When I SaidWhen I said I wanted a fairy tale
I meant I wanted a prince.
I didn't want to be locked in a
I didn't want to be fought by a
I didn't want
When I said I wanted a fairy tale
I meant I wanted to be a princess.
I didn't want to watch a rose
I didn't want to wear the gown
I wanted it
When I said I wanted a fairy tale...
I expected it to end in a
But i never expected it to end like this.
The Face At The DoorThe face at the door is a demon, a godThe Face At The Door in Free Verse More Like This
He smiles through stitches, his stare rather odd
The face at the door is a cruel, silent being
Yet, people are calm, and the children aren't fleeing
Quiet yourself, for you're the only one
Crying for help at the point of a gun
Learn how to fly, rather, learn how to fall,
The face at the door... well... there's no face at all.
Attention Seeker"Attention seeker."Attention Seeker in Free Verse More Like This
As I slide the knife across my tongue
The poison resting in my lungs
Fighting till the war's been won
But you're right, this is all done for fun.
The rope around my neck as I pull it tight
The struggles I face as I die to fight
And slowly, I fade off into a dark night...
Goodbye, smiles, goodbye, light...
Dying, breaking, losing sight
Of all that's proper, all that's bright
With all my strength and all my might..
I mean, I do this for attention.. right?
No Longer a Little GirlDear imagination, can't you be the thing you wereNo Longer a Little Girl in Free Verse More Like This
Butterflies and daffodils and happiness so pure
Sunny skies and lullabies and dreams of what could be
Hidden worlds and wonderlands of things they couldn't see
Shining gowns and silver crowns for dancing with the prince
Twirling with excitement, though the others weren't convinced
Dear intimidation, did you find it to be true
All I ever needed was an overdose of you
Silly stares and laughter slowly flood a child's mind
Making me abandon every daydream I could find
Lost beneath the shadows of the sky so dark and dead
Far too weak to turn around, yet scared of things ahead
Dear destructive tendencies, I feel it's time to hear
You were all I had when nothing else seemed to be near
Everything so out of reach, too far for me to see
I decided I would choose the needle next to me
Slicing through my very skin to feel something once more
Weeping through the satisfaction I could not ignore
Dear imagination, can't you be the thing you were?
Words on the WallThe sun melted into the glamorous skyWords on the Wall in Free Verse More Like This
The moon stood there, hidden by sweet lullabies.
But mommy was crying, her day had been hard
The tears in her eyes twinkled just like the stars.
Her face wasn't happy like it should have been
And though she was saddened, she forcefully grinned.
I wanted to see Mommy smile through it all...
I painted a picture on her bedroom walls.
I told her to look, just to come in and see
But Mommy was angry... she wasn't happy.
She threw me down hard on the cold wooden floor
Then picked me up, slamming my head on the door.
She yelled and she screamed, then she hit me once more
She slapped me till I couldn't see anymore.
My heart then stopped beating, my laugh went unheard
Then Mommy got up without saying a word.
She looked at the walls splattered with my young blood
Then fell to the ground in her tears with a thud.
She looked at my face, then she looked all around
Then wrote on the walls with the first thing she found.
Then, after she finished, she wanted self h
Good Enough... for YOU.As I sit here cradling the blade in my handsGood Enough... for YOU. in Free Verse More Like This
Treasuring the moments I wish that I had
I can't stop growing more lost and confused
I can't stop thinking... am I good enough for you?
As I sit here, wrapping the rope around my neck
No one will understand a meaning so complex
I simply can't stop thinking about it somehow
Thinking, am I good enough for you now?
As I sit here, pulling the trigger on the gun
I think, maybe I was never meant for "the one"...
goes the bullet.
For when I think it through...
I really won't ever be good enough for you.
AsylumWho are you?Asylum in Free Verse More Like This
Where are you?
What... are you?
The blinding white walls
Closing in on you
Who are you?
Certainly not that
happy little girl
jumping through fairy tales
as a sunset paints the silver sky.
Where are you?
Definitely not where
you'd want to be.
What are you?
Blood, scars, wounds.
All you see are shadows
In a room of white walls...
And Daddy always lied.My legs are covered in bruisesAnd Daddy always lied. in Free Verse More Like This
And I have a scar by my left eye.
I’m not allowed to smile, though
And I’m not allowed to cry.
I think my right arm’s broken
But shh, don’t tell my dad.
He doesn’t like to worry bout me
When he’s already mad.
I have a burn on my left wrist
From when he pushed my arm
Against the stove, the hot, hot stove
And did a bit of harm.
I have a bear, a teddy bear.
He doesn’t have a name.
He makes me better every time
I’m feeling hurt and shame.
Today, my dad came home kind of late
A beer still in his hand.
I closed my eyes and waited.
He screamed, he shouted, and…
Well, my name is Mary Starr
And this is how I died.
But daddy always loved me.
And daddy always lied.
Sometimes, when I'm sadSometimes, when I'm sadSometimes, when I'm sad in Free Verse More Like This
I remember that one time,
All I had to worry about was
If the bubbles I had blown, were about to
Sometimes, when I'm sad
I remember that one time,
I began to worry about the day that
My childhood would simply
Sometimes, when I'm sad
I remember that some day,
When I'm sitting with my husband
In the old old house... my days will simply
And that day,
The day when my heartbeat is
The day when my breath
Truly gets taken away.
That's the day
When my worries, my concerns, my fears...
Are You?I'm sorry,Are You? in Free Verse More Like This
that I'm not
I'm not a supermodel.
that I'm not
I'm not a comedian.
that I'm not
that I'm not
that I'm not
I'm not perfect.
What Happened?I used to think make upWhat Happened? in Free Verse More Like This
Made people ugly.
Now I think I'm ugly without it.
I used to think people
Always loved me.
Now I think everyone hates me.
I used to think everybody
Was my best friend.
Now I think no one truly is.
I used to think
Boys were icky!
Now I wish I had one.
What happened to being
UselessI'm a cutterUseless in Free Verse More Like This
That's all I'll ever be
Once you've learnt that
Defining fact about me.
You'll call me mad
Assume that I'm sad
And that I want
You'll check my arms
Only matters if you can see
But I can hide them
All over me.
You'll think I'm sick
Sick in the head
And that makes me feel
Like I want to be dead.
I don't do it
I don't do it
For a mention
I don't do it
I do it because of
That it's cast over me.
We Are/You Aren'tWe are the unwanted, the brokenWe Are/You Aren't in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
The ones you forgot about.
So don't be too surprised when we
Start to scream and shout.
We are the living, the dying
The ones you all put down.
But you'll know who we are when we
Run this goddamn town.
We are the corpses, the maggots
The ones you all despise.
But you'll be the ones scared when we
Expose all your lies.
We are the hunted, the lost
The ones you all spurn.
But you'll cry for our help when we
Leave you all to burn.
We are the losers, the winners
The ones that you deny.
But you'll be the ones damned when we
Hear the angels cry.
Such a ContradictionI'm just that fat kidSuch a Contradiction in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Starved of hope.
I'm just that cutter
Reaching for rope.
I'm just that dumb blonde
Reading all night.
I'm just that coward
Bleeding for a fright.
I'm just that child
I'm just that girl
With messy hair.
I'm just that burner
Wanting to be cool.
I'm just that geek
Scared of school.
I'm just that emo
Smiling with glee.
You're just another drone
But you'll never be me.
Things I'll Never SayThere are certain things I’ll never say,Things I'll Never Say in Free Verse More Like This
Like how I thought about killing myself today
Just to keep my own scary thoughts away.
Like how I stay awake way too late
To be sure I don’t awake in a bloody state.
Like how I soaked white into red last night
And turned myself into a ghastly sight.
Like how it hurts too much to breathe
When I make my own skin seethe.
Like how I Google things I shouldn’t
When I want to do things I couldn’t.
Like how I’m scared of being alone
Yet I’m only happy when I’m on my own.
Like how I know I’ll wind up killing myself
And turn into just a dusty photo on a dusty shelf.
Like how I make myself bleed every day
Even though I know I can’t go on this way.
Like how I maybe want someone to see
And for them to somehow help me.
But nobody will ever help me,
Because those are all the things I’ll never say.
Cross My WristsCross my wrists and hope to die,Cross My Wrists in Free Verse More Like This
I will only ever lie
When you ask me if I’m fine
Or if I like this life of mine.
If I had a gun,
I’d put it to my head
And turn bouncy blonde,
Into ruby red.
You want me to stop cutting;
I’ll stop when I’m dead.
The last time I’ll cut
Will be the last thing I see
When I finally put an end to me.
Dying sounds good right now,
Just fading into black
And never coming back
To the agony living brings.
Perhaps you’ll find me hanging,
Or after OD’ing;
Someday soon you’ll find me,
It’s too late now,
I’m too far gone.
Now I’m just a ghost
Of who could’ve been someone.
ThousandsI'm sixteen,Thousands in Free Verse More Like This
Doubt I'll see thirty
Hopefully my blade'll be dirty
And I'll die.
I don't want to die;
Just want it to stop,
Everything in my head
Telling me I'm better off dead.
I cut myself,
I said it.
Just read it.
I'm just some kid
Behind a screen,
So why should you care?
I'm not just 'some kid';
I'm the ones people laugh at,
I'm not a minority;
I'm a majority.
All those kids alone,
That death will come.
We're not hopeless.
We hope for
TodayI saw something in the mirror today that kinda creeped me out.Today in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
It was a girl wearing a smile, not a frown nor a pout.
Her eyes were wide and shining, just as a summer sun.
Her laugh wasn't wooden and fake, but true and full of fun.
Her irises reflected happiness, not a trace of pain.
She was under perfect skies; not a drop of rain.
Angels swam around her, keeping the devil at bay.
Her life was precious and she wasn't throwing it away.
Her lips were red and shinging with a pure smile.
It was a sight her mirror hadn't seen in a very long while.
She wasn't at all pretty but a care she did not give.
Because today she woke up and said, "Today I am going to live."
Hope (I Won't)I won't let a razor bladeHope (I Won't) in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Take away this life I've made.
I won't let the shame and guilt
Ruin everything I've built.
I won't let being wrong
Stop me from being strong.
I won't let sorrow and pain
Resurrect the demons that I've slain.
I won't let ugly spite
Tell me that I'm not right.
I won't let the dark past
Make my endless hurt last.
I won't let this noose
Leave me hanging loose.
I won't let the world win;
My life is only just about to begin.
How to Make it HurtOh dear, Daddy, look what I did!How to Make it Hurt in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Sorry, I forgot you don’t care
And that I’m just your bastard kid.
Oh no, Mummy, I miss you too much!
I ache for what I cannot have;
Your soft, gentle, loving touch.
Hey, God, I’m going to hell!
‘Cause I hurt myself
And others as well.
Sorry, Friend, for all I’ve done!
I never ever listened
And now two will be one.
Goodbye, Bitch, I hate you!
I hope you’ll cry,
You’ve made me cry too.
Hello, Dark Thoughts, I’ll let you in!
Help this hurt less,
Help me let them all win.
RespectRespect is somethingRespect in Free Verse More Like This
We are all owed
Until we don’t deserve it.
Be respectful of other people,
And they’ll respect you.
Respect everyone, regardless
Of their point of view.
There’s a difference
And ‘freedom of speech’,
Of which I’m pretty sure
Silencing others with hate
Would be considered a breach.
You’re not a little kid.
You’re above bullying
And pushing and shoving;
Life is too short -
It should be spent
Respecting and loving.
Target WeightI am afraid because I knowTarget Weight in Free Verse More Like This
That I will never arrive
At a point where I am nourished
And emotionally satisfied
So to regulate my mood
I consume levels that disgrace
They suppose that this is greed
That assumption is misplaced
I’m addicted to the feeling
The short term stimulation
But that only makes me more prone
To those feelings of deflation
And stomach cramps and pains
Loose skin hanging from my bones
Eyes sinking into my skull
And those deathly grey skin tones
Will I ever fill the hole
Silence those voices for a while
I prepare my gut for sorrow
While I am spoon fed on denial
But life’s too much to digest
An acid reflux episode
Regurgitate my memories
Before my stomach explodes
In a culture such as ours
The blame lays nowhere but my plate
I chose the fats, sugars and salts
The impossible target weight
Now I’m afraid because I know
The end has already arrived
In the form of this addiction
To a staple we need to survive
The Little Girl BlinkedThe little girl blinked and he was goneThe Little Girl Blinked in Free Verse More Like This
Unsure if he was ever really there
But she knew that something had inspired her
To do things she wouldn’t normally dare
A teardrop too many he once told her
Had brought him from the shadows of her mind
As those around her began to wander
Across her imagination's fine line
But now he seemed to have walked away
As she found the life she had long sought
He slowly drifted back to the shadows
From her notebook and her beautiful thoughts
And the fools around her carried the spades
Burying him with her imagination
With an epitaph etched on a tombstone
‘Here lies my potential for creation’
Though he never existed beyond her thoughts
He was as real as a chrysalis on a tree
The butterfly perhaps was her freedom
The caterpillar was her memories
But she still sees his face in the reflection
Of her brown eyes in the cracked mirror
Knowing that he is alive and well
And is always going to be with her
People never understand reality
We are just
Her Daily MasqueradeToday her parents ask how her day has beenHer Daily Masquerade in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
By now the answer has been well rehearsed
She insists to them that everything is fine
But the reality is the reverse
In fact she’s the antonym of the word ‘fine’
This is due to her creatively cursed mind
Steeped in a world of such simplicity
Yesterday friends asked how she has been coping
Waiting for their turn to talk, do they care?
They just see a happy, contented princess
Not a pensive, vacant, glazed over stare
In fact she’s the opposite of contented
Restless and at war with reality
Battling feelings of alienation
From unsupportive friends and family
Tomorrow strangers will ask her what is wrong
But in white lies she has become well versed
Knowing that the tar black pit of torrid truth
Will not dilute and only make things worse
She’s living the antonym of the word ‘truth’
But her lies are not designed to betray
Just to cover the cracks and to smother those
BlackI always wear the colour blackBlack in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
As it reflects my inner mood
Black is the absence of colour
Now I feel the absence of you
Black is my inert, withered heart
Immobilised since you’ve been gone
A vacuous hole of nothing
Lifeless, vapid and monochrome
Black is the frayed material
Of the grim reaper’s deathly cloak
So in the darkest evening sky
You would never see his approach
Black is the colour and the shade
Of the star speckled, moonlit sky
And the shadow which you once cast
In the early morning sunshine
Black is my weeping mascara
As down my face the tears will stream
From the little puddles of ink
My pupils nowhere to be seen
Black are those things I've gazed upon
With my sorrowful eyes shut tight
Even rainbows become polluted
Within the filth of my mind’s eye
Black is how I’m feeling today
But should I not be feeling blue
Like my blood before you cut it red
Like your blood before I cut you
Black is t
Repulsive By DesignLet me tell you this my friendRepulsive By Design in Free Verse More Like This
And I will tell you no more
If my passion is your crime
Then your love should be my law
I’m the exception to the rule
And the end of this blood line
I should hang my head in shame
I am repulsive by design
Allow me to elucidate
And I will tell you no lie
I am charged with being charmless
And I have no alibi
Feloniously you broke my heart
One chamber at a time
Though I’d expect nothing less
I am repulsive by design
Beware of the broken hearted
Indeed consider with caution
Repulsion cleansed my sorry soul
Such a spiritual abortion
But when a full term of sorrow
And low self esteem combine
I still remain unloveable
I am repulsive by design
What Lovers DoWhen I was lost you found meWhat Lovers Do in Free Verse More Like This
So now you’re lost let me find you
Fall into my arms sweetheart
No questions, it’s what lovers do
Cradled in my arms tonight
Till the morning after ensues
Maybe then you can see things
From a different point of view
We can sit here all night babe
I’m no saint to offer guidance
Just some whispered words of love
I’ll be here when you break your silence
There is no doctrine of life
But only second hand wisdom
Each person is their own jailor
And inmate begging for freedom
Some of those are there by choice
Others will just misplace the key
You are indeed the latter
But please know you can rely on me
May this torrid time tick away
This is no requiem to our love
As I refuse to mourn the end
Of you, of me and of us
I Feel Your AbsenceWe will not be sharing a kiss tonightI Feel Your Absence in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
And no one else’s lips will ever do
Patience is a virtue, not a hindrance
It will be a pleasure waiting for you
Though I’m in love with your body and soul
And dream of a shared passion between us
I’ll wait to hear your body sing my name
There can indeed be innocence in lust
Alas, I cannot dance with you tonight
As we find ourselves many miles apart
But still you dance around my cluttered mind
Quickstep to the beat of my hollow heart
Though I’m in love with your past and present
I shall slowly remove the hurt and hate
Replacing it with a loving future
In accordance with my belief in fate
A pain that only you can imagine
To be apart, now that our love has grown
And arms feeling as empty as my soul
When I can’t cradle your quivering bones
Though I now wonder how I ever coped
In the days, months and years before you came
I feel lucky to have you in my life
So for this absence I cannot complain
I Was In A Bad PlaceI’ll indite my crude and clumsy rhymesI Was In A Bad Place in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
From my place in the pitch dark
And will wait all night if needs must
For that one creative spark
That will manifest thoughts in my mind
Into a charged lightning bolt
Strike my memories, open my wounds
And let writing be my salt
So cut me and see the metaphors
Floating around my blood stream
Pour salt on the literal lesions
To punctuate my primal scream
As painful at first as the memory
But after the initial sting
Wounds will heel, leaving only scars
Numbness replaces everything
This lack of feeling is temporary
As a writer I live for the pain
Of opening up new abrasions
To keep me lucid and sane
Deviant words in dank surroundings
Disturbed thoughts I can not waste
I apologise in retrospect
But I was in such a bad place
Suicide Is Not An OptionI find myself weaving the final stitchesSuicide Is Not An Option in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Of a noose I have been working on for a while
I swore I’d use it by the time it was complete
If me and my sanity hadn’t reconciled
Each thread representing a flawed emotion
Which tightly woven together makes up my life
If you’re the one to cut me down from the rafters
Love, patience and understanding must be your knife
I find myself with a gun in my right hand
With only one bullet left in the cold chamber
I hand the loaded pistol with safety off
Blindly in to the hands of a complete stranger
Does this represent me opening my heart
And risking a life of abject, dismal sorrow
This God given gift of love is worth the risk
And cupid’s bullets can pierce deeper than arrows
I find myself perched on the edge of a cliff
And at this point in time I am feeling unsure
If the wind that’s blowing me towards the verge
Is real or in fact just another metaphor
That is representing all of the worries
Which try to push me to the seas
Only When I WriteThe drama unfurling in my lifeOnly When I Write in Free Verse More Like This
Feels like the shadow of my hand
That grows as it comes ever closer
To the light perched on my bed stand
In that I can feel the darkest cloud
Ever such a menacing sight
In time I can reverse the feeling
But only when I write
Seclusion left me with nothing
Apart from creativity
Loneliness it turns out, my friends
Is quite the aperitif
For the feast that is awaiting me
If I make it through the night
Tomorrow always brings me new hope
But only when I write
You approach me on a good day
And I will offer you a smile
The same expression on the worst days
Because my manners are so mild
But don’t take me for a toothless fool
When cornered I’ve been known to bite
Fear not, those demons remain at bay
But only when I write
Heart:a rebellionHeart: in Free Verse More Like This
in her chest.
she's got skin
unworthy to write
she tapes those
to her limbs
NaPoWriMo Day: 1I’ve got 30 daysNaPoWriMo Day: 1 in Free Verse More Like This
to defy Icarus:
teach this rose thorn heart
how to fly.
[ All I want to be
is the space between
But, I’m here,
ripping holes in blank pages
while nursing nebulae knuckles
with white plastered walls.
I'm talking myself in circles,I screamed,I'm talking myself in circles, in Free Verse More Like This
"There is nothing
wrong with me, not a damn
I wanted to believe
the big dipper on my arm
meant something more
than sun marks & kisses.
But, how can I trust words
that slip through my teeth
as easy as breathing
when this star
has only ever learned
how to f
( 4/04/2014 )Everything here is so fucking( 4/04/2014 ) in Free Verse More Like This
loud and this dragon eyed girl
doesn’t feel like filtering
She doesn’t want to answer
the phone today, either, so-
she stuffs her ears with
her mouth with new
as she kisses
socks now too
their mixed &
Real ladies wouldn’t
dare step outside
wearing one pink
& one green sock,
but she’s no lady.-
A red lipped hermit
holding a knife to her
own throat, screaming-
the sun and
the rain on her face
for the first time
Oh poets with your
pretty words and
this is what true
Show me what the stars look like tonight.I’ve fallen in love with wars & darkness.Show me what the stars look like tonight. in Free Verse More Like This
The kind of darkness said to have made
shadow monsters of seen-too-much eyes
& the kind of war lands made of
desecrated, dandelion wrists.
I am the wind, the morphine pump
& I’ve carved my bones into stars.
I wear them around my neck
like outward sun marrow
warming my carotid pulse.
These little glow-in-the-dark blankets
aren’t enough to stifle the sounds;
but my anatomy never seemed to fit
together the right way anyway.
NaPoWriMo: Day 6It’s hard enoughNaPoWriMo: Day 6 in Free Verse More Like This
to love her skin on good days,
to wide eyed strangers
as if to fill the emptiness
in her own gut;
she lives on a diet of sad stories &
you must shed your own skin
to save it.]
FeverI like pretending I mean something to the ghostsFever in Free Verse More Like This
who wreak havoc on my bones-
impaling these masochistic butterfly wings
on railroad spikes
between heartbeats and bedsheets,
I got a heart in New Orleans,
palms engraving names like
Juliet, Alexandria, & Christine
on the seats of greyhound buses.
& I'm offering up 102 degrees of skin to a godless moon
as I breathe in her night scent.
NaPoWriMo: Day 3Today,NaPoWriMo: Day 3 in Free Verse More Like This
I wanted to pluck my ribs
from out my chest &
hang them about my house
like wind chimes-
a taunt for hungry wolves.
I didn’t grab for sharp objects,
I just wrote about it.
I never knew
I wanted to be a writer
until I lost something.
I still don’t know what that is-
(my mind, maybe.)
they fill gaps
that had no stories
to keep them
from hollowing out
in the first place.
Hear me howl.Tell me again, Father,Hear me howl. in Free Verse More Like This
I’m the perfect daughter-
when all I want to be
is the crescent moons
resting like strong soldiers
in the grooves of my palms.
I am but
quaking with frostbite,
numbed with rage.
A wolf's jaw:
locked, teeth tearing
into the chilled flesh
of your neck.
( 4/01/2014 )I’ve been told( 4/01/2014 ) in Free Verse More Like This
ladies are supposed to
in flowers, fine wines,
ladies don’t have
upon a barstool
in my head
He’s telling me
to fuck her, poetically,
I can’t decide which
he is referring to,
( the new or the old )
on both ends
Why do I attract
Why do my words
not sit right
in my mouth
when I can’t
even stand up
I don’t deserve
to be a
UndyingUndying:Undying in Free Verse More Like This
How many days do you spend now, putting me down?
The coffin call for a dead man waiting around
"He's just an underground laughing stock, never to rise"
But on the seventh day I'm coming back; these are my ties!
The kind of promise that you made with the devil inside
You try to take away my soul, but I take it in stride
I ain't a doll that is crushed by the weight of his pride
I am the real and the raw of the things you denied!
You're playing snake games, selling oil, pass it off strong
You're just a pot head, weed dead, smoking your bong.
You try to look away, play and hide; apathy's best
But I'm the kind of bad boy you don't put to the test!
-Chen Yuan Wen, 7th February 2013
Memories of WarMemories of War:Memories of War in Songs & Lyrics More Like This
What is this long-lost memory inside?
Where oceans turn; what have we left behind
With star-burned wings out above the sky.
The sleeping sons are lovingly left to lie...
A thousand tears you've cried for all,
Now its time for you to fall!
Will you open up the door,
To the future we ignore?
Are you simply lying broken,
From the memory awoken;
Are you simply living lies,
Bitter taste with ropes you tie...
And the world will soon forget.
Fill my heart with this regret?
For the victims written in stone.
Unspoken sin you now atone...
Yeah I've seen this world where we livin' in pain,
Wrap my body round with chain.
Now we both know we be broken;
Give this man his smokin' token.
Held up guns with both his hands;
Not a boy he's cause he's a man.
Order comes by a suit and hand.
Will you flee or will you stand?
This is a memory of our war,
Of all the things that we can't ignore.
And staying blind to the cries of pain...
Will lonely ashes be what remai
Chasing Shadows of You...Chasing Shadows of You...Chasing Shadows of You... in Free Verse More Like This
No matter the years that pass me by,
It seems I am forever trapped.
For when it comes to deceiving myself,
I'm afraid I'm rather apt.
In the end the truth which I sought to avoid, is now knocking at my door...
A rabid rat that chews at me; one I can't ignore.
And though I might have grown this body, from the lonely years I've seen.
I'm afraid I can only chase the shadow, of my dearest Angeline.
- Chen Yuan Wen, 14th January 2012
We Poets Are Frustrated...We Poets Are Frustrated...We Poets Are Frustrated... in Free Verse More Like This
I am sure that you have all experienced this feeling:
A masterpiece eclipsed by the baying of a brat!
A raucous rhyme, so emotionally raw;
Shadowed by a child's melancholia...
Alone in the darkness, you lick your lips and growl.
Your anger, so evidently understandable; yet you forget your own abilities!
In despair, my dearest sibling, you have forgotten — yourself
Why fear an obstacle so easily overcome?
Why shred your works with such heavy tears?
Have you forgotten that we are the original craftsman?
Our tongues birthed as our chisels and axe!
We need only take these simple themes
And corrupt them with all our twisted fears...
This hatred inside of you, this bubble of frustration and anxiety —
Let it swell like a pus-filled abscess of anger!
And with your words unleash this vicarious plague!
Take the unblemished works that have scorned you,
And inject them with the very darkness of your soul!
Let bleeding lips,
Player versus PlayerPlayer versus Player:Player versus Player in Free Verse More Like This
Elemental artisttry, as lightning weaves through the air.
I see the bloodthirst in his eyes, the hunger for victory.
A demand to be recognised, yet soon to be silenced;
Perfect and perfunctory - my opponent made defunct...
As I stand above this dying creature;
The flicker of life soon fading from their eyes.
I smile and whisper a word of parting,
For the fool who fell where he lies.
-Unfinished piece by Chen Yuan Wen, 10th April 2012
Dark Sadistic Muse:Dark Sadistic Muse:Dark Sadistic Muse: in Free Verse More Like This
I seat myself before the computer,
With fingers poised over fading keys.
Eagerly awaiting my latest epic;
Yet frozen by a lack of inspiration.
Here I sit, staring at the blank document.
The dark background mirroring the world behind me.
I swallow hard as my body locks;
Hairs tense as I sense her arrival...
Slender fingers soon wrap themselves around my throat.
With claw-like nails digging in painfully,
They prick the skin that lies just beneath my Adam’s apple;
Leaving me nursing a rather painful necklace.
"Your hands aren't moving," she coos softly,
Her clawed fingers gently stroking my chin.
"Why is that, I wonder?" she asks with a grin.
Her expression reveals a pair of pointed canines,
Both framed by lips as seductive as sin.
"I'm sorry my lady", I whisper in reply.
The excuse tumbles slowly from a paralyzed tongue.
"I have had no inspiration you see;
No dreams with which I am able to write."
She laughs at this; cruel and cold,
Tossing me from
BelovedBeloved:Beloved in Haiku & Eastern More Like This
With a bright radiant smile
If only for me...
-Chen Yuan Wen, 4th January 2013
DieDie:Die in Free Verse More Like This
Such a simple word, spewed without thought.
"I wish you'd die, I wish you'd be killed."
But what if we actually gave meaning to those words?
Can you understand the emotion, the magnitude, the weight,
Of actually seeing the life of an individual depart?
Can you look them in the eyes, as they bleed into your hands;
Observing their final moments, as the light fades from their eyes?
Or are you simply a soft-hearted coward,
Sitting fat behind a computer, wishing death upon others?
To say that one is deserving of death,
Suggests that you are ready to kill.
And if indeed you are ready to kill,
Then you too must be prepared to die.
"Now please, stop those tears my good man, we've only removed three of your toes so far (^_^)"
-Chen Yuan Wen, 9th July 2013
These Tears Would Come:These Tears Would Come:These Tears Would Come: in Free Verse More Like This
If my tears could tell a story of two -
What would they have to say about you?
Of a boy who spent his whole life seeking
And a girl who found it in the arms of another…
Would they tell us of laughter? Beneath a starlit sky,
Or of harsh words exchanged on bitter nights.
Would they speak of moments, so beautifully captured;
To be enjoyed in memory, like a perfect wine.
Or perhaps they would tell us of an untampered truth:
Of the lonely nights spent longing, for an Eden lost.
Captivated, habituated, to this lonely habit of you;
For her alone, these tears would come.
-Chen Yuan Wen, 31st march 2013
Words for the Young BloodsWords for the Young Bloods:Words for the Young Bloods in Free Verse More Like This
To all my ninjas sittin' low on the street side,
I want you all to raise your head with pride.
Because I'm callin' out, for the youth to come together
And get those big wigs off the fuckin' power ladder.
You ready? Because we're going at it hard:
See I'm the kind of guy that they're all playin' with
A systematic crisis workin' in the way we live.
The big shots still sittin' and they growin' fat.
With young bloods starvin' just to get their life on track.
We take psychometric tests and make a passing grade,
But ain't no job cause the corporate head is gettin' paid.
And when they screwin' with the money, they ain't never cut.
The young bloods be the first to get their letter up.
I say the system ain't shit and we all got it wrong,
The old mothers are just stayin' in for way too long.
I say we cut them from the system that they fucked up,
And let the young bloods take it; we'll just fix it up.
They set the game, but we're the ones playin' main;
I guess t
I'm going to cry.I'm going to cry for all I've lost,I'm going to cry. in Free Verse More Like This
And you can't or won't stop me.
I'm going to die for all I was,
And all you'll do is watch me.
I'm going to hide from you,
Afraid to show my weakness.
I would happily die for you,
But I still regret this.
I didn't want this life,
I didn't want these tears.
I didn't want this life,
I didn't want these fears.
I used to cause myself pain,
To make sure I still feel.
I'll do it now and again,
To make sure it's still real.
I'm going to cry for all I've lost,
And you can't stop me.
These tears I cry at my cost,
For once will flow freely.
Armageddon.Yes, I still want you.Armageddon. in Free Verse More Like This
But do I still need you?
I need you like fire thirsts for water,
I need you like a cactus craves the sun.
I need you like a bird needs its wings clipped,
I need you as penance for all I have done.
Yet I still want you,
When your eyes are purgatory itself.
There is no passion in that fire,
But I want that simple burning hatred.
I need you like a child needs to plunge its hand into fire,
And yet you still glint and catch my eye and I want you.
I want you and need you,
Like I want and need the world to end.
You are my armageddon,
And your name is Jennifer.
Promises, promises...I talked to her today,Promises, promises... in Free Verse More Like This
It was brief, but it went okay.
She seems sad still, but getting better,
I'm glad about that, even if it makes me sadder.
I talked to her yesterday too, tried to win her back,
Didn't work, looks like we can't just go back.
We agreed to not talk for a week you know,
I was too weak for that though...
I broke my promise, I hate to do it, but I have to sometimes,
Anyone knows I don't break them, if they read my rhymes.
Only reason we broke up was I wasn't selfish enough,
So maybe it's a good thing I wasn't too tough.
I still regret making, and breaking, that one last promise to her,
I still really wish I could tell her, "I love you Jennifer."
But no, I can't do that, I have to be keep quiet,
I promised to, but of my promises, I am tired...
We are human.We are not perfect, we are not angelic.We are human. in Concrete Poetry More Like This
We can be evil, but we are not demonic.
We are not Godly, though some might wish it.
We are only human, but no one will believe it.
I am myself, I am my own being.
I am not controlled, I am untamed and raging.
I am not normal, I am a freak; if you will.
I pride myself on this, I am not run of the mill.
I have some faults, as do we all.
But a few things I am a master of, as are we all.
We all have our fortés, our one special thing we're best at.
We are not Godly, but that doesn't mean we are any less than that.
We are all individuals, unique in our own way.
We are all good at one thing or another, we all have a perfect day.
We are not demonic or angelic, we are not Legion.
We are simply perfect in our imperfection; for we are human.
Statue In The RainI'm not dead because I'm still breathing,Statue In The Rain in Free Verse More Like This
I'm not dead because I'm finally living.
I'm still here because you always need me,
I won't leave you if you don't leave me.
I'm still here, right where you left me,
The statue in the rain, ready to give you glee.
When you feel sad, you know where to go,
I'm not dead, I'm here for you and I hope you know.
That I'm still here, and always will be for you,
That I'll remain as long as I know you want me to.
That the statue in the rain will always be waiting for you,
Because Jennifer, I love you.
Finding... Myself?Say goodbye to that man you know,Finding... Myself? in Concrete Poetry More Like This
The one who was only there to make amends.
Say goodbye to the old me, as I go,
Because I suppose this is the way he ends.
Say goodbye to the cynical me,
The man who kept everything to himself,
Let him rest in peace, and welcome me.
For I am here still, and I am... Myself?
Say goodbye to the Cynicist,
Say goodbye to the anger and the hate,
Say hello to the Optimist.
Say hello to who you'll learn to hate.
Because that's just it, it's easily done.
I flick a switch, and I'm the old me,
I guess he was never really gone.
Say Hello to the Optimist.
For the writer of this piece is dead.
The Child's Song."Corporations are evil!"The Child's Song. in Free Verse More Like This
"Corporations are evil!"
Say the little children in a sing song voice,
The parents wonder as the children rejoice.
What has inspired this strange song?
Why are corporations so very wrong?
Which child started and when will it end?
And how can they see that they pretend?
One child had skipped through the village, singing,
And soon, to the tune the church bells were ringing.
Such a catchy tune it was hard to not hum,
A protest is catchy, it's an old rule of thumb.
We are the down-trodden and angry masses,
Our tune is carried by every man that passes.
We are the oppressed masters of the future,
We shall not be quietly pushed to the corner!
It all began with a simple child's song,
And now the angry protest has begun.
It all began with a naive little lover,
And now they are the mightiest fighter!
Everything in life.I need to hurt myself... No, you don't.Everything in life. in Concrete Poetry More Like This
I did this... I need to hurt myself for it.
It won't go away if you do, you know it won't.
But everything in life has its consequence...
Maybe if I hurt myself, then I won't have to feel them,
Maybe it'll be consequence enough, if I'm hurt then.
Maybe she won't dump me for what I did too,
Maybe it'll be consequence enough for what I did to you.
I don't get why you're worried though...
But I dream the future, read my poetry, sometimes, I do.
And a few nights I felt a crossover, a nightmare come true,
And now I know that it has happened, because of what I did to you.
So now, I need to hurt myself, to give me a consequence,
So now, I need to fade away, and never be spoken of since.
And now, I want to hurt myself, to save myself more pain,
But all things come to an end, and it's always the same.
ContradictionsThese things seem to rule my life,Contradictions in Concrete Poetry More Like This
Some people hate me and cause me strife,
Others think me a hero, ready to sacrifice myself.
Many think me noble, but you can decide that yourself.
Contradictions, they rule my life, "Why did she break up with you?"
A complete and utter list of contradictions, all of which I tell you,
"Does she love you?" I answer she says so, and I love her too.
A contradiction follows, "But then why did she break-up with you?"
That's the mystery, the greatest contradiction of all, to all of you,
But no, I leave out one thing, the thing that kills me inside too.
"I'm just... I'm not happy." What she said, word for word,
And I cry now, because what she said did not go unheard.
The Reality.I always have nightmares, it's something I can't control,The Reality. in Free Verse More Like This
But the topic always changes, again, something I can't control.
Have you ever felt so alone in the world, you're like a shadow?
Have you ever been too scared to look out of the window?
I was, I was too scared to check if it was really tomorrow or today,
I was too afraid to see if what had happened, really happened to me.
I woke up with a heartbreaking sadness, and nothing to do,
I woke up with a crushing fear, and there was nothing I could do.
In my dream, there was always one place I longed to be,
And when I finally got there, it was no longer welcome to me.
But there is one thing I know now, and it is the reality,
And there is one thing I can tell you, that it scares me.
The reality is I love her, I knew I did of course,
But this just means I'm going to get hurt, I can take it of course...
I keep trying to find a way to make us mend,
I just don't want to, because I don't want this to
Missing Pieces.I am a missing piece. Something that someone needs.Missing Pieces. in Visual & Found Poetry More Like This
But at the same time, I feel so incomplete.
I’ve wandered way too far, wondered for far too long
Am I a missing piece? Or a piece that won’t belong?
Is it possible I’m damaged and not missing at all?
That I’m just as dysfunctional as everybody else?
Pretending to be perfect never softened a single fall.
But neither did admitting that you’re broken and flawed.
A broken missing piece. Is that all I’m meant to be?
There is no master plan that includes the likes of me.
Being all alone, it’s a hurt that will not cease.
A hundred thousand years from now
I’ll still be
Wonder.Do you fear your own death?Wonder. in Free Verse More Like This
Is it hard to conceive?
Draw in your last breath, then-
Your last breath will leave.
Isn't it strange to think,
That there's a timer above your head?
A countdown you can't see,
That finishes when you're dead.
Don't you ever wonder,
What it'll be like when you're gone?
I bet the world will keep on spinning.
There will be another dawn.
But the harsh reality behind it-
We're all going to die.
There's no reason to try to fight it
Not even to question why.
It makes me wish that I could have a little more to give,
Because I'm not afraid of how I'll die...
I'm afraid of how I'll
It Isn't Wrong...I used your words to form an apologyIt Isn't Wrong... in Free Verse More Like This
Because I didn’t know another way
To make you acknowledge me
But I’m still here, you know
As much as I was a year ago
I’m going in blind and taking shots in the dark
But I’m pulling every word from the bottom of my heart
I’ve had a lot of time to see things straight
You’re someone that I love, that I could never hate
That’s why every time I tried forgetting about you
I couldn’t force myself to do what I had to do
Now I can see your pain, I’m sorry I put you through it
If there was one thing I could change
You know that I would undo it
I don’t want to live, I don’t want to breathe
The reason we’re like this is all because of me
I don’t want you to be yet another closing door
You think I could care less, darling, I couldn’t care more
Take away from this all the evidence you need
I miss you just as much as you say you miss me
I want this forced silence to come to
Locked and LoadedI am broken. I’m a waste.Locked and Loaded in Free Verse More Like This
Tell me something I don’t know
Say it to my face
You think you know me better
‘Cause of things you don’t remember
You’re trying to make me hurt
My self-esteem’s in the dirt
Pick out all my flaws and laugh at every one
I’m just a stubborn kid with a loaded gun
In the middle of the desert
Taking shots at the sun
But my body is the M16
My mouth is the trigger
My lungs; the magazine
And if you can’t already see
I’m about ready
To go on a killing spree
If you can’t shut up long enough
To hear what I have to say
Then I’m locked and loaded
Have a nice day.
What I Can't EraseLike the gnarled roots of an old decaying treeWhat I Can't Erase in Free Verse More Like This
I’m twisted and confused, tired of being me
On the surface I am strong, abrasively calm, and ready
But underneath it all I’m weak, wrong, and unsteady
I shudder at the wind; tell tale of death’s bringer
I feel the chill upon my spine; forever it seems to linger
Now is not the time for cleansing wounds of past battles
Worse is lurking just beyond the howling darkness of the shadows
There isn't much that I can do against an army borne of fear
Every nightmare, all my demons, they’re all assembled here
They’re everything that I’m ashamed to say is part of me
The ugly truth behind my eyes no one should ever see
And if I held my ground would it be too much to face?
Or should I just ignore what I know I can’t erase?
Love Me.She falls asleep most every nightLove Me. in Free Verse More Like This
To the sound of her parents pointless fight
And clinging tightly to her tear soaked pillow
She goes to school most every day
Wishing she could run away
From all those who torture her
For not being ‘cool’
Her mother, she just plain ignores her
Her father’s never even there
Who would notice if she were gone?
Who would even care?
She just wants to make it quick
To take this razor as her friend
And feel its tender loving kiss
Pressed against her paper skin
She just wants to make it stop
The feeling lonely, sad and hated
She holds the blade up to eye level
I don’t know how long she waited
She presses hard against her skin
And lines of ink bleed from the pen
The blade, it rests there on her knee
On her arm she wrote
Four Words I've Been Dying to Tell You...I'm nothing without you...Four Words I've Been Dying to Tell You... in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
Let Them In.With my back to the doorLet Them In. in Free Verse More Like This
I can’t help but fall to the floor
Out of breath, out of time
Out of sight, out of my mind
They’re tempting me; they lead astray
They mark my words; I am their prey
I can’t fight them anymore
So let them in and end this war
Leave me to my demons
Let them have at me
And strip me of my reasons
To ever be happy
I am broken enough
So that they fit in the cracks
I never wanted to be this
But now there’s no turning back
Let them take control
Because without you in my life
This is how a person like myself
Can ever become whole.
Hello...Hello…?Hello... in Free Verse More Like This
Why can’t you hear me?
Why won’t you answer me?
Why don’t you look at me?
Please see me…
I’m sick of being a ghost…
Of my words falling
Onto the cold hard earth
Of your ears.
No one hears the snow
All you do is feel it…
Can you feel me?
Feel my presence…
The hand I reach out for
To steady me…
Or for the shoulder
When I need to cry…
But no one feels a ghost…
Look at me…
Speak to me…
Laugh with me…
I’m an amazing person
You just wait and see
I’ll show you the world I see
I’ll show you how to smile and laugh again
I’ll show you the promise of love
Even though you have given it up
I’ll show you adventure
And watch adrenaline pump through our system
And watch these feelings of ours grow.
Even if I haven’t met you yet…
I know you are out there
When I Have Left and Gone...When I have left and goneWhen I Have Left and Gone... in Free Verse More Like This
Will you realize what you did to me?
Will you want me there beside you?
When I have left and gone
Will you see how you
Into this suffocating pit of despair
That chokes the breath out of me.
When I have left and gone
And you are left in my path of anger
Will you be able to move on
Knowing I cannot forgive you?
The feeling that I was not important
That I was only ever going to be second best
That I could never be praised
Tore me apart….
And you let me br e a k
Into p s on the floor
And I can never be put back
T o g e t h e r .
You said....You told me “friends forever”,You said.... in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
More like ‘friends for now’,
As your sweet promises
Were just lies I allowed.
You said “we are best friends”,
More like ‘friends at best’,
As your solid affirmations
Were all digressed.
You told me “I need you”
More like ‘you need me’
As your statements
Were my last plea.
Why did you go?
Why did you leave?
I’m left here all alone
Trying, in us, to believe.
Daily Poem #2The hours slowly tick byDaily Poem #2 in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
But my heart begins to fly.
Though I work hard and study,
And my thoughts are a little muddy,
I get to see you soon
Underneath the starlight moon.
DrowningHow wonderful it feelsDrowning in Free Verse More Like This
To fall back
Into the hands
Of the water below.
Unlike everyone else
Water envelops you,
Makes you feel light,
The only direction
You’ve ever known.
Your hair moves around you like
Seaweed on the ocean floor.
Bubbles that once
Had a home inside your lungs
Escape freely into the water.
And climb up higher
To the safety of the surface.
“This is what is left
Of my existence.
Little bubbles floating up,
Higher and higher,
While I sink,
Lower and lower”
And as you feel
The last bubble,
The last of your air,
Flow out of your lips
You couldn’t help but smile.
Even as your lungs
Screamed in pain
You ignored it
Like you’ve done for years.
Even with the water
You still managed
But not in sadness,
For now you were leaving.
Leaving the pain.
Leaving the sadness.
Leaving the hurt.
Leaving the cruel words
That others w
PainI am in so much painPain in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
It hurts me every single day
A piece of glass for my heart
It too easily comes apart.
Torn by hurtful words that came from you
“Why do I breathe the same air you do?”
My existence wavers on this Earth
Soon will I become one with the dirt?
No one ever seems to notice me
Will I ever be set free?
To be valued and noticed by you
Is all I ever want to do.
But I don’t know how much longer
I can try to reconquer
The space I once held in your heart
While it turns more tart.
With flowers on my grave
This I dare say…
“Keep your trivial love that tears so deep
And my experience I shall keep.
Here I shall say adieu
And become a person anew”
A Fake LoveHey, wait…A Fake Love in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Please don’t go away…
I thought this is what they called fate
I thought that every day
Was supposed to be for
You and me…
I thought that this “love”
That was made so clear in my heart
Was always above
Every day we spent apart
Even though I seemed
To be falling apart
Deep inside, I knew
That all these things inside
I couldn’t hide from you
So now I reside
With the cold and hard
This wasn’t meant to be
This “love” between us
Wasn’t meant for you and me
So you can take your finesse
And leave me all alone
With nothing but your memory
Fake How are you?Fake in Free Verse More Like This
I am fine, thank you.
How was your weekend?
It was great, tons of fun!
Besides the nights I spent crying….
Are you sure you’re okay?
Love Hurts“Love hurts”.Love Hurts in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
I never knew the meaning of those words.
How could something so beautiful be so curt?
Why do they say it flies away like a bird?
“Stop this nonsense”.
They never did quite understand or see.
Our love has no consequence
As I was meant for you and you for me.
“Don’t choose with your ego”.
I’m not doing this all for me or for you.
I just love his smile that always does glow,
And between us, things are never blue.
“He will break you”.
Please do not just assume that
What happened to you will happen to me too.
I would know if he was a threat.
“There is no such thing as fate”.
You say it with such conviction,
Are you so quick to hate?
You have never seen the darkness brighten
Thank you...I keep my feelingsThank you... in Free Verse More Like This
All bottled up inside me
And sometimes it was nice
To stare into that bottle
To see the yellow of happiness
And the red of love
But even I should have known
Putting too much emotion into that bottle
Turns it grey and murky with confusion.
You who has shown me nothing
But kindness and love…
I am afraid to hurt you…
That you will see my dark past
And it will swallow you whole
Like it did to me.
So therefore I hide my bottle
From everyone and everything
So as not to feel the violation
Of a simple peek inside
I trusted someone once
Told them everything there is about me
And to my demise
They used all that against me,
Hurt me in every way possible,
Made me think that being myself was
So I built my masks
A new one for every day
And put them on.
Little did people know
Should they take one mask off
Another was there underneath
And another one under that.
So many masks laid on top of “me”
I Met MeToday I met a girl,I Met Me in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
and she asked, "How are you?"
"Just fine," I replied.
She said, "No, tell me what's true."
Perplexed, I stopped and stared.
She was young, no older than eight.
Her eyes were still innocent.
They knew no hate.
"What did you say?"
I asked in confusion.
"You know what I mean," she said.
This girl was in a delusion.
Trying to be kind,I replied,
"No I do not."
She frowned and replied,
"You lie quite a lot."
Now I was agitated.
What does this girl know?
Acting like she's so intelligent.
I'll just tell her to go.
"Let me explain!"
She exclaimed in haste.
"I know you're not alright.
I know you feel misplaced."
How in the world?
Who is this little girl?
"But I'm here to say you'll be alright.
Though your friends will leave,
leave you feeling alone and cold,
you'll find a reprieve."
"So just stay strong
because I know you can do it."
How? Who are you?
I wished she would quit.
Suddenly it was silent,
and I turned to see,
but there was no one there at al
You didn't dare.She smiled,You didn't dare. in Concrete Poetry More Like This
but it was fake.
but she's about to break.
She reached out,
but no one came,
tried to fake it,
but the pain stayed the same.
This girl, she called to you,
but you didn't care.
Something told you to help,
but you didn't dare.
What would the others say?
The ones who called her a freak.
They may taunt or shun you,
so you choose not to speak.
Then she decides to leave.
Because no one wants her here.
You'll never see her cry.
She'll never shed another tear.
Little StarYou think you're the star,Little Star in Free Verse More Like This
Flying way up high.
Nothing can touch you.
You own the sky.
Your colors are bright,
no one shines brighter.
You're number one....
till you go a bit higher.
Farther in the sky,
there are stars that shine true,
and you cannot compare.
You're just little old you.
Those stars are huge.
You'll never compare.
Don't even try.
Don't even dare.
You're small and weak.
They're big and strong.
Your shine is meek,
and theirs is long.
So just give up.
There's nothing to do.
You're not good enough,
yes, it's true.
It's not true at all.
Those stars may be big,
but keep standing tall.
You're a star too,
no matter the size.
Don't believe the insults.
Don't believe the lies.
Yes your shine is unique,
and done your own special way,
and that's all that really matters
at the end of the day.
So shine your best little star,
and know this to be true.
You may not be perfect,
but you're perfectly you.
Memories?How do you stay sane,Memories? in Concrete Poetry More Like This
when the screams echo in your ears?
This is not a game,
these are living fears.
I'm searching for the truth,
but find only confusion.
Was it a secret in my youth,
or just an illusion?
Did he really hit her,
or was it a dream?
It's all such a blur,
and things aren't always as they seem.
Should I ask them?
No, they'd never tell.
Was it enough to condemn?
Will he go to hell?
Did he really do it?
Do I even want to know?
Maybe I should quit,
let the memories go.
Ignorance is bliss,
that I know too well.
The memories, I dismiss.
Send them all to hell.
My Soul to KeepHeart beats fast,My Soul to Keep in Free Verse More Like This
nerves are stretching,
so close to snapping.
Try to calm down.
Take a deep breath,
feel so weak,
so close to death.
and the clock's ticking slow.
When will it be over?
When's my time to go?
about to break.
God, I'm here,
my soul to take.
Take it now.
I'm really done,
tired of fighting,
don't want to run.
I just want to rest,
just want to sleep,
take me forever,
my soul to keep.
House of MirrorsThey say I spinHouse of Mirrors in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
a web of lies,
but webs are for spiders.
They catch their flies.
No, my lies are mirrors,
each a different reflection.
They fill up my house,
my sinful collection.
Sometimes I get lost.
There's so much confusion.
Which ones are real?
Which are illusions?
I try to back track,
but the mirrors turn me around.
I cry out for help,
but the mirrors block the sound.
I give up.
Hang another mirror.
In this one I'm cruel and cold
on the exterior.
How many reflections
will I become?
Which one is real?
Where have I gone?
Not Good EnoughNot good enough for me,Not Good Enough in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
not good enough for you,
maybe all the insults
are simply what's true.
What can I say?
Nothing, I'm done,
so sick and tired
of having to run.
So this is the end,
the last puzzle piece,
the very last straw,
the pain will soon cease.
I won't have to struggle.
There will be no pain,
and everyone's lives
will go on quite the same.
Because I am just me.
The greatest disappointment of all.
So say good-bye,
as I start my free fall.
My Immortal FriendWhere are you,My Immortal Friend in Free Verse More Like This
my sweetest friend?
When did our friendship
come to an end?
I don't remember much,
but I know you're there.
I can feel your presence,
heavy in the air.
My immortal soul,
you should be gone.
Your heart stopped beating.
Your time is done.
And yet you stay,
unseen but not unknown.
Do you still recognize me?
I know I've grown.
Were you always here,
or did you just come back?
Why can't I see you?
Is there something I lack?
He sees you though.
I know it's true.
His innocent eyes
always pointed towards you.
Are you his friend now?
What happened to me?
Did we have a fight?
Just let me see.
I don't understand.
What went wrong?
Were you tired of talking?
Tired of the song?
Or did you do something
to hurt or to scare?
No, I don't think...
no, you wouldn't dare.
So, please come back.
My immortal friend,
or please be happy,
find your end.
Truest HomeI took my mask off,Truest Home in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
showed my true face,
but you threw it back at me,
called me a disgrace.
No one wants to see.
No one wants to hear
about my hopes and dreams,
my memories and fear.
They'd rather I stayed quiet,
shy and in my place,
but I can't stay behind.
I want to run the race.
"No!" They cry.
Stay where you belong.
No one wants to hear
your misery song.
So crawl back in the dark,
with your monsters and fear.
Sit there quietly,
year after year.
Never going to get out,
never going to get free.
This is where I belong.
This is the truest home for me.
What's Right.There once was a boy,What's Right. in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
there once was a girl.
He loved the girl dearly,
and the boy was her world.
The boy was kind,
and would be there to stay,
but the girl was broken.
She yearned to fly away.
The boy wouldn't let go,
he was determined to fix her,
but there was no secret,
no miracle cure.
She simply had to go,
set herself free.
This was the answer,
the only true key.
He wouldn't give up,
so she had to shove.
It was all in good interest,
all because of love.
But the boy was so patient,
so determined and kind,
he wouldn't give up.
She made up her mind.
There would be one last push,
one last try
before she had to give up,
let herself die.
The boy won't like it.
He'll try to fight.
It will hurt the girl greatly,
but she has to do what's right.
So I'm sorry, so sorry,
for what I have to do,
but please, please remember,
I truly, really love you.