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▼: YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY EITHER VERY HAPPY OR YOU KNOW ME.
▼: ALRIGHT. WHO IS THIS?
▲: oh, geez. we are such good buddies, and you can't even tell me from every other anonymous zingled stranger?
▲: i'm crushed. you are killing me here.
▼: AT LEAST IT IS ONLY YOU AND NOT ANY OF THE OTHER RETARDED HUMANS WHO SEEM SO FOND OF THIS SITE
▼: I JUST GOT ONE WHO THOUGHT I WAS A "BRITTNEY", WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT IS.
▲: you definitely have a "brittney" vibe going on, karkat.
▼: I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT IS.
▲: it's a name! a very manly and sophisticated human name.
▲: for only the manliest of sophisticates.
▼: OH. I AM GLAD THAT SHE PLACED MY PHYSIOLOGY CORRECTLY THEN.
▼: BECAUSE IT IS VERY MANLY.
▼: MAYBE SHE IS NOT THE DUMBEST HUMAN.
▲: i bet it totally is.
▲: not all humans are dumb, dude!
▼: HAHAHA, OH YOU HAVE TO BE SHITTING ME.
▼: I HAVE TO LISTEN TO THE MORONIC DRIBBLE THAT SLOWLY DRIPS FROM YOU AND THOSE OTHER STUPID WRIGGLERS ALL THE FUCKING TIME.
▼: THE ONLY ONE WHO SEEMS TO HAVE ANY HOPE OUT OF THE LOT OF YOU IS THAT ROSE GIRL.
▲: are you really talking about things dripping from me? because, uhhh. that is a weird way to word it.
▲: oh yeah, rose is super smart!
▼: GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE RAIN AND DEBRIS CHUTE, YOU DUMB GRUBFUCK.
▲: sorry! it is this site, man. it is infecting my brain with dirtiness.
▼: I GUESS SO. YOU'RE PROBABLY THINKING ABOUT PAILS RIGHT NOW AREN'T YOU.
▼: YOU ARE SICK.
▲: what? no way!
▼: YOU TOTALLY ARE!
▲: pails are still your kind of thing. i am certainly not thinking of pails.
▼: WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? I'M NO PERVERT. NOT LIKE YOU. YOU AND YOUR RAIN AND LEAF COATED THINK PAN.
▲: no, i wasn't calling you a pervert! i was just saying that pails are a dirty troll thing... if i was having gross thoughts right now they would not be at all related to pails or anything in the bucket family period.
▲: wait, why are we still even talking about this?
▼: BECAUSE YOU WENT THERE.
▼: TALKING ABOUT SOMETHING THAT WASN'T DIRTY AND THEN MAKING IT SO.
▼: I SEE HOW IT IS.
▲: well, okay, i am going to take it somewhere else then.
▲: how what is?
▼: YOUR BRAIN IS CONSTANTLY GOING TO DIRTY PLACES WHILE YOU CHAT IT UP WITH ME.
▲: no, dude, come on! that is not even true at all.
▼: YOU ARE A SICK PERVERT, GETTING OFF ON MY WORDS LIKE THAT.
▲: yes. okay, you totally caught me. that is so a thing i do.
▼: PROBABLY TWISTING THEM TO FIT INSIDE YOUR TWISTED KIDDY POOL OF DESPAIR.
▼: I KNEW IT
▼: SOLLUX OWES ME TEN BOONBUCKS.
▲: i was being sarcastic, but if you are getting paid for it... uhhh, great.
▲: anyway, geez, you are distracting me here!
▼: FUCK YOU.
▲: just shut up, okay? i need to ask you something.
▼: OK. SPILL IT.
▲: have you talked to dave recently?
▲: it is kind of super important that i find him!
▼: NOT REALLY NO. IS THIS ONE OF THE JOHNS THAT HAS TAKEN MR. IRONIC FOR A MATESPRIT?
▲: i... no. what? no.
▲: is that really a thing that happens?
▼: HAHA I MET ONE YESTERDAY THAT WAS TOTALLY PAILING YOU DUDE.
▲: oh my god!
▼: HE EVEN STOPPED CHATTING TO PAIL IT UP.
▲: whatever!! i do not need to know these things.
▼: OH, I THINK YOU DO.
▼: YOU NEVER KNOW.
▼: THAT COULD BE YOUR FUTURE.
▼: MAKING DISGUSTING WRIGGLERS WITH COOLKID THERE.
▲: no, no it could not be! listen, i just have to find him so i can give him an apparently life saving french kiss!!!
▼: THAT, RIGHT THERE
▲: it is not even a sexual thing.
▲: at all.
▼: YOU ARE TOTES PAILING HIM
▼: OR YOU WANT TO
▼: I CAN SEE IT IN YOUR FUCKING TEXT
▲: karkat, just... shut up, okay.
▲: no you can't!
▼: YES I CAN
▲: my text is so totally opaque when it comes to feelings, man.
▼: IT HAS PERVADED THE ENTIRE TEXT TO WAFT UNDER MY NOSE
▲: uughhh. if you are just going to taunt me about totally untrue things, i will just get going!
▼: DO IT
▼: I BET YOU WO'T
▲: i so will!
▼: NO YOU WON'T
▲: i bet you will cry if i do.
▼: YOU ARE DUMB AND I WOULD NOT MISS YOU.
▼: NOT EVEN THE TINIEST BIT.
▲: no, come on! you will miss me so much!
▼: I'M BEING SERIOUS.
▲: because we are buddies karkat.
▼: TOTALLY SERIOUS.
▼: SERIOUSLY SERIOUS.
▲: well, if you really won't miss me, then i guess i have no choice.
▲: you are breaking my heart with all this seriousness.
▼: OH JEGUS
▼: YOU ARE SO WHINY
▲: i am noooooooot.
▼: THIS HUMAN SARCASM WORKS WONDERS
▼: YOU ARE TOO.
▲: am not! and you are shitty at sarcasm.
▲: it is just a sad thing to watch.
▼: OH REALLY? I BET YOU CAN'T SPOT ME BEING SARCASTIC BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT I WAS SERIOUS.
▼: WHICH I WAS NOT.
▼: SO YOU ARE THE ONE WHO SUCKS AT SARCASM.
▲: yes, i am the worst at sarcasm ever.
▼: I HATE YOU
▲: are you coming on to me?
▼: NO. NOPE. NUH UH.
▲: well, those three refusals are so totally believable.
▼: ONLY STUPID FUCKING DOUCHE CANOES WOULD COME ONTO SOMEONE SO UNBELIEVABLY DUMB AS YOU
▼: AND I AM NOT A DOUCHE CANOE
▲: pfffft, hahaha, did you just say douche canoe?
▼: SO THERE
▲: that is like the best thing ever!
▼: PRICKS AND DOUCHE CANOES DUDE
▲: man, karkat, you are hilarious sometimes.
▲: one second, all this laughter is making it difficult to fly this car!
▼: ARE YOU MAKING FUN OF ME?
▼: WAIT, CAR?
▼: YOU ARE MAKING FUN OF ME AREN'T YOU.
▼: ALL THAT "BEEP BEEP MEOW" SHIT
▼: WELL FUCK YOU.
▲: no, i wasn't making fun of you, geez! so sensitive.
▼: I AM NOT SENSITIVE
▲: i was trying to get my wizardy friend to stop eating the shaving cream.
▲: yes you are.
▼: UH, WHAT. AND NO I'M NOT.
▲: uhh... it is complicated to explain!
▲: dude, you so are.
▼: PRETTY BOLD ASSUMPTION TO MAKE.
▲: i guess it would be, were it a genuine assumption!
▼: WHICH IT IS NOT.
▲: you're right, it's not an assumption. it is a fact.
▼: YOU ARE BEING A STUPID GRUBFUCKER. NO IT'S NOT.
▲: shhh, it's okay, karkat. i am here to console you through your moments of emotional rollercoasters.
▼: GO SUCK A NOOK
▲: i don't even know what that is!
▲: geez, i am trying to be a nice friend here and you are pushing me away.
▼: MAYBE YOU WILL BE ENLIGHTENED BY THE EXPERIENCE THEN
▲: i... what? oh man, i am confused now.
▲: how am i supposed to know if i have experienced it if i don't know what it is?
▼: IT'S LIKE EATING SOMETHING FOR THE FIRST TIME
▼: YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HAS BEEN SAT IN FRONT OF YOU
▼: IT IS DISGUSTING AND VILE
▼: BUT THEN YOU EAT IT
▼: AND YOU ARE SUDDENLY BESTOWED WITH ALL OF THE KNOWLEDGE THAT CULTURE HAS TO OFFER
▲: so, uhhh... i am guessing you have had prior experiences?
▼: OR AT LEAST SOMETHING LESS REVOLTING THAN A MINOR CASE OF FOOD POISONING
▼: NOT REALLY
▲: dude, you seem to know a lot about this subject.
▼: NO I DON'T.
▲: my troll bullshit lobe is tingling!
▼: YOU ARE READING INTO THINGS THAT ARE NOT EVEN THERE.
▲: i guess we are just taking turns doing that tonight.
▲: so you admit that you were totally reading into things before, when we were talking about dave!
▼: FINE. WHATEVER.
▼: DOESN'T NEGATE THE FACT THAT YOU AND HIM ARE TOGETHER IN ANOTHER TIMELINE
▼: OR EVEN IN THE FUTURE
▼: I'M BETTING ON THE LATTER.
▼: AS A MATESPRIT OF COURSE.
▲: pffft. whatever.
▲: this is not even a thing that we should be conversing about.
▲: it is a weird and embarrassing thing.
▼: OH, AND WHY NOT JOHN?
▼: IT SEEMS LIKE QUITE AN INTERESTING SUBJECT.
▲: it is not interesting!
▼: HOW YOU TWO ARE TOTALLY GETTING INTO EACH OTHER'S NOOKS AND ALL.
▲: okay, one... that is not a thing that is happening at all!
▼: HE PROBABLY FONDLES HIS BULGE TO THOUGHTS OF YOU EVERY NIGHT.
▲: two... ew, is that what a nook is?
▲: we are not even going to be talking about dave's bulge, jesus christ!
▼: TELL ME, WHAT DO YOU THINK A NOOK IS?
▲: something, umm... sexual?
▼: I THINK YOU WOULD ENJOY THIS: www.youtube.com/watch?v=aeXIoB…
▲: no, i am not even opening that link.
▼: IT HAS TO DO WITH A
▼: NIC CAGE
▲: oh my god.
▲: this is the best song ever!
▼: IT ACTUALLY DOES NOT COMPLETELY SKEWER MY EAR DRUMS
▲: okay, now he is talking about boners. that was a little weird.
▲: because nic cage is amazing, karkat. this is gospel.
▼: HEY, IT IS YOUR HUMAN CELEBRITY LOVE INTEREST.
▲: no way, he is not my love interest!
▲: i have a manly affection for his movies.
▲: it is all completely heterosexual.
▼: SOUNDS LIKE YOU HAVE A SECRET CRUSH ON HIM.
▼: DO NOT DENY IT.
▼: YOU WANT HIM.
▲: no, come on. nic cage is awesome and relatively attractive, but just... no.
▲: i would sooner admit i have a thing for dave!
▼: YOU FINALLY ADMIT IT.
▲: no!! goddamnit, that wasn't what i was saying.
▲: there is not even a thing there to admit to.
▼: SURE SOUNDS LIKE THERE IS.
▼: IS THERE SOMETHING YOU AREN'T TELLING ME JOHN?
▲: why are you even so interested in this?
▲: do you want to update your shipping wall or something? geez.
▼: BECAUSE. NO.
▼: I DO NOT HAVE ONE OF THOSE. NEPETA IS THE ONLY ONE AROUND HERE CRAZY ENOUGH TO HAVE ONE OF THOSE.
▲: you probably hide yours under your pillow or something.
▼: IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL ANY BETTER, YOU'RE ON THERE.
▲: i am? uhh, that is kind of cool i guess!
▲: sort of weird, knowing that who i may be attracted to is up on a wall for everyone to see, but... yeah, i can go with it.
▼: SHE HAS YOU PRETTY MUCH PAIRED WITH EVERYONE YOU'VE EVER INTERACTED WITH.
▼: IN EVERY QUADRANT.
▲: wow! that is a little scary. i am glad i haven't interacted with that freaky horse dude.
▼: BE GLAD.
▼: SHE HAS ME IN A LITTLE SQUARE UP IN THE CORNER WITH HIM.
▼: AS A FUCKING MATESPRIT.
▼: IT IS DISGUSTING.
▲: daawww, karkat and horsey dude together forever!
▼: I DON'T WANT TO BE IN ANY SORT OF RELATIONSHIP WITH THAT SWEATY ASSHOLE WHATSOEVER.
▲: don't lie to me! i am going to be invited to the wedding, right?
▲: man, do trolls even have weddings?
▼: HE PROBABLY HAS A HORSE SUIT FOR JUST THE OCCASSION.
▼: NO WE DON'T.
▼: THERE IS NO WEDDING.
▼: THAT IS STUPID.
▼: I WOULD RATHER GNAW OFF MY OWN LEGS THAN BE WITH THAT RACIST FUCK.
▼: TAVROS MAKES BEING A CRIPPLE LOOK EASY.
▲: okay, okay, geez. i will sadly accept that there is not a thing and thus no awesome quadrant party for me to attend or anything.
▼: WHY WOULD YOU EVEN?
▼: WANT TO, I MEAN.
▲: because you're my buddy, dude! if you were going to have a party of some kind i would totally want to go.
▼: HE IS AN IGNORANT RACIST HORSE DICK LOVING GRUBFUCKER AND I AM A PRETTY HUGE DOUCHE TO EVERYONE.
▼: I DOUBT THAT PARTY WOULD BE FUN AT ALL.
▲: okay, yeah, we would have to kick him out.
▼: I WOULD PROBABLY END UP TOSSING SHIT AT EVERYONE AND CRYING IN THE CORNER ALONE IN MY WEDDING DRESS FOR THE REST OF THE NIGHT.
▲: well, even though i am struggling so hard right now not to imagine you in a wedding dress...
▲: i will just say that i would come sit with you in your corner of despair!
▲: and console you and stuff, i guess.
▼: YOU MAKE IT SO HARD TO HATE YOU SOMETIMES, YOU KNOW THAT?
▲: because i really do think you are pretty awesome, karkat. sure, you are a douche sometimes... but you are funny and i know you totally care about people!
▲: i am sorry. hehehe.
▼: I HAVE TO ADMIT. I'M GETTING PRETTY DEPRESSED HERE.
▲: what? why?
▲: you can tell me, come on!
▼: NOW I AM IMAGINING A TROLL WEDDING IN WHICH JUST EVERYTHING GOES FUCKING WRONG
▼: AND I DO ACTUALLY END UP CRYING SOMEWHERE ALONE IN MY WEDDING DRESS.
▼: IT WOULD HAPPEN.
▼: DON'T EVEN SAY THAT IT WOULDN'T
▲: pffft, hehehe. karkat, you are so adorable sometimes!
▲: it totally wouldn't, because like i said i wouldn't let you cry alone!
▼: AND LISTENING TO THIS FUCKING SONG DOESN'T HELP: www.youtube.com/watch?v=BELNiW…
▼: I AM NOT ADORABLE.
▲: no, dude, you so are.
▼: YOU ARE DELUSIONAL.
▼: HANG ON
▼: SOMETHING JUST BANGED ITSELF UP AGAINST MY DOOR
▲: uh, that doesn't sound very good!
▼: IT WAS JUST A STUPID CAT
▼: ARE YOU LISTENING TO THE SONG?
▼: DID YOU LISTEN TO IT?
▲: i am listening to it right now!
▼: THAT IS LIKE THE THEME SONG TO MY WEDDING.
▲: hehehe. it is a really nice song, i think!
▲: who exactly are you going to get married to? i mean, you already have the song picked out!
▼: I DON'T KNOW.
▲: jade and kanaya can design you a dress, hehe.
▼: IT'S LIKE A FUTURE THING, YOU KNOW.
▼: JUST IN CASE.
▲: well, you better invite me to it, dude.
▼: NO, I MEAN THAT'S THE THEME FOR THE THEORETICAL DISASTER WEDDING.
▼: FINE, I WILL INVITE YOU STUPID ASS TO MY WEDDING.
▲: sweet! i can't even wait. it will hopefully be awesome and not a disaster.
▲: but i will come prepared with tissues for you, just in case.
▼: FUCK, IF IT'S A DISASTER, I'M JUST CALLING THE FUCKING THING OFF UNTIL WE GET IT RIGHT.
▲: i am sure it will be a great wedding, dude.
▼: IT WILL BE THE BEST FUCKING WEDDING.
▲: i am so psyched for it.
▼: EVEN THOUGH I DON'T REALLY HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT GOES INTO A WEDDING.
▲: me neither! i am sure rose and jade could help out.
▼: I'M SURE THERE IS CAKE INVOLVED THOUGH.
▲: yes, cake. my dad can handle that shit.
▼: PROBABLY JADE KNOWS. SHE SEEMS INTO ALL THAT PARTY SHIT.
▼: GIRLY PARTY SHIT.
▲: man, jade would probably throw the best parties.
▲: this is making me want to have a wedding too!
▲: would you come to my wedding, karkat? you could be my best man and stuff!
▼: WHATEVER THAT IS. SURE.
▲: it is like... well, i don't know what they are there for exactly, but you get your buddies to stand next to you and whoever is your very best friend gets to be the best man!
▼: I'M SURE IT WOULDN'T BE COMELETELY HORRIBLE TO ALL OF MY SENSES
▼: WAIT, ISN'T DAVE LIKE YOUR BEST FRIEND?
▲: yes, but, uhh.
▲: okay, i think i hear the sound of a new topic fluttering in!!
▼: OH GOG. IT'S BECAUSE YOU'D BE GETTING MARRIED TO HIM
▼: OH THIS IS RICH
▲: no, geez, come on! don't start this again.
▼: SWEET SWEET VICTORY IS DANCING ITS DELECTABLE LITTLE TASTEBUDS ALL OVER MY TONGUE
▼: IF HE IS YOUR BEST FRIEND AND THE BEST FRIEND IS SUPPOSED TO BE THE BEST MAN BUT THE BEST MAN IS NOT AVAILABLE BUT THERE ANYWAYS IT MEANS HE IS THE ONE GETTING MARRIED
▼: I FIGURED YOU OUT
▲: man, you are just so smart.
▼: I KNOW I AM
▲: like a troll einstein over here.
▼: YOUR SARCASM IS BLISTERING
▼: I CAN FEEL IT PEELING MY SKIN LIKE A CURVED YELLOW FRUIT.
▼: IT IS SO SHARP.
▲: oh god, my brain is doing weird things to your words again.
▲: interpreting them in terrible ways.
▼: ONCE AGAIN, YOUR THINK PAN IS LYING NEGLECTED IN THE RAIN AND DEBRIS CHUTE.
▼: GET IT DOWN FROM THERE. THIS IS RIDICULOUS.
▲: i am sorry! i'm so ashamed of myself.
▲: okay, my thoughts are completely clean now.
▼: ARE YOU SURE?
▲: there is nothing dirty lurking around in my mind whatsoever, i am totally sure.
▼: I THINK I HEAR SOME DOUBT IN THERE.
▲: no, dude, i am so free of doubt!
▼: SO I ACTUALLY THOUGHT ABOUT IT
▼: AND I WENT AND LOOKED FOR AN ACTUAL WEDDING SONG.
▼: I THINK I FOUND A GOOD ONE: www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uolz7V…
▲: okay, i think your obsessive future wedding planning totally tops my little slip up!
▼: HEY, I THINK IT'S GOOD TO BE PREPARED FOR THE FUTURE.
▼: IT'S BETTER THAN BEING A PERIODIC PERVERT.
▲: this is a nice song! i think it would be good for your wedding.
▲: okay, just, shut up. i didn't mean to be perverted, it just kind of invades my brain.
▼: I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE I WILL HAVE THIS PLAYING.
▼: LET ME FIND ANOTHER ONE.
▼: THIS IS FUN.
▲: hehehe. i am glad you are enjoying this.
▲: you should be like a troll wedding planner or something.
▼: I SHOULD PROBABLY CORROBORATE WITH NEPETA ON WHO WOULD BE THE FIRST TO GET MARRIED.
▼: THEN WE CAN PLAN THEIR WEDDING BEFORE THEY EVEN KNOW THEY ARE GETTING MARRIED.
▼: IT'S PERFECT.
▲: man, you guys will be crazy planning partners in crime.
▲: i wonder who really will be the first to get married!
▼: PROBABLY TEREZI AND COOLKID THERE. NOT TO SHIT ON YOUR PARADE OR ANYTHING.
▼: I KNOW UNLESS YOU GO AFTER HIM THOUGH, DUDE, HE IS TOTALLY GONNA TRY AND PAIL THAT SHIT.
▲: what? dude, no. even if i didn't like dave or anything, i am pretty sure he doesn't like terezi like that.
▲: well, now i am all paranoid.
▼: DUDE DUDE
▼: I KNEW IT
▲: wait, shit!
▼: I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU'RE TRYING TO HIDE IT
▲: no, okay, come on, you tricked me!!
▼: IT'S NOT LIKE I CARE, YOU'RE THE ONE WITH ALL THESE BEES IN YOUR BONNET ABOUT YOUR HUMAN SEXUALITY.
▼: YOU LIIIIIKE HIM
▲: well, sexuality used to be a pretty big thing in human culture! i mean, back when there were more of us.
▲: karkat, oh my god just shut up.
▼: WELL NOW THERE ARE FOUR OF YOU.
▼: DOES IT REALLY MATTER AT THIS POINT?
▲: isn't it kind of important that we... you know, repopulate?
▲: if we start getting all gay, that is not going to be possible!
▼: THERE ARE TWO FEMALES THERE.
▼: ITS NOT LIKE YOUR RACE WOULD DIE OUT.
▼: OURS IS SORT OF FUCKED THOUGH.
▼: WE CAN'T HAVE WRIGGLERS LIKE YOU CAN.
▼: WISH WE COULD BUT IT'S JUST NOT GONNA HAPPEN.
▼: HEY HEY
▼: I WANT THESE GUYS AT MY WEDDING: www.youtube.com/watch?v=S3bRPH…
▲: pffft, karkat. here i am getting all worried over breeding and you are going on with your wedding shenanigans!
▼: YOU HAVE OPTIONS. I DON'T. SUCK IT UP AND WATCH THE BEAUTIFUL DANCING.
▲: what is even going on here. there are half naked dudes dancing and it is making me feel weird.
▲: uh, yeah, i have options if i just one day decide to up and have kids with rose!
▼: THAT IS ATTRACTION YOU ARE FEELING.
▼: THERE IS JADE ALSO.
▲: jade is my sister!!
▼: OH WAIT, YOU AND YOUR HUMAN SEXUALITY AGAIN.
▲: it is not even a sexuality thing this time!
▲: it is just... gross, we are related! having babies with your sister can lead to serious shit!
▼: PRETTY MUCH EVERY TROLL IS RELATED.
▲: yeah, okay, but that is a troll thing.
▲: with humans there is a good chance that the baby can come out all mutated and stuff!
▼: OUR MOTHER GRUB IS THE SAME THING. OUR GENETIC MATERIAL DONORS ARE BROTHERS AND SISTERS.
▲: i am sorry but that is super gross. even these dancing dudes are not quelling my revulsion.
▼: AND ARE ACTUALLY OUR BROTHERS AND SISTERS TOO.
▼: THESE DANCING GUYS ARE BEAUTIFUL. I NEED TO LEARN THIS DANCE.
▲: okay, stepping aside from the incest discussion...
▲: that is hysterical.
▲: if i see you do this dance it will complete my life.
▼: I AM DEAD SERIOUS. THIS IS FANTASTIC.
▲: i will just die right there on the spot with tears of joy in my eyes.
▼: BECAUSE MY PHYSIOLOGY IS JUST AMAZING AND MY DANCE OF PERFECTION WILL DESTROY YOUR RETINAS WITH IT'S SUBLIME AMAZINGNESS.
▲: okay, so i am holding you to this.
▼: I WANT TO BE THE GUY WITH THE RED HAIR.
▲: i will alchemize you up some hair dye.
▼: I NEED TO DO THIS.
▲: i am so excited to see this. i don't think you even realize the joy and hilarity you have brought into my life, karkat.
▼: I WILL BE DANCING IN MY RESPITEBLOCK FOR DAYS SHIRTLESS.
▼: ARE YOU LAUGHING AT ME?
▲: no, i am not laughing at you at all!
▼: YOU TOTALLY ARE
▲: this is just the best thing i have ever heard in my life.
▲: no, dude. i am not laughing.
▲: i am devoid of laughter.
▲: there is only excitement and happiness now.
▼: I AM ACTUALLY UNSURE IF YOU ARE BEING SARCASTIC OR NOT.
▼: BECAUSE YOU WOULD TOTALLY LOVE SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
▲: i totally would love it, that is what i am trying to convey here.
▲: geez, how much clearer can i get?
▲: what do i have to do to prove i am not being sarcastic?
▼: THIS IS WHAT SARCASM DOES TO A CONVERSATION.
▼: I DUNNO.
▼: UH. ADMIT YOU TOTALLY FEEL RED FEELINGS FOR DAVE.
▲: oh, come on.
▲: that is low.
▼: OR ELSE I WILL TAKE EVERYTHING YOU JUST SAID AS SARCASTIC.
▲: geez, fine, i will admit it!!
▼: I, JOHN EGBERT...
▲: i... uhh... haveredfeelingsfordave. okay. now we can get on with our conversation.
▼: I WILL ACCEPT THAT.
▼: I AM GOING TO LEARN THIS DANCE. YOU WILL SEE.
▲: oh man, i am so psyched. i am not even angry about what you just made me say.
▼: I WILL BLIND THE MASSES WITH THE PERFECTION I WILL DISPLAY IN BOTH PHYSICAL FORM AND DANCE TECHNIQUE.
▼: I NEED TO LEARN HOW TO DO THE THING HE DID ON THE BED THOUGH.
▼: HOLY SHIT, DID YOU SEE THAT?
▼: JUST RAISED HIMSELF UP ON HIS ARMS LIKE IT WAS NOTHING.
▲: i am pretty sure the thing you are talking about is called a push up!
▲: i can do those too, dude. they are easy.
▼: NO, WHERE HE RAISED HIS ENTIRE LOWER BODY INTO THE AIR
▼: THAT WAS CRAZY
▲: i probably skipped that part.
▼: I WILL FIND IT
▲: ohh, wait, like, a hand stand or something?
▼: SORT OF
▼: I''LL TELL YOU WHAT TIME IT IS.
▲: you have to learn how to do every single thing in that video.
▼: I WANNA WATCH THIS AGAIN ANYWAYS.
▼: I WILL LEARN EVERYTHING.
▲: maybe i will try to learn some of it too.
▲: and then we can have like a crazy dancing duet.
▼: GO TO 3:14
▼: IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL
▼: OH YES
▼: THEN I WON'T LOOK LIKE A HUGE OBNOXIOUS TITFUCK DANCING BY MYSELF.
▲: no, then you will just look like a huge obnoxious titfuck dancing with an awesome dude!
▲: an awesome dude who has no dancing skills whatsoever, unfortunately.
▲: i am just messing with you! i am sure you will look just as awesome as i will.
▲: it will be the best thing ever.
▲: i don't think the universe will even be able to withstand our incredible dancing combined.
▼: AND I WILL LITERALLY PUNCH IN THE FACE OF ANYONE WHO DOESN'T THINK SO.
▼: I THINK IT MIGHT JUST RIP IT APART AT THE SEAMS.
▼: IT WILL BE THAT FUCKING BRILLIANT.
▲: should we let anyone else in on this amazing shit?
▲: or will it just be a surprise?
▼: IT SHOULD BE A SURPRISE
▲: like bam! incredible dancing out of nowhere with the two most awesome dudes ever.
▼: JUST WALK OUT INTO THE LAB
▼: TURN THE LIGHTS OFF
▼: PUT THE MUSIC ON
▲: pfffft, hehehehe. this is great.
▼: BRILLIANT DANCING RIGHT THERE IN THE MIDDLE OF FUCKING EVERYTHING
▲: i should go start practicing right now!
▼: I AM DANCING IN MY CHAIR
▲: don't hurt yourself! i would start dancing but it makes the car shake.
▼: WHAT IS THAT
▲: oh, uhh. it is like this big, wheeled metal contraption that you sit in, and you put liquid fuel in it and it goes super fast!
▲: but i don't even need the wheels right now because i am using my windy powers to make it fly!
▲: it is so great.
▼: IT SOUNDS LIKE A DEATH TRAP
▲: no, no, it is a pretty kick ass human invention.
▼: A SCREAMING METAL DEATH TRAP
▲: i mean, it has the possibility of being a screaming metal death trap... but so do a lot of things.
▲: uhhh... planes?
▼: ANOTHER THING THAT HAS NO MEANING TO ME
▲: oh, geez. okay. they are... um, like metal birds i guess. they are super huge and you sit in them too, only they can seat a whole bunch of people!
▲: and they fly and go really fast too.
▼: AGAIN, A SCREAMING METAL DEATH TRAP
▼: I WOULDN'T SET FOOT IN IT IF YOU PROMISED ME I COULD HAVE MY WEDDING IN IT.
▲: okay, whatever you say! that would be an awesome wedding though.
▲: do you guys only get around by foot or something?
▼: INSIDE OF A SCREAMING METAL DEATH TRAP
▼: YES, OR WE RIDE AROUND ON OUR LUSUS
▼: OR IF YOU'RE TAVROS, YOU WHEEL YOURSELF EVERYWHERE.
▲: oh man, my dad used to give me piggy back rides when i was little, and those were awesome. i bet you used to ride around on your lusus a lot! it sounds fun.
▼: YEAH, WHEN HE WASN'T PINCHING ME OR BEGGING FOR ROE CUBES
▲: was your lusus like a giant crab or something?
▼: YEAH, YOU COULD SAY THAT
▲: pffft, oh geez. that is so cute. i wish i could have met him!
▲: i talked to vriska's spider mom on here once... uhh, needless to say... scared shitless.
▼: HE WAS KIND OF A HUGE ASSHOLE.
▼: HER SPIDER MOM EATS TROLLS. NO WONDER SHE'S SO FUCKED UP.
▼: VRISKA, I MEAN.
▲: really? or was he an asshole like you? as in... kind of grumpy but actually very nice even though he doesn't like to let people know?
▲: man, that is like terrifying!
▲: but vriska's not fucked up.
▲: she is totally awesome!
▼: YEAH, SURE. HE WOULD PINCH ME AND HISS AND MAKE LITTLE CLICKY NOISES TO MAKE ME LET HIM OUT OR TO GET HIM FOOD.
▲: i used to have a turtle that did that.
▼: VRISKA IS PRETTY FUCKED UP KID.
▲: no way! vriska is really cool and nice.
▼: NOW IMAGINE THIS TURTLE AS SOMEONE WHO RAISED YOU FROM A GRUB AND BASICALLY STAYS WITH YOU YOUR WHOLE LIFE.
▼: VRISKA KILLED HER BLACK CRUSH.
▼: SHE ALSO USED TO KILL TROLLS AND FEED THEM TO HER MOTHER.
▼: SHE IS A HUGE BITCH.
▲: ... yes. that is definitely what little nic cage jr. the turtle did! he taught me to read and stuff too.
▲: what? are you serious?
▼: SHE IS ONLY NICE TO YOU BECAUSE SHE IS RED FOR YOU.
▲: uhhh... oh geez.
▼: I AM BEING DEAD SERIOUS, NOT INTENDING A PUN OR ANYTHING.
▼: SHE KILLED A TROLL WHO NOT A FEW HOURS AGO WAS A CRIPPLE.
▲: are you talking about tavros?!
▼: YES. SHE KILLED THE ONE KID WHO COULDN'T FIND IT IN HIM TO HATE THE PERSON WHO DECIDED TO BE DOUCHEY ENOUGH TO CRIPPLE HIM.
▲: oh my god!! this is so awful. i can't believe vriska would do that... he was a really nice dude all the times i talked to him!
▼: EXACTLY. I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT HE COULD'VE DONE TO MAKE HER KILL HIM.
▲: maybe she had like, feelings for him and he rejected her?
▲: oh god. what if she kills me for the same reason?
▼: PROBABLY, BUT WHAT SANE PERSON WOULDN'T?
▼: SHE MIGHT.
▲: well, thanks a lot! you are not really being very comforting here!
▼: LOOK, JUST.
▼: I DUNNO. SHE'S FUCKING CRAZY AND OUT OF CONTROL AT THIS POINT.
▼: SHE'S GONE AGAINST EVERY ONE OF MY ORDERS I'VE EVER GIVEN HER AT THIS POINT.
▼: HEY, SHIT.
▼: I NEED TO GO.
▼: I AM ON THE "TWITTER"
▼: IT IS MY SECRET IDENTITY
▼: [nothing to see here]
▼: FUCK, CAPITALIZE THE FIRST M
▲: okay! i will keep that hidden somewhere safe.
▼: DO SO
▼: I WILL DO THIS DANCE WITH YOU AGAIN SOMETIME JOHN EGBERT
▲: it has been nice talking to you!
▲: hehehe, okay.
▼: HHAVE FUN WITH DAVEEEE
▲: oh, shut up! good bye!