Made with deviantART muroIn the shadows of the eve, when the moon is height, and all distractions leave. You can oft find that with ease, ones resolve just tends to leave...
Blaah I'm not in the mood for finishing rhymes... I should be asleep, but I'm in such a foul mood, and I don't like it.
I don't like being weak. Everyone is at times... and honestly, it just to me seems like just letting yourself be over taken with sadness is easier. It seems like if you just give up more people care, and its so much easier.
I know its not true. I hate that mentality. The ugliness, the falseness of it. I know I have so much love around me... Or at least I feel like I do, and even if it wasn't real, I have so much love within me, and giving my heart to the people that I want to see happy is all I need.
But some days I just think myself into shattering the reality I have created.
No matter how sure I am of my resolve, my strength... It all just crumbles so easily. Seemingly for no reason at all.
I just want to be happy .
I can smile and smile and smile... and will myself as much as I like... but no matter what... This dark feeling. It always rears its ugly head.
Like its got me wrapped in its coils and these moments of happiness I feel are only this... Darkness... Letting me feel happy, only to reel me back in and remind me that I belong to it.
But its not true.
I fought too hard, too long, to convince myself that I wanted to be happy and that I would be, and I won't belong to any ugly feelings trying to grip at me. I fought too hard to convince myself that there was so much worth living for, too much for me to waste time in grief no matter how much physical grief or mental anguish.
Let me be a peace.
Let me fall back into the eternal blue.
That happy place.
Let me be.