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Human male demonstrates extraordinary skill in traditionally masculine physical activity (call class: fencing, firefighting, jet-pack racing, jumping motorcycle over shark tank)
Human male faces mystery opponent wearing light body armor and helmet that covers their entire head.
Human male protagonist is beaten by mystery opponent.
Mystery opponent removes helmet to disclose tertiary gender characteristics that designate opponent to be human female.
Human male is chagrined but intrigued.
Chimpanzee throws banana at human male's cranium.
ERROR * ERROR * ERROR
Unrecoverable application error
“Wh . . . what? What does that mean? I'm rebooting this damn thing.”
INT. DAY. - a small but trendy coffee shop. A chimpanzee dressed as a barista swings from the ceiling lights.
HUMAN FEMALE WITH LIGHTLY PIGMENTED SKIN AND LOW BODY MASS
I wish there were someone out there for me.
HUMAN MALE WITH SYMMETRICAL FEATURES INDICIATIVE OF HIGH TESTOSTERONE
He may be closer than y