. this is walking unnoticed like a beggar, as your existence scrapes like leftover change from the floorboards you've slept on ever since the bank told your family you'd be paying off your dead mother's debt until you're 30. they took your bed away.
some nights, when it rains, you can hear the lightning screaming her name in thunder cracks. sometimes the raindrops beat down and tell you about her in morse code.
this morning i saw you in the hallways, smiled at you. as if it would make you feel any less alone. you returned the insincerity with a wax smile. it
The Watercolor DreamerOn the bedroom walls,More Like This
a brighter afternoon. In the
she bled a cicada's song,
a sultry spring day,
into the heavens.
Her brush disembodied
the equinox, dreaming
the inconsistencies of space
through the walls,
of technicolor worlds.
When she finished,
the room sang
with trebles of cremated
burned with colors from
kerosene. There are
archaic poems sprawled
on the bedposts, planets
hiding in the closet.
curled deep into
of brighter days.
beyond these railroadstrains curtsy past the windowMore Like This
but the tracks lead nowhere
the frigid airs of winter
bide our time,
but the trams
the brevity of touchstatic eyes;More Like This
the consciousness of
enclosed in the pages
of a fable,
we reach out
and fingers intertwine,
pushing past the haze.
briefly, hands extend,
gracing a fable;
exhaling into the
smokey twilight, breathing
white ghosts: bleached
gasps that turn to words
and words to memoirs, though
i was never a child
Standing aloneAlone,More Like This
i stand, again.
Together, they stand,
hand in hand, they stand,
he stands, alone,
they stand, in unity,
But as usual,
i stand, again.
Waiting for him,
to stand with me,
together, we'll stand, hand in hand,
Do you?You think you know me, but you don't.More Like This
You think you care, but you don't.
Because you don't know how much i cry, do you?
You don't know how much i lie, do you?
You don't see how much i hurt,
you don't catch me when i fall,
you don't see the pain i see,
or taste, or touch, or feel.
You told me you loved me, but you didn't.
You thought you cared, but you didn't.
And now you know how much i cry, do you?
and now you know how much i lie, do you?
And now you know how much i hurt,
will you catch me when i fall?
And now you know the pain i see,
and taste, and touch, and feel.
I'm 'fine'I look back,More Like This
and all i see,
are faces, none looking at me.
I walk alone,
that's what i like,
but i disguise my anger,
Leave my friends behind,
see the day go by,
and i'll lie,
They don't see, what i've done,
what i'll be, what i see.
When sleeves go up,
and wrists aren't clean,
they'll see, eventually.
That although i walk alone,
i do not walk in peace,
my thoughts destroy my every need.
Although i say, i'm angry,
i'm just sad, and tired of being me.
Although i lie,
they'll see, eventually, i will be.
The girl i used to be,
so happy, and free,
And even when i'm not,
they'll ask me,
and i'll be fine.
Fine, all the time,
until it's too late,
when fine means nothing,
and goodbye is said.
DrowningDrowning in thoughts,More Like This
Drowning her sadness,
and sorrow away,
till she'll be gone,
too late, today.
Tomorrow she'll smile,
as she says goodbye,
meaning it forever,
seeming she is fine.
take it all back,
her anger she hides,
inside she might crack.
Leaves crunch, under her feet,
her makeup smears her face,
her tears dry upon her cheeks,
as she walks from the school for the last time.
She smiles as she holds his hand,
for the last time they'll kiss,
she'll smile again,
but death be her wish.
I'm sorry, she'll write,
upon the pink papers,
'im so sorry' she cries,
as she jumps.
Death and mourning,
fills tomorrows paper,
tears fill her mothers eyes,
death is her taker.
Broken DreamsYou and herMore Like This
Her and you
With this picture
I want us to be together
But it's always
Her with her
And that smile
My hopes and dreams
Shot out of the sky
Like a newborn bird
Just learning to fly
I see you with her
And look ok
You're tearing me apart
No one knows
The DreamMy deepest wishMore Like This
You and Me
Will never come true
Her and You
That's how it is
Never will it be
Me and You
Shall never be
The simple gift
That will never
The simple wish
That will never
The simple dream
That will always be
Ruined DayTwo to OneMore Like This
Well this sucks
One day together
And the next apart
One day perfect
Next is ruined
My perfect dream
Of us together
Isn't perfect anymore
One main part
It`s missing the love
I want to share
If only you could see
How much I hurt
But my life
Is my life
Can't go blaming
For my mistakes
My day may be ruined
But my life doesn't have to be
It could be
Love vs. HateNever did I thinkMore Like This
I could handle the pain
Deep within my heart
I have strengthened
In my heart
The steel walls
Are growing fast
Then you come
With one single glance
You break them down
I don't think I'm ready
To let another in
Or to love again
My clueless heart
Being bested by
A single smile
My stupid mind
Putting only him
In my dreams
Must I suffer again
Because of my ignorance
Because of my stupidity
Look what you have done to meLook, look what you have done,More Like This
Look at what you have turned me into,
Look at what you have made.
Why do you reject me?
Why do you hate me?
What have I done wrong?
I never used to be like this you know,
I used to be happy,
I used to be cheerful.
But you changed me somehow
I thought I was strong enough to resist your power,
I see I was wrong.
Your influence over me was too strong
You changed me, how I act and think.
I can't control it now.
I'm always sad,
Just like you.
I wish for death,
Just like you.
I want to go back,
But I can't.
Your ways are now mine,
They are forever embedded in my mind,
And I can't fight them.
You have taken over me.
You have created a new me,
But yet you hate me.
CryWhy, why do you make me feel like this?More Like This
I always look forward to talking to you,
But I always end up in tears.
It is not because you have hurt me
Sad something mean or nasty
But because you say something nice.
I don't know why but
I end up crying.
Nothing can make me hate you,
Not anything mean you say to me
Not anything that could hurt me
Or the people I love,
Just nothing will,
Even though you have tried to get me to hate you.
None of that seems to hurt,
But when you say something nice
It seems to hurt,
Like I'm being stabbed,
Stabbed with a blade of Emotion.
Sadness, loneliness, pain, happiness, love
All at once.
It makes me cry 'til I can't cry anymore.
Then later, even though I have nothing to cry about,
I think back then cry again.
Even listening to the music you sent me makes me cry, or want to.
Well I just want you to know
I still care for you no matter what you,
Say, do or think
Your my friend and that's all that matters to me.
Emotional SicknessEach word you say,More Like This
Like another stab in my heart.
Each day we talk,
Fills my emotional sickness.
I can't stand it anymore,
I want to scream at you,
Yell out all the pain I feel,
Everything I want to tell you,
But I can't.
I can't because I care for you.
It's easier to just keep it inside,
Cause telling you would hurt you.
I cannot and will not hurt you.
If I did, it would kill me.
Forever AloneEven though you are near meMore Like This
I feel so alone.
Even though you are talking to me
I feel so alone.
Even though I have many friends
I feel so alone.
Even though my family is close
I feel so alone.
Even though I talk with you
I feel so alone.
Now suddenly I realise that no matter what happy thoughts of us being together i think of,
I will forever be alone.
SilencedIf you slit my throat, I wouldn't blame you for itMore Like This
But after meeting you, I'll never be the same for it
Because if I could find words to describe what you've done
It would not be easy writing, and to read would not be fun
There'd be a multitude of adjectives, and a metric ton of verbs
There'd be an insane amount of description though some odd chosen words
You probably couldn't keep up to what I was trying to depict
But it's odd, because I need all the stress that you inflict
Because at the same time, I love all you inflict
You're absolutely amazing, and that's a large understatement
And seeing you smile is like announcing engagement
Everything I said sounds incredibly dumb
But when I see your eyes, my whole world goes numb
Everything freeze frames except for you and me
But you in slow motion is everything that I see
It's extremely weird to have feelings that you've never had before
Once you thought those days were over, but now they're back for more
It's like a mix of butterflies and a
UnrequitedSomething's embracing me, and I don't know whyMore Like This
My heart won't stop beating, even though i want to die
I hide behind a fake smile every time I want to cry
And my heart breaks more and more with each and every goodbye
I always got told that it'd all work out
And they always reminded me not to pout
But what they didn't know, what I couldn't explain
Was exactly how much, and the level of pain
That me, and I alone, had always had to go through
Everytime I close my eyes, all I can see is you
Your deep, dark eyes, were like the farthest point in a river
You always warmed my heart, but you could still make me shiver
You were always the bow just right for my quiver
When you stole my heart was the only time you weren't a giver.
I wish it wrong, I want to deny, but sadly it's true
From the dreamy hellos, to heartbreaking goodbyes, I'm madly in love with you.
HindsightYou know what's weird about hindsight, honey?More Like This
When you look back on things, it's always 20/20.
I can't believe I didn't see it for years and years
I don't know how I didn't find the hidden tears
All of those smiles, all of those lies
I never really noticed your arm suddenly had some more lines
Just like a normal person, I thought it was your cat
Because every time that I came over, the damn thing attacked
There was always something subconciously warning my heart
That there was something about you that was tearing apart
Ignoring it, I went along assuming you were fine.
Not knowing every day for you was a very thin line
You never acted as if
Somebody had you miffed
The most upset I ever you was when you were standing stiff
And even that, I just believed you were cold
Everyone thought you could handle any scold
Not knowing that the insults people gave you were growing like mold
I swear on my life I've never met someone so bold.
As to deal with all that pain, and not say a thing
PrecedenceI always used to feel like there was a stake through my heartMore Like This
And there was always a thought that this was fake from the start
Seeing that gleam in your eyes and thinking it's not real
Was something that could numb me, but yet I could feel
All the burn through my being, like the worst conflagration
Whenever you "sort-of" laughed, I always felt the implication
That something was wrong, and I couldn't see what,
The knife wasn't there, but I could feel the cut.
Not really sure what to do, I tried distracting myself
But just trying to ignore it was just impacting my health
My emotional being was stranglulated and shattered
And behind my fake smile, my mind was complicated and battered.
If I tried to explain it to anyone how I felt inside
It'd be an emotional rollercoaster that they're not tall enough to ride
I want to run away, but yet I can't hide
Knowing I don't make you happy just kills me inside
I saw the smile on your face every time that he came around
Knowing you were that happy sto