this is what it feels likewhen you look for love in other people's flesh-More Like This
search for it in the curve of their hips, the dip of their lips
the tightness of stomach and swell of their breasts
- it becomes almost too easy to forget
how quickly we rot,
how willingly our bones sink back into the cold embrace of earth
so simple to lose yourself in their meaningless touch.
but when you find love in someone's soul,
hear it in the drumbeat of their heart,
the sigh in their breath or sound of their steps
(and you breakshiversnap because you'll bend,
every fucking time,
in any direction they ask you)
when you find love like that,
you never stop imagining exactly how empty
the blue of the sky would be
just 'obsessive'the first time i saw herMore Like This
i was so enamored with the curls of her hair that
when she said hello i told her to be quiet.
she smelled like cigarettes and
cotton candy but i couldn't tell if it was real
she could've smelled like arsenic
i wouldn't have noticed
when we spoke
her syllables rung out like wind chimes
on a summer afternoon
i asked her out three times and she always said yes
my silverwear tapped on my plate
and i tried to make small talk but
i only wanted to talk about her
eyes and her lips and the way her
voice quieted the cacophony inside
my fragile mind and i never wanted
to let go of her paper feather hands
our kisses were alchemy
binding my thoughts and tired habits
i only had to pace the length of my sins
a hundred times before her divine
eyes pulled me in to bed.
she was tired of talking and i could see the
boredom in her when i spoke two hundred sentences
too long and she began to need some space.
i begged for her to stay but she said she'd be
happier with her mother and
Drowsy wakeYou skimmed over your loss while we were in the ocean.More Like This
Asked if I was a good swimmer and without waiting
for a reply swam further. I followed breathless,
but confident straddling the ocean with my thighs
smiling as the salt whipped up and licked my face.
I didn't fight it but instead leaned into it.
You said the best you'd ever swam was three miles.
Threw up afterwards. You seemed comfortable here
in the water as I flopped around happily but with
less ability beside you so I didn't question it.
Apparently she died in a car wreck, your brother was
driving drunk. He didn't make it either. You didn't
look at me as you said it but instead swam further.
I followed surprised but not overly shocked (I never
really am I guess).
You smiled at me drunk and said a few other minuscule
things I smiled back and asked you to tell me something
in German. You told me you wanted to fuck me in three
different ways I laughed but didn't reply.
I watched the sun lower its sweltering body towards us
incompletethere is a melodyMore Like This
inside this ribcage
but the world
has stolen the
there is a sadness
and an insanity
that is inherent
in the moments
we fall apart
but a dignity
and a beauty
in every day
that we do not
spring has come
but i'm not sure
if the flowers, yet,
or if the chill
sometimes i think
there is a madness
to a melody alone
but i remember
all there is left
blurred linesi have a tendency to overreact to small moments while intoxicated. the lines between reality and my imagination blur and fade away. so many of my memories are just dreams i've had. i will walk these blurred lines until i fall off of them.More Like This
sleeping in doesn't mean what it used to. i'm setting my internal clock so i'll wake up as you're leaving. just so i can see you for a moment. it doesn't matter if you know i'm there. that's how most of my nights are spent. my own insignificance has never played any part in my unmerited self-confidence.
my hairs gets long when i get lonely, just so i can feel any warmth at all. it's a weight i'm comfortable bearing. it's a weight i'm comfortable being bare of. we're day-drunk at 3 pm on a tuesday afternoon. we're slowly learning that home doesn't have an address. i've been told before, it just never really sunk in.
i'm still asleep. i'm barely dreaming. but oh, how i wish you were listening. i'm muttering your name in my sleep and i'm hoping this drea