Can't you hear the voices?Can't you hear the voices? in Free Verse More Like This
Can't you hear the voices?
As they ring inside my head
Can't you see the faces?
Painted in the blood so red
Can't you taste the poison?
As it rests upon your tongue
Can't you hear the voices?
Then you do not belong.
I wish...I wish I was a monsterI wish... in Free Verse More Like This
So I could be kind
And break the stereotypes.
I wish I was colored
So I could respect people
And break the stereotypes.
I wish I was a man
So I could be kind to women
And break the stereotypes.
I wish I had male friends
So we could all be..
And break the stereotypes.
I wish I had autism
So I could prove that autism,
Does NOT mean "dumb".
And I could break the stereotypes.
I wish I could change the world.
But sometimes, you can't break a stereotype.
Only stereotypes, can break you.
Does that make me Different?I wear make up. Does that make me fake?Does that make me Different? in Free Verse More Like This
I cry. Does that make me emo?
I have male friends. Does that make me slutty?
I smile a lot. Does that make me weird?
I laugh loud. Does that make me preppy?
I have anxiety. Does that make me a freak?
I have Bipolar Disorder. Does that make me abnormal?
I respect people. I change for me, and only me. I have a past, but I know I have a future.
Does that make me different?
But at least it makes me
In My MindI like to talk to my best friendsIn My Mind in Free Verse More Like This
Whenever i'm feeling down.
A precious lick of happiness
From their sweet and lovely sound.
I cry the tears of melancholy
Upon their reliable shoulders
A kiss among my scars
As the night grows colder.
A feeling of pure pulchritude
As our friendship does prove true
Yes, i confide in my best friend
If only you could hear them, too.
Till Death Do Us PartThe poison resting beneath my lungsTill Death Do Us Part in Free Verse More Like This
As fire in the rain
The lies painting my tongue
The crimson blood stains
A scream drenching the skies
A shining blade of diamond rings
Sinking into your cries
A nightmare of the prettiest things
A demon with wings
Resting in my heart
So tell me again,
Again and again...
"Till death do us part."
Sick of societyI may live inside my own, twisted universeSick of society in Free Verse More Like This
I may change, sometimes for the worst.
What's normal to me is not normal for you.
Sometimes I just do what I need to do.
Behind a brick wall, I hoped someone would break it
I threw out my heart hoping someone would take it.
But I got tired of hiding and tired of hating
And instead of throwing myself at every guy, I'm waiting.
I'm sick of the person I tried to be
So basically, here I am, I will be me
I'm sick of the hatred, would you not agree?
.. Basically I'm sick of society.
You don't just die.Do you understand?You don't just die. in Free Verse More Like This
The blade against your wrist
Doesn't just slice your skin.
It cuts through others
Do you understand?
You don't just kill yourself.
You kill everyone.
From YOUR goodbyes.
Do you understand?
You don't just die.
You take everyone down
I'll Just Say What's On My Mind...I’ll just say what’s on my mindI'll Just Say What's On My Mind... in Free Verse More Like This
For everyone to hate.
I used to cry myself to sleep
And slice my skin with blades.
I wrapped a belt around my neck
In hopes of lifelessness,
And after failing even that,
I remained emotionless.
My mother used to cry all day
And my dad used to be ill.
My sister attempted suicide
By swallowing the pill.
My mother tried to kill herself
And we almost watched her fall.
She swallowed gulps of whiskey
And she blamed me for it all.
I have hallucinations,
And delusions, and depression
And fighting my own demons
Has become a slight obsession.
I’ll just say what’s on my mind
For everyone to see.
This is who I am, and hey!
I’m still okay with me.
Once Upon a NightmareOnce upon a mysteryOnce Upon a Nightmare in Free Verse More Like This
Once upon a crime
Once upon a lullaby
Once upon a rhyme
Once upon a thunderstorm
Once upon a lie
Because every nightmare tends to start
With once upon a time.
To some people.To some people, it’s called breathing.To some people. in Free Verse More Like This
To me, it’s called inhaling poison,
Which drenches my lungs and sinks into my bones
And melts into my mind.
To some people, it’s called anxiety.
To me, it’s called an unbearable shakiness in my soul
The nervousness preventing my from ever escaping
This disease in my heart.
To some people, it’s called living.
To me, it’s called never being able to run away.
Never being able to truly go, truly leave.
To me, it’s called being caught in a nightmare,
While struggling to dream.
Chasing a mystery with no solution.
Escaping your own sanity to reach more sanity,
Freeing yourself from your happiness to find more happiness.
To some people, it’s called life.
There’s no such thing.
I Met MeToday I met a girl,I Met Me in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
and she asked, "How are you?"
"Just fine," I replied.
She said, "No, tell me what's true."
Perplexed, I stopped and stared.
She was young, no older than eight.
Her eyes were still innocent.
They knew no hate.
"What did you say?"
I asked in confusion.
"You know what I mean," she said.
This girl was in a delusion.
Trying to be kind,I replied,
"No I do not."
She frowned and replied,
"You lie quite a lot."
Now I was agitated.
What does this girl know?
Acting like she's so intelligent.
I'll just tell her to go.
"Let me explain!"
She exclaimed in haste.
"I know you're not alright.
I know you feel misplaced."
How in the world?
Who is this little girl?
"But I'm here to say you'll be alright.
Though your friends will leave,
leave you feeling alone and cold,
you'll find a reprieve."
"So just stay strong
because I know you can do it."
How? Who are you?
I wished she would quit.
Suddenly it was silent,
and I turned to see,
but there was no one there at al
With YouHold me tight,With You in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Please don't go.
I'm falling apart,
falling down so low.
Like a rag doll I'm tearing,
seams falling apart.
I can't sew them back up,
wouldn't know where to start.
I need your help,
but I'm too scared to say,
too scared to reach out,
tell you to stay.
You're my only hope,
like it or not.
My chances are slim,
but I'll give it a shot.
So hold me up,
don't let me fall,
just tell me it's okay,
answer my call.
That's all you need to do,
and I'll be alright.
With you by my side,
I'll stand up and fight.
My smileMy smile was once so easy,My smile in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
a thing of joy and pride,
but over these years of darkness,
the ease has slowly died.
I find it's no longer truth,
but simply a lying mask.
It hides away the misery,
the hauntings of my past.
I refuse to look at pictures.
I see what others ignore.
The uneasiness of my smile.
How it has turned into a chore.
Will I ever truly smile,
with joy, pride, and truth,
or will I never know a smile?
Will it die with the rest of my youth?
Please, i wish to laugh,
to smile without a care,
but I'm not good enough for this,
and I guess that is fair.
House of MirrorsThey say I spinHouse of Mirrors in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
a web of lies,
but webs are for spiders.
They catch their flies.
No, my lies are mirrors,
each a different reflection.
They fill up my house,
my sinful collection.
Sometimes I get lost.
There's so much confusion.
Which ones are real?
Which are illusions?
I try to back track,
but the mirrors turn me around.
I cry out for help,
but the mirrors block the sound.
I give up.
Hang another mirror.
In this one I'm cruel and cold
on the exterior.
How many reflections
will I become?
Which one is real?
Where have I gone?
Cold HeartedI'm tearing them down,Cold Hearted in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Piece by piece.
Let the walls fall,
Let the pain increase.
I stare my pain in the face,
Let it rip me a part.
Show what I've always feared,
In the depths of my cold heart.
I review my lack of care,
All the people that I've hurt.
When did I become so cold?
When did loved ones turn to dirt?
What happened to me?
Once so loving and kind.
When did it get so bad?
Did I suddenly lose my mind?
I want to trust again,
To love and to care,
But is the risk to high?
Is the cost of pain fair?
I realize that it's not.
I'm safe within my walls.
So much better to be cold,
Then to get hurt in the fall.
Won't Give InI'm getting weak,Won't Give In in Concrete Poetry More Like This
can't find the light.
Too tired to try,
Too tired to fight.
I want to give in,
let my grip slip,
start the fall,
let myself trip.
But I can't let go.
I need to stay here.
Despite all the hardships,
despite all my fear.
I'll keep going.
I won't give in.
Though I feel like dying,
though my chances are grim.
So say hello to me,
this act I put on,
till my time comes,
till God says I'm done.
Why?Why do I speakWhy? in Free Verse More Like This
when everyone would prefer quiet?
Why do I show my face
when everyone finds it appalling?
Why do I try
when everyone finds annoyance?
Why do I live
if everyone wants me dead?
so I can spread God's word.
I show my face
because God loves the sight.
I try hard
because God wills me to.
because God gave me the gift to.
CagedI am the bird,Caged in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
trapped in your cage.
I cower inside,
terrified by your rage.
Please let me out.
I need to take flight.
The wind in my feathers,
smiling in the light,
but you won't let me out.
You laugh at my cry,
if you will not free me,
please let me die.
I cannot go on this way,
drowning in fear,
day after day,
year after year,
but you don't have the mercy,
don't have the grace.
You laugh as I scream,
a smile on your face.
Fine, be that way,
cruel and cold,
but I'm sick of playing,
your games gotten old.
I scratch at your hand.
Free! I fly straight ahead.
A window unopen,
thump! Your bird is dead.
You cry out,
but you can't hurt me.
Your birdy has just flown,
and is finally free.
UneditedWe cry.Unedited in Free Verse More Like This
We fight for our dream.
We're just waiting to die.
The same emotions
with a different drive.
Sometimes dead, sometimes alive.
The same in one way,
different in another
brother and sister, sister and brother.
So close in feeling,
so different in the end.
Falling apart, or finally on the mend?
Which am I?
Will I ever know?
Fighting to stay or ready to go?
Maybe I'm both,
in some impossible way.
Emotions oddly mixed everyday.
I'm such a freak.
Excuse me, I laugh, I should call it "unique"
Your Light, My FearThe walls are starting to cave.Your Light, My Fear in Concrete Poetry More Like This
I can't find the will to pretend.
I don't want to be your slave.
I just want this to end.
I can't take the fear,
the uncertainty of not knowing.
Can't you see, dear?
My strength is slowly going.
Are you there for me?
Will you catch me when I fall?
Because you don't seem to see.
You don't answer my call.
Am I a fool to believe?
Is this all just a lie?
Are you just waiting to leave?
Don't care if I die.
I wish I could run,
but i can't find the will.
I pick up the gun,
but find little urge to kill.
So I'll stay here,
no need to fight.
Ignore my fear,
focus on your light.
Nothing stays pure foreverThe waves crashed in a noisy remembrance of time:Nothing stays pure forever in Free Verse More Like This
seagulls screamed and
mermaids peered out from under
their safe home and
the smell of salt rode the wind like
it belonged there.
I am lost among the art of the breeze;
carried somewhere far away, like the land above
the clouds, haunted by angels and their purity.
There is someone crying,
perched up on the hill overlooking the sea and
sometimes, I think it may be me.
The earth is also crying for the lost souls
evermore, I am the misty ghost
above the spray of the waves, watching
newly formed families and
couples holding hands as they tread down the
sand that has never been good enough.
The sea holds the secrets of many,
especially those who entrust it with their
shells cut into the land, unbroken,
unbearably pretty, giving
life another beauty to admire.
There is a curtain over the horizon
draw it aside, little one, and watch the
over the lands, gracing it with a
presence that kept
tales under it
broken eyes and emptiness1.broken eyes and emptiness in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
It is a Saturday when she feels herself slipping. For a couple of months now, she has been clinging to recovery with bloody fingers but today
She looks in the mirror and there is extra extra extra, rolls of disgusting fat over her stomach, her thighs, her arms, and she wonders where she's been to let herself go to disaster. The scales are dusty with not enough use and she steps on them, her paper skin bare for all the ghosts in the walls to see. Curly hair tumbles just past her shoulders. Blue veins stand out on her forearms.
The point of a red needle swivels to stab her eyes out and
she is 39
jumping off the cliff with a sigh from bloody fingers,
she is 39 kilograms of too much,
of substance someone can grab and grope and eat with sharpened teeth
she is 39, breathing pieces of glass in her vision.
I want to see my bones, she reads in slightly-scary poetry. And each time a trigger screams in her head, set off by the mere mention of rib bones
Because you can think a million thoughts.There is a bite mark on my wrist,Because you can think a million thoughts. in Free Verse More Like This
smeared with red and purple,
teeth indents grinning at me
We are all the same,
at the very essence writers
stuck in words, artists stuck
in images, readers stuck in books.
Together, we destroy our
world by distracting ourselves
Tomorrow, I shall starve,
promising off food because I lust
over your soft layer in a way
that's more envy than want.
Other people deserve the
gift of food more
Tears are shed by millions
do you still feel alone?
I have a little belly
as if I have a child in there
and I think sometimes maybe my night-
mares are right after all.
I watch the pinkish-red tears of
bloodied water spiral down the
drain and stare at the gash in
feeling my desires settle down
20% of people in my country are depressed;
2% have eating disorders;
1 in 5 has some mental disorder.
42% of women have had a violent partner;
in one year, over 46,000 children were abused;
1 in 3 gir
flaw-fullsometimes i wonderflaw-full in Free Verse More Like This
what it would be like if i cut the insides of my cheeks
out, like crescent moons, like hollow balloons, and
stitched the ripped seams together,
so the slimy jagged sides looking to the
greener grass on the other side of my teeth can
mend back into each other,
without the substance of my face;
and to be
a broken doll, strung up with strings, grinning
with cherry-stained lips,
the scars on the inside instead of glaring outwardly
oh, that would be
irreversibly and undeniably flawless.
through the glass of a time-turner you really have no idea how it isthrough the glass of a time-turner in Free Verse More Like This
to be another hourglass to knock over, to
remain something vile and used, so
i'll hope for your innocence all
over again. and he'll force
me down in my night-
falling like a
gotchai'd like to scrawl poetry all over the wallsgotcha in Free Verse More Like This
but my heart is hanging
too heavy in my chest.
i'm on tenterhooks;
counting my footsteps, let's pull
the trigger before the gun turns
yes, i know there's inspiration here
if only i could write a letter to my shy
poetry, declaring stitched-up
love like it's the last time i'll ever
hold a pencil in my hand
but i think maybe my paper has already
been burnt to ashes,
my pencils snapped in half
and the words taped to the insides of
i'll paint lightning storms on my
and tattoo a farewell over my eyes because
drawing on windows
always results in nothing.
there's a child in my mind who
wears her brother's old pants and
sleeps with tangled limbs
but there's also a child who sings to
herself when everything else
has been severed away
and who sticks out her tongue to
taste the raindrops.
i'd like to find the time to string
together dandelion necklaces, visit
cemeteries with my father and ba
coffee-stained.the mornings breathe life into my limbs butcoffee-stained. in Free Verse More Like This
i can't work my head right until i breathe in your
the gorgeous, heavy scent
like strings of beauty weaved through your veins.
and to be in your presence
intoxicates my every sense, like i could
not see without you;
could not function without you here
my mornings desiccate like your fingers sliding
down a grater, its strands bleeding on
the blank table of my mind;
and perhaps you could say brown and red
are my favourite colours
they swirl together like a brownie with a
and once i scream, i cannot stop
with the scent of you in my nose
i have to walk away like the sun flees
from the moon,
leaving the vibrancy of its love as bright
as the blood on the breadboard,
your essence spilled all over the floor
and i breathe in your scent one more time
just to get me through the door
into the product of the sun's spilled love.
don't fall asleep,or they'll eat your ankles until you can see flesh and bone,don't fall asleep, in Free Verse More Like This
the tangy scent of blood heavy in the air, like salt and desire:
she barrelled through another day, screeching on tires that never had
any breaks, screaming obscenities while everyone's ears were bandaged up,
their eyes glued shut with obliviousness;
oh, she had lovely hands, she did, but they were covered in scars of pink and
brown and white, bristled with protection to hide the secrets
moonlight burns away at. someone tell her to hide
there's a monster on her heels, her ankles already bleeding with teeth marks,
circular and indented with
they shriek back at her when they unbutton their lips, perfect flesh moulded
into red instruments of destruction, but they always turn away, away, away,
blacked out windows, boarded up and birthed and named upon
bite your fingernails some more, honey, maybe this
time they'll bleed
and another day passed her by in a blur, ripping the brakes out of her
another notch on the wall. 1.another notch on the wall. in Free Verse More Like This
a while now,
a while now has passed
with bruises crying jagged from your voice
and pretty little nicks upon
( tricky partners dancing
within your hands cupped around a flame,
for artists draw and
another curse at the bleeding night
snipping stitches and
weaving nightmares into weary minds.
tomorrowthere are-tomorrow in Free Verse More Like This
remnants of your breath on the air,
flying in the wisps of your
eyelashes and trailing the scent of your
insides around this small world
and eventually, the dust
from your healing scabs will touch the white
clouds in a hopeful sky,
as the sun bleeds over the horizon
and reflects dreams on the deep water;
and the assumption
you must be afraid to die, when
there is only ever the scent of wizened life
in between those long departed
and those still waiting for the knife
where do you find the strength for hope-bitten wariness,
the rising of the sun
must always be taken for granted
the beauty prints itself onto your eyes and
dances to its own song:
and where would we be, if it fell
asleep one day and paused within
its own circle of timing and left one half
of this small world
in shadow and uncertainty?
upon its last kiss
lays your lonely lullaby as you
tremble in the cold arms of unconcealed
where no one hides b
I was LostThere was a fog in front of me,I was Lost in Free Verse More Like This
My eyes saw no more than three inches forward.
I stumbled through the haze.
I tripped, I fell, I bled...
The days in the fog seemed endless.
But at least I wandered without hunger.
At times I would sit,
At times I would cry.
There were shades around me,
Faceless, shuffling shades.
I'd talk to them, at times,
When the emptiness grew too heavy to bear.
They never did reply.
It was never painful in the fog,
It was never dangerous,
It was simply as it was.
A place where shades shuffled,
Never seeing more than three inches ahead...
- Written by Siddhartha Chen, 10th of February 2015, for Michel-le-fou
Soldier BoyOne day he came home,Soldier Boy in Free Verse More Like This
A man given freedom.
He looked in the mirror,
And liked what he saw...
The days wore on,
And he lived his life.
Morning PT was a distant memory,
So too were the shouts of a Sergeant.
Training came thrice at first,
Then twice, then once,
The days wore on...
And life became harder,
Sacrifices were made.
He looked in the mirror one day,
And didn't like what he saw.
Not the pot-bellied man working for a few scraps.
Nor the slovenly fellow who'd forgotten how to clean his kit.
He earned his freedom, but he had lost what he respected...
And the days wore on...
And so he went out running, one fateful day,
His lungs burning with every breath.
Yet despite the pain inside his chest,
He resolved the soldier, would return to his best.
"You've been gone a long time Corporal Chen, what say we go once more around
-Word of Chen, One-shot, 24 February
Words for the Young BloodsWords for the Young Bloods:Words for the Young Bloods in Free Verse More Like This
To all my ninjas sittin' low on the street side,
I want you all to raise your head with pride.
Because I'm callin' out, for the youth to come together
And get those big wigs off the fuckin' power ladder.
You ready? Because we're going at it hard:
See I'm the kind of guy that they're all playin' with
A systematic crisis workin' in the way we live.
The big shots still sittin' and they growin' fat.
With young bloods starvin' just to get their life on track.
We take psychometric tests and make a passing grade,
But ain't no job cause the corporate head is gettin' paid.
And when they screwin' with the money, they ain't never cut.
The young bloods be the first to get their letter up.
I say the system ain't shit and we all got it wrong,
The old mothers are just stayin' in for way too long.
I say we cut them from the system that they fucked up,
And let the young bloods take it; we'll just fix it up.
They set the game, but we're the ones playin' main;
I guess t
Run Little Rabbit, RunYou sit silently, painfully pondering, torn.Run Little Rabbit, Run in Free Verse More Like This
Wondering if your nightmares will stop.
You shake as you start awake,
Twisting beneath the covers, eyes flickering.
Panic seizes your heart, bile rising.
You hold it back, barely; panting.
You watch quietly as shadows dance.
Glad for your freedom from dreams.
You turn on your side, sighing,
Believing that your torment is over...
But that is when you realize,
As the ceiling sprouts blooded eyes
And as the walls crumble. That
Your terror has only just begun...
So run little rabbit, run away.
Or it won't be fun, this game we play...
-Siddhartha Chen, 29th May 2014
It Was Never You...It really wasn't...It Was Never You... in Free Verse More Like This
And I know that I can twist this truth as much as I want...
Whenever I'm sober, when I know I can put up that fake plastic smile;
Just a few formal words that burn like acid from a liar's lips!
"Differences in personality, a divergence in ideals..."
Please, fucking, SPARE ME!
Because when I look in this mirror, I know.
When I see myself looking back at me, I know.
Right here, right in front of my own blackened self;
Those eyes that both reflect and stare into my dingy soul.
I was the problem.
I was the instigator.
I was the perpetrator.
And when I had broken every last bit of her,
I was the one, who let it all fall to pieces.
So please, you don't have to feel sorry for me,
I am a bastard and I've got a very special place in hell waiting for me...
- Word of Chen, Darkest Hour, 16th February 2015
AddictMy dear little man, now tired and weary,Addict in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
The softness of sleep becomes dark and dreary.
In vivid dreams you see a bloodied ghost
Of the one you love and hate the most...
She tore into your veins,
And set them ablaze.
Even as you walked,
In a sickening haze.
You stole from the weak,
To feed your habit.
Blood upon the altar,
As you chased the rabbit.
A rabbit that enslaved,
Deep down the rabbit hole.
Inhaled like a blanket,
For the soul that was cold.
As the breathing became rapid,
And the vomiting begins.
You'll chase another rabbit,
To compound your sin.
And as your sins will grow,
So too will the madness.
It sinks into the heart,
And begins warping the canvas.
It paints it in bitterness,
The colour of black...
The colour of voices,
That lash at your back.
So dear little man, over pure white grains,
Are you done with this life of an endless pain?
I'll give you a solution, you need only apply...
For the man who is an addict, must surely die!
Stripping MeYou may take what you want from me,Stripping Me in Free Verse More Like This
Be it my pride or dignity.
You may throw insults at me,
And burn the shredded pieces of my sanity.
You may belittle me, as much as you want,
If only to make your meager life worth living.
But even if you do all that...
No one will protect you when I pull you into the dark.
No one will try to search for you, as my leather ropes tie you down.
No one will hear your screams as metallic screws drive into your face,
Etching an eternal smile, since you'll never leave this place...
"Now then, my dear sweet James, shall we play our favourite game?"
I'd Rather Be DeadYou're always asking me if I had anything worth dying for.I'd Rather Be Dead in Free Verse More Like This
I'll pose the opposite to you and ask you this:
"Why is it that you find life to be worth living?"
Is it so interesting to go through each day feeling anxious?
To the point that you feel nauseated enough to collapse.
Is it so joyous to spend each night staring at a blank ceiling,
Hearing the clock tick on toward morning,
And yet you lie awake.
Tired, but awake, emotionless, but awake...
Do you truly get up each day, facing it with optimism.
Or do you look at the news and the state of the world,
And genuinely fear for your safety?
Now, if it were me that you had asked my dear,
I'd tell you quite honestly: That I'd rather be dead.
At least I would not have to hear the white lie inside my head.
That tomorrow will bring me a 'better' day...
But of course, you are welcome to believe that.
TruthWe are often eager to surrender,Truth in Free Verse More Like This
Because the burden of choice is harsh.
We would rather blame others for our failings,
Instead of seeking an answer within our mistakes.
I am as guilty as anyone else when it comes to this.
How many days have I spent screaming at the darkness;
Spitting bitter words that blistered my own lips...
Even as my eyes grew clouded, shrouded by hate.
I railed against iron walls about a solitude I had created.
Anger became my mask for an open plea:
Because I simply wanted someone to acknowledge me...
Just StopSeriously.Just Stop in Free Verse More Like This
I understand your point of view,
And I will let you finish, I will,
But before I do, I want you to stop.
Just stop for a second and,
In the words of One Republic, 'stare'
Well, not RUDELY of course,
But take a moment to stop and stare at everything.
Is it really getting better?
With every facebook like, with every passage you spit.
Is everything really getting better?
I mean, I don't have the light of God inside me,
Nor do I have some higher ideal to guide me.
Man, I'm just some dumbass rapper living in a crappy apartment.
I ain't even sold a single song.
But from where I'm standing,
Every day is just getting a little bit harder.
Every family is just getting stretched a little bit thinner.
And if you're from the block that doesn't feel any of that.
Well, I hope you can see how privileged you are.
Having the time, energy and resources to complain;
That right there, is the real privilege.
hellfire inspirationUnder the showerhellfire inspiration in Free Verse More Like This
I contemplate, and conspire
Those things that bring creativity;
Like Hell, and the things it inspires.
summer memoriesup-ended sand castles,summer memories in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
kicking beach balls in the air
where did the summers go, my dear,
and how did we end up here?
diamonds sprinkled over the sea,
Lucy nowhere to be found,
can you truly love the nighttime
when I'm the only one who makes a sound?
I kept those letters from moons ago
the ones you told me to hide away
perhaps under my bed, underneath the floor
you were always straight and narrow
in love with my wind,
I made us sing, through the summer nights,
where you would find me and make love
XXIX - Happinesshappiness is foundXXIX - Happiness in Haiku & Eastern More Like This
when you can face the wide sky
and feel yourself there
braver than they whistling tunes, forgot to lock the doorbraver than they in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
kicked the mailbox as you walked by,
waving at the cat-caller
you walked from your world, all over the floor
you never heard the threats,
glazing over the oncoming storm
'love is love' you said with a smile,
the hissed response, 'it'll leave you deformed!'
what could creatures of hate
know of love,
when their practice is incestuous
21/447: Haven't you figured it out, yet?waiting for the rain to shine on through21/447: Haven't you figured it out, yet? in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
awake through the lunar eclipse,
what brought you here, fallen man,
so far from home and the river's bend?
don't you know there's a hole in the sun
that the heavens are crashing around your ears
can't you hear the vibration of the earth
shooting through your veins like spears?
does the universe not course through you
like tequila from the snowbanks
when your philosophy changes daily
and you can't determine your own rank?
history is doomed to repeat itself:
empires fall, kings are assassinated
what makes you think you can take the crown
when all it does it aggravate?
leaders are bred, not led
artists are once ingrates
we are ignorant of the world
poor shadows who only try to imitate.
burn your lists, live by your heart
you cannot schedule fate
we live by serendipity,
leave only love, not hate.
XVIII - Sorrowsorrow is fleetingXVIII - Sorrow in Haiku & Eastern More Like This
the sun will always shine on
when the clouds are grey
22/447: Freckles scholars tell us, stars do not truly fall22/447: Freckles in Free Verse More Like This
but how can that be when
they are dotted across your eyes?
and what manner of science
can disprove the map that has been drawn
across the curve of your shoulder?
I see the sun in your smile,
scattered across your spine
and kissed down your chin.
and when we cannot sleep at night,
I spend the twilight counting them all
each one my own lucky star.
Nearly missed love.The egg yolk yellow overhang flapped lazily in the breeze that had made its way up from the beach, stirring the plants that lined the convenient store front just down the street. A slow blinking ‘OPEN’ sign hung in the window, and a pair of shaded blue eyes glanced at it hesitantly before pushing open the small door that led her inside.Nearly missed love. in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
It was quaint and bustling; the small room must have had about twenty or so people inside, all chatting or sipping coffee or munching on breakfast. A long row of vinyl tables sat in the middle of the room, with a few two seaters ringing the perimeter of the room. A couple groups sat near the back, towards the kitchen, where she could watch the cooks moving quickly about their tasks. She hung back in the ever so small waiting area until a cheerful waitress waved her over to a spot open – directly in the middle of the row of tables. Feeling slightly out of place, she glanced around her while thumbing over the menu.
To her right was a cou
Thank You For BreathingI’m that trickle down your neck last week when you got upset.Thank You For Breathing in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
That friend you’ve never met;
That kid you teased for being a teachers pet.
That kid who stays quiet when you get on his nerves;
The one who never got picked first;
The best at being last; Never been late for class; never got noticed for staying on task.
Know that’s there’s something special about being different.
I can’t explain it; not sure if it’s a gift or curse. It’s
Something about it makes me want to pick up a pen and write verses.
I feel like maybe God entrusted this mission to us; something more than Church.
Something more than the outside can comprehend and so we lock ourselves in a hurricane.
To bring tears to its eye; Teen angst at its worst.
But before sunshine; the storm will always be first.
Life’s a game of stamina. Do you have the strength to run?
Life’s a game of stamina. Do you have the strength to run?
This is dedicated to the scars on every teen
Ghost ShipYou still ghost shipGhost Ship in Free Verse More Like This
I've been waiting
To drop anchor.
If I were your GodIf I were your God, I would make it rainIf I were your God in Free Verse More Like This
Vodka, so you’d be so drunk off life
That you’ll begin to realize that the only
Way to be saved is to save yourself.
I would switch Bible and Qurans,
Qurans and Torahs, So when you
Open them up in your hotel rooms,
You’ll realize words in a different language
Can be just as beautiful. I would
Give you broken wings. You’ll never
Be able to fly with them, but you’d start to see
That your purpose isn’t to fly in the sky,
You’re place is here, it’s now.
LonelyWas it a Friday night?Lonely in Free Verse More Like This
He couldn't remember.
There was rain,
He was riding on a crowded train,
But where was he going?
Lonely? I guess that's the word to describe his feelings,
Amidst a million voices,
But where's the ones he trusted?
A cold stare looks his way,
But as quickly as it happened,
It looked away.
He walks out, to hear the sound of drunken piano playing.
To the sight of drugged people,
To the cold shoulders of society.
In this city of lights, why is he feels so much darkness?
He attempts to scream out to somebody,
Does anyone hear?
His voice evaporates, the answer is clear.
A metal box flashes its lights upon him; then drives into the night.
He notices an unfinished meal scattered on the ground,
Abandoned, just like him,
Thrown away, just like him
Abandoned, just like him,
Thrown away, just like him.
ShadowsHer silhouette is beautiful.Shadows in Free Verse More Like This
Her eyes…when she cries are like ice.
A face frozen in time.
A wonder to behold.
She stares back at me with grey pupils.
Her brown hair dances in the wind.
She tells me she feels dead inside.
But to feel dead is alive.
Or so I’ve been told…
Feeling alone is alive.
To feel something is alive.
So I don’t push her away.
I motion her to come closer.
And she does
She creeps closer
Like the object that she is.
Like the robot that she is.
She tells me that she hates me.
I shrug it off. I don’t care.
But her words pierce me
She’s good at it
Like she’s Ares.
But we’re a single being,
Whether she likes it or not.
She is part of who I am.
I am part of who she is.
We’re made of each other,
We’re made for each other.
We see through each other like glass.
We understand each other’s darkness
Because we’ve experienced it together.
Ocean WaveYou passedOcean Wave in Free Verse More Like This
Like an ocean wave.
Open Letter To Asian-Canadians (And Everyone else)I grew up in a predominately Caucasian neighborhood, there were the occasional Black or Hispanic people who would show up, but it was dominated by French Canadians; you would be lucky to find another Asian family who weren’t related to you or family friends who you knew your entire life. Unlike most other Asian-Canadians I’ve come to know, my parents were both born and raised in Canada because of this I didn’t (and still don’t) know how to speak my mother tongue at all, short of a few words I picked up from my Grandparents when I was younger, I’m unable to communicate with them.Open Letter To Asian-Canadians (And Everyone else) in Emotional More Like This
I remember in first grade, I became particularly aware of my race. Kids in my class use to think my food would get them sick. One time, I brought in Sushi to school. One of the kids almost immediately after seeing me start eating ran up to me as I was eating. He bowed his head until it was about 2 inches away from my food and took about a 3 second sniff at it before backing away an
Mask Pt.2Dissolve these demonicMask Pt.2 in Free Verse More Like This
And we'll see
We all look the same.
But I've found
They aren't easily
I've found it too difficult
To undress these thoughts,
Instead, I wrap them
In jackets & scarves
To match this cold
A Ride Through Memory LaneOn and on I’ll wait.A Ride Through Memory Lane in Songs & Lyrics More Like This
Memoirs of a time
Where you were mine.
Couldn’t love you.
Couldn’t buy you.
When you said.
I don’t feel you anymore
I don’t feel you anymore
I’ll walk the dark path of mind.
Yes. It hurts But I’ll move on.
Close my eyes, and I’ll be fine.
I don’t fear you anymore
I don’t fear you anymore
Back here again, and I don’t know why, no oh.
These places remind me of you. They remind me of you.
I’ve gotta get out of this town.
I’ve gotta get out of this town.
I’ve gotta get out of this town.
I’ve gotta get out of this town.
I’ve gotta get out of this town.
I’ve gotta get out of this town.
april 18th, 2012.therapy:april 18th, 2012. in Emotional More Like This
"I'm not an artist. I'm just a kid with a keyboard."
“And, y'know, I’m probably not really sick.”
“I read a lot of books. I probably just act like this because I saw it somewhere on the Internet.”
“I just want to be more like my dad.”
“I’m really just a pathological crybaby who wants attention,” I tell you.
You say, “I think there are better ways to get attention than fake a mental disorder.”
“Maybe I’m doing it for fun.”
The problem isn’t that I need to see a therapist.
The problem is that I need to see a therapist because I dream about slamming your head into a tree.
Right after we broke up, you took me to the bike cage and promised me everything would be okay. Then you got together with that fifteen year old from Michigan and told our friends that I was a freak.
Slamming your head into a tree might be painful, but nothing will ever hurt more than kn
you loved someone.i.you loved someone. in Free Verse More Like This
Chloe is nineteen when she dies.
She ends it with a shotgun
the night her brother gets out
They say he molested her
he raped nine women
ten eleven twelve women
they say no
it was nine little girls
ten eleven twelve
little girls, kids, the bastard.
he was a bad man
“No wonder she did it.
If he was my blood
I’d’ve done it, too.”
You go to the funeral
because that’s what good people
because your mother asks you
“You want to go to Heaven,
without looking up from her knitting
and you would laugh in her face,
but she’s your mother
and you love her
so you go.
A man you know stops you –
a friend of John’s –
John, who is not yours anymore
(even now, even in death,
you know he’ll keep her
longer than he kept you)
on your way to the bathroom.
“John really loved her, y’know,” the man says
as if you wouldn
infinite/opposite.being an adult means knowinginfinite/opposite. in Free Verse More Like This
that there are things much scarier
than spiders, or snakes, or clowns.
the ocean, for one.
losing your parents.
empty tequila bottles.
waking up, still reaching
for someone who left you
a long time ago.
i live like there’s an end for me
because there is.
plants will wilt.
forests will burn down.
eventually, even the stars will burn out.
people will come to us.
they will touch us. they will hurt us.
they may keep us. they may not.
but i never hold on too tight
because when it’s time, my time,
i’ll only be letting go.
the heart has valves
that constantly open and close
giving love, taking love.
and my best advice
is to be selfish.
know when you’ve had enough.
know when you deserve better.
close the valves and
keep some love for yourself.
know that you are perfect
even if you eat that second cheeseburger
because there’s magic in this world.
we’re proof of it.
is fear o
quirks.when i was a child:quirks. in Free Verse More Like This
i loved to steal.
i would go around my neighborhood
and steal lawn ornaments.
at daycare, i would steal money
once, i stole my next door neighbor’s
when my parents confronted me,
the lie was smooth and solid:
i saw so-and-so take it.
when i was a child:
i loved to lie.
i would make up stories
to get reactions out of people.
to see if they’d believe me.
once, i convinced my friend charlotte
that i had twenty-four hours to live.
when she burst into tears,
i had to bite my tongue
to keep from laughing.
when i was a child:
i loved animals.
i would lock my dog in the closet
and in the bathroom.
a lot of my neighbors left birdcages out
during the day
so i set all of the birds free.
once, i imagined what it would be like
to kill an animal.
then, i imagined what it would be like
to run over it repeatedly
with a car
so i did it with my scooter
to a rose i found
because it was red
when i was a
zero.5. I think I'm afraid of sex.zero. in Emotional More Like This
It's terrifying that two people can fit together perfectly, without even really liking each other at all.
4. I'm afraid of the day I start replacing myself with somebody else in all of our pictures; of the day I'll see my reflection and wish I didn't have to.
3. I'm afraid of doctors, and medicine.
The first time I took lithium, I couldn't hold it down. So I locked the bathroom door and flushed the entire bottle.
The second time, I couldn't walk more than ten steps without falling.
Honestly, I'm just wondering why they use poison to purify me.
2. I'm afraid of the ocean.
I'm afraid of looking down one day, and not seeing the edges. Of there being nothing there.
I'm afraid of falling and having nothing to catch me.
There's already nobody. The ground is really all I have.
1. I'm afraid of breaking things.
Like, once, I broke my dad's trust in me.
Once I broke somebody's heart.
Once I broke my kindergarten teacher's favorite
listen:1.listen: in Free Verse More Like This
People will let you down.
You’ll love them, anyways.
Don’t let anyone romanticize
It won’t be beautiful
when somebody breaks your heart
the first time
or the second
or the eighteenth.
Pain is not beautiful.
Maybe on paper
but not inside of you
not in numbers.
A million people
but you’re still here,
and that's important.
You're doing something
My father told me
“Be selfish –
if you don’t take care of you
I liked to think
that this is the reason
he ignored me
I don’t have good advice
on this one.
Because the people who let you down,
are the ones promised to save you.
Are the ones promised to love you
and protect you
and I’ll tell you,
nothing quite hurts
like waking up in the morning
to the police in your doorway.
Nothing quite hurts
like being eleven
and hearing a cop say
“Poor girl had to live wi
things i want you to know.0.things i want you to know. in Free Verse More Like This
there is a picture in my living room
of my parents in their twenties, in sunhats,
there is a picture of my father holding me
when i was two years old.
there is a picture of my parents
on their wedding day.
there is a picture of me when i was
ten, eleven, twelve.
i’m seventeen now and
i won’t let my mother
take any of the pictures
i need to believe that, at one point,
this house was more than just
i was born on the second-to-last day
i weighed seven pounds, two ounces,
and it was ninety-nine degrees out.
four years before that, in 1992,
the officers who beat rodney king
within an inch of his life
five years before that, in 1991,
a cyclone in Bangladesh killed
138,000 people and made 10 million
ten years before that, in 1986,
a fire in a Los Angeles library
damaged more than 400,000
and on that day, april 29, 1996, i was born
and i’d like to pretend
that it was a go
United, We WriteHear me read itUnited, We Write in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
0hgravity, if by some divine fortune you should decide that today is the day you will fail me, then let me soar through the ChemicalSkyline. Grant me a-lovely-anxiety that raises a storm InTheStarryNightSky for me to riseandbe above all else. Let me soar.
How I long to be the frail rider-on-the-storm and not a victim of the RoamingShadow, Rogue-Of-The-Night, that BlackVelvetNightmare of my nights and days. I long
How Do You Like Your Eggs In The Morning?Sunnyside up.How Do You Like Your Eggs In The Morning? in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
The pan was still warm when I dropped it into the sink. We had eggs. You had them sunnyside up, but I couldn't bear runny egg whites and so I had scrambled. Just in case. You found your right shoe and left. I sat at the kitchen table drumming my fingers against the buttercup plastic cloth and thought about Life with a capital L. What was it all about?
I started to think of breakfast as a metaphor for us. You had it all together. Sunnyside up. I was scrambled. A convoluted tick of a person. I started to consider my life as being thoroughly forked. I watched the birds outside the kitchen window for a while and did not relate them to what I had just eaten. After a long slither of time had passed I got up and washed the pan until the eggs were gone. You never came back. I learnt not to mind.
TakenIt was just a strategic readjustment.Taken in Free Verse More Like This
It was just a necessary tactical move.
It was just your finger moving half an inch left
and curling slightly.
It was just the centimeter or two of difference
between the moment that just was,
and the one that is,
but you reached for my hand
and you took my heart.
Just Don'tDon't tell the people that they are close to God.Just Don't in Free Verse More Like This
Don't tell them that he hears
the half-broken whimper from their strangled voice box
that is wrapped tightly shut
( so the demons don't hear and intercept our hopes )
with the fraying cord of our dreams. Don't.
Don't tell the people that they can be heard.
Don't tell the ants
that the watchful eyes that hover above them know nothing
of their struggle
and do nothing to assist them.
Do not break their dorsal aortas with your clumsy
malnourished ideas about eternal love. Don't.
Don't tell the people that they can be heard.
Don't hope to cure meningitis
and malaria with a well-placed verb
or a splinter of metal into vertebrae.
Some people are not to be saved that way.
Don't tell the people that are close to the
FineI walked home in the middle of the street again,Fine in Free Verse More Like This
with the listless pumping forward that comes from muscles hollowed out -
I didn't care if the cars hit me.
I wasn't seeking death I just stopped actively avoiding it again,
I just walked
with the restless wondering about headlights and obituaries
and the questions about whether or not I'd be loved once I did the world the favour
of not being so inconvenient as to continue to breathe.
If I could swim home in the malaise, or if I could be struck down
into a sudden and permanent state of something other than depression -
either would be fine...
Either would be fine.
Between DaysSlip a needle between the spaceBetween Days in Free Verse More Like This
of fingernail and flesh
in the spaces in between,
you are not dead yet.
In parallel worlds,
in that moment before awakeness
after a night spent dancing in stars,
and in my mortician's-prize heart
you are not yet dead.
So wrangle metal between then
and pump serotonin and coke
until my eyes fill up with the life left over,
the rounded up edges of years stolen.
The uppers aren't working
I'm under, under, over whelmed,
I stay awake all night, frozen animation -
guess I always will imitate you.
So I razed back my skin
til the raw bits seep out
and it doesn't hurt so much to be me,
to be me, without you.
To introduce myself, as myself
and not as a part of you.
Let's do that.
Let's soak rags in chemicals
that slow your brain down so far
that they forget things -
I'll sacrifice two decades
if you trade me for another day.
Another day to slip in between
the moment of supernova
when the world went so beautifically
and the moment when
my lovebird heart
Without Her (YouTube link included)You could ask my father what it’s like to heave a tangle of swollen limbs uphill in his arms. You could ask him how you carry a child’s wheelchair, still occupied and squirming. You could ask about the muscles burning in the back of legs and the shoulders and the wrists. You could.Without Her (YouTube link included) in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
You could ask him to tell you how slowly I walk, how my feet got stuck in mud pools often, how I complained at carrying myself so far whilst he carried himself and her. You could, but don’t. I am ashamed to hear of it.
You could ask my sister why she laughed so hard when a sprite of wind stole a handful of crisps from her packet and threw them up into the air. You could ask her what she saw in that potato confetti as it soared over the cliff edge and tumbled into the sea. You could ask her why it took her so long to realise that they were gone. Why it took so long to realise that crisps dashed on rock blades can’t be fisted into wet mouths and tasted. Their salt dissolves into the oce
The SundancersThe sundancers crease the sky ephemerallyThe Sundancers in Free Verse More Like This
and stain the floor with their bravery, eternally.
Unwilling AwakenessThe sea never falls asleepUnwilling Awakeness in Free Verse More Like This
it shuffles, half drowning
in its own unspent dreams,
trying desperately to stay afloat
its glittering eyes reflecting stars
as it shudders and groans
under the weight of another day,
as the sun turns to treacle
and spreads itself thinly
across its ridge-d-back.
It tumbles and trips over,
clumsy in its deprivation state,
and tosses its limbs, its head,
over and again. It stays awake.
It can't afford to dream of rain
drumming upon its lonely door
to accompany it for eternity,
No. The sea can never fall asleep.
Beyond LoveYou say 'beautiful' like a mistake -Beyond Love in Free Verse More Like This
like it slipped out unwarranted
from those dark parts of your mind
that you don't want me to go to,
you say it like that.
You caress like it's worship -
like if you pressed too hard
or took too much, you'd pay the price
and I love those urgent times when
you're willing to pay it.
You teach me love like I'll die without it -
like if you don't defrost me
and my frozen image of myself,
then I might stop breathing
and extinguish beneath my own icy damnation.
You kiss me like you have to -
like we're sharing an oxygen tank
in a toxic, broken-down universe
and you are trying not to breathe
to save me.
You kiss me like that.
You love me, like that -
how am I supposed to resist
a man who loves me beyond his own sense
and senses - beyond love ?
NumbWhat is this feeling?Numb in Free Verse More Like This
I don't understand.
I want to explain
But I don't think I can.
Is it really true?
Am I turning this numb?
It just can't be!
I must feel some!
Why is this happening?
Why can't I feel?
Is this all just a dream
Or is all of this real?
Someone please tell me.
Please help me feel.
I'm so tired of feeling numb.
I just wanna heal.
The pain, the sorrow,
The joy, the tears.
Yes! I want all of them!
Even all the fears!
I'm so wanting,
Longing to feel again.
This curse is so haunting,
It's like a dead end.
So, if I were you,
Be glad you can feel.
Be thankful you're not numb.
At least you are real.
Don't try to change me.I am an artist...Don't try to change me. in Free Verse More Like This
But I'm afraid you do not understand that this is how I express myself.
You don't know the pain that you put me through.
How you criticize me everyday,most especially my muse.
You don't know how much it hurts!
You don't know my struggles, my fears, my hopes
And even if you did know them, you would never understand.
My muse, however, understands me.
My beloved never criticized me, despised me or ridiculed me like you did.
Whenever I was lonely or needed a hand to hold, my muse was ALWAYS there.
I was never abandoned, never forgotten, always forgiven and welcomed.
Caressed every time something was wrong and kissed every night before bed.
The only problem is YOU!!!
You try to separate us just because we're different, you don't understand our love.
How could you when you never even tried to?
Why can't you just leave us be and let us love each other to our heart's content?
To the person who holds my best friend's heart...I know that is is kind of weirdTo the person who holds my best friend's heart... in Free Verse More Like This
But I felt that I should write this down.
I need to tell you what I feel
And tell you what he means to me.
He's my best friend and he's a good man.
Please, give him the love and respect he deserves.
He may seem goofy but he's very sweet.
I know this because he was always there for me when I was sad.
Now, I know that you're not bad
Cause he would never choose someone who's mean.
But I still want to tell you just in case you forget in the future;
Please don't break his heart.
He's been through so much
And he doesn't deserve something like that.
He is the kind of person who smiles even when he's hurt by others
And would take any pain for the people he loves.
I know, I've witnessed it.
I know he may seem kind of childish sometimes
But don't let it get to you.
It's just his way of expressing himself.
He's very caring and I'm sure he'll do anything to make you happy.
He doesn't look like it but he's very kind and thoughtful.
He'll put your needs before h