I'm Fine"Are you okay?"
That's all they say.
And I leave behind
These words in my mind.
I'm broken, I'm dying.
Inside, I'm crying.
There are wounds beneath my skin.
There are trials I face within.
There are things I just can't say.
There are people I must betray.
Beneath a smile, I feel pain.
Behind the sun, there's always a little rain.
And beneath these words I hold in my head...
There's always the thing I say instead.
I leave the truth behind..
So when they say, "are you okay?"
I always say, "I'm fine."
AnorexiaMeet a girl named No One, with a heart of shattered stoneAnorexia in Free Verse More Like This
Staring at the other girl, the one that's not alone
Girl with skin that glistens, with the eyes of crystal seas
Grin of shining diamonds and a laugh like a disease
Flashes just a glance and soon, she's every trouble's cure
She has everything… and No One's off to be like her.
Eating turns into a crime, she'd rather be away
Thrusting fingers down her throat to make herself okay
Watching as her very bones are seen behind her flesh
There she drowns in tears, for she has not yet seen success.
Minutes turn to hours, and these hours turn to days
Every moment slipping, slowly fading into grey
Rapidly, her body turns to nothing but her bones
As she fights for beauty, as she battles for the throne.
Broken hearts must learn to beat, and this she came to know
Learning it the hard way when her heartbeat grew too slow
Yet, she somehow managed still to shine from what's within
Lying in her casket with her hidden, unseen sin.
Final thoughts ins
I am a labelI slid the blade across my wristI am a label in Free Verse More Like This
Again and again.
Maybe I’m an emotional freak.
I cause fights and arguments
Maybe I’m a troublemaker.
I use make up to make myself seem
Maybe I’m girly.
I complain about things
Even when sometimes
Maybe I’m an attention seeker.
I fall under so many
So maybe I am a label.
I’m just me.
I'm Fine"Are you okay?"I'm Fine in Free Verse More Like This
No. I'm dying. I have to push myself to wake up in the morning, and when I finally do, I want to go back to sleep. Even my best dreams are becoming nightmares. I can't taste food, I can't stand the things I used to love. I'm breaking. I'm fading. I'm dying.
Good Enough... for YOU.As I sit here cradling the blade in my handsGood Enough... for YOU. in Free Verse More Like This
Treasuring the moments I wish that I had
I can't stop growing more lost and confused
I can't stop thinking... am I good enough for you?
As I sit here, wrapping the rope around my neck
No one will understand a meaning so complex
I simply can't stop thinking about it somehow
Thinking, am I good enough for you now?
As I sit here, pulling the trigger on the gun
I think, maybe I was never meant for "the one"...
goes the bullet.
For when I think it through...
I really won't ever be good enough for you.
What Happened?I used to think make upWhat Happened? in Free Verse More Like This
Made people ugly.
Now I think I'm ugly without it.
I used to think people
Always loved me.
Now I think everyone hates me.
I used to think everybody
Was my best friend.
Now I think no one truly is.
I used to think
Boys were icky!
Now I wish I had one.
What happened to being
When I SaidWhen I said I wanted a fairy taleWhen I Said in Free Verse More Like This
I meant I wanted a prince.
I didn't want to be locked in a
I didn't want to be fought by a
I didn't want
When I said I wanted a fairy tale
I meant I wanted to be a princess.
I didn't want to watch a rose
I didn't want to wear the gown
I wanted it
When I said I wanted a fairy tale...
I expected it to end in a
But i never expected it to end like this.
I am Me. Who are You?I am thirteen years old.I am Me. Who are You? in Free Verse More Like This
I am not typical.
I am not average.
I am me.
I have been in two mental facilities.
Both times for thoughts of suicide.
I am not emo.
I am not a freak.
I am me.
My mother attempted suicide about six months ago.
My sister attempted suicide when i was eight.
But, I am not a victim.
I am not tortured.
I am me.
My father had a heart attack just over a week ago.
He was hospitalized for nine days.
He recently returned to the hospital for kidney problems.
I suffer from Bipolar Disorder with Psychotic Features.
I have hallucinations.
I have delusions.
But I am not a disorder.
I am not my difficulties.
I am not my troubles.
I am me.
Are You?I'm sorry,Are You? in Free Verse More Like This
that I'm not
I'm not a supermodel.
that I'm not
I'm not a comedian.
that I'm not
that I'm not
that I'm not
I'm not perfect.
Stop asking me...Stop asking me what's wrongStop asking me... in Free Verse More Like This
Because I'm never going to answer.
Stop telling me it gets better
Because I've accepted that it'll never change.
Stop begging me to let you in
Because even then, I'm just going to fake a smile.
I'm So TiredI'm so tired of crying,I'm So Tired in Free Verse More Like This
I'm so tired of loving,
I'm so tired of dying
inside my soul each day.
I'm so tired of hoping,
I'm so tired of dreaming,
I'm so tired of imagining.
It will never be real anyway.
I'm so tired of falling,
I'm so tired of failing,
I'm so tired of walking
when love is so far away.
I'm so tired of wishing,
I'm so tired of searching,
I'm so tired of remembering
those beautiful things you used to say.
I'm so tired of bleeding,
I'm so tired of yearning,
I'm so tired of living
in a world that's grey.
But most of all I'm tired,
of being the person I am,
I'm tired of my mistakes,
I'm tired of my broken heart.
I'm just so tired of being me.
I Met MeToday I met a girl,I Met Me in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
and she asked, "How are you?"
"Just fine," I replied.
She said, "No, tell me what's true."
Perplexed, I stopped and stared.
She was young, no older than eight.
Her eyes were still innocent.
They knew no hate.
"What did you say?"
I asked in confusion.
"You know what I mean," she said.
This girl was in a delusion.
Trying to be kind,I replied,
"No I do not."
She frowned and replied,
"You lie quite a lot."
Now I was agitated.
What does this girl know?
Acting like she's so intelligent.
I'll just tell her to go.
"Let me explain!"
She exclaimed in haste.
"I know you're not alright.
I know you feel misplaced."
How in the world?
Who is this little girl?
"But I'm here to say you'll be alright.
Though your friends will leave,
leave you feeling alone and cold,
you'll find a reprieve."
"So just stay strong
because I know you can do it."
How? Who are you?
I wished she would quit.
Suddenly it was silent,
and I turned to see,
but there was no one there at al
You didn't dare.She smiled,You didn't dare. in Concrete Poetry More Like This
but it was fake.
but she's about to break.
She reached out,
but no one came,
tried to fake it,
but the pain stayed the same.
This girl, she called to you,
but you didn't care.
Something told you to help,
but you didn't dare.
What would the others say?
The ones who called her a freak.
They may taunt or shun you,
so you choose not to speak.
Then she decides to leave.
Because no one wants her here.
You'll never see her cry.
She'll never shed another tear.
My smileMy smile was once so easy,My smile in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
a thing of joy and pride,
but over these years of darkness,
the ease has slowly died.
I find it's no longer truth,
but simply a lying mask.
It hides away the misery,
the hauntings of my past.
I refuse to look at pictures.
I see what others ignore.
The uneasiness of my smile.
How it has turned into a chore.
Will I ever truly smile,
with joy, pride, and truth,
or will I never know a smile?
Will it die with the rest of my youth?
Please, i wish to laugh,
to smile without a care,
but I'm not good enough for this,
and I guess that is fair.
Not Good EnoughNot good enough for me,Not Good Enough in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
not good enough for you,
maybe all the insults
are simply what's true.
What can I say?
Nothing, I'm done,
so sick and tired
of having to run.
So this is the end,
the last puzzle piece,
the very last straw,
the pain will soon cease.
I won't have to struggle.
There will be no pain,
and everyone's lives
will go on quite the same.
Because I am just me.
The greatest disappointment of all.
So say good-bye,
as I start my free fall.
I Say No?How many times can you lose it all,I Say No? in Free Verse More Like This
before you never get it back?
How many times can you fall,
till you land with a crack?
I get so close to the end.
So close to letting it go.
But something always seems to mend,
always tells me no.
I want to die,
but I need to go on.
I begin to cry.
I just want this to be done.
So don't keep me here.
It's time to go,
But now I begin to fear,
it's me that says no.
My MonstersI can't breathe.My Monsters in Concrete Poetry More Like This
It's too tight.
I hear so many things,
can't trust my sight.
The monsters surround.
No, they're not really here.
They reach out to grab me.
They smell my fear.
Have I finally lost my mind?
Am I totally insane?
Is this all in my head?
Is it just a sick game?
Or are they really there?
Do they smile as I scream?
Do they laugh at my tears?
Please, let this be a dream.
But it's not a dream.
I can't get out.
A hand surrounds my neck,
no air to shout.
Tears stream freely.
They start to close in.
I pray to god to help me,
to forgive all my sin.
The world starts to fade.
I can no longer see.
I smile in bliss.
I'm finally free.
My Little FlameO little flame,My Little Flame in Free Verse More Like This
you once burned so free.
You were bright and warm,
so comforting to me.
But now you wither and cool,
soon to go out.
I hope to restore you,
but my heart's filled with doubt.
I don't have the energy.
I don't have the drive.
I'm sorry little flame.
I can't keep you alive.
And without you, my fire,
there's really no hope for me,
but this was always inevitable,
always so plain to see.
O, flame, I wish it were different.
I wish you could live on,
but it's too late now.
Our time together is gone.
So good bye lovely flame.
Thank you for your time.
I'm glad that for a moment
you were only mine,
and as I watch you fade away,
I can feel myself going dim.
Already I am nothing.
I can't live without him.
My flame was my last hope,
so now I say good bye.
I have no reason to live,
and I wish very much to die.
Pretty Blue PillsPretty blue pills,Pretty Blue Pills in Free Verse More Like This
shiny in my palm,
the ticket to my peace,
to my eternal calm.
They're so perfectly round,
and soon they'll be in me.
The closest to perfect
that I'll ever be.
They go down so smooth.
Five, ten, fifteen and twenty.
Soon I'll be gone.
Twenty-five and Thirty.
That should be enough,
but I'll play it safe.
Thirty-five and forty.
Now I have no more to take.
The bottle is empty,
as empty as I feel.
None of this is happening,
too good to be real.
But soon I start to drift
into a dark unknown fog.
Somewhere quite distantly.
I hear a muffled sob.
But I blow it off as fake.
Nobody could possibly care.
I doubt anyone's noticed
that I'm no longer there.
But then I hear my name,
just a distant call.
I feel myself lift higher.
No! I want to fall!
I ignore the voice in earnest,
but it's calling me up, up, up.
Please let me be.
That life was too tough.
I like this fog,
this numbing haze,
free from the ridicule,
from the judging gaze.
But inevitably I come up,
eyes open so slight.
The DarknessThe darkness grabs,The Darkness in Concrete Poetry More Like This
it holds on tight.
I try to evade,
but I can't find the light.
Let me go!
I want to live,
but it does not tire.
It does not give.
I'm fading away,
can't find myself.
But no one hears my cry.
The darkness smiles in glee.
As I've lost myself all together.
I will never be free.
With YouHold me tight,With You in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Please don't go.
I'm falling apart,
falling down so low.
Like a rag doll I'm tearing,
seams falling apart.
I can't sew them back up,
wouldn't know where to start.
I need your help,
but I'm too scared to say,
too scared to reach out,
tell you to stay.
You're my only hope,
like it or not.
My chances are slim,
but I'll give it a shot.
So hold me up,
don't let me fall,
just tell me it's okay,
answer my call.
That's all you need to do,
and I'll be alright.
With you by my side,
I'll stand up and fight.
Just Words"I'm fine" is a dirty lie.Just Words in Free Verse More Like This
The truth is that I want to die.
"I'm tired" is not even done.
It really means "I'm tired of being no one"
"I'm better" is but a curse.
The truth is that I've never been worse
"I'm just cold" is what I say
so my sleeves can hide my scars away.
"I already ate" is said with a frown.
I starve to see the numbers on the scale go down.
"I'm okay" is probably the worst.
It really means I'm about to burst.
All these things are lies to me.
But you take this as the truth because what else would I be?
You Can't Tell MeYou can't tell meYou Can't Tell Me in Free Verse More Like This
that my writing is wrong.
It might be for you
But for me it will live, forever strong
You can't tell me
that my words are not right.
They might not be prefect
But I'll still put up a fight
You can't tell me
my rhymes are too mix-matched.
Its just because they are not yours
To me they do not lack
You can't tell me
I did not try my best.
Who are you to evaluate?
Its not like its a test
You can't tell me
that I didn't follow a rule.
Creativity has no list
I think you are a fool
You can't tell me
that I didn't emote at all.
How can you tell me what I feel?
Its not like I'm a doll
You cant tell me
everything that I should.
How can you think you know everything?
And think you know whats "good"?
Tell Me ThisOh, so you're not thin?Tell Me This in Free Verse More Like This
Tell me how you're ugly.
Oh, so your hair doesn't look good everyday?
Tell me whose does.
Oh, so you make mistakes?
Tell me who doesn't.
Oh, so you're not a model?
Tell me what the definition of beauty is.
Oh, so you aren't normal?
Tell me what "normal" is.
Oh, so you aren't good enough?
Tell me why.
Because there isn't a standard you need to reach to be yourself.
Everybody...We all fly off the rails, but live to tell the taleEverybody... in Free Verse More Like This
Everybody misses a nail.
Dreams break like broken glass, but old dreams never last
Everybody takes off their cast.
We all decide too late, but thats just part of fate
Everybodys built on hate.
We all pretend to keep, all our flaws and lies asleep. But
Everybody cries and weeps.
The Irony Of PerfectionOne who does not possess the gem of perfection sees himself but of a shadow of someone that is more, but yet renders clueless the plague he ceases to see upon him, for his imperfections sculpt him into a masterpiece all his own. The irony of perfection is only seen by the one who created himself perfect, his excellence in every lift of his finger and blink of his eye to bore him as he gains no further in what he used to value, in what his passion used to be but his love to vanish surprisingly as he preformed flawlessly to no where. Perfection creates nothing but bordom to build slowly as a sour scab on his soul, realizing he can go nowhere else but infront of a halting stop sign. He sighs as he watches his shadow build himself into more and more each day, longing to become what he was as if the shadow himself while the shadow builds only to become the possessor, unaware that he will soon wish to be his own shadow someday.The Irony Of Perfection in Free Verse More Like This
That one girlShe's that one girl you see with the pencil wovenThat one girl in Free Verse More Like This
between her skinny fingers
She's the one who sits in the corner
instead of the middle of the room
The one who's always last to speak
The one who's words are kept secret to everyone
Always the one who bites
her own tongue
She's the girl who's beautiful
but doesn't think the same way
She's the one who can't be convinced
of the talents she holds
The flare that ignites the lives of the people around her
but she can't feel the heat for herself
She is weighed down by the insecurities she slings
over her shoulders
She's unconvinced of her own style
her own special self
She's the girl who paints
She's the girl who draws
She's the girl who writes
But second guesses every stroke of her brush
to every letter she prints
Shes that one girl whose eyes display a world
all her own
But she sees a somber world
staring back at her
Dear meDear eyesDear me in Free Verse More Like This
I'm sorry for all the tears that I made you shed.
I wish I could have kept you dry instead.
Those nights I didn't let you rest
I'm sorry for being such a pest
I'm sorry for fumbling to the ground
I wish I had done something more profound
I just couldn't wait to fall
For those people who said they would be there if I call
Sorry for all those nights of crying myself under
I wish I could have made a silent surrender
For those sweet words you heard and believed
I'm sorry, but they were from people who stole and thieved
I'm sorry I didn't listen to you from the start
Now my life is falling apart
I should have believed that you were right
I wish I had given you more of a fight
Sorry for letting those dancers dance and dice
What they did wasn't too nice
Stripes suit you fairly well
Too bad I had to put you through hell
Sorry for messing you up so bad
I hope that didn't m
Crash And BurnI wonder if other people see how I feel.Crash And Burn in Free Verse More Like This
With every glare to meet my eyes,
its another preying glare to slap my face
and another glare that heats my cheeks with nervous fire
I wonder if, day after day,
if people see my fear, if they see how I shake.
When they walk by, I stumble away
because I know they don't want me near them.
I wonder if they pity me
If they see the lonely child inside my glass skin.
Sometimes they give me gentle eyes
because they feel sorry for how lonley I really am inside.
I wonder if they know I don't fit in,
if they try to welcome me but I'm too naive to see.
But everytime I just walk away because-
because everytime I try is another crash and burn.
Cross My WristsCross my wrists and hope to die,Cross My Wrists in Free Verse More Like This
I will only ever lie
When you ask me if I’m fine
Or if I like this life of mine.
If I had a gun,
I’d put it to my head
And turn bouncy blonde,
Into ruby red.
You want me to stop cutting;
I’ll stop when I’m dead.
The last time I’ll cut
Will be the last thing I see
When I finally put an end to me.
Dying sounds good right now,
Just fading into black
And never coming back
To the agony living brings.
Perhaps you’ll find me hanging,
Or after OD’ing;
Someday soon you’ll find me,
It’s too late now,
I’m too far gone.
Now I’m just a ghost
Of who could’ve been someone.
What You KnowSometimes the disinfectant hurts more than the infection,What You Know in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Sometimes the pain is better than the protection.
Sometimes the tears sting more than the smile,
Sometimes the yard tires more than the mile.
Sometimes the blood shines brighter than the blade,
Sometimes the heart is blacker than the spade.
Sometimes the kiss is sharper than the slap,
Sometimes the lure is worth the trap.
Sometimes the night is lighter than the day,
Sometimes the beast is weaker than the prey.
Sometimes the cut hurts less than the sob,
Sometimes the break is harder than the job.
Sometimes the lie is prettier than the truth,
Sometimes the alibi is better than the proof.
Sometimes the hate is kinder than the love,
Sometimes the buzzard is holier than the dove.
Sometimes the loser gains more than the winner,
Sometimes the saint is worse than the sinner.
Sometimes the girl is stronger than the boy,
Sometimes the child is more broken than the toy.
Sometimes the poison is sweeter than the cure,
Sometimes the dirty are
Please (Don't) Hate MeIf I told you a liePlease (Don't) Hate Me in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
But it made you smile
Would it still be a sin?
If I opened the door
But turned you away
Would you still come in?
If I sliced my skin
But it didn't hurt
Would it still be wrong?
If I acted all brave
But couldn't face it
Would I still be strong?
If I tied my noose
Around a tree's open arms
Would it be an embrace?
If I left tonight
And begged you stay
Would you still give chase?
If I committed sin
But hurt nobody
Would I be welcome above?
If I do something you hate
But only for your good
Could it still be true love?
Hope (I Won't)I won't let a razor bladeHope (I Won't) in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Take away this life I've made.
I won't let the shame and guilt
Ruin everything I've built.
I won't let being wrong
Stop me from being strong.
I won't let sorrow and pain
Resurrect the demons that I've slain.
I won't let ugly spite
Tell me that I'm not right.
I won't let the dark past
Make my endless hurt last.
I won't let this noose
Leave me hanging loose.
I won't let the world win;
My life is only just about to begin.
Things I'll Never SayThere are certain things I’ll never say,Things I'll Never Say in Free Verse More Like This
Like how I thought about killing myself today
Just to keep my own scary thoughts away.
Like how I stay awake way too late
To be sure I don’t awake in a bloody state.
Like how I soaked white into red last night
And turned myself into a ghastly sight.
Like how it hurts too much to breathe
When I make my own skin seethe.
Like how I Google things I shouldn’t
When I want to do things I couldn’t.
Like how I’m scared of being alone
Yet I’m only happy when I’m on my own.
Like how I know I’ll wind up killing myself
And turn into just a dusty photo on a dusty shelf.
Like how I make myself bleed every day
Even though I know I can’t go on this way.
Like how I maybe want someone to see
And for them to somehow help me.
But nobody will ever help me,
Because those are all the things I’ll never say.
Such a ContradictionI'm just that fat kidSuch a Contradiction in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Starved of hope.
I'm just that cutter
Reaching for rope.
I'm just that dumb blonde
Reading all night.
I'm just that coward
Bleeding for a fright.
I'm just that child
I'm just that girl
With messy hair.
I'm just that burner
Wanting to be cool.
I'm just that geek
Scared of school.
I'm just that emo
Smiling with glee.
You're just another drone
But you'll never be me.
Perfectly FlawedYou are not perfect.Perfectly Flawed in Free Verse More Like This
You are not flawless.
You are, in fact,
Excuse me if I am
But it’s true.
As there are stars in the sky,
And no matter how hard
You will always have flaws.
And that’s okay;
You cannot have a solar system
Just as you cannot have a warrior
We all have flaws
We cannot control,
And even ones we can.
And that’s okay.
Because tomorrow and today,
They are the stitches in the fabric
Of your being
And I think you are all the more beautiful
That your flaws are as important
As your perfections.
All EndsIf you cut you'll bleedAll Ends in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
If you bleed you'll die
If you're sad you'll smile
And if you smile it's a lie
If you lie you'll live
If you live you'll die
If you cheat you'll win
And if you win you'll cry
If you cry you'll lose
If you lose you'll die
If you run you'll stay
And if you stay you'll fly
If you fly you'll fall
If you fall you'll die
'Cause no-one will catch you
If your life is a lie.
RelapseHere we go again.Relapse in Free Verse More Like This
Another panic attack,
Just when I thought I was done.
Well, ain’t it fun,
To be a nervous wreck?
Only I’m a big kid now.
To be the resident
When you’re not beautiful.
God, I sound emo.
And so maybe I am
(by definition, at least)
But I feel like a sham –
What am I to you?
Would you care
If I lived out my dark little fantasies?
Got swallowed by the dark seas,
Of my soul?
Would you care
If I went back to the blade
That you forbade
Me to seek solace in?
If you knew what went on in my head,
A million different ways
To make me dead,
Would you tell me to just
‘Not feel down’ anymore?
If I could stop feeling this way,
Stop thinking like this?
I am a MouseI am a mouse.I am a Mouse in Free Verse More Like This
I am quiet, I am nothing.
I am a book that nobody has read.
I am an eclipsed sun and a cloaked moon.
I am irrelevant and unwanted, a broken toy in an attic.
I am the dust in your rear-view mirror that you leave behind.
I am the air that you breathe in and spit out as something different.
I am the palest white. I am the darkest black. I am the dullest, emptiest grey.
I am the old man with forgotten memories and the baby who has yet to make them.
I am a forgotten word, dangling on the tip of your tongue, hanging on the noose of your lips.
I am a dried up stream. I am a felled forest. I am an abandoned cornucopia of resolute nothingness.
And there is Hell burning in my eyes.
I'm tired of it AllI'm tired of being know asI'm tired of it All in Free Verse More Like This
the person with "problems"
I'm tired of being known as
the person with "disabilities"
I'm tired of being a mistake to this world
An unworthy failure in this life
Just because I have these problems
and not many understand them...
I'm tired of being judged
because they don't fully know me
To deal with this pain
and faking it all day long
I'm tired of putting a mask on
I just want to scream to the world
and tell everybody how I truly feel....
I'm tired of living a lie in my life
To pretend that everything is alright
while deep down
I am dying
I'm just tired of dealing with everything
Pretending to have this smile
to not feel the pain
That I truly feel deep down...
I don't belong hereI don't belongI don't belong here in Free Verse More Like This
in this world full of hate
Cause it is not who I am
I don't deserve this torture
I don't belong
to live on earth anymore
cause this life was never meant to be
and I'm not worth the suffering in life
I don't belong
to be here to this day
I have given up
the need to belong
I don't think I'm strong enough
to hold onto this life that I live
I don't belong here
to be put through this torment in life
No matter what I try to do
It is never good enough
I don't belong here
it is not what I want in life
I need a friendI need a friendI need a friend in Free Verse More Like This
to understand what I went through
I need a friend
when I feel alone in this world
I need a friend like you
when things don't go my way
a friend that was there from the beginning
that never once left my side
I need a friend in this world
to not feel this pain anymore
I need someone like you in my life
but one day you walked away from me
All I need in this world
to always have a friend by my side
I used to have a friend in this world
but like everyone else
You walked away from me....
Leave this WorldI will slit my wristsLeave this World in Free Verse More Like This
to watch the blood fall to the floor
to end my life for good
and nobody cry a single tear
I will leave this world
pretend that I never existed
This life dont need me no more
I am better off gone from this world
I will slit my wrists
to ease the pain
I can't take the crying
I can't take this pain
There is no hope in this world
There is no reason to live
I will leave this world for good
Maybe someday I will be reborn
Am i a shadow to you?Do i not exist to you?Am i a shadow to you? in Free Verse More Like This
cause I am just a shadow in this world
Do you know how I feel?
Or do you play this act all along?
Do I not exist within this life?
Or have you always used me from the start?
Am i even alive to this world?
Cause you made me feel that I don't exist
Am I just a shadow in the air?
Cause you walked over me knowing that I care
Do you know how much pain you put me through?
Or do you even care that you hurt me all this time
Do you feel that there is something between us?
Or was I never meant to be a friend to you?
Do you even care that we aren't friends
Or will this be another act in the end
Am I just a shadow to your life?
Someone that is there, but never seen
Or do you even care that I'm even here
Or should I not care, and leave for good?
PainI blamed myself for everythingPain in Free Verse More Like This
There was nothing that I did was wrong
but I felt the need to be gone
I needed to let this pain go away
I never knew what was wrong
but all the hatred has killed me inside
I pretend that everything is alright
but deep down I hold the pain inside
I can't take this anymore
All these memories tear me apart
It must of been all my fault
after all I was never meant to be Born
I blamed myself for all the hate
Everything that happened was always my fault
The pain and hatred deep inside
I burden myself within this wall
I need to let all the tears fall to the ground
I never had a friend
I never had a family
I wish that my life were to end
Cause after all I am a mistake to begin with
There was nobody within my life
I never had somebody to care for me
I wish this pain was gone forever
Cause deep inside its tearing me apart
I hold all the pain deep inside
Cause after all everything was my fault
I wish my life was over
than maybe I won't feel this regret no more
You Destroyed MeI wish you understood,You Destroyed Me in Free Verse More Like This
that you were my friend
But you found so many ways,
to rip my heart into pieces..
You used to be there,
you always helped me stand tall.
But now I see that these were lies,
you never cared about me at all...
I thought of you as a friend,
but your just like everyone else.
Now just leave me alone in this world,
and watch me suffer into the night.
I lost so many people,
I am better off alone.
You were my friend,
but you destroyed the only thing that mattered.
You destroyed my trust,
you destroyed my life.
so leave me the hell alone,
and watch me suffer in this world alone..
Just to FeelI would cutJust to Feel in Free Verse More Like This
just to feel the pain
just to know
that my life was worth it
Every inch on my arm
every inch on my leg
I would cut
just to feel the pain deep inside
To watch the blood pour down
to cry in happiness
I would cut
just to know that I still feel
Cutting my skin
burning it completely
I would suffer in agony
just to see if I still feel
Every scar that is there
every inch that I cut
it just proves
how much my life was worth it
I would cut
just to feel the pain
to know that Im still alive
to know that I still feel
Feeling of pain
feeling of torture
I would cut
to know that I still feel
In this world...
Dreaming of YouEvery night I dream of youDreaming of You in Free Verse More Like This
wishing upon a star
that you were here for real
Every night I lay in bed
a dream so wonderful
cause you are in it
I dream of being with you
to grow old together
a day never apart
only you are in my thoughts
A feeling so wonderful
it is in my heart
the love that grows
stronger each day
Every night I think of you
our love is for real
you are always here
I dream of happiness
being with you all the time
a dream so magical
that everything seem so real
you are here with me
keeping me safe
throughout the night
After all it is just a dream
but I promise you
that one day it will be real
So for now I will just dream
of seeing you in sight
cause some day it will happen
that you will be in my arms
You're the love of my LifeI never really knew youYou're the love of my Life in Free Verse More Like This
you were just another friend of mine
someone that always cared about me
more then anybody else in this world
You were always there for me
and this is what has guide us
as we have grown so close together
Love has a different story to all
Fate has brought us together
and it has been said to all
that love is an amazing feeling
and it has always been right
You have made it to my heart
a place where nobody could ever reach
You told me I had a purpose to live
and that purpose was to be right beside you
There is no place where I feel loved
not in this world we all known as hell
but with you right beside me
I will always have the love within my life
You have proved that you meant every word
and i have got to say this was best of all
there is no words to express how i feel
but baby it is true
You are the Love of my Life
ThinkYou say I`m cold.Think in Free Verse More Like This
You say I don`t want to be friends.
You say I keep to the shadows.
You say I don`t like people.
You say I`m weird.
I`m not cold, I`m shards of a person.
I`d love to be friends, but I`m scared.
I keep to the shadows to stay out of sight.
I like people but I can`t trust them.
Would you be warm if you`d been broken?
Would you be friendly if stabbed in the back?
Would you walk in light if darkness surrounded you?
Would you like people who made you want to die?
Would you be different?
Before you judge, make an effort to see.
Surfaces have depths, people have sadness beneath.
Go away.Go away.Go away. in Free Verse More Like This
Leave me alone.
Why won`t you go.
I hate you.
I don`t want to talk.
I said go.
You always do this.
You always pick these moments.
It`s your fault.
I blame you.
I just don`t want to talk about it.
I don`t want to think about it.
I`m not fine.
Please don`t go.
I need to tell you something.
Shadow.I walk swiftly across the plane of misery.Shadow. in Free Verse More Like This
Praying to God, to not let it be.
He does not listen and turns away from me.
They scream and jeer and slowly kill me.
A shadow of me,
is what I must be.
I was once happy, a vibrant soul.
I loved everyone, both young and old.
That all changed, when they ripped it out of me.
Screamed abuse, threw rocks and made me see.
How people are cruel, they will laugh and mock without end.
At the sad little girl who just wants a friend.
She needed someone to help her see.
That people were cruel and will never let you be.
A shadow of me,
is what they made me.
I walked home and went up to bed,
I cried and screamed, wanting it to end.
That night I decided to finish it all.
No person again, could make me fall.
Instead I would fly, I`d always wanted wings.
I`d see the ones I`d lost, all those things.
That night, I slashed my thin wrists.
Eyes bright, a smile on my lips.
Never again would I feel so sad.
My life would end, but I was glad.
That night, I slipped int
Feel.You can`t.Feel. in Free Verse More Like This
You can`t feel what I felt.
Rip out your heart.
Pull out your spine
Tear yourself apart.
Then you`ll come close.
That`s how you made me feel.
With your words.
They reached inside me.
pierced my soul.
But now it`s different.
I have the chance
to tear you apart.
But I don`t.
It would mean being like you.
But I want to live.
So I forgive instead.
LoveI want to fall in love.Love in Free Verse More Like This
I want to feel my heart beat with yours
I want to never let go
I want to love you
I have to fall in love.
I have to find the other part of me.
I have to feel what I can`t
I have to love you
I need to fall in love.
I need to have that closeness
I need you to always be with me
I need to love you.
I fell in love
I found what I was searching for
I have what I needed
I love you.
BeautyHer hair, a shining dark waterfall.Beauty in Free Verse More Like This
Her eyes, opalescent jewels.
Her skin, cream and roses.
Her body, graceful.
She is Beauty.
But she changes.
Her hair, fake and plastic.
Her eyes, you can`t see them under the makeup.
Her skin, smeared thickly with tan.
Her body, curves grotesquely accented.
She is your version of Beauty.
Magic.Magic.Magic. in Free Verse More Like This
The voices in the wind.
The shiver down your spine.
The sparkle in the eye.
The whispers in the trees
It is Magic.
The forgiveness out of anger.
The strength out of weakness.
The light from darkness.
The life out of death.
It is Magic.
I Have WalkedI have walked through hell.I Have Walked in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
I have pushed through its fires.
I have walked over needles and daggers with flaming arrows being fired.
I have walked through blizzards.
I have walked through freezing rain.
I have walked across thin ice and seen the cracks as it gives way.
I have walked over mountains.
I have felt their sharp edges.
I have stumbled over loose rocks and clung to the ledges.
I have walked the smooth paved roads,
And slipped on the smaller gravel paths too.
And felt the thorns tug at me as I pressed through the world to make a new.
But I have danced through meadows.
I have felt the soft grass underfoot.
The tingling of the summer sun and frolicked through brooks.
I have walked in light flurries.
Watched my footprints imprint in the gentle snow.
And I knew I’d left my mark behind, that my presence might affect someone not even known.
And I have marched into the deep oceans
I have walked through the swirling seas.
Only to emerge once again, complete and having faced a cha
Confession about me Silent StrengthI am strong, but please never confuse this strength with invulnerability.Confession about me Silent Strength in Free Verse More Like This
I do hurt.
I do cry.
I do love.
I do feel.
I do get crushed.
I do regret.
But please never think that while I may never show these things in front of you, that I don’t feel them.
Because I do.
More than you could ever imagine.
I’m a hyper sensitive person, forced into a role of strength.
It is just a rare occasion when my reserve breaks and I show it in front of people.
And when this happens, I reach a state of such openness and vulnerability that I fear.
Because I can withstand a thousand blows, but just one word can cut me down. And at that moment, I fear what could be said to me.
I’m very sorry if anyone who see this thinks of me as cold, or heartless, or unfeeling.
It's just in my life, I have had people who rely on me to be the strong one who keeps a level head and calm emotions.
And so when I break in front of someone, I apologize profusely.
Because what if they were someone that needed me
Goodbye's for GoodLove of the purest form turned to hate of the rawest.Goodbye's for Good in Free Verse More Like This
Don’t touch me with your stranger hands.
No soul I know lingers or lies behind your eyes.
Not one I can recognize
I still count the days since then,
It pursues me like an internal itch beneath my skin.
I deny the scratch and try to shake it out.
My memories of you are hit or miss.
I remember your hands, your hair,
But fading are your eyes and almost gone your kiss.
You will join the ranks.
Of nearly forgotten, faceless “Lovers”
Go on. In your life, it's so easy to replace.
I said leave me alone!
Just the thought of you sends surges in my skin.
It constricts my chest so no air pours in.
And I'm afraid.
That while I never really hate,
You might just be on the cusp of it.
Still I want only the best things, to befall your fate.
Don’t call my name.
Don’t claim were friends.
Because Ill always remember.
How you so easily turned your back on me in the end.
Please just go…
I cant stand this memory of you
When Your Best is Not Good EnoughDon't speak.When Your Best is Not Good Enough in Free Verse More Like This
Don't hold yourself together.
Don't fall apart.
Don't pretend it is all going to be okay.
Don't act like it won't be all right.
Don't touch me.
Don't look away from me.
Don't be so needy.
Don't be so grateful.
Don't act silly.
Don't be so serious.
Don't have so much fun.
Don't be so sullen.
Don't love anyone too much.
Don't be so selfish.
Don't ignore me.
Don't love me too much.
And hope? Hope is just a lie you tell yourself so that tomorrow, you can do it all over again.
Love as an AsthmaticI snatch my breath after we kissLove as an Asthmatic in Free Verse More Like This
because I want to feel you
in my wheezing, useless lungs
not just a craving
a desperate need
in the physical urge
to breathe you in,
make your mystical secrets
a part of my body.
The Girl Who Was Afraid To BeShe speaks to me fondlyThe Girl Who Was Afraid To Be in Free Verse More Like This
of passions and talents,
of guitars and stars,
with such breathless intensity
then stops short and
for speaking at all.
All because somewhere in her life,
someone she loved broke her heart
her beautiful words
and telling her to
keep it down,
People aren’t born sad.
We make them that way.
The MonstersThe monsters were neverThe Monsters in Free Verse More Like This
under my bed.
Because the monsters
were inside my head.
I fear no monsters,
for no monsters I see.
Because all this time
the monster has been me.
Cinnamon Souls"You're mixing water in your coke again."Cinnamon Souls in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
"You do that when you worry."
"I'm always worried."
"No, you're usually cinnamon-in-your-tea worried. This is water-in-coke worried and that is seriously beginning to freak me out."
"What are you worried about?"
"You're going to think it's stupid."
"Well...do you ever wonder about the kind of guy you're waiting for?"
"I think we all wonder about that guy, love."
"I've been thinking about him more often than not lately. What he would be like, I mean."
"Oh. Well...if it helps any, I know what mine would be like."
"Sure. He will be tall, so I have to stand on my toes to kiss him. He will be kind so I can tell him anything without fearing him judging me. He will be strong so he can carry me when I fall."
"Wow. Sounds like you have this figured out. I guess we all have some idea about what our soulmate should be like."
"You know what yours will be like then?"
"No, I'm talking to the li
Constructive Criticism"Tell me what you think."Constructive Criticism in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
"Of the poem?"
"No, of my face. Yes, the poem."
"I was going to say, because your face is just stupid."
"Very funny. Read."
"What did you think?"
"Why did you write this?"
"I wrote it for you."
"You make me self conscious when you say things like that."
"I'm not worth this you know."
"What does that mean?"
"I am half a girl, and I deserve half a poem."
"That is not true, and you still haven't told me what you really thought about it."
"It's as broken and complex and half hearted as a sad song about the way you feel ink trail between your fingers like it's blood. There is no reason for it, it's the kind of beautiful that is there just for being there. It happened, it's a moment in time forever frozen and to be remembered in a way that candles that burn in holy places should be. It's a forever, all by itself- Why are you looking at me like that?"
"Because you believe you deserve half a poem."
"I do. I am too damaged and broken an
The Girl He LovesThe girl he loves is midnight, like the blue of the sea cradled by the moonlight.The Girl He Loves in Free Verse More Like This
The girl he loves is verdant, the very green of the hill kissed by the summer delight.
The girl he loves is coral, as pink as the roses that grow in his mother's garden.
The girl he loves is crimson, red like the autumn leaves that lay abandoned.
The girl he loves I can never be
Because he's allergic to violets,
And violets are too much like me.
Skinny Wordslook:Skinny Words in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
he was winterish blue eyes and an autumn scarf dressed in an stupid pink summer sweater that made no sense on a spring day. His shoes were converse, the kind of the skinny intellectual who had just enough money to buy one pair of decent shoes. she never really liked skinny intellectuals, yet did find herself considering them sometimes, in the way she considered coffee that was tongue scalding (horribly and without excuse).
it is odd then, that she still doesn't regret his monsoon flavoured kiss, the kind that made your tongue bleed with its passion, its heat.
he drew in uneasy catches of breath as he snored in the heat of the summer night, nights when she would stay up and listen to cars that passed by, pretending they were a waterfall instead of the cold harsh truth of metal against concrete, just so she could sleep as soundly as him.
she took his breathing for granted.
he spent hours lost in the dry unending silence of his typewriter, of h
Running Away"What are you afraid of?" He had asked her as they lay there, under a bay window that showed a velvet black sky, sprinkled with sparkling diamonds. After a few minutes, a hand reached out and took his. He looked down at the soft hand, paper white with rivulets of sapphire under the skin. It had never occurred to him just how much he loved her hands until now.Running Away in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
"Would you like the truth? Or will a lie suffice?" A dulcet voice whispered. She had still not turned to look at him, but her hand in his remained strong.
"The truth." He always asked her for the truth. He didn't want rubies of falsehood, of lies, to ruin what they had taken so long to build. He understood them to be a diamond, and the truth to be their diamond cutter, pulling away pretenses that shouldn't exist. And so, her voice lifted slowly.
"I'm afraid of the door when it shuts out the light. I'm afraid of the jolt my heart makes every time you look at me. I'm afraid of the park bench where my mother and I used to sit and don
Introductions"Hi, I'm-"Introductions in Short Stories More Like This
"I know who you are."
"You're the guy who thinks he's invisible."
"I have a name-"
"It isn't important. Because you really don't think it's important."
"All right. Since we've started out this way, let me just tell you, I know you too."
"You're the girl who is broken."
"I am not broken."
"You're the girl whose eyes close every night and open the next morning, only to find you have never slept at all."
"I sleep well. Besides-"
"You're the girl who dreams of a happy ending even though she has seen seventeen...no, eighteen unhappy ones in her eighteen years."
"Happy endings are over rated. And you're-"
"You're the girl who wants something bigger, something stronger, just so the weakness in her body becomes something so much more."
"You don't understand weakness the way-"
"You're the girl whose heart broke when she was so young, and she fixed it back together with superglue, but cannot ignore the cracks."
"Superglue makes for a good companion, especially when-"