Allison's RPG Rules, 1-25:Things Allison-Beriyani is no longer allowed to do in an RPG 1-25:Allison's RPG Rules, 1-25: in Comedy More Like This
1. If the GM asks me where an NPC is, the answer better not be "Right now? Mostly in my small intestine."
2. If playing a Cleric, not allowed to consecrate people, places, things or intangible concepts.
3. Not allowed to De-Consecrate them either.
4. No skirting around the GM's "NO DROW" policy by radically altering their emo personalities. As bad as the angst is, Peppy Cheerleaders, Guidos and Sheldon Cooper knockoffs are worse.
5. Not allowed to buy another player's Cursed D20.
6. Or steal it.
7. Or promise sexual favors from other players to him for it.
8. And it is most certainly not a "Star-Crossed Lover" with my Octarine percentile that always rolls in the 90's.
9. While accurate to the species, my Evils campaign Dragon needs a better overall motivation than "SWAG".
10. Not allowed to abuse jousting rules by having the Sprite ride on my head.
11. When told that we're going to be facing a gelatinous cube, I
Allison's RPG Rules, 26-52:Things Allison-Beriyani is No Longer allowed to Do in an RPG, 26-52:Allison's RPG Rules, 26-52: in Comedy More Like This
26. Even though I made them for Candyland, cannot play a Dire Gummi Bear.
27. Actively begging the GM for a Jabberwock (minimum level 26) when the party is still only level 5 because I have a Vorpal Spoon is frowned upon by other players.
28. My halfling shoving orange halves under his shirt will not let him seduce the Gnomish engineers into building something for us. Even if I do make the Bluff check by 30 points.
29. My God is not Duck of Many Things, Htrukkuktrik the Inarticulate, anything from Discworld, Cheesus Rice, Rolap, Persnicket The Oddly Specific, Neil DeGrass Tyson, a random NPC, a random landmark, or another Player.
30. There will be no more Undead Clerics of Palor, even if they do make ideal suicide bombers.
31. My God is not The Bird, and it is not my mission to ask people if they've heard His Word.
32. When facing Priestesses of Lolth, I need more than a can of Raid and a rolled-up newspaper.