I am a labelI slid the blade across my wrist
Again and again.
Maybe I’m an emotional freak.
I cause fights and arguments
Maybe I’m a troublemaker.
I use make up to make myself seem
Maybe I’m girly.
I complain about things
Even when sometimes
Maybe I’m an attention seeker.
I fall under so many
So maybe I am a label.
I’m just me.
What Happened?I used to think make upWhat Happened? in Free Verse More Like This
Made people ugly.
Now I think I'm ugly without it.
I used to think people
Always loved me.
Now I think everyone hates me.
I used to think everybody
Was my best friend.
Now I think no one truly is.
I used to think
Boys were icky!
Now I wish I had one.
What happened to being
No Longer a Little GirlDear imagination, can't you be the thing you wereNo Longer a Little Girl in Free Verse More Like This
Butterflies and daffodils and happiness so pure
Sunny skies and lullabies and dreams of what could be
Hidden worlds and wonderlands of things they couldn't see
Shining gowns and silver crowns for dancing with the prince
Twirling with excitement, though the others weren't convinced
Dear intimidation, did you find it to be true
All I ever needed was an overdose of you
Silly stares and laughter slowly flood a child's mind
Making me abandon every daydream I could find
Lost beneath the shadows of the sky so dark and dead
Far too weak to turn around, yet scared of things ahead
Dear destructive tendencies, I feel it's time to hear
You were all I had when nothing else seemed to be near
Everything so out of reach, too far for me to see
I decided I would choose the needle next to me
Slicing through my very skin to feel something once more
Weeping through the satisfaction I could not ignore
Dear imagination, can't you be the thing you were?
I'm Fine"Are you okay?"I'm Fine in Free Verse More Like This
No. I'm dying. I have to push myself to wake up in the morning, and when I finally do, I want to go back to sleep. Even my best dreams are becoming nightmares. I can't taste food, I can't stand the things I used to love. I'm breaking. I'm fading. I'm dying.
LabelsAttention seeker?Labels in Free Verse More Like This
Maybe fighting for acception.
Rather, suffering rejection...
Maybe breaking for direction...
Perhaps dying for correction...
Maybe hurting for affection..
So maybe before you label someone just because you don't feel a connection...
Maybe fix yourself before you point out imperfections.
Good Enough... for YOU.As I sit here cradling the blade in my handsGood Enough... for YOU. in Free Verse More Like This
Treasuring the moments I wish that I had
I can't stop growing more lost and confused
I can't stop thinking... am I good enough for you?
As I sit here, wrapping the rope around my neck
No one will understand a meaning so complex
I simply can't stop thinking about it somehow
Thinking, am I good enough for you now?
As I sit here, pulling the trigger on the gun
I think, maybe I was never meant for "the one"...
goes the bullet.
For when I think it through...
I really won't ever be good enough for you.
The Face At The DoorThe face at the door is a demon, a godThe Face At The Door in Free Verse More Like This
He smiles through stitches, his stare rather odd
The face at the door is a cruel, silent being
Yet, people are calm, and the children aren't fleeing
Quiet yourself, for you're the only one
Crying for help at the point of a gun
Learn how to fly, rather, learn how to fall,
The face at the door... well... there's no face at all.
AsylumWho are you?Asylum in Free Verse More Like This
Where are you?
What... are you?
The blinding white walls
Closing in on you
Who are you?
Certainly not that
happy little girl
jumping through fairy tales
as a sunset paints the silver sky.
Where are you?
Definitely not where
you'd want to be.
What are you?
Blood, scars, wounds.
All you see are shadows
In a room of white walls...
Sick of societyI may live inside my own, twisted universeSick of society in Free Verse More Like This
I may change, sometimes for the worst.
What's normal to me is not normal for you.
Sometimes I just do what I need to do.
Behind a brick wall, I hoped someone would break it
I threw out my heart hoping someone would take it.
But I got tired of hiding and tired of hating
And instead of throwing myself at every guy, I'm waiting.
I'm sick of the person I tried to be
So basically, here I am, I will be me
I'm sick of the hatred, would you not agree?
.. Basically I'm sick of society.
Dear fucked society,Dear fucked up society,Dear fucked society, in Free Verse More Like This
Why do you take our rights?
Our human rights?
To who we love?
To who we are.. To our image?
You force images down our throat;
Images of airbrushed, false looking
people. You want people to look
more skinny and cause anorexia,
More along the hidden line that
you dig under the ground like
a dead forgotten body yet always there
You show us that its not right to be gay,
lesbian, bi-sexual or transgendered..
And then wonder why the suicide rate is
so fucking high. You cause the nightmares
and terrors of our family not accepting us
Things I'll Never SayThere are certain things I’ll never say,Things I'll Never Say in Free Verse More Like This
Like how I thought about killing myself today
Just to keep my own scary thoughts away.
Like how I stay awake way too late
To be sure I don’t awake in a bloody state.
Like how I soaked white into red last night
And turned myself into a ghastly sight.
Like how it hurts too much to breathe
When I make my own skin seethe.
Like how I Google things I shouldn’t
When I want to do things I couldn’t.
Like how I’m scared of being alone
Yet I’m only happy when I’m on my own.
Like how I know I’ll wind up killing myself
And turn into just a dusty photo on a dusty shelf.
Like how I make myself bleed every day
Even though I know I can’t go on this way.
Like how I maybe want someone to see
And for them to somehow help me.
But nobody will ever help me,
Because those are all the things I’ll never say.
Chained and ShamedNobody gets it.Chained and Shamed in Free Verse More Like This
I don’t want saving,
I don’t want ”friends”;
I just want all ends
To be met in red.
I hate how plain my skin is,
How it should be painted;
I’m the addiction’s harlot,
I do as it must dictate
And when it tells me to seal my bloody fate;
I bloody well will.
I’m too full of blood,
I need to let some out.
But know this isn’t a shout
This is me coping
With how I’m hoping
Nobody’ll care when I go.
Cutting isn’t for attention;
It’s for a brief suspension
Of everything else.
It is mine and I’m its,
It doing as I want
And I its slave
Until there’s nothing left to save.
I don’t fear death
Half as much as I do breath.
Because I’d be lying
If I said dying
Wasn’t on my list of things to do today.
Hope (I Won't)I won't let a razor bladeHope (I Won't) in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Take away this life I've made.
I won't let the shame and guilt
Ruin everything I've built.
I won't let being wrong
Stop me from being strong.
I won't let sorrow and pain
Resurrect the demons that I've slain.
I won't let ugly spite
Tell me that I'm not right.
I won't let the dark past
Make my endless hurt last.
I won't let this noose
Leave me hanging loose.
I won't let the world win;
My life is only just about to begin.
Cross My WristsCross my wrists and hope to die,Cross My Wrists in Free Verse More Like This
I will only ever lie
When you ask me if I’m fine
Or if I like this life of mine.
If I had a gun,
I’d put it to my head
And turn bouncy blonde,
Into ruby red.
You want me to stop cutting;
I’ll stop when I’m dead.
The last time I’ll cut
Will be the last thing I see
When I finally put an end to me.
Dying sounds good right now,
Just fading into black
And never coming back
To the agony living brings.
Perhaps you’ll find me hanging,
Or after OD’ing;
Someday soon you’ll find me,
It’s too late now,
I’m too far gone.
Now I’m just a ghost
Of who could’ve been someone.
Carry OnI like sharp things;Carry On in Free Verse More Like This
The way they shine
The way they hurt
The way they leave a red line.
I like to bleed;
The way it's red
They way it hurts
The way it washes out what they said.
I like to live;
The way it's wrong
The way it hurts
The way it tells me that I am strong.
RelapseHere we go again.Relapse in Free Verse More Like This
Another panic attack,
Just when I thought I was done.
Well, ain’t it fun,
To be a nervous wreck?
Only I’m a big kid now.
To be the resident
When you’re not beautiful.
God, I sound emo.
And so maybe I am
(by definition, at least)
But I feel like a sham –
What am I to you?
Would you care
If I lived out my dark little fantasies?
Got swallowed by the dark seas,
Of my soul?
Would you care
If I went back to the blade
That you forbade
Me to seek solace in?
If you knew what went on in my head,
A million different ways
To make me dead,
Would you tell me to just
‘Not feel down’ anymore?
If I could stop feeling this way,
Stop thinking like this?
LifelineI hate how I look;Lifeline in Free Verse More Like This
The bags beneath my eyes.
I hate who I am;
The endless torrent of lies.
Sometimes I do things I know I shouldn't
And I don't do things I know I should,
Only that I could and would,
Because that's how people work.
Everyone has motives
And nobody is selfless
In this world that doesn't want
Everyone's gonna die
And I'm not gonna lie;
Sometimes that thought is the only thing
That gets me through the day.
I miss my old razor blade;
Scissors don't go deep enough
This red isn't my favorite shade;
I like it purer,
Then I could be surer
That I'm a threat to myself.
I'm trying to cut down,
As apposed to cutting everything else,
But I doubt I'll ever stop
Because every slash,
Every bloody drop,
The whole crimson rash,
I'm still alive
And I am
Such a ContradictionI'm just that fat kidSuch a Contradiction in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Starved of hope.
I'm just that cutter
Reaching for rope.
I'm just that dumb blonde
Reading all night.
I'm just that coward
Bleeding for a fright.
I'm just that child
I'm just that girl
With messy hair.
I'm just that burner
Wanting to be cool.
I'm just that geek
Scared of school.
I'm just that emo
Smiling with glee.
You're just another drone
But you'll never be me.
What You WantMaybe you want them to noticeWhat You Want in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Maybe you want them to see
Maybe you want them to care about
How you’re lost and lonely me.
Maybe you want them to ask
Maybe you want them to know
Maybe you want them to care about
How your happiness is a show.
Maybe you want them to quiet
Maybe you want them to listen
Maybe you want them to care about
How your blood does glisten.
Maybe you want them to leave you
Maybe you want them to die
Maybe you want them to care about
How your life’s just a lie.
ThousandsI'm sixteen,Thousands in Free Verse More Like This
Doubt I'll see thirty
Hopefully my blade'll be dirty
And I'll die.
I don't want to die;
Just want it to stop,
Everything in my head
Telling me I'm better off dead.
I cut myself,
I said it.
Just read it.
I'm just some kid
Behind a screen,
So why should you care?
I'm not just 'some kid';
I'm the ones people laugh at,
I'm not a minority;
I'm a majority.
All those kids alone,
That death will come.
We're not hopeless.
We hope for
My voice?I tried to smile,My voice? in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
laugh through the pain,
but it's been a while,
I think I'm insane.
I can't hear my own voice.
The one that says what I want.
Now I have no choice.
You never did, it taunts.
It tells me what I should say.
It tells me who I am.
It tells me everyday.
Am I the lion or the lamb?
Am I as weak as I feel,
or as strong as I pretend?
Am I cold and hard as steel,
or just waiting for it to end?
Who am I?
Do I really want to know?
I end with a sigh.
The voice is telling me to go.
I Met MeToday I met a girl,I Met Me in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
and she asked, "How are you?"
"Just fine," I replied.
She said, "No, tell me what's true."
Perplexed, I stopped and stared.
She was young, no older than eight.
Her eyes were still innocent.
They knew no hate.
"What did you say?"
I asked in confusion.
"You know what I mean," she said.
This girl was in a delusion.
Trying to be kind,I replied,
"No I do not."
She frowned and replied,
"You lie quite a lot."
Now I was agitated.
What does this girl know?
Acting like she's so intelligent.
I'll just tell her to go.
"Let me explain!"
She exclaimed in haste.
"I know you're not alright.
I know you feel misplaced."
How in the world?
Who is this little girl?
"But I'm here to say you'll be alright.
Though your friends will leave,
leave you feeling alone and cold,
you'll find a reprieve."
"So just stay strong
because I know you can do it."
How? Who are you?
I wished she would quit.
Suddenly it was silent,
and I turned to see,
but there was no one there at al
Memories?How do you stay sane,Memories? in Concrete Poetry More Like This
when the screams echo in your ears?
This is not a game,
these are living fears.
I'm searching for the truth,
but find only confusion.
Was it a secret in my youth,
or just an illusion?
Did he really hit her,
or was it a dream?
It's all such a blur,
and things aren't always as they seem.
Should I ask them?
No, they'd never tell.
Was it enough to condemn?
Will he go to hell?
Did he really do it?
Do I even want to know?
Maybe I should quit,
let the memories go.
Ignorance is bliss,
that I know too well.
The memories, I dismiss.
Send them all to hell.
Pretty Blue PillsPretty blue pills,Pretty Blue Pills in Free Verse More Like This
shiny in my palm,
the ticket to my peace,
to my eternal calm.
They're so perfectly round,
and soon they'll be in me.
The closest to perfect
that I'll ever be.
They go down so smooth.
Five, ten, fifteen and twenty.
Soon I'll be gone.
Twenty-five and Thirty.
That should be enough,
but I'll play it safe.
Thirty-five and forty.
Now I have no more to take.
The bottle is empty,
as empty as I feel.
None of this is happening,
too good to be real.
But soon I start to drift
into a dark unknown fog.
Somewhere quite distantly.
I hear a muffled sob.
But I blow it off as fake.
Nobody could possibly care.
I doubt anyone's noticed
that I'm no longer there.
But then I hear my name,
just a distant call.
I feel myself lift higher.
No! I want to fall!
I ignore the voice in earnest,
but it's calling me up, up, up.
Please let me be.
That life was too tough.
I like this fog,
this numbing haze,
free from the ridicule,
from the judging gaze.
But inevitably I come up,
eyes open so slight.
I have nothing to writeI have nothing to write,I have nothing to write in Free Verse More Like This
nothing to share.
I am lost for inspiration,
and I don't even care.
So what if I don't write?
It's not like it's good.
So what if I don't draw?
It's not like I ever could.
I don't need to create.
It's all pointless in the end.
I thought I loved my pen and brush,
but they're just false friends.
His SideShe said she was leaving.His Side in Free Verse More Like This
What could I do?
She couldn't be helped.
She'd never pull through.
She'd been so dark,
just wasting away.
She tried to fight the tears,
but I saw them everyday.
I wanted her to be happy,
wanted to see her smile.
If only for a moment,
yes, just a little while.
And now she's happy.
That's all I need.
She's out of the dark.
Shes finally been freed.
But now I'm cold.
Now I'm wasting away.
I know I did it right.
I just wish she could've stayed.
God, why'd she have to go?
Each day is filled with dread.
She may be gone,
but I'm the one that's dead.
Won't Give InI'm getting weak,Won't Give In in Concrete Poetry More Like This
can't find the light.
Too tired to try,
Too tired to fight.
I want to give in,
let my grip slip,
start the fall,
let myself trip.
But I can't let go.
I need to stay here.
Despite all the hardships,
despite all my fear.
I'll keep going.
I won't give in.
Though I feel like dying,
though my chances are grim.
So say hello to me,
this act I put on,
till my time comes,
till God says I'm done.
Her SideTomorrow she'll be gone,Her Side in Free Verse More Like This
but what can you say?
Nothing can help her.
The pain won't go away.
But she would've stopped,
you could've said no.
That's what she wanted,
someone to say don't go.
That someone wanted her,
or at least would try.
That someone would grieve
if she were to die.
But you just stared,
nodding your head,
and she realized the truth
with a feeling of dread.
No one wanted her.
No one cared.
Not even you,
with the the love you shared.
So she said good-bye,
and you watched her leave.
She may have had the rope,
but now you can't breathe.
Shiny MetalShiny metal, shine so bright.Shiny Metal in Free Verse More Like This
Make me go to sleep tonight.
Take away the pain and sorrow.
Prevent the coming of tomorrow.
Shiny metal, you cut so deep,
makes me want to fall asleep.
The world fades with each scarlet drip.
Raise the knife and give one more rip.
O shiny metal, how you sting,
but I know the relief the pain will bring.
Each cut is a scream I held in.
Each drop is the releasing of my sin.
Shiny metal, you're my dearest friend,
and now you take me to my end.
Thank you, metal, for setting me free.
Thank you, for the end of me.
DragonflyDragonfly, dragonflyDragonfly in Free Verse More Like This
fly on your way.
live another day.
why are you here?
This place is so dark.
It fills you with fear.
O dragonfly, dragonfly
I fear for your life.
Your flight,once so careless,
is now filled with strife.
Dragonfly, my dragonfly
live on for me.
I know life is hard,
but soon you'll be free.
Dragonfly, poor dragonfly
they try to pull you down,
but your wings need to fly.
I fear you may drown.
Dragonfly, please dragonfly.
They're toxic and mean.
They'll kill you so quickly.
Things aren't as they seem.
Dragonfly, brave dragonfly
you've started your flight.
You're out of the darkness
and headed for the light.
Thank you dear dragonfly.
Now I can be free too.
We're soaring in the light,
and our troubles are few.
Check The MeaningIn barely legible handwritingCheck The Meaning in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Scribbled on to the medicine bottle label
Is my name Grayson Oliver Dowd
And two letters printed in ink of bold sable
In haste I didn't check the meaning
It makes sense now that O.D. stands for Once Daily
But I took it to mean Over Dose
Oh how my rational mind once again fails me
Soon after I see the weathered words
Inscripted deeply on to the granite gravestone
Here lies Grayson Oliver Dowd
With an epiphanic epitaph ‘he died alone’
Waking from my sleep I check the meaning
I realise R.I.P. stands for Rest In Peace
And not Recovery Is Possible
So my dose of dopamine I shall decrease
In barely legible handwriting
Scribbled onto the medicine bottle label
Is my name Grayson Oliver Dowd
And two letters printed in ink of bold sable
My shaking hand struggles with the child lock
Let me flush these pills away and out of sight
Oh Dear reads the letters on the label
It appears that you
Only When I WriteThe drama unfurling in my lifeOnly When I Write in Free Verse More Like This
Feels like the shadow of my hand
That grows as it comes ever closer
To the light perched on my bed stand
In that I can feel the darkest cloud
Ever such a menacing sight
In time I can reverse the feeling
But only when I write
Seclusion left me with nothing
Apart from creativity
Loneliness it turns out, my friends
Is quite the aperitif
For the feast that is awaiting me
If I make it through the night
Tomorrow always brings me new hope
But only when I write
You approach me on a good day
And I will offer you a smile
The same expression on the worst days
Because my manners are so mild
But don’t take me for a toothless fool
When cornered I’ve been known to bite
Fear not, those demons remain at bay
But only when I write
A Dark Artist's HeartNow take me down to my dark and sombre placeA Dark Artist's Heart in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
So I can write woeful words such as this
But don’t leave me there to give life to my thoughts
As I’m cursed with such soft and slender wrists
And hands that are capable of mastering
The medicine bottles infant safe lock
No more than three a day the prescription says
I peel off the label and down the lot
Now take me down to my dark and sombre place
Where skies are as black as a raven’s wing
And with no potential to spread them out wide
With my meek, melancholic offerings
Just a pin prick of light in the sable sky
Like the raven’s eye within its feathers
And as it blinks moments before taking flight
I am cast into darkness forever
Now take me down to my dark and sombre place
Where each word I write feels like burning wax
Slowly dripping over my eyes, nose and lips
Till it sets into a full facial cast
Leading to paralysis of countenance
Or at least indeed the absence of one
The candelabra embellishes my plight
But this w
Bulimia NervosaDoes mother notice my visits to the bathroomBulimia Nervosa in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Have become more frequent of late?
And how they always seem to be after meal times
When with my parents I’ve just ate
Does she stand in the hall outside the bathroom
With her ear pressed against the door?
Wondering why the tap is running so fast
And what I’ve flushed the toilet twice for
Has she seen all of the empty sweet wrappers
Hidden under my bed when she cleans?
Does she fully understand the significance
Of what this behaviour actually means?
Is purge even a word in her vocabulary
To which she’s able to define?
Does she believe my words or my sunken eyes
When I insist to her that I am fine?
Does father notice that I spend many hours
In front of our full length mirror?
Intensely staring at my pathetic reflection
Yet the image never becomes clearer
I see something different to what he can see
A distortion of his little girl
Whose control over this food and this eating
Is the only control she has in this world
Has he tri
That Girl In The MirrorHappiness will remain forever out of reachThat Girl In The Mirror in Free Verse More Like This
When love from your life you omit
To the girl in the mirror; you are beautiful
Yet somehow you never quite fit
Not the girl they thought you’d turn out to be
When you were a neonate child
Born with a raging heart and a raging mind
But with a manner ever so mild
Your scars aren’t always visible to them
And not only hidden under attire
Lacerations to the mind are just as abhorrent
When memories and dreams conspire
So girl break the mirror if you have to
And reflect on your life as a whole
Do you really want to spend the rest of your days
Behind a fašade of self control?
Please be strong enough to go your own way
Indeed go against the grain
In your field of dreams stand up and be counted
And maybe others will do the same
You are unique and you are so beautiful
You’re everything someone else is not
The light of your reflection will shine on
Through the looking glass your childhood begot
Age 16 Page 1Every day of your life up until this pointAge 16 Page 1 in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Has been a prologue to the tale of you
Those mistakes that you have made in your childhood
They may be many or they may be few
But please don’t allow them to shape or to shift
The person that you were born to become
Keep in mind that the night is at its darkest
In the moments before we see the sun
I see pure potential run through your being
In your soul, deep beneath your callow skin
A unique story is waiting to be told
That the world will never see again
And though it begins with ‘once upon a time’
This is not a sugar spun fairytale
Each chapter and verse now lies in your hands
And is waiting for your dreams to prevail
Seek not perfection as mistakes will be made
It is repeating them that is a sin
Learn from others but don’t let their views smother
As hindsight in such a wonderful thing
Fear no one, fear nothing, never hestitate
Don’t let them measure your wisdom by age
Now you’ve gazed upon that cover long
Homosexuality BitesThey found me slumped over in the school showersHomosexuality Bites in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
With a towel loosely wrapped around my waist
Scalding hot water was blistering my skin
As I bled from an unspeakable place
A hard-handed teacher dragged me to my feet
With little or no sign of sympathy
For the bruising to my feeble framed ribcage
And the fractures to my identity
I think they all thought that I had it coming
As no one was willing to testify
That the sodomy inflicted upon me
Was something to which I hadn’t complied
Boisterous boys laughing in the corridors
As I shamefully limped throughout the day
Not a thought for the pain that was inflicted
Just worried for what my parents would say
I couldn’t bear it if I saw in their eyes
That I deserved everything that I got
As they are the ones who created my heart
Whether they care for whom it beats or not
So I will take a discriminate beating
If my resolve will help people to see
That I can not be anything more or less
Than the person that I was born to be
Childhood DepartsHis Little Princess had now departedChildhood Departs in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
She was lay face down in a tranquil pond
The dead water of which was her worries
That he tried so hard to rescue her from
The lead weight of life and her memories
Had dragged her down to new depths and held sway
Bringing her to that body of water
In which her callow body was now lay
His Little Princess had now departed
Her vapid throne vacant for evermore
Father passed her the key of his wisdom
Too afraid was she to open the door
Had she hung on a little while longer
She would have seen there was a better place
That her childhood was just a stepping stone
Towards a life that is far less debased
His Little Princess had now departed
How she wished her Father had been a King
Who would have rescued her from the shadow
That misery casts upon everything
But at some point his crown must have fallen
As he drifted and didn’t see the signs
Her life was like a road in a blizzard
The snow; this remorseful Father’s closed mind
The Right Hand Curse ReversedEverything that my right hand has ever writtenThe Right Hand Curse Reversed in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Comes from the heart and mind of a boy that is cursed
So from now on I’ll learn to write with my left hand
In hope not expectation that this curse will be reversed
And then I shall sit in front of an open fire
Unflinching as each flame licks closer to my face
Not close enough though so it could swallow me whole
But just close enough so that it can have a taste
Of the beads of regret in my perspiration
That are forming and rolling down my furrowed brow
From a wildfire mind that is now out of control
Come thoughts that these damp morals fail to disallow
Everything that my right hand has ever written
Might as well have been scribed in invisible ink
With my thoughts being a vessel on a voyage of hope
And the weight of my memories causing it to sink
Right down to the depths of the deepest ocean floor
And left down there to rot beneath the sea bed
I thank the Lord that they’ll remain out of reach
And that none of the words I’ve
Reality BitesReality bitesReality Bites in Free Verse More Like This
Where as he tore shreds
From the pristine pages
Of the book you once read
A promise of a Prince
And of a fairytale
On those lonely nights
Serving to regale
And offer some solace
In times of despair
When hope felt as distant
As the love you once shared
Your book was unique
Though you try to replace
The words and the images
But you still see his face
Suffocated by life
Each breath hard to find
A broken, tarnished heart
In tumultuous times
But with your pride still intact
Maybe now is the time
That for once you bite back
Just Words"I'm fine" is a dirty lie.Just Words in Free Verse More Like This
The truth is that I want to die.
"I'm tired" is not even done.
It really means "I'm tired of being no one"
"I'm better" is but a curse.
The truth is that I've never been worse
"I'm just cold" is what I say
so my sleeves can hide my scars away.
"I already ate" is said with a frown.
I starve to see the numbers on the scale go down.
"I'm okay" is probably the worst.
It really means I'm about to burst.
All these things are lies to me.
But you take this as the truth because what else would I be?
Tell Me ThisOh, so you're not thin?Tell Me This in Free Verse More Like This
Tell me how you're ugly.
Oh, so your hair doesn't look good everyday?
Tell me whose does.
Oh, so you make mistakes?
Tell me who doesn't.
Oh, so you're not a model?
Tell me what the definition of beauty is.
Oh, so you aren't normal?
Tell me what "normal" is.
Oh, so you aren't good enough?
Tell me why.
Because there isn't a standard you need to reach to be yourself.
You Can't Tell MeYou can't tell meYou Can't Tell Me in Free Verse More Like This
that my writing is wrong.
It might be for you
But for me it will live, forever strong
You can't tell me
that my words are not right.
They might not be prefect
But I'll still put up a fight
You can't tell me
my rhymes are too mix-matched.
Its just because they are not yours
To me they do not lack
You can't tell me
I did not try my best.
Who are you to evaluate?
Its not like its a test
You can't tell me
that I didn't follow a rule.
Creativity has no list
I think you are a fool
You can't tell me
that I didn't emote at all.
How can you tell me what I feel?
Its not like I'm a doll
You cant tell me
everything that I should.
How can you think you know everything?
And think you know whats "good"?
The Irony Of PerfectionOne who does not possess the gem of perfection sees himself but of a shadow of someone that is more, but yet renders clueless the plague he ceases to see upon him, for his imperfections sculpt him into a masterpiece all his own. The irony of perfection is only seen by the one who created himself perfect, his excellence in every lift of his finger and blink of his eye to bore him as he gains no further in what he used to value, in what his passion used to be but his love to vanish surprisingly as he preformed flawlessly to no where. Perfection creates nothing but bordom to build slowly as a sour scab on his soul, realizing he can go nowhere else but infront of a halting stop sign. He sighs as he watches his shadow build himself into more and more each day, longing to become what he was as if the shadow himself while the shadow builds only to become the possessor, unaware that he will soon wish to be his own shadow someday.The Irony Of Perfection in Free Verse More Like This
That one girlShe's that one girl you see with the pencil wovenThat one girl in Free Verse More Like This
between her skinny fingers
She's the one who sits in the corner
instead of the middle of the room
The one who's always last to speak
The one who's words are kept secret to everyone
Always the one who bites
her own tongue
She's the girl who's beautiful
but doesn't think the same way
She's the one who can't be convinced
of the talents she holds
The flare that ignites the lives of the people around her
but she can't feel the heat for herself
She is weighed down by the insecurities she slings
over her shoulders
She's unconvinced of her own style
her own special self
She's the girl who paints
She's the girl who draws
She's the girl who writes
But second guesses every stroke of her brush
to every letter she prints
Shes that one girl whose eyes display a world
all her own
But she sees a somber world
staring back at her
To contain them...Words are but emotion, finally contained.To contain them... in Free Verse More Like This
~My six word story
Crash And BurnI wonder if other people see how I feel.Crash And Burn in Free Verse More Like This
With every glare to meet my eyes,
its another preying glare to slap my face
and another glare that heats my cheeks with nervous fire
I wonder if, day after day,
if people see my fear, if they see how I shake.
When they walk by, I stumble away
because I know they don't want me near them.
I wonder if they pity me
If they see the lonely child inside my glass skin.
Sometimes they give me gentle eyes
because they feel sorry for how lonley I really am inside.
I wonder if they know I don't fit in,
if they try to welcome me but I'm too naive to see.
But everytime I just walk away because-
because everytime I try is another crash and burn.
You have a choice.Life. Full of laughter, full of smiles.You have a choice. in Free Verse More Like This
Full of love and happiness.
Life. Full of tears, full of bruises.
Choose a path. Ashes or rose petals?
Black or blue eyes.
Loud or soft cries.
Cherish the smiles.
Wipe away the tears.
Because life is too short, to be living in fear.
BrokenBroken.Broken in Free Verse More Like This
Broken hearts, broken promises
Broken eyes, broken souls
These are the traits ive come to known
I look in the mirror
and what do i see?
A broken person staring back at me.
ForbiddenI need youForbidden in Free Verse More Like This
But I cant have you
I want you
But youre forbidden
I love you
You love me
Im in love with you
But youre not in love with me too
Days of usSay somethingDays of us in Free Verse More Like This
Cuz im giving up on you
Youre no longer the one i want
not the one I need
Youre no good for me
Even though it hurts
I must leave you
For this is the end
of the days of us
Nothing.You dont know how I feelNothing. in Free Verse More Like This
You dont understand my life
You dont want to know how I feel
You dont want to understand my life
Youre just supposed to KNOW.
Youre just supposed to UNDERSTAND.
That is what is supposed to happen
when you are in love
But you dont get it.
You sit there and tell me Im wrong.
Nothing I say is right.
Nothing I do is right.
Im just nothing.
WhyI guess I deserve itWhy in Free Verse More Like This
I got too attached
I should never have let open
My heart that has a latch
You ignore me now
Like I dont even exist
But something about you is so hard to resist
What did I do wrong?
Oh thats right Im clingy
Im sorry I thought
That wouldnt be so spooky
I dont deserve you I guess
Because I dont deserve much
Except for this hurt
that youre unable to touch
(not) strongShe's so strong(not) strong in Free Verse More Like This
I don't know how she does it
She's been through so much
Yet she keeps standing tall
No I dont know how she gets through it all
She's so strong...
She cries at night
behind closed doors
feeling like shes just been stabbed with a sword
All this is hidden behind a smile
she doesnt wanna seem like she is just a child
She hides it so well
hides it with fake happiness
And just when she thinks she will break free
Her old friend pain comes back to decree
That it will be even more difficult
for her to be happy
she's so strong...
You.Ask for an apology? No i wouldnt dareYou. in Songs & Lyrics More Like This
Cuz even if you did apologize I know itd sound sheer
How dare you say i cant
Theres no way that imma let myself look bent
I wont let muself look weak
When you try and stop my speech
First amendment chick
ever heard of it?
You gave up, so how about you just shut up
I wont make the same mistakes you did
Im not a little kid
I refuse to be like you
always waiting for the other shoe (to drop)
so try and take me down
Im waiting for the sound
But in the end Ill be celebrating
and youll be suffocating
me.A little girl sits on a hard stool at her kitchen counter, just waiting for the knock at the door. She waits for a second, than a minute, than an hour. Then two hours have gone by, and there still has not been a hollow wooden knock at the door. I sat as this little girl, year after year for four years, waiting for daddy to come pick me up. Then one day, he just stopped coming. It took a while for the absolute agony to take its full effect on me, but once it did I vowed that he was no longer my father. I started to hate him and chose to love the real father figure in my life, who was my stepfather.me. in Emotional More Like This
Eight years later, that stepfather is gone. He had a new daughter, a new fiancé and an entirely new life. Once again I found myself as that little girl who I had thought I had left behind. That little girl inside me was hurt and she cried out all her tears for seconds that turned to minutes, minutes that turned to hours and then hours that turned to days. I sat and I thought about this
Remember when I Died?Remember when I died? No, probably not. As you stood there laughing in my face, pushing and shoving me, telling me everything that was wrong with me... I fell. I fell hard. I've fallen before, but when I fall that hard...Remember when I Died? in Emotional More Like This
And I wasn't me anymore.
Breaking down and crying, your laughter increased, and you called upon others to join you. It's fun to see someone cry, fun to see their world being torn apart, fun to have nothing more to live fo--
Where did that knife come from? Was I carrying it around with me? Did you have it? Who knows... I don't remember. But it's on you. My blood is on your hands.
But you're happy now. You're happy I'm gone. You're all happy I'm gone. I'm just sad I didn't get a chance to write my suicide letter. Hmm, you'd probably laugh at that too. Cause I'm so funny. Cause my pain is so funny. Cause my death is so funny.
What about my friend? Are they sad I'm gone? Course not. No one can be trusted. Everyone will betray their most loyal friends. People I barely know
My Last RideI've looked forward to this day since the ride opened. I've always loved roller coasters, but I'm afraid of heights, so I never went on the ones with loops. I slowly started riding bigger coasters and... well, when this opened, I knew it was time.My Last Ride in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
It's the biggest roller coaster in the world, and this is the only park it's been built at. I had to travel from the United States to the United Kingdom, and it took all my life savings, but... I won't be needing that money anymore. I told myself I'd ride this coaster without second thought, no matter what the cost.
It's not for everybody. In fact, many are horrified by it. Hell, when I saw the scale model of it, my heart leapt into my throat and was struck by excitement and fear. I never thought it'd be built in my lifetime... it's time to face many things; my fear of heights, my fear of loops, and most of all... it's time to face death.
The Euthanasia Coaster begins with a 1600 top, and the ride up is extremely steep. It's so steep, you'd f
Fake SmileGreeted by her vibrant cheer,Fake Smile in Free Verse More Like This
The happy girl that's always here
Has a very grim secret, I fear;
Her friendly smile is fake.
She has a heart that's big in size,
But her smile does not reach her eyes.
She tries to fool us with her lies,
Because her warm smile is fake.
It's become a daily task
To hide behind a grinning mask.
Oh my dear, I have to ask,
Why is your smile fake?
She's a girl that's pure of heart,
And she's been like that from the very start,
But her mind and soul have been torn apart,
Making her loving smile fake.
My little dear, I see the truth;
Countless others have tarnished your youth.
You're broken, my dear, and here's the proof:
Your pretty smile is fake.
Everyday she's in pain, you see,
But she tries her best to pass off glee...
I'm ashamed to say, that girl is me,
And my cheerful smile is fake.
UtopiaI could be executed for writing this. Hell, they'd probably throw me in prison just for catching me with a pen and paper. But I have to get this down... I know it's only a matter of time before they realize that I'm a free thinker... and then they'll make sure I never existed.Utopia in Philosophical More Like This
Ten years ago, the entire world changed. They had been building up to this point, and they were incredibly successful. I saw it comiand I tried my best to tell people that this isn't how we want to live. We don't want to be controlled... but they were already brainwashed.
The government showed their true colors. Libraries and theatres were torn down, artwork and historical artifacts were burned to ashes, and the world's most renowned musicians were gunned down like animals. Oh yea... the animals... you'd be lucky to even find a picture of one, let alone a real one.
Anyone caught with any sort of art, music, unorthodox clothing, stuffed animals, books, religious practice... anything that made someone individual...
Just a Fashion?Emo. We've heard this term for years. I don't exactly remember when it actually started, but I didn't personally hear of it until my sophomore year. All we had was punk and gothic, but now gothic and emo are completely confused with each other. And now I'm ashamed whenever people accuse ME of being emo because they don't know the difference. Not even Southpark knows the difference.Just a Fashion? in Emotional More Like This
The problem is, emo is associated with "emotion," but a depressed emotion at that. When people think of emo, they think swoopy haircut colored black, black clothing with occasional stripes, plaid, checkers, etc., hate for the sunlight, hating EVERYTHING, and writing depressing poems... oh, and cutting yourself! This is the problem...
There are people who do all these things that are not emo. I knew a very popular girl in 8th grade, Courtnie (yes, with an i), and she confided in me that she cut herself too, showing me her marks. Mind you, this was your stereotypical preppy ditz that was pretty much better tha
Wake Me UpThey say that every creatureWake Me Up in Free Verse More Like This
On earth dies alone.
But if that's true, why would we
Want to live our life alone?
If we're alone during life,
Should we be alone during death?
Life is nothing but a dream,
A dream in which we can't wake up.
We're alone while we dream,
It is only us in our own mind.
That soft sleep is only important
To the sleeper.
Whether it's a good dream or nightmare,
We are alone within our minds.
But what we don't realize is
That life is the dream,
And we can't wake up.
We've seen what we dream,
But that's the real world, elusive.
We've caught a glimpse, and it has
Opened our eyes to our true lives.
Wake me from this dream,
For it is a nightmare.
Wake me up.
Lead me to life, so that I
May die someday, not alone.
Wake me up.
I'm a heavy sleeper, therefore,
You will have to awaken me from this dream.
Waking from a nightmare brings
Such sweet satisfaction.
Wake me up,
For life is nothing but a dream.
Wake me up.
The Suicide PhotographerI am a photographer.The Suicide Photographer in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
People hate my work. You may ask why, but when you see my shots, you'll understand. My work is very controversial. I am sadly proud of my photos, for I may be the only one who's adopted this style.
I capture photos of suicide.
No matter where I go, I carry my camera with me, ready to shoot anything that may happen. There's surprisingly a lot of suicides in this city and the next city over. I've gotten beautiful shots.
The most common ones are those of people jumping from buildings. Of course, there's usually a crowd of people pleading for the person to come down, so I know right away what I am about to get. I stand to get a good perspective, hold up my camera, and snap the photo right as the person plunges to their demise. I take a couple one after the other so I make sure to get the perfect shot. People surrounding me shout at me and call me heartless.
On the contrary, I am more caring than them. That person wanted to end their life, so they had a perfect reason t
A Best FriendA good friend will be there for you when you cry.A Best Friend in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
A best friend will be there crying with you.
A good friend will keep your secret if you murder someone.
A best friend will have been your accomplice.
A good friend will let you commit suicide.
A best friend will be holding your hand as they jump in front of a train with you.
A good friend will mourn for you if you die before them.
A best friend will follow you.
A good friend will be at your execution to say goodbye.
A best friend will be in a second electric chair right next to you.
A good friend will say it's not a good idea to throw that explosive into the powerplant that's destroying natural habitat.
A best friend will count down to three, giving you the signal to throw it.
A good friend will ignore the fact that you kidnapped someone to torture.
A best friend will provide the chloroform.
A good friend will yell at your ex for breaking up with you.
A best friend will murder them
Jacky's LetterTo the parents and family of Madeline,Jacky's Letter in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
My name is Jacky Stiles, and as you have probably guessed, I've killed Maddy. The reason I'm writing this, however, is because I want you to know the truth of what happened that day.
As you know, Maddy was a very happy, carefree girl. In the hours I spent with her, I learned that very quickly. She was friendly, funny, and overall just a great girl. She was just a little scared of me, but otherwise, she spoke to me as if we were just having a normal conversation.
Even after I hurt her the first couple of times, it didn't seem to bother her. I'll admit it frustrated and angered me, and I also found it a little intimidating. She smiled and was so carefree and honest. She never once cried from fear.
But I'm not writing this to tell you what I did to her, I'm writing this because she'd want you to know. She died happy. When I asked her why she was so carefree and unafraid, she said it was because nothing could be done. She knew she couldn't get away, a
ContemplationSilence...Contemplation in Free Verse More Like This
I lay in my bed,
Why am I here?
What is my purpose?
Tears run down my face,
And I close my eyes,
Letting moonlight wash over me.
Fate is a cruel thing,
Destiny is elusive.
Existance is nothing more
Than a lie.
The world is ego,
I open my teary eyes, gazing up
At the vast, starry sky.
They look so free...
Balls of fire,
Giant chunks of ice,
Planets more significant
Than our own...
What is up there?
What is out in that void?
The cold air stings my
Tear streaked face...
I sit up, still staring at
The beautiful night sky.
In my bed, I can't help
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ROOF????
ThinkYou say I`m cold.Think in Free Verse More Like This
You say I don`t want to be friends.
You say I keep to the shadows.
You say I don`t like people.
You say I`m weird.
I`m not cold, I`m shards of a person.
I`d love to be friends, but I`m scared.
I keep to the shadows to stay out of sight.
I like people but I can`t trust them.
Would you be warm if you`d been broken?
Would you be friendly if stabbed in the back?
Would you walk in light if darkness surrounded you?
Would you like people who made you want to die?
Would you be different?
Before you judge, make an effort to see.
Surfaces have depths, people have sadness beneath.
InsomniaCan`t sleep.Insomnia in Free Verse More Like This
Toss and turn.
4:00 in the night.
Should be in a dream.
Not as it seems.
Surf the Web.
I`m going insane.
In the morning.
Need to sleep
Can`t shut down.
Can`t turn off.
This is me.
So kindly fuck off.
.when her love left, it left. in Free Verse More Like This
the house empty
and she says
i hope one day it'll
come back to me,
cos i don't keep this shotgun
on my front porch for nothin'
.lies can slip. in Personal More Like This
through your teeth
gets caught in
(i wish it was a lie, that i'm your flesh and blood and i wish it was the truth, that i hadn't been drinking)
fracturesbindweed lungs spill throughfractures in Free Verse More Like This
my oak branch ribs,
up my throat and
around my thorny tongue
make their way down to
cross my clavicles,
elbows and cracked milky
they hold me tighter than you ever did
.death says he's a busy man. in Free Verse More Like This
got places to go and
people to see
book an appointment on the way out
.and goddess,. in Personal More Like This
this isn't something i can
sweat or starve out of me,
i'll have to write and it will
see i've often thought about
placing my head in the pestle
and mortar, i wonder if i could
grind out the hell inside, become
a red pulp on the worktop, and
even the oven keeps tutting at me,
it's so easy, just open the door
stick your hand in, feel his forked
tongue on your palm,
orange lover, you
and it's true
that the dead are never really
silent, they grunt and they groan
in their damp soil sheets,
toss and turn over
(fill the bath with water, and just drop me in it)
.i keep a garden of. in Free Verse More Like This
dead leaves, their amber
ribs crack under my
feet, and i smile
the flowers turn their
backs on me
.don't come to me at 2am. in Free Verse More Like This
when your heart starts to split
its nuts and bolts
and your eyes are threatening to
burst their banks
i will be too busy trying to
solder my own
laying down sandbags and praying
the tide comes no higher
astronomer's insomniapour in milky wayastronomer's insomnia in Haiku & Eastern More Like This
stir until planets dissolve
turn, avoid the sun
.he said there are a lot of things in life. in Personal More Like This
that don't make sense,
i said i know,
like that time i laughed so hard at the wake
i had to stay out in the garden making small talk with the smokers
for the rest of it,
like the time i shut myself in the garage and went to sleep
in the backseat of your car,
and how i'm not at all religious but i sat in church that day with
my hands clasped and
how i kept the windows shut that sunday so what i prayed for
couldn't get in,
like the time i watched her throw your stuff out on the driveway,
and when she managed to smash those plates even with
her broken wrist, how most hearts start to sink when tempers rise,
and the time i wanted to cradle that dead pigeon i saw at the
train station, and you told me to answer the phone and i wouldn't
because i knew it was you,
and when the night comes calling i always let him in,
i'm never quite sure who he is, but he says
he's paid for it so now i better fucking
he says haven't you learnt by now