DisappearWishing to disappearDisappear in Free Verse More Like This
never to existed in their mind
no reason to cheer
this is why I was designed
there's a cloud over me and its raining knives
all smiles are faked
no one hears his cry's
as he sits there shivers and shakes
doesn't even try to reach out because there's nothing there
only my own numb stare
no desire to fight the devils wrenches
would anyone notice if I could disappear
because Im starting to feel warm in these trenches
would they even shed a tear?
Sick of the acting
let me compost with the dirt
live????..... ill think Ill be passing
lets make sure this hurts
still wishing to disappear
lets seal this coffin with a drop of blood and a tear
I'm Fine"Are you okay?"I'm Fine in Free Verse More Like This
No. I'm dying. I have to push myself to wake up in the morning, and when I finally do, I want to go back to sleep. Even my best dreams are becoming nightmares. I can't taste food, I can't stand the things I used to love. I'm breaking. I'm fading. I'm dying.
Me.Anorexic.Me. in Free Verse More Like This
Hurt...Why is it,Hurt... in Free Verse More Like This
That when you try your best
Not to hurt a soul...
You end up getting hurt
More than anybody else?
What Happened?I used to think make upWhat Happened? in Free Verse More Like This
Made people ugly.
Now I think I'm ugly without it.
I used to think people
Always loved me.
Now I think everyone hates me.
I used to think everybody
Was my best friend.
Now I think no one truly is.
I used to think
Boys were icky!
Now I wish I had one.
What happened to being
AnorexiaMeet a girl named No One, with a heart of shattered stoneAnorexia in Free Verse More Like This
Staring at the other girl, the one that's not alone
Girl with skin that glistens, with the eyes of crystal seas
Grin of shining diamonds and a laugh like a disease
Flashes just a glance and soon, she's every trouble's cure
She has everything… and No One's off to be like her.
Eating turns into a crime, she'd rather be away
Thrusting fingers down her throat to make herself okay
Watching as her very bones are seen behind her flesh
There she drowns in tears, for she has not yet seen success.
Minutes turn to hours, and these hours turn to days
Every moment slipping, slowly fading into grey
Rapidly, her body turns to nothing but her bones
As she fights for beauty, as she battles for the throne.
Broken hearts must learn to beat, and this she came to know
Learning it the hard way when her heartbeat grew too slow
Yet, she somehow managed still to shine from what's within
Lying in her casket with her hidden, unseen sin.
Final thoughts ins
Canvas Is The MirrorA canvas is a mirrorCanvas Is The Mirror in Free Verse More Like This
The paint drips down with my reflection
The canvas is my mirror
But only because
The canvas is me.
The canvas is your mirror
As the brush tickles its surface
The canvas is our mirror
The canvas is a mirror
The depth of the artwork stares back into my
After all, I do not paint a canvas
Because the canvas
You'll Never Understand...You'll never understand...You'll Never Understand... in Free Verse More Like This
But I'm glad you don't.
Because that would mean
You'd have to go through my pain.
And I'd never wish that
I am not a stereotypeSlide the blade across your wrist.I am not a stereotype in Free Verse More Like This
"Doesn't it hurt?"
I can't feel anything.
Punch your own stomach.
Does it hurt yet?
"Why do you do that?"
The pain makes me feel alive.
"I don't know."
"What's wrong with you?"
I'm dead inside.
I'm just depressed.
Stare at your arms.
"What are you doing?"
I just have low self esteem.
I'm just human.
I'm just me.
Sick of societyI may live inside my own, twisted universeSick of society in Free Verse More Like This
I may change, sometimes for the worst.
What's normal to me is not normal for you.
Sometimes I just do what I need to do.
Behind a brick wall, I hoped someone would break it
I threw out my heart hoping someone would take it.
But I got tired of hiding and tired of hating
And instead of throwing myself at every guy, I'm waiting.
I'm sick of the person I tried to be
So basically, here I am, I will be me
I'm sick of the hatred, would you not agree?
.. Basically I'm sick of society.
Between The LinesSix years old,Between The Lines in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
tired and cold
a girl stood with rags and bruises.
She turned to stare,
tried not to care
beside her the mommy who always uses.
She happened to see,
a mother of three
tied down by the 'devils' on her sleeve.
The little girl asked,
desire well masked
why must they ruin Christmas Eve?
No answer ever came,
only silence to blame
and mommy walked on without one word.
The little girl followed,
a large gulp now swallowed
left her question hanging and simply unheard.
Creature ComfortDown into the depths of her mindCreature Comfort in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
lives a creature who's not very kind
His fangs are sharp and ready to slice
been there, done that more than thrice
This little monster isn't all that rare
he shows up in school, dreams, nightmares
The teachers always said she was out of tune
already gone but much too soon
In their thoughts they held her soul close by
made sure she was fine but hoped not to pry
Now, she's still alive, hanging by a string
a tired angel flying with only one wing
You'd think her peers would want to stop in
Take a little time to wash her of sin
Maybe tell a tale or grasp her hand
stare for a while at her wristband
As much as I'd love to tell you a lie
they never said anything but “try not to die”
Her parents, oh God, they were the worst
only came once to sit and to curse
A phone call or two, but that was the end
they were scared their little girl wasn't on mend
This made her sad, afraid of it being her fault
that she had to go and bring her life to a halt
Mirror, MirrorMirror, mirror, on the wallMirror, Mirror in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Why can't I be nice and tall?
Mirror, mirror, hear my cries
Everything they've said are lies.
Mirror, mirror, do I dare
Ask for longer, prettier hair?
Mirror, mirror, can't you see
This fat is really hurting me.
Mirror, mirror, did you know
This sadness isn't just for show?
Mirror, mirror, let me shrink
Just force it all down the sink.
Mirror, mirror, I can't eat
Does that mean I am petite?
Mirror, mirror, look at that
All I see is tons of fat.
Mirror, mirror, fuck it all
Won't they love me when I'm small?
Mirror, mirror, feel my thighs
I want to be a smaller size.
Mirror, mirror, do you care
About how this world is so unfair?
Mirror, mirror, hear my plea
There's just too much I can't be.
Mirror, mirror, I'm called 'hoe'
Just for wearing a dress cut low?
Mirror, mirror, I won't drink
I'm getting closer to the brink.
Mirror, mirror, please press delete
Am I slowly realizing defeat?
Mirror, mirror, let us chat
Listen for why I want my stomach flat.
CheersHere's to the mother who never caredCheers in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
The brother and sister who wouldn't share
Here's to the teachers who never asked
The students and peers who always passed
Here's to the man who sat on the road
The homeless and weak who cracked the code
Here's to the animals who sat by my side
The big and small ones who held me as I cried
Here's to the father who wanted to know why
The nieces and nephews who waved goodbye
Here's to the counselors who wanted to hear
The faculty and staff who shed not a tear
Here's to the woman who grasped the hard truth
The doctor and nurse who labeled my papers “Ruth”
Here's to the teddy who grasped my hand
The lions and tigers who could understand
Here's to the bully who prayed for my death
The mean and cruel who still called me “Seth”
Here's to the people who prayed not for me
The good and evil whose 'morals' I couldn't see
Here's to the gates who opened their arms
The angels and guardians who meant no harm
Here's to the God who opened his
Leave.Leave me alone!Leave. in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Is that so hard to do?!
You don’t care about my feelings,
They are nothing to you!
What have I done wrong?
I just want you to leave,
You hurt me more and more,
So how can I believe?
Your words mean nothing,
Your apologies are fake,
Just stay away from me!
How much pain can I take?!
You got what you wanted,
But what about me?
I only want one thing,
I want to be free!
I can’t take it anymore!
Every night and day,
You just refuse to leave,
So at least stay away!
Mask.I am not happy,Mask. in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
But I still smile,
I am stuck here,
In constant denial.
“Yes, I am fine”,
I smile and say,
I lie to your face,
So you go away.
I hide my face,
Behind this mask,
Keeping the lies,
Is no easy task.
I take it off,
You do not care,
And if I complain,
“Life is not fair”.
Call me a friend,
You do not even try,
Leaving me alone,
Leaving to die.
Time's up.The clock is counting down,Time's up. in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Your moments pass bye,
There is nothing you can do,
You’re about to die…
Grabbing my knife,
Aiming at your head,
You have no last words,
Since you’re already dead…
Asking you the question,
Like I asked before,
You gave me no answer,
So you are no more…
Looking in your eyes,
And your tears fall down,
I will have no mercy,
You will be long gone…
Slicing you down,
From bottom to top,
You had your chance,
But your time is up…
Hard TimesI see you’ve been weeping for some time nowHard Times in Free Verse More Like This
You’re all torn out and cold
Even if all you see is darkness
You’re the bit of light that’s shining
And I know you don’t have control
But you can't just let go
Because if one day you do, you might lose yourself
Then I’ll be left alone, with no one to hold.
Please, don't give up.You’re not alone, even if you feel such sorrowPlease, don't give up. in Free Verse More Like This
Please try to calm your mind and forget about tomorrow
I know that life can hurt, but from my happiness you can borrow
Please don't cry anymore, I will help you with the troublesome morrow
Even if the bad seem to be everywhere you go
Just keep in mind that you have to stay away from what’s below
And I know that you’ll learn from these bad experiences
So then you can help those who are inexperienced
Please don’t be sad, everyone has a reason for his or her existence
You can’t ever give up, push through and have resistance
The worst thing you could do is to lose all of your hope
Just promise me that you will try to never mope
First friend, first loveI’ve been sitting alone for so longFirst friend, first love in Free Verse More Like This
That I’ve forgotten the meaning of "friend"
But just when I started to think I don’t belong
You became a person that I could befriend
But as time passed along, you seemed like more to me
My heart would grow warm, every time we’d speak
But I just don’t know if we could ever be
But I’ll take the first step, to start something unique
Lately...Lately I've been thinking, if the stepsLately... in Free Verse More Like This
That I've taken were meaningful at all
I'm not sure if my conscience helps me anymore
Maybe faith is guiding me through this storm
My heart feels like it's being torn
By the one who I've cared about the most
Shattered heartWith this broken heart I'll keep moving onShattered heart in Free Verse More Like This
And the scar you left me will help me become strong
For my heart used to be so numb, but then you showed me love
Sadly then you shattered it, once you saw I held you dear
But I hope you don't regret what you have done
For what I felt, you'll only receive it once
Lend me a kissLend me your sweet lipsLend me a kiss in Free Verse More Like This
Give me a soft kiss
Stay with me till the end
Let's stop playing pretend
Don't let my heart break
Let's learn from our mistakes
I'll let your love embrace
Mend me with your lovely grace
They never leave my mind
Your cherry colored lips
The roses that I have picked
And the sweetness that one day I'll kiss
On rainy days...I look out the window and see the liquid dropsOn rainy days... in Free Verse More Like This
I hear the soothing sounds that calms my thoughts
It helps my feather heart to keep its strength
As long I keep my conscious clear my faith won’t go away
Because these are the days when I wonder the most
About my life choices and all I ever hope
The rain keeps my sanity from being overthrown
By anything troublesome and keep a peaceful tone
The stars and planetsMy mind disconnects when stars are revealed at nightThe stars and planets in Free Verse More Like This
And millions and millions of planets, so distant and bright
And for us to be told we’re alone in the universe is a lie
There must be another species, that’s something we can’t deny
But some of us, with curiosity filling our minds
Investigates these stars, these planets
Hoping to find something hidden, something new for mankind
But some even fear, that which lies hidden is our end
But I do not know what to believe
They could bring peace, or tragedy
Though, from what we’ve seen, they are their own worst enemy
From these self-proclaimed “human beings”
The end of a worldAs I look out the window and see the clouds of smokeThe end of a world in Free Verse More Like This
People are leaving their house,
With their face drained of hope
Close by I see people crying,
In the distance I hear people screaming
The worst is happening,
Only this time we’re not dreaming
The faithful are gathering,
Holding hands and praying
The tainted are bargaining,
Taking anything that can be taken
The weak are jumping off buildings,
Leaving blood on the pavement
Large scale of suicides
Whether by knife, gun, or hanging
It’s anarchy out there
And it has only begun
I’m damned to the flames
Because my sins can’t be undone
A prince's rebellionGrip your swordA prince's rebellion in Free Verse More Like This
And fulfill what you’ve sworn
To protect the kingdom
From your descendants souls.
Since birth you've been surrounded by lies and deception
And now you’ve grown to see the abuse of my authority
Now you’ve grown, to kill the one who raised you
But with little hesitation, for my forgiveness is scarce.
I’ve seen you grow; you’ve seen me be cold
When I held you warm, I sacrificed them all
When I was going to give you the kingdom, you revolted against the old
Like I was once told, my son shall become my biggest foe!
Society is ScreamingSociety is screaming so loud, I can hear it internallySociety is Screaming in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Inside my mind, bouncing off the boundaries
All the dishonor, poverty, lies and disgust sound eternally
I tell the world, warn them of this coming storm, they tell me it's imaginary
The ones who are here to help, they lie through their teeth and lungs
Lock me in, "fixing" me up, sending my mind reeling
Defiantly I fight, bare arms and legs, as they fill me with drugs
They've sent me so far from home, I'm so numb, I can't even feel my feelings
My mind is overflowing with images I don't own
I remain silent, let them believe it's working
Moving slowly through this twisted life I now know
Don't let them in, your soul is still here, in the shadows, lurking
I somber out of the bright white building, fake hope on medication
The pills they gave me, go into the trash, along with my trust in this world
I look for others, minds alike, prepare this movement for fortification
Inside this prison, my ideas have lifted, gotten up and swirled
LungsMaybe ifLungs in Free Verse More Like This
a little more
(or maybe we'd just go broke).
SavedYour tangled up soulSaved in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
has taken a toll,
Hiding dark and deep
the secrets you keep
The tears you have shed
from thoughts in your head,
Dear they were all fiction:
a made up addiction
I want you to know
I see through the show,
I know that your eyes
tell genuine lies
I watch as you feign
as you’re still in pain,
And my soul will be too
until I have saved you
Pretty metaphors are for pretty girlsI told you to stopPretty metaphors are for pretty girls in Free Verse More Like This
spewing pretty metaphors at me,
for with each elaborate comparison,
I feel a bit more
detached from this world
And maybe I don’t feel so strong at the moment,
but would you be
if you felt like the entire universe
was resting upon your shoulders,
and someone was just there saying:
But you’re stronger than the powerful beats
of a butterfly’s wings
And maybe I do need more confidence,
but would you exuberate it
when the part you hated most about yourself
were the freckles that have speckled your face for years,
and someone was just there muttering:
They’re not flaws,
but rather stars that form constellations
Yes, I can’t help but hate
all those unrealistic metaphors
you choose to pelt at me when I’m low,
yet the irony is,
I know that those beautiful words
are realistic in your eyes,
So I can’t hate you.
VeinsI wishVeins in Free Verse More Like This
of ocean blue
flowed not just
to my heart,
Bad HabitI think I was your drink of fine wine,Bad Habit in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
only used when needed from time to time
I'd get you tipsy, as stars collide
Your drunk, slurred words
blending in with mine
(I couldn't even comprehend
when you said it wouldn't happen again)
I think I was your cigarette break
when anxiety filled,
from me, you'd take
One puff here, and one puff there
(I could barely hear
when you said, "I'm sorry, dear")
I think I was your line of cocaine,
thinking I'd be there to ease your pain
I'd bring you higher,
head suspended in clouds
(So I knew it was fake,
when you said, "It was my mistake")
I think I was your bad habit,
and ignorantly, you were mine
You continue to relapse, my dear
But rest assured:
I won't this time.
Apologies to a friendYou pour your heart out to me,Apologies to a friend in Free Verse More Like This
and are willing
to submerge me
in an ocean
yet when I see the water
rushing towards me,
I convince myself
I don't like
Sheets“I adore you,”Sheets in Free Verse More Like This
she said, whimsically twisted in the rippled gossamer sheets of their bed.
And in these words were memories of weather-worn love letters,
long kisses with smeared roseate lipstick,
and layered mascara outlining her chatoyant eyes,
for he loved the way it looked.
she said months later, tightly grasping the rippled gossamer sheets of her bed.
And in these words were soiled and crumpled goodbye notes,
untarnished roseate lipstick on her opulent lips,
and smeared mascara, creating an ashy mess on her pillowcase,
for who cares if he used to love the way it looked.
She whispered to empty sheets,
“I meant abhor you.”
It's Okay to be ImperfectThe moonIt's Okay to be Imperfect in Free Verse More Like This
A message to the brokenYou drown yourselfA message to the broken in Free Verse More Like This
in liquid sorrows,
letting the salty mess
burn your wounds,
and the sadness
to drip in your mouth,
consuming your words
and you say
you deserve the pain,
but I want to dry your face,
and whisper in your ear
how the clouds cry too,
while they hold such beauty,
and so do you.