Get Over It“You’re just sad.”
“Suck it up.”
And the worst?
“Get over it.”
I’m not just sad. I suffer from depression
Waiting for happiness’s resurrection.
I can’t just forget it, it’s in me for good
I can’t do the things that I know I should.
I’m not just sad. I’m broken. I’m lost.
I’ve tried everything to fix it, no matter the cost.
I’ve carried a blade just to hold to my wrist.
I’ve carried a dream inside of my fist.
I’ve talked about it, like they say I should do
But all my efforts are stopped by ignorant people like you.
“You’re just sad.”
“Suck it up.”
And the worst?
“Get over it.”
Stop asking me...Stop asking me what's wrongStop asking me... in Free Verse More Like This
Because I'm never going to answer.
Stop telling me it gets better
Because I've accepted that it'll never change.
Stop begging me to let you in
Because even then, I'm just going to fake a smile.
Sometimes, when I'm sadSometimes, when I'm sadSometimes, when I'm sad in Free Verse More Like This
I remember that one time,
All I had to worry about was
If the bubbles I had blown, were about to
Sometimes, when I'm sad
I remember that one time,
I began to worry about the day that
My childhood would simply
Sometimes, when I'm sad
I remember that some day,
When I'm sitting with my husband
In the old old house... my days will simply
And that day,
The day when my heartbeat is
The day when my breath
Truly gets taken away.
That's the day
When my worries, my concerns, my fears...
Depression...No, depression is not just getting sad.Depression... in Free Verse More Like This
It's a constant sadness that melts into your bones,
An indescribably heavy weight upon your shoulders,
Never mind your heart and soul.
It's believing so many lies (maybe because you've learned to accept them)
And no longer appreciating your self-worth.
Wishing you no longer existed, wishing yourself gone.
Depression holds you back from your dreams
And pulls you into a nightmare.
It takes full control of your existence.
It makes you never want to get out of bed,
And when you finally do,
You just want to get back in it.
But you know the hardest part?
I'll Just Say What's On My Mind...I’ll just say what’s on my mindI'll Just Say What's On My Mind... in Free Verse More Like This
For everyone to hate.
I used to cry myself to sleep
And slice my skin with blades.
I wrapped a belt around my neck
In hopes of lifelessness,
And after failing even that,
I remained emotionless.
My mother used to cry all day
And my dad used to be ill.
My sister attempted suicide
By swallowing the pill.
My mother tried to kill herself
And we almost watched her fall.
She swallowed gulps of whiskey
And she blamed me for it all.
I have hallucinations,
And delusions, and depression
And fighting my own demons
Has become a slight obsession.
I’ll just say what’s on my mind
For everyone to see.
This is who I am, and hey!
I’m still okay with me.
The reason I stopped tryingI'm just going to stop trying.The reason I stopped trying in Free Verse More Like This
Because you'll never understand.
I carry dreams inside a fist
While you hold cruelty in your hand.
I'm just going to stop trying.
Because I've been through so much hate
I've been through knives and ropes and scars
And wounds and blood and blades.
I'm just going to stop trying.
Because through all I've had to do..
The ignorance of people
Is the worst thing I've been through.
I'm just going to stop trying.
And you want to know the truth?
The reason I've stopped trying
Is because of those like
You don't just die.Do you understand?You don't just die. in Free Verse More Like This
The blade against your wrist
Doesn't just slice your skin.
It cuts through others
Do you understand?
You don't just kill yourself.
You kill everyone.
From YOUR goodbyes.
Do you understand?
You don't just die.
You take everyone down
Love AgainHear my worries, fear my criesLove Again in Free Verse More Like This
Dread the whispered lullabies
Drown beneath the spinning skies
Feel the truth you can't deny
Taste the blood upon your tongue
Feel the poison fill your lungs
I am she who lies among
Those who know where things belong
Feel the weapons kiss your skin
Listen to the screeching wind
See my power, watch me win…
And never fall in love again…
If you are a victim...If you have ever faked a smileIf you are a victim... in Free Verse More Like This
Slit your wrist
Cried yourself to sleep
Wished yourself gone
Chased a dream (and lost it)
Ended up in a nightmare…
Turned away from your “friends”
Tortured yourself over an error
If you are a victim…
Remember to stay strong.
Because you’re only a survivor
What Happened?I used to think make upWhat Happened? in Free Verse More Like This
Made people ugly.
Now I think I'm ugly without it.
I used to think people
Always loved me.
Now I think everyone hates me.
I used to think everybody
Was my best friend.
Now I think no one truly is.
I used to think
Boys were icky!
Now I wish I had one.
What happened to being
I wish...I wish I was a monsterI wish... in Free Verse More Like This
So I could be kind
And break the stereotypes.
I wish I was colored
So I could respect people
And break the stereotypes.
I wish I was a man
So I could be kind to women
And break the stereotypes.
I wish I had male friends
So we could all be..
And break the stereotypes.
I wish I had autism
So I could prove that autism,
Does NOT mean "dumb".
And I could break the stereotypes.
I wish I could change the world.
But sometimes, you can't break a stereotype.
Only stereotypes, can break you.
ThinkYou say I`m cold.Think in Free Verse More Like This
You say I don`t want to be friends.
You say I keep to the shadows.
You say I don`t like people.
You say I`m weird.
I`m not cold, I`m shards of a person.
I`d love to be friends, but I`m scared.
I keep to the shadows to stay out of sight.
I like people but I can`t trust them.
Would you be warm if you`d been broken?
Would you be friendly if stabbed in the back?
Would you walk in light if darkness surrounded you?
Would you like people who made you want to die?
Would you be different?
Before you judge, make an effort to see.
Surfaces have depths, people have sadness beneath.
Feel.You can`t.Feel. in Free Verse More Like This
You can`t feel what I felt.
Rip out your heart.
Pull out your spine
Tear yourself apart.
Then you`ll come close.
That`s how you made me feel.
With your words.
They reached inside me.
pierced my soul.
But now it`s different.
I have the chance
to tear you apart.
But I don`t.
It would mean being like you.
But I want to live.
So I forgive instead.
BeautyHer hair, a shining dark waterfall.Beauty in Free Verse More Like This
Her eyes, opalescent jewels.
Her skin, cream and roses.
Her body, graceful.
She is Beauty.
But she changes.
Her hair, fake and plastic.
Her eyes, you can`t see them under the makeup.
Her skin, smeared thickly with tan.
Her body, curves grotesquely accented.
She is your version of Beauty.
HeyHey.Hey in Free Verse More Like This
We're your friends
And we know you have asthma
And we think it's time you got over it.
Your cerebral palsy is stupid
Why don't you just suck it up
Other people have it worse than you.
You don't really have HIV
You just think you do
If you stop thinking about it, it'll go away.
We've been talking about it
And we think that you're faking your cancer
Stop trying to get attention.
You can't do any of that?
Then stop telling me to do the same about my depression.
I WishI wishI Wish in Free Verse More Like This
One day, the past will leave me be.
Crawl back into the shadows
Release its hold on me.
One day, I can hold my head up high.
Ignoring the cruel remarks
That make me want to curl up and cry.
One day, the pain will fade.
The constant ache in both heart and body
So I won't always be afraid.
One day, everybody can get along.
Mom and Dad won't fight anymore
And everyone can feel like they belong.
One day, I won't want to die.
But there's so much suffering
Why should I even try?
But most of all
I wish for a friend
Someone who is caring.
Someone who is loyal.
Someone who is kind.
One day, I will have a friend.
Someone whom I can trust
Someone who won't pretend.
The Monster InsideThere is a monster in meThe Monster Inside in Free Verse More Like This
Deep within my mind
This monster grows day by day
Fed by those who are unkind
I desperately seal it away
Locked in a cage without a key.
Only the cage is made of glass
Fragile, brittle; it is easily freed.
When I'm told I'm not good enough,
Not smart enough, not fast enough,
Not tall enough, not strong enough.
When I'm told I'm too small
They are like stones thrown at the cage
Hitting and cracking the walls.
And the monster smiles, its grin savage.
As my cage weakens, it strengthens.
Finally the cage shatters
And the monster is unleashed
And I'm drowning in the sensation
In pain, as I lash out in anger.
In pleasure, as I hurt those who hurt me.
In horror, as I break bones and draw blood.
In sorrow, as I lose control.
This is the monster in me
This creature of violence and rage
There's a monster inside you too
How strong is your cage?
I Am AliveI am alive.I Am Alive in Free Verse More Like This
Sometimes I wish I wasn't.
Why am I here?
Why do I exist?
I shouldn't be alive.
Sometimes I hate my parents.
Why did they make me?
Why was I born?
I am alive.
Sometimes I see the dead on the news.
Is it wrong that I envy them?
Why do they know peace, whilst I suffer?
I shouldn't be alive.
So the bullies remind me daily.
Why do they hate me?
Why do they hurt me?
I am alive.
Maybe I shouldn't be.
Would my family be able to make ends meet?
Would my family know less pain?
I shouldn't be alive.
With a gun in my hand.
With a noose around my neck
With a knife to my wrist.
But I am alive.
And I'll make the most of it.
And I grit my teeth.
And I scream to the heavens:
Please?PleasePlease? in Free Verse More Like This
Will you talk to me,
And let me know I'm not invisible?
Will you hold my hand
And let me know I have a friend?
Will you hold me close
And let me know I'm wanted?
Will you kiss me
And let me know I'm loved?
Will you do these things
And let me feel alive?
DieDie:Die in Free Verse More Like This
Such a simple word, spewed without thought.
"I wish you'd die, I wish you'd be killed."
But what if we actually gave meaning to those words?
Can you understand the emotion, the magnitude, the weight,
Of actually seeing the life of an individual depart?
Can you look them in the eyes, as they bleed into your hands;
Observing their final moments, as the light fades from their eyes?
Or are you simply a soft-hearted coward,
Sitting fat behind a computer, wishing death upon others?
To say that one is deserving of death,
Suggests that you are ready to kill.
And if indeed you are ready to kill,
Then you too must be prepared to die.
"Now please, stop those tears my good man, we've only removed three of your toes so far (^_^)"
-Chen Yuan Wen, 9th July 2013
PressurePressure:Pressure in Free Verse More Like This
You try to breathe, but you're barely breathing,
You can't think clearly; you can barely speak.
Your mind is filled with needless thoughts.
Your cheeks are red and feverish...
You know what you must do,
But you can't bring yourself to do it.
Instead you jump into a thousand distractions...
Mindlessly seeking the thrill of the 'anything',
You cringe at the progress of time on the clock.
And with lips gone dry from an internal hell-fire
You continue to evade what you cannot face...
-Chen Yuan Wen, 22nd June 2013
DesperationI wonder how many days you've spent feeling lost.Desperation in Free Verse More Like This
Thinking that you're going somewhere.
Never actually getting anywhere.
You look at the same four walls over and over again.
You can paint them in different colours,
But you know they're still the same.
And you convince yourself that you're making progress,
Nothing's changed, but you're making progress.
Things are getting worse, but you're making progress.
And then you wake up and realise,
That shit has hit the fan...
Suddenly you're forced to do the things you couldn't,
The kind of things that you were never comfortable with.
And you find out you can do them.
You find out that the only reason you couldn't,
Was because you were afraid to try.
It's hard - trying to take that first step.
It's hard - trying to convince yourself to take that chance.
If you give in, they winIf you give in, they win:If you give in, they win in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
There ain't no one in the world who can decide your limit,
Cause if you're playing this game, then you're playin' to win it.
I don't believe in the words of the hopeless and dry;
These wings are born full of freedom and they're achin' to fly.
I don't care if the world gives me scars on my back,
Cause I will wear them with pride over a suit that is black.
I am the heaven and the hell and I'll make you believe it;
I am an angel and a demon and I swear that you'll feel it.
Cause I ain't never gonna give in - never say die.
Until the moment that I am ash I will always have tried.
Until the very last minute, when the skies are grey,
You see it raining black lightning but I'll never go astray.
Because the path is before me; it's laden with dirt,
But I will trudge across the mud to the heart of the earth.
I am the core of what makes you; the drill that'll breakthrough,
So follow if you feel me cause I'm comin' right at you.
Your attitudes are made from a bo
Sit down, I want to tell you something!Sit down for a second,Sit down, I want to tell you something! in Free Verse More Like This
Because I want to tell you something.
I want to tell you and everybody else that walked over me.
That today, I have become something!
Just walk with me for a second,
I want to show you something.
You remember this; is it all falling into place?
Cause this is where you shut me down.
Now I didn't know what I was supposed to do;
Excuse me for being a loser, right?
I had to work up a lot of courage to ask you out.
But you didn't even look at anything beneath the surface.
So of course, you just flipped me off and walked away.
Because of you I went to the gym every single day.
Because of you I started lifting iron over my head.
And you know what it feels pretty damn good to be getting my pump.
Yeah, that's something that you did for me!
And now, over to my phone,
Let's call up Michael.
What up man?
You remember me?
Yeah, I'm the guy who could never fit in!
That kid who was
Twisted Up InsideWould you ever know the feeling,Twisted Up Inside in Free Verse More Like This
Of being twisted, over and over.
Much like a string of high-tension cord;
Ready to snap at any moment.
You are barely controlling this swell of emotion.
Keeping it taut, lest it burst from the surface.
A plastic smile serves as your only defense;
Witty banter, to stave off a deeper inquiry.
You hide the signs of your sickness;
Quickly easing the pressure.
Whilst appearing to adjust the suit,
You move through the crowd like a fading wisp.
Rushed, sweating and just barely contained.
You duck into the shadows, so you might breathe again.
-Chen Yuan Wen, Broken World Series, 13th November 2013
Graduation DayGraduation Day:Graduation Day in Free Verse More Like This
They told us we would be alright...
We had fought with honour and won our titles.
We had overcome trials together -
Watching dozens of our siblings fall in the line of duty.
For this they had promised us, a wondrous welcome;
A bountiful world of adventure, with a myriad of paths.
All this, they said, awaited us in the stone cities.
Large metropolises, where the working folk resided...
There were hundreds of us, who made that journey.
Walking miles across the scorching desert,
Clinging to a hope of the fortunes beyond.
Yet what awaited us was not a promised land -
Nor was it a life based on the merit we had earned...
Instead we found ourselves quarantined,
Pitching tents of inexperience-
Huddling together for comfort and warmth;
As the great gates of employment stood eerily silent.
-Chen Yuan Wen, 18 June 2013
These Tears Would Come:These Tears Would Come:These Tears Would Come: in Free Verse More Like This
If my tears could tell a story of two -
What would they have to say about you?
Of a boy who spent his whole life seeking
And a girl who found it in the arms of another…
Would they tell us of laughter? Beneath a starlit sky,
Or of harsh words exchanged on bitter nights.
Would they speak of moments, so beautifully captured;
To be enjoyed in memory, like a perfect wine.
Or perhaps they would tell us of an untampered truth:
Of the lonely nights spent longing, for an Eden lost.
Captivated, habituated, to this lonely habit of you;
For her alone, these tears would come.
-Chen Yuan Wen, 31st march 2013
These Hands Are So Red...These Hands Are So Red...These Hands Are So Red... in Free Verse More Like This
These hands are now red and so slicked with this blood,
I can't even wash it in a basin of mud...
As I scrape at the skin of those demons I chase,
I am left with a smile mixed with pain on my face.
Since I swore I would savour this blatant disgrace,
Let perversion be writ in these scars I will trace.
From the tip of my shoulders to the base of my tongue,
Are the names of those sleepers so cold and so young...
-Chen Yuan Wen, 15th March 2013
Dark Sadistic Muse:Dark Sadistic Muse:Dark Sadistic Muse: in Free Verse More Like This
I seat myself before the computer,
With fingers poised over fading keys.
Eagerly awaiting my latest epic;
Yet frozen by a lack of inspiration.
Here I sit, staring at the blank document.
The dark background mirroring the world behind me.
I swallow hard as my body locks;
Hairs tense as I sense her arrival...
Slender fingers soon wrap themselves around my throat.
With claw-like nails digging in painfully,
They prick the skin that lies just beneath my Adam’s apple;
Leaving me nursing a rather painful necklace.
"Your hands aren't moving," she coos softly,
Her clawed fingers gently stroking my chin.
"Why is that, I wonder?" she asks with a grin.
Her expression reveals a pair of pointed canines,
Both framed by lips as seductive as sin.
"I'm sorry my lady", I whisper in reply.
The excuse tumbles slowly from a paralyzed tongue.
"I have had no inspiration you see;
No dreams with which I am able to write."
She laughs at this; cruel and cold,
Tossing me from
Just Words"I'm fine" is a dirty lie.Just Words in Free Verse More Like This
The truth is that I want to die.
"I'm tired" is not even done.
It really means "I'm tired of being no one"
"I'm better" is but a curse.
The truth is that I've never been worse
"I'm just cold" is what I say
so my sleeves can hide my scars away.
"I already ate" is said with a frown.
I starve to see the numbers on the scale go down.
"I'm okay" is probably the worst.
It really means I'm about to burst.
All these things are lies to me.
But you take this as the truth because what else would I be?
Tell Me ThisOh, so you're not thin?Tell Me This in Free Verse More Like This
Tell me how you're ugly.
Oh, so your hair doesn't look good everyday?
Tell me whose does.
Oh, so you make mistakes?
Tell me who doesn't.
Oh, so you're not a model?
Tell me what the definition of beauty is.
Oh, so you aren't normal?
Tell me what "normal" is.
Oh, so you aren't good enough?
Tell me why.
Because there isn't a standard you need to reach to be yourself.
That one girlShe's that one girl you see with the pencil wovenThat one girl in Free Verse More Like This
between her skinny fingers
She's the one who sits in the corner
instead of the middle of the room
The one who's always last to speak
The one who's words are kept secret to everyone
Always the one who bites
her own tongue
She's the girl who's beautiful
but doesn't think the same way
She's the one who can't be convinced
of the talents she holds
The flare that ignites the lives of the people around her
but she can't feel the heat for herself
She is weighed down by the insecurities she slings
over her shoulders
She's unconvinced of her own style
her own special self
She's the girl who paints
She's the girl who draws
She's the girl who writes
But second guesses every stroke of her brush
to every letter she prints
Shes that one girl whose eyes display a world
all her own
But she sees a somber world
staring back at her
The Heart Necklace A child sits numbly at a tableThe Heart Necklace in Free Verse More Like This
the chairs across from him are empty.
Children race about around him
and he watches as their attention dashes through him.
He wears a heart necklace the red of a summer sunrise
and plays with it idly between his fingers. It can be split in two but it stays as one.
Someday, I'll find someone to wear this with me
He whispers, almost as if to console himself.
A teenager sits meekly at a table
the chairs across from him are empty.
Other teens text and chat with their friends
and he watches as one girl smiles at him with honey eyes.
He wears a heart necklace the red of his blushing face
and he plays with it idly between his fingers. It is split in two but both pieces are around his neck.
Someday, she may wear this with me
He whispers, almost lost in his shy giggles.
A man sits proudly at a table
the chair across from him sits a woman with honey eyes.
Anyone else w
Crash And BurnI wonder if other people see how I feel.Crash And Burn in Free Verse More Like This
With every glare to meet my eyes,
its another preying glare to slap my face
and another glare that heats my cheeks with nervous fire
I wonder if, day after day,
if people see my fear, if they see how I shake.
When they walk by, I stumble away
because I know they don't want me near them.
I wonder if they pity me
If they see the lonely child inside my glass skin.
Sometimes they give me gentle eyes
because they feel sorry for how lonley I really am inside.
I wonder if they know I don't fit in,
if they try to welcome me but I'm too naive to see.
But everytime I just walk away because-
because everytime I try is another crash and burn.
Let your heart holdYou'll find be at the bottomLet your heart hold in Free Verse More Like This
Watch at how my bones shake
Caged by the blazing bars of shame
Watch at how my heart awakes
Not to shatter under pressure
When your safety's on the line
And when your thoughts begin to fly
The way you act is how you're defined
I'm not the one to fight
When I'm at the head of the crusade
holding the beast that lay inside
with the worries that come cascade
I started to surender
when the light began to run
I was controlled by massacre
I had to chase the fading sun
When I'm on a faulter
Or on the end of dejection's blade
Walking a tightrope with one last thread
I still wont let my heart fade
I'm sent down onto my knees
Last words the last thing to shed
But yet when death is a charade
Backing down is the last thought in my head
Show me to the shipwreck
Watch at how my lungs collapse
Without a remedy or herb
Stay and watch my self-worth relapse
Ill never s
Boys can hurt too...And he satBoys can hurt too... in Free Verse More Like This
In a place no one could find him.
Where the grasp of his peers could not pull him under
And the hot breath of his family couldn't raise the hairs on his neck.
He ripped at his hair with his fingers
As if to pull out the fear
The feeling he got that impaled his heart.
He wondered how his heart could have been poisoned so
When it was sealed behind the cage of his ribs
And locked with a key of reason.
Perhaps, instead of protecting his heart
He imprisoned it.
He let that cage rust alone
So no one could get in
He let the rust encase his hopeful soul
And he let the very will to not get hurt
Guard the prison he obliviously made
And his heart slowly died of neglect
It cracked, and became a broken masterpiece.
The permanent scars that slowly appeared
Was as if an open door to the things he feared
And they crawled inside and replaced everything he once loved
His heart was
The Irony Of PerfectionOne who does not possess the gem of perfection sees himself but of a shadow of someone that is more, but yet renders clueless the plague he ceases to see upon him, for his imperfections sculpt him into a masterpiece all his own. The irony of perfection is only seen by the one who created himself perfect, his excellence in every lift of his finger and blink of his eye to bore him as he gains no further in what he used to value, in what his passion used to be but his love to vanish surprisingly as he preformed flawlessly to no where. Perfection creates nothing but bordom to build slowly as a sour scab on his soul, realizing he can go nowhere else but infront of a halting stop sign. He sighs as he watches his shadow build himself into more and more each day, longing to become what he was as if the shadow himself while the shadow builds only to become the possessor, unaware that he will soon wish to be his own shadow someday.The Irony Of Perfection in Free Verse More Like This
Isomnia.To the mocking flash of my cell phone clockIsomnia. in Free Verse More Like This
The glitter of morning my closed blinds block
In a hunch on a chair or a ball on my bed
Comfortable and comfy but I stay up instead
With paper and pens and paintbrushes I raise
And the stories that unfold on each turning page
Youtube, Facebook, and clicking links
Are the things that keep me from even a blink
Round and round, my thoughts echo and spin
Closing my eyes even seems like a sin
Redbull, pepsi, and midnight snacks
Drinks of sugar in tempting twelve packs
The silence of myself and the embrace of a book
Casting and reeling until sleep's on my hook
They say theres plenty of fish in the sea
But sleep swims deeper than my hook can see
Alone in a dimming desk lamp light
Confronted by morning that stepped through the night
Open curtains, birds with a morning song
It's a shame I had to wait this long.
Milky Waymy body is a road mapMilky Way in Free Verse More Like This
of hazard signs
but on the days
when the mirror
is nice to me,
i can hear
like little racing
beneath my skin:
you are not worthless.
you are strong.
your ribcage has a meaning-
these bruises are
ste ti & you are the Milky Way.
You should never attack a poet,we are the best at exploiting weakness.You should never attack a poet, in Free Verse More Like This
the night you took a scalpel to my chest
& fed my heart to the stars,
you told me i could hate you
if i needed to.
with an exorcism
i tried to cast you out
of my body.
i was contorted limbs:
the language of tongues
trying to find myself
in the cosmos
of lit kerosene fingertips,
& the kinds of habits
that only choke me at 3am -
when my eyes aren’t yet heavy
enough for sleep;
my mind tells me to do awful things.
between fucking &
you are the calories
in the mathematical equation
i think of shy moons
and i don’t eat for three days.
you only liked me
when this poetic tongue
space shrapnel aside-
you’re too far down now
for even the stars
to graph you into their maps.
Please,don’t make mePlease, in Free Verse More Like This
fall in love with you,
I don’t want to remember you,
those Sunday morning
or the way your
lost boy eyes always,
always found a way
to find mine.
There are only so many times
I can allow you to slice
through my scar tissue
before I finally
Therapists, I don't like their taste.i.Therapists, I don't like their taste. in Free Verse More Like This
in 7th grade
i didn’t know depression
until she told me her name,
carving forever scratches
along my limbs like
little love notes on the bark
of a tree.
she stole my rings
and left me hollow.
i had only ever met anxiety
in passing, until one day
he handed me power and told me
to hurt someone else with it.
with an uncontrollable
quivering in my fingers,
he whispered, “ to survive,
you must learn quickly.”
as i shoved the bevel of a needle
into a strangers arm.
so, if a therapist
could talk away my scars
like iodine disinfects,
guide the ships
through the storm of my mind
like a lighthouse-
instead of pills,
if a therapist could
give me the strength
i might just
take my chances.
I loved a girl.i loved a girl.I loved a girl. in Free Verse More Like This
i loved a girl with a love
for cummings & sandburg
i loved an unflinching
poet of a girl.
& with no better diction:
they called the shaking fists
at her sides, her silent act
of pacifism, cowardice.
i’m the coward;
she bled for the both of us.
I'm talking myself in circles,I screamed,I'm talking myself in circles, in Free Verse More Like This
"There is nothing
wrong with me, not a damn
I wanted to believe
the big dipper on my arm
meant something more
than sun marks & kisses.
But, how can I trust words
that slip through my teeth
as easy as breathing
when this star
has only ever learned
how to f
Bones mend, but tell no lies.You have cataloged your scarsBones mend, but tell no lies. in Free Verse More Like This
like your body is a library-
to be read through &
You think of
all the little boys
whose greedy fingers
You are angry-
cared for you
They left you
on a shelf
to gather dust.
should you ever
Universe GirlsheUniverse Girl in Free Verse More Like This
fell in love
while he was
still a planet;
she could only manage
to fall in love
with shooting stars
in the glare of your eyes.
what more could you truly ask
from a universe girl?
free birdit’s a need to feel the suns golden fingersfree bird in Free Verse More Like This
teasing figure eights along my back,
& the wind on my cheeks.
i must have been
a bird in some past life,
a swallow or a hummingbird.
because, i swear on some nights
i can feel the growing pains of an atlas
ready to burst through my skin like wings.
i just want to be
Writer ScarsI have told my secretsWriter Scars in Free Verse More Like This
through loves ink -
painted them to my skin
with watercolor defiance.
& writers, we sometimes
write about our scars
in riddles, layers upon
layers of thought, -
care for them
on the warlands
of our bodies.
we give them faces,
we give them names,
we give them gravestones.
We kill them off
in our stories,
make them villains,
make them heroes.
I have wrists that roar,
& I will be damned
if I don’t let them
tell their stories.
I'm left with hope.I know it happened once, but it left me scarredI'm left with hope. in Free Verse More Like This
I won't give up, but I'm still afraid
But I will be brave, I just hope it won't happen again
Because I'm not sure I'll be able to handle the pain
It feels like all I can do is hope, for the best days.
Lately...Lately I've been thinking, if the stepsLately... in Free Verse More Like This
That I've taken were meaningful at all
I'm not sure if my conscience helps me anymore
Maybe faith is guiding me through this storm
My heart feels like it's being torn
By the one who I've cared about the most
Shattered heartWith this broken heart I'll keep moving onShattered heart in Free Verse More Like This
And the scar you left me will help me become strong
For my heart used to be so numb, but then you showed me love
Sadly then you shattered it, once you saw I held you dear
But I hope you don't regret what you have done
For what I felt, you'll only receive it once
I'll wipe off your tearsTrust me when I say this, everything will be alrightI'll wipe off your tears in Free Verse More Like This
I’ll be here, to comfort you every moment of your life
Cry on my chest if you like, only if it lets you feel right
Because I will always be here, right by your side
I know some things can be unexpected,
And sometimes the bad can’t be evaded
But I’ll try my best, so you can be able to rest
And I’ll try my best to relieve you from stress
Because I care too much to leave you with pain
It tears my heart to see you like this again
You’ve told me to step back, but it's too sad and tiring
I promise you, this will be the last time you’ll be crying
The end of a worldAs I look out the window and see the clouds of smokeThe end of a world in Free Verse More Like This
People are leaving their house,
With their face drained of hope
Close by I see people crying,
In the distance I hear people screaming
The worst is happening,
Only this time we’re not dreaming
The faithful are gathering,
Holding hands and praying
The tainted are bargaining,
Taking anything that can be taken
The weak are jumping off buildings,
Leaving blood on the pavement
Large scale of suicides
Whether by knife, gun, or hanging
It’s anarchy out there
And it has only begun
I’m damned to the flames
Because my sins can’t be undone
The stars and planetsMy mind disconnects when stars are revealed at nightThe stars and planets in Free Verse More Like This
And millions and millions of planets, so distant and bright
And for us to be told we’re alone in the universe is a lie
There must be another species, that’s something we can’t deny
But some of us, with curiosity filling our minds
Investigates these stars, these planets
Hoping to find something hidden, something new for mankind
But some even fear, that which lies hidden is our end
But I do not know what to believe
They could bring peace, or tragedy
Though, from what we’ve seen, they are their own worst enemy
From these self-proclaimed “human beings”
A prince's rebellionGrip your swordA prince's rebellion in Free Verse More Like This
And fulfill what you’ve sworn
To protect the kingdom
From your descendants souls.
Since birth you've been surrounded by lies and deception
And now you’ve grown to see the abuse of my authority
Now you’ve grown, to kill the one who raised you
But with little hesitation, for my forgiveness is scarce.
I’ve seen you grow; you’ve seen me be cold
When I held you warm, I sacrificed them all
When I was going to give you the kingdom, you revolted against the old
Like I was once told, my son shall become my biggest foe!
First friend, first loveI’ve been sitting alone for so longFirst friend, first love in Free Verse More Like This
That I’ve forgotten the meaning of "friend"
But just when I started to think I don’t belong
You became a person that I could befriend
But as time passed along, you seemed like more to me
My heart would grow warm, every time we’d speak
But I just don’t know if we could ever be
But I’ll take the first step, to start something unique
Lend me a kissLend me your sweet lipsLend me a kiss in Free Verse More Like This
Give me a soft kiss
Stay with me till the end
Let's stop playing pretend
Don't let my heart break
Let's learn from our mistakes
I'll let your love embrace
Mend me with your lovely grace
They never leave my mind
Your cherry colored lips
The roses that I have picked
And the sweetness that one day I'll kiss
Leave your past behind.Leave your past behind. in Free Verse More Like This
I know that you remember all of those bitter moments
But what is it worth for to keep those memories working
They’re not making you happy; they’re just making you hopeless
Then follows depression from the feelings that you’ve let lurking
Because you went through it, but you relive it every moment
When it’s all in your mind and you’re making it a necessary component
It’s just jarring to your heart, yet you keep it for your mind is uncertain
Many broken hearts, from family to friends, something you won’t admit was certain
I’ve been like you, for months to years, having a mind that’s unclear
And so I’ve shed so many tears, all which came from fear
Though it could be hard to move along, no one ever said you cannot
So please, don’t give up, I believe in you, even if you do not
listen:1.listen: in Free Verse More Like This
People will let you down.
You’ll love them, anyways.
Don’t let anyone romanticize
It won’t be beautiful
when somebody breaks your heart
the first time
or the second
or the eighteenth.
Pain is not beautiful.
Maybe on paper
but not inside of you
not in numbers.
A million people
but you’re still here,
and that's important.
You're doing something
My father told me
“Be selfish –
if you don’t take care of you
I liked to think
that this is the reason
he ignored me
I don’t have good advice
on this one.
Because the people who let you down,
are the ones promised to save you.
Are the ones promised to love you
and protect you
and I’ll tell you,
nothing quite hurts
like waking up in the morning
to the police in your doorway.
Nothing quite hurts
like being eleven
and hearing a cop say
“Poor girl had to live wi
breaking a writer's heart.never break a writer’s heartbreaking a writer's heart. in Free Verse More Like This
because your name
will forever belong to us.
you will sign it
into every broken bit
and one day, you’ll open a book
next to the words
"let me tell you about the time
i was hurt."
never break a poet’s heart
because between the beat
of the stanzas,
you’ll hear that heartbeat,
proving you wrong
with every line.
never break a writer’s heart
because we will take the pain
and make it into something
you could never live down.
you could live with heart monitors,
that measured the damaged pulse,
doctors who told you,
but you can’t live with the bold strokes,
smooth as a flatline,
that accuse you of being
the best thing
that’s ever happened to them.
you can’t live with it;
our soulmate, now writing.
You, now replaced
by a pen.
never break anybody’s heart
because you’ll cut yourself
on the pieces of it.
and see, hearts heal.
you loved someone.i.you loved someone. in Free Verse More Like This
Chloe is nineteen when she dies.
She ends it with a shotgun
the night her brother gets out
They say he molested her
he raped nine women
ten eleven twelve women
they say no
it was nine little girls
ten eleven twelve
little girls, kids, the bastard.
he was a bad man
“No wonder she did it.
If he was my blood
I’d’ve done it, too.”
You go to the funeral
because that’s what good people
because your mother asks you
“You want to go to Heaven,
without looking up from her knitting
and you would laugh in her face,
but she’s your mother
and you love her
so you go.
A man you know stops you –
a friend of John’s –
John, who is not yours anymore
(even now, even in death,
you know he’ll keep her
longer than he kept you)
on your way to the bathroom.
“John really loved her, y’know,” the man says
as if you wouldn
adults.i.adults. in Philosophical More Like This
The media doesn’t support a positive body image
because it’s not good for business.
They want us anxious and afraid
of seeing the numbers on a scale go up.
We’re not worth our weight in gold.
It’s what we don’t weigh
My first boyfriend, who panicked when I touched him
would say “I’m fat”
the way somebody says “I should have never been born.”
They want us spending our money
on designer jeans, instead of groceries,
on concealer and diet plans, instead of an education.
Please don’t starve yourself.
Believe me, I’ve tried
and your body will start to eat itself from the inside out and
if you let it
it’ll get to some valuable stuff.
they’ll only appreciate your body when it’s a corpse.
They won’t notice you
until there’s nothing to be noticed
they’ll mourn and wish for something
that is no longer
In the second grade, I learned that
infinite/opposite.being an adult means knowinginfinite/opposite. in Free Verse More Like This
that there are things much scarier
than spiders, or snakes, or clowns.
the ocean, for one.
losing your parents.
empty tequila bottles.
waking up, still reaching
for someone who left you
a long time ago.
i live like there’s an end for me
because there is.
plants will wilt.
forests will burn down.
eventually, even the stars will burn out.
people will come to us.
they will touch us. they will hurt us.
they may keep us. they may not.
but i never hold on too tight
because when it’s time, my time,
i’ll only be letting go.
the heart has valves
that constantly open and close
giving love, taking love.
and my best advice
is to be selfish.
know when you’ve had enough.
know when you deserve better.
close the valves and
keep some love for yourself.
know that you are perfect
even if you eat that second cheeseburger
because there’s magic in this world.
we’re proof of it.
is fear o
not all the way through.i read once,not all the way through. in Free Verse More Like This
“Adults often forget
what it’s like being young
because they block it out.”
right after that:
“Similar to trauma victims.”
last summer, when i told that man
old enough to be my father
that i had a boyfriend,
he said “so?”
when I told him i was a minor,
he said “and?”
there are no boundaries anymore,
and don’t tell me
“boys will be boys”
because that doesn’t make it
don’t tell me
I was asking for it
because what I’m really asking for
is for it
i wish i was a person
and not numbers on a scale.
i wish i was a human being
and not the cleavage in my tank top.
i wish we would stop hating ourselves.
i wish girls were allowed to say no
and eat every day
and forget to shave their legs.
i wish boys were allowed to cry
and be ballerinas
and speak up
when something hurts.
i wish we thought
we deserved more.
(and don’t tell me
none of this is sup
things i want you to know.0.things i want you to know. in Free Verse More Like This
there is a picture in my living room
of my parents in their twenties, in sunhats,
there is a picture of my father holding me
when i was two years old.
there is a picture of my parents
on their wedding day.
there is a picture of me when i was
ten, eleven, twelve.
i’m seventeen now and
i won’t let my mother
take any of the pictures
i need to believe that, at one point,
this house was more than just
i was born on the second-to-last day
i weighed seven pounds, two ounces,
and it was ninety-nine degrees out.
four years before that, in 1992,
the officers who beat rodney king
within an inch of his life
five years before that, in 1991,
a cyclone in Bangladesh killed
138,000 people and made 10 million
ten years before that, in 1986,
a fire in a Los Angeles library
damaged more than 400,000
and on that day, april 29, 1996, i was born
and i’d like to pretend
that it was a go
normal is a six letter word.something went wrong around the eighth grade, when those mean boys followed you home, when they cornered you in an alley and pulled your hair out of its braid and told you to get on your knees because one boy had never gotten a blowjob before.normal is a six letter word. in Emotional More Like This
nothing happened. you got away; horrified and shaking, but you did. it was after.
when everything happened.
used to be, you’d cry when you scraped your knees, and you'd let people finish their sentences before thoughtfully adding your own – but that was before, before those boys knocked something loose in you, because now it's a cycle of not stopping. you can't stop talking or thinking, thinking all these big, bold thoughts that can take you away, that can surround you like a deep, dark tunnel, you can't stop eating because girls are supposed to smile and sometimes eating fills that emptiness inside of you, just for a minute, but then you can't stop starving because there's no time to eat, because you can't stop,
and i have tried to make it right.i.and i have tried to make it right. in Free Verse More Like This
let me tell you a story
using six words.
their names become parts of statistics.
let me tell you a story
using six words.
“suicide is the easy way out.”
let me tell you a story
using six words
that will never be told.
pain is not a fucking
do you still pray,
knowing there will be no answer?
see, i cannot speak for those
who have no voice to give
but, sincerely, these are the six words
i respond with:
i wish i could save you.
we live our lives being told that
there is always a safety net -
that there are people designed to protect us.
i’m going to use six words because,
the saddest stories
take the fewest words to tell.
for them, there was never anyone.
blades can cut wrists but
here are six words:
blades can cut stories short, too.
i have approximately 250,000 words
to choose from
to try and describe to you what suicide is
but i don’t
zero.5. I think I'm afraid of sex.zero. in Emotional More Like This
It's terrifying that two people can fit together perfectly, without even really liking each other at all.
4. I'm afraid of the day I start replacing myself with somebody else in all of our pictures; of the day I'll see my reflection and wish I didn't have to.
3. I'm afraid of doctors, and medicine.
The first time I took lithium, I couldn't hold it down. So I locked the bathroom door and flushed the entire bottle.
The second time, I couldn't walk more than ten steps without falling.
Honestly, I'm just wondering why they use poison to purify me.
2. I'm afraid of the ocean.
I'm afraid of looking down one day, and not seeing the edges. Of there being nothing there.
I'm afraid of falling and having nothing to catch me.
There's already nobody. The ground is really all I have.
1. I'm afraid of breaking things.
Like, once, I broke my dad's trust in me.
Once I broke somebody's heart.
Once I broke my kindergarten teacher's favorite
R.I.P.Did anyone notice that she winced if you raised your arm?R.I.P. in Free Verse More Like This
Did anyone notice that her eyes were wide with alarm?
Did anyone notice that she never looked you in the eye?
Did anyone notice that her voice was but a sigh?
Did anyone notice that her skin was always bruised?
Did anyone question whether she might be abused?
Did anyone question why she walked in obvious fear?
Did anyone question why one day she did not appear?
Did anyone recognize her face on the six-o’clock news?
Did anyone see her remains pulled from the river refuse?
Did anyone care that this quiet girl no longer exists?
No. No one did. And she will never even be missed.
Valentine's Day? UGHA blood-colored box in the shape of a heartValentine's Day? UGH in Free Verse More Like This
What an ironic way to express a poisonous dart
Well perhaps that might be the best way
To also show how love doth decay
So here I stand with my little red box
Crimped firmly shut with bleeding locks
Digging a grave with a blackened spoon
I bury this trinket under the glow of the moon
No love for me, not for even one day
So to all I whisper: screw Valentine's Day.
The WitchHer eyes are fractured blades of iceThe Witch in Free Verse More Like This
Formed by hatred and vengeance’s slice
No frailness beats within her savage heart
Only the dark desire to tear you apart
“Come,” she says through blood red lips
And motions with steel clawed fingertips
She smiles a promise of bloody lust
Daring you to enter her webs and dust
This witch is here to seduce and entertain
However be warned you shall leave insane
Hate is a BeastHate is a beast that hides withinHate is a Beast in Free Verse More Like This
Full of bile and fractured sin
It reeks of smoke and brimstone death
Growling viciously with every breath
Beware, beware oh innocent one
This beast can be inside anyone
Don’t watch the smile, the smile lies
Look deeply, deeply into the eyes
And even then you cannot be sure
This beast is cunning and has allure
Many have died within its embrace
This monster behind a very kind face
My only advice is politically incorrect
But would you rather reap regret?
Trust must be earned and seen very clear
Innocent? No, not until proven my dear
UnforgivingDo not tell me you did not knowUnforgiving in Free Verse More Like This
Or claim so innocently that it is not so
Do not even dare look in my eyes
And tell me more of your stupid lies
No willing victim in me you will find
I am not weak and I am not blind
I warned you once and will not again
You can call me enemy no longer friend
I am not forgiving and I do not forget
What shit you give you can expect to get