Dragonborn: The Legacy Prologue - Coming of AgeDragonborn: The Legacy Prologue - Coming of Age in Drama More Like This
A/N: With the defeat of Alduin in 4E 205, the Fifth Era began. Rowan was born in Year Zero of the Fifth Era.
* * *
5E 11, 20 Second Seed
Ten-year-old Rowan Stormblade crept through the Cistern slowly, silently, hugging the wall as best she could. She would do it this time; she just knew it. Her daddy was distracted, talking to Rune about a job he had done. He didn’t even know she was in the Cistern. Just a few more feet. She slipped across the doorway leading to the vault, and she thought she saw Rune’s eyes flash in her direction—they were hard to miss these days, their golden glow unmistakable even in the dark—but he didn’t show any sign that he had seen her. Then she was right behind her daddy. Slowly, carefully, she eased forward and reached for the coin purse that hung from his belt. She took hold of the string with one hand and started to cut with her dagger. She had done it!
Brynjolf raised hi
Dragonborns with Fangs One - Call for HelpUlfric Stormcloak looked out his bedroom window at the morning sun, which peeked out from behind the clouds. A few snowflakes drifted from the sky, but all in all, it was a lovely day in Eastmarch. The Evening Star temperatures were frigid as usual, but after the events of two days ago, he knew it could be a lot worse.Dragonborns with Fangs One - Call for Help in Drama More Like This
Nilsine groaned behind him, and he turned away from the window and went to the bed, where he sat down next to her and brushed a lock of hair behind her ear. She had been ill for several days, and Ulfric worried for her well-being. “How do you feel?”
“Better,” his wife said. “I may be able to eat something.”
“I’ll call for Jorleif.”
“Is it still dark out?”
“No, the sun is up.”
She sat up and leaned in to kiss him with soft lips. “Then I’ll say ‘good morning.’ Ulfric, why did that happen?”
“I don’t know, my love. But I’m going to call for help.
A Nightingale's Tale 6 - Going-Away PresentSelene went home, cleaned up, and got some rest as Maven had instructed. The next morning, she went to the Scorched Hammer to sell the sword Maven had given her.A Nightingale's Tale 6 - Going-Away Present in Drama More Like This
Balimund, the smith who owned the shop, was working at the forge, while his adoptive son Asbjorn hammered away at a piece of armor. She knew Asbjorn, who had also lived at Honorhall, although he usually didn’t have much to say beyond hello. Balimund, however, was a different story, and Selene adored him. The friendly blacksmith was in his mid-forties, burly, with dirty blond hair. She suspected he was handsome under all the soot that covered his face, but she had never seen him cleaned up. Balimund looked the sword over, tested the weight, and even went so far as to make a small cut in his arm to test the enchantment. “Hmm,” he muttered. “It has a fear enchantment on it.”
“Is that how you tell? You try it on yourself? Just like eating an alchemy ingredient to see what it does.”
A Nightingale's Tale 1: SidetrackedA Nightingale's Tale 1: Sidetracked in Drama More Like This
Honorhall Orphanage. It had seemed so much bigger when Selene was a child. That was the way of things. The older she got, the smaller the world became. Old Grelod wouldn't look so big, either. She'd be stooped, her bones brittle with age, palsy sending terrible shivers in her bony hands. Selene wouldn't even have to use a blade. She could probably break the matron's neck with her bare hands.
But no. That was not why she was in Riften. She had made her choice, and she was going to stand by it. At least for the time being, Grelod the Kind would live. The decision had been for her benefit, not Grelod's; the desire for revenge was such a heavy burden to carry around. She wasn't an angry adolescent anymore. She was a grown woman, and a hero at that, although she hated the word. The old witch hadn't ruined Selene's life; she had shaped it, no matter how harshly. She wouldn't be where she was today if not for Grelod.
Thus, she turned her gaze away from the orphanage and walked up the stairs t
An Operative's Tale 8: EvictedAn Operative's Tale 8: Evicted in Drama More Like This
Ulfric Stormcloak, Jarl of Eastmarch, hereby recognizes the contribution of Selene of Whiterun, a/k/a the Dragonborn, to the Stormcloak Rebellion and the City of Windhelm. She has brought honor to herself and to the Stormcloak army, has been instrumental in its rapid advance across Skyrim, and has rid this city of a murderer plaguing its streets.
In appreciation of her service to the Stormcloak Rebellion and the City of Windhelm, Selene of Whiterun, a/k/a the Dragonborn, shall hereafter be known as STORMBLADE.
Decreed 3 Sun's Dusk 4E 202
Jarl Ulfric Stormcloak
* * *
Ulfric also promoted Selene to Commander, and she abandoned the blue leather and mail for the bearskin uniform. The edict and promotion made Selene uncomfortable, but Ulfric told her she should get used to such attention. "Whether you like it or not, you're a hero, Selene, and people take notice of that. If you wanted to live a quiet life, you probably should have stayed with the Companions."
Dragonborns with Fangs 8 - FalloutSelene didn’t have much to say as she and Blanche started back across Skyrim. After a while, Blanche broke the silence. “If you'd still like to give me a good backhand, I'll oblige.”Dragonborns with Fangs 8 - Fallout in Drama More Like This
Selene looked down at her gloved hand and chuckled. “If you’d said that six hours ago, I might have done it. But I find I don’t really want to hit you. Besides, they say if you spank a child, the punishment is over quickly and it doesn’t really sink in. I’d rather just let you know how disappointed I am in you.”
Mild annoyance seeped into her scent. “Not all vampires are like that.”
“Look, I can understand feeding. You do what you have to do to survive. But the things I saw in that castle . . . if you’re not like that, why do you allow it? You’re the lady of the manor, aren’t you?”
“The castle is meant to be a safe haven for our kind. Keeping human cattle makes that much easier . . . and less dangerous. I
Dragonborns with Fangs 2 - BlancheSelene left the palace with a plan to head north, but she wanted to stop in and see Farkas first to visit, particularly so she could meet Blanche. And who knew? Maybe they could help with the mystery of the disappearing sun. A letter she had received from Farkas said his wife was “real smart.”Dragonborns with Fangs 2 - Blanche in Drama More Like This
She walked purposefully through the deserted streets of Windhelm to Hjerim. When she knocked on the door, there was a lot of scuffling inside, along with a few giggles and whispers. The door opened a crack and a small, dark face poked out. "'Hello, who's there?"
Then a fair, big-eyed face appeared. "Oh! Visitors!"
Both disappeared, leaving the door ajar, and Selene could hear them calling something about "a pretty lady with a ring in her nose" on the porch. Somewhere, a dog started barking. No one came back to the door right away; but there was a little movement, and a small, white fox peered its pointed face out and looked up at Selene.
Selene’s face lit up, and she knelt to sa
Dragonborns with Fangs 9 - Preparation for WarSelene and Blanche stopped at Oengul’s forge and restocked their arrows, then went into the White Phial for some potions. Most of the vendors’ stalls were still closed, but the women were able to get some mead, cheese, and dried meat from Niranye before heading out of town. Selene borrowed Brann again, and they were on their way.Dragonborns with Fangs 9 - Preparation for War in Drama More Like This
They rode hard for a while, but as they reached the north end of the Aalto, Selene slowed up and turned to Blanche. “Listen, I’m sorry for what Ulfric did.” Blanche raised the eyebrow at her, and she added, “I know he’s not my responsibility, but I still feel I need to apologize for him.” She breathed a heavy sigh. “You want to know a secret? I’m so mad at him that I could Shout him across the room, but on some level I still love the man. Don’t get me wrong—I worship the ground Brynjolf walks on, and I’m happier than I’ve ever been—but Ulfric is the kind of man who stays
Dragonborns with Fangs Five - SurpriseBlanche and Selene had restocked their food supplies and made it out of Winterhold by noon. The sky behind them threatened a snowstorm, but if they moved quickly they would probably be able to outrun it, so they rode hard for a while. When it looked like they were south of the storm line, they slowed to give the horses a break. Deciding to rest in the evening and ride through the night, they stopped just north of Windhelm and made camp. They were close enough to town that Selene thought Blanche might want to stay at Hjerim for the night, but she shook her head.Dragonborns with Fangs Five - Surprise in Drama More Like This
“It is hard on them when I leave. I would rather not put them through it again so soon.”
Selene munched on dried venison and cheese, washing it down with a bottle of Black-Briar Reserve. She watched as Blanche picked gingerly at her food.
“You don’t eat much,” she noted. “So what’s your story, Blanche? You’re so mysterious; curiosity is killing me. I don’t bite, you know. Com
The Elfin Chronicles Part 1The Elfin Chronicles Part 1 in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
THE ELFIN CHRONICLES
CHAPTER 1: An Unexpected Return
A flash of light and a puff of smoke sparked from inside a lonely wooden hut. Through the smoke, an old man's voice could be heard croaking in pain. "P.... pp..... please, princess, I have no idea where she is... Please have mercy, princess, the k...k...king shares nothing with me!"
"You're lying, Gradious. We both know you were my father's advisor, and that he shared everything with you. TELL ME WHERE MY DEAR LITTLE SISTER IS!" A woman's voice screeched in rage.
The old man must have shaken his head in refusal, because another white flash of bright light exploded inside, and from the door emerged a beautiful (although currently enraged) elfin woman, blue skinned, violet-haired, with a shapely body and very bright hazel eyes although perhaps they were bright with fury. In her slender hand she carried a staff topped with a four-horned skull. She said not a word, but her high-heeled sanda
Elfin Chronicles Prequel: BloodlinesElfin Chronicles Prequel: BloodlinesElfin Chronicles Prequel: Bloodlines in Short Stories More Like This
"Well if it isn't the little freak!" A group of young elfin children surrounded an even younger, blue-skinned, violet-haired girl that had previously not even noticed them. She couldn't have been more than six years old.
"That IS a nice dress, freak!" A pink-haired elfin piped up. "Too bad we're gonna ruin it today!" He grinned.
"Don't you know who I am? I am Princess Konniechora Usagi! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!"
The boy smirked. "Why should we, princess? There should be no freaks around; everyone is the same, more or less... I don't care who you are. The kingdom of Eticon is strictly a no-freaks kingdom!"
Konniechora just took off running for the castle in the distance, trying to block out and ignore the trailing cries of 'freak ' and 'Smurf girl' that echoed after her.
"Be still, Konniechora!" A deep booming voice sliced through the air like a sword. The owner of the voice was a broad shouldered
Elfin Chronicles part 2Elfin Chronicles part 2 in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
The Elfin Chronicles
CHAPTER 2: The Truth that Lies Beneath
"Miss Usagi. Having a nice sleep, are we?" The teacher's stern voice broke the stillness of the classroom, causing the ginger-haired girl to blush heavily with embarrassment. This was Tammitara Usagi. She was an astonishing clone of the Elfin queen which Konniechora had so quickly disposed of: fair, ivory-coloured skin complimented her ginger hair, the only obvious difference being Tammitara's eyes, which were an unusual shade of emerald green.
"I'm sorry, sir," Tammitara replied meekly, trying not to let her voice quiver.
A pretty blonde girl was sitting just across the isle, and she waited until the teacher's back was turned to pass Tammitara a little slip of paper with a wink. This was Tammitara's best friend, Bethany. Tammitara opened the paper to read a quickly scrawled message of "Let's talk at break." She sent Bethany a little nod.
"Tam, is something the matter?" Beth asked. "I can te
ETICON'S CHRONICLES CHAPTER 6: Forgiven and ForgotCHAPTER 6: Forgiven and Forgotten?ETICON'S CHRONICLES CHAPTER 6: Forgiven and Forgot in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Konniechora circled Duke's body like a wild animal, relaying a telepathic message to Tammitara.
"Little sister, there is no-one to protect you and nowhere else to run. If you surrender yourself, then you and your human pet need not die painfully." Konniechora turned to Meegon. "Prove your usefulness to me and kill the human girl."
Tammitara ran through the entrance.
"Wait! Please, don't kill her! Don't kill me, Konniechora, I'm your sister! And besides, there is someone to see you!" She panted breathlessly.
Meegon quickly drew her broadsword and made to attack Tammitara but the older woman grabbed Meegon's sword, stopping the assassin before turning around with a flick of her ponytail, her thin lips curled into a sneer.
"Oh? Is that so? Which human would be so pathetically stupid to approach me?"
A familiar figure, one that both Usagi sisters had not seen for years, appeared behind Tammitara.
Konniechora did a double take and almost dro
Elfin Chronicles Chapter 5CHAPTER 5: A stick in the mudElfin Chronicles Chapter 5 in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
"Very good, my student, you successfully blocked my attack." An old, cracked voice croaked through the air in the lush gorassy forest. The speaker was an old elfin man, voice full of praise for the young girl that stood in front of him. This was no usual girl, her visible eye was hazel, and the other hidden by the long purple bangs that hung over the left half of her face. She was unusually tall for a ten year old, like the man she was Elfin but her skin was pale blue. The girl was clad in a simple brown tunic and dark blue trousers. Armour covered her shoulders and her wrists were encased in armoured gauntlets.
"I am ready to have another go when you are, Eecon!" She growled, raising her Katana in front of herself defensively. Her chain mail skirt jingled as she shifted her pose.
"No, young one." Eecon smiled. "You are young and have trained enough for today. Go, get some rest."
The girl sighed and sheathed her Katana in the scabbard that hung on her back
Elfin Chronicles Part 3Elfin Chronicles Chapter 3: Adrift in TokyoElfin Chronicles Part 3 in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
As soon as she left Eticon, Konniechora proceeded to Tokyo, where she eventually founud herself lost in a dark alleyway. Konniechora's prime concern, however, was not for her physical safety as she walked past biker gang, but rather her intentions were focused on locating Tammitara, and she didn't give the gang even a glance.
Unfortunately for her, they weren't going to let her get away that easily, and the sound of revving engines caused Konniechora to pause and turn to stare at them. "Bad idea, boys " She thought to herself, grinning like a maniac.
The leader of the grimy bunch drove up to her on his Harley Davison and let out a wolf-whistle. "You lost, Hun?" He called mockingly. Little did he know that was the exact reaction she wanted, a perfect opportunity to beat him at his own game.
Konniechora put on her most seductive smile and said "I suppose I am. Can you help lil' old me find som
Elfin Chronicles Chapter 4Chapter 4: A Trick or trap?Elfin Chronicles Chapter 4 in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Tammitara sprinted out of her house, still sobbing. "What am I going to do?"
"Tammitara Persephone Usagi, get back here!" Duke howled after her. Seeing that she wasn't going to comply, he took off after her as best he could. She didn't stop to wait for him, but he was able to catch hold of one of her red ponytails, which forced her to stop before she lost her crowning glory.
Duke pulled her aside and took her by the shoulders. His hazel eyes locked on to her green ones.
"What if," he asked, slowly phrasing his sentence, "Konniechora is only tricking you into coming to her? And Bethany is actually all right?"
Tammitara broke her eyes from his, still sobbing. "And what if she actually has Bethany?"
Duke looked uncomfortable with that thought. "Tam, I am no coward, but considering she slew your race singlehandedly, Konniechora should be kept well away from and I have no intention of handing you over to
dream boyThe man I fall in love with should have three specific things. One, his eyes have to be an intent ocean. I want to be able to see the churning of the water, and beauty when the sky reflects it's bluish colors onto the mass of water. I want to adventure in them, I want to catch myself staring up into them until I get lost in the ocean like a silly mermaid. They have to be soft, and focused, and full of intent. He needs to be gentle, treat me gently as he can and maybe a bit worrisome, but strong and knows how to be there for me. When he holds me, I want his hands to be strong on my body, but still soft enough that they send chills through my skin, and make me feel like I'm higher than the clouds. Thirdly, he needs to know how to love me, and be there for me while I'm there for him. He needs to call, and support me, and ask me to play video games with him, and appreciate me for who I am so I can appreciate him. Maybe he's out there, waiting for me, asking for a green eyed, awkward, sillydream boy in Emotional More Like This
meaningless.my hands crawl across my face, and my body sprawled on the floor.meaningless. in Free Verse More Like This
naked physically, emotionally drained, mentally unstable.
tears stain my face as i question my worth.
physically naked, drained emotionally, unstable mentally.
nothing matters anymore, especially not myself.
i am worth nothing, and i deserve nothing more than my worth.
so, basically i don't deserve anything.
naked physically, emotionally drained, mentally unstable.
my friends don't talk to me, are they really friends?
physically naked, drained emotionally, unstable mentally.
i don't matter to them, so i don't matter anymore.
i feel invisible, frankly, i am.
i am the girl you pass by without taking a second glance.
i'm not special, unique, or beautiful.
i'm not necessary, lovable, courageous, or wanted.
so why should i want myself?
tuck me in, sing me a lullaby.
i don't belong, so why don't you say goodbye?
sadly i ponder,
in absence, i hide.
dreaming all the way into the night.
A Love SongI'm sittin' here alone, thinking of you,A Love Song in Songs & Lyrics More Like This
Ponderin' all the things that we could do.
The smell of your breath,
The taste of your lips.
Why can't every moment feel like this?
Your strong arms around me, holdin' me close.
Shelterin' me from the things I fear the most.
I wish you were here, and not just a memory.
I wish you near, to remind me you love me.
Baby I'm missin' you, oh so much,
Baby I love you, but that's not enough.
What I feel for you is more than love.
So why don't you come back,
To me and to stay?
'Cause baby, I'll love you no matter what anyway.
Remember the day that you took my hand?
It'll always be a simple touch, one that I won't miss.
It was like a puzzle,
Finished and complete,
'Cause I knew that someone loved me, here and today.
And sometimes when you hold me,
It's like you'll never see me again,
But I promise you baby,
I don't want us to end.
Baby I'm missin' you, oh so much,
Baby I love you, but that's not enough.
What I feel for you is more than love,
So why don't
Death?What happens when you die? Do you see the light, and end up in God's arms? Do you wake up in another world, another body? Does everything just go black, and you just don't exist anymore? Is it easy to not exist? Is it hard to just not exist? Do you watch over the people you care about? Do you grow wings and fly around? Can you cheat death? Can you become someone else? Are you born into someone new, and forget all about the life before? Is there a heaven? Is there a hell? Is there something beyond us that watches us when we pass on? What do we pass on to; another place? Do we follow God? Or is there something more? How much more is there to death? How do we find answers? Do we just have to wait until it's our turn? Are we chosen when death will take us? Is there a set pin point in time to when death comes in our life line? Is it set in stone from birth? How hard is it to just stop breathing? How does life end? How does a person just not be a person anymore? How are they just an empty boDeath? in Philosophical More Like This
PrologueThe earliest memory I have of my mother was her being hauled out by two police officers into the back of their squad car. Her hands were handcuffed behind her back; her hair mangled to the point where it appeared to be dreaded, and a wild look in her eye that represented anger and fear. My face was pressed up against the window to the point where I was staining the glass with my dirty little finger prints, as well as the clear evidence of my face. I was watching in wonder, not yet screaming, I wasn't worried, and probably because I had been evident to this before, but I don't remember the first time the hauled her off. It was this time that had been memorable.Prologue in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
I began to scream when an officer had wrapped his arm around my little torso, and had lifted me up to bring me off to find the next caretaker, the person who would now have to deal with the annoying little brat whose mother had murdered her own father out of chilling blood, half of which, ran through my own body. How could they l
A Walk to the FountainWhen I walk down the halls, I absolutely love the used feel to scene. The papers scattered on the floor towards the end of it. Perhaps someone's locker had spilled; perhaps someone just dropped their stuff and left it there. It's not like they were really going to need those papers anymore anyway. No matter was caused those vibrant orange, yellow, and pink papers to spread across the floor of the hall, giving the "school's-just-out" affect, it didn't concern me, so I just kept walking towards the water fountain.A Walk to the Fountain in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
The hall was really a soiled grey. It almost feels like we go to a slum school where no one gives a shit toward learning; which is probably true. The blue navy lockers just down more on the lack of vibrancy. Even the few colors that are actually in the school make the hallway appear more burdened. The burgundy, mellow yellow and deep blue seem to mesh with the grey and blue lockers to give that "depressed" effect. No one, not even me, notices how sad these hallways appear when
Invisible LinesNo matter how invisible these lines are around me,Invisible Lines in Free Verse More Like This
Boxing me in to a cage,
I keep them up like walls,
Knowing they'll save me in the end,
From all those unhappy faces that stare back at me.
They scream desperately,
And whisper mean words to me.
My walls will mute their voices,
Mute their names.
But in the end, these walls will kill me.
For every minute I keep this box of lines around me up,
I die a little on the inside,
Because every minute I keep this box of lines around me up,
It strays me from taking that final step off the cliff,
To fall in love with you.
Mary-Sue: Part 4In a FightMary-Sue: Part 4 in Reviews & Guides More Like This
From a petty cat fight with slaps and hair pulling, to an action-packed superhero vs. super villain brawl, action scenes can start anywhere; however writing them effectively is harder than planning on who wins. It isn’t just about writing down who hit who, and if you don’t describe how a character handles the situation, you can accidentally make him or her seem stronger or even weaker than they should be. If the character seems too powerful without explanation, your audience will point the finger and label it a Mary-Sue, and you don’t want that (unless you’re purposefully writing a parody). Action scenes, whether it’s important to the overall plot or not, are an effective tool to establish your characters’ strengths and weaknesses—weakness being just as essential to highlight, if not more so, than strengths, but first, you have to know how to write a fight scene in order to know where to insert thes
Mary-Sues: Part 3Mary-Sues: How Much Power is Too Much Power?Mary-Sues: Part 3 in Reviews & Guides More Like This
I’m sure everyone has heard that an obvious Mary-Sue is one that is too powerful, but no one has explained to me in enough detail when the line is crossed. “Oh, an original character can control all four elements? That’s way too powerful!” Since when? Since it became a clichéd idea? That idea was around since before Avatar: The Last Airbender aired on Nickelodeon. Aang, the main character in that show, along with eventually mastering all four elements, also practically came back from the dead a century later in the very first episode of the show, and no one called him a Gary-Stu (which he is not, I’m just saying that labeling a character over power is overused)! As I said in my past two guides, Mary-Sues aren’t about clichés, they’re about lack of explanation and key details that would help in their development of the cha
Mary-Sues: Part 6How to Review Character SheetsMary-Sues: Part 6 in Reviews & Guides More Like This
Everyone has there own way of making character sheets, whether you include them in stories, or just keep them as personal references. Some deem the looks more of a top priority than the skills or hobbies. Most include the “Likes and Dislikes” tab while others forgo it altogether. For describing how to analyze character sheets, I will be using my own personal template as an example.
Character sheets aren’t needed. If you include it, it’s usually the first sign of underdevelopment.
That’s not necessarily true. Lots of people make character sheets whether if it’s as simple as the name, age, and looks, and others make it more complex, but they’re used to help the author keep the facts straight while writing the story. It’s when people post the character sheets online that people make a big deal over it. When people put up the character sheet in th
Mary-Sues: Part 5Writing Realistically . . . According to the UniverseMary-Sues: Part 5 in Reviews & Guides More Like This
I’m sure I’ve told you that you have to be as realistic as possible in order for your character to seem, well, real. Believable. Three dimensional. Someone who can practically pop out of your writing or comic and interact with you. The truth is that was half of an exaggeration. Yes, be real, but only as real as the universe it takes place in is. If the universe is more manga-esque or cartoony where the average female can punch a burly person sky-high, and you create a character who doesn‘t do anything of that sort, or if you as the creator think you can‘t do that, then your character can become quite plain because you‘ll restrict yourself. Basically, be as real, or as loose, as the universe is.
If you’re a person who constantly makes the, “This is totally unrealistic” comment when reading a story, especially in fan ficti
Mary-Sues: Part 1Mary-Sues: Things You Need to Know and What to do if you see ThemMary-Sues: Part 1 in Reviews & Guides More Like This
Mary-sues, Martha-sues, Marty-stus, Larry-Stus and Gary-Stus, we will all come across them at one point. Most of us have heard of them, some have been violently accused of making them via flaming, and others are still naïve to the terms. While people who have been on writing sites for years absolutely loathe them, most are inconsistent with an all-around definition. A majority claim that Mary-Sues are characters that are absolutely perfect in every shape, form and personality, while others just say that they are characters that are just too powerful, unique, or are so clichéd from past characters, and a few say they are self-inserts no matter how well-developed they are. Some on fan fiction sites even say that all Original Characters or Fan Characters (OCs) who are paired with a canon character or just take the spotlight are Mary-Sues. On the other side of the cr
Allison's RPG Rules, 77-100:Things Allison Beriyani is No Longer Allowed to do in an RPG, 77-100:Allison's RPG Rules, 77-100: in Comedy More Like This
77. If we end up doing more damage than the terrorists that attacked at the royal ball, this will cause a penalty on my seduction check.
78. No making a full-body leather gimp suit for the dwarfish cleric, even if he really needs one.
79. I cannot take levels in Creeper.
80. Even though he is not technically undead, Slenderman probably isn't a cleric of Palor.
81. Cursed Items do not make good royal wedding presents, even if the bride really should be mine.
82. Will not suggest Plot to The GM that is worse than what he was already thinking, just because I don't feel like I'm leveling up fast enough.
83. Will not make the party spend more in-game time playing dress-up than in combat.
84. Especially if it's cross-dressing.
85. Will not beat the GM's political game with basic accounting.
86. When I solo a Shuggoth with my Non-Euclidian Vorpal Spoon, the game is over.
87. Anything that shoots projectiles of any sort is n
Allison's RPG Rules, 1-25:Things Allison-Beriyani is no longer allowed to do in an RPG 1-25:Allison's RPG Rules, 1-25: in Comedy More Like This
1. If the GM asks me where an NPC is, the answer better not be "Right now? Mostly in my small intestine."
2. If playing a Cleric, not allowed to consecrate people, places, things or intangible concepts.
3. Not allowed to De-Consecrate them either.
4. No skirting around the GM's "NO DROW" policy by radically altering their emo personalities. As bad as the angst is, Peppy Cheerleaders, Guidos and Sheldon Cooper knockoffs are worse.
5. Not allowed to buy another player's Cursed D20.
6. Or steal it.
7. Or promise sexual favors from other players to him for it.
8. And it is most certainly not a "Star-Crossed Lover" with my Octarine percentile that always rolls in the 90's.
9. While accurate to the species, my Evils campaign Dragon needs a better overall motivation than "SWAG".
10. Not allowed to abuse jousting rules by having the Sprite ride on my head.
11. When told that we're going to be facing a gelatinous cube, I
Allison's RPG Rules, 26-52:Things Allison-Beriyani is No Longer allowed to Do in an RPG, 26-52:Allison's RPG Rules, 26-52: in Comedy More Like This
26. Even though I made them for Candyland, cannot play a Dire Gummi Bear.
27. Actively begging the GM for a Jabberwock (minimum level 26) when the party is still only level 5 because I have a Vorpal Spoon is frowned upon by other players.
28. My halfling shoving orange halves under his shirt will not let him seduce the Gnomish engineers into building something for us. Even if I do make the Bluff check by 30 points.
29. My God is not Duck of Many Things, Htrukkuktrik the Inarticulate, anything from Discworld, Cheesus Rice, Rolap, Persnicket The Oddly Specific, Neil DeGrass Tyson, a random NPC, a random landmark, or another Player.
30. There will be no more Undead Clerics of Palor, even if they do make ideal suicide bombers.
31. My God is not The Bird, and it is not my mission to ask people if they've heard His Word.
32. When facing Priestesses of Lolth, I need more than a can of Raid and a rolled-up newspaper.
Allison's RPG Rules, 53-76:Things Allison-Beriyani is No longer allowed to do in an RPG, 53-76Allison's RPG Rules, 53-76: in Comedy More Like This
53. When my force-using character stumbles across a small green creature in the swamps of dagobah, it's not Kermit.
54. Nor is it Kermit and Ms. Piggy's offspring, even if he does sound EXACTLY like his alleged mother…
55. The wookiee does not get a bonus to his pilot check for hanging his head out the window.
56. Cannot start the game married to Boba Fett even if it's a) canonical and b) I got three sessions in before the GM noticed.
57. Even if it will make it much more difficult for bounty hunters to track us down, I'm expected to spell the name of the ship correctly on the hull. (for Example: Cerulean Eagle is not spelled Surooleian Egoll)
58. I will no longer speculate on the contents of Huttese pornography. My knowledge of Mollusk mating practices is especially unwelcome here.
59. My knowledge if Mollusk mating practices is unwelcome in general.
60. It is generally expected that my dwarf's Axe is the choppi
Allison's RPG Rules, 101-138101. "Mixed Martial Arts and Crafts" is not a real fighting specialty.Allison's RPG Rules, 101-138 in Profiles More Like This
102. A sock-with-half-a-brick is not a substitute for a longsword of any "real" weapon.
103. Neither is a plunger.
104. "Improvised weaponry" does not mean I can use other Player-Characters.
105. NPCs are okay though.
106. If a feat is so broken that I actually drool, I cannot have it.
107. Not allowed to take endorsements from local businesses to support my lavish adventuring lifestyle.
108. The party is not allowed to go on strike.
109. Not allowed to mess with the overlord's evil plan by convincing his minions to unionize.
110. When looting the evil lord's castle in a dubiously legal fashion, it is not necessary to check the bags of gold for exploding Ink packs.
111. It is, however, necessary to check them for regular explosives.
112. Even though there are stats for it, cannot play a T-rex with a jetpack in a classic gaming Universe.
113. I will stop whining about how "Gruagich" is not a playable class.
114. My b
UNBOUND: THE BEGINNING OF THE TALE OF DRAGONBORNUNBOUND: THE BEGINNING OF THE TALE OF THE DRAGONBORNUNBOUND: THE BEGINNING OF THE TALE OF DRAGONBORN in Humor More Like This
She woke up in a bouncing cart with a pounding headache and her hands bound in front of her. She wiggled her wrists against the bonds uselessly, the rope used to bind her was too tightly bound to be unbound by a simple flick of her delicate wrists.
She looked around and saw three men in the wagon with her. She was shocked! How had she gotten here? Who were these men?
The one to her left was very handsome. He was a blond, male Nord. He wore blue armor. "You're finally awake," he said blandly. He said more stuff, but she stopped paying attention to him because really who wanted to hear the opening game dialogue again?
There was another Nord in front of her. He was a brunette and less good looking. Probably because he was dark haired. Everyone knew that the really good looking kids were blonde.
She ignored him too because he was ranting about Stormcloaks and really who had time for that? Besides being ugly, he was dir
Caught in the RainIt hardly ever rained in Windhelm.Caught in the Rain in Romance More Like This
The capital of Eastmarch was too far north for much precipitation. Most of the year the land was covered with snow making growing most vegetables impossible. There were a few plants that thrived in the cold, but not enough for the Hold to survive without imports. Thankfully, there was the lucrative fishing industry to export in exchange for greens from the south.
"There are two seasons in Windhelm, little brother," Galmar used to tell Rolff when they were children, "winter and Summer's Height,"
Rolff Stone-Fist sighed as he remembered that sweet memory from when he and Galmar too young to know better, but old enough to get into plenty of trouble. It must have been at least fifty years ago, long before the Civil War and the Great War.
He missed his big brother. Galmar had always watched out for him, even when he was disgusted with Rolff. There had been years when they had been far apart. Galmar always had his duties to take him away. First, his role as
Dirge, we need to talkVekel was wiping down the counter to the bar to the Ragged Flagon while thinking about how nice it would be to go out to dinner with Tonilia after his shift ended. It had been a while since the two lovers had any time alone, and he thought it would be a good time to try to convince the lovely Redguard to let him make an honest woman out of her. Well, as honest of a woman one could make out of thief.Dirge, we need to talk in Humor More Like This
"The last person that made trouble for Vekel ended up floating in the canal...catch my drift?"
Vekel groaned when he heard the deep voice of his bouncer. There seemed to be only one person the Imperial ever said that to. Vekel looked up from his work and confirmed, to his horror that Dirge was indeed speaking to Meena, the Khajiit Dragonborn. Master of the Shout. Destroyer of Dragons. Thane of half of Skyrim.
And the freaking GUILDMASTER OF THE THIEVES' GUILD.
"Sure thing, buddy," Meena said good-naturedly as she passed the large bodyguard. She punched him on the arm playfully. "You keep do
The Straw That BrokeReyda loved her brother, but there were days she just wanted to strangle him.The Straw That Broke in Drama More Like This
Taking care of Narfi was always a struggle. No one ever told you what it was like taking care of a man-child day in and day out. Most days he could do most of the necessary functions of care for himself like dressing and bathing on his own. In fact, they frequently had good days where they would sing together or take walks by the river. Most of the time, Reyda loved her older brother and was happy that she could be there to take care of him.
Then there were days like today.
She had decided to give the house a huge cleaning. Narfi was never any help for this sort of project, so she had sent him outside to entertain himself while she worked. It had been exhausting hauling the various pieces of furniture around so she could scrub and dust. It had taken buckets upon buckets of water to get the place exactly how she wanted. By the end of the day, her hands were swollen and her back throbbed, but she prided herself
How to Judge a Book by its CoverWhen it comes to the "literature" from the Young Adult section at the library, I think it's gotten to the point that you can indeed judge a book by its cover.How to Judge a Book by its Cover in Reviews & Guides More Like This
Just because something is a book, does not mean that it doesn't make you stupid. Sometimes books can be brain-rotting, even more so than a good old, wholesome cartoon, if I may be so bold.
Today I will show you a guide about how to judge a book by its cover; that way you can conveniently know what books to avoid and which you decide are tolerable.
WARNING!!!!!!!! DO NOT CONFUSE THESE FOR GOOD BOOKS THAT HAVE SOME OF THE SAME TRAITS.
Okay, carry on:
Charlie Jackson is a teenage boy who is off to save the world from an evil foe. He and his best friend: Conveniently-Loyal-Steve, the girl he secretly admires for some unknown reason even though she's a huge jerk: Girls-Have-To-Be-Perfect-And-Tough-Or-Else-It's-Sexist-Jane, set off as an "unlikely" trio on a cliche adventure peppered with mostly sarca
How Not to Write Love InterestsUPDATE: READ THE NEW EXTENSION TO THIS POST. LINK IN DESCRIPTION!How Not to Write Love Interests in Reviews & Guides More Like This
Despite the few who haven't caught on yet and still believe that "kids hate reading," we all know that these days, reading is popular.
"I'm just like Belle from Beauty in the Beast, because I love books," teenage girls are saying, while teens of both genders are sitting down to enjoy things like Percy Jackson, Harry Potter, Hunger Games, Eragon, Lord of the Rings and other more obscure titles.
This is just what we've been hoping for, isn't it? Kids and teens finally taking an interest in literature. It has finally become cool. They're thinking of themselves as rebels or nerds or hipsters, all of which are just new versions of the word cool.
Ah, finally people are spending their time having actual constructive hobbies.
...Or are they?
Here I am going to explore just how this isn't necessarily true; how sometimes your time can be better spent playing a good, mind-building video game or watching a wholesome, creative
The Problems With Stories Written by TeenagersDon't be offended at the title. "Teenagers" is just my way of saying "people who write unprofessional/shallow stories." Not all teenagers write shallow stories, it just sounds catchier.... Anyway.The Problems With Stories Written by Teenagers in Reviews & Guides More Like This
The first thing I want to make clear is: I'm not talking about anything mechanical in this deviation. Grammar/spelling is important (obviously), but that point has been beaten to death by people on the internet already. My purpose, as always, is to talk about the stories themselves, regardless of the way they are communicated. Whether it be through written word or on-the-spot narration, I believe there are certain tricks to telling good stories. Not rules, mind you. Tricks.
I don't believe that telling good stories is about what you "should" do, rather than what you shouldn't. Example: people generally hate Mary Sues, right? Well, sometimes I notice things that are "like" Mary Sues, in the sense that they're equally as shallow/unprofessional ways of telling stories. The purpose of this deviat
Is she Mary Sue? Clarifying Mary SueIs she Mary Sue? in Free Verse More Like This
So, I realize that everyone has heard of Mary Sue characters, but the thing that bothers me is that Mary has never really been as clarified as she could be. Girls go around crying Mary Sue at every character with long pink hair, then go and create even worse Mary Sue characters in the false illusion that they're making nonMary Sue characters (or even anti-Sues) when in fact they're doing the opposite. Allow me to explain how this seems to happen.
First of all the term "Mary Sue" desperately needs to be clarified to these people, so this brings us to the very important question: What IS a Mary Sue?
At least everyone can agree on one thing. Mary Sues are characters that are so perfect it's annoying.
But. What do they mean by perfect? Everyone has different ideas of that, naturally. Unfortunately, this is how many fanfiction (and other) writers make their biggest mistakes.
When you hear the name Mary Sue what pops up in your mind? A be
Adobe Slabs: Segment 2Adobe Slabs: Segment 2 in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
It’s not that M wasn’t hospitable, he just couldn’t quite remember how to be, exactly. College did that to people. It drowned its inhabitants in waves of cheap pens, pointless handouts, printer ink, stacks of essays, junk food, and practically anything else they can think of that would even remotely render one desensitized to matters of the outside world. Or rather, until they no longer recalled what the prospect of socialization was like. For example, it was only a few days ago that he remembered phones could be used for more than texting. He had received the strangest call from a friend of a friend of a friend, or…well, it was something like that.
Details, details. Whatever.
M heard a knock at the front. A meek, unassuming (almost polite) knock that could only belong to the one person of the group he had been expecting to knock. With an unsure glance at the state of his couch, he went
Adobe Slabs: Segment 4Adobe Slabs: Segment 4 in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
And the problem with Ema, was that, well. Um.
“Hey! I heard from your sister that you’re living with a guy now! Where is he?” An all-too-familiar pair of rose-tinted shades and an honorable attempt to resurrect three decade-old clothes (that smelled like they were fresh out of a thrift-store, mixed with cologne and smoke) stood in his doorway on a tall, lithe frame. The guy pushed past M just like any other door and scoped the apartment for another being.
“...Why are you talking to my sister?”
The new visitor took it upon himself to open all the doors in the apartment, even the cupboards. He got to the refrigerator, opened it...
... And pulled out a chocolate milk. He popped the top and took a gulp. “Is he not here?”
Was, well, Ema had a slight problem with gossip.
Though he never thought she’d tell his best friend. He was right in that assumption, right? Shawnjo was h
Adobe Slabs: Segment 3Adobe Slabs: Segment 3 in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
A glass dish clanked against the cold metal sink. M fumbled to catch it. A pause in the conversation led M to believe the others probably stopped to look over at him. That, or because Billy had taken another long swig of beer. M couldn't be sure; he tried to play it off like nothing happened.
Billy exhaled. “She’s at home with my mom. She's been napping around this time every day lately. It works for me so I didn’t wanna break that habit.”
"Oh! That's convenient! A little disappointing though, I was hoping to meet her..."
“Daughter?” M said quietly, thinking it to himself more than anything.
All at once the three guests looked over at M.
"Like... Daughter, daughter?" M asked.
"Um." Billy started.
"She's yours? Like you had her?"
"Yeah, she is. And I didn't, personally--"
“How old are you? How old is she?
The Witch HunterThe Witch Hunter:The Witch Hunter in Free Verse More Like This
The morning is cold with a solemn chill
As the black wagon rolls into town.
The people are silent, like a funeral wake;
Their eyes never leave the ground...
The choked rasp of hindered breathing
Can be heard as he emerges from within.
The priest bearing the book of executions;
It is bound with the blackest strings...
Let evil be destroyed on this lovely day
The priest growls with a twisted grin.
He signals to his companion, who steps out lightly
This man shall purge this town of sin!
The priest then opens the book and waits;
His companion simply gazes into the crowd.
He looks as though he is listening;
And apparently the sound is loud...
With a movement as quick as a bolt of lightning
He reaches and grabs the arm of a boy.
The boy struggles and hisses violently
But the man controls him like a toy...
He places the boy on a special table
Forged and smithed from blessed iron.
The shackles keep the boy in check;
As he thrashes abo
Whispers of the MadWhispers of the Mad:Whispers of the Mad in Free Verse More Like This
Your lips remain painted with the scars of torment
Carved so as to split with every word of speech
The glass that slices through your softened flesh
Bears the marking we know as 'Vinashuka'
And now he lies beneath the falling sand
Drowning in a world that is sinking away
Though his feet will seek the stability of ground
He finds himself caught by 'Vinashuka'
A disturbing word that rings hollow at best
For it carries the tone of a tainted solitude
A heart that has been corrupted by physical pain
Can only scream 'Vinashuka!'
How does a man know when he has gone insane?
To descend into a world where logic is naught
A moon that carries the colour of blood
Shall paint my skin with 'Vinashuka'
I have lost all sense of meaning in this place
There is no where else for my soul to flee
Caught within the whispers of delusory madness
I can only repeat Vinashuka...
-Chen Yuan Wen, 13th July 2012
We Need Villains NOT HeroesFor the longest time I have admired heroes. I imagined them to be people of change, people who would bring the world forward and take us to even greater heights. It was then however, that I realised the 'Human Obstacle'.We Need Villains NOT Heroes in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
Humans as I discovered, perhaps in the most painful of ways, are rather unintelligent beings. They are driven by their core instincts no matter how much they wish to deny it. And the only difference between one and the next is how deeply they let those instincts consume them.
If you walk out into the streets, you can see the well-adjusted average man. Yet in his mind he is not considering the good he could do with his life, he is only thinking about the next step. Where will I go next? Who will I be dating, what shall I enjoy next in life?
There is no thought of altruism; no sense of assistance for another. He could walk down an alleyway filled with the homeless and nothing would change...
If that is the case, then what is the path of truth? Is it doing
Unfinished thingIt's listening to Taylor Swift 'till two A.M.Unfinished thing in Songs & Lyrics More Like This
When you can't seem to sleep 'cause you're thinking of him
And you're asking yourself
Was it worth it in the long run?
And you always seem to be looked down upon
'Cause he left you for a different someone
And the changing of seasons
It only brings more heartbreak
And you're telling yourself to get a grip and just breathe
But because of his absence, you're losing more sleep
And you wonder will this ever get any better?
But there's light in the tunnel beyond
You can reach it, just remain strong
And whisper the words that he never told you
I love you.
Longing for a ParadiseHow awkward it is to sit in a cornerLonging for a Paradise in Free Verse More Like This
Staring at the back of someone's head.
It's funny how I want him to notice me,
To say hello,
To tell me I'm beautiful,
To say that he loves me.
But no, life doesn't work that way
Because there are only two people who have stolen my heart.
One I can't keep on touch with
The other lives across the country.
I suppose if I wanted
I could have someone to hold,
He says he likes me,
I could pretend to feel the same about him,
But it would be fake,
And I don't want the change.
It sucks when you've fallen for your two best friends
And you don't know how to handle it.
I've never been truly in love,
I've just held the hand of a boy
Who didn't deserve what he received.
In a room of cheating lovers,
You can settle with what your given,
Like I do,
Or you can wait ufor the rain to lift
And go outside to find a new paradise.
The WishIt's a wonder that I'm here at allThe Wish in Free Verse More Like This
Because I'm terrified of getting lost
And with every turn I dare to take
That fear grows inside
It sucks truly
Wanting to dance and show the world what I can do
But not brave enough to come out from under the bed covers
Because when the world is screaming that
I'll always be second best to a hockey playing 12 year old
Its just a little difficult to show them anything
And I can't go as far as I want with art alone,
Although drawing is my life and I love to do it
I want to move and dance and travel the world
But I'm a dove with broken wings
I'm stuck dancing in the basement and staring at the posters all over my walls
And drawing the pictures that no one sees
The murals on my walls tell the basic story of my life
But the scars on my body speak volumes.