TidesI read your lips,
but not your mind.
Well, at least not that much.
without the sinful touch.
You're so silent
and buried well,
behind the velvet curtain.
are these feelings certain?
I keep falling
back to you,
in realms of dark confusion.
Like evening tides,
I wander ashore,
seeking your love conclusion.
Wistful"I am the boy who wants to loveMore Like This
your misshapen words,
your broken hearted pieces,
your ink split fingers.
I am the boy who wants to kiss
those scar tattooed arms,
that tear stained face
mend what has been broken.
I am the boy who can
make your heart
sing poetry again."
If only he would say it
like he had
UncertaintyIt feels like falling from great heightsMore Like This
Or running towards endless nights
As if standing alone in blinding lights
Or being chased by grand knights
It feels like melting ice cold fire
Or knowing the secret of the liar
As if whishing to be someplace higher
Or having nothing when need is dire
It feels like losing something rare
Or searching through a haunted lair
As if breathing deeply rotten air
Or being treated unfairly fair
PerhapsI've always liked the feeling of pressureMore Like This
You get form knowing that everything could go wrong.
That unholy weight that sits in the pit your stomach
As you wonder about the worst possible end.
But, lately, the feeling has become less.
And, I wonder, have I simply given up?
Or am I somehow stronger?
Ignorant.I admit I'm still truly naive...More Like This
Though I try to stray away,
It's in our nature we all are.
I thought my problems surpassed everyone's.
A crisis was when I fell down and I got hurt.
But what of them?
I wish I could see the world, through your eyes.
Welling up with painful tears,
And I need to know why.
Even though you've told me many times,
I still don't believe you.
Because, through everything...
I wish I could walk in your shoes,
Even if they're dirty.
If I could see into you, I'd be a better person.
Maybe for once, I could be empathetic.
Because, through everything...
the ilium journals.it's all like little beaches in her hands and the sun rains down hot in the water. hot like kisses and the sand on the beach of her hands.More Like This
it's all like the feathers on my floor pulsing into the water so lightly. light like kisses and the feathers on the floor of the vacant shore.
open screen doors let the bugs make our house a home
it's like the freckled hairs of the lake that we comb, and we comb.
MomaDear Moma,More Like This
Didn't they tell you?
He's an internal abuse
Why must you tease?
You tore him down
But you are not pleased
Why did you lie?
You said you loved me.
Lying is a mere crime
You heard him cry
You saw him cut
But still you rid goodbye
I love you so
But my heart is beaten
My opened door is closed
Moma, moma, moma
Why should you hate me?
I, your own creation
But you hate me.
I just want you to love me
I tried everything
Every last apology
Moma, I beg
Please love me
I cry for you
Tears of black don't you see?
I'm not begging anymore
I'm done forgetting
I'm done forgiving
I'm done changing
Moma, not again
You told me to leave
You lied to me
I will never believe
Inside A GamePivoting footsteps arousing the groundMore Like This
With a melancholy melody soothing the air
A smell that's so fresh, a sound so divine
But a raging hot temper with a spice of a devil
The eyes with the texture of the brightest moons
Heart with the gold of the deepest mines
But a hatred in Him beyond an understanding
Facing a ghost of the blackest abyss
Finding out a life, like a video game played
Like living with strings to our limbs
We are a game but an instantaneous rejection
Rejection to believe a lie is it's reality
Realization to a lie is a knife to a chest
Cutting a faith to our comfort
Restriction to circulation of our mere life
Like a slaughtered infant to a newly hatched mother
A suffering unlike a wounding
An emotional skyrocketing intercourse
A piercing red flame to a crisp alley
Waving over a brain like an island shore
Alone in a black room
Mastering the art of our mind to a closure
Lights to a closure
Fear to a gaping ajaring
Cranium's to a vulner
Gathering BlueI sit beside the oceanMore Like This
with the waves and foam licking my feet
and the wind whistling through my ears
The ocean breathes to me
with the sprays and the mists
whispering sounds and beckoning me in
As I slip into the ocean,
the tide collides against my body
but the waves moves with me,
ushering me to embrace its great expanse
I find myself with water all around me,
a kaleidescope of colors, vibrant and stunning
The skies and the ocean merge together in one
as my own colors bleed together,
SinI'm in a war with myselfMore Like This
Against something called sin
I'm fighting a losing battle
In every conflict it's in
Engulfing my very body
In its tainted ways
My unforgivable crimes
Acted out from its plays
I try to save myself
But it's to no avail
Trapped in its savage will
All I can do is flail
My cries of unending torment
Cannot be heard
Because they're in my head
Every single word
The anguish of my soul
Tears me bit by bit
Ripping me apart
I want to be done with it
But no, it will not leave
For it's a part of me
Yet no one seems to notice
My sins, that I see
Depression hurtsBroken, shattered, torn into piecesMore Like This
Caught in a world where everyday life ceases
Depression, cutting, bleeding my heart
Everything I loved is all falling apart
Everyday life feels more like a chore
There's not a whole lot I can do anymore
I don't expect you to understand the pain
although, if you did, I wouldn't have to explain
One cannot say "no pain no gain"
For emotional pain is hard to maintain
It cuts deeper than the deepest cut
Imagine a wound that would never shut
You bleed and bleed but you put on a smile
thinking if you do, the pain would go away for a while
But at night is when it all comes back
everything you tried hard for, all falls off track
You often wonder if life is worth living
when people around you can be so unforgiving
and no matter how much you try to stop crying
inside, emotionally, you feel like your dying
Before you even think or say "stop being so depressed"
We wish we could and it's causing us more stress
It doesn't go away with a mere hug or a kiss
Do you re
.............Insert awkward title...............The first 5 people to comment, I'll feature 2 of my favourite pictures from your galleryMore Like This
Just fave this and I'll feature you~
Abelena X Marcus ~My Mentor~ IntroMore Like This
Who was he...Why couldn't I remember his name? Something about him that seems so.......familiar.......Who is he?
The lights were almost blinding me as I drove through the streets. I took the cigarette from my mouth and threw it away when I was done
with it. I took my hands off the handles just to fix my red, fingerless biker gloves. My blue eyes scanned the road as I drove down the
highway on my black and red motorcycle. The top half of my body was leaning over, my eyes squinting as I zoomed by, all images around me being seen only blurry. I stated to slow down as I saw the lights up ahead. My best friend, Jackson, was apparently having a party and he quoted to me "You better get your ass down here before you miss all the fun". Of course I didn't have to be told twice, whenever there was a party somewhere, I'd either be there to have fun or just crash it. As the lights got closer, I pulled over into Jackson's driveway of his
house. I pulled another cigarette from my pocket and p
SEXLovers do it.More Like This
People abuse it.
Porn improves it.
Teens try it.
Rapists force it.
Hookers sell it.
Brothels run it.
The horny want it.
And human survival relies on it.
300 Points Giveaway Winners!Alright, the winners of the 300 Points Giveaway are chosen (via random.org)More Like This
Each winner will receive 100 Points from me.
To all those who did not win: IŽll give you a new chance, to win a good amount of points very soon.
My Watchers get the chance, to participate in a seperate Giveaway as well.
Congratulations to the winners~
Love is a ClicheFor all my life I've been toldMore Like This
In the manners both rude and bold
that when you grow up
and find a girl
you'll fall in love
which makes you twirl
"Well," I said, "Alright, thats fine
but what about this year's valentine?"
It's 16 years, still no one's here
kissing or whispering into my ear
I think it's just my fate to be
"forever alone", nickname for me
Days like thisOn a day like thisMore Like This
I usually wish
I would have stayed at home
But as much as I hope
That I could cope
I'd rather just stay alone
You're not a winner
You didn't try
You're not worth half a lie
"Yes mr. Parent, yes, it's true
again there's no good news for you
we tested them, we know the class
but as always, yours didn't pass"
I know you waited for a punch line
My brain’s full of those, it’s a goldmine
But this time, really, the joke’s on me
Not just the poem, but reality
FarewellI'm sick of saying sorryMore Like This
I wish I didn't care
But still it always hurts
To know that you're not there
I wonder if you hear this
So deep inside your shell
I still hear your question
It's dragging me through hell
I'm tired of all their hoping
I wish my eyes were dry
But still I feel your pain
And I can't help but cry
I wonder if you realised
Just what you've done to me
I still hope your pain's gone
Now that you are free
I'm bored of saying sorry
For some-thing I did not start
But still I'll feel the guilt
When they know I stopped your heart
dead from the neck upto the thousands of souls who haveMore Like This
died beneath my skin, picked pink,
and those i would not be able to
sleep without, for they are the static
voices in my seashell ears - i am
sorry, but not sorry enough to stop.
should i scrape my illness from
beneath my nails, there would be no
one to wrap my feeble body in the
flesh of freckled stars and bark
warnings so softly. this is all i have.
there are people who haven't seen
the war here at home, the blood
lapping the shores of our pride.
and their eyes don't shine like mine,
but their hands leave bruises against
my temples, peeling the skin from my
back like poorly held wallpaper.
hope has fled and left me with an
empty nest. god trembles when i
wake to see another day. no one
hopes that sometime i'll be able to
laugh with my heart on my tongue,
and they sure as hell don't wipe the
sadness that drips down my chin
and hallowed neck.
for now, my ribs are shut tight like
venetian blinds, my mind is held
together with safety pins, and my
the dark amethyst echoes quicklythe sun fades from flaxMore Like This
to the deeping of the walls
and away; the river mirrors
the shade before midnight.
AzureStruck by Cupid’s dartMore Like This
I’m bleeding belladonna,
veins surging poison.
Now blue bells and little stars
live where my eyes used to be.
Phlox crawls from my chest,
heart pulsing with a nectar
that is beyond sweet.
My pretty petals tempt you,
with lethal indifference.
burgundy dreamsdeep and imposing,More Like This
swirling with fragrant desire
you pool under my skin
like inkblots on fresh linen.
your tongue cuts
delicate shapes into my
with a saccharine edge
only you could posses.
dark and alluring
like the lifeblood that
pours from our pretty little veins,
you catch my breath
and steal kisses
in the dead of night.
but you’re far
from sex in a glass;
an ungodly man with
more lies than he has affairs.
i guess I’ve bruised
your ego just like you
bruised my lips.
08.08.14I'm not celebrating deviantART's birthday this year. Don't get me wrong, I think it's an awesome idea for everyone to share their dA story, but I don't think that the time is right for me to do that. I've been giving away little pieces of myself all year and it feels like enough.More Like This
On the topic of these journals, I'm honoured to find that so many deviants consider me to be an important part of their story. I had no real idea that I affected anyone on here quite so much, so thank you all.
I have five months to accumulate enough points to extend my premium membership, so if you know of any literature contests that are offering points as prizes, please let me know!
As some of you may know, I made the radical decision to cut my long hair and adopt a pixie cut several months ago.
It's been a long, cold winter, but I'm pleased to say that my hair is almost long enough to put into
she's a grey emberburn slow;More Like This
call absence to your knees
and kiss its bruises
free from greed
until your hands are stained neutral
i.More Like This
for three and a half years you had
a home in the crevices of my bloodiest organ,
but you didn't pay rent so consider yourself
when people love each other they’re
willing to move mountains to simply see one another—
you won’t even pick up the damn phone.
you played me like a fiddle and then
broke the bow, but I'm still making sweet melodies
and going farther than you ever dreamed.
i was young and foolish,
mesmerized by your foreign taste;
you left me cold and curious but
i don't blame you.
good girls are just bad girls
who don’t get caught
you turned a child into a ghost
left to linger amongst hollow graves,
and then you tried to revive her
with spare change and empty bullshit
but you were too late.
she was already dead.
how can i spread my wings and fly
when you’re the dead weight at my ankles?
the first day i saw you the word 'wow’
echoed in my head; you make me see
the world in technicolor hues.
how to be my loveri.More Like This
look me in the eyes and count the stars
that you see reflecting in their
faltering irises as my
pupils dilate to show you what’s inside.
hear the symphony that is my body:
the clicking of my tongue as I pull at
the hem of my shirt,
the silent whispers of my breath as I
exhale my butterflies,
the war drum beating of my heart
as it hangs upon my sleeve.
feel my hand tucked tightly
between the ridges and gaps
of your calloused palm like a puzzle piece
that doesn’t quite fit.
(leave your fingerprints along my spine
so that I may find you the day
you become lost.)
taste my name on your lips;
salty, sour, bittersweet.
savor each and every morsel
as you devour me
letter by letter,
limb by limb.
breath me in like the fragrance of a fine wine—
i am a smoke that
will soothe your senses and pull those
ever pleasant words from your
pretty little mouth.
Emo?Emo?More Like This
is it really that bad?
you cant accept the fact
that i get a little sad?
that i am a little mad?
so i favor black
and i dont like pink
you use those as reasons
to make my soul sink
so some of us cut
and some of us dont
we can smile
laugh love and live
we're just not like the rest
sure we cry
we want to die
but none of you understand
its not like we had planned
to live life like this
to spend our days
depressed and amiss
we're not bad people
we dont worship satan
we're not out to kill anyone
we just dont like the world
as much as everyone else
and we dont like ourselves
as much as we could
but we're ok with that
you can call us ugly
you can call us fat
but you cant change who we are
we are emo
whats so wrong with that?
self harmI could pour my heart out to youMore Like This
But still you wouldn't understand
I didn't want it to turn out this way
This isn't how it was planned
My world was broken
Right before my eyes
I needed a way to cope
Without more problems to arise
So many thoughts
Spinning around my head
Then came the blood
Deepest of red
The scars I made
Ran deeper and deeper
There for a life time
Forever a keeper
The harm that is caused
Isn't a way of seeking attention
A way of escaping
The permanent detention
The scars show a cry for help
To somebody out there
To help the damaged soul inside
To finally repair
Known As Self HarmMore Like This
- Known As Self Harm -
Trickles down her arm
A special little secret
Known as self harm
Builds up deep inside
She's got to let these feelings out
But to who can she confide
Is the one that she trusts
The one that she turns to
When life becomes too much
To cover her pain
Hide her relief
Hide the cuts again
Self-HarmI got these scars,More Like This
Each has a story to tell,
A story to yell!
Cut deep into my arm,
But hey, it just a little self-harm.
No need to ring an alarm.
I can make it by,
And make it through
With a little help from you.
I love your hug,
Your warm embrace.
Your little dash of grace.
You're the sun on my rainy day;
The icing to my cake.
All I need is you to warm me up.
Cradle my insecurities.
Yet you cause my pain.
Attract the rain.
And make the blood freeze in my veins.
Take a deep breath,
Cringe if you must.
Look at my arm.
Read my stories of lust.
Burdened with pain,
Burned with the flame.
Yes, this is an arm,
Scared with self-harm.
Self HarmA cross upon my wrist,More Like This
Blood that makes me sane,
Release a heavy burden,
Of never ending pain.
A mark for my regret,
A cut across my arm,
Trying to find my comfort,
My comfort is self harm.
five second suicideand as i pour myself out on these canvasesMore Like This
i drip over the edges, spilling dots of
absence on the hungry earth.
they call me jane doe,
and i am not art.
every evening, i close the door,
close my eyes, disassemble.
slowly, i've become fleeting.
i float, my feet don't touch the ground.
how can i crash?
i fade, i dissolve,
but i've lost the motive to explode.
there's no glory in my death;
i leave no trace of the dramatic.
a man on the train last tuesday
nudged me, apologized, and carried on his way.
he's the last person who's
spoken to me since then.
we hit a notch in the tracks,
the car wobbled.
i stared at him silently,
counting the infinite futures
that suffocated behind my teeth.
i'm dying in my own penitentiary
with the cell door key in my pocket.