Sorry SometimesSorrySorry Sometimes in Free Verse More Like This
For the nasty words I said,
For the way it hurt you, I know it did.
That I didn't think before I spoke,
I turned our time into a joke.
That I let my emotions get the best of me
That it cost me the most important thing to me
That things aren't the way they used to be
That I lashed at you when I was only mad at me.
You don't like the things I do,
I always cross the line.
We always end up in a fight
To you I just can't do anything right.
I'm too far from an angel, cept maybe an angel from hell.
It hurts for me to swallow my pride
I'm often too blindsided by anger to see your side.
I don't meet your expectations
Sometimes I can't fight all these temptations.
I don't always walk upright
I want to see you every night.
I was never good enough
All I wanted was your trust.
You can't look past my imperfections.
To you I was never worth the mention.
For all the
LoveLoveLove in Free Verse More Like This
Unrequited oft times,
Bitter stabbing denial, hurts.
A girl called MorphineShe's twitching in the cornerA girl called Morphine in Free Verse More Like This
Coming down from her buzz.
There's a prescription bottle in her hand
I can see her mind turning wheels for once.
I know she doesn't want to do it
But the burn is all she craves.
She never wanted to be a looser,
Somehow it's all she became.
Her eyes whip back and forth
To see who would notice her leave.
She takes a breath, get's to her feet.
The bottle clutched to her heaving chest
She shuts the bathroom door.
The sound of the lock so loud
Inside the four by four little room.
She empties the bottle on the counter
Counting them in two's.
Her life doesn't really matter
So she crushes all sixteen.
With quick precision she lines
The powder into rows of three.
Fumbles in her pocket for a dollar,
Up her nose she swallows every one.
The morphine hits her quickly,
On the floor she falls, she twitches.
Unable to scream,
She'd changed her mind,
The drug took over
Silently she cried,
She fades away from reality.
UnsureI don't know where we're goingUnsure in Free Verse More Like This
Or even if a future for us exists
You stand me up more than you
Lay me down, makes me wonder
Why I even want you around.
It's hard to love a man who's
Yet it's hard to care
About that when I'm in your arms.
I don't want to smother you
I just don't feel I get enough of you
Your like a disease
Like I need you to live
I fear constantly that one
Of us will get fed up
And we'll go our separate ways.
Sometimes I wish I had the guts to say
Everything that's on my mind
But I always hold my tongue
Only letting my tears fall when
My backs to you and I walk
Lover's letterYou asked me not to hate youLover's letter in Free Verse More Like This
Begged in fact.
I think secretly it's what
You want of me.
Cause you're telling me lies
Fucking with my mind.
I know you're messing around on me
I see the story perfectly baby
I'm not as blind as you want me to be.
Though I'm not yours
Your not mine.
Why be a hypocrite?
For when you leave me alone
I seek those that want my time!
Morning, noon and night.
I was true for such a long time, to you.
You know i've never been faithful to anyone
In my twenty-six year lifetime.
But I was,
Although with your cruel words
And noxious ways, your coming late and leaving early's
Wouldn't be so bad if we had a schedule of when you'd roll in,
You buried that, my being true to you.
Just like soon you'll be burying this
Attraction I have for you....
After Burn GlowsYou handed over controlAfter Burn Glows in Free Verse More Like This
Let yourself be in the submissive role.
I crowed in delight, now was my night,
Torturing you with pleasure my right.
The control was short lived
Just like the bonds you broke with a flick of the wrist.
Damn, babe you don't know how sexy that is
Your strength a turn on I can't describe.
Ironic that I love it considering all I've been through.
Even with your hands around my neck, I'm not scared
I get thrilled, it send Delicious little chills
That zap me in parts I won't mention.
I'm seated, glorying in my power,
Cowgirl on a role, It's time for you to slip
Into dominate control.
I don't give up my perch willingly,
Effortlessly you dethrone me,
Even as I grumble I bask in your prowess.
You tease me mercilessly
Prolonging your release,
But give mine to me.
You force me to your goal
While your at the forty yard line,
Covered in my satisfaction
For you it's touchdown time.
And we lay, I on my stomach
You on your side,
Trailing fingertips up and down my spine.
The song you'll never hearThe song you'll never hear in Free Verse More Like This
I have emerged from my shell of anger and hate,
Only to realize it was a transformation too soon.
I've been searching for a way back in for some time now
But your face taunts me into being better than I ever was.
I am really lost in life, not figuratively but literally, gone.
although there aren't a lot of places i'd rather be,
it can't really be right here without it being me,
maybe i'm not in the strictest sense, gone,
maybe i was never here, or i never left for long,
but knowing me, i'm never right, i'm always wrong,
It's like I'm stuck inside some never ending song
As the lyrics carry on and on I become further involved.
I've not been where I need to be in so long,
The road back out of this chorus to me is lost.
I used to love the words, but now I feel I'll drown in them.
it was just a temptation to write more and more,
and with every word my quill spelled out left me with a rotten core,
i look back on everything that i love about you,
Motel room confessionsIt's become a habit of mineMotel room confessions in Free Verse More Like This
Stale air in dusty motel rooms.
Half lit cigarettes,
Sample bottles of
Jack, Crown, Jager.
Warm naked body against my own.
He's sure a looker
Almost hate to wake him but it's time for him to go.
If only I could remember his name
I guess it's really not important
As tomorrow I'll replace him with another face.
Distant seas of tangled flesh
Liquor scented dirty sex.
They are so easy these creatures
I don't give my name so
They gave one to me.
They call me Diva, Cougar,
Lady in red.
Matters little to me as I know we'll wind up
In an over used seedy bed.
In every pair of eyes
I look for the ones I'm trying to drown.
It's been three years now
And he's never been found.
I guess what I'm really trying to do
Is loose myself.
I wake him
And grab another bottle from the shelf.
There is pain in truthThe hours clock by, my eyes glued to the screen.There is pain in truth in Free Verse More Like This
Waiting, willing your name to appear.
My heart kicks when it does, surpassing legal speed limits.
Two days have dragged on by, every name but the one
I crave has chosen to appear.
To say I'm miserable at best would be a gross understatement.
I'm aching for you, your words, your voice, your arms,
No others will suffice. Mistakes fall from my lips,
As I fall from your grace. I've never been perfect.
Tell me should I quit? Have I become too much for you
To deal with? Don't worry about the pain your answer will inflict.
Ignorance may be kind, but I find the truth a more comfortable pain.
I'd rather know than make of myself a bigger fool.
So tell me baby, do you want me to cease the fight?
To just go quietly into the dark night?
That way you could strike me from your mind
As If I'd never been apart of you, no crime.
A last glimpse of promiseHe looks at me with tear filled green eyesA last glimpse of promise in Free Verse More Like This
Whispers on broken sobs "But I love you!"
Why do I feel guilty for not loving him back?
The truth is loving someone makes no difference
If they don't feel the same.
So why utter those damning words
When you know saying them won't change a thing?
Awkwardly I try to comfort this man I care for as a friend
Saying empty platitudes
"I enjoy spending time with you"
If you want love, hun I can say this
"I love being under you, while your screwing me."
He's so sensitive, so sweet
A joy to be around really
Why oh why can't I love this man
Who is in love with me?
I will have to break his tender heart,
Tragic, as he has so much potential.
I would give anything to make my heart beat for him
As he would give me everything he had to give.
But my fickle heart it beats for another
One who is undeserving of my love.
He drags me through heartache
With it or not at all.I have heard it whispered of broken ribs,With it or not at all. in Free Verse More Like This
and cages of hearts that grow from words.
I have seen the winds of sorrow blow in fall,
and scatter toadstools across your mouth.
I have talked in joy about sleepless nights,
and hurt and ached as the sun has risen.
I have learned of holes in space and time and
ripped my throat apart on pulling threads.
I have thought of times that never will exist,
and have held you captured in drunken eyes.
But never once did I dream of lovers shattering apart
or wandered in lavender scents over stars that died.
Wishing once more..I stayed up for you, I waited all night,Wishing once more.. in Free Verse More Like This
I stayed here in the way that you always wanted me,
Waiting for a little sign, that this was the place you want,
That this is what you want again.
I drew notes in wispy purple clouds, and hung them outside,
I hung them so that you would know my heart,
Maybe you would look hard enough for once,
Maybe you would see what is below this surface.
I knew you liked my scent, so I made it clean and pure for you,
I wanted you all to myself, I wanted you alone in my bed,
But would you be there for long? I never knew, I still don't know,
Maybe it will be that there is space for you here forever.
So I drew hearts on stone, and let the words echo the sky,
and longed in whispers, and watched to catch your eye,
And so as that sun rose, over the distant sea, over the hills in technicolour dreams,
I was wishing once more that we were beginning again, just as beautifully as that sunrise.
I don't know the answerNo matter how unbearable this misery gets,I don't know the answer in Free Verse More Like This
you are forbidden to take the easy way out,
think of the darkness that resides between broken veins,
and know that you can never match it.
Self conclusion is not the way to break free,
it only brings about more pain and greater misery,
think of the darkness that resides between shattered storms,
and know that you can't feel that bad.
You are never supposed to act on it,
this impulse that flows through your brain,
to let your heart bleed out as your life washes down the drain,
and you know you won't scream.
Because life to you is nothing but one big bad dream,
and even though the world tends to get rough,
the skin on your hands and feet just need to get tough,
to push through the pain and walk away.
And maybe you shall smile again, another day.
You Can and I Can.You can walk many paths for as long as the wind blows,You Can and I Can. in Open More Like This
You can dance through illusions, for as long as the sun shines,
You can sing praises of beauty for as long as there is life,
But you would never know the peace of heaven.
You can swim every ocean, until they all dry up,
You can run up every mountain, till they are scoured away,
You can kiss the gentle lips of a new born, until the last is gone,
But you would never know the pain of hell.
For those that will be, will now and will forever be,
Drawn through the ages, souls wandering for all time.
In the realms as they are, through the time as it is,
they must follow their path as the fates did decree.
So why fight so hard? Why draw a single breath more?
because the world still spins, and love and happiness,
could be found anywhere, even within the kiss of light on a puddle,
even within the smallest grain of dirt, as long as you look hard enough.
The World Shattered.Glass falls around me,The World Shattered. in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
It sounds like the cries of angels.
It sounds like the crack of promises,
like the breaking of simple joys.
Metal grinds itself around me,
It sounds like the crushing of hopes.
It sounds like the running of demon claws,
like the tearing of wholeness.
Darkness calls to me,
It sounds like the thunder.
It sounds like the thrashing of wings,
like the beating of my own heart.
Air is all that willing enters,
pushing in through the pain.
Blood, vomit and gases cover me,
the world spins in blackening red.
I never knew what it was
to have your world shatter,
But in that simple single instant,
I gained the wisdom of a lifetime.
A Cry and A prayer.I heard your cries, echoing in the dark,A Cry and A prayer. in Free Verse More Like This
Alone you sat in the middle of that park,
And there I bowed my head,
As there I wanted to rest my weary bones,
And there I asked the heavens for something,
Something that is so hard to do,
Something that is so hard to even begin.
And I let this be my prayer,
The one wish I want to grant,
That I could repaint the world for you,
In colours of love, warmth and grace,
From the oceans of tears that have run
with slithering gait down your face.
For there is sadness enough for me,
I don't wish anyone else to feel it,
And this heart of mine, which gives love so free,
Doesn't know when to stop and quit,
Even when the gods have never seemed to answer my prayer before.
DrowningThe key to dying or livingDrowning in Free Verse More Like This
is it's my choice.
My heart is broken
yet I'm smiling through the pain.
My heart is broken
and I'm drowning,
drowning in my tears that have spilled out.
I am drowning in self pity
losing myself in my sorrows.
My heart is broken and
I'm dying, I feel so irreparable
but believe it or not
I know I hold the key,
the key to this life of mine,
and the key to its death as well.
Diamonte attempt 2 TogetherDiamonte attempt 2 in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Flowing across heaven
In waves, in streams
Drowning in silence
ImbroglioYou drew little kisses up my spine,Imbroglio in Free Verse More Like This
and let me know that I was yours and you were mine.
Morning sunshine sparkled on hill tops, ruby red,
as I broke the spell that held us together in this bed.
Elixirs, potions, chants and magick
Not even these could make us forget the habit.
You know the little thing called life, the outside world.
But how I wish to draw the shades, and loose myself within your arms unfurled.
Swindler, charmer, snake oil man, you have been called so much,
and yet I have been drawn to your eyes, your smile, your touch.
why does it not hurt me when I am pierced by your gaze?
and the world seem to stand still when you fill my days?
Liqueur burns my throat, but you alone make me drunk.
Intoxicated from the hazy, heavy, headed symptoms of your touch.
Amaretto kisses from brandy coated eyes, vanilla flavoured love.
Your whiskey skin tastes a gentle surprise.
You make me linger in ecstasy each moment better then drugs,
but you are so wrong, why can't I enjoy other's hugs?
I want..I want you to pick me apart,I want.. in Free Verse More Like This
so that you can find the love buried in me,
to know that this heart had your name tattooed on it.
I want you to slip into dreams,
so that for once I can put you on the pedestal you deserve,
and let you be the ruling power.
I want you to close my eyes,
so that I can remember the perfect moments we shared,
with so much clarity and vision.
I want you to linger with shallow pleasures,
loosing themselves like butter upon your tongue,
souvenirs of better times, of rich love.
I want to wake up and find you,
enclosed in my arms, lost in this world of shadowed light,
and linger for a moment while I stare at how perfectly our bodies align.
I want above all else one thing,
the thing the gods deem more powerful then stars,
I want your love.