Five Times Thorin Forgot to Be Majestic...1. HiccupsMore Like This
Bilbo tugged his coat more tightly about his small frame and shivered, more from nerves than the chill.
It was a mere week into the journey – they had not even reached the furthermost borders of the Shire yet – and already he was beginning to feel a twinge of doubt about this quest.
The dwarves were pleasant enough. Fili and Kili’s relentless curiosity had subsided into boisterous, youthful over-familiarity. Ori had shyly made several attempts at conversation, as had Balin and Bombur. Bofur chatted freely to him as if he had known him forever, unthinkingly sharing his supplies of tobacco with the Hobbit as soon as Bilbo confessed he had forgotten his. Oin, Gloin, Dwalin and Nori more or less ignored him and Bifur contented himself by making happy mumbling noises and waving whenever he saw the hobbit.
The only one that made him uncomfortable was Thorin.
Bilbo cast an uneasy eye across the fire towards the leader of their company. The dwarf prince was sat idl
20 Rules of Thorin and Company 20 Rules of Thorin and CompanyMore Like This
1. Despite having a name Bilbo Baggins shall always be referred to as ‘the Hobbit’ or ‘Burglar’.
2. Thorin’s speeches are majestic and must be adhered to at any point in time.
3. Balin must always be the one to tell stories of the past.
4. When the Hobbit states that you have parasites it is wise to always play along.
5. Kili and Fili are never to be separated. Ever.
6. Trolls cannot be reasoned with. They are half-wits.
7. Kili and Fili are not to watch the ponies. Ever.
8. Elves are not appropriate company. The only time an elf may appear in dwarvish speak is in the context of an insult. For example, tree shagger is most appropriate.
9. Bofur is the ultimate good guy, no matter what people might say about dwarves.
10. Do not take Bofur’s hat. Under any circumstances. Ever.
11. Do not take Thorin's sword. Under any circumstances. Ever. Unless you like being cut in half.
12. Troll hoards stink. End of story. De