Red ScreamsSmiling at me, shiny silver teeth
Begging my wrist
For one chaste
Grinning at me, that evil smirk
Making my heart pound
So sharp so
I know I
And really I
Arm’s too full of blood
From attempts to
Join the stars.
Photo album of
My diary of my
I am still
Carry OnI like sharp things;Carry On in Free Verse More Like This
The way they shine
The way they hurt
The way they leave a red line.
I like to bleed;
The way it's red
They way it hurts
The way it washes out what they said.
I like to live;
The way it's wrong
The way it hurts
The way it tells me that I am strong.
What You WantMaybe you want them to noticeWhat You Want in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Maybe you want them to see
Maybe you want them to care about
How you’re lost and lonely me.
Maybe you want them to ask
Maybe you want them to know
Maybe you want them to care about
How your happiness is a show.
Maybe you want them to quiet
Maybe you want them to listen
Maybe you want them to care about
How your blood does glisten.
Maybe you want them to leave you
Maybe you want them to die
Maybe you want them to care about
How your life’s just a lie.
To BurnI want to set my skin on fireTo Burn in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
With Death’s icy embrace.
I want to make my head stop
And my broken heart race.
I want to fade into black
Like fog over the sea.
I want to save them the bother
Of worrying about me.
I want to bleed myself white
Until I really am just a shell.
I want to miss out on heaven
Just to escape this cursed hell.
I want to see her face again
So I can tell her my regret.
I want her face to leave me
So that I can maybe forget.
I want my friends to be happy
But I stop that from being so.
I want to lose all control
And let the red blood flow.
I want to leave this place
And abandon all breath.
I want to do something right
And that something is death.
Cut ItI’ve got so much to sayCut It in Free Verse More Like This
But not enough words to say it;
Perhaps I should scream it
Or cry it,
I should cut it.
Blood speaks so much louder than words,
Blades cry so much sharper
Pain screams so much softer
And it’s the only way I know how to talk
Even if it makes it hard to walk
For days after.
I think I’m going to hell,
Well, that’s just swell
Because ever since I fell
Pain’s all I’ve known anyway.
It’s like a blanket,
Hiding all the hate from view,
The shield between me and the monster,
The monster that is me.
Ever heard of freedom?
Yeah, so have I,
But I don’t know what it is
Only that I’ll never have it in breath
And the only key to my shackles
Chained and ShamedNobody gets it.Chained and Shamed in Free Verse More Like This
I don’t want saving,
I don’t want ”friends”;
I just want all ends
To be met in red.
I hate how plain my skin is,
How it should be painted;
I’m the addiction’s harlot,
I do as it must dictate
And when it tells me to seal my bloody fate;
I bloody well will.
I’m too full of blood,
I need to let some out.
But know this isn’t a shout
This is me coping
With how I’m hoping
Nobody’ll care when I go.
Cutting isn’t for attention;
It’s for a brief suspension
Of everything else.
It is mine and I’m its,
It doing as I want
And I its slave
Until there’s nothing left to save.
I don’t fear death
Half as much as I do breath.
Because I’d be lying
If I said dying
Wasn’t on my list of things to do today.
Cross My WristsCross my wrists and hope to die,Cross My Wrists in Free Verse More Like This
I will only ever lie
When you ask me if I’m fine
Or if I like this life of mine.
If I had a gun,
I’d put it to my head
And turn bouncy blonde,
Into ruby red.
You want me to stop cutting;
I’ll stop when I’m dead.
The last time I’ll cut
Will be the last thing I see
When I finally put an end to me.
Dying sounds good right now,
Just fading into black
And never coming back
To the agony living brings.
Perhaps you’ll find me hanging,
Or after OD’ing;
Someday soon you’ll find me,
It’s too late now,
I’m too far gone.
Now I’m just a ghost
Of who could’ve been someone.
Please (Don't) Hate MeIf I told you a liePlease (Don't) Hate Me in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
But it made you smile
Would it still be a sin?
If I opened the door
But turned you away
Would you still come in?
If I sliced my skin
But it didn't hurt
Would it still be wrong?
If I acted all brave
But couldn't face it
Would I still be strong?
If I tied my noose
Around a tree's open arms
Would it be an embrace?
If I left tonight
And begged you stay
Would you still give chase?
If I committed sin
But hurt nobody
Would I be welcome above?
If I do something you hate
But only for your good
Could it still be true love?
ThousandsI'm sixteen,Thousands in Free Verse More Like This
Doubt I'll see thirty
Hopefully my blade'll be dirty
And I'll die.
I don't want to die;
Just want it to stop,
Everything in my head
Telling me I'm better off dead.
I cut myself,
I said it.
Just read it.
I'm just some kid
Behind a screen,
So why should you care?
I'm not just 'some kid';
I'm the ones people laugh at,
I'm not a minority;
I'm a majority.
All those kids alone,
That death will come.
We're not hopeless.
We hope for
Falling. Alone?When will the rain stop falling?Falling. Alone? in Free Verse More Like This
When will the reaper stop calling?
Did I do something wrong?
I must have
To suffer for this long.
It's not like I didn't try,
And it's not like you did
But I never got to ask why
I just ran and hid.
'Honesty is the best policy'
That's what they say
But I doubt they know truth at all,
Being who they are today.
If I could, I'd wish it away
But I can't
So I'm alone today;
Meant to die here this way.
Things I'll Never SayThere are certain things I’ll never say,Things I'll Never Say in Free Verse More Like This
Like how I thought about killing myself today
Just to keep my own scary thoughts away.
Like how I stay awake way too late
To be sure I don’t awake in a bloody state.
Like how I soaked white into red last night
And turned myself into a ghastly sight.
Like how it hurts too much to breathe
When I make my own skin seethe.
Like how I Google things I shouldn’t
When I want to do things I couldn’t.
Like how I’m scared of being alone
Yet I’m only happy when I’m on my own.
Like how I know I’ll wind up killing myself
And turn into just a dusty photo on a dusty shelf.
Like how I make myself bleed every day
Even though I know I can’t go on this way.
Like how I maybe want someone to see
And for them to somehow help me.
But nobody will ever help me,
Because those are all the things I’ll never say.
No wander about it, just lust.You were a mid-morning train wreck,No wander about it, just lust. in Free Verse More Like This
the embodiment of poetry.
& my clavicles whispered too many nothings
about your summer storm hands,
folding like paper cranes
to make wishes upon themselves.
wishes are for the weak-
do something about this quaking heart
& freezing fingers.
I think I found God then,
fly.this is hard for the world around us to grasp:fly. in Free Verse More Like This
these wildfires raging in our retinas
& the sins we wear like demonic similes
on our tongues- they are not enough.
& i am so fucking sorry of saying i'm sorry.
but, tell me,
what is a young poet(ess) to do
with veins made of kite strings?
Sun Child,I am freezingSun Child, in Free Verse More Like This
& I am hungry
for fever’s lips-
her inky fingers
a dry stomach.
My body is an ocean,
my limbs, but oars.
My tongue & teeth,
a life raft
keeping this madness
from sinking into blue.
Offering up 102 degrees
You would think
I had something to say.
lub-dubThere are loverslub-dub in Free Verse More Like This
I will never be able to
crawl out from underneath;
I’m caving in, lungs
no longer able
to exhale lovely things.
However hollow, I’ve got
these artist hands,
these god hands of mine
that can save lives.
What’s the point
when I’ve got little
& no one can ever seem
to find my pulse?
Collection of poetic nothings.We were opal Tuesdays,Collection of poetic nothings. in Free Verse More Like This
tattooed into the
rose garden curve
of my vertebrae,
gliding me through this wild youth.
But, like Icarus—
I was a sky conqueror
& these silk wings
touched the sun.
My inhalations are heavy,
like the earth he bruises
beneath his fingertips
as I chase silence.
"You've got a tongue
made for words." He says
against the arrogant thorns
of my briar spine.
"Learn to love yourself."
How do I say I love you
without saying I love you?
"I want to replace my heart with you."
You are spider silk woven
into my harvest moon
limbs traveling this road map
of songbird sin.
You are not just in my head now,
you are dancing in the lingering stars
of my night-witch frame
& setting me on fire.
You're not bruised enough
to write poetry.
Allow these bones to tell your story, Love.
A lion among sheep.There are ghosts in my bloodstreamA lion among sheep. in Free Verse More Like This
kissing concrete cells &
the bedroom eyes of nerve endings.
( foreign words
engraved into my marrow, birds in my chest
& wars not yet fought between my hips. )
I've taken myself apart every night
since I learned how to swallow a pen
limb by steady limb.
Passed around by grabby hands,
a sold, & borrowed daughter;
I am a lion among sheep,
drunk on life & ink.
Shy moon,i've got love carved into honeysuckle wrists,Shy moon, in Free Verse More Like This
a murder of crows in my throat,
& a pack of wolves at my back.
i want to know truths behind these myth eyes, &
the distant galaxies under your fingertips.
but, love me. love me, Love.
show me what's beyond Grimm fairy tales
spare me your ribs;
this skyscraper heart
needs a place to go.
Dear Poetry,I might be dangerously on the verge of being poetic, but-Dear Poetry, in Free Verse More Like This
Sometimes I don't feel me in my own skin.
I am too many breaks between pulses,
& a heart still living in the autumn of 99.
I'm telling stories about a girl.
A soul made of ink & godly metaphors,
too much for a non-homeostatic body.
There were once fireflies in her smile,
alight between the gaps in her teeth.
love letters carved into wrists
she never sent.
She is Porphyria, & you are her lover.
I think you left a piece of you in me.This tangled mess you call a heart,I think you left a piece of you in me. in Free Verse More Like This
daisy veins & sin;
She's bringing me down.
& you were merely shivering
pressing winter bones
against my sun-stricken mouth,
darkness searching for a home
buried in my lungs.
You whispered breathe me
lovely in the inhale/exhale
of carbon dioxide suicide.
She speaks only of you now,
lonely & mourning beats-
Crack open this damn ribcage;
MessEverywhere I goMess in Free Verse More Like This
Every single place
The troubles seem to grow
Every smiling face
Eventually frowns with woe
Why can't I do
I just screw
Up everything despite
The happiness I try to spew
Is it me
Am I the source of this ache
Does the pain flow free
Is this what I make
Should I go away and hide
Never to see others
Or the outside
But would I stop another's
Pain and be the only one that ever cried
What is a life with no grey
When everyone is sad
I'd give it all away
It wouldn't be that bad
I would finally be able to say
I saved a life
cR a zYHer outbursts of deafening laughtercR a zY in Free Verse More Like This
Bounced and hurled around
Her 'special' white room
As she rocked back and forth
Hitting the soft pillow like walls
Making the sleeves of her too tight jacket
Move with a similar rhythmic motion
But what stood out the most were her eyes
Even though they sometimes were hidden
By her untamed mass of dirt brown hair
Her bright midnight blue eyes shine brightly
She did not see the white room
Nor did she feel the suffocating pressure of the room
Instead she saw and felt a soft field of green grass
And a little black kitten with amber eyes
That would bat at a delicate butterfly
That carried the starry sky upon its blue wings
She felt the cool spring breeze and gazed
At the quickly fading sunset
That sprouted colors you could never captured
Even she, herself knew that she was crazy
But she no longer cared
She no longer wished to try and grasp
The flimsy string that connected people to reality
And all that came with it
Despite that she was crazy
And no one wo
ListenCan you hear meListen in Free Verse More Like This
Listen to my cries
Feel my pain
See your neglect
Understand what you've put me through
Hear me roar
My anger bouncing off the wall
My sadness ringing in
Your deaf ears
Can't you hear me
Do you just not care
Listen to me
Don't walk away
I'm not finished
If only you'd hear me
If only I could make you see
Why won't you listen
Why don't you care
Do you not see the tears
You're the one that's made to care
It's your job
Why can't you just listen
Maybe you can't hear me
I'm just not loud enough
OC Meme1. Pick one of your OCs.OC Meme in Personal More Like This
Eric I choose you! :iconpokemonplz:
2. Fill in the questions/statements as if you were your OC.
3. Tag five people to do this meme! (Which I am too lazy to do :iconmingplz
4. Tell people that they've been tagged with a link from your journal.
1. What is your name?
Eric, what's it to ya?
2. Do you know why you were named that?
No damn clue
3. Are you single or taken?
I'm taken, shame ain't it?
4. Have any abilities or powers?
Unless emotional crap counts no
5. Stop being a Mary-sue!
Okay I'm not perfect and I'm not female.
6. What's your eye color?
7. How about hair color?
Some weird mutation of red, maroon I think.
8. Have you any family-members?
Toby and Rain are my family. Happy one at that.
9. Oh? How about pets?
Rain, she's such a sassy kitten.
10. That's cool, I guess. Now tell me something you don't like.
People, other than Toby of course, and Cynthia.
11. Do you have any activities/hobbies that you like to do?
I paint, I play piano when no
Different For a ReasonEver since I was young,Different For a Reason in Free Verse More Like This
I was the one,
At the back of the class
Different from the general mass
When I was bashed beyond repair
I never gave into despair
I told myself it'd be just fine
That I was special, not like those awful swine
I told myself I didn't care
What they said about me, but it wasn't fair
When their words still cut through me
Using my fists didn't help really
Little did I know
The people who ruined my childhood
Didn't have a decent future
Though now times still get rough
I am tough
Enough to survive
Not like the others who lived on other's pain
The thing that is insane
There are people who'll still break you down
But it'll be ok as long as you've found
Who you are
The Other Side of the GlassOn the other side I can see,The Other Side of the Glass in Free Verse More Like This
Happiness is waiting for me
I want it desperately
But everything has a fee
I knock on the glass that separates me
From the joy that I seek
Thinking someone would let me out
But as I continue to knock I begin to doubt
That they'll open the door
But that just makes me want the happiness more
And I bang on the glass till my hands are sore
I now am not miserable or
Happy, I'm lost but I have hope
You would think I'd give in to the darkness
But seeing the happiness
Brings light into the other side of the glass
KakashiNarutoKakashi in Personal More Like This
[x] You're stubborn.
[x] You like ramen.
[x] Are foxes your favourite animal (one of my favorites)
[ ] You're afraid of ghosts.
[ ] You're jealous of your best friend.
[x] Are you a hands-on kind of person
[ ] Do you have a crush on someone, who isn't interested in you
[x] You want people to respect you.
[/] You never give up.
[:iconmingplz:] Are you tan?
[:iconforeveraloneplz:] Do you make friends easily?
[ ] Were you born in October?
[/] Do you strive to reach your goals
[ ] You like the colour orange.
[/] You don't care about other people or their opinions.
[ ] Are you left handed
[x] You prefer being alone.
[/] Are you cold, cruel or withdrawn
[/] Are you talented
[/]Have you had to work on your social skills (been told to)
[x] Do you practice your skills
[x]Do you have a motive in your life that you live for (must get something published)
[x]Do you feel like you're cursed
[ ] Were you born in July
[:iconmingplz:] Are you popular
[ ] Do you have an older brot
I Will Go OnI will go onI Will Go On in Free Verse More Like This
Even though you're gone
My heart will grow back
Even though I lack
The very thing that helped me
Continue to live and let me see
The true worth
Of my life upon the cruel Earth
I promise when it appears
Even if I have to wait for years
I will get over you
Just like you want me to
As Tears Come To My EyesAs tears come to my eyesAs Tears Come To My Eyes in Free Verse More Like This
I try to block out everyone's lies
And I have to deny
That I will cry
Because it is easy
To smile at the sleazy
Rather then to explain why I'm sad
Or why I'm mad
I have no escape from my enemies
And each emotion I hide has a fee
The pressure of it all
Just makes me want to fall
Into the protective darkness
Rather than return to the heartless
And as tears come to my eyes
One more piece of me dies
WordsWords float on a thin lineWords in Free Verse More Like This
Some scurry through
My cloudy mind
Never to be caught only
Leaving their essence behind
Give me writings to where
People can sometimes find
What I mean
No matter what I do
I can never seem to convey
The emotion of my poem to
A person despite who they are
I even doubt you
Will get just what I mean
When I finish a poem I rue
Make the stupid poem
My own words
Are twisting and forming
Into a poem I didn't make
Sometimes I feel like crying
The frustration is so great
I keep writing
Otherwise I'll always
Be just scribbling
DeceptiveDeceptive in Haiku & Eastern More Like This
Tempting with beautiful wings;
-Chen Yuan Wen, 4th January 2013
Poetic Practice - Love Like AshPoetic Practice - Love Like Ash:Poetic Practice - Love Like Ash in Free Verse More Like This
Yes sir, he is clinging to insanity.
He remembers all the things he said, profanity.
Bare the shame on his naked old humanity.
He is the doll claiming love for his vanity-
When he woke up, desire!
He made a move like fire.
His whispers; a liar,
His heart snaps, like wire!
But what are you thinking of this man as I make him out?
Is it an image or a type that you seem to tout.
was it all his fault with no one else to blame,
Or were there cracks in the story that they both will claim-
Spit that and live that,
Hate when you love that!
You rip that and tear that,
Scream like you know that!
Stop for a moment and just listen to this silent cry,
Time has stopped now for both of us to say goodbye.
Both turning on these clocks, living lies that have stopped;
And when the love turns to ash, let the gloves be dropped...
- Chen Yuan Wen, 17th January 2013
Practice Poem - Man In CagePractice Poem - Man in Cage:Practice Poem - Man In Cage in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
When I was young I was taught that pain begets pain,
Anger and animosity, malice and cruelty;
So deeply inflicted, so lovingly gifted.
I tasted of its rotten core and dared to call it sweet.
But what do I have to show for it?
White hot scars that burn in my dreams.
Reminders of a fragmented bi-polar self;
Self inflicted propaganda, to reinforce the "truth".
Truth so lovingly fabricated by a weakness within,
So desperately crying out for vindication;
Openly denying all that might shed light upon me,
Seeking only the company of shades in shadows...
Within four walls I sleep in exile;
Quietly pretending that I am still sane,
Never noticing how it has all turned out;
Alone I remain the same...
Never reaching, never living; I am free within the cage
-Chen Yuan Wen, 1st January 2012
Memories of WarMemories of War:Memories of War in Songs & Lyrics More Like This
What is this long-lost memory inside?
Where oceans turn; what have we left behind
With star-burned wings out above the sky.
The sleeping sons are lovingly left to lie...
A thousand tears you've cried for all,
Now its time for you to fall!
Will you open up the door,
To the future we ignore?
Are you simply lying broken,
From the memory awoken;
Are you simply living lies,
Bitter taste with ropes you tie...
And the world will soon forget.
Fill my heart with this regret?
For the victims written in stone.
Unspoken sin you now atone...
Yeah I've seen this world where we livin' in pain,
Wrap my body round with chain.
Now we both know we be broken;
Give this man his smokin' token.
Held up guns with both his hands;
Not a boy he's cause he's a man.
Order comes by a suit and hand.
Will you flee or will you stand?
This is a memory of our war,
Of all the things that we can't ignore.
And staying blind to the cries of pain...
Will lonely ashes be what remai
These Tears Would Come:These Tears Would Come:These Tears Would Come: in Free Verse More Like This
If my tears could tell a story of two -
What would they have to say about you?
Of a boy who spent his whole life seeking
And a girl who found it in the arms of another…
Would they tell us of laughter? Beneath a starlit sky,
Or of harsh words exchanged on bitter nights.
Would they speak of moments, so beautifully captured;
To be enjoyed in memory, like a perfect wine.
Or perhaps they would tell us of an untampered truth:
Of the lonely nights spent longing, for an Eden lost.
Captivated, habituated, to this lonely habit of you;
For her alone, these tears would come.
-Chen Yuan Wen, 31st march 2013
The Real WritersThe Real Writers:The Real Writers in Free Verse More Like This
There are those who sit with their laptops and tablets,
Clothed in a scarf and an artistic hat of some sort.
They ponder; leaving a stack of books beside them,
Sipping their decaf as though they are literature personified.
What works do they prepare, other than blatant copies,
Perhaps a half-baked romance designed to woo a lady.
So convinced are they, of their own aptitude;
They are blinded by the beams of their burgeoning ego.
For the writer is not the man who is tapping away at keys,
He is not the man fervently reading with lensless glasses.
He is not the hipster debating ancient literature.
For he is a monster, wearing human skin.
He is the deranged madman, eccentric, uncanny.
He is the one who sits catatonic;
An entire world of fantasy playing in his mind.
He has gone through millions of scenes,
Thousands of scenarios, hundreds of plots
And dozens of characters.
He is not the man you expect him to be,
For a true writer is utterly WEIRD.
A Polished White SinkA Polished White Sink:A Polished White Sink in Free Verse More Like This
If I had to call this world a blessing;
I think I'd say 'I find it damn depressing.'
You might think I'm stupid from how I'm dressing,
But this is just the heart I feel like wearing.
I see street corners and absent youth;
Don't pretend you don't ever see the night.
Cause when it turns dark, the maggots start crawling;
Looks like God decided to shut out the light.
I can warm my hands on fire and watch the people go,
They don't know who I am, I just go with the flow.
I see streets that seem empty, clogged to the brink;
But that's the reality deep beneath the sink.
It looks clean on the outside, polished porcelain white,
But inside of the pipes are what you keep out of sight.
Yet they're already straining and distorted with strain;
Soon the flood water comes flowing, wash away with the rain.
-Unofficial release from Chen Yuan Wen, 8th April 2013
Practice Poem - Artistic FrustrationPractice Poem - Artistic Frustration:Practice Poem - Artistic Frustration in Free Verse More Like This
Wrong, wrong, wrong, WRONG!
Everything is wrong.
'As then sun dew drips from her eyes'-
Do I really think that'll be good enough?
Hours spent on each piece -
Punctuated only by sound of ripping paper -
To lie crumpled upon my wooden floor,
Unable to be forgotten.
As the hours pass and the day wears on,
More and more worlds are crushed by my hands.
Realities sprawled upon a single piece of paper,
To die as quickly as they are formed.
A man's whose romance is torn in two,
A vampire about to meet his prey.
A werewolf standing against an army
And a boy facing the world alone.
These are the lives that I hold in my hand;
Fictional lives, but precious still.
Yet as soon as I see their imperfections,
I destroy the evidence in a throe of shame.
These crumpled masses that now surround me,
They aren't the proof of perfection's pursuit...
They are merely my feeble, worthless attempts,
To disguise my own ineptitude.
-Chen Yuan Wen, 15th Decembe
CorvusCorvus:Corvus in Free Verse More Like This
Black feathers falling through the empty sky
A whisper upon the winds, better left unspoken
As a glimmer of sunlight catches my eye
I am drawn to the worms that writhe below
Each one pulses with the desire to live
endlessly tunneling through the sands of the earth
With nothing more for them to give
I'm afraid they are quickly eaten...
One, two, three and four
Each one swallowed by an open door
Five, six, seven, eight
They know not love nor petty hate
It makes me wonder if they feel this pain
of being consumed by the one they fear
They sprout and dance in the lovely rain
Not knowing of that which lurks so near
-Chen Yuan Wen, Experimental Release
The PoetThe Poet:The Poet in Free Verse More Like This
He smiles as he sees her sleeping
& gently covers her with a blanket.
He goes to the window and looks out
watching snow fall, ever so slowly...
He sees people in the streets,
Chatting, walking. Some happy,
Others sad. Hearts beating,
Hearts broken; some warm, some cold.
He looks back at her, as she stirs in bed.
A yawn from her, brings another smile to him:
"How cute," he chuckles as he strokes her head.
He runs his fingers through her hair and is content.
Yet, even if he is happy here, again -
He is drawn to that window and finds himself
Staring out at the street and watching;
Marveling at the disparity and wondering -
Isn't there something that I can do?
Isn't there a better way for us all?
He looks back at her, sleeping peacefully;
He thinks about the future and sighs.
He wants a better world for her,
One where she would always be safe,
But unfortunately, he has no power.
He is just one man with little to his name.
He picks up a piece of paper, one found lyin
Poor EyesBeautiful eyes that know nothing but lies,Poor Eyes in Free Verse More Like This
And the feeling to die a bit inside every day.
She knows it has to be this way,
But she still fights.
Look me in the eyes,
And say you would have the courage to do the same.
None of this came,
To her in one day,
It all had to build up over years and years and years.
Every few weeks a new fear would develop.
Perhaps of a person or an action.
She drew herself away from all things loving,
Shoving herself towards the even darker side of life.
This just made her fight even harder,
And made her see the worst in everything,
Now she's giving up.
She's lost the courage she's been forced to keep,
She weeps in pain but also in happiness,
For she knows it will all end soon,
And everything will become a memory.
Love To KillHe whispered in my ear, "Baby can I hug you around the neck?Love To Kill in Free Verse More Like This
Your eyes really brighten up when you cry,
Judging by the marks on your wrist you already want to die."
Trying to recover and stop loving you,
But my heart has a mind of its own,
And I can never find better then you.
"You deserve everything that's coming for you.
Everything you do makes me rageful,
I can barely stand to see you breathe.
Now blow me a kiss as you're on your knees."
Each bruise is a mistake, and truly made of love.
I know how his heart of stone really feels,
I just have to mine through the bitterness.
"You won't ever leave,
Don't you know what my dad did to me?
You won't be another heartbreak.
Now cover up your black eye and fake a smile."
His past has formed who he is,
All he needs to change his ways is love and a tender kiss,
We can get past this because true love actually exists.
"I'm sorry for the blood and broke promises,
I swear it won't be like before,
A flood of love,
Followed up by punches."
I trust hi
My Mind Part 2My mind is a powerful thing,My Mind Part 2 in Free Verse More Like This
Pulling me back from sanity.
Almost as powerful as this knife,
That yearns to end my life.
My mind is the reason behind,
Everything wrong with me.
From the person I've grown to be,
To the scars I've earned along the way.
But there's a dark place my mind adores to stay.
It lingers there for days,
And I can slowly feel myself drifting away.
But I no longer fight,
I no longer scream.
Only in my dreams is there true peace.
But I no longer fight,
I no longer scream,
For my life is not worth it.
ParadiseTwo weeks,Paradise in Free Verse More Like This
Three hundred thirty six hours,
Two hundred thousand one hundred sixty minutes,
One million two hundred thousand nine and six hundred thousand seconds...
The amount of time I've been away from paradise.
Goodbye Part 3New scars are formed on my wrist,Goodbye Part 3 in Free Verse More Like This
As I prepare to end this.
Although it has not been very long,
I know where I belong,
And it is not here with you.
I can not see anything I would be able to do,
To fix all of this.
life drains like the blood out my body
and memories flash and the the world comes to a crash
And soon before I know it I've ended as well as us
my soul cries as my body dies
And I do not bother to say goodbye
TrueThe words you said were true,True in Free Verse More Like This
And my newly made scars are too.
I'm not sure why I excepted you,
To be different from them all,
Because in the end you let me fall.
But it's a miracle I've grown to need no one.
The mistakes I've made can not be undone,
And it's a shame that the next one will be permanent.
Let Me InLet me in as if I was a drug,Let Me In in Free Verse More Like This
Changing what you love.
Effecting what you see,
Inject me as if I was a drug,
Controlling what you love.
Taking the innocence from your eyes,
And feeding you lies.
Breath me in as if I was a drug,
Destroying what you love.
Messing with your fragile mind,
And the sanity you yearn to find.
Snort me as if I was a drug,
Killing what you love.
Taking your pitiful life,
While you cannot put up a fight.
Alice Created Her Ow WonderlandShe fell down into the ground,Alice Created Her Ow Wonderland in Free Verse More Like This
Without a sound being made.
Hundreds of shades and new perspectives,
Flash by her very own eyes,
She is forced to say goodbye,
To the humdrum life she knew too well.
Her new friends such as the mad man attempt to make her time swell.
Taking her hand, they travel this world.
Meeting others, seeing the wonders, quarrels.
Throw a fragile teacup,
But later picking up,
The pieces and dragging them across her skin.
It seems as if the demons will win,
For they are controlled by the queen.
The mad man holding his bunny leans,
On beautiful Alice and causing so much more.
On the rabbit's clock time passes,
At his own pace of his mind.
After walking the land Alice has manged to find,
The caterpillar getting as high as the sky.
He reaches out for Alice handing the top of the bong over,
Alice takes it willingly getting a taste of the past for what seems like forever,
But in an obscure reality,
Is only hours.
The queen abusing her powers,
Causing pain to others,
God of SuicideGod of Suicide:God of Suicide in Free Verse More Like This
You have trapped me in a nightmare,
Which there is no allowance for awake.
But it all turns out to be fair,
Due to all nails and a stake,
I've managed to receive.
Each thud of the hammer and each gash tells a different story.
I will just lay here and prepare my casket.
All of the lies and secrets stored in the closet,
Will come flying out and maybe my followers will find where to fit,
After years of hiding,
And secretly dying.
Death is the beautiful obscure truth,
And life is just the the hideous lie.
These darkened dreams you call sick sooth,
Us and is how we get by.
I will just lay here and prepare my casket.
All of the lies and secrets stored in the closet,
Will come flying out and maybe my followers will find where to fit,
After years of hiding,
And secretly dying.
The scars and memories,
Are so beautiful in our eyes.
Each one helps us breathe.
And when we die at least we will have a mind,
Not a brainwashed brain and bloodshot eyes.
I will just lay here and prepare
IntruderDo you remember when you were an intruder?Intruder in Free Verse More Like This
When I attempted to banish you?
I did not have a clue that you were a part of me.
Eventually I gave up and let things be.
I no longer drown in you, I've learned how to swim,
I struggle to keep my head above the waves.
Before I knew it gradually I became your slave,
But I no longer fight for freedom.
Over time I have grown fond of you,
And no matter what I try to do,
I cannot survive without you and this hell.
You've grown to be my psychotic friend,
To the brutal end that is closer than before.
My smileMy smile was once so easy,My smile in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
a thing of joy and pride,
but over these years of darkness,
the ease has slowly died.
I find it's no longer truth,
but simply a lying mask.
It hides away the misery,
the hauntings of my past.
I refuse to look at pictures.
I see what others ignore.
The uneasiness of my smile.
How it has turned into a chore.
Will I ever truly smile,
with joy, pride, and truth,
or will I never know a smile?
Will it die with the rest of my youth?
Please, i wish to laugh,
to smile without a care,
but I'm not good enough for this,
and I guess that is fair.
Won't Give InI'm getting weak,Won't Give In in Concrete Poetry More Like This
can't find the light.
Too tired to try,
Too tired to fight.
I want to give in,
let my grip slip,
start the fall,
let myself trip.
But I can't let go.
I need to stay here.
Despite all the hardships,
despite all my fear.
I'll keep going.
I won't give in.
Though I feel like dying,
though my chances are grim.
So say hello to me,
this act I put on,
till my time comes,
till God says I'm done.
I Met MeToday I met a girl,I Met Me in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
and she asked, "How are you?"
"Just fine," I replied.
She said, "No, tell me what's true."
Perplexed, I stopped and stared.
She was young, no older than eight.
Her eyes were still innocent.
They knew no hate.
"What did you say?"
I asked in confusion.
"You know what I mean," she said.
This girl was in a delusion.
Trying to be kind,I replied,
"No I do not."
She frowned and replied,
"You lie quite a lot."
Now I was agitated.
What does this girl know?
Acting like she's so intelligent.
I'll just tell her to go.
"Let me explain!"
She exclaimed in haste.
"I know you're not alright.
I know you feel misplaced."
How in the world?
Who is this little girl?
"But I'm here to say you'll be alright.
Though your friends will leave,
leave you feeling alone and cold,
you'll find a reprieve."
"So just stay strong
because I know you can do it."
How? Who are you?
I wished she would quit.
Suddenly it was silent,
and I turned to see,
but there was no one there at al
I LiedCheated, betrayed,I Lied in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
that's what I've done to you
I should've cried, should've stayed,
I understand if we're through.
The truth was right there,
in the back of my mind.
You might've even cared,
comforted me, been kind,
but I was so scared,
how could I say the truth?
I have never dared
to tell the horrors of my youth.
So I locked them up tight,
told another lie.
I did what was right,
though it urges me to cry.
You don't need to know,
the memories are for me.
I wish I could let them go,
just let someone see,
but they're my curse,
so leave me be,
until my ride in the hearse,
the death of me.
With YouHold me tight,With You in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Please don't go.
I'm falling apart,
falling down so low.
Like a rag doll I'm tearing,
seams falling apart.
I can't sew them back up,
wouldn't know where to start.
I need your help,
but I'm too scared to say,
too scared to reach out,
tell you to stay.
You're my only hope,
like it or not.
My chances are slim,
but I'll give it a shot.
So hold me up,
don't let me fall,
just tell me it's okay,
answer my call.
That's all you need to do,
and I'll be alright.
With you by my side,
I'll stand up and fight.
My Little FlameO little flame,My Little Flame in Free Verse More Like This
you once burned so free.
You were bright and warm,
so comforting to me.
But now you wither and cool,
soon to go out.
I hope to restore you,
but my heart's filled with doubt.
I don't have the energy.
I don't have the drive.
I'm sorry little flame.
I can't keep you alive.
And without you, my fire,
there's really no hope for me,
but this was always inevitable,
always so plain to see.
O, flame, I wish it were different.
I wish you could live on,
but it's too late now.
Our time together is gone.
So good bye lovely flame.
Thank you for your time.
I'm glad that for a moment
you were only mine,
and as I watch you fade away,
I can feel myself going dim.
Already I am nothing.
I can't live without him.
My flame was my last hope,
so now I say good bye.
I have no reason to live,
and I wish very much to die.
Pretty Blue PillsPretty blue pills,Pretty Blue Pills in Free Verse More Like This
shiny in my palm,
the ticket to my peace,
to my eternal calm.
They're so perfectly round,
and soon they'll be in me.
The closest to perfect
that I'll ever be.
They go down so smooth.
Five, ten, fifteen and twenty.
Soon I'll be gone.
Twenty-five and Thirty.
That should be enough,
but I'll play it safe.
Thirty-five and forty.
Now I have no more to take.
The bottle is empty,
as empty as I feel.
None of this is happening,
too good to be real.
But soon I start to drift
into a dark unknown fog.
Somewhere quite distantly.
I hear a muffled sob.
But I blow it off as fake.
Nobody could possibly care.
I doubt anyone's noticed
that I'm no longer there.
But then I hear my name,
just a distant call.
I feel myself lift higher.
No! I want to fall!
I ignore the voice in earnest,
but it's calling me up, up, up.
Please let me be.
That life was too tough.
I like this fog,
this numbing haze,
free from the ridicule,
from the judging gaze.
But inevitably I come up,
eyes open so slight.
Hurts Like HeavenOh. My.Hurts Like Heaven in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
God, it hurts like heaven;
Longing for all your affection,
Every bit of your attention,
You're a divine intervention.
In this life that's turned to hell.
I can't help it when I reminisce,
In moments that are just like this,
I remember when we had our kiss,
And now how much I really miss,
The times when we weren't separated,
Were the best memories that I've created,
To reunite is long awaited,
I feel like I'm incarcerated,
In my own personal hell.
I can't help it when I think of you...
I hope one day we'll say "I do."
But for now I have to struggle through,
Until the day I get to you...
It won't be long, love, I know we'll be fine...
So, darling, stay strong and keep your hand held in mine...
I'll never let you go and I'll always make amends...
I'll hold on to you forever, or until forever ends...
If Ever I Lost YouWhat weighs on your mind?If Ever I Lost You in Free Verse More Like This
What's taking up your time?
You tell me not to worry and you swear you're really fine
Please open up to me
Tell me of your fears
You know I'll kiss the scars and I'll wipe away your tears
Don't keep it to yourself
You know you're not alone
I couldn't live my life without you ever coming home
I'd be so lost inside
I wouldn't recognize
The person that I see in the reflection of your eyes
Just tell me you're okay, and that you love me too
I don't know what I'd do
If ever I lost you…
Wonder.Do you fear your own death?Wonder. in Free Verse More Like This
Is it hard to conceive?
Draw in your last breath, then-
Your last breath will leave.
Isn't it strange to think,
That there's a timer above your head?
A countdown you can't see,
That finishes when you're dead.
Don't you ever wonder,
What it'll be like when you're gone?
I bet the world will keep on spinning.
There will be another dawn.
But the harsh reality behind it-
We're all going to die.
There's no reason to try to fight it
Not even to question why.
It makes me wish that I could have a little more to give,
Because I'm not afraid of how I'll die...
I'm afraid of how I'll
'Goodbye' Isn't Always...You don't know my secret pain'Goodbye' Isn't Always... in Free Verse More Like This
The pain I hide from every day
Every smile fades away
Etched in every word I say
But to you I seem okay
Well, that's just on the surface
Nothing about me is perfect
It's safe to say that I'm worthless
I've got no plan nor a purpose
And I can't begin to explain how it feels to be ignored
By the ones you love, by the ones that you care for
It hurts more than you could ever imagine
And I'm not having this anymore
You burrow under my skin when you assume that I'm okay
That I've never had to deal with any sort of real pain
I've been through more than you could ever forget
This experience alone is solely my one regret
I don't know if you've noticed but I've had it up to here
There is just one more thing I want to make perfectly clear
This is not something I ever wanted do
But you're forcing my hand; it's something I have to
Just please, promise to remember my goodbye
Is more than just that, it's much more than what you knew
It's just a painful way for me to say
Somebody Lie To MeNobody tries to beSomebody Lie To Me in Free Verse More Like This
The one who is there
Somebody lie to me
And tell me you care
Make me believe
That I'm not on my own
Feed me deceit
Please don't leave me alone
Say these things even though we know
Somebody lie to me
And tell me I'm fine
Nobody tries to be
The one I'd call mine
Fed me deceit
But I believed every word
Made me believe
That you're really my world
(Make me believe...)
(Somebody's lied to me...)
(Fed me your deceit...)
(Nobody tries to be...)
To Be NumbI gaze through the glassTo Be Numb in Free Verse More Like This
To the last rays of light
And the long shadows cast
As dusk turns into night
Hands cling to the chain link
Still struggle to stand
I know what you may think
And I know what I am
A broken man
Still stealing these breaths
Because I can
I tried to hold on
If not but for your sake
But you walked away
Left my heart here to ache
Now it just
It's this feeling inside me
And my heart is its keep
It's a feeling that
Is known only to some
Not everyone knows
What it's like to be numb...
Do Not OpenA field of wilted flowers growing darker by the hourDo Not Open in Free Verse More Like This
Clouds of grey have come to play
Pouring acid like it’s rain
It burns right through my skin to bone
And shows me what I’ve always known
Atop a hill a lonely tree wrapped in a fog of misery
A tire swing, abandoned toys, not even a single noise
With a crying breeze and dying leaves; I can’t feel
Can hardly breathe
Yet here I am; this is me
This is who I try to hide
I should come with a warning sign
Do Not Open: Dead Inside.
Missing Pieces.I am a missing piece. Something that someone needs.Missing Pieces. in Visual & Found Poetry More Like This
But at the same time, I feel so incomplete.
I’ve wandered way too far, wondered for far too long
Am I a missing piece? Or a piece that won’t belong?
Is it possible I’m damaged and not missing at all?
That I’m just as dysfunctional as everybody else?
Pretending to be perfect never softened a single fall.
But neither did admitting that you’re broken and flawed.
A broken missing piece. Is that all I’m meant to be?
There is no master plan that includes the likes of me.
Being all alone, it’s a hurt that will not cease.
A hundred thousand years from now
I’ll still be
Mimicrymildewed [ghosts]Mimicry in Concrete Poetry More Like This
haunt the c.r.a.c.k.s in the w do not
l their voices
When I woke up [UPDATED]i woke up curled up on my front porch at 2 a.m.When I woke up [UPDATED] in Personal More Like This
tried the front door, unlocked, crawled into bed
wondered this morning if it was all a dream
but there were still footprints from the snowmelt on my carpet
and my leggings were soaked to the knee
and the snow had been disturbed out front.
i haven't the foggiest idea what happened.
EDIT 3 march 2013
slept over at k's house friday night
woke up the next morning in her bed two stories up
i don't even know
Lesson learnedShe fell first, and scraped herself up on impact.Lesson learned in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
By the time you were ready to let to and trust that she would catch you,
she was no longer there.
She picked herself up, dusted herself off, and moved the fuck on,
because she's stronger than you.
And you were left holding the pieces when you hit the ground.
21 august 2011fat ugly fat fat worthless useless stupid can't do anything right fat fatter fattest you're the fattest in the room everyone knows it too polite to say so elephant in the room surprise! it's you don't blink won't shrink you've expanded again21 august 2011 in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
stupid ugly ropy scars too long too wide too straight too many plain as day screaming CUTTER! everyone can cope but you something broken something missing inc incom incomplete friday need it no place no time no blade desperate desperate bone deep achey sick all wrong fix it in red red ink paperclip? no fingernails? no safety pin? not good enough sharp enough carve enough away can't find red ink roadmap only angry scratch scratch scratches don't hurt enough to help
letter letter need help letter can't do this anymore go back back to cutting starving purging running days on end wired on empty sharp mind sharp blades it all blends together
oh god help me
december 2010i am not hungry. i am not hungry. no breakfast. no lunch. no snack. no dinner. zero zero zerodecember 2010 in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
i am not hungry. i am not hungry. food is bad. i don't need to eat. i don't need to eat. i don't
i am not hungry. i am not hungry. need to eat. i don't need to eat. i don't need to eat. i don't
i am not hungry. i am not hungry. need to eat. i don't need to eat. i don't need to eat. i don't
i am not hungry. i am not hungry. need to eat. i don't need to eat. i don't need to eat. i don't.
i am not hungry. i am not hungry. must not eat. will not eat. cannot eat. do not eat.
resolution for today: i will not eat.
spring 2011:idiot:disgusting:fat:dumb:imbecile:weak:child:bitch:freak:spring 2011 in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
1:30a.m. breathe.in.breathe.out. quietquietscratchypencilpaper [close your eyes]
don'tthinkaboutschooltomorrowtodayfivehours breathe.in &breathe.out.
strong strong strong strong strong strong strong strong strong strong
i will not be the person she told me i was not weak stronger than you
[just stay strong] have faith magic.words say them enough.times and i can fly
that's right hidefromthevoices can't tell me it's not true
blood on my sleeve talking to yourselfmyselfsomeonenotquitehere [am i crazy?]
1 altoid + 1 stick sugarfree gum = 3 + 5 = 8 good girl good girl
good grief OCDmuch? no wonder theycantell? hate you
get out of here now
In the interest of full disclosurei am not the person you thinkIn the interest of full disclosure in Letters More Like This
and you will realize that all too soon.
i am not what people have built me up to be
and i am destroying myself in trying to measure up.
i am not interesting.
if i were a puzzle, all of my pieces
would be careworn with age and wear
colors dull and muted--
a picture prosaically familiar;
there is nothing pretty to look at here.
i am not beautiful. i am not the kind of person
that they write about,
stories and poems that make you cry.
i am not strange enough to be special,
but i am not normal enough to fit in.
i am not fragile enough to engender support,
but i am not strong enough to help myself
let alone those who are foolish enough to rely on me.
i am not a delicate collectible
that people wish to adopt
and call my problems their own.
i am a dusty cliché
that has seen better days.
let me be clear:
i am none of these things.
i am not.
Love is a DiesiesI am a mad-man, nothing more,Love is a Diesies in Free Verse More Like This
Who is too foolish to turn away.
Who dares to knock on the forbidden door,
Who doesn't understand why he decays.
A mad-man who does not understand
The grief the diesies brings.
Who grabs his untrusting loved ones hand,
Who answers when the Grimm Reaper rings.
No medications can cure the illness
Of those infected by the diesies.
For love brings no relief besides numbness
As it fullfils its deadly deeds.
Drowning, suffocating, undeniable death
Is what comes to those who are ill.
Who curse their foolish desires to love
Who try to reclimb but fall to Life's Hill.
I pity thee who falls so easily
Under death's taunting spell.
So maybe I am a fool to love thee so openly,
But I do so anyways, even if it means my
The Slaughtered Children.Why? Why? They were children! Children! How could someone strip a child, multiple children, of their innocence! How could someone strip them of life?The Slaughtered Children. in Free Verse More Like This
Children are one of the few good things in life. Always learning, not dispicable liars or haters or cheaters like the majority of adults, not able to commit horrendous crimes, not aware of the greater scheme of life going on around them. Believer's they are. In a child's mind, the characters of stories such as Santa Clause and the Easter Bunny are alive. Magic is real and all around us, commanded and cast by the fairies who were blessed by the mighty kings and queens from far far away. In a childs dream, there is no deception, no hatred, no confusion. There is only light and happiness and love, and their imagination is never as strong as it if in childhood.
It is for those reasons, and many more, why I believe children should be treasured. For their beautifully bliss minds and perfectly balanced ignorance. For their imagination, raw and i
Jump for OblivionI stare down at the road below,Jump for Oblivion in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
people like ants in comparrison to me.
So sick and tired of being called a hero,
Where no one can believe my plea.
I wander this world,
feeling so thin and numb.
The twister of life that continues to swirled and whirled,
making me look like a piece of scum.
So I stare down at the distance,
Ready to jump.
Ready to fade from exsistance,
Able to fade like a passing goosebump.
I pull up a mental image of my family,
My mommy and daddy and sweet siblings.
Able to dissapear so eerily
Ready to start a new ending.
I look up at the moon, saying goodbye one last time,
As I gather my courage.
Ready to commit the ultimate, yet most innocent, crime,
And I finally jump into the world, out of my cage,
RebellionWe are not afraid of you,Rebellion in Free Verse More Like This
How could we possibly be?
Afraid of all the things you do?
You'll just have to wait and see.
For we will not tire
Until you are dead.
For only blood will quench our boiling fire
When we finally have your head.
A fool you are to underestimate us,
As we pop all of your hot air.
We swear to always make a big fuss,
as long as you question us; if you dare.
We will think of you as we destroy
All through the long, glourious night.
You can trust that we all will enjoy
the giant, hard-won fight.
We hold our heads high with certainty,
As we battle for what is right.
And we celebrate as if we possess immortality,
And we fight and will always fight until the morning light.
Staying StrongIt's hard to stay strong,Staying Strong in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
when you always seems to
Ocean of the DeadSurfing over the waves of the oceanOcean of the Dead in Free Verse More Like This
Floating in the dead, cold sea
Alive in my tide of emotions
Searching for a way to be.
My heart goes out with longing
As the waves lapse over my soul
Begging for a sense of belonging
But knowing that I will never be whole.
I am like a Zombie
Wandering, meaningless without ho[e
My story is nothing but an endless lie
My lifeline going down a bottomless slope.
I am dead, understand,
Floating in the depths of the cold
Drowning under the weight of society's demands
And now there is nothing to do except watch me
Cry, and die,
and let my story go unforgotten,
Just Be YouThey tell you to be braveJust Be You in Free Verse More Like This
They never tell you to be
They never say
They never say
LessonsMy mama taught me to love othersLessons in Free Verse More Like This
In hope that others would love me.
But one thing she forgot to teach
Was that love isn't always meant to be.
My father taught me to be strong,
Strong as an iron fist.
But he never taught me strength doesn't last for long,
How to deal with fear when it is taken by the mist.
My teachers taught me to be smart
To try and understand the mysteries of life.
But they never taught me how to deal with fear,
How to turn and run faster than a thrown knife.
My friends taught me to smile
How to laugh and play and be free.
But they never taught me how to fight off the darkness,
How to conquer and kill the Killer of Glee.
My husband taught me to be loyal
because loyalty is all there can be.
But he never taught me how to fight the temptations,
How to avoid the fruit on that forbidden tree.
My lost child taught me the song of sorrow,
the never ending chasm of sadness and pain.
That lost child taught me to pretend to smile,
To force myself to dance in the bitter, acid rai
Dead, Inside and OutI scream, but nobody hearsDead, Inside and Out in Free Verse More Like This
I cry, but nobody cares
I look, but I do not find
I try, but I do not die
I wake, but I never really sleep
I eat, but I never really taste
I long, but I never really know
I try to stay, but it is time to go
I slumber, but I do not wake
I crack, but I do not break
I gasp, but I do not breath
I swallow, but I do not sneeze
I am floating, through the pale air
I am moving, though I do not care
I am strangled with tears, yet I do not pout
I am dead, inside and out.
I Am A...I am a survivorI Am A... in Free Verse More Like This
Because I wish to survive.
I am a dreamer
Because dreams are my break from reality.
I am a lover
Because I yearn to love.
I am a seeker
Because I will seek for my joy.
I am an observer
Because I can observe my enemies,
and know the score.
I am a killer
Because I kill to save others.
I am a hunter
Because I will hunt for truth and lies.
I am a decider
Because I can decide if I can trust you.
I am a teacher
Because I teach the future.
I am a student
Because I still learn.
I am a fighter
Because I do not believe in surrender.
I am a hater
Because the world dispises my spirit
and wants to bring me down.
I am a rebel
Because when the world spits in my face,
I will spit back.
I am a leader
Because I refuse to break down.
I am a wise one
Because wise one's understand lies.
I am a child
Because I can still laugh at other's stupidity.
I am an adult
Because I can put up with you.
I am innocent
Because my heart throbs with ignorance.
I am robbed
Because I still feel the pain.
The MonsterI can't trust;The Monster in Free Verse More Like This
I can't love you.
I'm not strong enough;
It has invaded me.
Has been destroyed,
And taken over by something that isn't human.
It has to be something else;
It has to.
I wouldn't cut myself.
I wouldn't hate myself,
Or starve myself,
Or lose myself in a sea of hatred,
Butterfly ScreamsIt's fun,Butterfly Screams in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Watching me bleed?
Ignoring my needs?
Destroying who I am,
And all I'll ever be.
But you wouldn't stop,
That I can see.
The butterflies in my stomach,
Scream as the hurtful words
Pin them to corkboard.
I'll cut myself,
I'm gonna lay down,
And hear the butterflies scream.
"Don't even worry."
"I'm perfectly fine."
Words are sandpaper,
And a couple of lies.
So while I'm here,
Down on the floor;
Do your worst,
Your worst and more.
So I'll lay down,
Even when I'm gone,
The butterflies will still scream.
SuicideI'm not okay.Suicide in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
I'm not "free."
I'm not the me,
You think to be me.
I'm falling up,
Into a beautiful sky of blood.
All of it's mine,
Leaving my body,
In a torrential flood.
I want to leave,
Pop those pills.
In roaming the rolling hills.
I want my canvas,
Of blood and skin.
I want my body destroyed,
To commit that beautiful sin.
I want the pain,
The poison and death.
I want that exhilaration,
And loss of breath.
I want to die,
And go away.
So I shall take my life,
We Regret To Inform YouDear Claire,We Regret To Inform You in Emotional More Like This
We regret to inform you that as of 10:48, Thursday, 21 of March, your grandmother has passed away.
We regret to inform you that your application to University of Georgia School of Veterinary Science and Medicine has been rejected.
We regret to inform you that everything you've ever loved has slipped through your fingers and there is nothing you can do about it.
We regret to inform you that you are nothing and will never be anything more than a pathetic piece of dust that clings to those who are better than you.
We do not regret to inform you that you are suicidal, depressing, depressive, insane, bipolar, have no friends, and will never ever be anything else.
From the deepest pit of our destroyed, shared soul, l
Imminent NightmareI cower in fear.Imminent Nightmare in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Has no place here.
It has no eyes,
But it still sees.
And now it's unsights,
Are set on me.
I am afraid,
But I can't let it show.
This hellion gets off on it,
I once was a Nightmare.
I spread hatred and terror,
I sprang up in your head,
Made you wish you were dead.
Then as soon as the damage was done,
And the words were said,
You trusted me,
And I failed.
So now here's my price.
I screwed over you all,
Now I must give my life.
I wish I could say I was innocent.
But I can't.
So the descent of this Nightmare,
My FallIt's easier to fall,My Fall in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
To just let go.
That much is true,
That much I know.
I just want to die,
And die without regret.
Learn from my mistakes,
But still forget.
I want freedom,
I want to fly.
I don't want to live,
I want to die.
I'm lying in the ground,
I'm rolling around,
I've slit my wrists,
I'm falling up.
My blood pours,
In an empty cup.
A face appears,
To welcome me home.
I've slit my wrists,
Because they left me alone.
Do You?Every scar tells a story...Do You? in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
A cross for the time I doubted God,
Four down the middle,
Because three was odd.
One for the insults,
And how my heart breaks.
Seven for the time he was ripped away.
Eight for the time you left me alone,
Six for the time,
I lost my home.
My scars talk.
And you listen.
But you don't hear.
You don't hear,
My doubts and fears.
My insecurities and confusion,
They do not exist in your illusion.
I have been ripped away from what I need.
And what I need,
Is to grieve,
My scars tell a story.
I have a reason for what I do.
My scars tell a story.
But you don't hear,
How Mommy Loves MeI hope that you like me.How Mommy Loves Me in Concrete Poetry More Like This
I tryed so hard to impress.
I have impeccable hair,
And not a spot on my dress.
I have a soft rosy glow,
And hair white as snow.
I made myself pretty,
And I didn't eat.
What more do you want?
Should I use my hair to wash your feet?
I tried so hard to make this day great.
But as soon as you showed,
I fell on my face.
How do I look?
Tell me the truth.
Are you proud of me?
How can I make you?
Please don't cry.
I don't want to get hit.
Mommy, I'm sorry.
I guess I deserve what I get.
My Voice Is DyingI'm fighting a voiceMy Voice Is Dying in Concrete Poetry More Like This
Inside my own head.
The voice tells me that I'd be better off dead.
I can be happy dead.
The thought elates me,
But fills me with dread.
I'll leave behind all I've known.
My family, my friends, their love, my home.
Could Death save me?
Can Death be the space
That welcomes my sea?
Can Death be my friend?
Can she welcome me in?
Is the voice inside my head lying?
I can't tell.
She and I are dying.
Dear ClaireDear Claire,Dear Claire in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
I'm sick of the happiness,
And the smiles.
I'm sick of your laughter;
It's been going on for a while.
Where are the tears?
I miss the despair.
I like you depressed,
Because that's when you're Claire.
I think you should change,
Because I said so.
You're not happy,
You and I both know.
So start crying,
And slit your wrists.
That pain you've missed.
We're only here for you;
Don't you feel good now?
Yes, you do.
We can tell you how.
C'mon, you can do it.
Give in to the despair.
We do it for you.