GOSH! Smash just came and went so quickly like a fart in your face, I'm kind of just sitting there like "woah did that really just-- what just happened"

I'm kind of too stingy ('kind of') to buy a sub, so I'm going to be difficult and link you to a tumblr post of my report with pictures and all here: [link]

EDIT: is forcing me to post pictures by buying me a sub, gosh what a rude guy!! jksjks thanks bro ;v;



Me with !

Thanks to everyone who stopped by my table during SMASH- whether to buy, look or just to say hi! Although, it was actually mostly who was manning my table, so if you remember a gorgeous hime-fringed girl, THAT WAS HER+*+*+

Even though I wasn't at my table much, throughout the time that I WAS there, I have to say that I am so glad to have SMASH as my last fan trading event. The crowd was just so friendly, and all the customers I met were all such lovely people. Thank you for making my last trading experience such a great one...!

Now, it's been a while since I've written a proper report, so please bear with me if it's a little less... coherent (not that they ever were--)

The adventure started on Thursday night. After work, I went straight to Box Hill to meet up with , Danh, Tim and James for dinner, as we were all staying over at ~snowbunnyluv's to head to the airport together in the morning.

I FORGOT HOW HORRIFYING LILY'S DRIVING WAS.

Everyone was in high spirits for some reason, and James realized he had no seat belt. I told the guys to hug each other in the back, but they decided tying an Ipod USB chord between the two head rests on our seats would make a MUCH better safety alternative.
James reached his arm out and pressed the honk, in which Lily slapped ME just because I was sitting next to her. THERE IS NO JUSTICE IN THAT CAR.

We spent the night watching Gaki no Tsukai and game shows involving Japanese men rubbing their asses on each others faces (I swear it wasn't that kind of show). We kept watching until 2am and I kind of really wanted to die.

One of the best things that happened at Lily's house was this:



Let me clarify something: Mr Mao (yes, that's the name of the cat) DOES NOT LIKE GIRLS. He only ever rubs himself against dudes and HISSED at me last time I came over. But while I was drawing a picture for , HE TAPPED HIS PAW ON MY ARM LIKE THAT ADORABLE POLITE CAT ON TUMBLR AND I ...I.... I think I saw heaven and now I'm just living in a dream. Yes.

Next day!

Arrived at the airport, everything's all dandy until we go and get our bags dropped off. There seemed to be a line for inquiries IN FRONT of the line for bag drop-offs, so we swerved around this line and finally reached the REAL queue we were looking for. It just so happened an old couple thought the previous line was for drop-offs too and were PRETTY pissed off that we had apparently cut in front of them. Lily being the cool as cucumber adult she is offered: "Well, you can go in front of us if you like" and the old woman stubbornly refused. Because apparently all she wanted was to throw a hissy fit that we had cut in line without actually caring about being served first..?? The elderly sure are confusing..!!

Thankfully we weren't seated next to this couple for the hour flight. When we touched down, I went to find . THE GODS WERE TESTING US....it was quite the quest to find her! But eventually we were united and -- good god, she is the most excitable and adorable thing you'll ever meet, and her bag of sweets and snacks still does not explain where she gets all that energy from.

We all took a cab to the Convention Centre, where we were once again faced with another seatbelt-less dilemma. It was pretty packed in the back, so it didn't really pose a problem. Danh was talking about the guy who was sitting next to us on the plane, and I noted:

"Yeah! He smelled like curry!"

And an awkward silent fell upon the cab.

...

I then noticed our Indian cab driver.

Lily broke the silence with:

"That's racist."

I SWEAR...

I WASN'T...

OH GOD. THE GUY I WAS TALKING ABOUT WASN'T EVEN INDIAN, IT WAS AN AUSSIE BLOKE WHO GENUINELY SMELLED OF CURRY...?? And now I looked like the racist jerk. At that point I feared the cab driver would veer us off Darling Harbour or something, but thankfully we arrived at the Convention Centre in one piece.

I went off to set up my table, where , and were already at the scene.



knows me too well.

Then again, she's looked after my table for many Animanias so she kinda knows too much.

We messed with ~AznCeestar's backing wall display by sticking her chibi Sherlock falling off the edge of her banner (I DON'T HAVE A PHOTO OF THIS, WHY)

At one point, while =Namie-kun was packing her bags, I slipped a plastic pocket of a few prints and a drawing of Hyuu I did for her the night before. A few seconds later she gave me the most terrifying hugs I've ever experienced.



I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WITH ME BEING HUGGED IN SYDNEY AND HURTING MY CHIN.
But she wouldn't stop jumping and I was absolutely terrified of biting my tongue, which would have been the most tragic death I would have never seen coming.

My suckage level was at its peak that weekend because I could hardly recognize ANYONE for some reason... the amount of times I had to say:

"Sorry...what's your name?" to a friend was rather embarrassing.

After setting up, I went to get Easyway drinks with and . I literally had to bite my fist from screaming at how cute =Namie-kun was when she was asking the guy at the counter on recommendations.

We met up with , and for dinner and had good food with some new friends too!

Everything was a blur that night except for messing around on Miyu's tweetdeck and solving a puzzle card that Nam gave me:



Do you even need a reason to punish me--



Oh, this is going to be fun



....WORTH IT

Behind it was a very sweet message, but that's for my eyes only u//v//u

The next morning was our Tsurugi brother's shoot. IT WAS REALLY COLD.....



"Let's find trees that don't make it look so Aussie..."
We tried.





longing gaze







TAIMU JYAMPUUU~!! +*+*+*+

Miyu's dad was very kind to drive us to the convention centre too because we were running late;;

I noticed =alysael walking towards the venue from the car:



I WAS SO EXCITED. I didn't get to see her until the second half of the day though!



FAMILY PICTURE+*+*+

There was a lot of money throwing as usual since my friends never learn that I don't accept money from them. and came around AND BROKE MY REP OF STUFFING MONEY DOWN PEOPLES' CLOTHES... they devised a clever strategy of getting me to sign a print, slipped their money into my suitcase-- BUT I FOUGHT BACK:



(Okay, I intended to just trap her but it looks like I kicked her in the royal crotch--)

Alas, my plan was flawed:



(Kya, Jess touching my ankle//)

Cherri also managed to stuff a coin into my SHOE of all places!!

ANYWAY! I can't really write anything in chronological order from this point onwards because the very nature of conventions is just CHAOS. But I met a lot of cool and sweet people, also seeing old friends again!

I was totally spoiled that weekend:



(That Angry Little Girls plushie I bought for myself though, but I wouldn't have found her if it weren't for suddenly calling me up and yelling ANGRYLITTLEGIRLSPLUSHIEGOTTABUYONENOWWW)



~Pet-chan gave me a pink alpaca plushie, which now I name YUUUUUUUKAAAAAAAAA
And I've yet to think of a name for the cat plush that Nam gave me ; v ; ...its ears are really soft!



~Black-Nataku and ~AznCeestar pinned these onto my wall while I was away LOL <3



Cee's chuuruuugiiiii ;v; <3



A portrait and BMO bookmark from :iconnotawallet:!!
A comment on twitter somehow became a trend that I am now associated with BMO.



I bought these from Blythe's table too- SHE WAS SO KIND TO SAVE THE BMO ONE FOR ME ;0; !!! These are now hanging on my pencil case!



Adorable SMASH BROS bookmark from ~lian-ne!



IKEMEN NII-SAN drawing from !



CRAZY GORGEOUS CARD from <a href="[link]>Cathy! She also made Miyu a matching one with Fubuki on it!

It was really fun meeting , <a href="[link]>Cathy! and Mandy! (oh god I hope I got your names right PLEASE CORRECT ME IF I DIDN'T...) We had a little photoshoot going on next to Miyu's stall haha. (Hey girls, if you can see this, send us a few pics, yeah?! ;D)



also gave me a copy of her iGO gag doujin- GOD I LOVE THIS GIRL'S SENSE OF HUMOUR. You know you've a gift of hilarity if you can make me laugh when I can't even read the written language of your comics. IT'S THAT GOOD.



I LOST MY SHIT WHEN I SAW THE BACK

Again, thank you, THANK YOU to everyone for making my weekend such a fun and wonderful experience!! I'm sorry if I didn't mention you all who I caught up with- I actually had a bunch of dot points with names like RYYYYYY, KYUUUUUU, DANNNNNYYY, BRENDAAAAAA, SALLLLLYYY, MEEEEEEEEEEELLL, STRAAAAAWWWWW, SUUUUUUUUU, KAIIIIYAAAAAAAAAA, MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD ETC. but I KIND OF HAVE A LOT OF PEOPLE I LOVE AND I CAN'T POSSIBLY LIST YOU ALL (and that is definitely not all the names just sayin')

It's only just sunk in that, that was my last event I'll be selling my art in, and I just want to thank everyone who has supported me throughout all these years of fantrading- not only through buying my things, but also just coming by my table, having a chat and really making my tabling experience so special that it had me hung onto this commitment for so long. I won't forget everyone's kindness, my friends who helped me manage my table, friends who actually fed me when I didn't have time to buy food for myself, and supporters who left kind messages in my guestbooks and even gifts

I won't miss the stress of printing malfunctions and staying up 'til ungodly hours at the guillotine cutting bookmarks, but I will definitely miss seeing all the lovely supporters and customers who make all that labour worth it. It really is special to be able to meet face-to-face with the wonderful people who have contributed in building my confidence as an artist- you are all such warm and generous individuals, I just hope I was able to express my gratitude properly in our meetings.

This isn't goodbye to conventions for me, but I will hopefully be amongst the crowd with you all next time, and maybe our meetings won't be so rushed and short! In regards to Manifest, I am not sure if I will be attending at all (depends if I can nab tickets off a friend...) but I'll definitely give you guys a notice if I am

Once again, thank you for all the great memories as a fantrader...! Hope to see you all at another event in the future!

I'm gonna say this before I rant...
This is something that is more suited for tumblr or Facebook. Either or...but...I dunno. It just seems like something I should put on deviantArt instead.

Anyway, lets begin:

What is bravery anyway?

In movies, bravery is shown as fighting dragons or evil creatures, shouting at your worst enemy or throwing yourself in the line of fire for your friend/boyfriend/girlfriend/family's sake.

Well....yeah, that is bravery, I guess.

But being brave can mean a lot of things. It can mean trying new experiences, even if you doubt yourself every step of the way. It can mean asking a teacher a question, when you don't want to seem stupid or make a fool in front of everyone. It can be putting up your hand in class to answer a question, despite the fact that some people will think of you as being smart or trying to show them up. It can be stepping on stage to receive something you've worked so hard for, even though you're terrified at the thought of people even looking at you.

All of those things are acts of bravery.

Heck, we all see bravery every day.

I see people get up and go to school, even though I know from a glance that they'd rather be anywhere else on that particular day. I see people stand up and say 'Enough is enough', even at the cost of losing their friends. I see other people at my school walk alone, happy with their own company, not caring that they don't have a group of friends to hide behind and feel protected with. I see people go up and tell their crushes how they feel, even if they know for the life of them that they're going to be rejected.

That's being brave. Holy heck that is being brave.

Because being brave isn't something you're born with, it's something you have to teach yourself. All those confident people you see on stage, singing their hearts out or reading speeches? You know all those times you wished you were them? Well, you are them. They've just learnt to act confidently. They're just as insecure as everyone, but they've learnt to block those thoughts, or push them to the side in order to reach success. They've learnt to be brave .

And really, what exactly is being brave? Tell me, in one sentence, what being brave is. Because I can't answer you. I'm sure a lot of you guys can probably answer that question easily; admit it, you have an answer for me right now. But...to me, being brave is different for everyone. Everyone has a different idea of being brave. Whether it is slaying dragons, leading a rebellion, standing up for your dignity, breaking down your walls to let people in, or even wearing something daring in public.

Well...I don't know exactly what being brave is, but I've sure as heck taught myself to be just a little bit braver.

I've looked someone in the eyes and smiled at them. Which is something I was incapable of doing since as long as I can remember. I've told someone I've had enough of them constantly casting me out, like I'm worthless. I've told someone that I liked them, knowing that they'd never like me back in the same way. I've dared to make mistakes in my worst classes, and for once, I haven't cried or felt like a failure when I got it wrong, because a little voice in my head has started to encourage me to keep trying. A little voice that was smothered for many, many years.

I'm gonna be honest with you guys and say that I am confidently walking down a path that is leading to nowhere. I don't know where I'm gonna be in life. I don't know who I'm gonna be in the next 5 years. I don't know if I'll still have the same friends I do now, or if I'll have any friends at all. And the fact of not knowing my future used to scare me.

But now I've started to realise, that where ever I'll end up in the future, I'll still, in a way, be me. I won't be someone else's description of me, and I won't be who I think I am...but I'll still be me.

And that is why I think I've become braver, even if it is just a little. Because I've learnt to not take crap from anyone. I've learnt to do things I want to do, even if others think I can't do it. I've learnt to take things at my own pace, and heck, I've succeeded because of it. I've learnt that rejection isn't always the worst thing in the world. And I've learnt that sometimes, taking a step out of your comfort zone can be just the thing you need to get yourself going. Because once you've done it, you realise that being afraid isn't so scary.  In fact, it's how we grow as people; we learn what not to be afraid of. Because fear really is only something our mind has created.

And being brave is embracing that fear and tackling it head on, isn't it?