For Suicide Awareness day - Don't Give UpThink about meFor Suicide Awareness day - Don't Give Up in Free Verse More Like This
Don't leave me behind
Think about me
Of my own life
If you leave me alone
What do I have to look forward to?
If you leave me alone
Whose going to take care of me like you do?
Think about the promise's
All the late night talks
All the bad close calls
Think about me
And all the consequences if you leave
Think about me
And the promises you made me believe
There is no back door in life
You aren't allowed to exit
Because there is always something to live for beyond this strife
Just wait a little bit
There is a future beyond the darkness
Something to live for after the wars
Find the strength to pass this test
And find a reason to live for
My reason is you
When I promise I tell the truth
So lets bypass this suicide
And find a better state of mind
What if....?What if the love we shared wasn't as deep as we thought?What if....? in Free Verse More Like This
If it were as much as we thought
Wouldn't we be able to stop fighting about this?
Wouldn't we be able to settle our differences?
Don't you think we'd be able to resist?
If our love was as strong as we thought
Wouldn't we be able to find a better reason?
To stay together other than boredom and rejection
Wouldn't I be able to swallow my opinion?
If our love was as strong as we thought
Wouldn't we be able to smile?
Instead of feigning one in denial
If my love was as pure as the purest of springs
Wouldn't I be able to drop everything when you needed?
Wouldn't I be able to be less conceited?
If your love was as strong as the pull of gravity
Wouldn't you be able to love me all the time?
Be able to go smoothly along the ride
If our love was truly true
Wouldn't I always want to be there with you?
Wouldn't I want to listen to your complaints and learn what you knew?
Wouldn't I want to be there when you're happy, and catch you when you're
10. GoneLong gone, Long gone10. Gone in Free Verse More Like This
I knew you were all along
Long gone, Long gone
The pull away too strong
You said you'd never leave
You promised and made me believe
Why couldn't my eyes see
What you were truly
Long gone, Long gone
Gone with the dawn
long gone, Long gone
Down with the sun
Why couldn't I see the lies
See through the disguise
You promised no goodbyes
All the while planning my demise
Long gone, Long gone
I knew you were all wrong
Long gone, Long gone
With our broken love song
Why must you be my sickness
Pulling me to darkness
I feel the hurt in my chest
So full of unrest
Long gone, Long gone
The pull away too strong
Long gone, Long gone
Our lives dead and done
Keep the smile on
As you lower me in the coffin
Where you think I belong
And leave me alone
Long gone, Long gone
I knew it all along
Long gone, Long gone
My last breath finally drawn
Crimson dreamerHaving woken up from a very dark dreamCrimson dreamer in Concrete Poetry More Like This
Full of bad things and remembering
He walks through the halls just in search
Making sure there's no trace of the hurt
There's no blood on his hands from his heart
There's no fire on the wood to start
There's no smoke in the air to destroy lungs
There's no monsters to kill all there young
No, in his dream's it was full of screaming
Everyone was gone or in the process of leaving
Blood covered there clothes and body
And every where he looked was foggy
But now it's just dark and quiet
Everyone's sleeping so it's silent
Where should he go, he wonders?
Not back to bed or under the covers
He can't go to his love
Because then there would be questions, all the above
He would have to lie and say I'm okay
No, nothings wrong with me today
But down deep he knows
That if it ever showed
It might actually come true
And then his life and everyone else's, would be through
Its Just a BlunderThe sky is crackingIts Just a Blunder in Free Verse More Like This
My skull is cracking
My eyes are bleeding
Blood and water
Blood and darkness
Blood and sweat
Fire and flames leaping
Sliding tasting breaking
Knives all glinty
Ready to slit through tender flesh
This life so pointless
This pain so needed
Crying creatures unseen through the veil
Smiling bared teeth that need cleaning
How do you survive through this
Wading through murky water of danger
Crashing ahead without a clue
Intense and systematic
Unclear like an animal
Who knows what they mean
Who cares as long as they don't freak
Black inky mist
Choking on the things of myth
Choking on imagination
Drowning in the blackened water
Who knows how this could happen
How it could work out
But it did, for them
Get ready and hold your breath
Drop, drop, drop
Down to nothingness
Let your grip slip
Broken MirrorsDo I have to find your sickness?Broken Mirrors in Free Verse More Like This
Dig it out with a blade of glass?
Do I have to find your broken pieces?
Dig them out of the trash?
Do I have to hold your hand at night?
Tuck you into bed alone?
Do I have to tuck a blade in tight?
Just to make you feel at home?
Will we drag on like a ghost?
Looking for a place to fit?
Will we terry looking for a host?
Wading through this mindless shit?
Grab a hold of my hand, let me lead you out
Grab a hold of my cold dead hand, promising not to leak a shout
Grab a hold of the bathroom sink and look up into your face
Grab a hold of yourself dear, we share a life and the same fate
The Painful LegacyThey are just...The Painful Legacy in Free Verse More Like This
Words that I type...
Type out and erase
Over and over
Again and again...
Sometimes they feel like my very life...
I feel like..
I've poured my whole existence into those words.
I couldn't make them any deeper...
Unless I carved them into my own flesh...
Like they are connected to me..
Deeper than blood...
They mean more than the blood I would lose...
Like I can't do anything more than to,
leave those words behind.
The only thing people would remember?
Could they feel what I felt then?
Through the words written in my own blood?
Own life and loss?
Maybe tears would mix with them?
Is that silly..
To think about?
I just want to...
leave a legacy,
But all I can leave are bloody words.
You and TrueThe difference between you and trueYou and True in Free Verse More Like This
True friends don't let things go unnoticed
Yet, it seems like you missed it
True friends don't let you slip away
Yet, it doesn't seem like you want me to stay
The difference between you and true
You use me and guilt me
You smile and fake it pretty good
You do things you don't think I see
But you haven't been where I've stood
The difference between you and true
Is that it doesn't matter what I say
As long as its what you want
You don't care about my day
Accept when you need a front
The difference between you and me
Is really only,
That I can see what I'm doing
And you simply won't leave me be
How lovely, our hypocritical humanity
Truth in agonyThere's something I need to tell youTruth in agony in Free Verse More Like This
Something that hurts me inside and aches on the out
Something that you need to know
But I can't just shout
I want to tell you so very much
I need to but when I get around you
I just can't seem to dampen your spirit
Or make you blue
I want you to always know I love you
Even if I seem to be broken
Even If my words don't seem as true
Just ignore the blood as a token
Just forget the blood you see
It'll wash away
Just forget the cry of my melody
Only listen to what I say
It'll all be okay
I'll get the courage to tell you soon
Maybe some day
Maybe before our doom
97. MomentHalf tempted97. Moment in Free Verse More Like This
Tempted to unmask the truth
Tempted to disappear
Fade into the back
Drown out the noise
To not think and just waste away
Half tempted to deteriorate
On the lonely walk
Peaceful with the knowledge
Letting the melody bring me closer
And pull me back
Like the tide of a full moon
Truth is I can't breathe
I can't feel my fingers
Or the heat of life
It all hurts
So I'm always
Observers- BBC Sherlock x Reader Chpt. 44The next day, you went back to work intending to make it up to Annie by working the entire day without pay, and found that, as usual, Mycroft came in and sat in your section. You could feel him looking you over as you moved to finish serving a couple of other patrons before coming over to greet him, “Bonjour, Monsieur Holmes. How may I help you today?”Observers- BBC Sherlock x Reader Chpt. 44 in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
He gave you a soft smile, “Just tea for me today (F/n)… You know you can drop the formalities.”
You gave him a wide grin, placing a hand on his shoulder, “Of course Mycroft. I just enjoy greeting you that way so very much. I’ll be right back.”
He chuckled softly, watching you skip away to get what he’d requested of you. You got someone to cover the rest of your section before returning to sit down across from him as he noted, “You look nice today. I see you’ve been shopping.”
You blushed lightly with a nod, “John insisted I get a work outfit that fit me proper
Observers- BBC Sherlock x Reader Chpt. 57The next few days involved lots of running around and Sherlock pacing or thinking while you and John unsuccessfully tried to convince him to eat and sleep. It got to the point that you and John left him to work on his own out of both frustration and exhaustion- John going out with Sarah or holing up in his room, you escaping to your flat to paint or catch up on some reading, and both of you visiting Mrs. Hudson.Observers- BBC Sherlock x Reader Chpt. 57 in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Today was a relatively quiet one. Sherlock was sitting in the middle of the couch cross-legged with his hands folded over his lips as if in prayer, the case papers spread out on the coffee table in front of him, John was in his chair with a mug of coffee and his laptop, and you were in Sherlock’s chair with your back against the seat and your legs draped over the back of it, your head hanging upside down over the edge as you stared off into space. That was how all three of you remained for hours until Sherlock stirred and came out of his thoughts, needing a couple o
Observers- BBC Sherlock x Reader Chpt. 41You let Sherlock take the envelope as John pulled you into his arms comfortingly, feeling yourself beginning to go numb from everything that had happened while Sherlock’s eyes scanned the letter. Lestrade burst through the door and the consulting detective waved a hand at him before he could say anything, “Other room. Get him out of my sight before he ‘falls’ again.”Observers- BBC Sherlock x Reader Chpt. 41 in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
The man didn’t question it, going to remove your attacker with a sigh, and Sherlock pursed his lips at the note. He couldn’t make any sense of it, it seemed to just be a regular letter with the occasional drawing, but he knew there had to be something to it, turning to offer it to you, “(F/n)… What do you see?”
You took it from him, quickly reading it over, before softly breathing, “It’s a confession…
Pulling away from John’s arms, you continued in a hoarse yet firm voice, “If you pair the second-to-last sentence before each break t
Observers- BBC Sherlock x Reader Chpt. 31You were pretty much asleep on your feet by the time the two of you got back to the flat and let Sherlock pull you up the front steps but not all the way up to his flat, digging your heels in at the still open door to your own flat, “If you want tea it’s here you're going to get it. I don’t want to fall asleep upstairs.”Observers- BBC Sherlock x Reader Chpt. 31 in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
You shrugged off his coat and after hanging it near the door you picked yours up off the floor and did the same with it. He plopped down on your couch and you set the kettle to boil, leaning over to rest your head on the counter while you waited. When the kettle whistled and you didn’t respond to it, Sherlock got up to go to the kitchen, finding you fast asleep standing next to the counter in what looked to be the most uncomfortable position of the century.
He took the kettle off and gently ran a hand down your back as he purred, “(F/n), you can’t sleep here.”
You mumbled, still pretty much asleep, “Like hell I can&
Observers- BBC Sherlock x Reader Chpt. 42You passed out on your couch within minutes of getting home, pausing only to pull off your shoes and your white button down so you were left in a tight white tank top and your black trousers that were two sizes too big. Upstairs, John refused to speak to Sherlock, worried that he would start yelling and end up waking you, and quickly went to bed himself, leaving Sherlock to flop down on the couch to think, he could sleep later.Observers- BBC Sherlock x Reader Chpt. 42 in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
He certainly had a lot to think about with everything that had happened so he started with the most trivial, the fact that Moriarty’s name had come up. This wouldn't be the first time it had but since the pool incident his presence had been suspiciously lacking. Still, it wasn’t surprising that he’d been behind the stolen Monet, though it was unfortunate that his pawn had been connected to you.
That brought him to his next problem on his list- your friend. There was no way Timothy could have survived after that much blood loss- a fact tha
Observers- BBC Sherlock x Reader Chpt. 56It took a considerable amount of will power for you not to touch anything and everything when the three of you arrived at the crime scene, the backstage of a West End theater. There were costumes, props and sets everywhere and you were quick to fall into your curious observation mode, slowing your pace considerably to take it all in. You were just about to wander off towards a very interesting looking dress covered with sequins on a rack across the way when Sherlock sharply stated, “Hand.”Observers- BBC Sherlock x Reader Chpt. 56 in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
You froze and blinked at him in confusion, “What?”
“Give me your hand,” he demanded impatiently and you pursed your lips at him, “Why should I?”
He rolled his eyes and grabbed your hand before you could pull away, John looking on in interested amusement, “Because I can’t have you wandering off like I know you were just about to. Now come on.”
Dragging your feet so that he had to tug you the rest of the way to your destination, you whin
Observers- BBC Sherlock x Reader Chpt. 38After three days of you working while Sherlock and John were on the case, you found you missed seeing them everyday but that it was nice to be able to support yourself again. Sherlock was angry with you for refusing to come, you knew that since he was acting like a child and the only communication you had with them was the occasional text from your brother, but you didn’t have time to think about it.Observers- BBC Sherlock x Reader Chpt. 38 in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
As the rookie you’d gotten stuck with the morning shift and had to be at work before four thirty, your habit of getting up early working to your advantage for once, and today was no exception. It was a relatively nice day and you had just finished dealing with the morning rush, relaxing into the lull that always followed, when a familiar face walked through the door and settled into an armchair in your section.
You tilted your head before heading over to greet him, “Bonjour, Monsieur Holmes. How may I help you today?”
Mycroft looked up at you, lightly licking his lo
Observers- BBC Sherlock x Reader Chpt. 30Sherlock knelt in front of you after sending Lestrade to get you water, keeping his voice low and soft, “(F/n)…”Observers- BBC Sherlock x Reader Chpt. 30 in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
You looked up at him, your breathing painfully short, and he calmly locked his eyes with yours, “I need you to take some deep breaths (F/n).”
Nodding, you attempted to take a deeper breath and ended up hiccuping, frustrated tears escaping down your cheeks. He pursed his lips worriedly and reached to wipe them away but you pulled back from him shaking your head violently. He looked hurt and, immediately regretting you actions, you quickly reassured him, reaching to take his hand. He wove his fingers between yours and sandwiched your hand between both of his, “You need to breathe (F/n).”
You gave him a look that said you were trying and he felt lost. He didn’t know what he should do, logically he should be getting you to slow your breathing as he was sure you would soon pass out if you didn’t but nothing he was doing was h
Observers- BBC Sherlock x Reader Chpt. 21Lestrade seemed surprised when the two of you walked through his door, “Where’s your usual Watson, Sherlock? And why is this one covered in paint?”Observers- BBC Sherlock x Reader Chpt. 21 in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
You let out an exasperated sigh as Sherlock offered a short explanation, “John’s out boring some girl on a pointless date and (F/n) is a painter by profession.”
“It’s more of a hobby,” you corrected, causing Sherlock give you a surprised look, before adding, “He all but dragged me out of my flat, I didn’t have a chance to clean up properly.”
“I would say it's much more than a hobby.” Sherlock countered, cutting off whatever Lestrade had been about to say as he examined you carefully for anything he may have missed that would have caused you to answer that way.
“Do we really have to discuss this now Sherlock?” you sighed, shooting Lestrade an apologetic look.
“We do. Lestrade can wait” “Hey!” “Why
Observers- BBC Sherlock x Reader Chpt. 35By the time John got back you had coaxed Sherlock out to the couch, where he was laying face down in his dressing gown and pajamas with one arm and one leg hanging off the edge. He could hear you humming softly in the kitchen and went to see what you were up to, finding you swaying to your tune as you stirred a pot. From the sweet smell he knew exactly what you were making and went to the fridge as he thrummed, “Mum’s sore throat remedy… Do we have milk?”Observers- BBC Sherlock x Reader Chpt. 35 in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
“We do but-“
He pulled the door open before you could warn him and let out a yelp, slamming it shut and then dragging a hand down his face, “There are eyeballs in the fridge. Wh-actually you know what I don’t even want to know.”
You rolled your eyes, moving to get the milk, “You stir. The eyes don’t bother me.”
A hoarse call came from the other room, “I’ll know if you’ve touched them, (F/n)”
“I wouldn’t even dream of doing so S
Repairing the Damage Chapter ThreeYou're dreaming again.Repairing the Damage Chapter Three in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
It's hard to understand just what it is you dream of. There are fragments of scenes, things that almost seem to be recollections. A strange language, one you can almost make out it's full of growls of clicks and noises you know your throat can make.
There's a planet. One with a red-ish sky and moons of green and purple. Trolls live on this planet, trolls like you. Only these trolls are free. Humans don't even seem to exist. You know this is a dream, something so perfect can only exist in your mind.
The scene shifts, your mind blanks for a second, two, then it's bright. So bright. Quickly your eyes adjust to the cruel light and the surrounding area becomes clear. Black and white checkerboard ground stretches out over the rolling hills and strange mountains of this new world. There are trees and rivers and a soft breeze.
Where is it coming from? It seems so familiar?
Your eyes strain against the light in sky and you see so
I'm Really Embarrassed to Post This Fic--centaursTesticle [CT] began trolling gardenGnostic [GG] at 10:00--I'm Really Embarrassed to Post This Fic in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
CT: D--> Greetings
CT: D--> I see that you have b100d worthy of this conversation.
CT: D--> Your text. It is green, is that not a middle color to your species
GG: youre weird!!
GG: my blood is red!
CT: D--> Oh my
GG: what is it??
CT: D--> I cannot believe i am conversing with a mutant such as yourself
CT: D--> Did the culling drones miss you
CT: D--> I'm going to pretend you did not mention that, and that you said your b100d was in fact green
CT: D--> While not a particularly noble or STRONG color, it will suffice
GG: excuse me, but have we met before
CT: D--> Neighgative
CT: D--> What is it
GG: shhhhhhhh im thinking!!!!!
CT: D--> May i inquire what you are thinking about
CT: D--> Oh my
CT: D--> I may require a towel
GG: i said SHHHHHHH
CT: D--> Ah, yes
GG: i was thinking about whether i should block you or not!
CT: D--> What was your
30 Minute Fic: The Blue Jay and the CrowThere was the usual hustle and bustle of the market place all around him. People were moving and talking and trading, everything was so full of life. John Egbert couldn't believe his eyes. He was intrigued by the large city. Since he came from a tiny town on the outskirts of the kingdom; anything bigger than a small village was a wow factor. He weaved in and out of the crowd taking in all the sights and sounds. This was the first time he'd been to a bigger town. Everything was so exciting.30 Minute Fic: The Blue Jay and the Crow in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
He was a little hot underneath the large coat he was wearing, but it was worth it to see this. John loved people; he loved everything about being around people. It was all so much fun, he could hardly stand it. Eventually he ended up buying an apple and moving away from the market place to the center of the town near a water fountain. He rested by the fountain, enjoying the cool breeze and spray from the water.
The people passed by, not even noticing his existence. Which was great, he loved just bein
Untitled HSO WorkCG: HEY.Untitled HSO Work in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
CG: FOR FUCKS SAKE SOMEONE SAY SOMETHING.
CG: IS ANYONE OUT THERE?
CG: PLEASE JUST SAY ONE GODDAMN WORD.
Your name is Karkat Vantas and you're the epitome of fuck ups. The best of the best and, you know what they say; it's lonely at the top. It's also pretty lonely on a frozen rock that's hurtling through space and time.
You're almost certain you made the correct choice though; there is nothing in your mind that bothers to correct you. Worthless, that's what you are. Worthless and dangerous. If it hadn't been for you all your friends would be alive. If you hadn't been born you wouldn't have doomed an entire universe to death. By stepping away from your friends, comrades, lover, you saved them from yourself. This strain of cancer dies with you.
There's a lot of time to think. Too much time. Why is there so much time? Along with time there is a lot of nothingness. Outside, the small remnant of the veil traveled throu
Captchalogued Memories Part 3"So, Dave, can I ask, how exactly did you make John?" Karkat was genuinely curious.Captchalogued Memories Part 3 in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
"There is a lot about Ja-John that is different."
"Heh heh, Dave you can call me Jay if you want, you have gotten rather attached to the name."
"If you want, I can explain some of it to you Vantas. Follow me; it might be beneficial to you in the end." The two got up and followed Dave downstairs. "When we played the game I took note of all the different types of machines, and what each one did. Jay is a complex product " He paused, "I'm sorry, Jay, I'm going to refer to you like a thing for a moment."
"Now, I made him using both Captchalogue technologies as well ectobiology. I was able to pinpoint places on his timeline, and using all those different parts of John assemble him into something that could be replicated and stored on a Captchalogue Card. It took forever to get it right, and even then, I was unsure if he'd be able to talk, or walk, let alone remember."
Unnamed Novel IntroBreath, it's the one single thing that connects all living organisms together. From every shaky first gasp, to the long drinks of air after running, we all breathe. Even the trees respire. All life needs to breathe; it's a function so primeval that it's built into our brains, our instincts. Unfortunately the ability to breathe is no longer a right, but a privilege. A privilege of those who can afford it.Unnamed Novel Intro in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Welcome to Earth.
It is nothing like you know.
There was no asshole that started an apocalypse, or messed with vile chemicals. There was no global warming, or terrorist threat. The planet did not shift or veer closer to the sun. It just happened. Simple as that. Air became a luxury, oxygen a precious resource. There just isn't enough and no viable way to produce it. Other gases began leaking into sky, mixing and making it less than pure. It stings and burns when inhaled. Slowly it poisons the body and mind.
Animals started dying. First the small mammals, then birds, soon larger beasts
Wings of a Worthless God Chapter FourJohn managed to drag Karkat back up the hill and into the small cave they turned into a makeshift shelter. He deposited his Matesprit on the small pile of blankets they had and looked over him worriedly. "Thank god," He exhaled the breath he had been holding when he saw Karkat's chest moving slowly up and down. The fire was dimming, barely crackling. John took off his jacket and shirt and threw them over Karkat. He knew it wasn't a lot, but it was better than nothing. Hurriedly he built back up the fire and left to search for rocks. There was a survival show he saw once that recommended heating rocks up and burying them in the sand to keep the body warm while sleeping.Wings of a Worthless God Chapter Four in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
The wind was strikingly cold against his bare skin. "Leaving my jacket with Karkat probably wasn't the best idea " John hiked through the snow; he mustered up the energy to combat the wind with his own, eventually being able to nullify the gusts around him. There was nothing to be found around the entrance of the ca
JohnKarkat: Make a WishThis is it. This is the night you make it happen.JohnKarkat: Make a Wish in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Your name is John Egbert and it is November 11, 2011, and today you will make your wish.
It's been three long years since you beat the game of Sburb. It didn't matter that you cheated the system, merged sessions, or any of that green sun stuff that Rose understood more than you. None of that mattered. You had made a new planet, and it was amazing, but there was one thing missing. You were surrounded by all your friends, yet something was still off, they didn't understand. There is a hole, a hole that they can't fill.
Lots of stuff happened during the game; events happened that you couldn't stop, and that you can't change, even with Dave's time powers. Lots of people died. Lots of people cried. The first year was tough, after the excitement of a new planet wore off; you had a lot of time to yourself, and a lot of time to think. Too much time to think. For a while you holed up in your house, refusing to talk to anybody. Lucky for you
Lying Is In Your BloodNightmares are supposed to be filled with the screaming of the soon to be dead. Rainbow blood is supposed to flash across your eyes. You're supposed to see the dead bodies of alien races you don't know. The songs of the victorious, in broken Alternian rise above the wails of the doomed. Propaganda like this was supposed to prepare you for a life of hostilely taking over cultures and killing off millions of other species that couldn't match Alternians in power.Lying Is In Your Blood in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
But this this wasn't right. The screams you heard, the blood curdling shrieking wasn't coming from a stranger, it was coming from you. The panic didn't belong to an alien fighting for its life; the terror filled golden eyes were yours. What was wrong? Why were you dreaming of this instead of the usual horrors? This wasn't supposed to happen. Why are you running jackass? What the fuck could be so terrifying? You're a troll damn it! An Alternian Troll! The strongest race in the galaxy, why are you running?
Stop it! Fucking sto
Worth the Kill? Chapter FiveThe forest was still as the hunters moved silently through the underbrush. Everyone was alert as the small group of four moved through the inky darkness. "Grandpa, I can't tell " A young women whispered to an older man.Worth the Kill? Chapter Five in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
"Can't tell what dear?"
"I can't tell if we're hunting them, or we're being hunted," the girl replied. Her tone was serious and her grandfather didn't doubt a word she said.
"Just keep moving, we'll get them, don't worry," her grandfather reassured her. "Remember, they're smart, but in the end they are animals just the same." She nodded and flipped the safety off her rifle.
The small group of hunters resumed being quiet. It seemed that every bush could hide a troll, and every blind spot was an ambush waiting to happen. Unknown to most of them, they were actually being hunted. Silently trailing the humans was a small band of trolls. Their leader was a big troll with huge bull horns.
"Jake," He whispered, "Come up here."
A smaller troll moved to the older one's side.
I'm Fine"Are you okay?"I'm Fine in Free Verse More Like This
No. I'm dying. I have to push myself to wake up in the morning, and when I finally do, I want to go back to sleep. Even my best dreams are becoming nightmares. I can't taste food, I can't stand the things I used to love. I'm breaking. I'm fading. I'm dying.
Lying is Bad (A message to myself)Hello darling.Lying is Bad (A message to myself) in Free Verse More Like This
Have you ever held a needle to your wrist?
Have you ever skipped a meal because you were hungry?
Have you ever punched your stomach before falling asleep?
Have you ever felt wrong, because you told someone you were okay? (After all, lying is bad.)
Have you ever rocked back and forth without realizing, until someone else told you to stop?
Have you ever slammed your head against your wall so you might forget your situation?
Have you ever cried in a thunderstorm so no one would hear your cries for help?
Have you ever worn long sleeves and said it was because you were chilly... then felt horrible? (After all, lying is bad.)
Hello darling, I know you have.
But remember, you're strong. You're worthy.
You're more powerful than your sadness.
You are incredible.
You have been through more than you know,
And fought through more than you know...
And you've survived much more than you know.
You are going to make it.
You are going to push through this.
You are going to
When I'm GoneI don’t want you to remember me.When I'm Gone in Free Verse More Like This
I don’t want you to think of me.
I don’t want you to hurt over me.
I don’t want you to dream of me.
I don’t want you to cry for me.
I don’t want you to miss me.
I don’t want you to love me.
I don’t want you
I'll Just Say What's On My Mind...I’ll just say what’s on my mindI'll Just Say What's On My Mind... in Free Verse More Like This
For everyone to hate.
I used to cry myself to sleep
And slice my skin with blades.
I wrapped a belt around my neck
In hopes of lifelessness,
And after failing even that,
I remained emotionless.
My mother used to cry all day
And my dad used to be ill.
My sister attempted suicide
By swallowing the pill.
My mother tried to kill herself
And we almost watched her fall.
She swallowed gulps of whiskey
And she blamed me for it all.
I have hallucinations,
And delusions, and depression
And fighting my own demons
Has become a slight obsession.
I’ll just say what’s on my mind
For everyone to see.
This is who I am, and hey!
I’m still okay with me.
Can't you hear the voices?Can't you hear the voices? in Free Verse More Like This
Can't you hear the voices?
As they ring inside my head
Can't you see the faces?
Painted in the blood so red
Can't you taste the poison?
As it rests upon your tongue
Can't you hear the voices?
Then you do not belong.
In my head...In my head,In my head... in Free Verse More Like This
The birds that fly above me
Are the dragons of my kingdom.
In my head,
Cats and dogs are lions and wolves,
And my fish is a sea monster.
In my head,
My pen is a sword,
And I’m fighting witches and evil men
To find my prince charming.
In my head,
Butterflies spin through the air
And fly through my bedroom windows
To whisper things in a language
That only I understand.
In my head,
There is a world other than
These black and white dreams
And these faded grey skies.
In my head,
There is a universe.
Can’t you see it, too?
All Her Little ThingsStop hating her for the littlest things.All Her Little Things in Free Verse More Like This
The things she can't prevent,
The things she can't save herself from..
Stop demanding her to do things,
Things she can't accomplish,
Things she can't imagine being done...
Stop lying to her,
Telling her you love her,
Want her, need her...
When all you've ever done is make her want to
Stop hating her for the littlest things.
The things she can't prevent,
The things she can't save herself from...
When those little things you've done
Take her down...
The little things won't matter anymore.
Stronger than SuicideYou are so much stronger than suicide.Stronger than Suicide in Free Verse More Like This
You are so much more powerful than the cuts on your arm,
And so much better than your eating disorder.
So much more than your scars.
Please look me in the eyes,
And show me your wounds,
Whether they be on your forearm,
Or your heart.
Have you been skipping meals?
Have you been cutting?
Well, here’s something for you to try.
Think one thing,
Just one thing,
Just remember to prove to the world,
Are stronger than
Don't be scared, darling.We're going to try something newDon't be scared, darling. in Free Verse More Like This
Eating our meals, and swallowing each bite,
Not hiding the chewed up remains under our tongue,
And not making ourselves vomit through the night.
We're going to try something new,
Bringing the liquor down from our lips,
Not turning to the alcohol for comfort,
Until the addiction rips.
We're going to try something new,
Throwing away the needles, the pins, and the blades
Not searching underneath our skin for emotion,
Watching the wounds and the scars fade.
We're going to try something new,
Darling, I challenge you, I dare you.
We're going to try something new...
Why does that scare you?
Think of This..You want to end it?Think of This.. in Free Verse More Like This
Think of this.
You write your suicide note... And you set it on the table.
You take your razor, your silver, two inch razor. And you start to slide it across your wrist. You barely feel a thing. After all, the pain of life is more than the pain of the blade.
And you take that belt you never wore, the one that was too tight, the one you starved yourself to fit into. And you wrap it once, twice around your neck... and you pull it tight.
Barely breathing, you put the ends of the belt on something to hold you up.
Something to strangle you.
Something to kill you.
And you die.
And that's the end, right?
So, so wrong.
Your younger brother, the four year old little boy that you loved so much. He walks into your room, only to find you hanging there, lifelessly. Only to find you with dried tears on your pale face. Only to find your suicide note... the one you left right before you died.
And so he runs in tears to your mother. And she reads the note, barely able to brea
Elle and Mias: Chapter 25"I'm so sorry please forgive me I'm so sorry " Abernos repeated over and over as he drove himself through the thick brush and out onto an animal path. Elle's scream from her broken wrist nearly caused him to stumble from the weight it put in his chest, but he knew there was nothing he could do at this point other than to locate Mias.Elle and Mias: Chapter 25 in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
He wasn't far from reaching the rescue party. Beyond a few groves of trees, the gang of one sorcerer, one stag, one ghoul and two horses crouched along the thicket lining as they drew nearer Elias' camp.
"I smell someone approaching," Leadbury announced.
Mias and Berenos directed their attention to where Leadbury indicated and readied themselves for an attack.
Abernos emerged from the brush and tears came to his eyes at the sight of his brother. "B-Berenos !"
Berenos rushed to his brother's side without speaking a single word. He caught him in his arms as Abernos finally allowed himself to break down.
"He still has her! Elias ! W
Elle and Mias: Chapter 22"What is taking that woman?" Mias wondered out loud as he approached the window in the parlor and looked out over his property.Elle and Mias: Chapter 22 in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Abernos, who had finally removed his panties from his antlers and put them on to cover himself, was hungrily devouring a plate of food the housekeeping spell had just delivered. He glanced over at Mias, chewing his mouthful of food loudly, "Maybe she's bonding with the horses?"
Mias was skeptical about that possibility. A sense of dread was beginning to squeeze his chest, but what perplexed him was the lack of reason behind the sensation. His senses didn't perceive anything unusual nor had anything crossed into the magical field that surrounded the perimeter of his land, but still the weight over his heart only grew heavier the longer Elle made him wait for her return.
"If you're so worried, why don't you go check on her?" Abernos asked.
Because Elle would surely complain about him being paranoid she would run off again, Mias thought. He wanted to stray away f
Elle and Mias: Chapter 11The halls of Mias' manor glistened as rays of sunlight shown in through the windows. The trail of blood that lead up to his room and been scrubbed away, including the stains on the carpet as well. Everyone's dirty clothes had been picked up from the floor, washed, and each placed near their respective owners, excluding Mias because Elle and the stag brothers both felt they had all done enough for the evening.Elle and Mias: Chapter 11 in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Abernos and Elle were curled up in an arm chair together near Mias' bedside. Elle had changed into a light blue nightgown she found at the bottom of her trunk after the two had washed up. They tried to take shifts monitoring Mias, but sleep proved too tempting to resist, especially when the two found the other very comfortable to rest against.
Elle groaned slightly and yawned before she opened her eyes. Abernos was still fast asleep and snoring lightly, with his arms wrapped snugly around her waist. Elle smiled and kissed his cheek, causing the young stag to smile in his sleep and
Elle and Mias: Chapter 29An aura of intense emotion hung over Mias' manor when Abernos and Berenos arrived. The sorcerer had sequestered himself in the library for the time being with strict orders not to bother him. No one had the nerve to argue with him.Elle and Mias: Chapter 29 in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
"Great lord of the forest all his brothers ?" Abernos shook his head in disbelief as Elle and Leadbury briefed them on the most recent development.
"You're sure Elias did it?" Berenos asked.
"I don't know," Elle said quietly. "But Mias looked like he'd been run through himself No one but Elias would do such a thing "
"But But why?!" Abernos asked, on the verge of tears himself. The Stag's ability to empathize was proof of his good heart.
"It's not unheard of in the Dormaeus Family," Berenos said solemnly. "For generations, it's how they've settled inheritance and other disputes."
"It's senseless bloodshed Even if they are Dormaeus " Abernos sniffled. "I never heard anything about the 8 younger brothers, but the fa
Elle and Mias: Chapter 2Hours passed. The stars faded into the sky quietly, allowing the first rays of the dawn sun to creep over the hills. Birds began their morning song and fluttered through the gardens below Elle's open window.Elle and Mias: Chapter 2 in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
The honey blond lay awake in bed, her eyes staring dully at the canopy. Sleep had come and gone numerous times, teasing her tired mind and body. She felt heavy as she lay listening to the awakening day, her clothes clinging to her form due to perspiration. She longed for a bath and a change of underwear, but did not yet have the strength to get up to seek them. Languidly, she raised a hand up over her eyes and sighed. She realized she was hungry as well.
Knowing she wouldn't be able to sleep on an empty stomach, she forced herself upright and slowly slid her legs off the side of the bed. She pushed herself to her feet and decided to investigate the contents of the wardrobe. Elle opened the door and had her eyes awakened by bright, richly colored dresses in materials of both silk an
Elle and Mias: Chapter 3The clear morning transitioned into a cloudy grey afternoon with a chill wind that held a distant promise of rain. Elle sat in a chair looking out the window, her thoughts focused on just how she should make her escape. While it would be in her advantage to wait until nightfall, she didn't know these lands and not being able to see properly would surely get her lost.Elle and Mias: Chapter 3 in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Instead, she'd wait until it started raining so any tracks she made would be washed away. She'd repel down the side of the building using the bed sheets tied together and then run as fast as she could away from this place. Not an entirely complicated plan, but simplicity often proved to be far more useful. Now all Elle needed was nature's cooperation.
"Elle," she heard from outside her door before it opened and Mias leaned his head in. "Might you be interested in a tour of my lovely abode?"
"Come now, staring out a window for hours on end is hardly entertaining." He strode into the room and approached her side. "Avoi
Elle and Mias: Chapter 4Elle awoke the next morning pleasantly refreshed. Though her lungs still stung from breathing heavily in the cold air, it was the price of freedom and it was worth every raspy breath. She sat up and yawned, stretching her arms up the quilts fell from her body and it was then Elle realized she was naked. Well, she still had her underwear on, but other than that she was bare skinned.Elle and Mias: Chapter 4 in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
She heard the light clinking of china and slowly turned her head to see Abernos standing with a tray of food and tea. His eyes were wide and his mouth was slightly agape with a tomato red blush on his cheeks.
"EEK!" Elle shrieked and pulled the covers back up over her body.
Abernos cried out too and quickly turned himself around. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to stare!"
"W-Where are my clothes?" Elle blushed.
"Th-They were soaked so we took them off and hung them up to dry near the fire. They should be dry by now." Abernos set the tray down and crab walked over to the fireplace in the corner of the small room. O
Elle and Mias: Chapter 26Elle panted heavily as she ran. She knew Elias would pursue her, though she felt she now had the advantage being a small mouse in the dense underbrush. He'd have difficulty recapturing her, or so she thought. She was unaware of Elias' transformation and how he now trailed her in the form of a black viper.Elle and Mias: Chapter 26 in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
She hopped over a fallen tree and burrowed herself under the trunk to catch her breath.
"Here mousy, mousy~" she heard Elias' call rather smoothly as slid along the ground, flicking his tongue in and out. "I can smell you~"
Elle held her paws over her mouth to keep herself quiet and prayed Elias was bluffing.
"If you come out I'll make it worth your while. You're from another world, aren't you? Well, I may not be as talented as my brother, but I could arrange to open the portal and send you home. Just help me kill Mathias!"
"What happened to wanting to do me in all by your own hand?" Mias' voice broke the tension in the air as he appeared from the tree line with Leadbury and Ares.
Elle and Mias: PrologueIt was dusk when Elle finally got off work and was heading home. Her legs ached, but she walked steadily, motivated by thoughts of soaking in the bath and then curling up in bed with a good book.Elle and Mias: Prologue in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Within a few blocks of her apartment, uneasiness began creeping up upon her. It felt like she was being watched. The hairs on the back of her neck stood up despite the warm night air. While only half convinced her mind was tired, she quickened her pace anyway.
The faster she walked, the more the street lights illuminating her path seemed to flicker. Then all at once they darkened completely. The moon's soft blue glow took over casting shadows over the street as Elle broke into a run. Soon though, even the moon was overtaken by a passing dark cloud and she found herself running in darkness.
Suddenly her legs felt as if she were trying to run through water. Though she poured all her strength into trying to move her legs, they barely responded to her mind's urgent need to flee. The sensation craw
Elle and Mias: Chapter 20Elle's fingers slowly turned her teacup around in her hands that afternoon as she watched the horses in the pasture. The owners of the estate, a middle aged couple who bred and trained horses as a full time hobby, offered them lunch on the veranda, which Mias and Elle gratefully accepted.Elle and Mias: Chapter 20 in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Ares had been unhitched from the coach and allowed into the pasture with the other horses, but his sights remained focus on the white mare he had been introduced to earlier. He trotted behind her, whinnying and trying to catch her attention, but the mare never once replied and simply kept putting distance between them.
"She doesn't seem to care for him at all," Elle commented.
"The owners told me she was a difficult filly to break," Mias said before chewing on a bit of bread.
"Maybe she just doesn't like the idea of being forcibly paired with a mate she barely knows," Elle suggested, her tone hinting at the parallels between the horse and herself.
Mias looked at her for a moment before chuckling, "I s
SuicideBitter is the cold wind,Suicide in Free Verse More Like This
nothing's warm about it.
It tells the horrid truth,
that death is nearby.
And there is no hope,
in trying to outrun it.
Not even a chance,
well maybe if you could fly.
Sharp is it's pain,
though she doesn't panic.
She has fallen onto death,
the sidewalk painted her shade of red.
This was her decision,
for she knew it would be quick.
Someone could've stopped her,
but it's to late for now she's dead.
One day she had enough,
of living her lie.
She had problems you see,
she held everything inside.
So today was the day,
she decided to die.
Today was the day,
she commited Suicide.
CrushAll of my emotionsCrush in Free Verse More Like This
are in a jumble,
And when I try to talk
my words all fumble.
My feelings for you
are undoubtably growing,
But do you feel for me
if I don't tell you there's no knowing.
So this poem is my confession
because my hands will not hush,
For you are so much more
you are my Crush.
Speak...PleaseSpeak your mind,Speak...Please in Free Verse More Like This
Tell me your thoughts,
I don't care what I might hear,
I just want you all to be fine.
Just let me in,
Only for a second,
What's the point of it then,
For me being your friend.
I want to help,
It's my function you see,
I have to at least know,
Or try to make it better.
I can keep quiet,
Not blurt out what isn't to be repeated,
HonestyBe honest with me friendHonesty in Free Verse More Like This
Give it to me straight
Look me in my eyes
And tell me everything you hate
Do not attempt to lie to me
Release that horrid beast
It doesn’t matter if I cry
Let your inner monster feast
I want to understand
I can’t stand misunderstood villains
Or you walking away
To keep counting your sins
It helps, to be honest
When you further explain
I know about the need to be alone and have space
Or you’ll have a panic attack again
]Stop toying with your masks
Peel that hollow shell off
Let me see your demons, your darkness
Before I turn rabid and rip your head off
I want to be able
To see more of the good from you
Wrap around it and pull it out
So we can keep loving too
The Promises We Make and KeepNo one will understandThe Promises We Make and Keep in Free Verse More Like This
The Promises We Make and Keep
That will last forever
Until we take the fateful leap
Even we can’t truly see
That these promises will hurt us
Make each of us cry
It’s already broken a part of us
Yet we made a solemn vow
Never shall we leave
We all need one another
As long as we breathe
The complications of this love
Will drive at least one to madness
Make them fake a smile
And attempt to hide their sadness
But this is our doing
We chose this hill so steep
And on it will go, due to
The Promises We Make and Keep
DeafSilence it seems,Deaf in Free Verse More Like This
is music to my ears.
For it's like I'm the only one,
who even hears.
Because silence is peaceful,
and brings pure bliss.
For me it is better,
than even a sweet kiss.
But there is the longing,
to hear more.
I want to hear the song,
from times before.
I want to let words,
fall from my lips.
Sing just a song,
from my own lips.
Oh then there are things,
my ears cannot bear.
Like horrid screams,
and things that scare.
So I shall not wish,
to even hear a leaf.
Forever and always,
shall I remain Deaf.
HopeLooking out a windowHope in Free Verse More Like This
as rain falls from the sky,
Blocking out the screams
wishing the sun would shine.
Tired of all the fighting
and struggling with anger,
Why can't time stop
then everything might be alright.
A better Hope for tomorrow
has become forbidden,
What will be will be
and that's how it'll stay.
Always sitting and waiting
every waking minute,
For the moment in your life
where you can get away.
It'll be better
and life will be bright.
But until then
And secretly Hope
you'll make it through tonight.
Maiden of the NightWho art thou maiden,Maiden of the Night in Free Verse More Like This
whom beautifully gleams.
Not in sunlinght but startlight,
as thou glides towards thee.
Thy eyes hath never seen,
such a wonderous face.
Not ever in a night of utter dark,
nor in a splendid faraway dream.
Thou swing and thou sway,
and thy realize thou art dancing.
Thy bow and thou curtsie,
and thy join thou's invisible soiree.
Thy hath never known a woman,
to dance with such grace.
As thy step thou twirls,
as starts sing for thee.
As we dance thy remembers,
an almost forgotten time.
Thou was once thy consort,
thy's beloved, oh love.
Now knowing why thou came,
thy must leave with thee.
For our love shall never end,
oh my heartm thy will be with for eternity.
I Was the One Who Fell in Love With YouForever was I supposed to be happyI Was the One Who Fell in Love With You in Free Verse More Like This
Forever was I not supposed to cry
Forever am I to be the lonely one
Forever am I the forgotten one
Forever was I to wonder who cared
Forever was I to help whoever fell
Forever am I to be left out instead of brought in
Forever am I to chose those who don't love me in return
Forever was I with doubts
Forever was what I wanted with you
Forever seems to be to much to ask for
I was the one who fell in love with you...forever
Always tomorrowForgive me if I askAlways tomorrow in Free Verse More Like This
But it's only because I care
Please don't be so hard on yourself
Sometimes it's more than I can stand
If you didn't know
I can sense your feelings easily
When you're sad, I'm sad
When you're happy, I'm happy
But today you were disapointed
So I can't help but feel it too
I don't want you to feel this way
So I just wanted to tell you
There is always tomorrow
To try again
And who knows maybe
It'll be better all the same
Never give up
And walk with a frown
Look to the bright side
Holding your head high
I'm not sure if I helped
But I can say I tried
Just know that I care
And love you as well
requiem to remember the roses.there are these roses and they grow outside my window in the spring;requiem to remember the roses. in Short Stories More Like This
in the summer the sun burns their petals and they die.
i curl into a ball on my bed on the hottest summer days and sing to them -
its like my requiem for the roses.
you're a gin soaked barroom queen, spilling your thoughts to a stranger. you've abandoned reason and hope and you've forgotten love and dreaming.
all thats left in your alcoholic little mind are tales of better years and ability to hum yourself to sleep - even on the loneliest of nights.
you're close to a tragedy, but you're breathing and you've still got a few smiles left behind that sore face of yours.
it's the 5am cold sweats and cigarettes, and the attempts to find a teenage jesus that make me think i'm lost. its the screaming in my sleep and the inability to walk that make me believe i'm not going anywhere.
its the wanting to wake up staring at the sky that keeps me alive.
because there's something about the sky that reminds me of a self portrai
illusionists and wanderers.she sets her cold cup of coffee down and leans back into the beige couch that smells of rain and spilt wine and frames the blank wall of her loungeroom. she lets the noise from the television wash over her as she breathes slowly and heavily, trying not to take anything in.illusionists and wanderers. in Short Stories More Like This
she lays out her clothes for the night; setting them down on the edge of her lonely double bed, that reminds her of men and lonliness. she doesn't mind too much; the smell keeps her company on week nights when nothing else will. she falls from her weak knees onto the bed and as she lays back into the musty blankets she wonders why she even bothers any more.
she pulls dark eyeliner from an open cupboard, and as she closes it, the mirror relfects a golden, honey face that she doesn't recognise. her hair isn't blonde enough; it's never, ever blonde enough. and her eyes, oh her eyes are small and tired, and have lost their shine. who the fuck will ever love this mess? she lines her eyes and has two shots o
maybe in the morning,-maybe in the morning, in Philosophy & Perspectives More Like This
she remembers watching the sunset from her father shoulders and thinking that it was as if the sun was dying. as if its long life was slowly falling away behind the skyline and that it sprayed colors across the ever-darkening sky to remind people that death is a beautiful thing. that in the morning, a new sun would rise and everything will be bright.
when she dies, she wants to go out like a sunrise. she wants people to watch in awe as she changes everything just one last time and makes death beautiful.
she's older now, and she imagines that death is like being awake at night; the comforting silence and the dark that accompanies it. feeling like you're nowhere, that nothing exists. on the outside, everything will be like a sunset but on the inside of death you'll be alone, but you'll be safe and nothing will hurt you.
then a new sun will rise in your place as you watch the colors of the sunrise that you ever so often forgot about. this new sun will warm the hearts of your mourners
when spring comes - two.its a beautiful thing to witness, the beginning of new life. i think thats why i liked autumn so much. because i knew, that after the cold and after everything was finished dying and decaying, it would all come back even more beautiful than it was before. it was a hopeful time of year, in a way. it made me happy. besides, everything always seemed so warm in autumn. the warm tones that paraded across the trees made everything seem cosey and cute. it made me aware of the fact that winter was just around the corner, but it was as if things weren't going to be as bad as they were the year before, even though they alway were.when spring comes - two. in Short Stories More Like This
but right now, i think i was being born again. being born into a new being that revolved around this messy-haired, wide-eyed, wild boy. i think it was the begging of a new life, and it was as beautiful to witness as i could ever imagine. it makes me wonder what i miss sometimes, when im too busy to pay attention. maybe i could have witnessed the unfurling of a flower,
when spring comes - four.The first time I ever went to the beach was with my dad, and I still remember it like it was yesterday. The sky was dark and the water was darker, and the people around were just grey figures, wading through the black water. The horizon was purple and the beach was a glowing, deep orange, illuminated by flickering street lights in the middle of St. Kilda. The air was thick and warm, and the water wasn't cold but I couldn't see my feet and I was shaking. My father has his rough hands under me, and was telling me to relax, to just relax and float. To just be.when spring comes - four. in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
I would breathe in, and feel my body rise millimetres from my father's fingers, and breathe out and feel myself fall. His hands were always there, strong, warm and safe, and now as I exhaled my warm breath into the cold air and I could feel his fingers beneath me, still as warm and rough as ever. My heavy shirt moved gently in the water beneath me and reminded me that he wasn't there, that he'd never be there again. I in
incompletethere is a melodyincomplete in Free Verse More Like This
inside this ribcage
but the world
has stolen the
there is a sadness
and an insanity
that is inherent
in the moments
we fall apart
but a dignity
and a beauty
in every day
that we do not
spring has come
but i'm not sure
if the flowers, yet,
or if the chill
sometimes i think
there is a madness
to a melody alone
but i remember
all there is left
5.00there is no fucking metaphor5.00 in Free Verse More Like This
for the way you tear me apart
it's something like lightning
ripping through the sky,
but also like the way
learning how to lose.last winter i fell in love.learning how to lose. in Short Stories More Like This
i fell in love with a boy who had jutting collar bones and skinny legs, and whose mousy brown hair curled in all the wrong places, who had perfectly thin lips.
he kissed me for the first time in the middle of the night, and we sat on an old brown couch, under two blankets shivering in the cold watching the stars and waiting for the sunrise.
last spring i was his world.
he was everything i'd ever needed, everything i'd ever imagined. he told me he'd love me forever and ever, and that i was more important than anything in the world. one night, he spent hours on end reading me fairy tales from all over the world, until i fell asleep curled up against his chest. he'd walk me home, and i'd tell him of my father, and he'd tell me of his mother. some times i felt like i could just watch him forever. brush my fingers through his hair until the end of time.
last summer i lost my mind.
i never slept. i never ate. and he was always there. he'd hold me through the night
nine things i missnine: i miss the way you smell, the way you used to kiss me goodnight and the way your unshaved stubble would feel against my six year old skin. i miss the excited misery of your presence, the way you loved me but made me cry.nine things i miss in Short Stories More Like This
eight: i miss the way i'd lay in the dark, not quite sleeping, just so i could listen to you and mum talk. and then when she left, the way you'd fiddle with the strings on your guitar as if the notes somehow filled the empty space that hangs in the air where her sullen voice used to linger.
seven: i miss the way the wet grass used to feel between my toes and the way our neighbor's cinnamon doughnuts used to taste so much better when i ate them staring at the sky on top of my tree house. i was only eight, but i knew there was something special about everything back then and i miss that hope, that security.
six: i miss his house, the one with the fig tree and the hill in the back yard. the one with the old washing line that we'd all hang off as he'd push us around
snow melting in midair.there are no words left in her system.snow melting in midair. in Short Stories More Like This
she's beyond alone, and shivering cold. lying curled up naked next to her toilet she begs her unreliable god to let her sleep. she has vomit through her hair and she smells of cheap wine and stale cigarettes.
she feels violated and disgusting, and won't stop telling herself she's a failure.
[but gorgeous, dark haired honey, look at you,
he cries in the shower so no one will hear him. all he can feel is hot mist filling his lungs and cold air falling over his skin from the open door. he lets the water drip down and over his open lips, as he reminds himself how horrible he is.
he falls to his knees and then to his side and the numbness kicks in, the terrible aching pain but the inability to cry, to eat, to sleep.
he tells himself he loves her. he loves her. he loves her.
[but pale boy, what do you know
the roof is spinning and the she tells herself the more she takes the faster she'll fall asleep. they're small - easy to swall
REPO: Et In Arcaerdia Ego, Chapter IIREPO: Et In Arcaerdia Ego, Chapter II in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
REPO! THE GENETIC OPERA: ET IN ARCÆDIA EGO
Chapter II: "Ecce Arcædia"
Written by Abri Isgrig and Diane N. Tran
City of the Dead.
Never has there been a place so aptly named.
There was an idea of the City once — a glittering, beautiful, shining thing with hopes and dreams — but it was not meant to be. The Wars had changed that and left its imprint everywhere: The Plague devoured half the population. The oceans rose and swallowed much of the world. Land became a precious commodity. It was a City of Nightmares, of glass and steel that blossomed towards the perpetual darkness aloft and the noxious pollution abound from the Dead, rotting and festering inches below the earth. It was a City of Disease — a virulent, spreading infection, a wasteland of sickness, that squatted upon its putrid foundations, twisting its tentacles
The Case of the Outwitted Detective, Chapter IIIThe Case of the Outwitted Detective, Chapter III in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
THE GREAT MOUSE DETECTIVE: THE CASE OF THE OUTWITTED DETECTIVE
Chapter III: "The Woman"
SPECIAL COLLECTOR'S EDITION
Dramatised by Diane N. Tran
The both of us were startled at the presence of someone else in the room.
"Your door was open," said the cloaked figure, matter-of-factly, "so I did not see the need to knock, nor to stand out in the rain."
Shedding off the hood of her cape from her head and brushing the damp wisp of hair away from her eyes, there she stood — tall, graceful, and queenly. She had entered so gently that we may never had heard her if it were not for the music of her voice. We were motionless, as if time had stood still for a moment, and she spoke again, as clear as a crystal bell:
"Am I interrupting? I believe I have an appointment."
"Miss Relda, welcome!" I fumbled, as I hurried to shut the door.
With a smile, she extended her hand to me in a pleas
NOES: Innocent Demon, Chapter VINOES: Innocent Demon, Chapter VI in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET: INNOCENT DEMON
Chapter VI: "Dirty Little Secret"
Written by Abri Isgrig and Diane N. Tran
He had awakened from a restless sleep at the cool, gentle touch of a hand, not his own, caressing his fevered brow. He could hear the steady beeps of the medical equipment around him and feel the slow drips of the IV tubing underneath his skin. Filling his lungs with air with a heavy amount of effort, the gardener shifted uneasily against the pillow and swallowed thickly a cough. His mouth was parched. His flesh felt hot and clammy. His entire body felt heavy, as if weighed down by boulders. Everything felt numb. His eyes squinted to focus through the drug-fueled haze before him, but couldn't. It was too bright to see. He could, however, make out a silhouetted figure of what appeared to be a woman.
Human Target: Finding the Perfect RingHuman Target: Finding the Perfect Ring in Short Stories More Like This
HUMAN TARGET: FINDING THE PERFECT RING
Written by Diane N. Tran, with Abri Isgrig
Junior gave a look of utter dismay, as he got off the phone with Old Man to confirm that the target was eliminated, watching his partner-in-crime and sworn brother lift the hand of a female corpse to examine a large ring upon her bloody finger.
"Sweet ice," said Harrison, as he pulled the expensive band off the woman's cold digit, cleaning the blood off with her sleeve, and admired it under the light.
It was an oval-cut sapphire of the deepest blue with fourteen petal-like diamonds surrounding it on a band of white gold. It was a work of art.
"What the hell are you doing?"
"She doesn't need it anymore, bro," his friend glanced at him without a tinge of remorse or guilt.
"Maybe not, but it's sick all the same," cringed Junior, as he threw a bag of weapons over his shoulder. "I'd
14 Days of Unromantic Films, Part II14 Days of Unromantic Films, Part II in Reviews & Guides More Like This
14 DAYS OF UNROMANTIC FILMS
PART II: "Obsession, Delusion, and Limerence"
Written by Diane N. Tran
Here's the other half of the "unromantic" film list.
08 - DANGEROUS LIASIONS (1988)Centred in the French 18th-century ancien régime, before the Revolution, where moral decadence of the privileged classes rivaled that of Sodom and Gomorrah and Ancient Rome, satirizing human sexuality as well as subtly examining sexual hypocrisy and desire, a kind of oh-so sophisticated laugh at bourgeois morality that would have delighted Voltaire and Molière and greatly amused Shakespeare, this cynical tale is that pins two bored, aristocratic schemers against each other, as they play God with other people's lives in an elaborate lechery and revenge either to protect themselves, to get what they want, or simply out of pure entertainment
MM: Milton Mamet, Agent of SHIELDMM: Milton Mamet, Agent of SHIELD in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
MADCAP MUSINGS: "MILTON MAMET, AGENT OF SHIELD"
Written by Diane N. Tran
Life seems to be made of awkward moments and awkward moments seem to define my life (and to follow them, please note the images above): There's that awkward, if amusing, moment when you're searching for images of Dallas Roberts (Milton from Walking Dead) and you stumble upon him resembling a SHIELD agent, dressed in a dashing business suit and a bluetooth. Being the longtime comic book reader and 1960s spy-fi TV junkie that you are, your brain, the crazy and imaginative thing that it is, is suddenly bombarded with a montage of the spy-fi adventures of MILTON MAMET, AGENT OF SHIELD, complete with a theme song of Johnny Rivers' "Secret Agent Man" ringing in your ear: He works under Director Nick Fury, of course, as one of his finest intelligence operatives. He has this adorkable bromance with Phil Coulson, has a half-insulting, ha
MLP: Eyes and Hourglasses, Chapter IMLP: Eyes and Hourglasses, Chapter I in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
MY LITTLE PONY: EYES AND HOURGLASSES
Chapter I: "Mail Call"
Written by Diane N. Tran
Derpy Hooves was Ponyville's neighbourhood mail-mare. When she was first hired for this job, there was a great deal sniggering all over Cloudsdale for hiring the ridiculous, little cross-eyed pegasus. Luckily for her, looks can be deceiving and, in time, she became the best mail-mare that Ponyville ever had.
Letter by letter, parcel by parcel, she would work her way from one end of town to the other, zipping from house to house, building by building, slipping envelopes into each mail-box and each mail-slot, and waving to each pony she passed by. Through rain, wind, or shine, she was there every morning without fail and one thing she always prided herself on was never being late and, today, she was ahead of schedule. If she kept this up, she might treat herself with muffins at Sugarcube Corner a dozen<
Poem: Sithe SathanasSITHE SATHANASPoem: Sithe Sathanas in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Written by Diane N. Tran
Nothing left of the whore; nothing, oh!
Pierce her belly, see the crimson flow.
Time at my whim, ticking, ticking;
Digging through her belly, picking, picking:
Yellow, pink, grey, brown, black, red!
My nails, in and out, place them on a spread:
Intestine, uterus, kidney, bowels, liver, spleen!
Wet my nails, ha, 'tis all musingly routine;
Gash her throat; alas, no more breath;
Wet my tongue across, to taste her soul bracing Death—
Happy sneer! Slit her nose, off between the eye;
Peel the face, here the skin stretch where she lie.
Let the hellish colour ooze, like melted butter,
For my next snip be something subtler:
Rip one breast in a claw, kiss it once.
Sweet and thrilling in my tortured conscience
Between my daggered teeth, I bit off the other:
Such a deed would please my blood-brother.
Shred off the legged flesh, gnawing, crush the bone,
As pleasant to me,
NOES: Innocent Demon, Chapter VNOES: Innocent Demon, Chapter V in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET: INNOCENT DEMON
Chapter V: "Son of a Hundred Maniacs"
Written by Diane N. Tran, with Abri Isgrig and Liz Hartley
Thirty-eight years ago.
Dressed in a tight pair of shabby overalls and striped shirt two sizes too large, his hair unkempt and in desperate need of a cut, a six-year-old boy sat on his knees in the playground sandbox at the Cincinnati Orphanage. His striking blue eyes studied a grey, scruffy-looking tabby cat that tip-toed towards him, as he held out an orange cheese puff to it. With a cautious sniff and a curious swing of its tail, the feline gawked at the boy for a moment with a pair of bronze eyes, licking its uneven whiskers eagerly, before it began craned its neck on nibble on the tip of the flavoured chip held between the boy's chub
NOES: Innocent Demon, Chapter VIINOES: Innocent Demon, Chapter VII in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET: INNOCENT DEMON
Chapter VII: "Madonna and Child"
Written by Abri Isgrig and Diane N. Tran
Refreshed and, above all, satisfied, the gardener relaxed back on the inclined mattress of his hospital bed, his eyes half-lidded, his breathing leisurely and content, and allowed his body to surrender to the gratification, albeit self-gratification, that washed over him. It had been a long, long while. But his peace did not last long, as he jerked awake at the sound of a knock at the door. Quickly tossing two balled up tissues into the wastebasket beside his bed, he covered up with the blankets.
See no evil, think no evil.
"Good evening, Frederick," came a sweetened voice that sent chills down his spine for reasons he couldn't explain: It was that Christ bitch again. It was Sister Mary Helena.
And this time he h
HyperThere were consequences to bringing Mercutio to certain worlds. The man was like a sponge, absorbing the energy of the world around him and both internalizing and externalizing it. So, in hindsight, perhaps Cian had this one coming.Hyper in Short Stories More Like This
From space this world seemed rather interesting and Cian could fuzzily (actually perfectly, but he would pretend it wasn't) remember saying the word "quaint" about it. It was a world that had a very low gravitational pull, and as a result many things in the world floated. If Cian remembered anything he should have remembered the time they went to a mostly bioluminescent world, where touching anything made the foliage glow, and how Mercutio spent hours literally poking everything to see what color it glowed.
Once they blinked down to the world Mercutio…well…he got a bit hyper. In the beginning he was just grinning, enjoying bouncing about in the low gravity. But as time moved on the bit of excitement turned to energy, and
NothingIt didn't take more than what felt like a few sparing seconds for Cian to move from Sesmia to Taltreau. One second he was in the forest, the next he was in the living room of Mercutio's home. Cian took in a deep breath of cool, crisp air and steeled himself. This would be a tough conversation to have. It would be tough with a stranger, and even worse with the man who was his only and closest friend. Still, Cian went down one of the hallways to Mercutio's room. The man was likely still asleep.Nothing in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Moving quietly down the hall, Cian came to the door that marked Mercutio's room. Unlike the rest of the Eternal's house, this one wasn't too decorated. The door was simple, white, almost devoid of anything interesting. Cian only recognized it because when he toured Mercutio's home he asked what the door when to, and the brunette shrugged as he stated his room lay beyond it. At first Cian t
GiovanniNothing was the same, and that was the problem. Stability was something Cian liked, that was why he had come to the conclusion that the universe was all a pattern. Patterns made sense, and once Cian learned that pattern he could be comfortable. But now the pattern had shifted, it wasn't something Cian recognized, and that was causing tension.Giovanni in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
In the last month or so Cian had grown so used to the man he had met that this change was straining their relationship. MercuGiovanni acted the same as his previous reincarnation, but not exactly. The little things were what separated Giovanni from Mercutio, and the fact that Cian could pinpoint those differences was something he would think about at a later time. Right now all he knew was that those little differences were starting to drive him up the wall.
Giovanni hummed. Constantly. Whenever he was awakewhich was all the time.
You Should SleepAfter that vivid explosion of emotions Mercutio was rather demure. That made the process of Cian blocking one of his powers that much easier. Mercutio was calm while Cian reached into Mercutio's energy. Energy configurations were something complicated, but not impossible to understand. It helped that Cian was as old as he was, since that sort of age aided in understanding energy.You Should Sleep in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Though, to be honest, Cian had never really sat and stared at an energy configuration. Mercutio's looked like a thousand of intricately woven braids, all tangled within his body. Cian had to wonder if his was similar, but he would ponder that thought at a later time. Right now he had to sift through all the threads, occasionally tugging at one, testing which ability it was. Mercutio was silent and still l throughout the entire process. Cian didn't think it was hurting Mercutio, and surely his friend would say som
Because You Helped MeMercutio heard his own breath come in ragged hiccups as he stared at the grass in front of him. The tree he was leaning on was a good support, not the best, but it was keeping him upright. For now. He tried so hard not to notice it when Cian walked into his line of vision, but it was impossible not to. Cian planted himself in front of Mercutio, all of his body in direct sight. Mercutio shivered as he heard Cian take in a breath to speak.Because You Helped Me in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
"What are you talking about?" Cian asked.
Oh you know exactly what I'm talking about. Mercutio thought spitefully, even though he was painfully aware of the fact that Cian actually knew nothing of Mercutio's situation. And it wasn't that he was trying to find a way to hurt Mercutio right now. In fact, from the tone and inflection of his voice, it was easy to say Cian was concerned. Rightfully so, really, because wouldn't anyone be
A Revolving DoorTo be honest, this wasn't a technique or ability Cian had really used, at least not in the last millennia or so of his life. Looking for someone, anyone was something he had never done, and now he was trying to find one out of an infinite number of people in the known (to him) universe. The idea was daunting, but as he shut his eyes and blocked out the world of Sesmia, the smell of the muddy air, the heat and humidity that would have strangled him, Cian found this to be almost peaceful. There was something natural about the feeling of blocking out everything, reaching out with only abilities, and moving his essence through space. Bodies were such limiting things, but Cian's power, his being, all of that was so much stronger.A Revolving Door in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
On any other given day Cian would have described space as empty, cold, silent, and nothingness. Yet, as he strode it like this, it was almost colorful. He could feel all of the life withi
Feel This OutTheir hands fit together perfectly as they slid out of the crowd. Cian couldn’t stop smiling, his face feeling odd from how his lips were permanently stuck twisted upwards. Mercutio leaned on his arm, the other eternal’s head brushing against Cian’s shoulder. It was like a reflex, and Cian stopped to kiss Mercutio’s temple. Mercutio giggled slightly and pressed more securely against him.Feel This Out in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
“See? I told you.”
Cian looked up to find the two of them standing within a few feet of a table. Sitting on top of it was Damien who was talking to a man sitting on the bench. Cian almost winced as he looked over the man. He was an older human, with short black hair that was beginning to silver. The left side of his face was completely scarred, the slashes running down his face and neck, and his eye was so badly damaged it couldn’t open properly. Yet, for all of the old and well-healed injuries, the ma
How The Universe WorksAt this point, not much surprised Cian. Every planet seemed to be the same; all the people were the same, and the way their histories played out in the grand scheme of time were all the same. Take this world in front of him right now. It was populated by a race of bird-humanoids that worshipped the weather. They were in their infant stages of knowledge, worshiping rather than understanding. They were split into tribes, some friendly with each other, some decidedly not. The people were doomed to fail and fall into war, some tribes would die, or perhaps the whole world would. If they didn't, life continued and perhaps there would be a renaissance or enlightenment. If they all died then he could come back in another thousand years and see the new life emerging, only to fall into the same trap its ancestors had.How The Universe Works in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
"Lovely world, Sesmia is," said a voice behind him.
Chills ran up Cian's spine and he jerked
You Came Here For MoreSesmia greeted Cian fondly by instantly cocooning him in a blanket of humidity and powerful heat. Cian shouldn't have been surprised; after all, he had been here just a few weeks/months earlier when the rainy season began. Rainy seasons in tropical rainforests brought endless heat and humidity, he knew that. The problem was that Taltreau had been a mostly mountain and river worldvery little humidity. Taltreau's climate ranged from cool and pleasant to blisteringly cold. Sesmia ranged from warm and sweaty to unbearably hot and humid. The sudden transition threw Cian for a few seconds, and he had to wait to adjust to the completely different climate before heading down a trail he barely knew.You Came Here For More in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Thankfully the memories of romping through this forest were still fresh in Cian's mind. Eternals had impressively expansive memory, therefore it was easy for Cian to remember the hidden path in the muddy grass and bro
Curiosity“Look at this!” Mercutio squealed as he darted away from Cian.Curiosity in Short Stories More Like This
Cian threw his head back and suppressed the need to shout. The two had been taking a leisurely walk through the cosmos up until now. Cian had grown bored hopping from planet to planet and he managed to convince his lover to just stroll through space. Of course it couldn’t last long. Not much of any one activity (save a few) managed to entertain Mercutio indefinitely.
Turning around Cian found a new reason to sigh and shake his head. Mercutio was floating about a large satellite. The silver and white constructed was oddly shaped, almost like a cone with a series of antennas poking out of it at regular intervals. Little white and red lights blinked on it, and a foreign writing that soon translated to Peregrination MARK IV was pained in red on one of the sides. It was nothing exceptionally amazing, despite how Mercutio flew about it, toying w