NumbersNumbers fill my life.More Like This
am is the time on the clock when I wake up.
of a cup is the amount of Special K cereal I pour into my bowl.
of a cup of skim milk is all I put on top.
Splenda packets get stirred into my coffee.
degrees is the weather this morning as I make my way out of the door.
hours, the gym is open.
bpm is my target heart rate.
miles is how far I run.
minutes I spend in the shower.
pounds read in big bold numbers on the scale.
While others talk of books, and movies. Or of music and news,
In my head I am doing addition trying to recall the calories I have had today.
I stare blankly as I divide how many pounds I want to lose and how fast I want to do it to see how much I can eat this week.
I count the number of people that pass me with the dish I would have selected had I not been restricting myself.
feet across from me sits my boyfriend.
slices of pepperoni pizza grace his plate.
times he asks me if I want a bite.
times I reject the notio
Curing Depression in Seven Easy Steps1. apologize profusely toMore Like This
the ones you were honest with,
the ones who believe in you,
the ones who never cared,
the boy who thought you were
worth it, the girl who stayed up
all night to hear you breakdown,
the doctors, the nurses, the stars,
your scars, your little brother
who told you he hoped your sad
would go away, yourself
2. fall in love with someone
who doesn’t understand you.
write poems about his eyes being
a lighthouse, and his hands
being sirens. tell him he is
your happiness, he makes you
better. tell him his scars are
beautiful, he is so breathtakingly
beautiful that it’s reasonable
you should cry; love him
infinitely, love him like they say
you need to love yourself
3. eat away emotions
you didn’t realize you had. eat
when you’re sad, eat when
you’re bored, eat when he forgets
to call. eat when you think
you’re the only person alive
in a dead universe, eat when
you don’t remember when you
were last happy; pretend
the emptiness is