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Directions to a HeartbreakThis is the way you should break my heart.
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Firstly, you have to call me over the phone, since we're both too cowardly to see eachother's faces. Call on a weekend, perferably a Friday night so I can cope over the weekend and stay home that night to curl under the covers.
Tell me, "We had great times but-" then pause, and let me say "But what? Are you breaking up with me?" Say this, "No no no, I'm not...well...yes and no. I really like you but-" pause again because you don't know why you're doing this. "But what?" I will persist. "Is there someone else? Is it something I did? What?" Sense that I am growing angry, and imagine my face contorting to hold back tears. Decide I am ugly. Hate me for it. Do not say "It's not you, it's me." because that's cliche and you're original. Do not say it's someone else, because that will send me into a jealous rage, and you wouldn't want that. Do not tell me we're just too different, because I love you and despite my stubbornness, I would change for you.