AsylumWho are you?
Where are you?
What... are you?
The blinding white walls
Closing in on you
Who are you?
Certainly not that
happy little girl
jumping through fairy tales
as a sunset paints the silver sky.
Where are you?
Definitely not where
you'd want to be.
What are you?
Blood, scars, wounds.
All you see are shadows
In a room of white walls...
The Face At The DoorThe face at the door is a demon, a godThe Face At The Door in Free Verse More Like This
He smiles through stitches, his stare rather odd
The face at the door is a cruel, silent being
Yet, people are calm, and the children aren't fleeing
Quiet yourself, for you're the only one
Crying for help at the point of a gun
Learn how to fly, rather, learn how to fall,
The face at the door... well... there's no face at all.
Words on the WallThe sun melted into the glamorous skyWords on the Wall in Free Verse More Like This
The moon stood there, hidden by sweet lullabies.
But mommy was crying, her day had been hard
The tears in her eyes twinkled just like the stars.
Her face wasn't happy like it should have been
And though she was saddened, she forcefully grinned.
I wanted to see Mommy smile through it all...
I painted a picture on her bedroom walls.
I told her to look, just to come in and see
But Mommy was angry... she wasn't happy.
She threw me down hard on the cold wooden floor
Then picked me up, slamming my head on the door.
She yelled and she screamed, then she hit me once more
She slapped me till I couldn't see anymore.
My heart then stopped beating, my laugh went unheard
Then Mommy got up without saying a word.
She looked at the walls splattered with my young blood
Then fell to the ground in her tears with a thud.
She looked at my face, then she looked all around
Then wrote on the walls with the first thing she found.
Then, after she finished, she wanted self h
I Love You, DaddyDaddy, please don't touch me.I Love You, Daddy in Free Verse More Like This
It doesn't feel good.
It makes me feel..
Daddy, please don't hit me.
I didn't mean to disappoint you.
When you hit me, it makes me feel...
Daddy, please don't hurt her.
Mommy didn't do anything.
When you hit her, it makes me feel..
Daddy, please don't say you love me.
I know you're lying.
When you say you still want me, it makes me feel...
Daddy, please stop screaming at her.
You already killed her.
When you scream at her, it makes me feel..
Daddy, stay there.
Let me sink the knife into your throat.
When you bleed, it makes me feel..
Daddy, aren't you happy now?
As you lie there, lifeless.
I'm only following your footsteps.
This makes me feel...
Daddy, please listen.
I know you can't hear me, but...
I still love you.
The same way you always loved me.
And it makes me feel...
It makes me feel..
SchizophreniaShh.Schizophrenia in Free Verse More Like This
Look behind you.
"Are you okay?"
Shapes, forms, bodies, animals, plants
Shifting, moving, being
"What's wrong with you?"
You're a freak.
No one wants you.
You should kill yourself, let them out of their misery
Or we'll do the job for you.
"They're fake, you know."
No they're not.
"What are you doing?"
This is how I live.
Save me, from the monsters, the shadows
"What can I do?"
You can stop.
You can stop being ignorant
What Happened?I used to think make upWhat Happened? in Free Verse More Like This
Made people ugly.
Now I think I'm ugly without it.
I used to think people
Always loved me.
Now I think everyone hates me.
I used to think everybody
Was my best friend.
Now I think no one truly is.
I used to think
Boys were icky!
Now I wish I had one.
What happened to being
No Longer a Little GirlDear imagination, can't you be the thing you wereNo Longer a Little Girl in Free Verse More Like This
Butterflies and daffodils and happiness so pure
Sunny skies and lullabies and dreams of what could be
Hidden worlds and wonderlands of things they couldn't see
Shining gowns and silver crowns for dancing with the prince
Twirling with excitement, though the others weren't convinced
Dear intimidation, did you find it to be true
All I ever needed was an overdose of you
Silly stares and laughter slowly flood a child's mind
Making me abandon every daydream I could find
Lost beneath the shadows of the sky so dark and dead
Far too weak to turn around, yet scared of things ahead
Dear destructive tendencies, I feel it's time to hear
You were all I had when nothing else seemed to be near
Everything so out of reach, too far for me to see
I decided I would choose the needle next to me
Slicing through my very skin to feel something once more
Weeping through the satisfaction I could not ignore
Dear imagination, can't you be the thing you were?
Good Enough... for YOU.As I sit here cradling the blade in my handsGood Enough... for YOU. in Free Verse More Like This
Treasuring the moments I wish that I had
I can't stop growing more lost and confused
I can't stop thinking... am I good enough for you?
As I sit here, wrapping the rope around my neck
No one will understand a meaning so complex
I simply can't stop thinking about it somehow
Thinking, am I good enough for you now?
As I sit here, pulling the trigger on the gun
I think, maybe I was never meant for "the one"...
goes the bullet.
For when I think it through...
I really won't ever be good enough for you.
I am a labelI slid the blade across my wristI am a label in Free Verse More Like This
Again and again.
Maybe I’m an emotional freak.
I cause fights and arguments
Maybe I’m a troublemaker.
I use make up to make myself seem
Maybe I’m girly.
I complain about things
Even when sometimes
Maybe I’m an attention seeker.
I fall under so many
So maybe I am a label.
I’m just me.
Sick of societyI may live inside my own, twisted universeSick of society in Free Verse More Like This
I may change, sometimes for the worst.
What's normal to me is not normal for you.
Sometimes I just do what I need to do.
Behind a brick wall, I hoped someone would break it
I threw out my heart hoping someone would take it.
But I got tired of hiding and tired of hating
And instead of throwing myself at every guy, I'm waiting.
I'm sick of the person I tried to be
So basically, here I am, I will be me
I'm sick of the hatred, would you not agree?
.. Basically I'm sick of society.
When I SaidWhen I said I wanted a fairy taleWhen I Said in Free Verse More Like This
I meant I wanted a prince.
I didn't want to be locked in a
I didn't want to be fought by a
I didn't want
When I said I wanted a fairy tale
I meant I wanted to be a princess.
I didn't want to watch a rose
I didn't want to wear the gown
I wanted it
When I said I wanted a fairy tale...
I expected it to end in a
But i never expected it to end like this.
Hope (I Won't)I won't let a razor bladeHope (I Won't) in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Take away this life I've made.
I won't let the shame and guilt
Ruin everything I've built.
I won't let being wrong
Stop me from being strong.
I won't let sorrow and pain
Resurrect the demons that I've slain.
I won't let ugly spite
Tell me that I'm not right.
I won't let the dark past
Make my endless hurt last.
I won't let this noose
Leave me hanging loose.
I won't let the world win;
My life is only just about to begin.
Red ScreamsSmiling at me, shiny silver teethRed Screams in Free Verse More Like This
Begging my wrist
For one chaste
Grinning at me, that evil smirk
Making my heart pound
So sharp so
I know I
And really I
Arm’s too full of blood
From attempts to
Join the stars.
Photo album of
My diary of my
I am still
Cross My WristsCross my wrists and hope to die,Cross My Wrists in Free Verse More Like This
I will only ever lie
When you ask me if I’m fine
Or if I like this life of mine.
If I had a gun,
I’d put it to my head
And turn bouncy blonde,
Into ruby red.
You want me to stop cutting;
I’ll stop when I’m dead.
The last time I’ll cut
Will be the last thing I see
When I finally put an end to me.
Dying sounds good right now,
Just fading into black
And never coming back
To the agony living brings.
Perhaps you’ll find me hanging,
Or after OD’ing;
Someday soon you’ll find me,
It’s too late now,
I’m too far gone.
Now I’m just a ghost
Of who could’ve been someone.
Chained and ShamedNobody gets it.Chained and Shamed in Free Verse More Like This
I don’t want saving,
I don’t want ”friends”;
I just want all ends
To be met in red.
I hate how plain my skin is,
How it should be painted;
I’m the addiction’s harlot,
I do as it must dictate
And when it tells me to seal my bloody fate;
I bloody well will.
I’m too full of blood,
I need to let some out.
But know this isn’t a shout
This is me coping
With how I’m hoping
Nobody’ll care when I go.
Cutting isn’t for attention;
It’s for a brief suspension
Of everything else.
It is mine and I’m its,
It doing as I want
And I its slave
Until there’s nothing left to save.
I don’t fear death
Half as much as I do breath.
Because I’d be lying
If I said dying
Wasn’t on my list of things to do today.
Such a ContradictionI'm just that fat kidSuch a Contradiction in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Starved of hope.
I'm just that cutter
Reaching for rope.
I'm just that dumb blonde
Reading all night.
I'm just that coward
Bleeding for a fright.
I'm just that child
I'm just that girl
With messy hair.
I'm just that burner
Wanting to be cool.
I'm just that geek
Scared of school.
I'm just that emo
Smiling with glee.
You're just another drone
But you'll never be me.
TodayI saw something in the mirror today that kinda creeped me out.Today in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
It was a girl wearing a smile, not a frown nor a pout.
Her eyes were wide and shining, just as a summer sun.
Her laugh wasn't wooden and fake, but true and full of fun.
Her irises reflected happiness, not a trace of pain.
She was under perfect skies; not a drop of rain.
Angels swam around her, keeping the devil at bay.
Her life was precious and she wasn't throwing it away.
Her lips were red and shinging with a pure smile.
It was a sight her mirror hadn't seen in a very long while.
She wasn't at all pretty but a care she did not give.
Because today she woke up and said, "Today I am going to live."
ThousandsI'm sixteen,Thousands in Free Verse More Like This
Doubt I'll see thirty
Hopefully my blade'll be dirty
And I'll die.
I don't want to die;
Just want it to stop,
Everything in my head
Telling me I'm better off dead.
I cut myself,
I said it.
Just read it.
I'm just some kid
Behind a screen,
So why should you care?
I'm not just 'some kid';
I'm the ones people laugh at,
I'm not a minority;
I'm a majority.
All those kids alone,
That death will come.
We're not hopeless.
We hope for
Things I'll Never SayThere are certain things I’ll never say,Things I'll Never Say in Free Verse More Like This
Like how I thought about killing myself today
Just to keep my own scary thoughts away.
Like how I stay awake way too late
To be sure I don’t awake in a bloody state.
Like how I soaked white into red last night
And turned myself into a ghastly sight.
Like how it hurts too much to breathe
When I make my own skin seethe.
Like how I Google things I shouldn’t
When I want to do things I couldn’t.
Like how I’m scared of being alone
Yet I’m only happy when I’m on my own.
Like how I know I’ll wind up killing myself
And turn into just a dusty photo on a dusty shelf.
Like how I make myself bleed every day
Even though I know I can’t go on this way.
Like how I maybe want someone to see
And for them to somehow help me.
But nobody will ever help me,
Because those are all the things I’ll never say.
Carry OnI like sharp things;Carry On in Free Verse More Like This
The way they shine
The way they hurt
The way they leave a red line.
I like to bleed;
The way it's red
They way it hurts
The way it washes out what they said.
I like to live;
The way it's wrong
The way it hurts
The way it tells me that I am strong.
You Are the SpiderI can see you, so tiny and seemingly insignificant to the rest of the world. Everything about you screams at me to destroy, to rip your soul away from your worthless body like meat from a bone, to kick you out of this life without any shade of guilt or mercy.You Are the Spider in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
It wouldn't be murder, it would just be natural order; I am bigger, stronger, more in control, so it only makes sense for me to prove that to the world with your death. Not to mention the fact that you are gross, wrong. Like a crow flying among doves. That's what you are; a withered, ugly thing of darkness in a world gasping for more light, for more beauty. So your death really would make sense.
Even in death though, you'd be a nuisance. I'd have your remains on my hands, a dirty smear on my flawless skin to remind that you once existed and that I, of all people, had to take the time out of my day to wash away your darkness.
I'd have to get dirty to cleanse you, to cleanse me; to cleanse the world of you.
Some of the others say th
Look around!Look around.Look around! in Free Verse More Like This
Who are you?
Where are you?
What are you?
The walls are white
There is no sound
Merely breathing -
White as milk
Glow like stars
There! In the Corner!
Who are you? A faceless person...
Where are you? A cell for the mind...
What are you? The beast that they fear...
In the corner of your eye.
There's nothing there.
But..There, in the corner.
The white looks red.
Tendrils of red, creep up your walls.
The heavenly white bleeds out
Like a ravens wing, over a battlefield
Look around - You can't deny what you see
White runs red,
And security dies.
Who are you? A monster.
Where are you? Hell.
What are you? Insanity.
Fills desolate halls.
An empty room
Is all they find.
A girl wearing white
Arms, strapped to her chest.
Cries on the floor.
"The walls! They're bleeding!
LiarHere I am.Liar in Free Verse More Like This
Isn't this what you wanted?
You wanted the 'real' me.
So you get this.
No makeup, no mask -
Just real life me,
And all my problems.
You said you'd always love me,
No matter what...
Why do you scream?
Do I scare you?
You said I was beautiful without any make-up...
But, now, hate me when I tear down my mask.
Do these crazy eyes
And this wide smile
You love me....?
You don't love me.
You hate me, don't you?
Otherwise here, amounts all the beauty I've made for you,
you'd be holding me,
I painted the walls red for you -
Your favorite color.
I bled away all your fears,
This man, he hurt you, didn't he?
Pressed a knife to your arm
And stole all your money?
Well, I took care of him for you
Here's his head, as proof.
...Why are you screaming?
I only want to love you.
...You hate me?
I thought you loved me.
My smileMy smile was once so easy,My smile in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
a thing of joy and pride,
but over these years of darkness,
the ease has slowly died.
I find it's no longer truth,
but simply a lying mask.
It hides away the misery,
the hauntings of my past.
I refuse to look at pictures.
I see what others ignore.
The uneasiness of my smile.
How it has turned into a chore.
Will I ever truly smile,
with joy, pride, and truth,
or will I never know a smile?
Will it die with the rest of my youth?
Please, i wish to laugh,
to smile without a care,
but I'm not good enough for this,
and I guess that is fair.
Memories?How do you stay sane,Memories? in Concrete Poetry More Like This
when the screams echo in your ears?
This is not a game,
these are living fears.
I'm searching for the truth,
but find only confusion.
Was it a secret in my youth,
or just an illusion?
Did he really hit her,
or was it a dream?
It's all such a blur,
and things aren't always as they seem.
Should I ask them?
No, they'd never tell.
Was it enough to condemn?
Will he go to hell?
Did he really do it?
Do I even want to know?
Maybe I should quit,
let the memories go.
Ignorance is bliss,
that I know too well.
The memories, I dismiss.
Send them all to hell.
My voice?I tried to smile,My voice? in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
laugh through the pain,
but it's been a while,
I think I'm insane.
I can't hear my own voice.
The one that says what I want.
Now I have no choice.
You never did, it taunts.
It tells me what I should say.
It tells me who I am.
It tells me everyday.
Am I the lion or the lamb?
Am I as weak as I feel,
or as strong as I pretend?
Am I cold and hard as steel,
or just waiting for it to end?
Who am I?
Do I really want to know?
I end with a sigh.
The voice is telling me to go.
FallingThis feeling in my chest,Falling in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Like I'm about to burst,
And I cannot find the words
To correctly describe this curse.
I want to scream till I'm hoarse,
Smack my hands against the wall,
As I struggle to express
My emotional f
That's what it is,Falling.
Down my sanity goes.
I have to find a grip
Before this free fall comes to a close.
But I cannot find my voice.
The whispers tickle at my ears.
Is it finally going to end,
After all of these years?
Find a grip.
Can't, this is the end.
Wish i could find the strength
To say good bye to my friend.
And a love that I'll miss.
One I was grateful for.
I love you please know that.
I wish I could've loved you more.
But my time has come,
And I'm happy to go.
Don't cry for me, please.
This is the peace I've wanted to know.
I Met MeToday I met a girl,I Met Me in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
and she asked, "How are you?"
"Just fine," I replied.
She said, "No, tell me what's true."
Perplexed, I stopped and stared.
She was young, no older than eight.
Her eyes were still innocent.
They knew no hate.
"What did you say?"
I asked in confusion.
"You know what I mean," she said.
This girl was in a delusion.
Trying to be kind,I replied,
"No I do not."
She frowned and replied,
"You lie quite a lot."
Now I was agitated.
What does this girl know?
Acting like she's so intelligent.
I'll just tell her to go.
"Let me explain!"
She exclaimed in haste.
"I know you're not alright.
I know you feel misplaced."
How in the world?
Who is this little girl?
"But I'm here to say you'll be alright.
Though your friends will leave,
leave you feeling alone and cold,
you'll find a reprieve."
"So just stay strong
because I know you can do it."
How? Who are you?
I wished she would quit.
Suddenly it was silent,
and I turned to see,
but there was no one there at al
Won't Give InI'm getting weak,Won't Give In in Concrete Poetry More Like This
can't find the light.
Too tired to try,
Too tired to fight.
I want to give in,
let my grip slip,
start the fall,
let myself trip.
But I can't let go.
I need to stay here.
Despite all the hardships,
despite all my fear.
I'll keep going.
I won't give in.
Though I feel like dying,
though my chances are grim.
So say hello to me,
this act I put on,
till my time comes,
till God says I'm done.
You didn't dare.She smiled,You didn't dare. in Concrete Poetry More Like This
but it was fake.
but she's about to break.
She reached out,
but no one came,
tried to fake it,
but the pain stayed the same.
This girl, she called to you,
but you didn't care.
Something told you to help,
but you didn't dare.
What would the others say?
The ones who called her a freak.
They may taunt or shun you,
so you choose not to speak.
Then she decides to leave.
Because no one wants her here.
You'll never see her cry.
She'll never shed another tear.
I Say No?How many times can you lose it all,I Say No? in Free Verse More Like This
before you never get it back?
How many times can you fall,
till you land with a crack?
I get so close to the end.
So close to letting it go.
But something always seems to mend,
always tells me no.
I want to die,
but I need to go on.
I begin to cry.
I just want this to be done.
So don't keep me here.
It's time to go,
But now I begin to fear,
it's me that says no.
Not Good EnoughNot good enough for me,Not Good Enough in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
not good enough for you,
maybe all the insults
are simply what's true.
What can I say?
Nothing, I'm done,
so sick and tired
of having to run.
So this is the end,
the last puzzle piece,
the very last straw,
the pain will soon cease.
I won't have to struggle.
There will be no pain,
and everyone's lives
will go on quite the same.
Because I am just me.
The greatest disappointment of all.
So say good-bye,
as I start my free fall.
My Immortal FriendWhere are you,My Immortal Friend in Free Verse More Like This
my sweetest friend?
When did our friendship
come to an end?
I don't remember much,
but I know you're there.
I can feel your presence,
heavy in the air.
My immortal soul,
you should be gone.
Your heart stopped beating.
Your time is done.
And yet you stay,
unseen but not unknown.
Do you still recognize me?
I know I've grown.
Were you always here,
or did you just come back?
Why can't I see you?
Is there something I lack?
He sees you though.
I know it's true.
His innocent eyes
always pointed towards you.
Are you his friend now?
What happened to me?
Did we have a fight?
Just let me see.
I don't understand.
What went wrong?
Were you tired of talking?
Tired of the song?
Or did you do something
to hurt or to scare?
No, I don't think...
no, you wouldn't dare.
So, please come back.
My immortal friend,
or please be happy,
find your end.
Just Words"I'm fine" is a dirty lie.Just Words in Free Verse More Like This
The truth is that I want to die.
"I'm tired" is not even done.
It really means "I'm tired of being no one"
"I'm better" is but a curse.
The truth is that I've never been worse
"I'm just cold" is what I say
so my sleeves can hide my scars away.
"I already ate" is said with a frown.
I starve to see the numbers on the scale go down.
"I'm okay" is probably the worst.
It really means I'm about to burst.
All these things are lies to me.
But you take this as the truth because what else would I be?
Tell Me ThisOh, so you're not thin?Tell Me This in Free Verse More Like This
Tell me how you're ugly.
Oh, so your hair doesn't look good everyday?
Tell me whose does.
Oh, so you make mistakes?
Tell me who doesn't.
Oh, so you're not a model?
Tell me what the definition of beauty is.
Oh, so you aren't normal?
Tell me what "normal" is.
Oh, so you aren't good enough?
Tell me why.
Because there isn't a standard you need to reach to be yourself.
To contain them...Words are but emotion, finally contained.To contain them... in Free Verse More Like This
~My six word story
Between the stallsAmung the sinks and filthy tilesBetween the stalls in Free Verse More Like This
I stay between two dirty walls
I really just need to be here alone
No where but here amung the bathroom stalls.
As I sit upon the toilet lid
I can see the water between my knees
I glare into this toilet bowl
And all I find is a circular sea.
I watch as they drip again and again
The tears come streaming down my cheek
They fall into the bowl directly below
And vanish into the water so bleak.
This is the place I come to hide
This is the place I always go
Where theres a place I can be myself
And not my emotions' puppet show.
I hear the tap of my shoes echo the room
But its shushed asleep by the sound of the flush
This way I can drown my emotions dead
To finally get them to shut up and hush.
I use my sleeves to wipe my eyes
And walk out from between these walls
I walk with nothing but a smile to show
Like nothing happened, even at all
Everybody...We all fly off the rails, but live to tell the taleEverybody... in Free Verse More Like This
Everybody misses a nail.
Dreams break like broken glass, but old dreams never last
Everybody takes off their cast.
We all decide too late, but thats just part of fate
Everybodys built on hate.
We all pretend to keep, all our flaws and lies asleep. But
Everybody cries and weeps.
You Can't Tell MeYou can't tell meYou Can't Tell Me in Free Verse More Like This
that my writing is wrong.
It might be for you
But for me it will live, forever strong
You can't tell me
that my words are not right.
They might not be prefect
But I'll still put up a fight
You can't tell me
my rhymes are too mix-matched.
Its just because they are not yours
To me they do not lack
You can't tell me
I did not try my best.
Who are you to evaluate?
Its not like its a test
You can't tell me
that I didn't follow a rule.
Creativity has no list
I think you are a fool
You can't tell me
that I didn't emote at all.
How can you tell me what I feel?
Its not like I'm a doll
You cant tell me
everything that I should.
How can you think you know everything?
And think you know whats "good"?
I'm talking myself in circles,I screamed,I'm talking myself in circles, in Free Verse More Like This
"There is nothing
wrong with me, not a damn
I wanted to believe
the big dipper on my arm
meant something more
than sun marks & kisses.
But, how can I trust words
that slip through my teeth
as easy as breathing
when this star
has only ever learned
how to f
NaPoWriMo: Day 10 Have you ever been so cold, Sweetheart,NaPoWriMo: Day 10 in Free Verse More Like This
your knees q u a k e d like that Jenga piece
that buckled just before your whole foundation
& no matter
how many times
I've restarted your heart,
one would think
I'd grow tired,
I'm still writing you in poetry
(in the most inappropriate of places.)
You forced yourself beneath my blades
& my fingertips,
Licking unstable knees,
you were death on my tongue:
angry apricot eyes, unforgivable sin
scaring my limbs &
haunting my dreams.
& I'd still try to save your fucking life.
Writer ScarsI have told my secretsWriter Scars in Free Verse More Like This
through loves ink -
painted them to my skin
with watercolor defiance.
& writers, we sometimes
write about our scars
in riddles, layers upon
layers of thought, -
care for them
on the warlands
of our bodies.
we give them faces,
we give them names,
we give them gravestones.
We kill them off
in our stories,
make them villains,
make them heroes.
I have wrists that roar,
& I will be damned
if I don’t let them
tell their stories.
You do not whore around,You spend your nightsYou do not whore around, in Free Verse More Like This
for Apollo’s robes.
You’re as hot
as New Orleans
in mid-July, and
as her gumbo.
But, he is light-years
away and your fingers
ache with tired
a disaster in
Even if it fucking hurts,
you can still taste
his heat on your tongue.
Gods be damned,
you’re a butterfly-
( even if mounted
to a bed. )
you will find yourself
and fly away.
to the starsI’ve got this arrowto the stars in Visual & Found Poetry More Like This
curled around my finger
like Apollo’s heart
& your nicknames
engraved on the inside
of my lungs.
I don’t want to write
pretty little stanzas
or pick at the seams
of your poetry
like some deadbeat
psychology major -
I want to
all over everything;
shoot down your moon
& wear her
like a charm
around ink stained
I want to
to the stars,
& leave you there.
Scorpiussometimes,Scorpius in Free Verse More Like This
i wake up with bits of Orion
still stuck between my teeth.
& i grin, remembering
the face of every lover
i’ve managed unscathed,
to crawl out from underneath.
‘ad astra’ inked into ankle bones
like little wings, Pluto’s underworld
ripe, coursing through my veins:
i stake claim to clavicles.
between the constellations
of tongues & weak limbs,
i get off
on all the ways mere mortals
beg me to sacrifice them
to the heavens.
Je t'aimeShe told me, "I love you this much!"Je t'aime in Free Verse More Like This
stretching her arms out
as far as they could go, fingers taught
I looked at her, eyes smiling
and asked, "Only that much?"
"That's all there is." She replied.
And I agreed,
"Vast oceans can not compare our our love,
ConstellationShe is dream dust,Constellation in Free Verse More Like This
too bitter or wise
for her own good.
A timeless dragon's soul
somewhere inside a
scaled shell, burning
the silence in her bones
alive, honeysuckle sweet.
She collects fireflies only to
set them free at 3am,
crying to an uncaring moon.
& she's begging for the stars
to take her away,
make this house a home
rigged in the sky.
She is already naked fever
swimming through the cosmos
& I orbit her.
It is 9 in the afternoon& I have forgottenIt is 9 in the afternoon in Free Verse More Like This
how to write in poetics-
tongue kissed & gaping like
a siren missing from her sea.
I have been coughing up black
for days. Unable to clean the taste
from my mouth, these broken
typewriter keys sewn into my
fingertips scream something fierce.
They ache with longing
to tell of a story
that left them
for a better high
a story that never deserved
to make a home under the skin,
to crawl breech through an
-& out through the wrists
of young girls much too ripe
to fall from their beds.
I am so damn tired
of looking over railings
& wondering what
it would feel like
She has the moon in her eyes.But, this body is a black hole,She has the moon in her eyes. in Free Verse More Like This
a hollowed out womb-
and these palms are sandpaper
thin and bleeding a silent stigmata.
"Not yet ripe to fall from her bed,
too young to understand her own limbs-"
She folds back July's origami skin,
wishing for the warmth of winters kiss.
She is a raven heart, thumping wildly
against the whispers of vintage lips.
Her bed is empty,
but the sheets are red.
You have scars? ..You have scars? I still love you. You cut? I still love you. You burn? I still love you. You starve/purge? I still love you. You have depression/anxiety/etc? I still love you. You're suicidal? I still love youYou have scars? .. in Free Verse More Like This
Drop that razor, gun, rope, pen, or lighter.
Pick up some food and don't puke it back up.
Look in the mirror and love what you see.
Ignore the haters.
Point a middle finger to the bitches who think they are better.
Laugh at the idiots who think they tear you down.
Don't let anyone's words get you down.
When writing the story of your life, don't let anyone else hold the pen.
You are all beautiful and I love you♥
the girl who seems unbreakable...the girl who seems unbreakable, broke.the girl who seems unbreakable... in Free Verse More Like This
she dropped the fake smile and whispered to herself,
"I can't do this anymore"
hey you,the one with the razor in you're handhey you, in Free Verse More Like This
think about why you are doing this.
I know you feel like it's the right thing to do...
but I promise it won't make anything better.
I love you.
and knowing you could disappear scares me.
I can't affords to lose you.
I stay up every night and hope for you.
you know who you are,
all of you.
your not alone,
you will never be.
so talk it out,
do what ever you have to do to stop hurting yourself.
I need you.
change for yourselfpeople always saychange for yourself in Free Verse More Like This
"I'll be there for you when you need to talk"
and stuff about trying to help you get better.
but in all honesty
it has to come from you,
you you have to want to change for the better,
not for others,
you have to want to be clean.
those people offering to help,
you have to want it
you have accept you need it.
you have to be the one willing to let people in
in your darkest times.
you have to be willing to open up to people.
you have to change for you.
R.I.P Mitch LuckerOctober 20, 1984 to November 1,2013R.I.P Mitch Lucker in Personal More Like This
one year ago today we lost an amazing father,husband,musician,lead vocals of suicide silence and an inspiring person to a motorcycle accident.
he'll forever be in our hearts.
he'll forever be missed and loved.
keep stomping up in heaven,Mitch.
"you only live once so just go fucking nuts" ~suicide silence
"keep listening to music cause it gets you though everything, i promise" ~Mitch Lucker
bedtime stories don't quite go this wayonce upon a time--bedtime stories don't quite go this way in Free Verse More Like This
no wait, that's wrong.
let's not start our story that way.
you find yourself in your bathtub,
the water scalding
and risen as high as the rim itself.
you find yourself submerged
and screaming out for somebody to help
you are being drowned.
monsters as black as the sky
are tearing at your ankles,
cackling and pulling you down and out of sight
and water splashes out of the
tub and you are seeing nothing
but old memories that stick to your throat
when you can do nothing but cry.
you find yourself in your shower,
curled up in a corner furthest
from the water because
you are afraid that cold water will wash
away your sins.
you are afraid that if that water touches
you in the slightest bit, you
will melt like the wicked witch, and
you haven't felt enough suffering to die
in such an easy way.
melting is far less painful than the ways
that cross your mind when
water falls over your eyes and stings and
you can do nothing but make
NecrophiliaShe knows that somewhere along the line something about her changed, but that won't stop her because she is invincible.Necrophilia in Short Stories More Like This
But even invincible people can shatter, can't they?
Au bout du fossé, la culbute.
Pride comes before fall.
It's hard, he would tell her. It's hard to live in a world where society is what it is. She would stare at his eyes as they filled with this sort of emptiness that she knew by heart, the piercing green fading into a dim peridot. He would lightly finger the wide leather bracelets that covered his wrists and it gave it away to her all too soon.
She didn't even need to see the glimpse of puffy and reddening skin around the bright scars because she just knew.
And before she could form some sort of jumbled thought in her head, the bell would ring through her ears and he would be walking, walking, walking away from safety.
Feelings turn into thoughts. Thoughts turn into words.
my hair is growing longthank god for x-acto knives andmy hair is growing long in Free Verse More Like This
marking pins and heroine
addicts and you.
thank god for good music.
and thanksgiving meals and
grandmas and spanish teachers that
actually care about you.
thank god for
quizbowl teams and gay sponsors and
that give you strength even while
thank god for sandwiches and mothers and
thank god for blue gatorade and
little girls’ dreams and
leather ballet shoes.
thank god for hair bows and tutus and
a stage made up of glass.
thank god for hamstrings and
thank god for dazy
and little lion manes.
thank god for big paws and
wasp stings and
thank god for sally.
thank god for self-destruction.
and thank god for signs.
thank god for twin sisters and
best friends and
conjoined hips and most of all:
thank god for support.
thank god for love and
care and tragedy
and train tracks lit up in the dark
my bones awashed on the shorejonah was a man made up ofmy bones awashed on the shore in Free Verse More Like This
salt and stone and pieces
of driftwood he found carved with
hearts and letters of teenage boys'
and girls' names. he was
more than his chicken leg bones and
sagging skin, and the neighborhood
kids thought he was the
ghost of ol' samson, but he was just
ninety-eight and pushing it.
jonah was a man who liked
to wear his mother's curtains as clothes
and used moth-eaten tablecloths
as blankets during the chilly nights.
he had this kind of gleam in his
old, dull gray eyes. he thought he'd
build himself a boat and
set it on the ocean and maybe he would
find someone out there.
jonah didn't quite know who he was, yet.
the neighborhood wives that
brought him home-cooked dishes in big
pans to eat always told him
that he was no longer sane.
but jonah said that sometimes
sanity had less to do with the mind and
more to do with the people.
and on a warm tuesday,
he draped his mother's old tablecloth
around his shoulders and
bundled up in a curtain, left h
i keep my hair like i keep my blue jeans: shortthe beginningi keep my hair like i keep my blue jeans: short in Free Verse More Like This
she was all curls falling over shoulders and small hands and slender ankles, but she was also all crooked toes and cheek moles and half-baked smiles. she wore skinny jeans too long and too big on her and she always wore a jacket because she was always cold. and he thought that she was pretty beautiful the first time he saw her in a parade, sitting on top of a dodge truck and waving with both hands so that no one was left out. she was the kind of pretty beautiful that only came around when he said something stupid and she shook her head at him, trying to hide her teeth but failing miserably.
she wore glasses but only when she was doing work or when she had a headache because she thought that her eyes looked too wide in them and all she ever wanted in life was to be people magazine's definition of pretty—which she wasn't (but don't tell her that.) she drank tea on sleepless nights, sitting on her porch and stargazing; she thought that ma
six steps to fixing youstep onesix steps to fixing you in Free Verse More Like This
cry. scream. bang your fists against the walls
that keep you locked inside.
kick your feet in the air. tell your sister she's stupid
and wrong and that you've never loved her.
cry. scream. apologize via him to you.
let your tears catch on your lashes
until you can no longer see anything but your own
demise. taste the bitterness left in
your mouth from your own bitching and rot in it.
break a mug. break two. kick
the pieces around the kitchen floor and cry some more.
break a plate. break a cup. break a bowl.
break a finger because nothing can take away this
sort of pain. you are empty and yet
you are filled with so much anger.
break a razor and paint pictures across your skin.
you are okay, you tell them.
you break three days later and you lie
in bed, unable to move.
start picking up the pieces. clean up the mess
you've made and he's left.
use windex to polish off the dirt and
5 reasons to date a girl with an eating disorderi.5 reasons to date a girl with an eating disorder in Free Verse More Like This
her stomach hollows out sometimes,
but you never hear it cry out in the sort
of desperate plea that you think
her body ain't a kingdom and her heart sure
ain't an oasis, but she's got
the body of an hourglass (not that she knows how
to tell her own time.)
the bathroom door is always
locked when you get home, and she never fails
to keep her secrets just
as tucked away in her bosom as she does you
away from her misery.
she never lets you buy her clothes
because it seems that she never ever wears her
all they do is swallow her up in a pitied
attempt to kill her off.
besides, your pockets are heavier
when she doesn't weigh so much.
her voice is so soft now.
she never speaks--too afraid to start a war from
you like her better than your ex who
spit fire and brimstone at you, and never once would
shut up while you fucked
her into seeing white.
her daddy was always a rich man,
which is why she's got magazines of pretty girls--
Does Death Hurt?Does death hurt?Does Death Hurt? in Free Verse More Like This
When the knife digs into flesh
do you fall into your knees in pain
or simply in shock of motion?
When you slip away in the dark of sleep
does the dream still remain
as you travel to worlds unknown?
When the drugs hit your body
does your heart stop suddenly
or can you feel the imminent end?
When the noose slips tight
does your head feel heavy
and your limbs feel numb?
When the water rushes in
to the castle only of air
can you feel your breath cut off?
When the dirt piles over
and the air runs out
can you feel the choking?
So riddle me this,
oh master of death,
does it hurt to die?
Keep on DreamingThere are dreams in this worldKeep on Dreaming in Free Verse More Like This
Dreams of anything and everyone
Dreams are more than we believe
More than we actually dream
With a bit of faith
Dreams can become reality
Dream on, keep dreaming
You never know where those dreams may go.
Dreams change the world
Dreams can do anything
Dreams created the world
As everything that ever is, or was,
Began with a dream.
Keep on dreaming~
Don't JumpDon't jump.Don't Jump in Free Verse More Like This
Everything's so difficult nowadays though.
Just take a step back.
Ya, and rejoin the shithole that is life.
It gets better.
Not with me.
I hate this.
I don't want to live anymore.
Please don't leave me.
You'll be fine on your own.
You don't know that.
Why can't you let me go?
I want to be at peace.
I don't want to lose you.
I'm not yours.
We don't always get what we want anyways.
Leave me to death.
Don't let your memories go to waste.
All I'm letting go of,
Are memories full of anger and hate.
How can I convince you?
If I can't convince you, I'll jump for you.
Why would you do that?
I don't know what you've been through
And I don't know for how long,
But I won't live without you.
And like I said,
If I can't convince you,
I'll jump for you.
Drawings"Drawings"Drawings in Free Verse More Like This
I drew on the walls
when life wasn’t enough
the drawings were scribbles
that made no simple sense
yet when I drew they came alive
my heart and soul expressed
pretty ponies and dinosaurs
all simple scribbles of mine
when the parent returned
and saw my mess
the blood that stained
drew a prettier picture than
my simple scribbles
LifeI hate my life.Life in Free Verse More Like This
I want to die.
Now I know
That life would
Move on without me.
But that doesn't matter.
That my family
Would miss me.
That we don't know
What happens after death
It's a permanent solution
To a temporary problem.
Those reasons don't really matter to me.
It doesn't stop my way of thinking.
Suicide still sounds appealing.
People call me a coward
For running away from my problems
And maybe they're right.
But I don't see the light anymore.
And I just want to go away.
My life doesn't seem worth living.
My family would move on.
Things might now get better.
I believe we are reborn after death.
This 'temporary' problem has lasted years.
So I don't want to live.
I want to be a coward.
I want to run from my problems.
I want to die.
But for now
I'll hang on for a little longer.
Maybe I'll find hope again.
But I can't promise
That I'll always try to stay around.
Tea with the RabbitTea with the rabbit todayTea with the Rabbit in Free Verse More Like This
just the same as every day,
every single day and every single night.
And when he danced and sang
I could not join in merriment
for the ropes that bound did not budge
He would scream and cry while sipping tea,
and I would laugh while hiding tears.
He said he was late,
for what I know naught,
but he did not leave my nightmare.
“The Queen of Hearts is evil!”
And I agreed blindly. Yet I could not help
but wonder if she was really the evil one.
Dormouse, his friend of valiant honor,
rammed his sword into my thigh
and grinned when I wept and bled.
And my one and only friend sat across,
sipping his tea without a care, mumbling nonsense.
The giant hat upon his head outweighed his judgement.
Tea was scalding as it poured down my throat,
he didn't care as his feet thumped down
pleas to stop fell on deaf cottontail ears.
And when the cry of ‘off with her head!’ sounded
I couldn’t help but be relived and yet I still cried.
DaddyDaddy,Daddy in Free Verse More Like This
aren't you proud of me?
Haven't I done enough Daddy?
Am I not your little girl?
I'm sorry I'm not perfect,
but can you please come back?
I promise I'll do better.
I promise I can be perfect.
Don't you love me?
Look I drew you a picture,
will you come home now?
Where did you go?
Please come back.
Mommy says you don't care anymore
but I know it's not true.
It can't be true.
You don't even call anymore.
You said you loved me
and that I was your princess,
then why aren't you here?
Please come home.
I want my Daddy back.
My Angel.When I was cold,My Angel. in Free Verse More Like This
You gave me your jacket.
When I spoke,
When I fell,
You raised me up.
When I cried,
You dried my tears.
When I needed someone,
You were there.
When everyone had left,
When I was injured,
You patched my wounds.
When I was lonely,
You were my friend.
You were there.
You are my angel.
Say you willSay you will follow me.Say you will in Free Verse More Like This
Say you will stand by my side.
Watch for my
In the sands
Say you will care.
Say you will always be there.
When I leave
I'll leave no regrets.
Come with me
To the end of the world.
Say you will understand.
Say you are okay.
I love you.
So don't judge me
When I have
To leave so soon.
Say you will come with me.
Say you will never leave.
How I loved you
How I lived
And how I was here.
Say it's okay.
Say you won't cry when I'm gone.
When I'm gone,
I won't be gone forever.
I'll live on in your heart,
And your memories.
Say you love me.
Say you will never forget me.
Imaginary FriendsMy reflection in the mirror hates me,Imaginary Friends in Free Verse More Like This
and I know because she told me so.
She twists and turns and fogs the glass
bending unnaturally while moving with me
she pinches her skin and leaves blemishing marks
tearing off pieces she deems she does not need.
“Just wait,” she whispers as she bites her lip
“only so much longer and I can be free,”
her lips are bleeding again, but I’m brushing my teeth
“free to hurt and bend and break that wonderful body of yours.”
I can hear the whispers, I can hear her skin tearing.
She reaches up and touches the glass
and it bends under the brushing of skin
I finally speak with a tilt of the head
“Imaginary friends shouldn't be able to do that.”