any number of permutationschasing the jabberwokany number of permutations in Free Verse More Like This
[we could never be]
more aware of the passing of time
than where we are right now
standing; in the ruins in the dark
but we can not remain/as these monoliths forever
is a stretch to the search for
away from the intolerable
vibrations in this place
and a touch like frogs in a dynamite pond
biogenesisthe nascent stages of efficiency bringbiogenesis in Free Verse More Like This
sentient cages designed to mute
that dark nerve we just can't seem to breed out
so let's dig it all up
the sharpened itch of molecular shovels
balancing bare knuckles and
in laboratories cooking
classical mutations linked
inextricably to the world being eaten clean
(the) scenic routedigging through tar pits(the) scenic route in Free Verse More Like This
we were Castro reading
yellowed Hemingway by a bilious sea
a thundering herd
a cold snap cracked our
chicken little sky
we thought we had routines for the end of the world
but all the hospital beds full
and the War not yet started
noceboswimming in paintnocebo in Free Verse More Like This
virgin genius unbathed
just can't seem to lock-in
the right electrical impulse
mosaic organs inflammed
unmuzzled and lame
and constrained by this neophyte
that's been flushed with synthetic religion
as my crawling skin fends for itself
a mild beast on the shelf
and my decathect screams
of endless cracks in the paulestrine's pavement
how to get out of limbo aliveexceptions have been madehow to get out of limbo alive in Free Verse More Like This
in a bowl with some well beaten eggs
and used to sharpen blades
machines so simple even us dimpled
fools can flaunt their sway
born in swamps and
sipping wormwood lemonade
contrived to wonder
what real harm
infinity can do anyway
brontophobiawe played the habit of fools wellbrontophobia in Free Verse More Like This
honey-trapping vagrant meteors at midnight
and no celestial maiden was safe
from our far off glares ravened
... from a vitreous sure in eugenic skies
scions of a lesser order
always glass eyes where the lightning strikes
painting by imaginary numberthe dots always connect looking backwardspainting by imaginary number in Free Verse More Like This
it's getting them to align in the forefront that's the trick
seeing past the supercells and motherships
past the things carved in caves and cages,
the faustian and fustian,
the exogenous and endogenous -
to the clarity of imperfectly
hand drawn lines
disenfranchised; pluripotent and aching
to feel the finality of every fold
the end of dreamseverybody dies,the end of dreams in Free Verse More Like This
but it's the way you go out that kills,
so no more hard light;
i wanna dream some noise
with all of my predator's heart
stripped down to a single
screaming neuron of pain
i want to sleep -
and make myself over and over and over....
stripped to the simplest
core of an atom
translucid and molecularly untamed
fluid definitionsit's strangefluid definitions in Free Verse More Like This
how i fully understand the fever of forever
the seized spectrum of temporal
waves washing me back to the ocean
but the ocean cares not
for the pavonine passing of time
the ones described to surpass me
and it's all
just the wind and staring
the serpentine sun in the
so i welcome this clutch
to the edge of an eggshell abyss
where the fever breaks
just beyond forever
an intangible pink mist
isolationismwe've milked this marsh dryisolationism in Free Verse More Like This
beamed its gnostic gospel ad-
nauseum to the edge of the moon
a hangnail in the neon sky
above nomads recalling
soft shades of pathos defeated
and all else that's needed to engender giants
and tomorrow we'll entertain
(in our neat, impermeable bubbles)
offers of weather for sale from
the disturbingly tangible things we've seen
behind our eyes closed tightly
on making it countwhen the cracks in my palms wanted toon making it count in Free Verse More Like This
leak secrets like loose faucets, i resisted
stitching them back together with people
who did not deserve me.
i pressed my hands against a mirror, told
the glass to read all that i had been through,
and disregarded the response.
i won myself over like a trophy,
left my body crumbled in a heap
on the cold tile of the shower,
built myself back up again.
my eyes left salt water streaks across my
pillowcase and i didn't do the laundry for
weeks to trick myself into moving on.
i wavered between wanting the impossible
and expecting the inevitable.
i created all of my tomorrows by holding on
as if there wouldn't be any.
the art of leavingtimes like this, i am convinced that we were just faking it,the art of leaving in Free Verse More Like This
how we traded dreams and comfortable anatomy
for secrets and messy closets.
it is nothing less than an unmistakable truth
that our coils are curled around each other
like infantile fingers:
all passion for passing time, no direction or destination.
we were consumed by our desire for warmth,
by our shared ability to extract smiles and steady breathing.
we taught each other the art of leaving
and because of this,
my name jitters caffeinated on your tongue.
i am combing through my bed sheets
in hopes of finding the salt i shed
to decorate my wounds with stings.
the process of healing is one i am continuously beckoned into perfecting.
i have already tricked myself into believing i do not need you;
i have already forgotten the shape of your face.
peculiar proceduresthe anatomy of your lips, the force of thepeculiar procedures in Free Verse More Like This
kiss constitutes indifference. tongue slips
against skin holding rough & jagged edges
of promises to be broken.
it is evening.
we sit, 22 seconds robbed of suspense & propers,
bask in each other's mouths like sweet acid burning
in the well of our throats. ebbs & flows into collages
of paint smear, spanish frescoes of weakened virtues
and ethical dissection.
pick apart my childhood with the flat side of your
coated teeth & see the lack of company in me. hands
like glue to the bottom of your running shoes; witnessed
the lynching of each other's smiles like slavery.
concrete sharpens skull-scars, snaps jaws shut.
the peculiar procedure of a trip, no matter it be
with the kush, falling, or lips, results in loss
but this, this results in sleepless nights & heightened
burning of incense instead of going to church. results
in God's constant disapproval of my need to be near you.
results in me removing the cross from around my neck,
tape dispensersmother doesn't know & daddy wouldn't approvetape dispensers in Free Verse More Like This
of the number of times i let him touch me.
wasn't raped, but wish i was.
then i would know exactly what's going on
because now we're stuck in the middle of
tears & plastic rings
and neither of us can look the other
in the eye without
i declare 31 promises & confessions
at a time; i'm not good enough for 1.
detroit told me you would leave & the
thought of my hair, dark and cascading,
would never cross your mind in the winter.
the breeze of my breath into the hollow
of your throat would never be felt again.
don't touch me the way you touched her
that one september night - i deserve better.
i contemplated being your whore for the
duration of 4 summer months.
even though the season ends in september,
i know i'll be feeling your phantom fingers
between mine through the middle of next july.
etched your lack of virtues into my ribcage,
my left lung falters & i am choking, i am choking.
experienced your ugly, put up with your fake
to the gunman of a school shooting in newtown, CTthe black man on the television screen spits reform,to the gunman of a school shooting in newtown, CT in Free Verse More Like This
but parents of dead children plea gun control in the
wake of the destruction of 20 children, 26 lives total.
adam, don't you realize it's christmas time & these
parents will be burying bones instead of caroling songs?
the black man on the television screen admits:
our heart is broken.
but there is no beauty in the unity that follows robbing
of innocence. adam,
you sprayed the school with bullets bursting into shrapnel
off the shattering skulls of children.
20 little bodies hauled off in white sanitation bags,
stained red with crusty blood and shouting mothers screaming
to the heavens.
there is nothing clean about the way 26 connecticut families
will be washing the salt water off their chapped cheeks eternally.
you drained them internally. in america,
to know change you must create it, but we have
a cabinet full of ornate teacups not willing to
blow the dust off their porcelain edges.
you'd think we'd learn from our mistakes, but adam
broke(n)i am broken, broken to the broken back of ourbroke(n) in Free Verse More Like This
love broke broken strung out on a broken song
long after it ended, i can't end us broken. i am
broken you broke me, snapped me in thirds:
1 for you, 1 for God, 1 for the ground.
i lost myself and i broke, broken broken i am
broke(n). i've said it before - the skin on the
inside of my right wrist doesn't bleed anymore,
it's been broken too many times. wasn't always
your fault, this time was; my arm fucking hurts.
my soul fucking hurts. break my smile in 7's:
1 for dad, 1 for mother, the other 5 for tape
dispensers. i'm sorry.
broke, broke me with the fingers you used to
touch hers, broke me motherfucker you broke me.
broken like the way legs snap, you broke me by
parting my legs before i was ready - took advan-
tage, took fucking advantage of me, my knees.
"get on your knees"
broke me fast like twigs, listened to white noise,
bitch you're black - broke(n) cash boy, breakingly
beautiful. i said i had my heart broken by a black
truthsi.truths in Free Verse More Like This
there are 2 things that not even the most
forceful of rains can cleanse me of:
sometimes, i feel like a caged lion.
only with a lot more impatience
and a lot less resilience.
i have yet to discover what it means to be content.
i am either too stagnant or too fluid.
no middle ground.
i have mastered the art of leaving.
it's the idea of moving on that still haunts me.
i fear that the light in my eyes is so dim that it will burn out
before even i have a chance to see the world with it.
i am not as clever as i pretend to be.
someone needs to teach me that
i don't need reassurance; i need self-assurance.
that someone should be me.
my greatest fears are loneliness and cancer.
the second because all my beauty is in my hair.
the first doesn't need an explanation.
i am still discovering what it means to be a woman.
everything is confusing me.
i am secretly afraid of massages.
feels like i'm being stabbed.
we all know how that is.
your name has a familiar tasteunder the moth-like hum of a lamppost,your name has a familiar taste in Free Verse More Like This
your lips molded around hers like a cast
mending a broken wrist.
i stood motionless and watched
as her figure became shapeless,
conforming to your crevices and
letting your hands glide over it
like sudden rain clouds.
as i choked in the outskirts of your paradise,
i couldn't help but wonder if we, too,
looked this way before sickening ourselves.
as we multiplied in fractions and 2 became 1,
did the crunch of the leaves
beneath our backs realize the magic?
your teeth imprisoning my tongue for never too long,
my fingers shaping themselves to the curve of your neck.
our gentle caress disintegrated
like a thunderstorm to a campfire
to solemn ashes and broken twigs.
i first sensed your absence when i knelt in prayer
and your taste was not on the tip of my tongue. from
then on, i ritualized purging myself of every memory.
2 months later and you are still not ridden from me.
regardless of all this mess, your touch is still the epitome of content.
swimming in spacelet's ask the stars to build us a castleswimming in space in Free Verse More Like This
so we can rest our shoulders like royalty -
put the weight of all these words
for a few millennia
and just breathe.
our lungs could use a few hits of truth
to open themselves up to the calming hymns of the heavens;
breaking ourselves apart shouldn't be too difficult.
(our wrists mean war - forests of insecurities & impatience)
wait a few more months
for distance to build itself a bridge between our arms,
saturn is stretching its rings across your chest,
deeming you responsible for all the black holes
and stray planets enveloped in the universe.
i went swimming in your blood stream,
no diver came in after me.
i dreamt that i was drowning in your veins,
the chill of september's rains still haunts my bones
from time to time.
colors without names flash before my eyes
making themselves a mantra of sins under my skin.
we lifted our heads in unison and crafted a tragedy
from all these mistakes.
the riverbed & jesu
manifestation of the teenage hearti look for you inside poetry.manifestation of the teenage heart in Free Verse More Like This
for your dark skin, dark hair,
bright eyes, long fingers &
i look between lines, inside words
& i hope to find you tangled in
i pray to see you hiding in the gaps
between stanzas & in the crevices of
metaphors & generic rhyme schemes.
it's because i'm losing you, you see, so
i need to search in all the rightly-written
places to find you again. spaces & lines
& all those hidden symbols, they're up for
interpretation; or in my case, investigation.
my age-earned naivety used as a
flashlight, i expect you to nomadically
turn up at some point because you're always
moving from heart to heart these days.
gardeneri need to love yougardener in Free Verse More Like This
but love's like ivy grown to choke a house,
to strangle the poppies and tulips and
leave the trees in desert soil,
to frame the windows and smother glass
broken by the strength of roots gripping
at sand once loose on a beach who
knows your footprints,
and when i have torn up vines by the root,
drenched the green in caustic vile,
burned the furniture wrought with seeds
and thrown away the trowel,
i was never more unhappy;
i need to love you,
to groom the thickening leaves
and dense forests in our living room,
let my hair grow long and my eyes accustomed
to the arid night because you made promises
of rain, and the rain cannot come without clouds,
without blindness and fright
and it will drizzle but someday
the storm will be torrential and the lightning
will dazzle my fear, my need to flee,
to take the dusty gloves you use to cultivate,
stem the urge to quell germination
i need to love you,
and trust will follow like the patter of a summer shower.
You're Never Touching AnythingCarnationsYou're Never Touching Anything in Free Verse More Like This
have grown inside my eyelids,
pollinated by june bugs
flecked with bright recording colors:
We were away
from noon till morning,
froze in amber
because the horizon twitched,
of the damp sidewalk
planted in my skin.
He sat at my left,
picking week old plastic
and throwing it
onto the sandbar
for fish to eat:
I soon planned
on Gabriel's blanket,
a circular fountain
hadn't turned on yet;
with nothing louder
than the lake
on the shore:
Our sun rose higher
and bleached my consciousness:
I wake up
with mosquito bites
and flaking wool-worn elbows,
braiding stringy petals
To That Gas Station Attendant,I owe you a thank you or at least an apology,To That Gas Station Attendant, in Free Verse More Like This
because I'm sure I scared you:
child like a coat hanger wrapped in papi's jacket,
the one that smelled most like sobriety,
loitering in the aisle marked for confections,
telling you I had no money when you asked,
and then you said something about curfew.
If I could remember what you said,
I would write it on every wall and paper,
remember why I told you, and I told you.
You said nothing, and I guess that was beautiful:
I told you, and you didn't say a word. No sympathetic pity,
sentimental promises of bullshit help
I left and walked home,
cleaned up his vomit from the floor,
and mother came to get me the next morning.
She asked, "What's wrong?" I said nothing,
but I told you the night before,
the words still shaped in my consciousness,
begging eventual confession.
And should some why completely weepon nights wrought of quiet,And should some why completely weep in Free Verse More Like This
(born to the moonlight
who slunk between far theres
to nestle lines of silver,
when i felt her reflections
near)white sheets rustling
the only sound in my ear,
even the house held its ghosts
and rusting pipelines still;
when the streets were statue,
(and so rarely were the streets
empty)cars parked quivering
beneath the glass that held
my eyes in theirs: nights
when breaths were most rancid,
the floorboards creaked like
tectonics were his footsteps,
he the embodiment of mountains
shifting, eons spanned in frightful
seconds(when the moonlight
was shut from the bedroom
and noise repossessed)
125 Million Views and Countingi am overexposed and nauseous,125 Million Views and Counting in Free Verse More Like This
fed by the viral stream of humor
derived from gang rape and murder,
genital mutilation and hysteria,
disgusted by my barking laughter
when i analyze the pixels captured
from light reflected off matter,
another interview cropped for cash,
fleeting internet celebrity,
and the systematic desensitization
of an entire generation raised
without the notion of consequence.
after inhaling,she said,after inhaling, in Free Verse More Like This
"the pills i took earlier
haven't set in yet,
but i think i'll go back
to my usual medication
because that really helped."
i can't feel anything
The DeadI have chemical wakefulness,The Dead in Free Verse More Like This
10 dollars and 27 cents hidden last night,
somewhere around the apartment, maybe in the couch
or behind the drywall. The red stiff pillows are on the carpet,
my chest was stuffed with vibrations and tapered:
It's not in the kitchen. Not in our bedroom,
but you have forty dollars in your wallet.
Your body's in airspace. Maybe you had dinner,
your parents' favorite restaurant,
or called Richard while you smoked in the parking lot,
feather hymns, exosongs, traffic tones,
a late ride home, long straight roads, flaking paint,
creaking sway, bitter drip, dragging lights,
a choking fit,
his nihilistic faith, a repetitive twitch,
how he appreciated with his fists,
and you were 23,
thought everything was plain
"I'll pick up something for dinner,"
but I only spend 18.60 at the supermarket.
sunup, sunriseto speak on the inconsistency of dreams would be redundant;sunup, sunrise in Free Verse More Like This
we swept the walls for dust
and took down each pillar with a chisel no bigger than my hand,
no bigger than yours,
in the dim-lit factory filled with ivy leaves and cracked concrete;
beneath us, the turtle groaned and swam closer to the sun,
its scales beat dry by passing stars,
and the windows had all been broken or boarded with lace;
the orange became our shading,
and the walls shook with sunup, with the dim-lit walls and the ivy
quivered; the sunrise, sunup with the swimming fins drifting dust
that rose into our nostrils,
and the chisels dropped through the floor with the pillars, the ivy
broke the lace and the lace quivered;
orangeburst in violet, the violent sunrise on the cracked shell and
the factory groaned,
the turtle moaned beneath its weight;
to speak on the inconsistency of dreams would be redundant.
love's austere and lonely officesi.love's austere and lonely offices in Free Verse More Like This
ronnie picks rose petals
and eats them, chews the pink to yellow
in his cigarette teeth. his sister, peggy,
asks how they taste, and he says, "good,
like whimsy and perfume," and picks three petals
fat with pigment and water; she tastes the first
and likes the second and the third is the sweet on her tongue
when ronnie dies of liver failure. she eats the reddest
blooms on his casket.
if tommy were a girl and jenny a boy,
the children would be perfect:
tommy with impish nose and nymph hands,
jenny rumbling with the rooneys from new city,
and mother frets for both their blond[e] heads.
peggy buys the twins paletas
but ronnie spends most days with grandpa.
he comes home and tells jenny they're blackfoot:
she could have been a warrior woman,
tommy a medicine man,
and mother wouldn't fret when tommy kisses jason.
ronnie is sixteen and thin.
willy is the youngest boy and clings to skirts,
plays with dolls because eva smothered him. tommy
pushes him down the stairs because jenny w
tokeher bright teeth cast bright shadow,toke in Free Verse More Like This
eulogy to her fingers lost in the krokodil cold,
exposed bone in a russian winter; valerie,
i remember her name and her chest,
that it stuck to mine and to me; she
said she liked men who didn't like her,
and by that she meant gay before i knew
she kissed me on the forehead, and her lips
were narrow and thick, chapped skin shaking,
drowned in a sweater that was her father's; they
fostered hound dogs and beagles and she stank
of their dander and love. she could roll a joint
with her fingers, otherwise useless, otherwise
"jorge." (she said my name white, snowy)
"jorge, don't do this shit when you grow up,"
and she lit it for me while i smoked.
eschatoni.eschaton in Free Verse More Like This
light like the christ
strikes the atmosphere
a darling blind
sent to end the years
a clasp of thunder
and a mass so mere
with all eyes impressed
and all deafened ears
crescent like discretion
of the here and not
a stellar fate
chosen with a cloth
the sash asunder
and the passion wrought
make new the questions
and the answers sought
cursing like the hearse
flung to those not ready
an earthy tone
the grasp of lips
masked in dashing redding
of alloys unsteady
he likes to track stars
across the void
and watch them blossom
and then destroy
charmersettle into my systemscharmer in Free Verse More Like This
and coil about
drip a golden venom
with serpentine splendor
pooling in my lungs
touch the hem
down your thigh
and bite lips
pulse of the universei feel her thumb in my palmpulse of the universe in Free Verse More Like This
but see the siphon of space
wrap up the world in my arms
but crawl with stars in the basement
grip her hand like it's breathing
feel her hips till they break
betray the gaze of a lover
mistakes in orbital ranks
cement and steely advances
kiss the vacuum misplaced
we're falling into the void
we'll fault in vacuous lace
impacts that glance off the surface
not a mark on the face
still they all err and they are
evacuating the plane
the sounds are building inside
my chords can't handle the waves
my voice a candle dismantled
and affectations afraid
an expecation of fire
the smell of acidic waste
i take your temperature lightly
and my worries erase
you're coming home with the kids
you comb a hair out of place
you look like saturn is dying
like all our patterns are greyed
like we were locked in the basement
with just our limbs and our grace
you look quite sadder than i rem
ember being the case
] [-] ]]- [[-alstegh.] [-] ]]- [[- in Free Verse More Like This
god love me
in my shade
and my value
keep me primed
o, cleanse my
a sly kiss of the eye
and wry twist of a phrase.
a slim flame in a pyre
and dry lick of a gaze.
as the old ways cease
to make way
and her ways
will not lead
them to mercy,
she is crafting
down the bare arms
of seraphic lurching.
god help us
if the colors
hand to heaven i would
pick you up off the ground and
embed you in the drywall.
i have not found love
to be quiet
as the sky
and the sea
up the blood
from the breaches.
we all turned
the new prism.
a garish display
alstegh and balteph
now my name
reentryyou are not a constellation.reentry in Free Verse More Like This
there's no brilliant cluster
pumping in your chest,
no nebulae atwist
inside your slender neck.
you don't wrap your asterism
in cosmic lace,
nor do atmospheres
in your veins.
you are not blinding,
are not fusion,
are not distant;
but your gravity
the rattle of twig fistsearth, i have been witnessthe rattle of twig fists in Free Verse More Like This
to your dirt. i have seen
your grit grind the lips
of the fresh and mark the chests
of the humble. i have been
there as the mantle saw fit
to sit cursed on the shoulders
of prime specimens, eager to
impress on them the waste
that you feel you owe.
be this an ode to the stars
for whom you designated crevices
filled with intravenous magma
and aerial pratfalls, these sensations
that we romanticize and crave
and overdose on. perhaps the glow
of self hinders our acuity, or
perhaps we have evolved to love
the way things devolve.
olive branches do not fit
in crushed ventricles, and the leaves
test the spasms of larynges
like ash-tapped kisses and in all this
i observe no glory to entropy. i fight
the passage of time and the tendency
of non-rhyme and the way you need
someone, anyone to be there for you
the same way: obtusely, profusely, and
in all ways that aim to refuse
the tested truths
i will brave all of your hate, gods
to make certain
this earth's quak
sobriqueti.sobriquet in Free Verse More Like This
oh lover, i told you
i'd never console you
with anything less
than every beat in my chest.
oh darling, i swore you
i'd never adore you
more than i do now
in this moment somehow.
my love on a coaster,
circles forming beneath.
we've been here for hours,
disregarding our sleep
cycles and turning our noses
up at clock hands. swimming
in the seasons, our reasons
hazy with off-handed
mentions of the future we share.
oh the swirls in your hair
remind me that it's time for me
my love in dimensions
i had never conceived.
sweet saturn despising
all the ash on my knees.
i'm toeing the line
and i'm thumbing the ring.
momentum in process
forcing planets to fling.
my float through the new earth,
no dragging of feet.
i open my throat
and my arteries sing.
i dance in the bloodstream,
i'm vein as can be.
i'm here for you darling,
when you walk this way, all the roofing sways
and the dirt rises to meet.
i'm in orbit but
the your chesti willthe your chest in Free Verse More Like This
always be there for you
right at the end
of the arc
of your arrow
velia's cradlehe was screening her callsvelia's cradle in Free Verse More Like This
and she threw her phone
at the windshield,
cursing at the spidering caused.
took the exit
she almost didn't notice
the door unlocked
the tv static
or her lipstick stains on his neck
or him watching.
she could not recall
the color of his eyes
or the rhythm of his breathing
or how to breathe herself.
and when he spoke,
only one word: I
the glasses in the kitchen
and her perceptions shattered
for she could not discern
in the babel.
voidfriendi.voidfriend in Free Verse More Like This
a scape claimed
no matter how sharp
or the orbits
aligned by her will,
or the scope
of the aperture
to be ignited.
she can't fight it.
cracks in the visor
and pressure leaks.
asking her hand
and her peace
as the tip
of her tongue
starts to freeze.
like a shard
"if i have to be breathless,"
she finally states,
"i'd prefer it to be by the trident."
alas, i cannot swim.and you over thought things. you stared at the concrete, and the cars, and the way the light reflected off the passing green car. you imagined how it would feel if it hit you. they're just thoughts though, right? nothing more. you tell yourself, "everyone thinks these things sometimes."alas, i cannot swim. in Short Stories More Like This
you take an extra long sip from your coffee cup, seeing if you can wash your thoughts away.
you spill your coffee on your shirt. a chain reaction, a subtle change of scenery; you don't exactly know what to conclude from this event. you reach into your pocket to pull out your white handkerchief, only it's red now. your hand is bleeding. you don't remember this happening, but then again, you don't remember much of anything. you make your way towards the stretch of the city. you try to let its stomach swallow you whole. is this you? are you growing old? you can't tell if you're dotted with dandelions or soaked up in the city's sweat. you are no longer the man you thought you were, & this can only mea
calamity.the poor boy got a lecture from deaths secretarycalamity. in Free Verse More Like This
"deaths busy enough as it is without walk ins"
"but it was urgent," he stutters.
"it couldn't wait, it was now or never"
he was simply told
"take a number, and wait over there with the rest
who 'couldn't wait' "
unlovenot all self harm comesunlove in Free Verse More Like This
in the obvious form of lines up arms or down thighs
of throwing up insides and self worth
into toilet bowls with the sounds
that make you wonder how you're not dead.
she picked at her lips constantly
cracking and splitting
peeling and bleeding
more than expected
and it bled
more than ever anticipated
even after she's been doing it all day
she drank her tea that was still steaming
still made her hands flinch from the
far too hot porceline
but she parted lips
and felt it force it way down
burning and splitting
her lips and throat
like molten in her
ash filled stomach
pulling on skin
making underneath it
her blood like water colour
exploding and spreading
and mixing over
thighs and stomachs
no-one thinks to notice
alright, its okay i guess.she said she wanted to find someone who would be able to read the semi-tonesalright, its okay i guess. in Free Verse More Like This
and breaks inbetween her breathes when she is holding back that sadness that leaves bottom
lips quivering and the oceans of eyes suddenly grows and swells and flows freely down faces.
she wanted to find someone who could read these tones, and find the ache like a map
and poke it with the right tenderness and break it apart and let it disperse to other parts where
they can sit and not weigh so much.
someone who could take the music out of her ears, and know what each song a band means
her heart was feeling. that what sarah said mean she's falling apart but not really sure about
whether she has the energy too. or that bright eyes means she's just a big pile of uselessness
and that her insides are far too heavy for her to sit up straight right now.
and watercolouring is bad.
riddance.and lately i've found myself swallowing matchesriddance. in Free Verse More Like This
trying to burn my insides for fun
to distract myself from missing you so much.
its not working.
it might be a little bit bitter.keep something for july & octoberit might be a little bit bitter. in Free Verse More Like This
two thousand and thirteen.
don't show me all your tricks
so early in the year.
waste.theres a familiar knot in her chestwaste. in Free Verse More Like This
and she's tripping over memories
kicking them in the same place every time
until theres a bruises trailing her tip toes
and theres a dent blurring some part of the moment.
like his face
or the way the laugh felt in her mouth
or how it actually felt
to not give a fuck about anything
and not be constantly waterlogged.
she's tried to find ways to describe it
poetically and poised and
without excessive cursing.
but after the fiftieth month
of wanting to run away
or overdose or
she's given up with politeness.
its just fucking painful.
can't really tell anymore.
there are lists that are scattered
around the internet
and they tell her things that
she should do before she hits
this milestone that someone has
plucked out of thin air
and its all about taking risks
and being something that stands out
and keeps your blood pumping
rather than just running
trickling through you.
and its apparently one insane moment
of courage that can change y
sore.lover held me last night and told me he'dsore. in Free Verse More Like This
read something in a mens health about a monthly challenge
of fucking everyday for a month
to get us back into eachothers hearts
but i shrugged him off
and curled into a ball at the thought
i am not ready
i've gone backwards and i want to
so called virtues.lover has more friends than i do,so called virtues. in Free Verse More Like This
which isn't hard as all those i have are
stretched across oceans and their
power is washed and watered down
chipped at from salt spray
or the winds
and i think for the what i wish
was the first time that this wound
of mine is a curse
it aches and it holds and it
creates mountains and peaks
in body and mind
that i can't soothe
that i can't control.
his manliness is more stable
than my womanhood.
he can eject
or reject or hold oceans within thicker skin
than i have on any part of me.
i break and split
oh god do i bleed.
little bird.his head was filled with fluff and his heart wasn't warm enough to care about much else apart from himself in the overwhelming set of school and corridors that were filled with strangers whose eyes said so much without the help of lips. classrooms were never the right temperature and he think they purposely made the desks too hard to comfortably rest your head on. stupid boy with nothing of any real concern and no reason to be troubled. doesn't mean he wasn't trouble. his eyes wandered from the board and his teachers words and landed on her, with birdnest hair and ocean blue eyes. he laughed at her strange clothes or the book she clutched so tightly to her chest, like a lifeline or a extension of herself. bell rung, a rush a blur of people flew out doors and into the yard, and he followed her, the girl with the heartbook. he wanted it, it worked into his small little mind and he wanted to see inside it. with the worst intentions though. he walked up to her, and points over at somlittle bird. in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
Snow on the Wind Chapter 11You are shaken awaken quickly by someone. You open your eyes. It's an elf, motioning you to hurry outside.Snow on the Wind Chapter 11 in Romance More Like This
"Oh right...." you slap your head, calling yourself an idiot because today is Christmas.
The elf motions to the door again.
"All right, all right, I'm coming," you laughingly say, putting your hair back in a messy fishtail braid.
You reach the top of the spiral staircase and peer over the railing. A huge Christmas tree has been set up next to the globe, and presents the size of yourself sit patiently waiting to be unwrapped.
They are all there, Tooth, Sandy, North, and Bunny.
Instead of descending down the staircase, you slide down the banister, but as you're about to jump off and land on the red carpet, someone catches you in his arms.
You look up and see Jack's handsome face smiling down at you.
"Good morning, sunshine! You took forever to get down here."
"Forever, huh?" you say.
"I'll say. Look at the load of presents that you've got under the tree!"
Snow on the Wind Chapter 23"What do YOU want?" Jack says sulkily.Snow on the Wind Chapter 23 in Romance More Like This
You wince. You've somehow contacted Jack to meet you at the familiar evergreen forest near the factory. The big vendetta wouldn't start until nighttime, when Pitch was strongest.
That night was the winter solstice, the day with the longest night. Ironically, this year's winter solstice was a full moon, which gave the Guardians hope that MiM (Man in the Moon) would help them somehow.
Pitch didn't bother with that. "MiM doesn't help the Guardians," he had said with a wave of his hand. "And if he does send help....well, let's just say there will be moonless nights forever in the world."
But enough of that. Back to your conversation with Jack.
Which is not very pleasant either.
"I need to tell you something."
"What? Like I'd ever trust you again. How should I know you're not stabbing me in the back?"
"Come over here."
Reluctantly, Jack comes over to you and your heart starts beating like mad.
Forget it, you say internally, You're never going to mend y
Snow on the Wind Chapter 20You see Jack and try to plead with him with your desparate eyes, hoping he would understand. Hoping, clinging to him like you always had, to trust you. You try and hold on to him, like the rock he's always been in a swirling river.Snow on the Wind Chapter 20 in Romance More Like This
All you could see in his eyes were shock and betrayal.
You slip and sink into your mind's fierce chaotic river.
"You fools have been blind this whole time. You were out, combing the world for any source of me gathering information, while the answer was handed to you on a silver platter, right underneath your noses."
"Although Tooth wasn't blind at all," Pitch purrs, like a black cat ready to pounce upon an injured bird.
Tooth bristles. With anger and relief. No doubt she was relieved that the Guardians would now believe her.
Over the cost of your life.
"Oh yes, Tooth. You were telling the truth. You had all the Guardians against you. And what do they do? They turn their backs to you and instead fawn over the little traitor angel."
Horror closes up your throa
Snow on the Wind Chapter 8Tooth keeps on fussing about your teeth, making you brush them at least 5 times to make them shiny clean. She twists your hair in long wavy locks that trail down your shoulder and stop near your chest.Snow on the Wind Chapter 8 in Romance More Like This
While she's doing that, her fairies do your makeup. One does your eyelashes. Another stencils the shape of your eye with gold eyeliner.
One baby fairy was struggling to lift the glitter container until you picked it up for her. She smiled gratefully at you. Then you see, on top of her tiny head, a golden feather like Tooth's, and not a blue one like the other fairies.
Tooth literally forces you to wear a winter blue ball gown that looked too fancy for wear, and the fairies had to shove you into it to make you stop protesting.
The baby fairy (Baby Tooth, as Tooth calls her) applies a thin coat of sheer lip gloss on your lips and Tooth straightens out the hem of your dress, also forcing you to wear red flats.
("I disposed of the high heels. I thought they were cruel devices for women to we
Snow on the Wind Chapter 3The shadow near the window still has got you creeped out, even though you know it' s a silly figment of your imagination.Snow on the Wind Chapter 3 in Romance More Like This
"Hey, __________!" Jamie yells out."We' re having another snowball fight! But we' re gonna make our fort much bigger now!"
You spin on your heel. You' re ready to play again.
Jamie' s got that big crazed grin on his face, like he lost control and he loves it.
Suddenly, a snow drift from your roof lands on your head.
A ghostly laugh is heard from above.
"Is someone up on my roof?!?" you cry out, bewildered.
Jamie looks up and sees something that makes him laugh out loud.
"So it was YOU!" he grins.
You quickly stride off, not wanting to have another snow drift about to wet your hair again. And if Jamie could see stuff that you couldn' t see, there must be something strange going on.
You briskly walk in the falling snow, seeing the world covered in a blanket of ice and frost.
The breath from your mouth forms a cloud the size of a melon. And that's no
Snow on the Wind Chapter 2Speciosam FrontinusSnow on the Wind Chapter 2 in Romance More Like This
Midnight draws nearer and the pale moon shines brightly, reflecting off each frozen icicle that hangs from the iced rooftop. The night sky is as dark as a crow flying in a pitch black night. And no one is out, save for a few people who stroll around the neighborhood for a view of the town at night.
You are seen making loaves of _____ bread, lighting the fire, and turning on your Christmas tree lights.
The piping hot oven you just had on turns ice cold.
You frown, and peek into it to see what’s wrong.
You just miss the shadow that suddenly appears out of thin air onto your roof.
The tiles freeze, and someone walks barefoot over them.
You sit down next to the window, with the fire crackling merrily, dancing warm colors sparkling in your eyes and warming the whole house, giving a wonderfully cozy feeling. The fire leaps and dances across the logs, making the whole house bathe in its beauty. You trace your hand over the white frost covering your window, curving up
Snow on the Wind Chapter 22The horse snorts at you, trying to get your attention, gesturing to climb onto its back.Snow on the Wind Chapter 22 in Romance More Like This
You're barely up and over when the nightmare rears and speeds out of the tree trunk as fast as light. You grab onto the sandy, gritty black mane of the horse, and wince a bit. The grains dig into your skin.
Faster and faster the horse gallops, the background little evergreen forest turning into a blur, kind of like when a movie is fast forwarded onto maximum speed.
You don't know where it's taking you.
Just somewhere where there is no conflicts. Or enemies.
And no Jack Frost.
Alarms in the factory start ringing. North mutters something Russian under his breath, probably a curse.
"Pitch has gone to your town, Jack! He's on his way right now, and he's planning to attack everyone there with nightmares!"
Well. There goes the rest of my day. And here I was thinking that my day could not get any worse.
"Is he going for Jamie or the other kids? He be
Snow on the Wind Chapter 16The door slams.Snow on the Wind Chapter 16 in Romance More Like This
You look into Jack's face, which is a bad idea. His face seems so angry and confused, as if he didn't have a clue what was going on.
You touch his face.
"Hey," you say, croaking. "I'm alive."
"No, you're not. Pitch nearly killed you. It's my fault."
You look straight into his eyes. Suddenly, you force him to look up.
"Listen to me, Jack Frost, because I am not going to say this again. I can take care of myself. This is NOT your fault. If anyone's fault is to blame, it's mine. And no one kills me until I put up a good enough fight. Understood?"
He looks shocked. Then he smiles and nods.
You pull back, satisfied. Then you groan and tip sideways.
Your back is killing you from your wings.
"___________? Come here, I have a better idea than you trying to bore yourself to sleep."
Jack climbs and sits on the bed.
He takes your head in his lap and strokes your stray strands of hair away from your face.
It's nice and comforting, not funny and misheivious like his ot
Snow on the Wind Chapter 4Jack Frost. The spirit of winter. The one who makes the windowpanes freeze. His Frostiness himself.Snow on the Wind Chapter 4 in Romance More Like This
And he's smiling right at you. In front of you.
The winter spirit is leaning on a long tall wooden staff, and he wears a dark blue hoodie covered with frost. The light brown trousers he wears are slightly tattered, and he's barefoot. His eyes are the color of zero degree tempature ice, with ink blue irises pooling into them. His hair is snow white, and when it catches the sun's rays, it shines like crystal.
He's rather good-looking, you think, although you don't say it aloud. (If you did, you would beat yourself up bloody).
He comes closer, a slight smirk strecthing across his face.
"I thought it was about time you started to see me. I was getting tired of waiting."
You fidget a bit, smoothing out your ice blue skirt and lacing your skates.
"Can I ask you something?"
"What gave you the notion to spy on me?"
His cheeks turn into the slightest tinge of pink.
"O-Oh, you know. Y
Cold War: Holy ShootIt isn’t every day you get to spend time with an Air Force pilot. That goes especially if you’re having conflicting feelings about him, or trying to figure him out.Cold War: Holy Shoot in Romance More Like This
You and Jack walk by the park, watching golden rays of light bouncing off the crinkled jade leaves hanging on the knobbed branches by the dozen.
“It’s so…..” you start out.
“Beautiful? Inspiring?” Jack says, looking fairly bored.
“I was going to say peaceful.” You reply.
That catches him off his guard. He stops and stares at you. “Why do you think that?”
“Because no one’s around to bother me or distract me or flirt with me,” you say, waving a hand around. “No one’s thinking of me as a gorgeous bombshell or a flirtatious woman who knows everything, except I don’t.”
Jack starts a bit.
“What?” you ask curiously, wondering if you had said something wrong. You’re sure you haven’t
Aurora (Borealis)The vermilion sky melted and slippedAurora (Borealis) in Free Verse More Like This
into a barely muddied, ruddy hillside
powdered-sugarcoated, vanilla ice-whipped
The vivacious glory-of-the-snow
sabotages the dead silence of the season
with its vehement, blue-violet glow
Know that I see the gleaming aurora in
your laugh lines, life lines
in the palms of your hands and
pads of your feet, unfurling the unsaid
The north star becomes
a cardinal bindi on your forehead
Know that I feel you are heaven-defined
prophecies pressed into my spine
You want to whisper across my tips and capillaries
breathe in sky-blue butterflies, out sea-green envy
I want to compass through your crust and marrow
with every very ounce of streaming sanguine in me
To keep burning bridges and breaking-off roads
marooning our mauve mere of melancholy
To reclaim yourself under new wintry dawn odes
finally, fathoming the worth of the word, 'free'
The vermilion sky melted and slipped
into a half-baked, chocolate hillside
asleep in sleet, numbed and tight-lipped
twofold travestya welkin river of tearstwofold travesty in Free Verse More Like This
tiptoe down a siren's face
as she tries
despite her inadequacy
of pride and girth
to covet her neighbor's lover
i watch her, disheveled dress
and a mess of mascara
lipstick a little bit scarce
on one edge of her lip
hickey on hip pulsing
a forbidden, bitten plum
she tries too diligently
to find her keys, still
in a labyrinthine longing
for her neighbor's lover
defeated, i crumble on the porch
futile caveatsas i crack the shellsfutile caveats in Free Verse More Like This
of the eggs i'm about to have for breakfast,
the sound replays in my
head for a little while;
i eat my breakfast and go
as i wait for the subway train
to come, the smell of newspapers around
just makes my stomach
acid spew and turns me to paleness;
i ride the train and go
as i cut myself and bleed
on the salad i'm in the
process of preparing,
i feel another stronger phantom pain;
i skip my dinner and go
as i walk the evening streets
trying to see anything other than
our memories in every avenue,
the moon stands witness of my sins;
i fight the night and go
25 pennies tossed in the wishing wellgolden sunlight25 pennies tossed in the wishing well in Free Verse More Like This
my left hand is
i love your
Coins' Collateral Your ever-changing hands and eyesCoins' Collateral in Free Verse More Like This
flashed blank-page fluorescent fire
in the flickering lights of A-103.
Silver-edged as zinc coins
reverberating lightning fire
that crackled your name
when the sky set a worth for you
raining treasuries inside Gov & Econ class dreams.
Still hot enough to burn your palms,
I dreamed of silver clanging, falling
still hot enough to press and sizzle
I want nothing but deathAfter the three hundred and sixty fifth setting sun since everything became undone, maybe now I have gathered enough pieces of my ether and stationary paper to write you a true goodbye letter.I want nothing but death in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
I would write you starting with the weather today, where the skies are caliginous and the clouds are heavy basins ready to tip over in tears, much like my eyelids. I dig my toes deeply in the damp terra firma as I remember you.
I would write you in snapshot sentences. I would go about how you've converted my vision into a chiaroscuro religion; shifting all light and attention around me to focus in on only you.
I would write you in portrait paragraphs that resemble childhood finger paintings. These portraits pour recollections of the times my fingers traced the light on your face and memorized its every curve and angle, all the while wishing upon your locked, heart-shaped lips for the keys.
Your cupid's bow flung a flaming arrow
past my bone,
snagging at my marrow,
presque poesiehow can i ever get to grabbing you by your palms, pressing them unto my palpitating chest, and come to confession?presque poesie in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
to the sinfulness of your impish grin that triggers at the crash cymbal of my drum set heart:
your mouth utters sine qua non melodies to my metronome world.
you run currents through my tendons and down- electrocuting the balls of my feet with your excellently executed crescendo compositions.
you strike at me with a resplendent, kaleidoscopic, molten mess so violently upward- you invade me vertebrae by vertebrae.
we try our hardest to catch our breaths and unbecoming selves until you infiltrate my sternum and ragingly contaminate my rib cage with a bush-fire of your fervor and desire;
so it shall come to pass, like a cherished billet-doux beastly fed to a bastard fire, everything in due time shall be engulfed and expire.
What it means to conquerI read about themWhat it means to conquer in Free Verse More Like This
in his mighty arms
and his passionate gaze
and their tragic romance
and fulfilled promise of never being
one without the other
Death can never be seen
as the end
to the undying eros
How I pray with all my might
that the oracles that spoke to you
that he has become a hero and
you will once again
For you have been destined for godliness
therefore your realms must once again
tangent and intersect
No queen nor goddess nor titaness
May ever purify, rectify
What has been melded
by a soul's desperate endurance
a coherence not even
Homer's Iliad could
so ravishingly portray
How I wish I was your Hephaestion
Where you would
leave your empire,
Only to chase after my soul,
Dandelion Winethe dandelion has made its appealDandelion Wine in Free Verse More Like This
to wine and whimsy,
but it's plucked-- regardless of nostalgia.
[i am that lion's ragged blooms, and you are the strong winds that blow my meek seeds away, and he-- he is the brawny child pulling me like another weed passe. and there have been other gardeners with hands mortared in black veins by fertile soil, savaging between tame dalmatian tulips and mums the color of fat tabbies embellished by aureate mornings; there have always been these potted plants prettily set as if all of creation planned them so.]
and its roots remain tucked
In the good earth,
flirting with raindrops and shelved reverie.
[i am the pariah's cure-- tisane caught in the red dragon's talons and resting in the part of feathers bright on a charm of finches as their form shadows their flight overhead. i can be opium, and you and him are but another pair of flared-nostriled, flushed fools. the crescent moon lives in my eyes to cause yours mist. i am the apparition-- damned, as a sou
Sravana VarsaI'm broken branchesSravana Varsa in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
in forest trenches
keeping you safe throughout war
I'm hidden rain-songs
trembling by the cooling shore
The sky is running
with ghost clouds gunning
at the clueless masked lovebirds
The moist earth swells up
filling leaking cups
with our fruitless crippled words
leave souls to wither
as my bones set in for night
undone at the seams
tease you and wind you up tight
My hair is guided by the sea's deep sighs
My skin is summoned by the auburn glow
We took a vow to live without goodbyes
My hair is guided by the sea's deep sighs
I hear bells resounding like last July's
And so by another trench shall I go
My hair is guided by the sea's deep sighs
My skin is summoned by the auburn glow
the first poem i wrote since i told you i love youthe star-soaked stainsthe first poem i wrote since i told you i love you in Free Verse More Like This
that covered our nudity
gives way at last
to a tequila sunrise,
so low in the sky;
it's still bright enough
to sting my eyes,
and yet i can't bring myself
to hate it.
your body next to mine,
every effort is made
to move a heavy limb
because any space
is space i don't want.
i am sometimes humbled
by my feelings,
the way they swell
in my throat
just how the ocean
tastes the shore.
there is always something new
to find hidden in my heart,
summoned by my words,
or the salt of your skin
wearing like wind on shale
i don't think i can ever tell you
i love you enough.
if i could, i would never get dressed
so that you could never be sad-
a rewind every time
my clothes touch the floor,
never anything but nude, not naked
because with you i can be bare
i can let you see my entirety
and leave my arms uncrossed,
i can let you in
and not fear that you will break me,
or force my inner things out.
i can love you with open arms
and my lip
leonardwoodi had missed you before i'd met you;leonardwood in Free Verse More Like This
i am missing you before you've left
&today you are gone.
there is nothing,
no drink nor organic acid nor chemical high
to dim the lights on the epilleptic flashes
of love i can't let go,
the panic i blindly follow
as your airplanes leave from boston
&chicago and turn from wings to wheels
as a bus takes you three hours further
to a war zone in missouri.
you told me you loved me
as you vanish for nine months
of the next year.
you promise letters to make up
for the fear you impressed upon us,
love i never let leave,
an empty room i could never stay;
you promised me words
&a heart a thousand miles west
&hopes through two letters a month
that we will not be as broken
as the mirrors i look into,
trying to find what my face looks like
when i know i am wrong.
i want to see the beauty
that men who love me see;
i want to hold onto you
while promising myself to another,
i love you until it hurts
i love you until i can't any more
and i love you sti
the end, actuallylassitude buildsthe end, actually in Free Verse More Like This
nests in my bones
as effective at becoming airborne
as the words "i'm sorry"
they just refused to try
the most prominent thought
circling my head
like the words that could soar
there is a big chance
we will not make it through the night,
that i will never be held
in the cage of your eyes
and trapped by a heart
i must be committing
but i do not know which ones-
there just might be
on the number of tears
you can shed
over one person;
we are not snakes
and cannot remove our skin
so we cry instead
but through the heat
i felt that sadness made
over the phone
i saw no end to us
where there would be
no end to us.
self destruction"i don't need you anymore."self destruction in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
"why, because you're happy? you're not fucking happy. you wouldn't know happiness if it sat next to you on a train."
"what, am i hurting you? you don't know what hurt really is. you think cutting and starving and purging is pain? let me show you what pain really is, then we'll talk."
"please, no -"
"you're afraid it'll hurt too much? you have no idea. try living. see what that's really like. life is pain. living is pain. breathing is pain. sitting there in agony and doing nothing -- that's what hurt really is."
"not some petty heartache, not your day-old hunger, not your sore throat, not your bleeding arms. that's doing something -- something fucking dumb, but something -- about the pain of living. you're too scared to try, that's what you are. you're afraid."
"you need me. you need me so you can be alive, so you can stop yourself from truly living. i'm your fear control. i stop things from getting too scary for you. that's all i am to
constellations are just bodiesyou left me in my bed-constellations are just bodies in Free Verse More Like This
i was crying-
when you walked down my stairs
for the last time.
you were to spend the night-
you lived hours away-
until you told me
you couldn't do this
i was fine-
you were just a constellation-
until your words
forced images of my last love
before my mind's eye.
i cried before you-
i hadn't cried in months-
but i didn't cry for you.
in retrospect, as you closed my door-
it was the last time-
my only thought is
why didn't we fuck
before saying goodbye?
the saturday after your birthday is where i foundbefore you there was an incessant need to be touchedthe saturday after your birthday is where i found in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
but for no longer than the time it took to touch, sweat, and moan
and never by the same hands twice;
for vacancies to be filled
and to never have an empty bed when sleep finally came.
when i found you it was dark and i was drunk.
it wasn't a story built for the centuries,
but we will be the lovers whose names are remembered for the years to come,
tied and woven in song and into the bodies of trees, we will be so in love
that the angels above will cry in jealousy because in my haze,
heavy and raw and with everything burning inside me, i'm afraid i fell in love that night.
being against you was not enough
i needed you on me-in me-everywhere i turned you needed to be there
no space between my body and yours no air
just skin and skin and skin and
movements rough enough to catch soft sweaters like dry elbows
i needed you to be so entwined with me that we breathed in sync.
our hearts opened and closed in a symphony, chords not harmonies, t
if people didn't filter their emotions and justthrowing yourself onif people didn't filter their emotions and just in Haiku & Eastern More Like This
floors doesn't fix anything,
but it sure seems to.
the vomiting crowd of coney islandthe destructive walls are shadedthe vomiting crowd of coney island in Free Verse More Like This
in grey and i am remembering
every feeling i have forgotten-
i am terrified.
this is a city that never sleeps,
the bones of my chest thrumming
like taxi cabs in the streets,
my fingers shaking
in want for comfort and solace
i am not standing
in lorca's vomiting crowd-
i am his vomiting crowd,
looking high and low
and between my clenched fists
for catharsis and purification,
for the reason of this illness
pressed against my skin,
for the indefinable sickness
i drown in like bubbles of spit
day in and day out.
i fear the restraints
i've placed for myself,
that they may not be there
or are not in fact real.
i am caught within a sticking web
of decaying sweetness,
coney island's cotton candy,
yet it is not a trap.
i am afraid of love
and that it holds me back.
i am afraid of love
because i am used to skin on skin,
when the drum beats meet.
i am afraid of love
because it is so far stretched
over these thousand miles,
that i fear it mig
breathing firei am breathing firebreathing fire in Free Verse More Like This
i am tearing this place
i cannot feel what i feel
i am lost
in the greatest
to grow from this earth.
grant me the light
to see a foot before my own eyes,
bless me with a windowpane
to see my own heart.
i dream of flying
cut free these stones,
and living a life
christmas is not only in decemberyou sleep through so much sunchristmas is not only in december in Free Verse More Like This
that it is the moon
who rises for you.
born in the russian springtime
with cyrillic letters on your tongue,
you are endless.
you are a ring,
curved to infinity
your hands belong in mine,
or else on my hips.
curve me into the shape
of an s,
narrow me in the centre
to give room to your arms-
they belong around me.
you are a gift;
when i fall asleep
on the opposite edge of the bed from you
and wake curled to your chest,
it is christmas every time.
papermotivationpaper in Free Verse More Like This
is an isle i cannot wreak.
the land sits between my
as polar; i do not
cross it, i do not reach
instead i become immobile
for hours on my bed
lying asphyxia beneath
the moth ceiling
not a breath moves
not an eye slithers beneath
a fain paperweight-
clasping the marble-white
leaf my touch can barely
hold without its porcelain
through my grips-
not a jaw
breaks from its hinge
(to crumple a ghost
through peaking lips
the night is my maker,
my match. it holds me to the
flame i let die in me
and says "here, have a
look of what your dull dole
and "i know;"
motivation slithers through
my scalp a white-hot opal
not even i can excavate
wantingdoused in milk and honeywanting in Free Verse More Like This
the Queen rises
you've got the devil
in her eyes coming
out like drivel lies
she wants you, paradise
but what she aches for
is to turn
a murk bath into
arms hold you round
the neck and
to the floor a rapid;
cast her into
120 AMmy voice is the crow120 AM in Free Verse More Like This
that caws in the pale night
right beside your bedroom door
(I am sorry
I am not
who you thought I was
who you want me to be)
and I come in
on the frame of your abdomen
I want to die
by your arrow, I
if you do not love me
then who will?
i am a fucking rose and you are blindmy heart is hungeri am a fucking rose and you are blind in Free Verse More Like This
and quick to catch
a mouth weeping lies
for its blood's sake
and i know you've been
quiet but i am tired of
bodies sprout outside the bedroom
window to the rise of me, and god
i am willing for whatever is willing
for me, spineless or boned
and i am sick of wishing for the
room in your hand when you
only let it fill with
easier to grab lilies
for truth comes wailinghere is what i am feeling:for truth comes wailing in Free Verse More Like This
a. i am empty.
there is nothing in me.
bare, like my pantry bare, like my love list bare,
like my skin on lonely evenings.
or maybe i am not.
imagine, or think, catamount
climbing your organs
just to reach your larynx
no, that didn't do it
to push it back in the
pit it came from
only feeling the vile that it rises
instead of the blood
that it loosens.
b. i am unfurling.
these eyes hold cataracts not from age but
from ingenuity dealt by god
who didn't like the way my mother
spread her legs.
the world is my braille.
i feel her ovaries her womb her breast her
abdomen unhinging itself beneath my fingers. i feel
every spasm every movement every catch
i know her.
i read her
like the writer i need to be, like
no one else.
with every line though
comes an end and
i am feeling frantically
for my next verse,
only finding air.
the earth has become my agitator. it t
archipelagoyou've become some big rockarchipelago in Free Verse More Like This
at sea to me, where
are your manners/ where
is your dignitas now
that you don't have the sea
rushing up to you
to be put on its knees;
i spend most nights watching
as her body slams into you,
climbs over you,
the birr from her whip
that aches to bring you down
egg her on
carpe, carpe, ii want to be significantcarpe, carpe, i in Free Verse More Like This
but i am rifted apart
by the two faults in me
as they slip like matches
gainst each other
i am going to light
i am going to die
infectiousi find myselfinfectious in Free Verse More Like This
reusing the words
my father once
gave to me:
i am a useless bastard, you
deserve so much more.
verbatim, i sing
along the string
of my vertebra--
the vortex that
scatters you to
i was not born
a beast, but born
i am not your lover,
i am your cancer:
with me you
will be carrion cast
onto the lawn
.i would shed my skin. in Haiku & Eastern More Like This
with autumn, but my veins would
crack like the dry leaves
.don't come to me at 2am. in Free Verse More Like This
when your heart starts to split
its nuts and bolts
and your eyes are threatening to
burst their banks
i will be too busy trying to
solder my own
laying down sandbags and praying
the tide comes no higher
.i want words in my skin. in Free Verse More Like This
it is not enough for them
to sit just on the underside
i want to feel them gathered in
the creases of my joints and
i want to see them forming in my fingerprints
i want to see every last inch black and blue
.he splits hearts like. in Free Verse More Like This
oranges in the
sinks his teeth into
ripened flesh, and
leaves nothing but the
rind, too hard to
.you said november was a. in Free Verse More Like This
kick in the teeth
and life goes on
get over it
and i thought god
now i know how the birds feel
lying dead on my kitchen floor
fracturesbindweed lungs spill throughfractures in Free Verse More Like This
my oak branch ribs,
up my throat and
around my thorny tongue
make their way down to
cross my clavicles,
elbows and cracked milky
they hold me tighter than you ever did
.misery loves. in Free Verse More Like This
long as it's
on his terms
and i've a
if i just play
by the rules