Two Sides Of MeThere is a Yin-Yang inside my heart.Two Sides Of Me in Free Verse More Like This
It swims in unity within me.
This curse I bear will never part,
There are always two sides to what I see.
One side of me is filled with pride,
And wants to stay strong and fight.
The other just feels empty inside
And wants to never see the light.
One side of me wants to help others out,
To make promises unanimously together.
The other is full of unavoidable doubt
Remaining in the dark and hiding forever.
One side of me wants to be joyful,
To encourage and testify with zeal.
The other wants to rip everyone to shreds,
And make wounds that no one can heal.
One side wants to be strong in times of fear,
And overcome all suffering and grief.
The other wishes that the end would be here,
Knowing there is no life to chreish underneath.
One side of me yearns for constant truth,
To understand myself more and more...
But lies have become a part of my youth,
So I just cover my ears and close the door.
One side of me desperately wants to be noticed
To feel conten
YouI really hate you.You in Free Verse More Like This
I look at you,
And although you smile,
I can't smile back.
You make me feel so vile.
I look at you,
With your sick little act,
Trying to be innocent.
But you're a lie,
You too have been bent.
I watch you,
With your weak steps.
You look like you're dying,
But you're very alive,
So I know that you're lying.
I turn away from you,
And you turn away too.
I see your heart with dismay,
You are disgusting,
And you will always be that way.
I try not to think about of you,
But you're always here.
You have invaded my mind.
No matter how I try to blot you out,
You erase everything else I find.
Your act will surely kill you,
With you unsure of yourself.
I clearly see that this won't end well,
With your acts and lies,
In the end, the truth will be hard to tell.
My hate and rage surges at you,
You disgust me with all my heart.
I reach to hit you, to make you see,
That you are the biggest bother,
But I only hit the mirror in front of me.
DisappearingI cannot feel.Disappearing in Free Verse More Like This
I have been shut down.
I am like the walking dead,
And I cannot turn around.
I am waiting for the day
When I will finally disappear.
But as of now I stand and watch,
As everyone else's ends draw near.
Emotionless I forever stand,
Never understanding anyone.
Happiness and sadnees mean the same,
As if ice were the same as the sun.
People around me cry for me,
But I cannot cry for myself.
The emotion I show is forcefully projected,
Because inside do not seek help.
People everywhere laugh around me,
But I do not know how to join in.
What do we know that makes us truly happy?
What joy do we search for within?
I am emotionally shut down,
I simply examine the world from afar.
Who is to say that I will ever beome affected?
How does anyone know who they really are?
I decided to remain cold after watching the world,
I know that I am better off this way.
It will be easier to survive, and then disappear...
Will I awaken before then?
Will I eve
It's Our DecisionPeople say fate makes us who we are,It's Our Decision in Free Verse More Like This
But I don't believe in fate.
There is no telling what becomes of us,
There's no knowing of who we'll come to hate.
From the beginning we are clueless,
And we think life is great,
Until our hope and happiness is taken away,
And we're left in a comatose state.
Some people don't understand or care,
About the things that happen to us.
We're crying in our hands and begging on our knees,
But there is no one whom we can trust.
They ignore us and say that we're stupid,
Maybe drugged, maybe even delirious.
Can't we just be who we are and avoid this?
But it is hard to find what is just.
We are locked alone, without a home,
The bitter poison begins tasting sweet.
No one cares, so why not?
I could be gone in a heartbeat.
But there's always one thing that keeps us here,
Maybe a person whom we might meet.
So we have to make our own decision;
Choose victory for life, or witness our own defeat.
Forever Sleep...This state that I am inForever Sleep... in Free Verse More Like This
Seems unexplainable to me.
There is nothing that I seek,
Nothing that I desire to see.
I just want to close my eyes,
And forget about the world.
I want to find something good,
But there is nothing here for sure.
I want everything to go away,
I want everything to disappear.
To no longer be bound by life,
To no longer deal with things here.
I want to become stronger,
To overcome my fears forever,
But that is impossible,
The chances of that are never.
I feel so empty and useless,
My weakness overcomes my soul.
I do not have the strength to go on,
My hopelessness is at toll.
I just want to make everything go away
And make everything bad dissolve,
But all I can do is fail at trying to sleep
Because life is a case that I cannot solve.
Though in my sleep I can go far away,
I am content and secure.
I can walk far and not become tired,
I never feel lost or unsure.
But thisis life.
And that is a dream.
There are no tunnels out.
Nothing is what it seems.
But I want to fore
NightmaresNightmares take over controlNightmares in Free Verse More Like This
feeling things that i never wanted to feel
Nightmares make me stay awake
never have a good rest, always voices inside my head
My mind takes over control
I break out crying, that nobody will hear my screams
What do these nightmares tell me?
why does it control every part of me?
Sleep is my worse fear
never being able to rest
but I let my mind take control
hearing all the voices around me...
Nightmares ruin my life
making everything turn to hate
The pain that is burden deep inside me
when will my Life fade away?
Our love is TrueMy mind is blown awayOur love is True in Free Verse More Like This
by the thoughts that are so deep
deep within my soul
My mind has drifted away
All I can think about
is the love you have for me
how I cherish it forever
how I will always remember
The day you became Mine
was the day I lost my breath
Knowing that someone loves me
was the best feeling of all
My mind is drawn to you
as I think about you all day long
No more bad memories is left
cause with you I have peace within me
Love all around
this world we all live in
The darkness pass me by
as you became my Light
My mind is drifting away
away from the Bad
cause now I know what is real
and our love is true to all
Starless NightMurky sky, why do you hide the stars from meStarless Night in Free Verse More Like This
Why must you coat the sky in inky blackness, smudging out those diamonds of the night
Let me see the constellations, oh so dear to me
Give me back the starry sky that lets me remember so much
Let me have my first stars wish, that i do so desire
Bring back my midnight delight, a sky gilded and wrought with light
The city sky, chocked and mired in mans fetid breath
The country night, the air still smells of peace as the winds of man war has not yet reached it, leaving the sky still filled with glittering wants
The suburban sky, here man battles with nature, his death dealing fumes slowly choking away my precious stars
Now, which do you prefer, my dear children, a night sky full of wishes and wants but with no one to enjoy them with
A sky completely void of all dreams and hopes, but so many who you can share
Or a sky that still retains some of its former glory, with a few of the ones you love, to share its dulling jewels
WingsPain sears across my back, splitting me in two, both screaming, both laughingWings in Free Verse More Like This
"SOMETHING IS GROWING, SOMETHING IS HURTING" one screams, raking my nails across my shoulders, leaving bloody furrows across my skin
"yes, something wonderful, something that lives" the other cried in elation,tentatively reaching my hands behind my head, reaching for the new flesh, caressing it gently
" CUT IT OFF, IT HURST SO BAD" one screeched, my nails growing into claws, canines lengthening into wicked fangs
"no, let it grow, let it thrive" the other cooed, my skin glowing a ghostly pale and my eyes turning into burning white stars
" I WANT IT GONE, I WONT IT OUT OF ME" one bellowed, my voice deepening,my skin fading into ever blacker night
"i want it to flourish, i want it to evolve" the other murmured, my voice becoming harder and harder to hear, fading in and out
"WhAt Is HaPpEnInG, WhY DoEs It hUrT? WhAt Is GrOwInG iNsIdE oF mE?" i screach, the two voices melding into one again, then splitting v
BullyHit me with your fetid wordsBully in Free Verse More Like This
Stab me with your poisoned speech
Strip me naked and stake me out for all to see
But you will never break me
Skin me with your hated arrogance
Smash me with your bloody fists
Crucify me before all and stone me
But you will never change me
Judge MeJudge me not by were I have beenJudge Me in Free Verse More Like This
Judge me not by the color of my skin
Judge me not by the clothes I wear or by the way I speak
Judge me not by the scars that mar my skin, from so many a blade kissing my flesh
Judge me not by the ribbon that wraps around my neck, a reminder of what I have done and what I will never do again
Judge me not by the ink that colors my flesh, which tells a story across my skin
I am not defined by things you can see, by things you can hear, by things you can smell
I am made from sterner stuff that you can see, hear, or smell
I am not what you know from the past, a boy stuck in stagnant stinking depression
I am not what you see on the surface, a happy Young Man, always joking, always their
I am a protector that you never need
I am a big brother that is never their
I am a friend that only wants you to be happy
I am Nicholas Todd Gackenbach and that is all that I ever will be and i am happy with that