Chapter Seven- Mario's Crowbar CommentaryLet's do this!More Like This
SNAP…SNAP. The breaking of twigs under Wes’ feet excited him. He had power- he truly had power. He couldn’t remember his life before waking up in the Duplighost’s cabin, but he knew that it was probably a weak, miserable one. Now…things were coming up aces. SNAP…SNAP…
This is as confident as Wes will ever get. He has power, he hasn’t lost too many body parts yet, and his memory is wiped completely, the tragedies of his past completely unknown to him. After this point everything will begin to go downhill mentally for him. But wait— maybe there is hope for the future? Is a happy ending possible? Hmm, but really, I should write a joke perfect happy ending for all the characters. Wait! Maybe I should do a bunch of alternate endings…
This is very off-topic. Let’s continue on.
Could he be a Rogue from Mushroom City? It didn’t seem likely- with Mushroom City officially breaking off with Peach
Chapter Six- Mario's Crowbar CommentaryWell, it’s been quite a while. Let’s start up again!More Like This
Let’s begin by talking about how messed up I was when I was younger.
If Mario had aimed at his head…Well, at least I wouldn’t be in this situation, the Magikoopa thought sardonically, crawling slowly.
This exact phrase wasn’t in the original story, but most of what actually happened is- the Magikoopa getting his face half-destroyed, playing a weird game with Luigi (although in a much dumber form, I’ll talk about that later), and ultimately getting slaughtered by Mario. I remember writing it and thinking of it as “mature writing”. When someone left a comment back then saying that they liked it as a horror story, I was honestly surprised. Now I know, of course, that this is some incredibly %$#@ up stuff, and a large amount can definitely be categorized as horror.
I’ve also come to realize that writing in horror doesn’t sell very well (referring to views) and
Chapter Five- Mario's Crowbar CommentarySo if you’ve read the commentaries thus far I’m sure you’re aware that they are very rough and pretty disorganized- I write them up once, and never edit them. Naturally, this means there will be things I forgot to mention in the correct places- this has already happened once, and now it’s going to happen again.More Like This
I COMPLETELY forgot to talk about Princess Peach Toadstool (Age: 36) who first appeared way back in Chapter Two. She’s been dealing with Bowser and some other issues for the past twenty years now, and it’s made her a pretty terrible person. It’s unclear exactly what the toads (excluding Penter) think of her…Penter believes that they are too weak-willed to face her nastiness head-on, but it’s possible that they simply respect her too much as a ruler to care. It’s kind of ambiguous at this point.
So, anyway, on to the actual chapter.
(The front door of the cabin was) ...locked from the goddamn outside.
I dunno, th
Chapter Four- Mario's Crowbar CommentaryWear it always…it will save you…More Like This
Here we go again! Related to the vague message that starts Chapter Four is something I COMPLETELY forgot to mention in the commentary for Chapter Three: Wes’ amnesia. This will become a bit of a running theme, and one of the most important parts of his character. I can’t comment too much right now, but I’ll discuss it more down the road.
The voice was compassionate and friendly, and Laem desperately wished that it was real.
Oh, right, nevermind…this guy’s name is Laem. How…lame (I have to wonder if the duplighost had some secondary ironic motive in naming Wes “Laem” beyond it being “meal” backwards…).
First, the strange smell hit him like a bullet bill
It’s always fun to be able to use a Mario-related simile. Sometimes I feel the story is not “Mario-ish” enough, so I try to throw these in. To be honest, that leads to a rather interes
Chapter Three- Mario's Crowbar CommentaryAlright, let’s do this again!More Like This
The koopa opened his eyes. Wood- the ceiling was made of wood. It was a cabin, and for some reason he was sure it was a cabin in the woods.
A cabin in the woods? Are you serious? Wes, you’ve wandered right into a stereotypical horror movie!
The old woman…or rather, his mother, smiled, and pushed the tray of tea closer to Laem. “Have some tea and cake.”
As I recall I took some inspiration for this from Roald Dahl’s short story “The Landlady”, about an old woman who runs a bed and breakfast and tricks her guests into drinking poisoned tea, at which point she stuffs their dead bodies and keeps them in rooms. I think I read it for an English class.
On all of the times that Mario had taken the warp pipe to Peach’s castle, his hat had never fallen off. In fact-
XXXSo…god. In my version of the Mario world I have worship to Eldstar as the primary ki
Chapter Two- Mario's Crowbar CommentaryHello again, this is Magikoopa189, and I will be doing some commentary on Chapter Two of “Mario’s Crowbar”.More Like This
Before I begin on the actual chapter, there’s another small piece of the origin of the story that I wanted to mention. Mind, this is a very small piece, but I partially based the title of “Mario’s Crowbar” in tribute to a grimdark fanfiction that I enjoyed: “Peach’s Cake”. Now, I haven’t read the story since 2007, and it seems to have completely disappeared. It was a series of posts on a message board (I don’t remember which) wherein the author claimed to have “found” the story after moving into his new apartment. Looking back, that was obviously a ploy to make the story more interesting, but back then it fascinated the crap out of me (as it was supposed to).
Now then, onto the actual chapter.
The sun’s hot rays beamed down onto the dusty field and onto the heads of several hard-working t