The Face At The DoorThe face at the door is a demon, a god
He smiles through stitches, his stare rather odd
The face at the door is a cruel, silent being
Yet, people are calm, and the children aren't fleeing
Quiet yourself, for you're the only one
Crying for help at the point of a gun
Learn how to fly, rather, learn how to fall,
The face at the door... well... there's no face at all.
Words on the WallThe sun melted into the glamorous skyWords on the Wall in Free Verse More Like This
The moon stood there, hidden by sweet lullabies.
But mommy was crying, her day had been hard
The tears in her eyes twinkled just like the stars.
Her face wasn't happy like it should have been
And though she was saddened, she forcefully grinned.
I wanted to see Mommy smile through it all...
I painted a picture on her bedroom walls.
I told her to look, just to come in and see
But Mommy was angry... she wasn't happy.
She threw me down hard on the cold wooden floor
Then picked me up, slamming my head on the door.
She yelled and she screamed, then she hit me once more
She slapped me till I couldn't see anymore.
My heart then stopped beating, my laugh went unheard
Then Mommy got up without saying a word.
She looked at the walls splattered with my young blood
Then fell to the ground in her tears with a thud.
She looked at my face, then she looked all around
Then wrote on the walls with the first thing she found.
Then, after she finished, she wanted self h
Good Enough... for YOU.As I sit here cradling the blade in my handsGood Enough... for YOU. in Free Verse More Like This
Treasuring the moments I wish that I had
I can't stop growing more lost and confused
I can't stop thinking... am I good enough for you?
As I sit here, wrapping the rope around my neck
No one will understand a meaning so complex
I simply can't stop thinking about it somehow
Thinking, am I good enough for you now?
As I sit here, pulling the trigger on the gun
I think, maybe I was never meant for "the one"...
goes the bullet.
For when I think it through...
I really won't ever be good enough for you.
AsylumWho are you?Asylum in Free Verse More Like This
Where are you?
What... are you?
The blinding white walls
Closing in on you
Who are you?
Certainly not that
happy little girl
jumping through fairy tales
as a sunset paints the silver sky.
Where are you?
Definitely not where
you'd want to be.
What are you?
Blood, scars, wounds.
All you see are shadows
In a room of white walls...
When I SaidWhen I said I wanted a fairy taleWhen I Said in Free Verse More Like This
I meant I wanted a prince.
I didn't want to be locked in a
I didn't want to be fought by a
I didn't want
When I said I wanted a fairy tale
I meant I wanted to be a princess.
I didn't want to watch a rose
I didn't want to wear the gown
I wanted it
When I said I wanted a fairy tale...
I expected it to end in a
But i never expected it to end like this.
Bipolar DisorderI am a victim of a shadow named fourteenBipolar Disorder in Free Verse More Like This
And a little girl, my old best friend who turned into a demon.
Fourteen human figures without a face… they attack my soul
And everybody’s staring at me without an honest reason.
I am a victim of the people of the world
Who only want to hurt me, and my innocent family
Terrified of the ones around me, even those I love
When a nightmare becomes my reality.
I can’t take a shower without peeking outside the curtain
And I can’t close my eyes when I wash my hair
Because I’m horrified, afraid that when I open them
I’ll see somebody with a bloody face angrily standing there.
Sometimes I unlock the doors and then lock them again
And to be honest, I’m not completely sure why
And I can’t go upstairs at night, because what if there’s a fire?
I won’t be able to make it out in time.
I am a victim of a shadow named fourteen
And a little girl, my old best friend who turned into a demon.
And somehow, ou
Mommy, He's LyingMommy, he said it, he said it was true.Mommy, He's Lying in Free Verse More Like This
Mommy, he said it, he said "I love you."
Mommy, he said it, he said it was real
Mommy, please know how to think, how i feel
Mommy, this love is the truth, it's the way
Mommy, he said it, he said it today.
Mommy, he's lying, he's lying to me
Mommy, he's telling a lie, can't you see?
Mommy, he never did mean what he said
Mommy, his voice is pounding in my head.
Mommy, he's lying, his love isn't pure
Love's a disease and he's finding the cure.
Mommy, he's lying, what else can I say...
Mommy, he hit me, he killed me today.
Mommy, he lied to me, why did he lie?
Mommy, he lied through his tears, through his cries
Mommy, his lies I just couldn't see through
Mommy, he lied to me.
What'd I ever do?
Sick of societyI may live inside my own, twisted universeSick of society in Free Verse More Like This
I may change, sometimes for the worst.
What's normal to me is not normal for you.
Sometimes I just do what I need to do.
Behind a brick wall, I hoped someone would break it
I threw out my heart hoping someone would take it.
But I got tired of hiding and tired of hating
And instead of throwing myself at every guy, I'm waiting.
I'm sick of the person I tried to be
So basically, here I am, I will be me
I'm sick of the hatred, would you not agree?
.. Basically I'm sick of society.
SchizophreniaShh.Schizophrenia in Free Verse More Like This
Look behind you.
"Are you okay?"
Shapes, forms, bodies, animals, plants
Shifting, moving, being
"What's wrong with you?"
You're a freak.
No one wants you.
You should kill yourself, let them out of their misery
Or we'll do the job for you.
"They're fake, you know."
No they're not.
"What are you doing?"
This is how I live.
Save me, from the monsters, the shadows
"What can I do?"
You can stop.
You can stop being ignorant
No Longer a Little GirlDear imagination, can't you be the thing you wereNo Longer a Little Girl in Free Verse More Like This
Butterflies and daffodils and happiness so pure
Sunny skies and lullabies and dreams of what could be
Hidden worlds and wonderlands of things they couldn't see
Shining gowns and silver crowns for dancing with the prince
Twirling with excitement, though the others weren't convinced
Dear intimidation, did you find it to be true
All I ever needed was an overdose of you
Silly stares and laughter slowly flood a child's mind
Making me abandon every daydream I could find
Lost beneath the shadows of the sky so dark and dead
Far too weak to turn around, yet scared of things ahead
Dear destructive tendencies, I feel it's time to hear
You were all I had when nothing else seemed to be near
Everything so out of reach, too far for me to see
I decided I would choose the needle next to me
Slicing through my very skin to feel something once more
Weeping through the satisfaction I could not ignore
Dear imagination, can't you be the thing you were?
GravityI promise I’m not like everybody else.Gravity in Free Verse More Like This
I’m not here to
I’m not here to
I’m here to
I’m here to
I’m here to
Please don’t say I’m like everybody else.
Because I’m not here to
But sometimes, gravity is
Sometimes you’re going to
But I promise, even if I’m not there…
I’ll still be there, for you.
NaPoWriMo: Day 10 Have you ever been so cold, Sweetheart,NaPoWriMo: Day 10 in Free Verse More Like This
your knees q u a k e d like that Jenga piece
that buckled just before your whole foundation
& no matter
how many times
I've restarted your heart,
one would think
I'd grow tired,
I'm still writing you in poetry
(in the most inappropriate of places.)
You forced yourself beneath my blades
& my fingertips,
Licking unstable knees,
you were death on my tongue:
angry apricot eyes, unforgivable sin
scaring my limbs &
haunting my dreams.
& I'd still try to save your fucking life.
I'm talking myself in circles,I screamed,I'm talking myself in circles, in Free Verse More Like This
"There is nothing
wrong with me, not a damn
I wanted to believe
the big dipper on my arm
meant something more
than sun marks & kisses.
But, how can I trust words
that slip through my teeth
as easy as breathing
when this star
has only ever learned
how to f
Cancer has a smell.Old classics,Cancer has a smell. in Free Verse More Like This
the half cup of
peppermint ice cream
sitting in your freezer
for weeks, and cat litter.
He won’t eat anymore,
but there are
piles and piles
of dirty dishes
sitting in the sink.
before your eyes.
You can wrap
your whole self
around his tiny bones
You can hold him
like he used to hold you
all those years ago.
And you are angry.
You try to find
You hate doctors,
and you hate
You have to force yourself
to stop crying,
This is the one person
who’s always had faith
He’s read every poem
and hoarded every award
you ever won.
You ignore statistics,
Heart:a rebellionHeart: in Free Verse More Like This
in her chest.
she's got skin
unworthy to write
she tapes those
to her limbs
to the starsI’ve got this arrowto the stars in Visual & Found Poetry More Like This
curled around my finger
like Apollo’s heart
& your nicknames
engraved on the inside
of my lungs.
I don’t want to write
pretty little stanzas
or pick at the seams
of your poetry
like some deadbeat
psychology major -
I want to
all over everything;
shoot down your moon
& wear her
like a charm
around ink stained
I want to
to the stars,
& leave you there.
She has the moon in her eyes.But, this body is a black hole,She has the moon in her eyes. in Free Verse More Like This
a hollowed out womb-
and these palms are sandpaper
thin and bleeding a silent stigmata.
"Not yet ripe to fall from her bed,
too young to understand her own limbs-"
She folds back July's origami skin,
wishing for the warmth of winters kiss.
She is a raven heart, thumping wildly
against the whispers of vintage lips.
Her bed is empty,
but the sheets are red.
Keep your secrets, wolfgirl.I have been suffocatingKeep your secrets, wolfgirl. in Free Verse More Like This
on the stars of my past
like horny gentlemen
do with innocent looking
wolfgirls at 3am- their bite
fearless as thieves.
My lilac lungs are breathing in
dust and the tears of Saturn’s
while the rest of me -
well, shes warm off wine
and poems left
( 4/02/2014 )It’s day two( 4/02/2014 ) in Free Verse More Like This
& I already feel
I’ve been living
out of my suitcase
since I got home,
on the couch &
leaving my laundry
on the floor.
Everything in my refrigerator
screams 12 days too late
& rent money is due.
She’s slapping me
in the face,
that heartless bitch
with the long
& hot mouth-
& having her way with me.
August Lover,I want to wrap myself in your air,August Lover, in Free Verse More Like This
hold your secrets between my
ribcage-embrace & just
NaPoWriMo: Day 8I was toldNaPoWriMo: Day 8 in Free Verse More Like This
to slice through the thickest
of scar tissue this evening.
Let all my inner demons
fall to the floor
& write them out
in my own black blood.
It’s not red anymore,
even though needles
& the bruises
laid out like war-lands
on my arms
I don’t think it ever was,
My mind is a mess
of free versed insecurities,
cat’s eye marbles,
& untamed forest fires-
I still don’t have the nerve
to slice open my skin
& bleed for her.
Things I'll Never SayThere are certain things I’ll never say,Things I'll Never Say in Free Verse More Like This
Like how I thought about killing myself today
Just to keep my own scary thoughts away.
Like how I stay awake way too late
To be sure I don’t awake in a bloody state.
Like how I soaked white into red last night
And turned myself into a ghastly sight.
Like how it hurts too much to breathe
When I make my own skin seethe.
Like how I Google things I shouldn’t
When I want to do things I couldn’t.
Like how I’m scared of being alone
Yet I’m only happy when I’m on my own.
Like how I know I’ll wind up killing myself
And turn into just a dusty photo on a dusty shelf.
Like how I make myself bleed every day
Even though I know I can’t go on this way.
Like how I maybe want someone to see
And for them to somehow help me.
But nobody will ever help me,
Because those are all the things I’ll never say.
Hope (I Won't)I won't let a razor bladeHope (I Won't) in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Take away this life I've made.
I won't let the shame and guilt
Ruin everything I've built.
I won't let being wrong
Stop me from being strong.
I won't let sorrow and pain
Resurrect the demons that I've slain.
I won't let ugly spite
Tell me that I'm not right.
I won't let the dark past
Make my endless hurt last.
I won't let this noose
Leave me hanging loose.
I won't let the world win;
My life is only just about to begin.
Cross My WristsCross my wrists and hope to die,Cross My Wrists in Free Verse More Like This
I will only ever lie
When you ask me if I’m fine
Or if I like this life of mine.
If I had a gun,
I’d put it to my head
And turn bouncy blonde,
Into ruby red.
You want me to stop cutting;
I’ll stop when I’m dead.
The last time I’ll cut
Will be the last thing I see
When I finally put an end to me.
Dying sounds good right now,
Just fading into black
And never coming back
To the agony living brings.
Perhaps you’ll find me hanging,
Or after OD’ing;
Someday soon you’ll find me,
It’s too late now,
I’m too far gone.
Now I’m just a ghost
Of who could’ve been someone.
What You WantMaybe you want them to noticeWhat You Want in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Maybe you want them to see
Maybe you want them to care about
How you’re lost and lonely me.
Maybe you want them to ask
Maybe you want them to know
Maybe you want them to care about
How your happiness is a show.
Maybe you want them to quiet
Maybe you want them to listen
Maybe you want them to care about
How your blood does glisten.
Maybe you want them to leave you
Maybe you want them to die
Maybe you want them to care about
How your life’s just a lie.
What You KnowSometimes the disinfectant hurts more than the infection,What You Know in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Sometimes the pain is better than the protection.
Sometimes the tears sting more than the smile,
Sometimes the yard tires more than the mile.
Sometimes the blood shines brighter than the blade,
Sometimes the heart is blacker than the spade.
Sometimes the kiss is sharper than the slap,
Sometimes the lure is worth the trap.
Sometimes the night is lighter than the day,
Sometimes the beast is weaker than the prey.
Sometimes the cut hurts less than the sob,
Sometimes the break is harder than the job.
Sometimes the lie is prettier than the truth,
Sometimes the alibi is better than the proof.
Sometimes the hate is kinder than the love,
Sometimes the buzzard is holier than the dove.
Sometimes the loser gains more than the winner,
Sometimes the saint is worse than the sinner.
Sometimes the girl is stronger than the boy,
Sometimes the child is more broken than the toy.
Sometimes the poison is sweeter than the cure,
Sometimes the dirty are
Such a ContradictionI'm just that fat kidSuch a Contradiction in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Starved of hope.
I'm just that cutter
Reaching for rope.
I'm just that dumb blonde
Reading all night.
I'm just that coward
Bleeding for a fright.
I'm just that child
I'm just that girl
With messy hair.
I'm just that burner
Wanting to be cool.
I'm just that geek
Scared of school.
I'm just that emo
Smiling with glee.
You're just another drone
But you'll never be me.
Red ScreamsSmiling at me, shiny silver teethRed Screams in Free Verse More Like This
Begging my wrist
For one chaste
Grinning at me, that evil smirk
Making my heart pound
So sharp so
I know I
And really I
Arm’s too full of blood
From attempts to
Join the stars.
Photo album of
My diary of my
I am still
Another Fallen OneThere was a lady on telly today,Another Fallen One in Free Verse More Like This
Talking from a land far away;
Her kid had died,
Torn apart from the inside.
The kid had hung herself in the family bathroom.
The lady was crying,
You could hear her heart dying
And mine did too.
I could've been that kid,
What with all the things I did
And my family could've been her;
Left with nothing but despair.
I envy the kid
For doing what she did.
I thank the kid,
Making me think about what I nearly did.
I mourn the kid,
Gone because of what others did.
Don't ever think you wouldn't be missed,
Because there's always that person
Who'll miss you,
Praying you'll pull through
Until memories of your smile is all they have.
Life ItselfThe only time I smiled todayLife Itself in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Was when I thought of dying
And how good I am at lying
Each and every single day.
I've got a box of painkillers
They sleep right by my bed
For when all I see is red,
They'll numb it into darkest white.
I've tried talking to people,
But I can't word what I want to say
And maybe I like living this way,
Knowing that I'll die soon.
I know I'm self-destructive
My crosshatch skin screams it
But inside there's a little bit
That still aches to be saved.
I've tried before and I'll try again
To put my worthlessness away
But fate forced me to stay;
Death's a bitch like that.
Life makes me want to die
Yet it won't let me leave
Or grant me a reprieve
From that which it's made me hate;
To BurnI want to set my skin on fireTo Burn in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
With Death’s icy embrace.
I want to make my head stop
And my broken heart race.
I want to fade into black
Like fog over the sea.
I want to save them the bother
Of worrying about me.
I want to bleed myself white
Until I really am just a shell.
I want to miss out on heaven
Just to escape this cursed hell.
I want to see her face again
So I can tell her my regret.
I want her face to leave me
So that I can maybe forget.
I want my friends to be happy
But I stop that from being so.
I want to lose all control
And let the red blood flow.
I want to leave this place
And abandon all breath.
I want to do something right
And that something is death.
Everything in life.I need to hurt myself... No, you don't.Everything in life. in Concrete Poetry More Like This
I did this... I need to hurt myself for it.
It won't go away if you do, you know it won't.
But everything in life has its consequence...
Maybe if I hurt myself, then I won't have to feel them,
Maybe it'll be consequence enough, if I'm hurt then.
Maybe she won't dump me for what I did too,
Maybe it'll be consequence enough for what I did to you.
I don't get why you're worried though...
But I dream the future, read my poetry, sometimes, I do.
And a few nights I felt a crossover, a nightmare come true,
And now I know that it has happened, because of what I did to you.
So now, I need to hurt myself, to give me a consequence,
So now, I need to fade away, and never be spoken of since.
And now, I want to hurt myself, to save myself more pain,
But all things come to an end, and it's always the same.
Denial.I know I'm in denial,Denial. in Concrete Poetry More Like This
Saying I don't love her.
But I still say it all the while,
Because I have been hurt.
I know I should stop this,
I know I should just face it.
But I can't face up to this,
I can only run away from it.
I know that I still love her,
I would take her back in a heartbeat,
But as I can't have her,
I lie to myself, looking down at my feet.
I know that I still love her,
But Denial is my only friend.
Armageddon.Yes, I still want you.Armageddon. in Free Verse More Like This
But do I still need you?
I need you like fire thirsts for water,
I need you like a cactus craves the sun.
I need you like a bird needs its wings clipped,
I need you as penance for all I have done.
Yet I still want you,
When your eyes are purgatory itself.
There is no passion in that fire,
But I want that simple burning hatred.
I need you like a child needs to plunge its hand into fire,
And yet you still glint and catch my eye and I want you.
I want you and need you,
Like I want and need the world to end.
You are my armageddon,
And your name is Jennifer.
ContradictionsThese things seem to rule my life,Contradictions in Concrete Poetry More Like This
Some people hate me and cause me strife,
Others think me a hero, ready to sacrifice myself.
Many think me noble, but you can decide that yourself.
Contradictions, they rule my life, "Why did she break up with you?"
A complete and utter list of contradictions, all of which I tell you,
"Does she love you?" I answer she says so, and I love her too.
A contradiction follows, "But then why did she break-up with you?"
That's the mystery, the greatest contradiction of all, to all of you,
But no, I leave out one thing, the thing that kills me inside too.
"I'm just... I'm not happy." What she said, word for word,
And I cry now, because what she said did not go unheard.
Finding... Myself?Say goodbye to that man you know,Finding... Myself? in Concrete Poetry More Like This
The one who was only there to make amends.
Say goodbye to the old me, as I go,
Because I suppose this is the way he ends.
Say goodbye to the cynical me,
The man who kept everything to himself,
Let him rest in peace, and welcome me.
For I am here still, and I am... Myself?
Say goodbye to the Cynicist,
Say goodbye to the anger and the hate,
Say hello to the Optimist.
Say hello to who you'll learn to hate.
Because that's just it, it's easily done.
I flick a switch, and I'm the old me,
I guess he was never really gone.
Say Hello to the Optimist.
For the writer of this piece is dead.
Promises, promises...I talked to her today,Promises, promises... in Free Verse More Like This
It was brief, but it went okay.
She seems sad still, but getting better,
I'm glad about that, even if it makes me sadder.
I talked to her yesterday too, tried to win her back,
Didn't work, looks like we can't just go back.
We agreed to not talk for a week you know,
I was too weak for that though...
I broke my promise, I hate to do it, but I have to sometimes,
Anyone knows I don't break them, if they read my rhymes.
Only reason we broke up was I wasn't selfish enough,
So maybe it's a good thing I wasn't too tough.
I still regret making, and breaking, that one last promise to her,
I still really wish I could tell her, "I love you Jennifer."
But no, I can't do that, I have to be keep quiet,
I promised to, but of my promises, I am tired...
The Reality.I always have nightmares, it's something I can't control,The Reality. in Free Verse More Like This
But the topic always changes, again, something I can't control.
Have you ever felt so alone in the world, you're like a shadow?
Have you ever been too scared to look out of the window?
I was, I was too scared to check if it was really tomorrow or today,
I was too afraid to see if what had happened, really happened to me.
I woke up with a heartbreaking sadness, and nothing to do,
I woke up with a crushing fear, and there was nothing I could do.
In my dream, there was always one place I longed to be,
And when I finally got there, it was no longer welcome to me.
But there is one thing I know now, and it is the reality,
And there is one thing I can tell you, that it scares me.
The reality is I love her, I knew I did of course,
But this just means I'm going to get hurt, I can take it of course...
I keep trying to find a way to make us mend,
I just don't want to, because I don't want this to
The girl with the glass heart.The boy with the black heart.The girl with the glass heart. in Free Verse More Like This
He pities the girl with the glass heart.
He is sorry that she is not made of stone like him.
He is sorry that she cannot deal with it all like him.
He promises to try help her, the best he can.
But please know this girl, he is only a man.
He cannot help you with it all, only some.
The rest is up to you, if you want it done.
He will help you with all he can, he promises.
But he cannot help you with some, he's sorry for this.
But as long as he is here, he will be trying to help.
Because you'd do the same for him, and you are his help.
So he welcomes you into his arms, with a smile on his face.
He welcomes you with a kiss, as tears fall from his face.
He is sorry you have to live with this, he really is.
But he will try help you, if only with a kiss.
He is sorry you are not made for this life like him.
He is sorry you have bad problems, just like him.
He is sad that you are, and will look after you.
Because he is your boyfriend, and his world is you.
Think again.If you think death can't be beaten, you're not trying hard enough,Think again. in Free Verse More Like This
If you think nothing is eternal, then you've never felt true love.
If you want me to help you, and I tell you to help yourself,
You would think me rude, but some things I just can't tell you myself.
You live and you learn, and you have to live these things,
Empiricism is the only way to know how a nightingale sings.
You must know it for yourself, some things cannot be taught,
When you learn, you must adapt and change what you once thought.
My friend, it is not that I want to keep the knowledge to myself,
It is that I cannot tell you, for some things you must learn yourself.
I cannot tell you what beauty is, for it is everchanging for all of us,
I cannot tell you what is bad or good, for the knowledge is within us.
If I could tell you, I gladly would, if I could put these concepts into words,
But I cannot, so you must live and learn, no matter how much it hurts.
So now it is time,
Statue In The RainI'm not dead because I'm still breathing,Statue In The Rain in Free Verse More Like This
I'm not dead because I'm finally living.
I'm still here because you always need me,
I won't leave you if you don't leave me.
I'm still here, right where you left me,
The statue in the rain, ready to give you glee.
When you feel sad, you know where to go,
I'm not dead, I'm here for you and I hope you know.
That I'm still here, and always will be for you,
That I'll remain as long as I know you want me to.
That the statue in the rain will always be waiting for you,
Because Jennifer, I love you.
You have a choice.Life. Full of laughter, full of smiles.You have a choice. in Free Verse More Like This
Full of love and happiness.
Life. Full of tears, full of bruises.
Choose a path. Ashes or rose petals?
Black or blue eyes.
Loud or soft cries.
Cherish the smiles.
Wipe away the tears.
Because life is too short, to be living in fear.
BrokenBroken.Broken in Free Verse More Like This
Broken hearts, broken promises
Broken eyes, broken souls
These are the traits ive come to known
I look in the mirror
and what do i see?
A broken person staring back at me.
ForbiddenI need youForbidden in Free Verse More Like This
But I cant have you
I want you
But youre forbidden
I love you
You love me
Im in love with you
But youre not in love with me too
lifeSmiles at first, happiness insidelife in Free Verse More Like This
Never thought that there would be
this many tears Ive cried
Suffering in silence
Inside im screaming
I try to be nice
and just pray for a reasoning slice
Even though its a long shot
I still have an inch of hope
That maybe youll see its not easy to cope
with the pain i have inside that's remote
(not) strongShe's so strong(not) strong in Free Verse More Like This
I don't know how she does it
She's been through so much
Yet she keeps standing tall
No I dont know how she gets through it all
She's so strong...
She cries at night
behind closed doors
feeling like shes just been stabbed with a sword
All this is hidden behind a smile
she doesnt wanna seem like she is just a child
She hides it so well
hides it with fake happiness
And just when she thinks she will break free
Her old friend pain comes back to decree
That it will be even more difficult
for her to be happy
she's so strong...
Days of usSay somethingDays of us in Free Verse More Like This
Cuz im giving up on you
Youre no longer the one i want
not the one I need
Youre no good for me
Even though it hurts
I must leave you
For this is the end
of the days of us
Nothing.You dont know how I feelNothing. in Free Verse More Like This
You dont understand my life
You dont want to know how I feel
You dont want to understand my life
Youre just supposed to KNOW.
Youre just supposed to UNDERSTAND.
That is what is supposed to happen
when you are in love
But you dont get it.
You sit there and tell me Im wrong.
Nothing I say is right.
Nothing I do is right.
Im just nothing.
WhyI guess I deserve itWhy in Free Verse More Like This
I got too attached
I should never have let open
My heart that has a latch
You ignore me now
Like I dont even exist
But something about you is so hard to resist
What did I do wrong?
Oh thats right Im clingy
Im sorry I thought
That wouldnt be so spooky
I dont deserve you I guess
Because I dont deserve much
Except for this hurt
that youre unable to touch
You.Ask for an apology? No i wouldnt dareYou. in Songs & Lyrics More Like This
Cuz even if you did apologize I know itd sound sheer
How dare you say i cant
Theres no way that imma let myself look bent
I wont let muself look weak
When you try and stop my speech
First amendment chick
ever heard of it?
You gave up, so how about you just shut up
I wont make the same mistakes you did
Im not a little kid
I refuse to be like you
always waiting for the other shoe (to drop)
so try and take me down
Im waiting for the sound
But in the end Ill be celebrating
and youll be suffocating
We Will Never BeI met you on August 18th of 2008.We Will Never Be in Free Verse More Like This
I remember how hot it was in the classroom
That day and how your eyes widened with confusion
As I sat down next to you.
I will never forget those eyes.
You loved Mondays and dreaded Fridays.
I thought you were crazy and you told
Me that the only reason was so you
Could see me in school.
I still thought you were crazy.
We would do our math assignments on the
Playground and talk about our lives.
We were so different, but you always
Insisted that we were absolutely perfect.
I wish I would have known how right you were.
I miss you so much that I can't sleep.
But I have to keep moving because you
Promised me that we would be again, remember?
You held my hand for a second too long and
Told me that you would see me tomorrow.
And I believed you because your eyes had that same
Warm look in them that you always got when
You would tell me something important.
I've seen you three times since then, and we
Have walked away from each other
PleaseI want you to love mePlease in Free Verse More Like This
A little like I love you.
Like lovers kissing
For the first time that
It sets the world on fire.
And I plan to burn down
With it because I keep failing
To realize that I'm more than
Just a body for you to touch,
A body for you to hold.
You arms around my ribs
Makes me feel so fragile,
But so safe that I could not
Possibly break while you
And I can feel you hand slipping
From mine even though I beg
You to stay because I hate
The word goodbye and how
You look as you walk away.
I want you to remember me
When you arrive.
And I want you to remember me
When you leave me behind.
SorryIt doesn't matter if I've kissed anyoneSorry in Free Verse More Like This
Since you've been gone.
And I haven't,
I meant it when I said I wanted
Your lips to be the last ones
Maybe I'm only missing you enough
To make my heart sink.
And I want to be held in arms
That care because I don't
Remember what it feels like.
But I do remember the feeling
Of your hand in mine as we
Fell asleep together.
And I just want you to talk to me.
I want you to smile because of
Something I said, but maybe that's
Too selfish of me.
I was always that way.
I don't know how to live,
There's really no point
When I keep dying every day.
But my lungs keep taking in
The air and I breathe.
I Can't Hear You AnymoreThe clouds are heavy tonight,I Can't Hear You Anymore in Free Verse More Like This
And I am suffocating,
Choking on my own words
As they fly from my mouth.
You never cared about yourself,
And after your death that
Became hard to think about.
(But I do anyway.)
I suddenly find myself missing
The years we had spent together
And how spider webs would form in
The corners of your eyes when you smiled.
But the thing is that I can’t hear you anymore.
I can’t remember the sound
Of your voice or the feeling of
Your hands as they touched my lips.
You once told me that home
Is where you lie,
But I hate it here, and
I hate living with these ghosts.
I Am WishingI am wishing I wasn't alone,I Am Wishing in Free Verse More Like This
That my brain would shut off,
That people would listen
When I whisper the undeniable truth.
But if no one listens
Then who the hell cares?
I am wishing that you were here
To smother my nightmares
And make me feel like I am safe.
If they can't see what I see
When I close my eyes
Then is it really there?
I am wishing that you still loved me,
That you would feel more for me
Than you do for her,
But I will never be good enough.
If you hold me and say everything is fine
Will it be a lie?
And I just wish you would say something
Because the silence screams
More truth than I can take.
And I just miss the sound of your voice like crazy.
But if I can't feel my own heart beating in my chest
Does that mean I am no longer living?
I don't know
DrowningI feel AshamedDrowning in Free Verse More Like This
Of everything I have ever written,
And everyone I have ever Loved.
I’m growing Tired of writing
About the stories where I fell apart
Again and again.
I’m Sick of crying
For hours upon hours while being
Held by a man who doesn't feel my Pain.
I Wish so badly that I could say,
Because I know I don’t deserve this,
But as the room starts to spin
I know I’m letting myself Down again.
When I'm GoneI want to tell you something although IWhen I'm Gone in Free Verse More Like This
Don’t know why I even try.
You were never the type who liked
To listen to what was on my mind,
But I’ll just keep talking anyway.
Maybe this time I’ll get through.
Here’s the thing:
I want to be the reason why
You can’t sleep at night,
Or the reason you don’t eat.
I want you to feel that twist
In your stomach when you see
Something that reminds you of me.
I want you to know the
Feeling of a heart that has been torn.
It beats in your chest, but it still isn't
Enough to convince you that you’re alive.
I want you to feel emptiness every
Time you realize that I’m not there,
And that it is because of you.
Believe me when I say I don’t
Miss you, and that I never could have
Possibly been in love with you.
I want you to see what you've done,
And actually mean it when you say you’re sorry.
I want so many things that will never happen
All because you were better than I was.
I Might Need YouI think I might need you,I Might Need You in Free Verse More Like This
But here's the thing:
I'm spinning out of control
And careening off the side of the road.
I pretend to hold on to the wheel,
But we both know I'll crash.
It wasn't a fair fight.
If you would listen,
If you would actually listen,
You would hear me whispering
"I want you."
"I need you."
And if you would listen,
If you would actually listen,
You would know that
We are horribly wrong
For each other,
And that my words mean nothing.
But what's to stop us from
Sharing our sheets anyway?
We sleep folded together
Like slips of origami paper
Pressed so tightly that
We could not possibly split.
I think I might need you,
But here's the thing:
I really wish I didn't.
I wish it was you,
And not me.
For YouListen:For You in Free Verse More Like This
I would be lying if I said that I didn't
Think of you every time I close my eyes,
That my mind doesn't wander to thoughts
Of you whenever I'm lonely,
That I don't whisper your name
While I sleep.
Truth be told, I am inevitably in love with you.
In a way that makes my heart skip a beat every time
I see you smile, every time I hear you laugh.
It's the fact that I still get butterflies whenever
You lightly whisper my name in my ear
That lets me know we are something more.
Nothing has ever seemed so comforting than
The feeling of your arms wrapped around my waist.
I smile up to you as we share a brief connection of
Soft lips and grazing teeth that makes me swoon.
Believe me when I say that I think of you
Every time I close my eyes,
That my mind always wanders to thoughts
Of you when I'm lonely,
That I whisper your name while I sleep.
Believe me when I say that I love you,
That there's nowhere I'd rather be
Than with you.
MaybeYour body has been usedMaybe in Free Verse More Like This
By all of those who are broken.
The ones who are trying to repair
Their own wounds with
No regards towards your own.
You are a hand for him to hold
While he thinks of her
And tries to forget the emptiness
And the fact that he is alone.
For a brief moment while
He is inside of you,
You feel as if you are the
Missing half of the whole,
And it is perfect.
He recites memorized lines
And you wonder who else
Has heard them before you,
But you tell yourself that
You're the first anyway.
Your body has been used
By all of those who are broken,
And you begin to wish that
You could be loved once,
And loved most.
Repulsive By DesignLet me tell you this my friendRepulsive By Design in Free Verse More Like This
And I will tell you no more
If my passion is your crime
Then your love should be my law
I’m the exception to the rule
And the end of this blood line
I should hang my head in shame
I am repulsive by design
Allow me to elucidate
And I will tell you no lie
I am charged with being charmless
And I have no alibi
Feloniously you broke my heart
One chamber at a time
Though I’d expect nothing less
I am repulsive by design
Beware of the broken hearted
Indeed consider with caution
Repulsion cleansed my sorry soul
Such a spiritual abortion
But when a full term of sorrow
And low self esteem combine
I still remain unloveable
I am repulsive by design
Target WeightI am afraid because I knowTarget Weight in Free Verse More Like This
That I will never arrive
At a point where I am nourished
And emotionally satisfied
So to regulate my mood
I consume levels that disgrace
They suppose that this is greed
That assumption is misplaced
I’m addicted to the feeling
The short term stimulation
But that only makes me more prone
To those feelings of deflation
And stomach cramps and pains
Loose skin hanging from my bones
Eyes sinking into my skull
And those deathly grey skin tones
Will I ever fill the hole
Silence those voices for a while
I prepare my gut for sorrow
While I am spoon fed on denial
But life’s too much to digest
An acid reflux episode
Regurgitate my memories
Before my stomach explodes
In a culture such as ours
The blame lays nowhere but my plate
I chose the fats, sugars and salts
The impossible target weight
Now I’m afraid because I know
The end has already arrived
In the form of this addiction
To a staple we need to survive
An Ode To A SmileOf late there has been something missingAn Ode To A Smile in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
From my visage, my mien and my face
My adult self not able to regain
What it is my childhood has misplaced
The absence has become more apparent
And is there for the assemblage to see
But as it did not happen over night
The origin remains a mystery
Could it be the colour and the tone
Of my sallow skin pigmentation
From too many hours indoors alone
And within my imagination
Perhaps I should pierce my ear and nose
Rebel against a faceless system
Or indeed tattoo text upon my neck
Quoting some so-called ancient wisdom
I could iron out all of the creases
Nip and tuck on my pronounced cheek bones
But this would mean erasing my journey
So I might never find my way home
And none of these things in any case
Will ever change the person that I am
Or influence the mood of the others
Like a timely facial expression can
From limbic system to nerve and muscle
To the countenance conveyed on my face
So complex that even Mona Lisa’s mood
Took over four year
BlackI always wear the colour blackBlack in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
As it reflects my inner mood
Black is the absence of colour
Now I feel the absence of you
Black is my inert, withered heart
Immobilised since you’ve been gone
A vacuous hole of nothing
Lifeless, vapid and monochrome
Black is the frayed material
Of the grim reaper’s deathly cloak
So in the darkest evening sky
You would never see his approach
Black is the colour and the shade
Of the star speckled, moonlit sky
And the shadow which you once cast
In the early morning sunshine
Black is my weeping mascara
As down my face the tears will stream
From the little puddles of ink
My pupils nowhere to be seen
Black are those things I've gazed upon
With my sorrowful eyes shut tight
Even rainbows become polluted
Within the filth of my mind’s eye
Black is how I’m feeling today
But should I not be feeling blue
Like my blood before you cut it red
Like your blood before I cut you
Black is t
Learn To Be StrongThis is normally the time when the tears comeLearn To Be Strong in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
When the words hurt and the bruises sting
But little did they know you have grown inside
Now you are immune to their bullying
The chances are that they may have suffered too
But this is no reason to be so vile
Now you’re twelve angry men finding them guilty
Of stealing your taut, tremulous smile
This is normally the time when you tremble
Huddle yourself up into a ball
But the only spherical shape they’ll be seeing
Is the flail as it maims and appals
The chances are that you will shatter their skull
And with that become as bad as them
Where were their morals when you were the victim?
You just want good old fashioned revenge
This is normally the time you’re rendered silent
But today you’ve at last found your voice
Now both weapon and word are lay beside you
You are no beast, you’ll make the right choice
And the chances are that when they’re confronted
The shamed predator will know they’ve done wrong
Only When I WriteThe drama unfurling in my lifeOnly When I Write in Free Verse More Like This
Feels like the shadow of my hand
That grows as it comes ever closer
To the light perched on my bed stand
In that I can feel the darkest cloud
Ever such a menacing sight
In time I can reverse the feeling
But only when I write
Seclusion left me with nothing
Apart from creativity
Loneliness it turns out, my friends
Is quite the aperitif
For the feast that is awaiting me
If I make it through the night
Tomorrow always brings me new hope
But only when I write
You approach me on a good day
And I will offer you a smile
The same expression on the worst days
Because my manners are so mild
But don’t take me for a toothless fool
When cornered I’ve been known to bite
Fear not, those demons remain at bay
But only when I write
Her Daily MasqueradeToday her parents ask how her day has beenHer Daily Masquerade in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
By now the answer has been well rehearsed
She insists to them that everything is fine
But the reality is the reverse
In fact she’s the antonym of the word ‘fine’
This is due to her creatively cursed mind
Steeped in a world of such simplicity
Yesterday friends asked how she has been coping
Waiting for their turn to talk, do they care?
They just see a happy, contented princess
Not a pensive, vacant, glazed over stare
In fact she’s the opposite of contented
Restless and at war with reality
Battling feelings of alienation
From unsupportive friends and family
Tomorrow strangers will ask her what is wrong
But in white lies she has become well versed
Knowing that the tar black pit of torrid truth
Will not dilute and only make things worse
She’s living the antonym of the word ‘truth’
But her lies are not designed to betray
Just to cover the cracks and to smother those
Blanking Out The Bad DaysI don’t like to keep blanking out the bad thoughtsBlanking Out The Bad Days in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
As this means missing out on whole days
In fact weeks, months and years are passing me by
Which tells me this is not just a phase
But that’s not what my loved ones like to believe
They tell me it’s my age and will soon pass
Their turpentine optimism is misplaced
As my future begins to fade like brass
I don’t like to keep blanking out the bad days
But of late I do not have much choice
See anytime someone asks if I’m okay
A tremble can be heard in my voice
Somehow though I always keep it together
Like a jigsaw laid out on a table
But when I am alone I fall to pieces
In a box with a ‘parts missing’ label
I don’t like to keep blanking out the voices
But they question each decision I make
And lure me into troubles as if they’re a puddle
When they turn out to be a lake
That is always just one foot deeper in depth
Than my fragile frame is tall in height
And I know if I keep blanking out th
The Right Hand Curse ReversedEverything that my right hand has ever writtenThe Right Hand Curse Reversed in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Comes from the heart and mind of a boy that is cursed
So from now on I’ll learn to write with my left hand
In hope not expectation that this curse will be reversed
And then I shall sit in front of an open fire
Unflinching as each flame licks closer to my face
Not close enough though so it could swallow me whole
But just close enough so that it can have a taste
Of the beads of regret in my perspiration
That are forming and rolling down my furrowed brow
From a wildfire mind that is now out of control
Come thoughts that these damp morals fail to disallow
Everything that my right hand has ever written
Might as well have been scribed in invisible ink
With my thoughts being a vessel on a voyage of hope
And the weight of my memories causing it to sink
Right down to the depths of the deepest ocean floor
And left down there to rot beneath the sea bed
I thank the Lord that they’ll remain out of reach
And that none of the words I’ve
The Little Girl BlinkedThe little girl blinked and he was goneThe Little Girl Blinked in Free Verse More Like This
Unsure if he was ever really there
But she knew that something had inspired her
To do things she wouldn’t normally dare
A teardrop too many he once told her
Had brought him from the shadows of her mind
As those around her began to wander
Across her imagination's fine line
But now he seemed to have walked away
As she found the life she had long sought
He slowly drifted back to the shadows
From her notebook and her beautiful thoughts
And the fools around her carried the spades
Burying him with her imagination
With an epitaph etched on a tombstone
‘Here lies my potential for creation’
Though he never existed beyond her thoughts
He was as real as a chrysalis on a tree
The butterfly perhaps was her freedom
The caterpillar was her memories
But she still sees his face in the reflection
Of her brown eyes in the cracked mirror
Knowing that he is alive and well
And is always going to be with her
People never understand reality
We are just
Six O' ClockLay me to sleep on the warm summer curbs.Six O' Clock in Free Verse More Like This
I want the skyscrapers in my bones
And their light beneath my nails.
I want a burgundy August strung between my teeth
So I can suck the seconds from the season
And smile like September.
words that wreck mei loved writing but i loved you more so i wrotewords that wreck me in Free Verse More Like This
you a fairytale and tucked you in-between
the pages i'm sorry that i didn't ask your
permission before having the princess end up with another
princess i should have stopped short of happily
ever after 'cause when things are vague and
complicated we'll always find ways to pull the right words
out of a tragedy
W a i-im not fast enough to catch quicksilverW a i- in Free Verse More Like This
though, id like to say i had touched it once
damn- swear i heard a hello out there
somewhere above the broken thermometers on the kitchen floor
oh god please- im praying as hard as i can for you to tell me that its not
only the pretty girls who get drops of mercury
on their dresses
The Boy Who Couldn't SwimHe had harbor beam bones that splintered like gaspsThe Boy Who Couldn't Swim in Free Verse More Like This
Anchor-hung lungs that sank him down into the deep
Until minnows lacerated his fingertips
Until shark jaws kissed his jugular
Until sand corroded his veins
Until he drifted like a buoy
Wondering if he was the first person to ever walk over a sea of broken glass
Just for the pleasure of it
killing girls instead of mockingbirdsand with car-crashes in her eyes andkilling girls instead of mockingbirds in Free Verse More Like This
self harm on her hands with murder in her
bones and birds in her skull she'll look up at god
and ask him why she's not pretty
love me like maybut dreary darling don't make wisheslove me like may in Free Verse More Like This
on the coils of wind that kiss your cheeks
promised not to know you
on some night in May when
stars were white wash and clothes smelled like
cold fingers will always stiffly search
you out like some wine stain between the
know that my frame rattles with the dead leaves of some
skinny October some
thin-rag cat on the curb
you'll count ribs where they lay underneath
press your ear to my
you love the way it feels when
i tell you im lonely
to cherish the spidersDarling, you're such a cruel little thing.to cherish the spiders in Free Verse More Like This
You've locked up another poor girl in your wardrobe
Thinking that you can preserve her like mold in a dark corner.
She isn't some fungus to flourish to the thrum of your humid heart.
Yet you feel justified enough to plant your poisons among the sweetness of her skinny stitch-skin.
You know, if you're not careful, she'll waste away inside your body's cage of bones and bars.
And then you'll have nothing but a skeleton in your closet.
V I O L E N T V I O L I N SAnd he played in the darkV I O L E N T V I O L I N S in Free Verse More Like This
To solace his ache
While down in the kitchen they left hurt in their wake
Going to war like dogs in a cage
It was impossible to drown out their bark.
Bow grinded hard against feline entrails
He canines were bared in a crucified grin
And the hunters below would soon pad up the stairs to earn themselves a new skin
And the howl of his strings damned the full moon
But anger is what pain entails.
Darling don't sit-and-stay while your world rips apart
Love a little louder
And deafen your heart
Play boy, play
Through the rage and decay
Your snarling fiddle will scare them away
Pray boy, pray
With a lupin's bay
Or you hide will be hung and your lungs aflay
Scream boy, scream
To pierce this dream
To keep things as they are, and seem
Darling don't sit-and-stay while your world rips apart
Love a little louder
And deafen your heart
i will put lions in youextrinsic like a church to dogs; destructive like a shrine dedicated to thei will put lions in you in Free Verse More Like This
art of breaking windows; fugacious like a vessel for daisies, so i'll push;
crumbling, these fissures aren't anything unfamiliar, so don't pick me up
because i'll definitely cut you the second you think i'm something broken
i am doing this because i am something amazing, and i think you should
watch this sunblood streaking across these white walls of yours hanging
wings of warm shadow to hover warily above this frame of firelight be-
neath bay windows; tearing down the tarp of your setting sky, breathing
wildfires like rampant horses across the canvas; watch as i paint the
heaven that humans were never meant to imagine i am overflowing
with the heat that you never knew you could miss; let me show you what
i am capa
Remembering PlutoHe told me years later she swallowed the sunRemembering Pluto in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
And it scares me that she wasn't afraid
When she popped those gold pills
Through her blood the flame spills
And that night in her veins the light weighed
A simpering nova in her coffin was lain
Instead of the body with familiar finesse
The moon stayed a stranger
The ozone, her manger
And zodiacs made evening her dress
Now in this twilight, watching planes rape the sky
I'm perplexed, but of one thing I'm sure
He won't sleep tonight
Brushing stars from his sight
He'll weep and make wishes on her
Sleeping Souls Never Liethey buried youSleeping Souls Never Lie in Free Verse More Like This
with stars in your palms, because
they thought it was a crime
you'd never made a wish in your life
the dirt and darkness
was enough to extinguish
their dying lights
(it's okay, your silent skin
said, softly, I always wanted
the sky to bring me to sleep)
the priest begged, believing you
might rise from the hole
you'd dug for yourself
he wanted to let you know
there was something bigger than all of us,
someplace farther than 6 feet under
(I'm alright, your stony eyes
swore, sometimes falling
feels enough like flying)
their voices all filled with tears
even though you said you weren't worth
their worries, they wept for the future
you wouldn't get to live
(I wouldn't have lived it anyways,
they buried you
near the ocean, where the moon
always shone too bright
so you'd never again have to fear
any monsters of the night
they left flowers, photos, notes
and a little bit of themselves, too
when they finally left you
you believed it was right
in which I become beautifulI drown my conscience inin which I become beautiful in Free Verse More Like This
the holy water of my wrists,
I carve hearts from empty
paper for my galaxyboy
with stars written in his skin,
and I swallow moths to
muffle the emptiness and
help me fly away.
radiantI amradiant in Free Verse More Like This
unrealistic ideologies of an
are toxic; breathing
is a chore. there is
a careful warmth in the
combined effort of
we are the forgotten.
we are the tangled limbs
and childhood stories for
a more sensitive future; we
are the longing, we are
we are measured
in the people we touch;
and I will love you
in the UV light of
hide and seek paranoia.
I love you in the red shimmer
of harbored dreams, I love you
in the industrial gl
in which I gain sentiencesave roomin which I gain sentience in Free Verse More Like This
for doubt, in the silence between
religious guilt and stolen
body heat. I am made of helium.
in my dreams they
pop me and
watch me flutter. I wonder if everyone
else’s head is so congested as mine,
hyperactive with inattentive people.
you are never serious--
he stares at me in a different
set of eyes; there are words
I cannot say, there are
things I cannot tell you.
(twice a week
I watch the people I love
leave me for good.
spiders in my throat,
Growing Upit seems that by now I’ve been diagnosedGrowing Up in Free Verse More Like This
with a mild case of weightlessness, mindless
drifting past empty homes and the emptier people
that purchased them. I remember conversations
with you about existentialism
and the almost intricate fabric of my mind and
everything in between, and you-- the way you
paused before making a point as
the words defined themselves in your head:
I remember the day I told you I was God.
Creator of all things unimportant, trapped
in the body of a girl with nothing left to give, you
it must be a beautiful place
inside your head, with a world
that revolves around hope and expectations
the way it was supposed to; all
storybook-perfect like the
wars promise we’ll one day
[I’d like to think that every great leader
once cried themselves to sleep wondering
if they’d ever mean anything and
did things to stand out like smoking
or drinking or pretending to be someone
they’re not and every morning they’d tilt
stories from wonderlandthis is allstories from wonderland in Free Verse More Like This
real, realer than I'd
like; my friends are ghosts
passing through the skeleton of me.
I am afraid of their words,
trailing from their lips
like wisps of smoke;
I have secondhand self-esteem
issues. and you,
you are more handsome now
than you ever were before
I was blinded by the
light. you hurt
like I do and in a world
of painkillers and
existential numbness that
is the fucking world, you hurt
like I do and you try
to shake it from your skin
like a shiver. you look at me
like I'm a natural disaster
and I guess I'm shivering, too, but
not for the same reason.
I don't know how to live
without wanting to die; you were
supposed to be the adventure
through unfamiliar territory
but you left
like I should.
I understand what it is
now to need someone. every
irregular heartbeat is a mini.eclipse
and I need that spark
so badly; I need you
to light me from
the inside like a lantern
this fear of the dark
butterfliedit is a snakebutterflied in Free Verse More Like This
coiled in my stomach,
the urge to vomit
everything inside of me, to purge
all the toxic not-
good-enoughs. to retell
the same story and expect
a different ending is
the dysfunction that landed
us in here. I'm sorry
I don't follow you into
your dreams at night. I'm sorry
my smile is not the moon,
I'm sorry I did anything
to make you notice
me at all. no finger
down the throat could ever
car crash on an empty roadit happened beforecar crash on an empty road in Free Verse More Like This
we did. it was more a person
than you or I or that boy
in the park trying
to convince us to
stupid. it happened
before your smile
cracked the sky in half, before
our laughters slurred into
a dissonant song, before
your fingers traced the stories
lying on my face before I knew
just how many pieces of sunshine
were trapped in your hair before
the walls became the ceiling and
I wasn’t claustrophobic.
things I remember:
the red blur of your room like
God was experimenting with the
symbolism in abstract art, the
tri-tone shimmering of your eyes
like the surface of the water, the way
you defined perfection as a scale of
women ending with a less than sensible
me, the way you always moved like
you were dancing and no one was there to
to the girl with hungry footstepsI'm sending all my words backto the girl with hungry footsteps in Free Verse More Like This
to the people who need them--
people who wear scars like
war trophies, like jewelry, like
an identification for those suffering
from the same acceptance of
self-hate. this is to the people
who sleep with one eye open, who
cry when footsteps enter their room
at night; this is to the girls
who love by cutting their hearts
into snowflakes and watching
them melt. I left you behind and
I can't be sorry for that.
you are the type of beautiful
that kindly asks the world
to fuck off. the days we buried
have decomposed, headstones are
snapshots; sanitized breakdowns,
rusty tongues, sighs laced
with fear, I love you, I love
you. saturdays were the best
because we could sleep through
the nightmare. you painted me a
picture of the world with your words
and they made us wash it away
for being transparent.
we were afraid of nothing
but the monsters in our eyelids.
back then, we counted days
like shooting stars; it took 67
to wish myself away. this
is for you, skygazer;
gossamer loveyou will love a womangossamer love in Free Verse More Like This
who uses the word
too often. she will
diagnose dead artists' descents
into madness and laugh
too loudly at jokes
no one understands.
she will braid crowns of
flowers, she will write poems
in constellations, she will
try to walk like a dancer so
no one can hear her
leave. she will be
an ice sculpture, and when
she cries, you'll convince yourself
she's melting, she loves you, you've
changed her, you've
changed; she will wear you
like a comma, like
an incomplete thought,
in her story, and
she will leave you wondering
The Weeping AngelShe holds her head in her hands,The Weeping Angel in Free Verse More Like This
Never breathing or blinking.
She is a morbid master of the sands,
Of time that terrorises your torment:
Gaze upon her vile visage and away you go.
She stands alone in such grace,
Never talking or thinking.
She has her elusive eyes on your face,
Of innocence that isolates your idiocy:
Look at her sinister snarl and you'll depart too.
She watches you with utter patience,
Never whistling or winking.
She'll turn lights low in her defence,
Of malevolence that murders your mind:
Stare out to her granite guise and forget all you know.