when feelings grow big enough to have scaryi can recognise youwhen feelings grow big enough to have scary in Free Verse More Like This
by the shape of your back:
the valleys around your spine,
the broad slopes
of pale land,
features like plateaus
and bookended by the hills
of your shoulders.
it is nothing
compared to the feeling
of strength you give
when i am held,
your arms strapped to
those hills like dense rivers,
rapids paced like silver,
catching me in their
the moon looks different
when i try to fall asleep
i feel the stars' breath
as the space in my bed
soon, the breath of summer
will tickle our toes
and sink us near the sea.
i pray each night to my god
that the ship we have made
on an envelopewhy do my d's and l's look like yours when i write your name?on an envelope in Free Verse More Like This
it's just been a little carousel,
spinning in pirouettes,
in my mind all day.
all i know is i'm glad i don't love you.
i don't know why you aren't relationship material-
in all honesty, you are.
i don't know why you treat me like your girlfriend-
kissing my forehead,
holding me gently,
touching me sweetly,
asking to see me,
sixty miles out of the way
in a city i can fall in love,
with no promise of sex-
all i know is i'm glad i don't love you,
& i hope it stays.
an open letter to a rekindled relationshipwe have travelled thousands of miles;an open letter to a rekindled relationship in Free Verse More Like This
we have felt spite and fear for diminished feelings;
we have played this game for far too long.
last night we missed hearing others' poetry
to make our own.
i was not afraid of skin,
and you were not afraid to feel.
we were born with instinct for a reason:
realising what you want is half the battle.
my other half is hesitation-
my other half is you.
i still swell with emotions my therapist
can't help me label
when i remember how you said
you weren't over me.
and how we joined again,
with an interim year,
and a new understanding of emotion
adding to and balancing the physical.
last night i put my skin in your hands;
i gave it with trust.
i left my nerves in my clothes and i shed them,
on the floor,
and spent time with initiation and impulse.
the bruises on my throat a result of passions,
i smile as i shield them from familial eyes.
the weight of a year has opened my bones
and a heart that is ready to
this is less of a love poem and more of athere is something to be saidthis is less of a love poem and more of a in Free Verse More Like This
about resisting the temptation
to start out with a bang.
the hallway of your neck
has never lost its scent
and it's something, i swear,
i swear, i can never forget
because it's something surreal
to wake up while you're asleep
and feel you pull me closer
til our faces almost meet-
hold onto that almost,
hold onto it like stardust.
you need to touch me in a whisper
because it's been too long
since i've felt the hand of someone
who actually meant it,
someone who actually meant something
and i'm so glad, my god,
i'm on my knees
i am praying to(o,) my god
that we won't burn out so quick this time,
i'm too tired to bear new scars
i just want you to love me
but that's not something i could ever ask.
just some time maybe,
i know that no august moon can watch us forever
and keep us warm,
and no constellation can teach me everything
i've ever needed to know.
but everything ugly i ever saw about you
and everything unflattering?
it's gone like the magic we
Let The Wounds Be UndoneLet The Wounds Be Undone in Free Verse More Like This
Let The Wounds Be Undone
I heal to just be healed again...
So many wounds to mend...
My body feels no end...
Without pain there can be no relief
Last resort hope gives birth to belief
I knew there was always something better
I prayed for the days ahead to get brighter
As I lay in ruin
I feel my heart still beating
Pieces of destruction
Can be transformed into pieces of creation
Forgot about yesterday / I only know of today
The light sparks my way / Pushed the darkness away
Life is what I'm fighting for / You can't hurt me anymore
I'm stronger than before / The broken pieces are now whole
I wave my tarnished hands
Over my torn skin
My heart's no longer glass
This is my despair vanishing
I lift up my remains
And let go of the past
It's just another memory
But now here I stand
Tears will become numb!
Scars will be overcome!
Let the wounds be undone!
The Shades Of My EyesThe Shades Of My Eyes in Free Verse More Like This
The Shades Of My Eyes
Treading along a path of healing
Within an aura of rejuvenation
Restore the strongest force of life
Renew these weakening limits of mine
Devotion has no means to an end
There is only hope and strength to be lent
Just like the void called the sky
Even the clouds don't hinder sight
A storm could be brewing
And lightning could be striking
But there is no fear dwelling
Only a calm, tranquil feeling
A rarity itself
An enigma that stands out
A peace that transcends
An energy that ascends
A strong person who is still only human
An outcome of living within the moment
Like a stunning sunrise
Shunning out an ominous evening night
Piercing through that unending blanket of darkness
To see the light of day again, it tells me that I've made it
The sun rays hit and land
And starts to melt the doubt from my hands
The will to endure
The wisdom to acquire
There are no word
A Voice In The WindA Voice In The Wind in Free Verse More Like This
A Voice In The Wind
I can only think of how much I miss you
The fragments of my shell scatter
The smiling dreams of you rupture
On the inside, I know it's wrong
That I still cling onto you as I fail to carry on
I try and search for where my passion belongs
I can only remember how much I loved you
Tribulations welcome singularity
Upon the footholds of my diverse insecurities
I still whisper apologies to try and feel a difference
Because I can't take any more of this sleepless conscience
And I don't know which one of us is the one who is unforgiven
I will always be the arms of the storm
Trying to rebuild what was most dear to me
I don't even have the luxury to mourn
For the person that tried to hold me when I needed to be
Wincing at the random flashes of lightning
They temporarily distract me from our memories
This weakened state of mind isn't worth enduring
The harsh sting of freezing rain-
Sends staggering chills all over
The waves of r
HauntingHaunting in Free Verse More Like This
I am the last ghastly ghost,
glib tongued and glimmering,
in the space beneath the stairs.
My name glows upon your tongue,
gleeful and dreadful
in the dreary dregs of memory -
a keening cacophony
of deadly delights.
You called me here,
made me legion -the languid
languish of laughter,
your new language of the air
and all unearthly promises
pondering their place
in this shallow grave.
Bury me in beauty,
in the bounty of wanton
wonder and I will waste
eternity, a willing wraith to wait
upon your pleasure.
Girl as TragedyGirl as Tragedy in Free Verse More Like This
She decided to be a tragedy
because it was more beautiful
Happiness was a plain thing -
ordinary and drab as corn or
falling asleep in his chair..
But tragedy was elegant - the curves
of her slender body sheathed in trauma
and kid gloves that went up to the elbows.
It was mysterious - black hats with veils
and notes from strange men pressed into her palm
Tragedy looked good on resumes and fit perfectly
on the small white cards placed on her dining table.
Her sisters could slip them into their purses
to remind them later of how she breathed
dignity and grace into the family name.
She could wear it with her grandmother's jet beads
to the ballet, their stark beauty
a reminder of what was lost.
And when her final lover came to call at matins
she could slip it under her lips
and press it as a warm memory -
wet and gliding over his tongue
as she searched for words
among the sheets.
The Suffering I DisavowThe Suffering I Disavow in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
I left my soul back home,
all the way back and on its own...
I left my soul back home,
Leaving my heart as cold as stone.
Here stands my being,
damn near without emotion,
In spite of what I've been seeing,
Am without a decent devotion...
Tears fall from the cracks in that accursed sky,
A rain fallen from ducts on high.
I take the pain unnaturally, by and by.
I recall the moments that had my tongue in a tie,
and still does my beating heart seem to live a lie,
and then I see nothing but stars in that accursed sky.
I can't help but wonder,
if I am acknowledged when I pray,
When I have, this heart beats like thunder,
Yet still does my faith keep my questions at bay.
I can feel the memories burning through,
searing out, the pitiful thoughts to ensue,
the ravaging fear, and sudden fits I never knew.
But my mind is but a prison that reminders bring me to.
Languid I am,
the man of few words here and now...
Still in love, and to my shepard a lamb...
yet still a shell of myself, as th
The Forward MovementThe Forward Movement in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Tragedy, abrupt to my very soul,
that left me far from whole.
The withered memory born unto my dreams again,
refreshed and once more binding me by chain.
The reopening scars I once upon a time, thought healed,
gape wide to open for the flood gates, red and revealed.
My witnessing eyes bleed out old tears from a rusted well,
Attempting again to put back out the fires of this age old Hell.
The rising waters find my feet and climb,
the two floods meet, where their cause is rhymed.
My heart from which the blood and tears flow,
now at where the pain does ever grow.
Close these outpouring wounds, build back up the walls...
Make for my feet, the forward movement from where my future calls.
Once again I will shed my skin,
leaving behind the marks of where I've been.
Don't Leave Me Alone (Manic Depression)I was happy an hour agoDon't Leave Me Alone (Manic Depression) in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
But now I'm not so sure
Alone and looking out the window
I just lost myself
To fifteen minutes of
I can't take it anymore
I can't feel anything but
Always to the extreme
I'm reaching out from the middle
Which extreme will it be?
Something is wrong with me
So please don't leave me alone
With my thoughts of temptation
Of a rising emotion
Multiplied by the second
Just don't leave me alone
Because we knew all along
Just couldn't put a name
To my manic depressive disorder
Not AnymoreYou.Not Anymore in Free Verse More Like This
I love you.
I love you with all my heart and soul.
I love you, but you don't love me.
It used to be us.
The two of us in sync through heart and mind.
It used to be us, loving each other.
Every second of every day I remember you.
I see you in my memories and dreams.
Every second I remember what we used to be, and what we are no longer.
Each day I wake up and for a moment still forget you're gone.
I think about all we did, and how great it felt.
Each day I had been with you was real.
I was wrong to go so fast.
I forgot who I was, and I left you at a time I needed to be near you more than ever.
I was wrong to let you slip through my fingers.
But you're not. Not anymore.
You're gone like a leaf on the wind.
If I hadn't been so stupid maybe you would still be here.
But you'll never be here.
You'll never come back.
You'll never love me again.
How My Business WorksHow My Business Works in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
My business works because it's actually not a business. And by this I mean I hardly make any money with my pictures. For me photography is not a way to make money but to invest money, and I work several other jobs to be able to pay for my art. I'm a tour guide on waste to energy plants and wastewater treatment facilities, I'm a concierge at the house I'm living, I work as a Photoshop instructor and on weekends I take care of the library of the University.
Sometimes people say to me: I can hardly believe you're not making money with your photos because they are better than the work of many professional photographers.
Of course it's flattering when somebody says something like that even if I don't always agree. But here's the thing: the very reason why I'm able to work on this level is because I don't have to make money with my pictures. If you're a photographer who wants to make a living out of it you are forced to do things differently. You have to focus on what your customers like and
ThoughtsI'm so sick of not being perfectThoughts in Free Verse More Like This
I'm sick of hurting people
I'm tired of doing nothing right
I'm tired of holding back
Let me scream
Let me lash out
Let me show you the other side of me
And try telling me you still know me
Everything confined inside
It builds until I almost burst
My eyes grow heavy
My fingers claw at my arms
Tear out my hair
Twitch for the blade
I hold back
But I can only hold so much
Then I do it again
I screw up
And I fall again
Self-loathing is almost a comfort
I often wonder why
Why am I this way
Why am I messed up
Answers won't be found
I'm sick of hating myself
I'm sick of hiding it too
I'm just tired of the pain
I'm tired of taking it out on myself
Let me hide in the dark
Let me face it once again
Only through self-destruction
Can I build the true me
I wish I wasn't this way
I wish I knew how to stop it
But it's there
I only hope you still accept me
I find comfort in one
Who's eyes aren't blind through my self-hatred