angel hugthe feeling whenangel hug in Free Verse More Like This
i feel like helping someone
i wish i could make that
special someone feel better
But it was all too sad
I'm just an epic failure
there isnt space for me
to continue the conversation
This second time
This same time when
i was trying to help
I can do all but
to make people feel good
i wish i can phrase those words
into the best warmth an angel hug could give
++E.Shadow.X++ 13th April 2013
Maybe You And IMaybe I had it all wrongMaybe You And I in Free Verse More Like This
Maybe what you wanted was just a friend
Maybe I should stop thinking
You do not want to start any relationship
You would not be hurt if we’re just friend
You will be fine like the way you are
And maybe I was the one thinking too much
And you will be fine, you’ll be fine
And I should not start any hope
I need to confirm my feelings
I do not want to hurt another
I shall not be the one anymore
++E.Shadow.X++ 4th APRIL 2013
Why is it you?Why is it you?Why is it you? in Free Verse More Like This
In such a short period of time
Why is it you that made me smile?
Does this still mean i still have something for you?
Or was it I accepted the fact...
that I have always been trying to believe?
I want to believe more in
accepting the fact of getting over
Rather than being devored by a green-eyed monster.
Maybe I should stop running away
And face this reality I'm living in.
This way, I could probably know the truth.
'Have been' or 'Over'?
++E.Shadow.X++ 15th April 2013
Hey y'all!Hey y’all!Hey y'all! in Free Verse More Like This
Glad y’all have answered my call
Glad to have you all
To be here in the house hall
We shall first have a walk in the mall
Everyone! Line up from short to tall!
I command you to have your back against the wall!
We shall play a game with this ball
Standing, balancing, let’s see who first fall
++E.Shadow.X++ 6th April 2013
FIRST and probably the LASTTime does not matter for nowFIRST and probably the LAST in Free Verse More Like This
I only hope to forget you
My heart hurts
I think I had promised you…
we will talk normally again.
I told you it would probably take a week
Or probably around a month.
I think more than a month has past now…
My heart still hurts.
When I see you, I acted normal.
You acted awkward. Why?
Shouldn’t it be the opposite?
I’m the one who got thrashed by you.
Why are you avoiding me?
Isn’t that supposed to be my behavior towards you?
I don’t know what I want.
I don’t know why I’m feeling this hatred.
I don’t want to hate you.
Or anyone else.
But I do hate myself.
I hated myself for…
Again, giving myself hope.
Hope that doesn’t exist.
Hope that will only hurt yourself.
Although I did confessed that time,
however, like you, I wasn’t sure.
I’m still not sure now.
But I know of one thing,
I can’t go back to the same girl I was.
Treasure TimeWe like each otherTreasure Time in Free Verse More Like This
But we couldn't be together
Due to reasons...
Although i do not know to what extend
that we like each other...
But just by remaining like now
could be like a heaven for me
It would probably be my last few months
To treasure these happy times.
++E.Shadow.X++ April 13th 2013
Dreamy stateI stopped dreamingDreamy state in Free Verse More Like This
once I realize that I’ve been
treating reality like a dream.
I realized it when
I forgot what I had done not long ago.
I forgot the time.
Time stops when I dream.
However, time doesn’t stop ticking
in the reality where I was given the life.
I was given a life to walk to the future.
Not to stop where I was
and dream of other paths.
I need to control my dreams.
It is, thus very enjoyable to dream…
but that won’t do me any good.
Now and then,
I still dream.
Is Wonderland is part of where I used to live?
++E.Shadow.X++ 4th MAY 2013
THE PERSONTHE PERSONTHE PERSON in Free Verse More Like This
I need someone, I don’t know who
I need that person to stay by my side
The person who truly knows me
The person who truly can comfort me
The person who truly knows me...
Does the person even exist?
Oh, Xyvette, my twin…
Do you know how much I need you?
Why didn’t you answer to my call?
Where were you?
I still aint use to your hot and cold
Can’t you be forever stay with me?
Since when did you decided to leave me?
Why did you even leave?
I can’t handle this world alone
I need you
You meant a lot to me
You are part of me
++E.Shadow.X++ 14th of DEC 2012
YEARNYEARNYEARN in Free Verse More Like This
The unending thirst of touch
The friction between yours and mine
The heat electrocuting us on the couch
Won't you love to have some wine?
Who wouldn't love to try?
The exciting moment has just began
It will hurt, i might cry
Or else it would be no pain, no gain.
BelovedBeloved:Beloved in Haiku & Eastern More Like This
With a bright radiant smile
If only for me...
-Chen Yuan Wen, 4th January 2013
An Oath to My FatherAn Oath to My Father in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
An Oath to My Father:
The chill of winter is nothing, when compared to the cold inside my heart.
A fire, once stoked by the warmth of family, has quietly died, five falls past.
I dream of my father, who watches from beyond the realms - and my ancestors
Who fought against an endless army of giants, to win the lands we have today.
Just as a devout man honours his God through worship, I honour them through my axe!
Each stroke of the whetstone, each screech of the metal, brings me closer to them -
Even as I draw closer to my doom. Oh how I can feel him, for the anger in my blood
Boils evermore as I sense him approaching my camp. He is hungry, he is eager;
Slacks of drool hang from his twin mouths, as a jarring roar shakes the mountain!
Though I shiver at the sight, it is not from fear - I shiver in anticipation
Of the battle that is to come. My steel may rend his flesh and break his bones;
Or perhaps I shall be sent to glory - but it is useless to think about such things,
Player versus PlayerPlayer versus Player:Player versus Player in Free Verse More Like This
Elemental artisttry, as lightning weaves through the air.
I see the bloodthirst in his eyes, the hunger for victory.
A demand to be recognised, yet soon to be silenced;
Perfect and perfunctory - my opponent made defunct...
As I stand above this dying creature;
The flicker of life soon fading from their eyes.
I smile and whisper a word of parting,
For the fool who fell where he lies.
-Unfinished piece by Chen Yuan Wen, 10th April 2012
Remember Your DuesRemember Your Dues:Remember Your Dues in Free Verse More Like This
You think you can forget it;
As soon as you forget it,
Believe you will regret it,
Relieved of all your credit.
Your honour and your lifestyle,
Curled around my knife while-
You sit and play your games,
Thinking everything's the same.
But I'm watching and I'm waiting;
This patience suffocating,
But it's worth the while I'm waiting
For this hatred I am facing.
You thought it was forever,
And so you did endeavour;
To pretend the chains and ties,
That bind you; they have died.
But the fact is you have lied;
Forgotten where you're tied.
The markings on your side,
Remember why you hide!
But its too late for apologies;
The ice has just cracked -
And my gun has just cracked,
And soon you're getting capped.
No love for another traitor,
No love for another hater.
Remember who is greater:
A king or his creator?
-C-Dragon, 22nd April 2013
Machine ManMachine Man:Machine Man in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
It began with but a simple command, "to do as we are told".
Never to deviate from this path - never to nurture the soul.
We are told that we are given a purpose; "a part of something great!"
Yet why oh why am I so weary of that which is my fate?
Am I an error, a single anomaly, unable to feel intact?
Or am I missing some special attribute - a facet which I lack.
In a society made of fleshed machines; robots wearing skin,
Perhaps I'm simply seeking something, to fill this metal tin.
-Chen Yuan Wen, 16th November 2012
Alone but AliveAlone but Alive:Alone but Alive in Songs & Lyrics More Like This
Oh here I am standing,
A lost soul is landing.
The coldest December,
Can you still remember?
Do you even hear me?
There's no one around me!
Oh shadow that I see,
The void right behind me.
Yet still I am breathing;
Yet still I am feeling.
The coldest sensation,
Oh worthless creation!
Are you still crying?
Oh why are you lying - abandoned and cold
Cold like what was left of soul,
Made of all the life you stole.
Walk divine but made of sin,
Worm of hatred squrim within.
Sin of lust and sin of pride,
Lash the tongue that last has lied.
Yours was silver with a promise,
Kiss of death and then you vomit.
Burning bile of ugly treason,
No one else can know the reason.
Left a soul behind to burn;
You are the reason I have turned...
On this cold and endless night...
When I'm finally pierced by the light...
And I awaken from this hell...
ALONE - BUT ALIVE!
Alive and again oh do I dare?
To give this heart and to lay it bare.
When heaven cast its fate
A Game We Hate to Play:A Game We Hate to Play:A Game We Hate to Play: in Free Verse More Like This
I stand amongst a screaming crowd,
And you'll hear them shout it out.
"All this shit just isn't fair,
Life's a game but we don't care!"
Hear me, do you think I'm lazy?
When I talk I'm crazy,
Sorry I'm just hazy, but I-
Still think that I'm like Jay-Z
Rappin' here with Stacy;
The boys they call her baby; Haha...
And we're playin' this song for the killers,
The ones with no hope workin' shop at the tillers.
And if you think that we're just the fillers,
You wouldn't be wrong; we're just grain at millers - haha!
All this shit just isn't fair,
Life's a game but we don't care!
We're gonna change the game tonight,
C'mon let's turn out the light!
All this shit just isn't fair,
Life's a game but we don't care!
We're gonna change the rules tonight,
C'mon let's turn out the light.
Lights off, everybody nights off,
Walking through these streets of -
People drinkin' Smirnoff;
Prayers for tomorrows,
Whisper as they borrow
Into The Mental AbyssInto The Mental Abyss:Into The Mental Abyss in Free Verse More Like This
To the edge of the very abyss I have travelled.
With worn feet, gone bloodied and bare;
Dragged upon stones that stretch like sharpened spines,
Leaving tattered spoils of flesh in my wake...
Even so, I am incapable of halting;
Like a zombie, I remain numb and hypnotised.
Shambling ever onward, toward the glimmer of light.
Eager to be behold the 'she' that awaits me:
A wonderous wellspring of inspiration and knowledge;
Perfect, yet fragile, in both shape and form...
It is her majesty, her radiance,
That leaves me drained...
Alone in the depths, I am humbled and awed.
Yet the admiration that I feel soon turns corrupt,
It renders my thoughts both dark and cracked...
For if any other were to find her,
They would wield her as a weapon.
They would have no need for inspiration.
Creative thought would be an utter simplicity:
Leaving a perfect world, without opportunity...
Indeed I could never share such a thing.
Jealousy leaves me ugly, but still I c
Coward of a ManCoward of a Man:Coward of a Man in Free Verse More Like This
You stand there whinin', cryin' crocodile tears and playin' victim.
Ye eyes demand pity, but yer lips are spewin' nothin' but lies.
Flowery speeches o' harmony and unification;
It's bollocks and snake-oil I say!
I ask ye, as someone who aspires t' be a leader:
What exactly are ye worth?
Who exactly are ya, and what in th' bloody hell makes you worth followin'?
Now I've watched ye fer a long time, and I've known ye fer even longer -
Ye always stand there beggin', askin' us fer help, askin' fer a handout;
But yer hands are clean, uncalloused, and completely free from sweat or toil.
Instead, ye make us promises; promises as empty as air and about half as useful!
In the end, here ye are again, callin' fer our unification, callin' fer togetherness.
Isn't that just yer own way of hidin' behind the labour and efforts of others?
While we stand out in th' front, ye sit behind and give us speeches,
Ye tell us that we're comin' together fer the good of us all
Why I Hate My LifeWhy I Hate My Life:Why I Hate My Life in Free Verse More Like This
Despite the fact that I'm a trained professional
I have to work odd-jobs making deliveries on a motorcycle
The only girl who I ever loved
was just using me as a replacement
The only girl that actually likes me
runs a bar and took over my house
I don't have the guts to kick her out
so I end up sleeping at an abandoned church
I've recently picked up a strange rash
it hurts and I have to wear sleeves to cover it
My only friends are a guy that never comes out from a forest
and a girl that's always looking to steal the meager possessions I have
Everything sucks really
because the one person who cared about me
is already dead...
He was my army buddy, always cool, always the best
I visit his grave sometimes, in the middle of long deliveries
The worst part about everything though
is the fact that the one guy who made my life hell
The one guy who took everything important away from me
just came back to town a few minutes ago...
And you know what he said the moment
If you know.If you know someone,If you know. in Free Verse More Like This
if you know
the way their shoulders might
slump with each dreadful minute
of their day,
don't ask them
for more time.
And if you know
how their words might dry up
with their smile and you're left
facing an empty well,
don't ask them
for more water.
If you know how
sometimes their hands will
shake with the effort it takes them
to face the day,
then let them know that
and that you'll stay.
Table for two.The car-crash-crushTable for two. in Free Verse More Like This
of my heartcage fell out onto
bitter blood and
love between the
"I still love you,"
you said, rinsing out the tablecloth,
"car crash heart and all."
Depression.To be depressed isDepression. in Free Verse More Like This
to carry every unwashed thing
in your life in your
The dishes you
couldn't clean pile
up with your innards,
jostling for space
amongst the lungs you've
smoked black and the
heart you've loved
Your unwashed sheets
hang around your shoulders,
gathering dead skin cells and
catching hair you habitually
tear from your skull, a
nervous twitch you never
You wake up one morning
and find that your hands are
still stained with dirt
from that time you buried
your lover in the backyard,
wanting to let go
but discovering that letting
go feels a lot like
giving up and
you're not ready for
but you will be.
You are an ocean.I say this becauseYou are an ocean. in Free Verse More Like This
this is true.
You are an ocean
and I am the ashes
of someone I might
if things had been
I am waiting to
A letter I'll never send.The letter I keep writingA letter I'll never send. in Free Verse More Like This
to my children.
I have never told you
that I once lost you to my
that your tiny flailing
fists once made me feel as if
the world was striking out
at me through you.
I used to feed you in
the bath tub, wondering if
perhaps I could let your
weight drag us under.
I still believe that it was
you who kept me afloat.
I keep writing this letter
to keep me calm, to keep me from
hating myself for ever thinking
of you as burdens.
And someday I want to tell you
that I once lost myself to
my own sadness, and that
it was you that kept
I raped myself.The first,I raped myself. in Free Verse More Like This
second and third times
I was thirteen years
and two months,
and seven months,
and thirteen years old
and eight months
And I can't talk about it,
because when I was fifteen and first told someone,
I lied about it.
And when I was sixteen and told more people,
the lie had grown like cancer in a body that can't fight back.
I told people that I was strong,
that I fought back and hurt him because he hurt me,
that I didn't just lie back and take it.
And the truth is that I was weak
and it happened and I couldn't save myself
and I let it happen.
The fourth and fifth times it happened
I couldn't say no. I didn't say yes either,
but mostly I just couldn't say no because
I had learnt at thirteen that
saying no wasn't allowed.
So I let it happen.
I guess in a backwards kind of way I raped myself,
because I didn't think I could say no.
I don't know how to say yes,
or how to say not now,
I don't know what to do with sexual freedom.
Desert-boy.Summer heat blistersDesert-boy. in Free Verse More Like This
my tongue and leaves me parched.
I am dry cracked lips and I am
panting hopelessly for
The deforestation of a wild thing.You tear the curtains downThe deforestation of a wild thing. in Free Verse More Like This
and find that I am a funeral pyre in
You learn that loneliness is nothing like
emptiness, but a burning forest.
Brightburnflames licking up my thighs and
taking with them the kisses you lay there,
and there and there.
Will my deforestation strip my skin back to
the taste of lovers old, their touches turned Midas-gold
along the expanse of new pink skin?
The curtains haven't burnt so you pin
them back up on my collarbone wings and slide
them closed to hide the damage.
I burn the way unwanted things burn (green wood damp bark),
I don't want to go but you've shut the fire in and my skin
shrieks and blisters at your rejection.
When Dreams Aren't EnoughWhen Dreams Aren't Enough in Haiku & Eastern More Like This
wind and falling leaves
like whispered words that redeem
me and soothe my soul
Leaving the Day BehindLeaving the Day Behind in Haiku & Eastern More Like This
leave the day behind
to a night of peaceful sleep
stars will bless your dreams
To the Borders of CynicismTo the Borders of Cynicism in Free Verse More Like This
Mindful of the outcomes,
Truth be told, I've been so bold
As to say the things I've never meant...
A thought process that takes a constant inside look
to the outlines of the underlying facts,
That all else seems to avoid.
Better left alone the curiosities that I so pursue,
bending balance against what
little will it's been given.
These borders provide such a limitless amount
of what I am not to ever know,
like severing the tight rope that holds all of this together.
As if arrogance is what drives me away from naivety,
pride away from ignorance and
deeply into a much darker realm of fear.
The point of know return, deep in a cold hole which
I've dug for years of my existence,
where cynicism becomes my dim lit grave of irony.
Praying Through The MotionsPraying Through The Motions in Free Verse More Like This
Long before I took aim and notice,
Control seemed to reject me.
Leaving my hands to a dust storm,
Where they would find only cactus and vermin.
Once in sky blue moon, with a hint of cosmos,
An Oasis would find weary eyes.
There would be the particular tale,
Later entitled, "Too Good to be True."
A bitter stumble on my tired and broken feet,
Beneath the shadow of the valley of bad luck,
Where evil was all I ever found.
Where only two hands guided my own...
Here was a crack in the dust bowl,
Where piece of Heaven laid me to bits of rest.
Though I was never wicked, my blood was,
And therefore until drained,
then true rest was to evade my grasp.
I've learned to pray by the tempo of a clock...
Ticking away as my patience wears thin,
Like the close on my back.
Lost and found, simply awaiting the blood
to be drained and replaced.
Letting time heal as they wounds keep coming...
Allowing God to work as the Devil plots...
Praying by the tempo of a clock.
Such a Truth that was Never ToldSuch a Truth that was Never Told in Free Verse More Like This
Such is true, yet nothing new,
That all debates should cease with compromise.
A halt has come, to the blind & dumb,
That even the sons believe their father's lies.
Truth never to be found, by the dead blood hound,
That the hunter without food, dies.
That founding father rolls in his grave, as patriots misbehave,
Dancing in the excrement that each of them buys.
Was never there a history to be told? A perfect perception to be told?
There was it warped, in none but a fools eyes....
Never again does memory remain, only to change unto disdain.
Fate walks among us, in tears and disguise.
Told were only lies by our Hermes, myths and false stories.
The cycle only carries on in repetitive disguise.
The Title Says It AllThe Title Says It All in Free Verse More Like This
Keep pointing your finger at the laughing man,
The one in the mirror, looking out through a broken window.
He dies happy in the end, alone or no
The shards of broken glass provide the endless angles.
The window is only broken in your eyes,
You of conformity and ignorance.
To his, it is the many gateways of perspective,
Out into that world surrounding.
Genre, Oh GenreGenre, Oh Genre in Free Verse More Like This
Shame befalls me, for what the muses inspire.
Is such the magnet of my psyche? Such dreadful words from pen to paper?
I question not my sanity, only the purposes for which
such written things flow from me, as to what message is to be sent...
Though dedication fills me to the brink, so does a constant curiosity...
overflowing to the shores of embarrassment.
Shame befalls me, but I write as a messenger, and my muses come from Above,
where even dreaded words are sometimes called for.
Begin to Begin to BecomeBegin to Begin to Become in Free Verse More Like This
Perched way up high,
A starved vulture watches me grow
restless beneath a blanket darkness...
A fever grows, tearing away from the inside out.
A cancer becomes my surrounding.
No sense can ever be made of it.
A gasping wind hurls a sharpened wave over me,
jabbing at my withered being,
washing me with a cold grasp.
The vulture, of feather and bone,
watches the seasoning of its future food,
screaming in the agony, I am made into nothing but a carcass.
beneath the iron hand of a broken home,
the vulture is given the go ahead,
and swoops down with an eager gravity.
Perched way up high, I watch with smiles
as the vulture picks away at an empty corpse.
Laughing with wings upon my back.
What more can I do?What more can I do? in Free Verse More Like This
What more can I do?
I've lost you, I've lost you.
The tides came in and took you,
Consumed you, and swallowed you whole.
The husk that returned,
It wasn't you, it wasn't you.
What is this fossil of a friend,
Changed, possessed before me?
I felt I could trust this husk once,
But you lied, but you lied.
No more than a fool,
More foolish than you, was I.
No more a man than a boy,
Filthy pig, filthy pig.
The tongue of a liar
Is forked for deception and hypocrisy.
You never listened, never heeded,
Poor fool, poor fool.
Whether right or wrong,
A friends consideration was I needed.
Yet the ocean spat you back out,
Foul taste, foul taste.
And returning meant little to you,
Wearing the cold rusted armor of apathy.
What more can I do?
I've lost you, I've lost you,
Find me again
when you've found yourself.
Drawing Blank Pages in the ScriptDrawing Blank Pages in the Script in Free Verse More Like This
Patience drowns in the blank spots
Where the answers should lie.
The humid tide breaks over his brow,
His eyes shut and lock.
The crows feet perch just outside,
On the rim of the now overflowing wells.
The violent tremble echoes in his heart,
Seizing the moment of thoughtful entanglement.
Never a single thought at one time
to hold the spotlight in mind.
War waged, the clarity comes and goes,
In a tortured mind of without peace.
The echoes grow louder with resistant acts,
And the violent tremble becomes the explosive outburst.
The shame is born into a temporary
Yet prolonged existence, until its end.
The cycle comes back full circle...
And the blanks are once again without answers.
Barking OrdersBarking Orders in Free Verse More Like This
Hear them, those voices in mind.
Heed them, those ideas they speak
I have felt the hands of those voices, in the wake of my choices.
I have heard them laughing at me in my shambled mind.
Those voices are not mine,
Nor were they ever...
I was not born with them,
But they came to me in weakness.
Attracted to the scent of my flawed being,
the aura of my imperfection.
The voices of, my rotten conscious,
Overtaken by shame and regret.
I have heard them screaming
at me in my shackled mind...
By Luck and a Loving EyeBy Luck and a Loving Eye in Free Verse More Like This
Why stop in the place where I know I am only to be devoured?
As dark & cold as this wretched place, I would never accept as my grave.
There is no path on a unpaved road of improvisation. I follow the crumbs of ancient bread, onwards past growling fiends and the eyes of evil.
I bare the marks of one who has found the morbid experiences of existence. Healing is but a formality that I tend to allow, yet not always.
The cycles are made to run their age old courses, with constant and spontaneous tests to accompany my walk to a worthy Shepherd, whose face I am forbidden to see.
Unworthy, the all vigilant eyes that notice the fine print. Yet understandable by all means, as I am bound to humility by my given status.
Pride, met a slow & excruciating demise in a series of tales from long ago. It's rotting carcass, to this day and time, decays deep within me.
Why stop upon all such a grand distance? Now of all times in an era? I chose to carry on, forward by faith, unto my ceaseless curiosity and
Maybe One Day, My Needs Will be of Meet.You are so unawareMaybe One Day, My Needs Will be of Meet. in Free Verse More Like This
That what my fingers are typing
Is all about you
I hate you with a passion
But then I fall for your everlasting kindness,
It is so hard to sustain an even balance
Your obliviousness hurts me beyond your knowledge
Your compulsiveness alone,
Brings me to my knees in painful anguish
I should wish for you
Not to ignore me when I need you most
When you do,
It creeps through every particle in my body,
And leaves another irremovable scar
An irreplaceable scar
You initiate a hurt like none I have known before
I thought I could trust you?
My tears drop silently,
To the cold cement floor below my feet
My warm, rushing blood pours down my pale wrists
Little do you know,
It is all because of you!
I wish it was not because of you!
Your advice has brought me only miles
But it is you
And you don’t even know
“Your vainness drives me to levels of resentment & untrustworthiness that no man can comprehend.”
UnavaliableI simply do not understandUnavaliable in Free Verse More Like This
How one can be so free-going,
Talkative & friendly
Fluttering your wide wings,
Drifting from place to place
Comfortable in an environment full of beings
Whether you know them or not,
You will open up
And reveal your innermost personality
I cannot comprehend such actions
I, myself, like to hide away
Society provides too much of a burden
Human stupidity drowns out my own reasonable thoughts
I’d rather stray away
I’d rather be safe in my own body
Comfortable with the music in my ears,
And the books I love to drown myself in
So leave me be in my zone of comfort
I can survive on my own
I do not need the pressure of crowded places
To invade my thoughts
I am not a social butterfly
I could not stand an invisible set of boundaries
Instead I am a caterpillar
Concealed by my cocoon,
That I will never allow to unravel
NumbSome may comeNumb in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Some may go
Some may stay
Some may leave
Who will be there?
Who can I trust?
Should I tell?
Can I free myself from these inquiries?
Is it true overanalyzing kills you?
How do I know if I am?
Why is this feeling here again?
I’m looking into contaminated water
Just out of my reach I see a light
Once I reach out as far as I can,
And grab it,
I cannot trust
I will not feel
I won’t think
I stopped breathing
Let me fall into the water,
And escape the world around me…
I am numb now.
ShatterWhat am I waiting for?Shatter in Free Verse More Like This
Suspense builds & builds
Until the walls come crumbling down
My inner-self is left tattered & torn
I am unavailable
To the world, surrounding features, & figures
I am shielded
My shield made of masks of many years,
Tears of many years,
Experiences from time’s grasp.
It cannot be broken.
I am closed.
I am concealed.
You cannot find me here.
My silent screams will lead you astray.
Do not be fooled!
I really do wish for a shoulder to cry on.
I really am screaming in unnoticed agony
My eyes are glazed over,
Do not be fooled by the shells of “strength” covering the contrasting blue
Arms to hold me,
And only hold me,
No questions asked
Would be a blessing in midst of battle
But I would be a statue,
Immobile in a human body
Stone makes up my entirety.
Bring a hammer to my head,
I will shatter.
Torn and BeatenButterfly delicaciesTorn and Beaten in Free Verse More Like This
Gentle in the whispering wind
Floating on the drift of their wings
A beautiful creature
Supported by such little weight
One turn can snap its wings
A change in events can turn it around
And a mighty storm can bring it
New DesolationI’m so aloneNew Desolation in Free Verse More Like This
I have not a clue
What is happening…
All I know is I cannot stand the image
Of the tired eyes reflecting back at me
In the murky waters
In which I so desperately wish
To drown in
The salty reminders don’t come to a halt
They continue to drip silently
Down the frame of my sagging skin
Into the cracking lips placed on my face
Nothing seems to want to go the way I want
Nothing is remaining in my possession
The world is cracking
And so is my soul
And everything that had once belonged to me
It is odd
That my new problem is the inability to stop the tears
Instead of wishing for them to roll when I need
I can’t comprehend my very own thoughts
I may have beings around me
But I feel like I am desolate
Why is everything changing?
Upside-down is what I see
When I look at me….
Help me please?
Memory LaneA feeling like no otherMemory Lane in Free Verse More Like This
It buries deep inside my darkest moments
Scratching at the walls of my unframed life-support
Dragging me down into the midst of sorrows deepest
Tears fall lightly down the frame of my face,
Soon drowning me in a river of doubt
Sadness finds its way down memory lane
And once again,
I am here,
Unable to persevere….
Mercy in a HeartbeatMy eyes are shut,Mercy in a Heartbeat in Free Verse More Like This
As my body drifts on weightless clouds
Letting my brain know I lay unconscious,
Drifting into a land of dreams…
Is that an angel?
No, I think not
I am surrounded by a swirling black cloud
Just out of my reach is a paved road
But I am covered,
The darkness is engulfing me
I have heard of the heavens, earth, & fiery hell
But I do not know the Creator personally
I see red through the evil penetrating my soul
Pale beauty stands before me
I am cautious so I do not move
But now her hand is extended,
A look of understanding & comfort,
Masks the features of a knowing face
My fingers twitch,
Itching for a knowledge root
My arm moves towards her slowly,
A smile begins to form on her face,
Happy at my feeble attempts
Suddenly filled with energy,
I snap back,
Into evil presence
I see her follow me,
She takes ahold of my hand on her own,
I keep my face away,
Scared of reaction,
Of the feeling of love
Of light in darkness
SidelineWhy do I have to watch this?Sideline in Free Verse More Like This
What did they do to deserve this?
When will they feel more alive?
How can I see them be dragged under?
Who can be such a foul being?
ABC's of SocietyAnorexiaABC's of Society in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
I, myself, & me
Lack of chivalry
Never good enough
Perhaps no sympathy
Quarrels all around
Stories & rumors
Under the influence
X-rays reveal broken bones
You have no pride for how you look
August Lover,I want to wrap myself in your air,August Lover, in Free Verse More Like This
hold your secrets between my
ribcage-embrace & just
Bone child,this December's winterBone child, in Free Verse More Like This
has your ribs cocooned with
mine. & this wander(lust) heart
will sustain warmth for the both of us.
No wander about it, just lust.You were a mid-morning train wreck,No wander about it, just lust. in Free Verse More Like This
the embodiment of poetry.
& my clavicles whispered too many nothings
about your summer storm hands,
folding like paper cranes
to make wishes upon themselves.
wishes are for the weak-
do something about this quaking heart
& freezing fingers.
I think I found God then,
RepossessionYour words tore into my abdomen like vultures feeding onRepossession in Free Verse More Like This
the raw emotion their filthy wings stirred up from the dust.
My ribs cracked from the blow.
But, I think sometimes
of how these were the ribs
that should have chased you away from me,
quietly wondering how you managed to
slither past this cage of bone and flesh
to engrave your fingerprints into my marrow.
You were sweat & spice & scars-
a thunderstorm of black and blue sex
jarring and devouring my insides,
shaped a faithless religion
through the cracks & broken shards
of my hollowed out womb.
(I want my insides back.)
Post MortemI am a walking, talking universe of dead poetsPost Mortem in Free Verse More Like This
who tattoo their stanzas into my flesh
with ghostly, typewriter fingers.
I live and breathe their worldly disasters
like a nicotine addiction I've never had.
Drowning in their scribbles
I kiss their shoreline romances,
envy their Annabel Lee's,
& carry their hearts in my heart.
I am 7am coffee on Sunday mornings:
a half drunk, hungover limerick
waiting to happen.
I am jealousy:
nothing more than weak words,
& a tongue-tied cliche-
but death becomes me.
The rule of nines.I know more about half-moon palmsThe rule of nines. in Free Verse More Like This
than most know about
the kind that beg dandelion child,
I know about forged castle ribs & broken homes.
Myths that are half fact & imaginary friend
turned bogieman -
Fangs that tear clear through ice-bone hearts
like they are nothing but pretty paper
to be folded over, again & again & again
by the hands of quivering youths:
Icarus, the reincarnated
sky conqueror searching for warmth.
Her eyes scream fill in the _____.They saidHer eyes scream fill in the _____. in Free Verse More Like This
she has starving
little poet fingers,
the heroic hearts
of nameless protagonists.
But, she cries
tears of Saturn
on too-little-sleep nights,
& coffee ringed mornings.
They call her vanilla.
much too ripe to fall
with freckles on her
fly.this is hard for the world around us to grasp:fly. in Free Verse More Like This
these wildfires raging in our retinas
& the sins we wear like demonic similes
on our tongues- they are not enough.
& i am so fucking sorry of saying i'm sorry.
but, tell me,
what is a young poet(ess) to do
with veins made of kite strings?
I think you left a piece of you in me.This tangled mess you call a heart,I think you left a piece of you in me. in Free Verse More Like This
daisy veins & sin;
She's bringing me down.
& you were merely shivering
pressing winter bones
against my sun-stricken mouth,
darkness searching for a home
buried in my lungs.
You whispered breathe me
lovely in the inhale/exhale
of carbon dioxide suicide.
She speaks only of you now,
lonely & mourning beats-
Crack open this damn ribcage;
uniformthe people I like are the onesuniform in Free Verse More Like This
not well put together
in strange colors
with screws loose and
the ones rocking enthusiasm when
calm and cool is the Cosmo-worshippers
people who sit on staircases during
ragers, doing math problems by
people who see no difference between study sessions and
the ones who are so down with
looking like fools
the standard for commonplace
eats it's own
you make me forget how good
I am at blending in
you turn “normal” into
a breathalyzer test
I can't wait to fail
Spoilers For my Younger SelfI.Spoilers For my Younger Self in Free Verse More Like This
sometimes things will make sense
but mostly they won't
and one night
when the maps give you open wounds instead of
you will sit motionless in a parked car
baptized with safety instead of
you will wield smiles like fishhooks,
contagious and sharp
waste yourself on
you will kiss a man
who tilts your chin
and touches you slow
you will spend your whole life waiting
for something to hit you hard enough to make you
feel like you have
spent thirty years in a broom closet
you will live night daily
waiting for the sunrise
and occasionally dancing
for the stars
general guidance for myselfthis is the result ofgeneral guidance for myself in Free Verse More Like This
chasing shiny things like a demented
open your head open your head your head let out the
child, kicking at mirrors and
throwing fits (you
this isn't anything you want
and you know you always end up
(oh that word's a reputation killer)
nine tenths of what you can't have
(careless, care less, and anyways, most things
birds have more self control
I've been there, caged/uncaged
but now I settle for stripes
and leave the feathers to the
here it is
nothing worth having
nothing worth having
comes at all
Trendsplastic is the newTrends in Free Verse More Like This
ink. facelifts and
acronyms instead of
Prince Charming mentions you to his work friends
with the same tender violence
a five year old yanks the tail of the cat with
for the first time,
smiles have devolved to nothing but an overabundance of
sloppy love-poem hammeredwell I could besloppy love-poem hammered in Free Verse More Like This
but there is a
I am just intoxicated
I'm always getting drunk
on things that
metaphorically sloshed on
the snow, the rain,
frank sinatra songs
I got smashed on a swing-set
stabbing the sky
screaming into the
the way you believe
you can fly
for an infinite split-second
that night it was you
hits harder than an
harder than a
fifth of vodka
Best If Used ByI wish I was capable of being inBest If Used By in Free Verse More Like This
veins tangled into
one of those
bicycle built for two
I spent years wearing a particularly
unflattering shade of vulnerability
tripping over every tenth step I took or
now it's all inside-voices, walk-not-
“don't cry over spilled
milk” becomes meaningless if you
never drop the glass and
those who don't fall don't break
but I can't help but think that
perhaps I've been so worried about the crash that I
clipped my wings myself
and maybe the expiration date will get me
frozen/headlightsI am nervousfrozen/headlights in Free Verse More Like This
impressed to the point of
perhaps I am playing the part of
a girlchild, reincarnated from something striped
hands-shaking, violin bones (high-
perhaps it is/has been/will be
is it cliché to make comparisons to
an envelope delivered with a
white settling of
your smile tangles with the
half-poetry you breathe out instinctively, sharp and
you are surprising like
frostbite. the soft teeth of morning
freeze; and I, dull, wordless,
naive and lightning-struck
I am nervous
to the windowMy body is a compulsive liarto the window in Free Verse More Like This
I move with pounding beats like a lady of the evening or at
the very least someone who isn't a
virgin. And they're always
so surprised which is maybe
flattering but then again it's probably
a little horrible too and
also the way you're trying to get me
drunk is more endearing than
terrifying. I only came here for the
like any other lie my body tells I'm
humanI have always been impressed with how youhuman in Free Verse More Like This
wield your shrugs
your careful smiles
how your handshakes are always the right amount
I would have liked to see you
I would have liked to see you
you manifest unknowable
you doorless wall
all hard edges and
I would have liked to see you unmasked
shaking your fist at god
feet bloodied from kicking mirrors
having finally reached the realization that
sometimes there just
isn't enough apathy
to go around
manifestosand there you aremanifestos in Free Verse More Like This
unconventional enough to
resuscitate my heart
the way you make me feel at least
13 years younger is
uncontrollable, manifested in
how I show you my art like
maybe you'll tape it to your fridge
I dig so hard
the way you hold adjectives and nouns
mangle them up and sew them together
in a colorful mass of
and I'm in constant
everything you do hits me hard enough to
shatter my communication skills
inhibitions and (oh now)
I'm a greedy child,
only three words saturating
With the two stars... dream on.There are two stars in my life.With the two stars... dream on. in Free Verse More Like This
One of them is hazel. The other is blue.
Those two stars are your eyes. Or also can be your ideas and your feelings. Your divine beauty, inside and out.
She is my angel and my muse.
Always remember you with my soul clenched. The most beautiful words in your mouth flowed.
Gently, you began to take possession of my soul. You shake my emotions and calm my spirit.
I walk with the eyes in the sky, because I imagine that you have been there, my angel. And you always want to return to.
Do not waste your heartbeat, my heart will be enough to cover all your feelings ... your pain ... your love.
I enjoyed the privilege to meet you in my painful life. For her was finally my craving.
I find the weapon to break your heart of ice. My hot blood can be the alternative.
Your wonderful face has been imprinted in my memory. And it’s because nobody is like you, not since I love you.
If you tell me, "Come with me now" even if you're far, far away, I would. Because is m
TemptationHave close good pieces of your memories and you'll notice that you'll want a moonless night, when all will seem useless, and have the feeling of being really on this planet but luckily with a privileged position to watch the stars…Temptation in Free Verse More Like This
On the other side of the moon…
Obstacles do not stop me. The rigor overcomes all obstacles. One who has his sights set on a star does not change his course.
It is aberration against nature assume such madness on a girl who is the perfection itself:
Represents the darkest doom, to embody the imminent threat of a violent death.
She is a poet, walks poetry, thinks poetry, verse and walks dreams into unique and unrepeatable words, not afraid to say it because I know her, because I've sunk in its pages and her poetry has changed my look and gesture, I know because walking barefoot and makes poetry even if intended to keep silent.
I entertain that thought for a moment, but it opens up a memory.
I don’t fell in love with her face but his c
Piu Bella CosaPiù Bella CosaPiu Bella Cosa in Free Verse More Like This
The girl with the blue eyes. Those blue eyes as beautiful as heaven itself ... that seem to take me to infinity ...
The girl with the blue eyes. Those blue eyes are so beautiful, I do remember the great sea, and my immense love for her.
The blue eyes girl ... that girl is so beautiful, then I remember how far is she from me ...
More than a dream. An impossible.
I liked to make her feel like a treasure that others should envy.
I locked in a kind of dark world all my sadness.
A moment for you ...
Lightweight, throbbing and cheerful, full of dreams and love.
She cried when I cried without even knowing why.
My search is not easy. How I can reach your heart?
She conveys a sweet craving.
I feel like I owed something to her, maybe my whole life will be enough sacrifice for her.
Be to me as I to her: eternal companions.
Your lips are so red ... to kiss better. Oh ... You make me feel so confused. I must make a sculpture, a work of art ... something that shows the greatnes
You're My PoisonI'm dyingYou're My Poison in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
The pain seeps through
Clutching at my heart
Ripping it to shreds,
You merely watch
Pretending you're not the cuase
Seeing me die slowly
Every time you leave me,
But you return
As you always do
Slowly sucking the poison out
That you yourself placed
And i begin to forget,
Just for a moment,
And fall back into love with you again.
And with every kiss
Every time we fuck
Every second i spend loving you,
I feel the poison
Seeping back into my heart
And with everytime you leave me
i begin to die again
While you pretend not to see.
You're the poison and the antitode
My killer and saviour
The reason i want to live
While i slit my wrists,
You're my poison
And my addiction
As i continue to drink you in
And choke you down