Happy MemoriesHappy Memories:Happy Memories in Free Verse More Like This
We live in moments
Recorded as memories
Happy in the past
-Chen Yuan Wen, 9th April 2012
An Oath to My FatherAn Oath to My Father in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
An Oath to My Father:
The chill of winter is nothing, when compared to the cold inside my heart.
A fire, once stoked by the warmth of family, has quietly died, five falls past.
I dream of my father, who watches from beyond the realms - and my ancestors
Who fought against an endless army of giants, to win the lands we have today.
Just as a devout man honours his God through worship, I honour them through my axe!
Each stroke of the whetstone, each screech of the metal, brings me closer to them -
Even as I draw closer to my doom. Oh how I can feel him, for the anger in my blood
Boils evermore as I sense him approaching my camp. He is hungry, he is eager;
Slacks of drool hang from his twin mouths, as a jarring roar shakes the mountain!
Though I shiver at the sight, it is not from fear - I shiver in anticipation
Of the battle that is to come. My steel may rend his flesh and break his bones;
Or perhaps I shall be sent to glory - but it is useless to think about such things,
Bringer of the NightBringer of the Night:Bringer of the Night in Free Verse More Like This
Born from the kiss of a goddess
And drenched in the cauldron of lies.
He emerged as a being of entropy
Bearing the mark of flies...
His wings were made from crow-like feathers
Black as the dust of the night.
His fangs were laden with horrid infection
Made from the stone of blight.
A single bite, was poison enough
And soon they began to change...
The children loved by the lady in white
Soon they became deranged.
Powerful beings of might and magic
They soared through the moonlit sky!
They flew amongst the twinkling stars
But their gift was a burning lie...
Falling to the ground like choking insects
Crawling in the dirt with a painful thirst.
These creatures needed the taste of blood
And their friends would be the first.
Neighbours, comrades, it mattered not!
Survival become an instinctive drive.
To bite and feed was a natural feeling
And horror came when night arrived.
Men or women, children who slept;
Through windows and doors they would slithe
She Waits For MeShe Waits For Me:She Waits For Me in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Her touch is mercilessly chilling
When she appears inside my room
I can hear her gibbering softly
As she mutters words of doom
The lady pushing the brink of delusion
I am cornered to the edge of my waning sanity!
I shatter mirrors and reflective surfaces
To preserve some sense of humanity
Yet they say my delirium is a mere illusion...
Ha! They judge the things that they cannot see
She comes to me in depths of the night
Because she knows I cannot flee
Do you know the feeling of waking up
With her grinning face before me?
Rotting teeth and swollen flesh;
It would be better not to see!
But tonight I shall end this worthless pain
With a single act, let it all be done
I will burn my eyes and cast them out
For our game has just begun...
"Come spirit, let us end this you and I..."
-Chen Yuan Wen, 7th July 2012
Shards of MeShards of Me:Shards of Me in Free Verse More Like This
My weeping sorrows
Like shards of a lonely heart
-Chen Yuan Wen, 22nd April 2012
Blue EyesBlue Eyes:Blue Eyes in Free Verse More Like This
A man once told me that blue eyes were best
So I decided I would put these words to a test.
I ran across the globe and found a blue eyed fish
It tasted very tasty when served as a dish
I then went to Ireland to find a blue eyed gnome
Instead I got a Lephrechaun whose name was 'Jerome'
I used him as bait to catch some blue eyed mice
I suppose he now regrets that he lost at dice...
I then used the mice to catch a blue eyed cat
I then used the cat to catch a blue eyed dog
I then used the dog to catch a blue eyed witch
I think I left that one down in a ditch...
In any case...
I returned back home to my quaint boulevard
Where some band named 'Greenday' was out in the yard
I asked the singer what he thought of eyes
But all he muttered was 'cakes are lies...'
Feeling quite unsure about the blue eyed theory
I decided to talk to my friend named Mary
She had a cute face and her eyes were green
So I told her those were the best I'd seen
She invited me home for Coff
A World of BloodA World of Blood:A World of Blood in Free Verse More Like This
The spirits whisper on a chilling wind
As the blood continues to flow.
I can hear the demons screaming within
As the darkness continues to grow...
Humankind will always be foolish;
Rash decisions are an instinctive need.
But how could they have forgotten our ways;
Tradition is lost to greed...
The zealous will kill the innocent again
As the greedy play out a game of chess.
A book of gods becomes a creed;
It is a ragged shell at best...
My sisters die in the tens of hundreds
And innocent girls are slaughtered like swine.
I'm afraid that in this dying world;
The God of Blood shall dine...
The blind shall follow in his burning steps;
They will see within him a flame and fire.
And he knows that the hearts of passionate men
Are easily laced with glorious desire...
In dreams he calls and grants them strength
He sends his 'angels' to enchant the night.
He turns the blind into seeing creatures
And robs them of the light...
But it is h
Sensual TortureSensual Torture:Sensual Torture in Free Verse More Like This
You are but a simple pawn;
Caught in a maelstrom of ill feelings and turmoil.
You were not meant to be here -
But unfortunately, here you are my friend...
Now then, I do not wish to drag this out;
There is no purpose in badgering someone who knows so little.
However - without your confession - I'm afraid that
I would not know whom I should share my - pleasures with...
Though I'm certain that you will be sharing plenty...
Of course, it will probably be a poor idea to make you scream,
At least not while I'm still enjoying your fear.
Instead we'll begin with a simple agony;
A quick taste of your pain to whet my appetite...
We'll begin with just a thin incision,
One that is made in the center of both your eyelids.
And then, then we'll make another cut - this one just above the eyes...
Ah, I will adore the feeling of watching your skin peel apart
As the scalpel bites in and draws it aside; much like the curtain
Set upon a theatre stage. It is the
What Are You To Me?What Are You To Me?:What Are You To Me? in Free Verse More Like This
I have walked in this world,
And they have told me of kings.
Of brave rulers who make the tough choices,
Men of example and outstanding character.
But it was then that they said,
What is a king to a God?
What is a mere mortal to a higher power,
One who holds our fate in his hands?
They said he was benevolent and kind,
Wrathful and jealous, magnanimous and selfish alike.
He was the perfect ideal, embodying all things
And we were made in his image...
It was then that I was laughed at,
By he who asked this question:
What is a God, to a non-believer?
One who lives by the truth he sees...
He is the man who acts as per his morals.
He lives through his eyes and is judged by his fellows.
He submits to no higher being, not a one does he fear;
Comfortable with his own conscience...
But all three, I beg; I ask ye this:
For what is a king to a God,
A God to a non-believer,
And all three of them in comparison,
To the madman who watches the world burn...
Shall I Bring You Despair?And so it has come to this.Shall I Bring You Despair? in Free Verse More Like This
The great hero stands poised,
Sword pointed at the demon king.
It is the stuff of legends is it not?
Yet, my objective is already complete.
For I am not a simple nightmare drawn from your feeble fairy tales.
Think about it, if indeed you can:
Today you'll kill me,
And raise my head before a baying crowd.
You'll show your acquisition proudly
And the people will welcome you.
In the first weeks,
There will be feasts and festivals.
Dancing and debauchery.
All to celebrate the hero's victory.
Then you'll become a king,
And eventually an emperor.
You will rule all the lands with fairness and equality.
A god amongst kings!
Yet something disturbs you...
Day by day you see the politics of the nobility.
You see them vying fo
Lonely Gods"I wish my body to be a staircaseLonely Gods in Free Verse More Like This
to heaven." She said, "A conduit
of lonely Gods."Swaying
pendulum hips, she, she
was made of stardust.- Scars sleeping
above a city of sweet bones, stirring
like sun-stricken scorpions during
hollow painkiller nights,
mistaking her redred burns
for Apollos kisses.
"Sadly, this body has whispered away
the last of my secrets."
For I'm a graveyard lurker.my veins are blueFor I'm a graveyard lurker. in Free Verse More Like This
with restless wanting;
your ghost fingers
at this untamed
stop loving me
like that, darling,
kissing the stars
from my throat.
if i can’t have the sky,
i will howl my laughter
to the earth,
planting a home
in the dirt
beneath my claws.
Universe GirlsheUniverse Girl in Free Verse More Like This
fell in love
while he was
still a planet;
she could only manage
to fall in love
with shooting stars
in the glare of your eyes.
what more could you truly ask
from a universe girl?
You do not whore around,You spend your nightsYou do not whore around, in Free Verse More Like This
for Apollo’s robes.
You’re as hot
as New Orleans
in mid-July, and
as her gumbo.
But, he is light-years
away and your fingers
ache with tired
a disaster in
Even if it fucking hurts,
you can still taste
his heat on your tongue.
Gods be damned,
you’re a butterfly-
( even if mounted
to a bed. )
you will find yourself
and fly away.
It tastes like love.I could speak of her in riddles,It tastes like love. in Free Verse More Like This
in aged, anatomy textbook terminology-
but, I wont.
You see, I cuffed this angel to my bedpost.
I sank my teeth into feathers she wore like a cage
and asked if I was dreaming, because Love,
you're not holding me. If you only knew the you in my head,
every night--tearing with these heavenly fingers
at the cracks in my sanity- you would allow me this!
Her tongue tastes my tears; nails clawing, clawing, clawing-
she takes away my pain,
but she doesn't belong to me either.
"We are but wolves.
Tell me, what does my blood taste like?"
You.You told me onceYou. in Free Verse More Like This
you would break my stars,
tear them from the sky and devour them
s l o w l y.
I neglected to tell you
they all had their own feelings
and your bruises form my own constellation
in the quiet valleys of my firefly skin.
I am the milky way.
And you, my sweet-
You are nothing more
than a dead star
with a pretty name.
I could make a list,but I merely bit my lip when she asked me,I could make a list, in Free Verse More Like This
"What is it you're thankful for?"
How could I tell her
I was thankful for this heart
that beats a thousand times over
when I hear her speak?
Ways to conquer heartbreakDance with fistfuls of roses, shred their petals one by one and wear their thorns like armor.Ways to conquer heartbreak in Free Verse More Like This
Write your secrets between the folds of paper cranes and tuck them safely between the empty spaces of your castle ribs.
Open your broken heart to hummingbirds, allow them the warmth and shelter of your arms.
Rebel. Tape poetry to your limbs, Cummings and Sandburg and Sexton.
Take a walk outside of your skin for a while, run with wolves.
Extinguish that forest fire that’s been curling too long in your lungs.
Be that lionhearted girl those snobby poets always write about.
Allow that cavern of stars in your throat to speak your truths in uppercase letters, in free verse yet to be proofread.
Write about wars and victory.
Be the hero.
she knows her paper cuts by name.Rose bloodshe knows her paper cuts by name. in Free Verse More Like This
on her tongue
reminds her of yesterday's.
A heart's hoarded secrets,
love me pretties, &
scarlet letter dreams.
do these boys know
of the bitter winter
like a blizzard
in her veins?
The sharp edges
or the crisscross
of origami limbs?
as deep &
as the ocean;
Bones mend, but tell no lies.You have cataloged your scarsBones mend, but tell no lies. in Free Verse More Like This
like your body is a library-
to be read through &
You think of
all the little boys
whose greedy fingers
You are angry-
cared for you
They left you
on a shelf
to gather dust.
should you ever
Cousin Of DeathCousin of death, take me inCousin Of Death in Free Verse More Like This
Let me rest, forgive this sin
I haven't lost it all, but I show pain
And soon I guess, I will walk in the rain
Oh cold winter, don't remind me
Of how, I couldn't see
Oh cold winters day, you're as cold as my heart
Remind me of the days, when it was warm
Cousin of death, comfort me
Make me believe, this isn't the best of me
Cousin of death, invite your friends
Cause agony and suffering, is better in the end
Death, I have been alive way to long
Your cousin, makes me wish that I was wrong
Cause I don't wanna wake up
So please, take me in your warm blankets
And don't let me open my eyes
You Love The SoundsYou Love The Sounds in Free Verse More Like This
I finally understand why
You keep hurting me
Time after time
You love the sounds
My heart makes
The Wet InkI hope you knowThe Wet Ink in Free Verse More Like This
That every night
You're in my head
I hope you know
That I still care
And that I did was wrong
The ink is wet
As I write
On this piece of paper
For the tears
Of my sins
They won't disappear
Open My DoorsKeep me on my feetOpen My Doors in Free Verse More Like This
For my strength is not enough
Hold me while I sleep
Cause I'm afraid, that I won't wake up
Kiss me on my cheek
For I need to know what it feels like
Help me build my dreams
Cause those I made alone, they died and fell apart
Make me lose my mind
I want to be lost in you
Help me go insane
For if I'm crazy with you, nothing else will matter
Light a candle for me
I'm afraid to touch the flame
Open up my doors
For in the end, it was I who locked them
I'm Hurt InsideI'm Hurt Inside in Concrete Poetry More Like This
I want to live, I want to love
But there's only pain
I want to take, a leap of faith
But what can I gain?
I want to scream, I want to shout
I just want out
Please let it stop, my blood boils
I have a monster inside
At time's I'm close, I don't want to
Please don't leave me
The blade calls my name, I need a release
But I won't
I wonder, do I deserve this?
I'm tortured mentally
It's a surprise, that I'm still alive
And I guess I won't stop that
At least not yet
I'm hurt inside
and it just grows
Don't Cry, I'm Still AliveDon't Cry, I'm Still Alive in Free Verse More Like This
Don't cry, I'm still alive
My body just died, I'm still alive
My spirit has moved on, to the skies
My body died, but I'm still alive
Tell dad, he was the best he could be
Tell mom, that I loved her more than I could see
Tell my siblings, that I will miss their laughs
Don't cry, I'm still alive
I just needed, one more cut
But that was more, than enough
I cut to deep in my wrist, now my body is drained
Please, Don't cry, I'm still alive
What I did, I left them behind
Now I'm with god, and his angels alike
But when I look down, I regret
I see all the pain, I have spread
Don't cry, I'm still alive
Don't cry, my funeral is just a goodbye
But it's not forever, for you will see
In heaven we will be joined, and that is a joy for me
Broken WingsBroken Wings in Free Verse More Like This
They tell me that I should get over it
That I should be fine
But with broken wings
It's hard to fly
I Have ChangedI Have Changed in Free Verse More Like This
My tears, they won't dry for awhile
My blood, it will flow for some time
My fears, they keep me alive
But in the end
This is the real me
Not the portrait you once knew
I have changed, and so have you
I'm Gonna Torment MyselfI'm Gonna Torment Myself in Free Verse More Like This
I hate this
I hate life
Give it to someone else, they won't throw it away"
I want to run
I want to hide
But I'm not a coward, I will fucking stay!
The reason I live
The only reason at all
Is knowing that I, that I deserve this torment!
I'm going insane
I see her everywhere
And after losing her, I realized how much I loved her.
I hate myself
I hate my life
I will torture myself, before I end it.
Have You Ever FeltHave You Ever Felt in Free Verse More Like This
Have you ever felt alone, in a room full of people?
Have you ever felt dead, when you 're alive?
Have you ever laughed, but cried your heart out on the inside?
Have you ever felt free, But still trapped?
Have you ever felt the need, the big need to
Fake a smile, and act like it's okay?
I have, and I will do
But staying true to yourself, knowing who you are
That is the most important thing, a human can do
I tried.I tried.I tried. in Free Verse More Like This
I tried to save you,
But you kept falling.
You wanted to crash.
But I tried.
I tried to protect you
But you kept escaping the shelter.
You wanted the disaster.
But I tried.
I tried to keep us together.
But you kept running.
You wanted to leave me.
But I tried.
I tried to do everything to please you.
But you didn't accept it.
You didn't notice it.
You didn't appreciate it.
You didn't love me for it.
You didn't even care.
You wanted it your way, more than you wanted me.
But I tried.
Rainbow DustRainbow Dust in Free Verse More Like This
Stars made of nightmares and skies made of fears
Hearts made of glass and a home built of tears
Cries made of silence and words made of knives
Dreams of the struggle to simply survive
Souls made of paper and minds made of flames
She is a piece of their loveliest game
No longer can she feel more than disgust
Even a rainbow does turn into dust…
RIP Unborn BabyTiny little bodyRIP Unborn Baby in Free Verse More Like This
Quiet little heartbeats.
See this little pea? That's how big you are right now.
But Mommy doesn't know that yet.
Little fingers start to grow
out of tiny little hands.
See this little peanut? That's how big you are right now.
But Mommy doesn't know that yet.
Your tiny legs start to grow
out of your sweet little body.
See this little pencil tip? That's how big your footprints are right now.
But Mommy doesn't know that yet.
Weak little heartbeat.
Weak little baby.
See these smiles on our faces? That's how loved you are right now.
But you don't know that yet.
Gone little heartbeat.
Gone little baby.
See us walking into the doctor's office? That's how excited we are right now.
But you don't know that yet.
"I'm so sorry for your loss."
See these tears on our faces? That's how much we love you right now.
But you don't know that yet.
A baby that had Daddy'
And That's Wrong.You're fat.And That's Wrong. in Free Verse More Like This
Or maybe you're
I don't know.
But you're not perfect.
And that's wrong.
Or maybe you're
But you're not perfect.
And that's wrong.
Or maybe you're
But you're not perfect.
And that's wrong.
Or maybe you're
like everybody else?
You're not perfect.
And that's wrong.
Well...Well, you're not anorexic. So you must be fat.Well... in Free Verse More Like This
A fat, ugly person.
Well, you fit in with the crowd. You must be a fake.
A fake wannabe.
Well, you're happy. What are you hiding?
You've got to be hiding something.
Well, you're sad. You must be emo.
An emo attention seeker.
Well, you're popular. So you must be a jerk.
Why would anyone like you in the first place?
Well, you're quiet. You must be a nobody.
Nobody at all.
Well, you're you.
What else could go wrong?
Dear Daddy, I hate you.Dad,Dear Daddy, I hate you. in Free Verse More Like This
There's something I want you to know,
Because, hey dad..
I'm not stupid.
I know you're not going to be here
Something I wanted to say..
I hate you.
I hate how you've been there for me.
I hate how you made me who I am today.
I hate how you've always inspired me,
And I hate how you've been the best father anyone could ask for.
I hate how I know you enough to know exactly what you're going to say.
I hate how you know me the same way.
I hate how you love your family more than anything.
I hate how you've been strong just so we don't feel weak,
And I hate how you never gave up on us.
On your family.
On your daughters.
I hate knowing that it's going to be
I'm going to miss you, Dad.
... Daddy, I'm going to miss you.
And I hate you for that.
Dear Mommy.Dear mommy, please don't hurt yourself.Dear Mommy. in Free Verse More Like This
I need you to hold my hand.
From crossing the little old gravel road
To helping me find wonderland.
Dear mommy, please don't hate yourself.
I love the way you used to be.
Happy and joyful, so filled with love
Or at least that's how you seemed to me.
Dear mommy, maybe I don't understand.
But please don't let yourself go.
I need you now more than ever,
And more than you'll ever know.
Dear mommy, please don't leave me.
I love you.. Don't you understand?
Mommy, please don't kill yourself.
I still need you to hold my hand.
You don't just die.Do you understand?You don't just die. in Free Verse More Like This
The blade against your wrist
Doesn't just slice your skin.
It cuts through others
Do you understand?
You don't just kill yourself.
You kill everyone.
From YOUR goodbyes.
Do you understand?
You don't just die.
You take everyone down
You're Not?You're anorexic if you're thinYou're Not? in Free Verse More Like This
You're not? Then you're obese.
If you're different, you're insane
You're not? Then you're a fake.
If you're happy, you're hiding something.
You're not? You must be emo.
If you're dating, you're a slut.
You're not? You must have no friends.
If you're popular, you're a jerk.
You're not? You're a nobody.
If you're quiet, you must be disabled.
You're not? You obnoxious freak.
If you're you, you're wrong.
Then you must be perfect.
I am not a stereotypeSlide the blade across your wrist.I am not a stereotype in Free Verse More Like This
"Doesn't it hurt?"
I can't feel anything.
Punch your own stomach.
Does it hurt yet?
"Why do you do that?"
The pain makes me feel alive.
"I don't know."
"What's wrong with you?"
I'm dead inside.
I'm just depressed.
Stare at your arms.
"What are you doing?"
I just have low self esteem.
I'm just human.
I'm just me.
DecisionSobre el calor de tus manos dejo mi almaDecision in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
mas que desnuda....: transparente.
Nacen flores de la sombra,
y del silencio sales tú.
El abrazo perdido y encontrado,
la palabra esperada,
la existencia completa...
El tiempo que faltaba.
La mano que me salva,
el alma que me abriga,
el beso de mis labios,
el calor, la vida.
ImpulsosRecorres hasta el último rincón de mi cuerpo solo con tu mirada,Impulsos in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
en esta noche perdida, llena de segundos incontables
te has hecho mi dueño sin avisarme...
Tus manos temblorosas recorren la geografía impensable
deja de existir todo aquello que no sea tuyo,
un vapor caliente asciende de mis entrañas sintiéndote.
Es una sola sombra la que nos envuelve confundiendo pieles,
destrozando límites, disolviendo el silencio en nuestros nombres.
Ausencia de vosImito tus manos en mi rostro,Ausencia de vos in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
e imagino tus labios sobre mi frente
que pronuncian la promesa quizás imposible
de encontrar un lugar para ambos
después de las palabras,
después del dolor,
después de la muerte
tal vez después de nosotros...
Donde ni siquiera la esperanza es capaz de llegar,
allá tan lejos que cada centímetro es un siglo ausente,
un vacío insalvable,
Donde ni siquiera hay silencio...
Razones en vanoRondan por mis manos preguntas de alas cortas,Razones en vano in Other More Like This
obscuras como ideas,
certeras como dardos,
rotundas como sombras,
Rondan imagenes cortadas,
Rondan palabras de un solo lado,
razones en vano...
MiedoTemo nuevamente a los pasos de ese muerto insomne: el tiempo.Miedo in Free Verse More Like This
mis entrañas, corroídas por el abismo canibal
escuchan susurros incomprensibles,
dejan cerrados sus ojos agonizantes.
Temo por este camino abandonado sin ninguna huella,
por estas manos de huellas igual abandonadas...
Esta noche, cada noche...Del vacío inmensoEsta noche, cada noche... in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
del mudo espacio
De minutos punzantes
y horas interminables.
Del silencio de una vida,
de una vida en silencio...
me has salvado....
Dejar de ladoMejor dejarte en el rincon que se pierde en sí mismoDejar de lado in Other More Like This
sobre esas palabras rebuscadas
y esa mirada de bosque hundido.
Olvidar tu nombre de eco,
de silabas cortas y actos lejanos
abrir un sendero por entre las rejas de tu piel y huir
sin freno ni parada.
Huir del cansancio constante de afrontar
que algunos cambios son gratuitos e irracionales,
Mejor dejar de lado ese camino ciego
camino de sólo eso...y nada más.
HallazgoCaminan de espaldas hacia el abismo,Hallazgo in Other More Like This
pobres miradas sin retorno.
Caen exactamente por donde pretendieron trepar,
con esos brazos rechazados,
con ese corazón agonizante.
Ahora, en silencio
mueren y matan ...
LucesAsimilo silenciosamente este amor que me consume,Luces in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
estas palabras dichas en tantos ciclos que se han vuelto laberinto.
Comprendo que de una u otra forma existen puentes eternamente inconclusos,
que tus manos no vuelven,
que los besos se atan a cualquier razón,
que las sombras pasan pero dejan huella,
que te tomo por ausencia cuando te encuentro en cada esquina.
Y allí, sobre el vuelo alborotado de muchos silencios
y el inesperado fluir de imágenes antiguas,
en las manos de un niño, en un viejo recuerdo del mismo lugar,
de un día que no existirá, allí...comprendo que te vas.
Escribo hoyEscribo hoy para aquellos días que pasaron,Escribo hoy in Other More Like This
aquellos días que vendrán...
Para esa mirada mía que vio tantas muertes diluídas,
tantos tragos amargos.
Escribo y encuentro hoy
que los caminos dolientes,
que la sombra herida del tiempo
de aquellas muertes sin sueño,
son ahora una huella más
del paso de las vidas sobre otras,
del paso del mismo tiempo sobre las sombras.
Escribo hoy para esa promesa cumplida,
para esa promesa que se cumple,
para esa mirada,
que dulce me recibe ahora en las manos del destino.
Escribo para esas manos que me guardan,
para el abrazo en el que anido,
para los labios que me nombran,
que me hacen, que me pintan
y desarman en silencio
mis enredos en sonrisas,
para ese tiempo que solo existe
de tanto amarlo.
Hoy, escribo y encuentro,
simplemente te encuentro...
telling a sad story backwards-17.telling a sad story backwards- in Short Stories More Like This
it smells like grief and sterilized metal.
i climb into andrews bed, though the nurses have strictly forbidden it. he closes his eyes and holds me tightly, because he says when he cant see me, it is easier to pretend i never happened to him.
he pushes the cart aggressively down the aisle, pretending to mow over old ladies doing their sunday shopping.
"stop," i say giggling, lobbing a can of ravioli at him.
for a moment i think he simply didn't see me throw the can; it glances off his chest and falls to the floor, exploding in a pattern of red arrows. i don't notice his eyes rolling back in his head or the graceful way his body collapses to the floor.
the only thing i notice is the distinct thudding sound as his head hits the metal shelf and the screaming that may or may not be mine.
later in the hospital he calls for me and says he wants to apologize for keeping secrets, and the doctors launch into a medical explanation of his cancer.
their eyes are sad.
fifty-seven degrees.i.fifty-seven degrees. in Free Verse More Like This
it is summer and i want to write you poems
about how it is fifty-seven degrees and i am shaking.
it is summer and i want to crawl through your second-story
window and tell you about the butterfly i saw and named "cloudcityscandal,"
but you are always asleep and dreamless.
it is summer and whenever i sleep i only dream about you, so how is that fair.
it is summer and i don't go to church but spend all my time confessing.
it is summer and i don't discharge static before pumping gas.
it is summer and where is my paradise. where is my sanity.
where is my personal weight-loss consultant and complimentary iced beverage.
it is summer and i am already wishing it were spring.
when i was five i made a green and purple
friendship bracelet at summer camp.
i don't know where it is,
but sometimes it's all i want.
you and i hike up past the clouds until
the rain and cold can't touch us.
we have three bruised shins and two quiet
arguments between us, and we name them summer.
(you climb moun
Last WordsIn the beginning you never want to let her go,Last Words in Free Verse More Like This
and so you don't for a long, long time.
You commit to bobby pins underfoot, mismatched
plates stacked like landmines,
long hairs that circle and clog the drain, filling the tub
with stagnant water.
You tell her something that you love about her
each night before you fall asleep,
until one day you look at her and realize that you
don't know what to say anymore.
“I am not happy.”
You whisper this to yourself once and then try to say it louder,
but the words won't cooperate.
Maybe a whisper is as loud as this thought can exist,
or maybe some words weren't meant to be spoken aloud,
but you still think them, and yes,
you whisper them to yourself
when she isn't listening.
Perhaps this is what you should have been telling her
each night as her hands searched for you in the darkness.
This isn't happening, you think,
unless it is.
You wonder if you owe her something,
like your heart, maybe, your red hooded sweatshirt,
throwing rocks.so i want to grow up and get a job and make happy, make money, make forget. i can't though, i'm too concerned with windchimes. i mean, fuck windchimes, right? i lie awake at night and listen to rigs on the rumble strip and the windchimes, (mostly the trucks), but damn, the tinkling is enough to keep me awake all night. but sometimes not, and then i dream i drown or maybe i marry a serial killer who props up corpses in rocking chairs or sometimes i dream about my ex-boyfriend's little sister because why not. then i wake up and it's taxes and credit cards and grades and people dying and shit.throwing rocks. in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
i don't know what is wrong with me.
i mean i do, though, it's called obsessive compulsive disorder and major depressive disorder and severe anxiety and a bunch of other shit that takes too long to detail, but i'm talking about the pieces insurance won't cover.
also fuck claire danes.
it's just like, when i close the door behind me i push on the doorknob six times plus seven plus seve
heart crossed.heart crossed. in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
"who's that kid?" i ask, pointing at the boy whose hair cannot decide if it is red or gold. he holds a basketball in his small hands, bouncing it, once, twice, before putting it through the hoop in a perfect arc.
"james," the counselor responds, and leans closer. "he's a foster kid, you know."
i don't know.
the boy turns at that moment and catches me watching him. unthinkingly i form my thumbs and index fingers into a heart and flash it at him. he nods to his teammates and leaves the court, climbing the bleachers to where i sit.
"did you see my shot?" he asks.
"yes." pause. "i'm kelsey."
"i know," he says, and runs back to his game.
at the end of the camp day i wave to the buses as they leave the parking lot. the final bus clicks and pops to life, and from the last seat i see james cup his hands into a heart and press it against the window at me. i fumble to free my hands and return the gesture, but the bus turns the corner and he is gone.
it doesn't take long for me to vow that if i
you can't make them love you.He is beautiful, new, unexplored. He has wanted to kiss her ever since they met one week ago and fell prey to helpless chemistry.you can't make them love you. in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
Dont, she says, moving her hands in a subconscious yes pattern along his arm as he rubs his cheek against hers. You dont even know my favourite colour. The wind cuts through her thin jacket, and his chest is so warm.
Red, he guesses, improbably correct. His ears are cold.
And how many dogs do I have?
Two, he says, and she laughs wildly at his luck as he nuzzles her neck.
Im trying to save you, she tells him, pushing fruitlessly against his broad shoulders. So you dont wa
glittering, struggling.i.glittering, struggling. in Free Verse More Like This
"i am going to make every person
around me as happy as i can,"
i bravely declare.
"you should get a job," you offer,
and i draw a heart on a whiskey
bottle and say that making people
happy is my new job.
"you should get a paying job,"
you clarify, and i fill the whiskey
bottle with glitter and kiss you
until it doesn't matter anymore.
you don't need money if you're
i tell you that i'm going to leave
because even if it hurts now, it will
eventually make you happy, and
you refuse to speak to me for
the rest of the night.
and here i thought i had
all of the answers.
you joke about going to med school
just so you can keep me alive forever.
i joke about doing some nice deeds
so people will write kind things about
me in my obituary.
neither of us think the other
is particularly funny.
you roll over in bed and whisper,
"did you mean what you said, kel?
about making people happy?"
i pretend to be asleep so that
i don't have to tell you that the only
people that i want to
sticks and stones.broken people like to write poems about how they are broken.sticks and stones. in Free Verse More Like This
they like to turn people into words because no one's heart
has ever been punctured by parentheses, but by god it's not
for lack of trying. in a poem, broken people can have hangnails
and they never have to brush their hair because the tangles
symbolize the time they lost their virginity and there are no mirrors
unless they write about one and force themselves to look into it.
broken people also like to use cliche metaphors
but that is okay because when you are broken
sometimes cliche metaphors are all you have left.
"i am a rose and you think i'm beautiful so you
keep ramming me into your eye, thorn first."
"i am uncut grass and you roll around in me,
joyful, shaking, but when you stop to catch
your breath and look at your forearms you
see that they're covered in hundreds of tiny cuts."
"i am a dandelion. i don't know why but goddamnit
i am tender and damaged and i've already written
a poem where i've mentioned turning into
no one warned the little girlssometimes you will fall in love with the handsno one warned the little girls in Free Verse More Like This
or with the jawline, not with the penis.
watch out for boys whose eyes
are rougher than their voices.
little girls love hard and fast, and it is a lie
to say that words will never hurt you.
kissing in the rain is not romantic.
it's cold and wet, and your nipples
will be like pebbles digging into his skin.
he'll wipe water from your lashes,
and, if he is polite, he'll pretend
not to notice his thumb blackened by mascara.
later as he sleeps you will watch his lips,
unable to feel anything except your hair
curled damply against your skin.
when you were young, sex was strange
and scary and unreasonable.
when you grow older, that doesn't change at all.
please, do not use the flavored condoms.
getting married tastes like a wedding
invitation, heavy cardstock and eggplant ink.
if you cut your tongue and bleed
all over the calligraphy, it's bad luck.
when you speak your vows and look in his eyes,
you will still feel the blood
in your mouth, warm a
I'm sorry I never loved youI'm sorryI'm sorry I never loved you in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
I'm sure you want
that to mean alot of things
but in truth it means one
I'm sorry I never loved you
not in the way
you would've wanted me to
not in the way you needed me to,
I'm sorry I loved the ideal
of you and me
the wonderful beauty that
be birthed from our attractions
more than I loved the person
within that fantasy.
I'm sorry I forced
the delusion of perfection
upon you and held
you to those
of my selfish imagination.
I'm sorry that I placed
the necessity of us
above the desires of you.
that I wasn't the guy you deserved
and that I wasted my few chances
with someone as wonderful as you.
I'm sorry I never loved you
till you were already gone.
How To Show A Girl She Can Love HerselfWhen you see her cryHow To Show A Girl She Can Love Herself in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
you get a rag,
a gentle delicate clothe
lovingly grasp her hand
and dab its tip
to dry each tear as they come
and ask each drop
why it'd leave
such beautiful eyes.
If she wishes
to be in the sky
Tell her to go
Take the sun ransom
And replace it in the sky
So you can see her every morning
and plead for her
To return each night.
When you see her scars
gently like you might
caress the broken wing
Of a dove
and remind her
that for every hurt
that she's survived
has only made her
that much more unique
that much stronger.
Show her that she is worthy of love
That she deserves the love
she fears to give...
show her so that
one day after you're
HypnotizeMy heart beats as it shouldHypnotize in Free Verse More Like This
As it always has.
I grow and learn everyday
As I always have.
I breathe in, I breathe out
And take in the atmosphere.
But the second you hypnotize me,
Entrance me with those eyes,
I forget everything I knew
My heart skips a beat,
Lost in the thunder of your laughter.
My vocabulary dissapates,
My tongue ties in knots.
It's the most terrifying feeling in existence.
The feeling of falling and floating.
Yet your presence eliminates this,
Fills me with wonder and belief.
You're my religion, my logic.
My stability, my anarchy.
Everything I could ask for
In every breath you take.
FacadeWhen I die, paint my lips cherry red.Facade in Free Verse More Like This
Paint a curl in the corners
So it looks like I am smiling.
Be sure to seal my eyelids tight
And hide my bloodshot eyes.
Even if they were open
I doubt you'd see the pain.
Be careful that my eyes
No longer look red and puffy
From all those tears I never cried.
Dress me to impress
Because that's what you all expect.
Cover my arms carefully
To hide fresh lacerations.
Don't tell them it was my own fault
It gives you a bad reputation.
Tell them that I was happy
And loved all I had.
Feed them your lies.
They'll eat them gluttonously.
Play all those love songs
You wished I would love.
Pretend that it was a surprise
That I'd want to leave this earth.
Bury me in the moonlight
So no one can see the flaws.
Both in my casket and me.
Give me red and white roses
To keep me pure and traditional.
At least enough for everyone to believe.
Are You Listening?Did anyone hear me cry outAre You Listening? in Free Verse More Like This
"Please don't leave me a alone today."
Did anyone bother to listen
Or did they just walk away?
Had anyone notcied
That no one noticed me?
Or was it all intentional
That you just let me be?
Nobody cared at all
About the sad girl who cried.
You all just sat and stared
As I slowly rotted inside.
And as I begged for help
No one would shed a tear
While they all observed me
As I collapsed in fear.
After it was all said and done
No one said a word.
As I let out a cry of pain
My voice was never heard
Broken GirlIs anyone out there?Broken Girl in Free Verse More Like This
Can anyone hear me?
Can't you see me?
The broken girl in the corner,
Reaching out for help,
Drying her eyes.
Battered by your mistakes,
Starving for your love,
Scarred by what you've done.
I cannot see anymore,
The darkness consumed me.
Cast in the shadows
Of everything you say she is.
You've stolen everything I had
And created this monster.
Abandoning the gift you had,
The precious life you made.
UnnoticedUnnoticed in Free Verse More Like This
The world outside is quiet,
Disturbed by the sound of cracking ice,
Wind rushing through frozen trees.
My thoughts are flowing,
Trying to fill the void,
In times that seem most fitting.
The distance remains unchanging,
The space between our bodies,
The lines that seperate.
My efforts to change the world,
To save the people in it,
The world outside is quiet,
The people turned away,
Forgetting the mess we've made.
FrustrationLove, the lies you speak drip from every pore.Frustration in Free Verse More Like This
And hadn't you heard we see much more?
Like all the trauma that's built up your wall?
Or all the times we watched you climb, to see you fall?
Darling, didn't you hear that you're dead wrong,
That you stayed behind, while you should've moved on?
Are the words that I'm saying new to your mind?
Honey, have you realized you're lagging behind?
Tell me, when the poison went down, with that peaceful burn,
Did you see all the things you wanted to learn?
With your clouded judgment, dear, can you finally see
All of those things that you could never be?
So to hell with ambition, it's something we lack.
Just fool around, I'll pick up the slack.
UntitledI pray you didn't seeUntitled in Free Verse More Like This
The tears that fell from my eyes
When you turned away
And said your last goodbyes.
I hope you heard me whisper
"Please don't ever go."
I waited for you to turn back
But my voice was just too low.
I wish that you'd told me
The truth instead of lies.
You used to say forever
But not it's just goodbyes.
As I lay in darkenss
I hope that this is true,
That as your face haunts me,
My face is haunting you.
The metal on my flesh
The bitter tear in my eye
While you lived and breathed
I felt that I should die.
I hope you never read this
Though it might change your mind
About what you've done
To the girl you left behind
A Beauty and A BeastThere's a sparkle in your eyes, my dearA Beauty and A Beast in Free Verse More Like This
That can light up a room.
An ominous beast approaches
And your eyes cloud with doom.
Where an ambitious girl once stoond
A hollow doll now lays.
And on her flawless face
An empty expression stays.
The beast retreats
And all is well at last,
But the beauty's eyes
Are tainted with the past
The thing that she loves most
Is the thing that hides her away
She has her blissful moments
To keep the nightmares at bay.
The beauty has such lovely eyes
That he beast loves to steal
I pray this is only a story,
far too horrible to be real
Selkie There is a fisherman sitting on a rock by the shore; his forlorn grey eyes watching grey clouds rolling over apathetic grey waves, and beyond, a grey horizon.Selkie in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
He sits with empty hooks, empty nets, empty stomach, wrapped in layers of clothes like broken shutters that do not keep the chill out. Young and tan, he is, skin chapped by the wind, broad shouldered and well muscled from breaking his back dawn to dusk.
That must be all he knows, a grey life of work and water.
come to the shore,
and I will meet you there.
I am velvet,
I am smooth.
come down to the water.
let's play in the sea.
Forget your empty stomach,
there is only me
and the rolling waves.
Forget your net,
and your steel hooks,
they have nothing on me.
Must I come to you, for you see me not? I am shedding my skin, for you, fisherman.
Behold now the fair maiden down by the shore; my ivory skin, rose in the
Nocturne for Violin and PianoFootsteps resound on small cobbled streets,Nocturne for Violin and Piano in Free Verse More Like This
and large paved roads
and grand halls with floors of marble.
Like a piano, I am your accompaniment.
Heartstrings cry like violins
pleading to the heavens and you,
the sound reflecting off the silvery moon
and left painfully hanging in the ether.
I will follow
Tread no farther.
to the ends of the earth
Our world has ended.
until there is nothing left of me.
There is nothing left of me.
Come home, love.
Dust and memories
Come home, love.
of your arms
Come home, love.
are where my home lies, now.
The shiver in your voice belies your words
A Poet IsA poet is a liar with a silver tongue pen, and a bleeding heart on the other end.A Poet Is in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
We are anagrams and metaphors and sphinxes in sheep skin.
Every letter is an actor that we send into the wind,
And we're only as good as the words you believe in.
AvianYou used to tell her she had bird bones -Avian in Free Verse More Like This
it was only a joke,
but you would hold her tightly
so she could not fly away.
Now you carry starlings in your pockets
to feel their little hearts
fluttering much like hers did
when you lay your head upon her chest,
heart beating the way yours did,
before she flew away with it
as you always knew she would.
Tonight you are haunted
by a swan with a broken neck.
It is a dream,
just a nightmare,
but you know that it is her...
She has returned to you
decked out in feathers,
choking on a heart,
and you're frightened as hell
at how god damn beautiful
she is in broken symmetry,
but you find relief in your fistfuls of feathers.
Endymion Wakens (Love, Cherries and Gold)While Selene was out cavorting, at play with her trysts,Endymion Wakens (Love, Cherries and Gold) in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
In a mountain cave was hidden her abandoned lover.
All he could do was wait, she tarried no more in his midst
In preference of another, and another other.
Dark from Phoebus' sun lay languishing Endymion,
Lifetimes dreaming, suddenly wakened by a kiss of love
From the sweet cherry red lips of a young golden maiden,
Warmly smiling, seemingly shining, at him from above.
Bewildered by her beauty and goodness shown so purely
To a stranger she gave life to who was sleeping in death.
Her eyes were blue pools, calm, deep, she was no mortal surely.
She was like Spring, so alive! And she took away his breath.
He carried his fair savior out where the morning star
Heralded the dawn and she stared at him in wonderment:
A god-like prince and shepherd, she had loved him from afar,
Since she had discovered him all was pain and merriment.
To her voice nor touch would he respond in his spellbound sleep.
She had cried one thousand tears for the fat
Taking Back The DayCandy tastes bitterTaking Back The Day in Free Verse More Like This
on this arbitrary day.
Kisses look like
little wrapped bombs
in aluminum foil;
no X's & O's for me -
I'm not hungry anyway.
But I cannot stand
the sight of flowers.
Carnations are too sweet.
Roses are too dusky,
and far too inviting,
and without shame.
Stamp 'em in a card
and give 'em to your lover,
then burn all the rest
for the sake of the rest of us.
Let's have a bonfire of the vanity
of this 'gifts for sex'
Saint Hallmark's Day.
Now gather round ye lonely,
and warm your hearts;
we are taking back the day.
Don't worry, lovebirds,
we'll throw it back
after our blood mingles
with strawberry champagne,
but as the number 14,
because a day belongs to no one.
The Importance of Gold FlecksHereditary.The Importance of Gold Flecks in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
I learned the meaning of the word when I was young on a summer afternoon. Too hot to play outside, I was sitting with my dad on our blue couch with the small white polka dot fabric. In retrospect, it was probably a tacky piece of furniture, but love is unconditional when you are small, and I sure did love that couch. I remember my dad watching Winnie the Pooh with me every Saturday morning on its spotted cushions. That day, though, we had a conversation about eyes that I never forgot, and even then, its deeper meaning was not lost on me.
"Daddy, your eyes are green like a cat's," I said.
He smiled, and told me that mine were also green, but unlike his, they changed colors. "Sometimes they are blue. Your eyes were so blue when you were a baby! Big and blue.... Someti