Cancer has a smell.Old classics,Cancer has a smell. in Free Verse More Like This
the half cup of
peppermint ice cream
sitting in your freezer
for weeks, and cat litter.
He won’t eat anymore,
but there are
piles and piles
of dirty dishes
sitting in the sink.
before your eyes.
You can wrap
your whole self
around his tiny bones
You can hold him
like he used to hold you
all those years ago.
And you are angry.
You try to find
You hate doctors,
and you hate
You have to force yourself
to stop crying,
This is the one person
who’s always had faith
He’s read every poem
and hoarded every award
you ever won.
You ignore statistics,
BloodI've got a filthy mouth,Blood in Free Verse More Like This
& a house of stars
thriving in my throat.
& I still have yet to tame
this grounded constellation
I call my temple. -Slithering
tongue hissing too many
"fuck you's" against my teeth.
I fear I will write myself hollow-
or until my bones are corroded away
& I am nothing-
an insignificant nebula
orbiting the wrong atmosphere.
But, my veins bleed sweet ichor,
& words are only words, Mother.
wet scribbles, tattooed tragedyI am shedding my skinwet scribbles, tattooed tragedy in Free Verse More Like This
like the poetry that bleeds
from your ink-cracked lips
onto the bare bones of my
Unfold these moon-shy limbs
that chase silence
& beg stay-with-me.
For you are the only verse
hidden within this labyrinth
of scar-damaged flesh.
astrology.i lost my cigarettes today whileastrology. in Free Verse More Like This
sparing kisses to too many witches
with apastron blackberry tongues.
& like the scattered stars of scars,
saturn's rings whispered secrets
to the telescope eyes of these strangers
cradling galaxies between lovely bones-
( their fingertip heat
knowing nothing of intermissions. )
NaPoWriMo: Day 10 Have you ever been so cold, Sweetheart,NaPoWriMo: Day 10 in Free Verse More Like This
your knees q u a k e d like that Jenga piece
that buckled just before your whole foundation
& no matter
how many times
I've restarted your heart,
one would think
I'd grow tired,
I'm still writing you in poetry
(in the most inappropriate of places.)
You forced yourself beneath my blades
& my fingertips,
Licking unstable knees,
you were death on my tongue:
angry apricot eyes, unforgivable sin
scaring my limbs &
haunting my dreams.
& I'd still try to save your fucking life.
Je t'aimeShe told me, "I love you this much!"Je t'aime in Free Verse More Like This
stretching her arms out
as far as they could go, fingers taught
I looked at her, eyes smiling
and asked, "Only that much?"
"That's all there is." She replied.
And I agreed,
"Vast oceans can not compare our our love,
ConstellationShe is dream dust,Constellation in Free Verse More Like This
too bitter or wise
for her own good.
A timeless dragon's soul
somewhere inside a
scaled shell, burning
the silence in her bones
alive, honeysuckle sweet.
She collects fireflies only to
set them free at 3am,
crying to an uncaring moon.
& she's begging for the stars
to take her away,
make this house a home
rigged in the sky.
She is already naked fever
swimming through the cosmos
& I orbit her.
NaPoWriMo: Day 2sometimes,NaPoWriMo: Day 2 in Free Verse More Like This
i have this
sudden urge to cut
most of the time,
i just wish I were anything
other than me.
a rocket ship, a bird-
the sweet flavored smoke
I promised my girlfriend
these briar patch lungs
would not in.hale.
i have fallen in love
with the strangest of things-
eyes that intimidate
the way my scars
play hide and seek
with her hands. -
the love letters
that start and end
pressed against limbs.
i make promises
i know i can not keep.
but if i were a liar
i would say i was tired
of writing to the stars.
I want to forget names,& faces,I want to forget names, in Free Verse More Like This
I want to forget their veins,
fingerprints forever burned into my eyelids;
wrists I can't look at
without longing to tear apart.
Spine full, and spiteful:
I want to cry
roses in my midnight tea
for these star collapsed lungs.
I want to cry for her
& for me.
she wont allow me the courtesy.
Sad poems need pretty titles.April was lungs weak of blue, andSad poems need pretty titles. in Free Verse More Like This
scalpels held in heartless,
You told me you were no coward
that the seas and the oceans
whispered in your ears and told you
only the bravest of men
deserve to kiss their beds.
May passed too quickly.
No time for mourning
when I gained ten pounds
of pure muscle
holding up your stars.
People asked too many questions.
People told me I was strong.
One day in June
you woke up to a skeletal frame
that wasn’t yours and the biggest,
strongest ribcage I’d ever seen.
I had cornfields in my eyes;
You misplaced your anchor
and your mind.
BelovedBeloved:Beloved in Haiku & Eastern More Like This
With a bright radiant smile
If only for me...
-Chen Yuan Wen, 4th January 2013
I Comfort MyselfWith a warm drink, whispering secrets to my own reflection.I Comfort Myself in Free Verse More Like This
The struggles that plague me, though none may know,
Are only for the ears of my quiet mirror, who smiles
Softly, warmly and with care. He tells me, I'm fine
I've done well for now and soon I may finally rest.
Though the silence continues to press upon me,
Weighing upon my soul like an iron crate.
Still I find comfort in whispering secrets,
If only to my own reflection - holding a warm drink...
-Chen Yuan Wen, 17th October 2012
Letting Go of YouLetting Go of You:Letting Go of You in Free Verse More Like This
You abandoned me in the past
without so much as a proper goodbye
One day you simply chose to walk out the door
and you never did come back...
I was angry then, hurting badly
I wondered if I was in some way inadequate
I wondered if you left because I am so easy to despise
and eventually my sorrow turned to anger
I wanted to become great
to show you that you made the wrong choice
to take my strength and throw it in your face
just so you would regret it
But then I saw how happy you were...
In the time we've been apart
You've made a new life for yourself
You've found someone who loves and treasures you
and upon seeing that, my anger faded...
Your smile, that which I fell in love with
is more radiant now than the morning sun
a gentle blush upon your fair cheeks
takes my breath away, just as it did so long ago
Of course, I don't hold any hope for us to be friends
I don't think that it would be appropriate for me to come back
but perhaps one day, if
Alone but AliveAlone but Alive:Alone but Alive in Songs & Lyrics More Like This
Oh here I am standing,
A lost soul is landing.
The coldest December,
Can you still remember?
Do you even hear me?
There's no one around me!
Oh shadow that I see,
The void right behind me.
Yet still I am breathing;
Yet still I am feeling.
The coldest sensation,
Oh worthless creation!
Are you still crying?
Oh why are you lying - abandoned and cold
Cold like what was left of soul,
Made of all the life you stole.
Walk divine but made of sin,
Worm of hatred squrim within.
Sin of lust and sin of pride,
Lash the tongue that last has lied.
Yours was silver with a promise,
Kiss of death and then you vomit.
Burning bile of ugly treason,
No one else can know the reason.
Left a soul behind to burn;
You are the reason I have turned...
On this cold and endless night...
When I'm finally pierced by the light...
And I awaken from this hell...
ALONE - BUT ALIVE!
Alive and again oh do I dare?
To give this heart and to lay it bare.
When heaven cast its fate
My Eternal CurseMy Eternal Curse:My Eternal Curse in Free Verse More Like This
Since the time I was awakened,
From the dawn I lived and breathed.
I have always walked alone,
For I carry a dark disease.
No matter where I go,
No matter where I'm born.
Always it will reveal itself,
Always I am torn.
The moon will shine from cloudless heavens,
And soon the change will take it's place.
My fangs will grow and fur will sprout,
It is my deep and dark disgrace...
Silverback, they called me,
Bane of men and beast alike.
Knights and templar, each and all,
Sought to have me on a pike.
I've killed so many countless men,
They are faceless in my waking dreams.
Bones shall litter the depths of my lair,
As I wash the blood away in streams.
I seek not an end to my torment and pain,
But leave me now in peace to die.
Or come into the den of evil,
And your head will be the first to fly.
-Chen Yuan Wen, 26th February 2012
UndyingUndying:Undying in Free Verse More Like This
How many days do you spend now, putting me down?
The coffin call for a dead man waiting around
"He's just an underground laughing stock, never to rise"
But on the seventh day I'm coming back; these are my ties!
The kind of promise that you made with the devil inside
You try to take away my soul, but I take it in stride
I ain't a doll that is crushed by the weight of his pride
I am the real and the raw of the things you denied!
You're playing snake games, selling oil, pass it off strong
You're just a pot head, weed dead, smoking your bong.
You try to look away, play and hide; apathy's best
But I'm the kind of bad boy you don't put to the test!
-Chen Yuan Wen, 7th February 2013
Sudden CrueltySudden Cruelty:Sudden Cruelty in Free Verse More Like This
He is a God, or so he believes
He judges others and puts them into stereotypes
Asian? No life! Hispanic? Brainless!
He thinks he has control over his world
A delusion which he has never been able to break
Me? I'm better than them, I'm smarter...
He sits alone in his room, ignoring the emptiness
He sits in front of his computer and passes judgement
Lol, you're wrong. You're stupid. Everything is stupid!
He laughs and smiles at his own cruelty;
He feels powerful and most certainly superior to all
But in the end, it's just a fantasy isn't it?
He curls up in his bed, thinking about tomorrow
Here, he's a king, but out there, what is he?
The guy, whose girlfriend dumped him
The guy, whose boss is younger and smarter
The kid, who has nothing to live for
The man, who has lost it all...
Arrogant and apathetic, cold from a lack of warmth
That is his very nature, that is who he really is
He has nothing to live f
To The Beautiful YouTo The Beautiful You:To The Beautiful You in Free Verse More Like This
Here we are, sitting behind these screens of glass,
Reading lines of text, yet smiling, laughing and crying.
It's strange to think that I could have this much fun -
Considering that I've never met you before, but then again
Perhaps that's the reason why I don't have to pretend.
Some people might tell me, that what we have is just a fantasy,
I doubt I'll have the chance to actually see you in this life-time.
But even so, in the time that we've spent together - Well,
I feel as though I've connected with you, more than anyone else.
I feel as though I know you better, than those just a few feet away.
You might take this little confession as something silly,
Maybe you'll even forget about it as time passes,
But I for one could never forget about someone like you,
And so I'd like to dedicate this piece, to the beautiful you.
-Chen Yuan Wen, 17th December 2012
Practice Poem - Poor Little TimmyPractice Poem - Poor Little Timmy:Practice Poem - Poor Little Timmy in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Down into well, poor Timmy fell,
Down he fell into the pits of hell.
Brought into hell by an eldritch spell,
Poor little Timmy who fell down the well.
Alone he cowered and shivered and shook,
He shook for hours, so long it took,
So long it took for him to feel well,
Well enough to explore this hell...
Through pathways littered with scenes most gory;
Most gory indeed was little Timmy's story,
A story of fear and suffering defined,
Poor little Timmy, he ran out of time...
Now then, I think I'll go welcome my little guest...
-Chen Yuan Wen, 14th December 2012
It Came From The DarkIt Came From The Dark:It Came From The Dark in Free Verse More Like This
Amongst the ashes, swirling from the darkness of the pit,
Emerged a hand, dragging a battered body across the rocks.
Blood leaked from the wounds so callously self-inflicted,
And teeth ground with a focused determination and seething anger.
It cared not for the warm rubies - staining the jagged rocks,
It cared not for the sensation of pain...
All that it remembered was a dream, An obsession -
One that drove it ever higher; ignoring all else!
Eventually it emerged from this shadowy hole, this dreary depth,
And in that moment, it learned of the truth.
For this creature, denied sunlight and warmth -
-Chen Yuan Wen, 11th December 2012
The Shades Of My EyesThe Shades Of My Eyes in Free Verse More Like This
The Shades Of My Eyes
Treading along a path of healing
Within an aura of rejuvenation
Restore the strongest force of life
Renew these weakening limits of mine
Devotion has no means to an end
There is only hope and strength to be lent
Just like the void called the sky
Even the clouds don't hinder sight
A storm could be brewing
And lightning could be striking
But there is no fear dwelling
Only a calm, tranquil feeling
A rarity itself
An enigma that stands out
A peace that transcends
An energy that ascends
A strong person who is still only human
An outcome of living within the moment
Like a stunning sunrise
Shunning out an ominous evening night
Piercing through that unending blanket of darkness
To see the light of day again, it tells me that I've made it
The sun rays hit and land
And starts to melt the doubt from my hands
The will to endure
The wisdom to acquire
There are no word
A Wish For FreedomA Wish For Freedom in Free Verse More Like This
A Wish For Freedom
I, a child birthed in chains
Raised in a cage
But on this day- they will break
I was taught self-hatred
Learning that the differences were divided
Among the people who are considered “civilized “
Forcefully combining my fear and envy
As I was raised in the middle of this society
My power and pride were deprived of me
I was only an empty vessel
Believing that all promises were fabled
But once upon a calm- I witnessed hope's revival
Wings sprout from my tongue / Words from my soul are sung
A new voice's journey has begun / Let the era of silence be undone
Obtaining peace of mind / Experiencing freedom of heart
Allowing the colors to shine / The future will blind the scars
I had to fight the system; I had to stop the cycle
It was either my downfall or survival
So I reversed this downward spiral
Care not, for those w
To Save Your LifeTo Save Your Life in Free Verse More Like This
To Save Your Life
Heroes are hard to come by
Especially in this day and age
Because of you- I am still alive
Hail, the vanquisher of pain
I fought as long as I could have
But I sank into the weakness below
And I felt my sorrow's wrath
The helplessness took over
My fists let go
Of the resistance
I fell from hope
The light faded in the distance
It was all a dream
A simple false belief
Hands dangled frantically / Tears dripped endlessly
I needed a hero to save me / I yearned to be set free
A hand reached out
I was finally found
I rose back to grace
And the darkness brightened
The savior I awaited
Lifted me up and triumphed
I prayed as much as I needed
Even when I was beyond drowning
I knew a kind soul would pay heed
Every mourning human deserves saving
Promises Of TodayPromises Of Today in Free Verse More Like This
Promises Of Today
The sands of time can be unpredictable
But to mold them is impossible
And being let down is typical
I, for one, know what it's like
Having that unrelenting doubt dwell inside
And withstanding all of those tears that aren't dried
With that said
I want to help you, my dear friend
For the hope of happiness is within the reach of your hands
I need to apologize for not always being there
It's because I have my own slate
But now I'm finally here
I'm sorry I'm late
I've been where you are
I've seen what you've seen
And I was able to break through the dark
But I'll go back for you, just to help you believe
That it can get better
If you truly want it to
The era of fear can be over
It just all depends on you
But I know
That not all of us are strong enough
And that's why a lot of people tend to let go
So I am here to lend my rough hands to help you up
You are so important
Even if you don't see it
You're such a wonderful person
So I know you deserve to make it through this
Time Is The CureTime Is The Cure in Free Verse More Like This
Time Is The Cure
Right hand of destruction
Left hand of creation
It's a never ending cycle
A fatal revival caught in a downward spiral
I tear down reality’s mask
As I build up a truth to give hope a chance
The veiled darkness decays
The guiding light fades
I let go of an old pain
As new tears wash it away
The sun always rises
The moon always sets
The rain subsides
The storm is put to rest
Clouds confide / Memories detest
Skies collide / Cries confessed
Light shines / Dark regrets
Pain hides / Peace professed
A new day awaits
An old night forgotten
Tomorrow I shall awake
To cradle what remains unbroken
I can't erase my mistakes
But I can't let them define my fate
There's always control
There's always faith to hold
Opposites are locked together
I am the sinner; I am the confessor
With time- comes change
Agony and serenity dawn a n
Our Numb TearsOur Numb Tears in Free Verse More Like This
Our Numb Tears
Something deep within me / Is longing for relief
A haunting aura around me / Reminding me of the grief
Scratching at the core of my soul / Hope is swallowed by a black hole
Locked in the center of my heart / All that is left is the traumatized part
Laugh, smile, blink, and focus. You just need to act as normal as possible.
You cannot let this pain get the best of you. Don't do anything irresponsible.
The damage you do to yourself also effects everyone else, so don't let it become irreversible.
You're being too hard on yourself, no one is perfect in life, you're only human, you're not invincible!
Shock waves of guilt enter my system / While a deathly peace is in the distance
And aftershocks of regret strike me down / I can't show that I'm hurt when they're around
Tremors of anxiety / Infest my entire body
Healing My HeartHealing My Heart in Free Verse More Like This
Healing My Heart
I thought a day like today would never come
When a sincere smile finally broke through
And I've grasped onto this sense of freedom
When I forged this connection with you
I was so deep into it
Thinking I never would get out
Being stuck in the past has made me into this
But now I hold my head up instead of facing down
Because of this, I've realize there's a difference between my tears
I used to only shed the ones for all of the mistakes I've made
Which I've cried for all of those long, and lonesome years
Until today, so I'm overwhelmed by the relief you gave
Undone, unvexed, unbroken
The difference is the forgiveness
Unbecome, unsilenced, unforgotten
The pieces have become painless
I waited for a night like tonight to arrive
When I could finally sleep so peacefully
And for once I have never felt so alive
When I found myself dreaming faithfully
I had no choice but to force my own hand
So I took that mass of hurt and made
In The SnowfallIn The Snowfall in Free Verse More Like This
In The Snowfall
I remember it
As if it was just last night
Our surroundings were lit
Illuminated by the surfaces covered in white
The way you smiled
It gave me comfort inside
And my heart seemed to be veiled
Knowing you have become a part of my life
Step by step
I stopped blinking
As we tread
I ceased breathing
Chills were sent
Our hands touching
Our lips met
Gazing at you is a must
You curiously peered up
As snowflakes danced down towards us
And it dawned on me that I was madly in love
Mesmerizing my soul
Spreading a calming warmth
Into my core
I held you in my arms
I felt whole
Connected our hearts
Alone no more
Within my eyes
I captured those images
To remember for the rest of our lives
Just to relive something so passionate
It was the perfect setting
I was lost in awe
A memory so desi
Sobriety's RiseSobriety's Rise in Free Verse More Like This
I exiled you from my veins
You will never affect me again
Take with you the very worst of me
I will no longer be a part of thee!
Too long have my eyes been closed
So many years have passed in vain
I couldn't let the road ahead get any worse
I'm no longer a victim of your taint
I dwell no more- in those old woes
Though I regret the pain I allowed myself to sustain
Mirrors don't snare / Family doesn't glare
This hope I bear / I've made it here
Cleansed my spirit away / Allowed scars to fade
Embraced the change / Unlocked the cage
My dreams no longer weep
The nightmares refuse to reimmerse
I can move forward if I really believe
I was able to get passed the hurt
'cause I forgave myself for being weak
I am not drowning myself anymore!
Deemed my recovered soul worthy
I accepted the gift of clarity
Today- I am alive
Watch me rise!
you may say i'm a dreamer, but i'm nota list of things i am not:you may say i'm a dreamer, but i'm not in Free Verse More Like This
no shitty ocean metaphors,
no poems about lovers and bones.
no girl with high school insecurities,
no misinterpreted radiohead lyrics
on the sidebar of a fifteen-year-old's blog.
a tea drinker, a book reader, a dreamer.
no dew drops of a saddened world
splashing on tin roofs or windowpanes.
no drawn out similes for depression or loss.
an ableist slur for the diagnosis of a mental illness,
starting with c and ending with y.
a lesbian. people are not their haircuts
or who they fall in love with.
no razored wrists and thighs.
no sick doggish romance.
no supermodel teen queen.
no irresistible object of sex and desire.
no poetess, no goddess,
but no less
than strengths and fallacies.
my bonny boyon the sunday you leftmy bonny boy in Free Verse More Like This
i gathered my things and
stood naked in my bedroom,
weeping, calling out to
everyone i had ever loved,
for they would never know the
weight of this pain;
it was the eighth of july,
and you left your heart on
the counter along with
your feelings for me.
and the seasons happened
as if they were love-drunk
and dating each other; there
were summer days in winter,
and winter days in spring.
i hurt as if i knew the definition
of the word and not the feeling.
the last time i saw you
was in a high school hallway,
black hair glossy in the
fluorescent light, lips pressed
to the sickly air.
your eyes drew mine in
and i saw the death in yours.
there are some people you
can pray for all you want,
but when the medication doesn't work,
there is no god.
sunday sleepsick,sunday sleep in Free Verse More Like This
thinking about calling out
of work tomorrow if this continues.
you haven't texted back,
i guess they're keeping you
i am lying in bed, where we have
loved and made love -
where we have cried and play-fought.
there are so many intangible pieces
of you tangled in my sheets and
staining my mattress, millions of
atoms and dust mites and cells,
so many so that for once i wish
they would all come together
and form a tangible you.
(but only so i could whisper
into your neck and hold you
in the dark universe of my room.)
for now, i have your shirt.
the one i've had for months.
it doesn't smell like your skin anymore,
but it smells like your deodorant and
belonging. it smells like comfort
and coming down from the heights
of orgasm, like love and hurt and
years to be.
i miss you -
- please spend the night with me.
flyover state, flyover heartthere's almost nothingflyover state, flyover heart in Free Verse More Like This
left of august, or me -
just fat, humid yawns that
cling to the asphalt and
vinyl sidings of houses
prettier than any autumn day.
chlorined kids rise from the
tanned wake of public pools,
clothed in school uniforms,
counting the new freckles
they've earned like war badges.
the nights i can lay in my
underwear beneath spider web
blankets while my wheezy fan
oscillates and whispers dusty
stories are numbered.
but i'll hold the moon
as it crests over summer's
dying vigil, my arms high
around it's wondrous girth.
i'll ride the heat into the
ashes of three months spent
dreaming in fevered euphoria.
i'll lead the impassioned
thousands down margins tucked
into a waning, wailing cry.
and i won't rest, even after
august is buried between blue
lined composition pages in a
coffin of lead - a memory with no
scent becoming one without a heartbeat.
interlopershow me god the way your motherinterloper in Free Verse More Like This
knew him, show me the mark on
your body where he stopped
you from suicide, where he changed
your winters to summers and
address me by my first name to show
me that your respect for me hasn't
died, letter by letter, buried between
the bow of your hips alongside our
once-strong playground love.
tell me the preacher was lying as he
spoke of our comely desire falling to
the destructive hand of a deity no one
has ever seen, but feels as they speak
in tongues that never matched the ones i
spoke in to finally tell you that
i felt for you.
don't leave me in some drunken tantrum
across state lines, slurring words as
you try to tell me your love for someone
else is vivid and living in you, even in the
parts that have died away, breathing out
alcohol as you use the word "never".
curl into me with intimacy, touching the sadness
out of me, because i always wanted to be
the one you love, not the one you loved.
collab: once and never moreshould we speak again,collab: once and never more in Free Verse More Like This
let it be known that these lips are no longer yours;
let it be known that i only love you
in my weakest moments
if i ever loved you at all
i no longer see through the looking glass
that once colored my world
with the pigment of my smoky resignation,
my settling for someone who tolerated me
i no longer live through nights of hurt,
your arrows in my back;
my undeserving blood spilt,
the body that was once yours now
any trace of you, i scrape from beneath my nail beds;
they're no longer a garden
for the pale electricity
of the roses that
matched your lips,
your snowfall skin
and despite my flowering regret,
traces of what was move past me in public places
and lay next to me in bed at night,
whispering to my still beating heart
in languages i'll never understand.
and i suppose that this is how we’ll leave each other;
just the way we did so many times before,
never as fully as we want to
as long as it's okay with youguitar lilting as i lookas long as it's okay with you in Free Verse More Like This
through the branches at
the eye of god,
indie crooner strikes a
i hope my hummingbird heart,
beating fast into your skin,
doesn't disturb your
desire for slumber.
i want to rest
inside lung lost smoke
wisps trailing into
ashes dead on my wrist.
i want to slip into
the bottom of the sea green
glass of water on the desk.
birds idly warbling
at the belly of the sky,
indie crooner loses his voice.
.in the night. in Free Verse More Like This
time you are
skin and stitches
you up with a
purer love, until
the morning comes,
the sun runs his
teeth through your
seams again, splits
.sometimes. in Free Verse More Like This
in my head
curl up in
the beat of
.i laid in the flowers and. in Personal More Like This
i listened to them hum,
i think i loved your hands
the most, even when they
flayed me to the bone
and i don't think i'm
supposed to talk about -
the devil, he said i've
lived one hell of a life,
you see, just read my
name out backwards,
and god ain't nothing
but a dog, so don't you
even go wasting your time
(i left my conscience pining outside the door)
.we are one and the. in Free Verse More Like This
same, that old willow and
me, we stand tall with the
scars that life gave us -
with the names of lovers
carved deep in our limbs,
and old burns from my
.i dream of drowning in. in Free Verse More Like This
lakes, belly up, a petal
shaped bruise of your thumb
on either wrist
i dream that what lays
in my bed is so much
more terrifying than what
lurks underneath it
.you forget that. in Free Verse More Like This
roses have thorns;
a prick of the
skin will tell you
that you're holding
her too tight