Haitus + RantHey all,Haitus + Rant in Personal More Like This
As you may have noticed, I am going to be absent a while. There are a lot of reasons for it - from losing interest in HArpg, to computer problems, but the main reason is just real life getting in the way.
As a lot of you know, I have been trying to get back to New York for some time now. It's been over a year that I've been 'stuck' up in Maine, and I've just about gone insane during my stay.
My mother is an alcoholic - and going quite crazy at that. She gets into rediculous online relationships, emotionally and financially fucks over people that actually care about her (including me - which is partly why I haven't been able to get to NY yet), and today - to top off all the events - I went downstairs to get dinner and she was screwing her best friends husband.
I know that without truly going into writing something short of a novel, I cannot really express what an emotional wreck living here has been. I went from being a very strong, independent woman to being nearly shattered.
hey you,the one with the razor in you're handhey you, in Free Verse More Like This
think about why you are doing this.
I know you feel like it's the right thing to do...
but I promise it won't make anything better.
I love you.
and knowing you could disappear scares me.
I can't affords to lose you.
I stay up every night and hope for you.
you know who you are,
all of you.
your not alone,
you will never be.
so talk it out,
do what ever you have to do to stop hurting yourself.
I need you.
looking back at myselfI look back at the person I used to be,looking back at myself in Free Verse More Like This
I never guessed I would end up like this,
all I can say is then pain changed me... drastically,
I remember being happy, always having a smile on my face,
being excited to grow up,
imagining how I would turn out,
It never crossed my min I would end up like this,
growing up is not at all what you imagine it,
am I supposed to be this way?
did I do something wrong?
am I always going to be this way,
broken, full of scars, hurt?
will I always need to feel that burn?
what can I do to fix me?
what would happen if just ended my life?
would anybody care?
would anyone miss me?
because all I can feel is pain,
don't grow up too fast... you'll regret it
you may...you may see the scares that I caused by myselfyou may... in Free Verse More Like This
but you'll never understand why I have them
you may think I'm happy
but you'll never realize how hurt I really am
you may thing I'm the happiest person you know
but you'll never cared if I cried for help
you may notice I always wear pants and a sweater, no matter what the weather is
but you'll never know why
you may thing you know my story
but all you know is the lie I'm living during the day... but when I'm alone I'm completely different
you may never see the cuts or scars
but I do it see if I'm alive, and I don't think you'd understand
you may think I trust you
but I really don't it get me somewhere I regret being in
you may be the reason why I have scars
but you'll never realize how sensitive I really am
being strongGettin pushed around thinking no one cares that's not true cause i do,being strong in Free Verse More Like This
So put your head up high,
stay strong wear that fake smile,
move on dont let those bullyies get you down
your stronger than that razor,
You think that your alone but your not,
every one here is to help you with faith we will guide you...
it will got better...
i know it's hard,
it'll take a while to get easier
but i will...
one day you'll realize,
you are strong
BREEDINGS OPENBREEDINGS OPEN in Personal More Like This
Each horse has his own requirements,read it
Please, only ask in the comments of this journal, first ask first serve.
BSS Garden Of Shinning Diamonds
- Do a full body picture of him as a payment for the breeding.
- Mare should be full quarter horse at least 20 points at a registered group.
- You do the breeding picture. (Full body with backgroun) and I'll design the foal.
-[ http://timberlakelaneec.deviantart.com/art/SSS-Need-for-Speed-282857675 ]
-[ http://shadowedforest.deviantart.com/art/SFS-Kamieno-Superior-Horse-Reference-341790855 ]
- [ http://daphidil8.deviantart.com/art/LoveMe-HateMe-Reference-334586072 ]
Description: Garden Of Shinning Diamonds, Premium horse by the #HARPG-The-WD (53pts) son of SK Diamond Bay also a Premium Horse (65pts). Has been two times placed first on reining and he's only starting his career.
He's a horse with a beautiful coat,most of times generate palomino's reiners and alrea
Flying Feathers Light Show- Results! Winners posted! You guys made this so hard, all the entries were creative and fabulous!!!! Ribbons will be posted some time reasonably soon, otherwise note me about your prize if you won 1st-3rd or Judge's/Viewer's ChoiceFlying Feathers Light Show- Results! in Personal More Like This
1) sVa Braydan 82
2) GH Destiny in the Stars (aka Nova)
3) H.M.S. Meet the Ghost of Stephen Foster at the Hotel Paradise
4) BWS Bloody Russian Roulette
1) KhS Farahild 312
2) GH Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
3) IVS Burning Down The House
5) EH Earendils Stern
6) Men Wear Pink
7) BWS Respect
8) ps Cordelia
9) MLA's Churchill
10) EH Don´t Kiss and Tell and ES der Rote Zora
We are holding a slightly different show this time. Again, the theme will be trying something new; this time, it is about lighting! Horses of all breeds, natural and unnatural, are welcome.
The show will be held outdoors and indoors from dusk to after sundown, and the weather will be inte