What You WantMaybe you want them to notice
Maybe you want them to see
Maybe you want them to care about
How you’re lost and lonely me.
Maybe you want them to ask
Maybe you want them to know
Maybe you want them to care about
How your happiness is a show.
Maybe you want them to quiet
Maybe you want them to listen
Maybe you want them to care about
How your blood does glisten.
Maybe you want them to leave you
Maybe you want them to die
Maybe you want them to care about
How your life’s just a lie.
Cross My WristsCross my wrists and hope to die,Cross My Wrists in Free Verse More Like This
I will only ever lie
When you ask me if I’m fine
Or if I like this life of mine.
If I had a gun,
I’d put it to my head
And turn bouncy blonde,
Into ruby red.
You want me to stop cutting;
I’ll stop when I’m dead.
The last time I’ll cut
Will be the last thing I see
When I finally put an end to me.
Dying sounds good right now,
Just fading into black
And never coming back
To the agony living brings.
Perhaps you’ll find me hanging,
Or after OD’ing;
Someday soon you’ll find me,
It’s too late now,
I’m too far gone.
Now I’m just a ghost
Of who could’ve been someone.
Things I'll Never SayThere are certain things I’ll never say,Things I'll Never Say in Free Verse More Like This
Like how I thought about killing myself today
Just to keep my own scary thoughts away.
Like how I stay awake way too late
To be sure I don’t awake in a bloody state.
Like how I soaked white into red last night
And turned myself into a ghastly sight.
Like how it hurts too much to breathe
When I make my own skin seethe.
Like how I Google things I shouldn’t
When I want to do things I couldn’t.
Like how I’m scared of being alone
Yet I’m only happy when I’m on my own.
Like how I know I’ll wind up killing myself
And turn into just a dusty photo on a dusty shelf.
Like how I make myself bleed every day
Even though I know I can’t go on this way.
Like how I maybe want someone to see
And for them to somehow help me.
But nobody will ever help me,
Because those are all the things I’ll never say.
Chained and ShamedNobody gets it.Chained and Shamed in Free Verse More Like This
I don’t want saving,
I don’t want ”friends”;
I just want all ends
To be met in red.
I hate how plain my skin is,
How it should be painted;
I’m the addiction’s harlot,
I do as it must dictate
And when it tells me to seal my bloody fate;
I bloody well will.
I’m too full of blood,
I need to let some out.
But know this isn’t a shout
This is me coping
With how I’m hoping
Nobody’ll care when I go.
Cutting isn’t for attention;
It’s for a brief suspension
Of everything else.
It is mine and I’m its,
It doing as I want
And I its slave
Until there’s nothing left to save.
I don’t fear death
Half as much as I do breath.
Because I’d be lying
If I said dying
Wasn’t on my list of things to do today.
Carry OnI like sharp things;Carry On in Free Verse More Like This
The way they shine
The way they hurt
The way they leave a red line.
I like to bleed;
The way it's red
They way it hurts
The way it washes out what they said.
I like to live;
The way it's wrong
The way it hurts
The way it tells me that I am strong.
ThousandsI'm sixteen,Thousands in Free Verse More Like This
Doubt I'll see thirty
Hopefully my blade'll be dirty
And I'll die.
I don't want to die;
Just want it to stop,
Everything in my head
Telling me I'm better off dead.
I cut myself,
I said it.
Just read it.
I'm just some kid
Behind a screen,
So why should you care?
I'm not just 'some kid';
I'm the ones people laugh at,
I'm not a minority;
I'm a majority.
All those kids alone,
That death will come.
We're not hopeless.
We hope for
LifelineI hate how I look;Lifeline in Free Verse More Like This
The bags beneath my eyes.
I hate who I am;
The endless torrent of lies.
Sometimes I do things I know I shouldn't
And I don't do things I know I should,
Only that I could and would,
Because that's how people work.
Everyone has motives
And nobody is selfless
In this world that doesn't want
Everyone's gonna die
And I'm not gonna lie;
Sometimes that thought is the only thing
That gets me through the day.
I miss my old razor blade;
Scissors don't go deep enough
This red isn't my favorite shade;
I like it purer,
Then I could be surer
That I'm a threat to myself.
I'm trying to cut down,
As apposed to cutting everything else,
But I doubt I'll ever stop
Because every slash,
Every bloody drop,
The whole crimson rash,
I'm still alive
And I am
Such a ContradictionI'm just that fat kidSuch a Contradiction in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Starved of hope.
I'm just that cutter
Reaching for rope.
I'm just that dumb blonde
Reading all night.
I'm just that coward
Bleeding for a fright.
I'm just that child
I'm just that girl
With messy hair.
I'm just that burner
Wanting to be cool.
I'm just that geek
Scared of school.
I'm just that emo
Smiling with glee.
You're just another drone
But you'll never be me.
Red ScreamsSmiling at me, shiny silver teethRed Screams in Free Verse More Like This
Begging my wrist
For one chaste
Grinning at me, that evil smirk
Making my heart pound
So sharp so
I know I
And really I
Arm’s too full of blood
From attempts to
Join the stars.
Photo album of
My diary of my
I am still
UselessI'm a cutterUseless in Free Verse More Like This
That's all I'll ever be
Once you've learnt that
Defining fact about me.
You'll call me mad
Assume that I'm sad
And that I want
You'll check my arms
Only matters if you can see
But I can hide them
All over me.
You'll think I'm sick
Sick in the head
And that makes me feel
Like I want to be dead.
I don't do it
I don't do it
For a mention
I don't do it
I do it because of
That it's cast over me.
We Are/You Aren'tWe are the unwanted, the brokenWe Are/You Aren't in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
The ones you forgot about.
So don't be too surprised when we
Start to scream and shout.
We are the living, the dying
The ones you all put down.
But you'll know who we are when we
Run this goddamn town.
We are the corpses, the maggots
The ones you all despise.
But you'll be the ones scared when we
Expose all your lies.
We are the hunted, the lost
The ones you all spurn.
But you'll cry for our help when we
Leave you all to burn.
We are the losers, the winners
The ones that you deny.
But you'll be the ones damned when we
Hear the angels cry.
My smileMy smile was once so easy,My smile in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
a thing of joy and pride,
but over these years of darkness,
the ease has slowly died.
I find it's no longer truth,
but simply a lying mask.
It hides away the misery,
the hauntings of my past.
I refuse to look at pictures.
I see what others ignore.
The uneasiness of my smile.
How it has turned into a chore.
Will I ever truly smile,
with joy, pride, and truth,
or will I never know a smile?
Will it die with the rest of my youth?
Please, i wish to laugh,
to smile without a care,
but I'm not good enough for this,
and I guess that is fair.
I Met MeToday I met a girl,I Met Me in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
and she asked, "How are you?"
"Just fine," I replied.
She said, "No, tell me what's true."
Perplexed, I stopped and stared.
She was young, no older than eight.
Her eyes were still innocent.
They knew no hate.
"What did you say?"
I asked in confusion.
"You know what I mean," she said.
This girl was in a delusion.
Trying to be kind,I replied,
"No I do not."
She frowned and replied,
"You lie quite a lot."
Now I was agitated.
What does this girl know?
Acting like she's so intelligent.
I'll just tell her to go.
"Let me explain!"
She exclaimed in haste.
"I know you're not alright.
I know you feel misplaced."
How in the world?
Who is this little girl?
"But I'm here to say you'll be alright.
Though your friends will leave,
leave you feeling alone and cold,
you'll find a reprieve."
"So just stay strong
because I know you can do it."
How? Who are you?
I wished she would quit.
Suddenly it was silent,
and I turned to see,
but there was no one there at al
My MaskI put my mask on.My Mask in Concrete Poetry More Like This
Time to face the day.
Time to plaster on a smile.
Time to pretend it's okay.
I want to crawl in bed.
Leave the world behind.
You're too ugly to go out,
whispers my mind.
I know I am,
I stifle a cry.
I want to leave,
I want to die.
My mask is done,
and I have to go.
Time to face the people.
Time to put on my show.
My voice?I tried to smile,My voice? in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
laugh through the pain,
but it's been a while,
I think I'm insane.
I can't hear my own voice.
The one that says what I want.
Now I have no choice.
You never did, it taunts.
It tells me what I should say.
It tells me who I am.
It tells me everyday.
Am I the lion or the lamb?
Am I as weak as I feel,
or as strong as I pretend?
Am I cold and hard as steel,
or just waiting for it to end?
Who am I?
Do I really want to know?
I end with a sigh.
The voice is telling me to go.
Your Light, My FearThe walls are starting to cave.Your Light, My Fear in Concrete Poetry More Like This
I can't find the will to pretend.
I don't want to be your slave.
I just want this to end.
I can't take the fear,
the uncertainty of not knowing.
Can't you see, dear?
My strength is slowly going.
Are you there for me?
Will you catch me when I fall?
Because you don't seem to see.
You don't answer my call.
Am I a fool to believe?
Is this all just a lie?
Are you just waiting to leave?
Don't care if I die.
I wish I could run,
but i can't find the will.
I pick up the gun,
but find little urge to kill.
So I'll stay here,
no need to fight.
Ignore my fear,
focus on your light.
Cold HeartedI'm tearing them down,Cold Hearted in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Piece by piece.
Let the walls fall,
Let the pain increase.
I stare my pain in the face,
Let it rip me a part.
Show what I've always feared,
In the depths of my cold heart.
I review my lack of care,
All the people that I've hurt.
When did I become so cold?
When did loved ones turn to dirt?
What happened to me?
Once so loving and kind.
When did it get so bad?
Did I suddenly lose my mind?
I want to trust again,
To love and to care,
But is the risk to high?
Is the cost of pain fair?
I realize that it's not.
I'm safe within my walls.
So much better to be cold,
Then to get hurt in the fall.
With YouHold me tight,With You in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Please don't go.
I'm falling apart,
falling down so low.
Like a rag doll I'm tearing,
seams falling apart.
I can't sew them back up,
wouldn't know where to start.
I need your help,
but I'm too scared to say,
too scared to reach out,
tell you to stay.
You're my only hope,
like it or not.
My chances are slim,
but I'll give it a shot.
So hold me up,
don't let me fall,
just tell me it's okay,
answer my call.
That's all you need to do,
and I'll be alright.
With you by my side,
I'll stand up and fight.
Pretty Blue PillsPretty blue pills,Pretty Blue Pills in Free Verse More Like This
shiny in my palm,
the ticket to my peace,
to my eternal calm.
They're so perfectly round,
and soon they'll be in me.
The closest to perfect
that I'll ever be.
They go down so smooth.
Five, ten, fifteen and twenty.
Soon I'll be gone.
Twenty-five and Thirty.
That should be enough,
but I'll play it safe.
Thirty-five and forty.
Now I have no more to take.
The bottle is empty,
as empty as I feel.
None of this is happening,
too good to be real.
But soon I start to drift
into a dark unknown fog.
Somewhere quite distantly.
I hear a muffled sob.
But I blow it off as fake.
Nobody could possibly care.
I doubt anyone's noticed
that I'm no longer there.
But then I hear my name,
just a distant call.
I feel myself lift higher.
No! I want to fall!
I ignore the voice in earnest,
but it's calling me up, up, up.
Please let me be.
That life was too tough.
I like this fog,
this numbing haze,
free from the ridicule,
from the judging gaze.
But inevitably I come up,
eyes open so slight.
House of MirrorsThey say I spinHouse of Mirrors in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
a web of lies,
but webs are for spiders.
They catch their flies.
No, my lies are mirrors,
each a different reflection.
They fill up my house,
my sinful collection.
Sometimes I get lost.
There's so much confusion.
Which ones are real?
Which are illusions?
I try to back track,
but the mirrors turn me around.
I cry out for help,
but the mirrors block the sound.
I give up.
Hang another mirror.
In this one I'm cruel and cold
on the exterior.
How many reflections
will I become?
Which one is real?
Where have I gone?
Truest HomeI took my mask off,Truest Home in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
showed my true face,
but you threw it back at me,
called me a disgrace.
No one wants to see.
No one wants to hear
about my hopes and dreams,
my memories and fear.
They'd rather I stayed quiet,
shy and in my place,
but I can't stay behind.
I want to run the race.
"No!" They cry.
Stay where you belong.
No one wants to hear
your misery song.
So crawl back in the dark,
with your monsters and fear.
Sit there quietly,
year after year.
Never going to get out,
never going to get free.
This is where I belong.
This is the truest home for me.
Lying is Bad (A message to myself)Hello darling.Lying is Bad (A message to myself) in Free Verse More Like This
Have you ever held a needle to your wrist?
Have you ever skipped a meal because you were hungry?
Have you ever punched your stomach before falling asleep?
Have you ever felt wrong, because you told someone you were okay? (After all, lying is bad.)
Have you ever rocked back and forth without realizing, until someone else told you to stop?
Have you ever slammed your head against your wall so you might forget your situation?
Have you ever cried in a thunderstorm so no one would hear your cries for help?
Have you ever worn long sleeves and said it was because you were chilly... then felt horrible? (After all, lying is bad.)
Hello darling, I know you have.
But remember, you're strong. You're worthy.
You're more powerful than your sadness.
You are incredible.
You have been through more than you know,
And fought through more than you know...
And you've survived much more than you know.
You are going to make it.
You are going to push through this.
You are going to
I am a labelI slid the blade across my wristI am a label in Free Verse More Like This
Again and again.
Maybe I’m an emotional freak.
I cause fights and arguments
Maybe I’m a troublemaker.
I use make up to make myself seem
Maybe I’m girly.
I complain about things
Even when sometimes
Maybe I’m an attention seeker.
I fall under so many
So maybe I am a label.
I’m just me.
Am I Good Enough...?Legs crossed on a cold basement floor,Am I Good Enough...? in Free Verse More Like This
Blood stains painting my flesh,
The wounds deeper than ever before,
A white gown now a short black dress.
Long tangled hair clinging to my tears
Wind howling through the trees,
Moonlight painting a sky so clear,
And darling, I'm going to be set free.
My fingers scratch at the blood on my skin,
A delightful pain at the thought of a touch,
And hey, everyone who said I wasn't worth it,
Now am I good enough?
I'm Fine"Are you okay?"I'm Fine in Free Verse More Like This
That's all they say.
And I leave behind
These words in my mind.
I'm broken, I'm dying.
Inside, I'm crying.
There are wounds beneath my skin.
There are trials I face within.
There are things I just can't say.
There are people I must betray.
Beneath a smile, I feel pain.
Behind the sun, there's always a little rain.
And beneath these words I hold in my head...
There's always the thing I say instead.
I leave the truth behind..
So when they say, "are you okay?"
I always say, "I'm fine."
If you are a victim...If you have ever faked a smileIf you are a victim... in Free Verse More Like This
Slit your wrist
Cried yourself to sleep
Wished yourself gone
Chased a dream (and lost it)
Ended up in a nightmare…
Turned away from your “friends”
Tortured yourself over an error
If you are a victim…
Remember to stay strong.
Because you’re only a survivor
CastleCome with me, little girlCastle in Free Verse More Like This
Let's watch the rose pedals fall
Let's bury your castle
And put up a brick wall
Lets rip off your butterfly wings
And place them in your grave
The demons have come to get you
You better start to behave
Come with me, little girl
For you can only have the gown for an hour
Do they love you, or love you not,
Ripping pedals off a flower
Come with me, little girl
Let's open your scars
And bury your castle,
In the girl you no longer are...
I am not a stereotypeSlide the blade across your wrist.I am not a stereotype in Free Verse More Like This
"Doesn't it hurt?"
I can't feel anything.
Punch your own stomach.
Does it hurt yet?
"Why do you do that?"
The pain makes me feel alive.
"I don't know."
"What's wrong with you?"
I'm dead inside.
I'm just depressed.
Stare at your arms.
"What are you doing?"
I just have low self esteem.
I'm just human.
I'm just me.
Goodbye, miscarried babyI love the little baby that I never got to holdGoodbye, miscarried baby in Free Verse More Like This
The baby that I never got to see.
And maybe, just maybe that baby would love us, too
If only that baby got to be.
I love the little baby that was never able to smile
Never even able to survive.
And maybe that baby would have a life worth living
If only that baby was alive.
And maybe that baby had mommy's blue eyes
And daddy's smile, and grandma's tight hugs.
And honestly, there's no way to describe that little baby
And no way to describe the way it was loved.
CancerFeel the pain aching through your bonesCancer in Free Verse More Like This
Your flesh, seemingly fading to dust
Your mind, burning
Your thoughts, racing.
"It'll be okay."
No it won't.
Fight the tears, your father can't see you cry.
You're a fighter.
"You can do this."
No, I can't.
You don't have cancer.
Is who you are.
Hell Doesn't Even KnowI want to cry so much...Hell Doesn't Even Know in Free Verse More Like This
Maybe I'm happy,
Maybe I'm sad.
I feel so alone,
Yet I've been with people all day.
I feel so unloved,
Yet I know I have people who love me.
I can't talk about these feelings.
I can't open up when the door is locked.
And the key is lost.
I want to inspire,
But I just recieve empathy.
I want to die,
But I keep on breathing.
I feel so confused, lost and all alone.
The feelings inside me are too strong for my body.
I don't want someone to understand.
I want someone to give me the answers to why I am like this.
And a solution to fix the massacre inside me...
Words.../////////////Warning/////////// TriggersWords... in Free Verse More Like This
I have no words to say.
I haven't got the will to.
I haven't got the will to say the words.
I haven't got a clue what to do........
Starving myself to death is a long way...
But thoughts of death run down the drain with the blood from my cuts.
The pain has washed over my days for weeks. Months. Years.
It never goes.
I have no way to help myself.
Nor can I save those around me.
As I try to stop someone from touching the flame. I burn myself.
We both burn ourselves.
Should we just estinguish life?
Is that what we should be doing?
I don't understand as messed up as they are how can they not want me to to be so like this?
If they are saying and agreeing it how can they babble positive vile?
How can they tell me I’m going to be okay when they don’t want to be okay themselves?
I can’t do it.
I am in the same position as those around me. I reflect and worry what they are feeling.
I can’t tell them things will be b
Do you ever feel like...Do you ever feel like...Do you ever feel like... in Free Verse More Like This
You have no energy to get up and walk to the other side of your room.
You wake up in the morning and would beg to go back to sleep.
You would storm out of a classroom screaming, crying and swearing- if stupid questions like "what's wrong? What happened?" (or being screamed at) weren't asked after.
You cry. You cry. And You cry.
People don't like me - That's what you think.
People don't care. Don't love. Don't want.
The second you find a problem you can't fix or control yourself.
Bitch. You are a bitch. Ugly bitch. Fat. Stupid. Mean. Heartless. Selfish.
SHUT UP! FUCK THE HELL OFF! - you can't control your thoughts.
The second you get annoyed at someone. "I HATE YOU!" But you don't.
You hate yourself.
You think about where you could be, would be, wouldn't be.
You think about death and wonder about death.
You think about cancer and all those illnesses out there.
You store everything about death- suicide- in your head like a cabinet file.
You can stare off into the
LostDark Room.Lost in Free Verse More Like This
I can't see.
But I try.
But I cry.
No I don't.
I don't want to admit it.
I can't and I'll regret it.
I'm all over the place.
But I'm heavy.
I'm full of emotion.
And I can't get it out.
And the ones that work I can't do.
I don't know what I need.
But I want you.
Day 107School stress is not a good mixture with suicidal thoughts.Day 107 in Free Verse More Like This
Today has be amazing but I've now in a load of shit.
I got a C. And a B. and I can't help but feel shit.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
Two people asked about my bruise on my leg.
So two lies I've said.
Maybe I should just give up?
I helped a friend today because she was stressed, and worried.
Locked herself in the toilets.
I had to help.
I couldn't not help.
Because the way I am and how unstable my shit is.
I could very well be in that locked toilet.
Could be tomorrow?Could be a month?
Only I'd either be there with a badge or a blade.
Or my fist or nail.
Or a plastic bag. And hoodie chord.
Nah. Not the plastic bag. Not the hoodie chord.
Because I couldn't' do that in school.
It would spread like wildfire.
But the rest could be true.
Anyway due to helping a friend.
Well I forgot to find out about my exam tomorrow.
Then last lesson waiting for shitty results.
I stayed with my friend for support.
But no I forgot to get my pen drive
I Don't KnowI don't know what to do.I Don't Know in Free Verse More Like This
I don't how I feel.
My moods change so much- I can't describe it.
I can't explain anything.
I can't see a logical reason.
I can't keep trying to figure it out.
It's not bipolar.
It's not depression. Not all the time.
I have anger.
I have anxity.
I have self hate.
I have stress.
I have happiness.
I have hyperness.
I have depression.
I have suicidal thoughts.
I have hurt myself.
I can't explain it.
There are time when I think. Oh My God. I'm so depressed. I wanted was thinking of suicide. I was walking home so depressed. I sobbed my eyes out. Then was... Okay.
And then there are times when I think. How could I have thought like that? How could I want to die?
And then other times when I just think of death. Of depression, of every mental illness and try figure out.
Other times I think. Killing myself. Please. I give up. I can't even do that. I can't even starve myself. I can't even...I can't even... that's what is for everything.
Then other days I think. Bitch. Fu
Goodbye...I don't think I love you anymore.Goodbye... in Free Verse More Like This
I have loved you for a year and 10 months and you never noticed.
I hope it isn't just because I haven't seen you in ages.
I really hope so.
Because if it is.
As soon as I see your face all of that love will come rushing back.
But with love comes pain.
I must be over you.
Because I've fallen for a man created in my brain.
Who cheers me up.
Who holds me when I cry.
Who talks to me when I'm alone.
Who helps me when I've hurt myself.
Who loves me for me.
Who understands me.
And I know he doesn't exist so he can't be you.
I don't think I've let you go though.
I don't know who I am anymore.I don't know who I am anymore.I don't know who I am anymore. in Free Verse More Like This
A person who wants to kill herself.
But wants to cry and then wants to laugh.
Who makes a joke about cutting.
But then gets triggered by the word cut.
Who over analysises ever thing.
Who dreams pathetic dreams.
Who hasn't got the courage to do anything.
Who disobeys her plan not to talk about her feelings.
Who gets so jealous if others have it worse off.
That's why she complains.
But she shouldn't. Complaining stops her being the worst off.
She planned to give up on love.
But couldn't even do that.
Who can control her anger.
But doesn't want to because it pains her soul.
She planned to commit suicide.
But she probably won't have the guts.
Who freaks out, reseaching about bipolar.
Who doesn't care about anyone.
And if she does she's helpless and worried and scared.
Who wished to be reckless and stupid in ways to get way.
But everything she does just makes it harder eacher day.
Whisper GoodbyeSay "Hello."Whisper Goodbye in Free Verse More Like This
And whisper "Goodbye."
Hug me really tight.
Don't ask me why.
Talk aloud to me.
Share with me your smile.
Hold my hand in yours.
Just for a while.
Attack me with tickles.
And poke my nose.
Wrap me in your arms.
And hold me close.
I'll let you fall asleep.
I'll send a goodnight kiss,
To keep you safe and sound.
I'm broken and unfixed.
I know you will hate,
Having me around.
Sit with me in silence.
And play with my hair.
Text me when you're down.
I am always there.
Don't worry about me.
Don't dwell about if I'm gone.
Just give me some love.
And I'll try to hold on...
Destroy MeHe was beautiful.Destroy Me in Free Verse More Like This
Scars and all.
She was beautiful.
Scars and all.
Their love was undefiable.
There was no way to explain it.
They held hands as they walked,
Arm to arm,
Neither tried to stop nor help the other.
How could they?
Hypocrite wouldn't be the word.
But they comforted each other and did what ever the other asked them to do.
If she was upset and ready to relapse.
He hand her a red pen and kiss her on her forehead.
If he was close to punching himself.
She'd kiss his hand and hand him a stress ball.
They both listened as they spilled there feelings.
As they sobbed.
They shared sleepless nights lying together.
It didn't matter how much they felt like they didn't have purpose.
They need to love the other so that they were loved.
They both tried to fight together.
Support each other with whatever happened.
They were both beautiful.
So beautiful broken,
That their shattered peices,
fallen together created something bigger than when they were whole.
Keeping secretsHave you ever cried yourself to sleep?Keeping secrets in Free Verse More Like This
And if someone asked you that,
how would you answer?
Truth be told, I used to -
Just lie in bed and think,
think about every single thing
and how I felt about it...
what it meant to me.
But I'll just say no,
because I don't want you to know
about how weak I am.
And it is when all is silent,
the tears will slide slowly,
soaking your pillow.
Like a movie,
the scene plays out in your head
of all those times when you were
damaged and broken.
Replayed and replayed until
all the images end up blur and disjointed.
Have you ever cried yourself to sleep?
Yes, I have - many times, in fact.
But I'll just say no
because you're my friend
and if I were to tell you,
it would be the end.
RememberMemories.Remember in Free Verse More Like This
The thought worries me,
that I might just forget it all.
I'll forget the spontaneous times
where I would feel happy,
for really... no apparent reason.
I'm so scared,
that I'll wake up and
not remember anything,
and even if it means
losing the depressing memories -
I can't bear to let it go.
It shaped me into what I am today,
believe it or not -
all those sad, depressing memories.
And if I were to age and perhaps just
forget it all...
I would lose myself.
What would I do?
Who would I be?
Oh, sweet and painful memories -
please, never leave me.
Why wont you let go?Do you know what it feels like?Why wont you let go? in Free Verse More Like This
To feel nothing yet delve
into the darkness,
plunging into the unknown.
The unknown consumes you,
and you don't know
what to do with yourself.
Because you're just that detached;
isolated from everyone else.
You don't feel angry, oh no.
That isn't what you feel.
You just feel void, empty.
Like there's no emotion in you,
no one can contemplate,
or even understand you.
And you're just plagued
by this idea that
you brought this upon yourself.
All this sadness,
is because of you
and because you
wont let go.
And because you wont let go,
it'll keep coming back and
coming back to haunt you -
you'll never forget...
because it hurt you, that much.
My name is NothingMy name is Nothing,My name is Nothing in Free Verse More Like This
And I know...
You're in love with her -
I'm just your friend.
I am nothing else.
I am Nothing to you;
I'm a ghost that listens
to your many woes;
I give you space to
take a deep breath in;
I am who you turn to
when you have no one;
I'm always there for you,
but never actually there.
My name is Nothing.
And I know it was absurd
for me to think that
I could be her,
that I could be...
R.I.P WordsDo you know what it feels like?R.I.P Words in Free Verse More Like This
To feel something, but...
be unable to express what it is;
to be silent;
to fight it alone.
I know how much it hurts,
but I don't know how to show it.
Poetry used to be my refuge,
a place where I could be alone -
express all my emotions,
without being judged.
I'm losing it.
I can't connect to poetry.
Everything sounds so stupid...
Everything I write sounds stupid.
I have to erase all my feelings,
because they don't sound right.
The words aren't real.
They don't show what I feel
And maybe this will be the last.
Maybe I'm gone:
lost of all emotions.
I'm truly alone...
I used to have poetry.
Now I have nothing.
Socially awkwardDo you know what it feels like?Socially awkward in Free Verse More Like This
To feel so socially awkward
around people that you feel
uncomfortable in your own skin,
knowing that you don't fit in.
And, you walk away...
thinking that being alone
will be better for you -
but you're wrong.
You just feel even more alone;
even more rejected from society;
perhaps even sad, in some way.
What do you do while waiting for someone?
As you wait, and wait, and wait for them -
hoping they'll come soon
lest you seem like a loner
walking aimlessly around,
causing people to pity you.
And your face gets hot,
you start to sweat because
they know -
they know of how alone you are
and they feel sorry for you.
A monster impossible to subdueI painted my hopes and wishes on a canvas,A monster impossible to subdue in Free Verse More Like This
Even though I knew... it wouldn't last.
The monster inside of me came out to play
Using a scarlet river to wash my dreams away
It salivated at the delicious, red meal -
All the happiness that it could easily steal
Using its claws, ripping it shred by shred
Stuffing it down its throat, it maliciously fed
And each shred it ripped, it ripped my soul
I fed and fed until it took its toll
I was sucked dry of my wishes and hopes
After the monster ate, it hung me with ropes
I dangled from the ceiling, tears delicately shed
My voice croaked and I plead and plead
A monster I created that killed all I knew
Impossible to remove, impossible to subdue
There is nothing to be done, for it is my love it feasts
Farewell my friends, I cannot compete against this beast
I'm a monsterWe all have little monsters in usI'm a monster in Free Verse More Like This
that whisper ugly words into our ears.
My soul is at war, it is a fight
between the human and the monster in me,
and I fear... that the monster will win.
The monster controls me...
it forces me to think the worst of others
and it tells me to isolate myself,
to protect myself from those evil humans.
The monster dictates my every move,
I must pretend that I am a human...
lest anyone think of me as a monster.
The human inside of me has long died
and the seemingly innocent person you see
is nothing but a disgusting monster
hiding in the body of another,
preying on the weaknesses -
the weaknesses of those frail humans
and feasting on their flaws.
I wanted to be human,
but I'm a monster.
And I hate myself for it.
It Isn't Wrong...I used your words to form an apologyIt Isn't Wrong... in Free Verse More Like This
Because I didn’t know another way
To make you acknowledge me
But I’m still here, you know
As much as I was a year ago
I’m going in blind and taking shots in the dark
But I’m pulling every word from the bottom of my heart
I’ve had a lot of time to see things straight
You’re someone that I love, that I could never hate
That’s why every time I tried forgetting about you
I couldn’t force myself to do what I had to do
Now I can see your pain, I’m sorry I put you through it
If there was one thing I could change
You know that I would undo it
I don’t want to live, I don’t want to breathe
The reason we’re like this is all because of me
I don’t want you to be yet another closing door
You think I could care less, darling, I couldn’t care more
Take away from this all the evidence you need
I miss you just as much as you say you miss me
I want this forced silence to come to
Optimistically PessimisticThere's brokenOptimistically Pessimistic in Free Verse More Like This
Then there's shattered to the core
There's saying I don't care
Or I don't love you anymore
And theres frustratingly out of reach
There are lessons left to learn
But those lessons they'll never teach
There are promises
Then there are hollow and empty lies
There are moments that you treasure
And moments you want to die
And there's tired of going on
There is waiting for forever
But forever will never come...
Something To Lose.Is this all I am to you?Something To Lose. in Free Verse More Like This
Just something to lose?
Someone to hurt?
To hit and abuse?
For that would leave marks
Not even mentally
You go straight for the heart
Like a waterfall cascading
It won't ever stop
I'll be here still waiting
Or so I once thought
I can never fight this feeling
But I can't help that it's here
Maybe it'd be best
If I could just disappear...
Just One KissI hate that there will always beJust One Kiss in Free Verse More Like This
A lingering regret
An ache set so deep inside me
I cannot forget
I turned away as my thoughts strayed
“What chances have I missed?”
I don’t want one more regret
To add among the list
I need to know what could’ve been
What could become of this
I’ll take my chances, no regrets
For just one kiss…
Between what I feel and I say
Is what I don’t understand
You say it’s better this way
This is not what I had planned
I watched as you just walked away
“What chances have I missed?”
I’ll add just one more regret
To the top of the list
I need to know if you can see
There was something more to this
I’ll take my chances, no regrets
For just one kiss…
To taste your kiss…
Just one kiss…
Resonating.Don't, make, me, hateResonating. in Free Verse More Like This
All the memories we have made
Don't, let, me, cry
Please don't leave me here tonight
Please, don't, fake
Cause I can see all the mistakes
Please, don't, try
To brush the truth off with your lies
I, swear, to, God
That I'm still here, I'm finally fading
With each breath that I'm still taking
Knees are weak, my hands still shaking
Feel my heart beat as it's breaking...
Let Them In.With my back to the doorLet Them In. in Free Verse More Like This
I can’t help but fall to the floor
Out of breath, out of time
Out of sight, out of my mind
They’re tempting me; they lead astray
They mark my words; I am their prey
I can’t fight them anymore
So let them in and end this war
Leave me to my demons
Let them have at me
And strip me of my reasons
To ever be happy
I am broken enough
So that they fit in the cracks
I never wanted to be this
But now there’s no turning back
Let them take control
Because without you in my life
This is how a person like myself
Can ever become whole.
Missing Pieces.I am a missing piece. Something that someone needs.Missing Pieces. in Visual & Found Poetry More Like This
But at the same time, I feel so incomplete.
I’ve wandered way too far, wondered for far too long
Am I a missing piece? Or a piece that won’t belong?
Is it possible I’m damaged and not missing at all?
That I’m just as dysfunctional as everybody else?
Pretending to be perfect never softened a single fall.
But neither did admitting that you’re broken and flawed.
A broken missing piece. Is that all I’m meant to be?
There is no master plan that includes the likes of me.
Being all alone, it’s a hurt that will not cease.
A hundred thousand years from now
I’ll still be
Poets And Artists.I am self-destructive.Poets And Artists. in Free Verse More Like This
You are the affected.
I’m a thought that’s still in motion.
You’re an idea perfected.
I’m a sacrifice without you.
But with your life, I’m injected.
I’m a thousand puzzle pieces.
You’re the way to connect it.
Four Words I've Been Dying to Tell You...I'm nothing without you...Four Words I've Been Dying to Tell You... in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
Feather FragileHer heart is feather fragileFeather Fragile in Free Verse More Like This
Hidden so deep inside
Fractured and hard to handle
Her broken lullaby
Ghostly words echoing through her
A coldness like winter
Any moment may undo her
Lonely and splintered
Clouds heavy with the tears of an angel
That was caught and is hopelessly tangled
In the web of lies that the world has weaved
A fabrication she thought she believed
Her halo slips and it falls to the cold ground
Shatters asunder; not a single sound
Her tears soon follow and they washed away
Any little hope that might have remained
Her heart, so feather fragile
Behind a lock and a matching key
Nobody will ever handle
This heart that belongs to me
The sky goes pale with a lifeless shade of grey
As the sun sets light begins to fade away
In one last final effort, she struggles to break free
Tears now staining her delicate paper wings
Realizing that her fate isn't something she can escape
She cries alone in solitude, unwillingly she waits
Counting stars, wondering if they care
YOU CAN NOT STOP ME.You hit me.YOU CAN NOT STOP ME. in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
You hate me.
You label me.
You judge me.
You reject me.
You blame me.
You laugh at me.
You criticise me.
You threaten me.
You try to guilt me.
You call me names.
You tell me I’m wrong.
You try to manipulate me.
You refuse to apologize to me.
You try to make me responsible.
But you can’t stop me from being me.
SilenceWords never spoken,Silence in Free Verse More Like This
Screams never heard.
Whimpers never noticed,
Tears never cured.
Scars carved by silence,
Forming words unspoken.
Forever I will be
Just nearly broken.
I will never give in,
Though hanging by a thread.
I will never give up,
Though my life has been shred.
With words known,
But not ever spoken,
I will never be
I'm sorryWhen you tore my heart outI'm sorry in Free Verse More Like This
And threw it to the ground
That laughed at me
I reached out
To touch you
And you shattered
I know why too
It's because you were
And you thought that
If you accepted
Then everything would crash
But as it turns out
You were wrong
Because when I reached out
And you rejected me
All on your own
I pick up
Now I'll have to
Buy a new mirror
VoidThere's a word for what I'm feelingVoid in Free Verse More Like This
I could be poetic
I could be romantic
I could be dramatic
But I won't
Because this sort of feeling doesn't deserve fancy words
It deserves hard, merciless thoughts
Feelings, opinions, emotions that would make you scream
I look around and I see blurs and blurs
Colors swirling about
I hear noises that eventually dim to a low background hum
Everything is unfocused
The exit sign
I stare at it
I feel nothing
I just look at it
While everything around me breathes with life
Bolder and bolder it taunts me
Escape it says, escape
But I can't bring myself to move my feet
I can't bring myself to run away
I'm not ready to face the world
I'm not strong enough to leave it
There's a word for what I'm feeling
brokeni. i don't knowbroken in Free Verse More Like This
if i'll ever understand
why you walked away
and made that summer morning
feel like the coldest winter
ii. you act like
it's all my fault
and can't even see
how much it's killing me inside
iii. oh honey please
stop playing the victim card
it really doesn't suit you very well
especially when i know the truth
iv. do you understand
everything you've done
or are you going to keep
when the magic fadesI remember times before middle schoolwhen the magic fades in Free Verse More Like This
When I thought everything had magic
Like in the Disney movies I played a hundred times
And I was a princess in my own home
Those times crumbled
After my father faded away
And the other children
Decided they hated me
I didn't understand back then
The terrible words they uttered each day
That painted my world black
And made the magic fade, just like that
'Go kill yourself!'
'You're sick and disgusting!'
'No one loves you!'
'Everything you like is stupid.'
But as I grew older I understood
The words haunted my ears
Every night as I tried to fall asleep
Crying harder each time
And I started to believe them
My walls went up and my anger grew
Like nasty weeds taking over a perfect garden
I hated everything (especially myself)
I'm still not completely healed
I feel like bits are still missing
I only hope I can find them all
Someday very soon
So you see what words can do
To a mind and heart so pure
Tainted by words darker than night
And kids who want nothin
walk to the piershe's taking a long walkwalk to the pier in Free Verse More Like This
off a short pier
just like they told her to
with rocks tied to her feet
in hopes of finding a new world
deep at the very bottom
unless the sharks catch her first
ripping her apart with teeth
sharper than the razorblades
she used on her arms
creating new scars for each harsh word
but either way her soul
will find its way home
far above this wretched planet
back among the stars
where her thoughts always dwelled
I will break youYou held my heartI will break you in Free Verse More Like This
Until your hands froze
And shattered to a million pieces
You turned and ran
Like I had told you
'I break everyone.'
You refused to believe it
And did all you could
To piece me back together
I'm sorry to say it my dear
But you failed rather miserably
another collection of syllablesi. when will these patheticanother collection of syllables in Free Verse More Like This
11:11 wishes slipping past my lips
every blessed star-lit night
finally come true?
ii. you are my golden girl
helping me shine brighter
than the summertime sun
until the day we both
iii. you make me wanna scream
wrap your head around this tree
until you're molded into it
long distance loveI wish body pillowslong distance love in Free Verse More Like This
Acted like teleportation devices
And when you clutched yours
It would put me beside you
I wish blankets
Were like magic carpets
And we could use ours
To fly to one another
I wish computer screens
Would let us reach to others
And I could pull you through
And into my arms
I wish we could feel each other
When we clutch pillows and blankets
And pretend they're each other
So our dreams can somewhat come true
boy from my dreamsi had a dream last nightboy from my dreams in Free Verse More Like This
about a boy with stars in his eyes
who made me feel more alive than ever
and made my heart leap more than fish begging for food
he kissed me so unselfishly
and held me as if he was scared i'd break
trying to put me back together
with each kiss, hand hold, and shared sigh
'you're beautiful, every little piece darling'
his voice melted my insides and the drops
so full of joy ran out my eyes
and he kissed them all away
self-portrait (in writing)i. I believe in love, music, and myselfself-portrait (in writing) in Free Verse More Like This
because that's what's gotten me through
the tough stuff better than anything else
ii. a big voice doesn't mean anything
if the lyrics don't speak to me
iii. so go on and let me down
for the millionth time
and turn your back to me
after you've lit a fire in my heart
so strong you'd swear
my whole body was in flames
iv. i'm trying not to think about you too
(it's not working very well)
for what it's worth
i miss you too