Snippy - Poem of DoomSnippy - Poem of Doom in Free Verse More Like This
Oh Captain, my Captain! I say it to mock,
You're lucky as hell but to me you're a c***.
Please spare me the missions, I've no head for heights,
Balloons and big lists lead me only to blights.
Evading the probes of an alien race,
Then having to witness your > : ( angry face...
But what choice have I? I'm involved in these fights,
With Cancerous space-monsters full of red sprites,
And Lemonade weirdos and God knows what next,
Just how can you stay so serene and unvexed?
What price should I pay for your simple delights,
Be eaten by whales after soiling my whites?
I know you won't listen, but you'll come unstuck,
And one of these days you'll run right out of luck,
Your empire will fall, and your ego besides,
It's karma for sure, like the turn of the tides,
And then I will lol, sitting in my own muck,
Coz after all this I just won't give a f***.
Arizona's Legacy~ Chapter 4PACIFIC OCEAN- JAPANESE TERRITORY JANUARY 1942Arizona's Legacy~ Chapter 4 in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Gulping, Missouri turned around to look at a large aircraft carrier. Her teeth were barred and her hazel eyes blazed. “Are you happy now?” Missouri asked Iowa. Thanks to his brother’s genius idea, they were caught in enemy territory and taken prisoner. “Come with me.” The carrier snarled and giving Missouri a harsh nudge that made him yelp, she escorted them even farther west, back to Tokyo. Several other ships surrounded them as they entered port. “Who are they, Akagi?” One asked. The carrier, Akagi answered. “They are American shiplings, Kaga.” She replied. “Why were you here?” Kaga asked. “We’re you here to spy on us?” Shinano asked. “No, we snuck out of port and got lost.” Iowa admitted. “You lie, you’re here to spy on us!” Shinano insisted. He barred his teeth, ready to strike when a commanding voice rang out. “Stand
Arizona's Legacy~ Chapter 6bArizona’s Legacy~ Chapter 6bArizona's Legacy~ Chapter 6b in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
MIDWAY ISLAND JUNE 1942
Enterprise had just disappeared underneath a storm cloud so he was hidden from the Japanese. Yorktown was not so lucky. She was just emerging from it. At least five Japanese took aim on her and dropped their bombs. One hit was all it took and Yorktown went up in a ball of flame. “MOM!” Missouri shouted. Danny swooped in low to let Missouri jump off his back and into the water before banking around and soaring upwards to challenge the offending planes in a good old fashioned dogfight. Missouri raced towards Yorktown, joined swiftly by Wisconsin and New Jersey. Yorktown was fortunately still afloat and alive when they reached her. Her antiaircraft guns turned the sky black as their rounds exploded, preventing any Japanese plane from getting close to her. She was leaning sharply to port as she favored her injured side and blood ran down her flight deck but her eyes were ablaze with fire and she fought on like a demon.
Arizona's Legacy~ Chapter 5PEARL HARBOR HAWAII JANUARY 1942Arizona's Legacy~ Chapter 5 in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Back in Pearl Harbor, Yorktown paced back and forth anxiously. “Where have they gone?” She wondered. “They could’ve left the harbor.” Enterprise suggested. “They knew not to do that!” Yorktown exclaimed. “They’re curious, of course they’d assume there was something to hide so they’d go out to find it.” Enterprise replied. Yorktown sighed. “You’re right but god, what if they’ve been captured?” She wondered. “That’s always a possibility.” Pennsylvania admitted. “But if they did leave the harbor, then there’s a high chance someone would’ve seen them.” He said. “Nevada!” He called. Nevada, being helped by Vestal off the beach at last, snapped to attention. “Yes, flagship?” She asked. “Did you see Yorktown’s shiplings at all today?” Pennsylvania asked. Nevada frowned. “Yes, t
Arizona's Legacy~ Chapter 17PACIFIC OCEAN APRIL 1943Arizona's Legacy~ Chapter 17 in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Wisconsin laughed as Iowa circled around him for the fifth time just behind Porter. The little destroyer had accidently fired a five inch shell at Iowa and although the battleship was unhurt, he was angry.
“Get back here young man!” Iowa shouted. Wisconsin and New Jersey just exchanged glances and continued on, the rest of the task force following. “You are dead when I catch you!” Iowa shouted as he closed in on Porter. Porter, yelping accelerated and raced away from Iowa, sending up a spray of water into Iowa’s face.
“Grr, I’ll get you for that!” Iowa shouted. Wisconsin sighed. “Can he just give it a rest already.” He muttered. “Hey, you wanted this.” New Jersey said. “Yeah but I didn’t expect Iowa to be so angry at Porter.” Wisconsin replied.
“I’m always angry at him.” Iowa said as he passed them again. He gave Wisconsin a deadly glare. “You
Arizona's Legacy~ Chapter 11MARSHALL ISLANDS AUGUST 1943Arizona's Legacy~ Chapter 11 in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Iowa sighed as he patrolled between atolls. He’d been here a month and had yet to see some action. The most exciting thing he’d seen so far were crabs crawling on the beaches. “I’m bored.” He muttered.
His captain, John. L. McCrea, laughed. “It’s not so bad out here.” He said. “And besides, I’d take boredom over blood any day.”
“Well I wouldn’t.” Iowa grumbled. “I’d take anything over this.” He smacked his bow on the water. “I was told when I got here ‘you’re gonna kick some ass Iowa’ and ‘give the japs a pounding’ but I’ve been here a full month and have yet to see a single Jap. All I see is sand, sand, sand and sun, sun, sun. I’m bored, bored, bored.” He yawned.
“What I’d give for a fight.” He muttered. “Just to have a Japanese warship come along would be perfect.” It seem
Arizona's Legacy~ Chapter 6aArizona’s Legacy ~ Chapter 6aArizona's Legacy~ Chapter 6a in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Because this chapter is so long, I had to divide it into two parts.
PEARL HARBOR MAY 1942
The US Navy bounced back surprisingly quickly from the aftermath of Pearl Harbor. By late May, most ships were either fully repaired or in the repair yards, getting ready to do some damage against the Japanese. Missouri had grown significantly in the last few months. He was now nearly 20 feet long and weighed a good 500 pounds. Iowa, being closer to 100 feet long, was now large enough to be in commission and was sent to the Atlantic to deal with the Germans. To say the least, he gave the Nazi’s quite a scare. One morning, Enterprise returned to port with exciting news. “The Japanese are planning an attack on Midway!” He exclaimed. “When?” Pennsylvania asked. Enterprise snapped to attention. “At ease.” Pennsylvania ordered. Enterprise continued. “They plan to launch an attack on the first.” He replied. “
Arizona's Legacy~ PrologueThis is the first chapter in a new story I'm going to try and write about Arizona and his family during World War 2. After Arizona's death his sons, Iowa, New Jersey, Missouri, and Wisconsin try to carry on his noble name as they take the fight to the Japanese home islands.Arizona's Legacy~ Prologue in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Read and tell me what you think. If you don't like, just tell me to shut up.
Arizona's Legacy~ Prologue
DECEMBER 7 1941 PEARL HARBOR HAWAII
Arizona could only watch as the Japanese attacked his home. He was trapped between Ford Island and the repair vessel Vestal. Her terrified shrieks sounded in his ears. "Vestal, be quiet." He ordered gruffly.
How could he concentrate on destroying as many aircraft as he could if she kept on distracting him. "I'm sorry." She whimpered. "I'm scared Arizona, I'm not a battleship like you. I'm a repair ship, I heal I don't fight." She said.
He pressed against her, feeling her quiver in fear. "Hey its alright, we all get scared sometimes." He assured her. She nodded and Arizona turned
Arizona's Legacy~ Chapter 22ULITHI MAY 1945Arizona's Legacy~ Chapter 22 in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
One week had passed and Iowa was free to come out of drydock. Most ships gave him a dirty look but Iowa ignored them. He could care less about anything. Missouri approached him.
“Iowa, I’d like to have a word with you alone.” He said. Iowa nodded, following his brother outside the harbor. Missouri dropped anchor and Iowa followed.
Missouri sighed. “I know this is hard for you, but you have to move on. Yamato wouldn’t want you to wallow in grief now would she?” He asked. Iowa sighed. “No.” He replied. “No, she wouldn’t.”
As if on cue, a gentle wind whispered past Iowa’s bridge and a voice whispered in his ear, aided by the gods “Carry on my love. I am watching, always.” Iowa closed his eyes. “Aye, that I will Yamato.” He whispered.
The gentle breeze blew around him and Missouri twice before vanishing. Missouri looked at his brother and Iowa nodded. The two proceeded back to Ul
Arizona's Legacy~ Chapter 18ULITHI JUNE 1944Arizona's Legacy~ Chapter 18 in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Missouri paced around the harbor worriedly. Fletcher was assigned to him to keep him from running off and her watchful eyes surveyed him with concern.
“Nevada will be fine.” She assured him. Missouri was far from convinced. He knew that Nevada was taking part in the invasion of France and was terrified that the German Lutwaffe would try to sink her.
Movement at the harbor enterance caught his eye and he whirled around to see Iowa, whistling happily as he returned to port. “Do you have to be so obvious?” Missouri hissed.
“Me, obvious about what?” Iowa asked innocently. “Don’t you play dumb with me, I know where you’ve been.” Missouri leaned forward to sniff his brother’s hull.
“Ugh, Soba.” He mutered. Iowa chuckled. “It was delicious.” He said. Missouri grimaced. “Did you eat any dinner at all or did you just skip straight to desert.” He asked.
Iowa smiled. “That&
Arizona's Legacy~ Chapter 14GULF OF SIAM DECEMBER 1942Arizona's Legacy~ Chapter 14 in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Missouri and Nevada were patrolling off Singapore with Prince of Wales and Repulse when a buzzing sound was heard. “Japanese planes, prepare for battle!” Wales cried. General Quarters was sounded on all four ships. Not a minute later, the Japanese zoomed in.
Nevada and Missouri opened up with their antiaircraft guns. As battleships, they had many more guns than any other ship and this became apparent as a black screen of flak appeared between the ships and the planes.
Repulse and Wales fought with their own guns as well but their screen wasn’t as thick as the American’s was and allowed some of the Japanese planes to get through and drop their bombs. “Wales watch out!” Wales heard Missouri’s cry and tried to turn sharply to port to avoid the bomb but he wasn’t fast enough. The bomb hit and exploded on his starboard side, just aft of the bridge.
Repulse took a double hit and snarling, shot the offending plane to p
Segue 5"Lady Sanguine and Char... They were more than just friends, weren't they?" The Old Man grinned at the young Twi'lek girl, nodding. "They were lovers, which was of course forbidden at the time. He cared more for her than anything else, and it destroyed his world to think he had failed her." "So she..... didn't make it then." "He didn't know it at the time, but she and the medic made it out okay. I hear she had a child with that clone, but she died protecting her during the Jedi Purge."Segue 5 in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
The crowd was quiet for a moment, considering this tragedy before a brave soul finally asked, "So what happened to the Black Squadron?" the Old Man's brow wrinkled as he thought back, drinking deeply from his cup. "The Rebels scanned 'em on the way in, and saw biometrics for two clones, Char and Dinh. They thought it was an Imp trap and took 'em prisoner for questioning. 'Course, once they realized that there was no Imps n the group, they treated their wounds and gave 'em quarters, but Char was the last
The Coast IntroductionThe Coast is pretty much the only name I could think of for this setting. A mixture of high magic and science fiction, The Coast started in development from the over active imagination of a five year old.The Coast Introduction in Settings More Like This
Movies to set the mood: Star Wars, Dune, Serenity
Shows to set the mood: Outlaw Star, Firefly, Cowboy Bebop, Trigun
Books to set the mood: Wizard’s First Rule, Dune, Dealing With Dragons, The Dark Tower (series), Crystal Singer (series), A Wrinkle in Time
The Tone of The Coast
The main point of The Coast is the combination of futuristic tech and alien life with the sword and sorcery of medieval fantasy. Strongly influenced by Dungeons & Dragons yet set apart from it, The Coast is a wide universe (multiverse really) where one can find gun slinging elves, or space-faring ships powered by arcane magic.
Magic is built into every thread of the setting. It influences everyday life and shapes the history and future of worlds. In contrast, advanced tech does what magic cannot, or simply
Chapter 8 Lightsabers`Snap-hiss.` Six crimson-armored Stormtroopers dove out in pairs facing opposite directions, filling the hall with the scream of blaster fire. The two groups of four rebels fired into the hall, but smoke from the bridge soon obscured everything but the flashes of ruby blaster bolts crisscrossing in the darkened space. Tower fired a volley of concussion grenades into the area where the Red Troopers had been. Moments later however, the grenades sailed back toward the Black Squadron's position, carried by an invisible hand. The team had just enough time to dive for cover before the grenades went off, the blast deafening and disorienting the four Rebels. The four Tantive-II Vanguards pressed their attack, rapidly firing blaster bolts into the tight space where they knew their foe to be, but a series of strange thrums sent their blaster bolts back at their originators, the crimson bolts striking them in the chests. They died with an expression of confusion on their faces.Chapter 8 Lightsabers in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Dinh leveled his E
Segue 8Jae shook her head, frowning. "How can you know this story from all angles, Old Man? I could by you peering into the thoughts of one of the characters if you had been there, but you've spoken about the thoughts of three people so far." The patrons who were absorbed in the story frowned at the Imperial interloper, annoyed at her interruption. "I know what they was thinkin' for the sake of a good story. Now shut yer yap if y'a'int got nothin' constructive to add!" The Old Man's tone caught her off guard, and she indeed did fall silent.Segue 8 in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Mustang took another long drink of Caf, savoring the texture of the warm drink before continuing. "So Char acted like a dumbass and got himself fried, busted up, and knocked out.When he was in the Clone Wars, they used to say his head was harder than his helmet, but I guess this is the second time Covetous has proved that false, eh?" He chuckled to himself, and continued. "Alana yelled at Tower somethin' fierce after that for throwin' a grenade into the me
Segue 9The old man leaned back in his chair, sipping his drink and looking around at the gathered crowd. They all stared at him with rapt attention, their eyes locked on his, but not really seeing him. `no`, he thought to himself, `all they see is the past.` After a long moment of absolute silence as he looked around mildly at everyone, the Twi'lek romantic at his elbow broke the spell. The gathered hush fell with an almost audible crash.Segue 9 in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
"So?" The old man glanced at her, her eyes huge as she stared at him, rose tinted fantasies no doubt flitting about in her mind. He sat for a moment before answering. "So what?" The young Twi'lek threw her hands in the air, making an exasperated noise, something like, "Gah!"
The Old Man suppressed a smile. It would ruin the image he had built of himself. Instead, he continued the story as though nothing happened. "Despite what you may think, nothing happened that night between them. She fell asleep after a couple of hours, and he laid her down in his bed, an
Segue 6"What're you drinking, anyway?" The Old Man chuckled to himself, sipping his hot cup. "Just hot Caf and a little cocoa. Keeps the cold off my old bones and makes it a little easier to talk so much." He shifted in his chair, cracking his back with a grunt and settled in again. The young teal Twi'lek scooted a little closer, leaning in with an eager look in her eyes. "So was there a romance between Alana and Char? And what about Delah and Tower?" He chuckled to himself at the eager young romantic, shaking his grizzled head. "No, between the scars left by his relationship with Sanguine and her being the new Six, replacing Aether, he didn't much have time for romance, I would think."Segue 6 in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
"See, Alana's whole demeanor contradicted everything about him, and generally rubbed him the wrong way. Like I said, he was a vet from the Clone Wars, and everything was all military appearance, uniformity, cover and align, and spit and polish. Alana on the other hand, wore her green A-Wing jumpsuit rolled dow
Ch 3 Sanguine LadyVisla strode confidently down the well lit corridors of the Finite Patience, Stormtroopers and Imperial officers standing at rigid attention as she passed. `by the force`, she thought, `My mistress cows these fools like Vader... no, the Emperor himself. This is what the Dark Side can offer me?' She smiled to herself, grandiose thoughts playing through her cruel mind. Vengeance against these fools who had unwittingly wronged her clan was only a ploy she fed her crew. Her mistress had darker and more broad designs for this little ploy. She couldn't wait to retreat to her quarters and report that all was going according to plan. She adjusted the fit of her Buy'ce to be more comfortable under the thick black hood she now wore, and opened the door to the lavish suite the Empire had provided.Ch 3 Sanguine Lady in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
"Mistress, everything goes according to plan. The fools play into your hands as you foretold." The dark lady lounged on her chair as she took the report, cherishing the subjacent tone in her pupil. Inde
Segue 3"So who was this mysterious Sith?" Wex leaned back in his chair, glancing at the chrono and the window below it. The Bespin sunrise was a brilliant thing of orange and red fire illuminating the gaseous skyline, and the temperature, he suddenly noticed, had risen almost five degrees. It was nearing the six o' clock closing time for the Vapor Room, and he discovered that he wasn't quite ready for the tale to be finished.Segue 3 in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
The old man's face crinkled as he thought back, his stubbly face covered in crags. "Her origin is in the Clone Wars, but that's another tale. She was put into stasis in one of her strongholds when a deal went sour and she was badly injured, and she was patched up while in stasis. Her stronghold was a contraband cloning facility to rival those of Kamino, a first rate production facility. When the 'Jedi Betrayal' happened, Lord Vader lead his infamous 501st to her doorstep, killing her private guard, but leaving the facility intact. Perhaps he intended to use it for a futu
Prologue: The Vapor RoomThere were only three men in the Vapor Room when the old man walked in the first night, two off duty cloud car pilots and a collections examiner from level two. Bespin's winters were notoriously cold, and the open air walkways leading to the bar were a bit inhospitable at 0400. all three men looked up as the old man walked in, wrapped tightly in a dark brown travelling cloak with the hood pulled low over his grizzled face. The Ughnaut behind the bar squealed something at him, and he grunted something equally intelligible back, but apparently the diminutive barkeep understood because a moment later there was a steaming cup of blue liquid in front of him.Prologue: The Vapor Room in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Wex Skipper had had a few too many, and was in a rowdy mood. he nudged his fellow pilot and gestured at the old man and his steaming cup. "They say that all the old folks around here got good stories of the old days. I ain't got no good stories from my own days, so why not share some of yours, traveler?" The old man grunted, looking ble
Chapter 6 Medical Mischief"You suck at stitches." He lay there, shocked, for just a few moments before his mouth began talking on it's own. "This coming from you? For a minute there I thought you were blind, for the way you're puttin' 'em in all crooked and uneven. Then I realized that you must just be a mechanic who got lost and decided to play doctor." She glanced at him, and then stabbed him in the leg with a hypo full of anesthetic.Chapter 6 Medical Mischief in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
He woke up some time later with a bad taste in his mouth and a dull ache in his hip. "Have we learned our lesson about making fun of medics?" He looked up at her blearily, and grunted. "Kriffing medics." "Would you prefer I not treat your wounds?" "Yes." He felt a sharp pain in his leg again and woke up some time later.
"Isn't that bad for me?" "Only if you keep talking. When the feeling returns in your legs, you can get dressed and go to the mess hall for lunch." "How will I know where to go?" "There's signs posted up all over the place with directions. Even a rock like yoursel
Mercenary 1-1MERCENARYMercenary 1-1 in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Chapter 1: Blood is Beauty
Release One: Pages 1 - 3
THE COLD AIR in Baron Rorke's study did little to calm his nerves. He was expecting visitors this night and they were not the best of company. A shiver of dread ran down his spine and he spent most of the twilight hours staring out of a large window which stood behind his writing desk. It was amazing, he felt, how quickly a man could become attached to a life of luxury; only to be made painfully aware of how easy it was to lose it. War was always a frightening thing, even more so when one had the knowledge and sense to realise that it was no longer an exercise of glory, but a simple festival of bloodshed and cold murder. In war it did not matter if you impaled a stranger on the edge of your sword, such a thing would be punishable in any city or country, but in times of war it became an accepted norm. If the man in front of you wore a different colour, then it was alright to kill him, it was alright to rip him apart fo
How to Form A Metal BandHow to Form a Metal Band:How to Form A Metal Band in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
Note: This is just a humour piece and is not a part of the appeal so just sit back and relax ^^
--Step One: Can you growl/be really high-pitched?--
a) Yes: Proceed to the next step
b) No: Find a new job
--Step Two: What does your growl/shriek sound like?--
a) OO-WAH-Ah-Ah-Ah: You are mentally unsound, proceed to heavy or death metal
b) SHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA: You are a viking wannabe, proceed to power or heavy metal
c) IIIRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA: Demons possess your throat, proceed to death or black metal
d) *Unintelligibly high shrieking noise*: You might have been born in a dirty cradle, proceed to black or power metal
e) ULULULULULULULULULU: Wrong genre, find a new job...
--Heavy metal: What do you like to sing/growl about--
a) I don't like to sing, I just like to growl: In that case find a female singer with a good voice so you can growl away while she sings. You may need to s
FEARFEAR:FEAR in Free Verse More Like This
Frantically he scrambles away from the dark
Eager to be free of his waking nightmare
Acting only upon the instinct within him;
Reminded constantly that he is prey
For some time he hides in the pervasive shadows
Earnestly praying that he will not be discovered
A single sound is all it takes to jar him;
Running from a creature that he can barely see
From head to toe it is certainly monstrous
Enshrouded in an aura of absolute repugnance
As the acid drips from its cruel jaws,
Rapidly dissolving the ground below
Fearful, he cowers, beneath boxes and cardboard,
Escaping away into a tiny corner of his mind
Alone with only his anxiety for company
Resting for what might be his very last
From birth, Ever-present, Always Remembered
such is the nature of FEAR
Writing poetry again Doctor Cecil? That's good!
You'll need a hobby to be working in an environment like this
-Chen Yuan Wen, 9th October 2012
Waking NightmaresWaking Nightmares:Waking Nightmares in Free Verse More Like This
It begins in the same way, every single night
Fire spreading from an altar in the darkness
As all living beings are slowly consumed,
The coruscating flames appear wet with blood
The scene then changes to a flooded hallway
Live wires dangling just above the water,
Like venomous serpents slithering in the darkness
A single pounce would end my life
Eventually the hallway ends with a door,
One that reminds me of forgotten yore
And my thoughts shall be in rhyme at this point
As though lips and tongue are eternally joint
What maddened schemes have they in mind?
It is not a question, I may ask at this time.
Quickly I am brought before a bone-wrought throne
Kneeling as my flesh is carved 'Atone'
My thoughts return to me and they are normal now
I somehow retain awareness of where I am.
I see before me, a creature rising;
From the shadows it grins and bares its fangs
'I am the end, which you so desperately seek,
And the mo
Little Soldier BoyHe does not fight for the General barking orders,Little Soldier Boy in Free Verse More Like This
Nor for the man in a suit, who sent him across borders...
In his pocket he keeps a single picture, a sole reminder
Like ancient scripture. A home he misses so endlessly,
Tirelessly calling out in his dreams at night. It is the last
That remains on his lips, with his finger pressed upon the trigger.
A single heartbeat, as he sights his enemy; A quiet prayer
To rest in peace. Yet soon it fades, as hope is fleeting;
For the little soldier boy, once marching home.
"Bottoms up buddy, I miss you..."
-Chen Yuan Wen, 18th October 2012
DieDie:Die in Free Verse More Like This
Such a simple word, spewed without thought.
"I wish you'd die, I wish you'd be killed."
But what if we actually gave meaning to those words?
Can you understand the emotion, the magnitude, the weight,
Of actually seeing the life of an individual depart?
Can you look them in the eyes, as they bleed into your hands;
Observing their final moments, as the light fades from their eyes?
Or are you simply a soft-hearted coward,
Sitting fat behind a computer, wishing death upon others?
To say that one is deserving of death,
Suggests that you are ready to kill.
And if indeed you are ready to kill,
Then you too must be prepared to die.
"Now please, stop those tears my good man, we've only removed three of your toes so far (^_^)"
-Chen Yuan Wen, 9th July 2013
Whispering to LuciferWhispering to Lucifer:Whispering to Lucifer in Free Verse More Like This
Humans are such wonderous creatures
even when granted the gift of knowledge
They fall prey to their own insecurities
slaves to their own fears and paranoia
Such is the father's gift of free will...
Yes my lord, I understand
but do you not feel disappointment?
The great bringer of light has condemned himself to an eternity of darkness
simply so his father's children may roam free
Without adversity, there can be no acension...
Ah, such a philosophical statement from you
I am well aware that humans must experience both extremes
Without tasting joy it would be impossible to understand sorrow
Yet I fear that my brothers have forgotten that, in a single minded pursuit of-
Aye, clever you are to see that
for these brothers of mine find comfort in the wondrous art of destruction
self-abuse is taken as 'fun', addiction is a personal right
Greed is good and gluttony is gold, sloth is scoffed at
and wrath is protected by the comforting
These Words Aren't PrettyThese Words Aren't Pretty:These Words Aren't Pretty in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
My verses are ugly and I admit to the fact
I can't use pretty language when I'm working with rap
Because the things that I write, are just the things that I feel
I ain't an Edgar Allan Poe or a Danielle Steel
And I'll be honest with you, I've got an envy inside
Because some poets got a flow that's as smooth as the tide
I read some stuff that they write, it's just so dope I ignite
Burning shame and my anger at the beautiful sight
And like birds of a feather, they're flocking together
These poets are the Gods and I'm nailed by the weather
But as the rain pours down, lightning resound;
I try to write pretty words but my lips remain bound
So deeply silenced by fear - the darkness I hear,
Afraid to be unloved by the ones I hold dear
I've hit the limit of time; my lyrical crime
These words that I've lived are just turning to grime.
So I wish I had their talent; just a sliver of that
If their skill was a mountain then I've broken my back
It's like t
We Need Villains NOT HeroesFor the longest time I have admired heroes. I imagined them to be people of change, people who would bring the world forward and take us to even greater heights. It was then however, that I realised the 'Human Obstacle'.We Need Villains NOT Heroes in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
Humans as I discovered, perhaps in the most painful of ways, are rather unintelligent beings. They are driven by their core instincts no matter how much they wish to deny it. And the only difference between one and the next is how deeply they let those instincts consume them.
If you walk out into the streets, you can see the well-adjusted average man. Yet in his mind he is not considering the good he could do with his life, he is only thinking about the next step. Where will I go next? Who will I be dating, what shall I enjoy next in life?
There is no thought of altruism; no sense of assistance for another. He could walk down an alleyway filled with the homeless and nothing would change...
If that is the case, then what is the path of truth? Is it doing
It Came From The DarkIt Came From The Dark:It Came From The Dark in Free Verse More Like This
Amongst the ashes, swirling from the darkness of the pit,
Emerged a hand, dragging a battered body across the rocks.
Blood leaked from the wounds so callously self-inflicted,
And teeth ground with a focused determination and seething anger.
It cared not for the warm rubies - staining the jagged rocks,
It cared not for the sensation of pain...
All that it remembered was a dream, An obsession -
One that drove it ever higher; ignoring all else!
Eventually it emerged from this shadowy hole, this dreary depth,
And in that moment, it learned of the truth.
For this creature, denied sunlight and warmth -
-Chen Yuan Wen, 11th December 2012
Poison JointsBlack widows face death head-onPoison Joints in Free Verse More Like This
and fangs bared,
a dramatic exit
after a night of coupling.
I am not a black widow,
but I think death has his fangs
sunk into my heart
and his poison is burning me slowly.
Moon DustFuzzy with dreams, aMoon Dust in Haiku & Eastern More Like This
harvest moon, nestled deep in
clouds, counts shooting stars.
Passing JudgmentsI know the liesPassing Judgments in Free Verse More Like This
you tell the Preacher Sunday mornings;
I know the affairs
you hide behind bowling leagues and book clubs;
I know that when you sit down two seats away
and turn your back to me,
you remember that rumor has it,
I've been deaf for years
and you don't mind saying--
almost too loudly--
They call her Old Lady Sally,
say her husband
beat the hearing out of her,
say she killed him in his sleep
with her bare hands."
Saving Blurburry7:25 A.M.Saving Blurburry in Short Stories More Like This
MONDAY, JULY 25TH
LOGIN SUCCESSFUL. WELCOME BACK, DUMA.
CONTINUE STAR SWEEP?
NEW STAR CHARTED.
NAME NEW STAR?
ACCEPT NAME: BLURBURRY?
STAR NAME ACCEPTED. CONGRATULATIONS.
UNKNOWN (7:55 AM): 07ga;hadgn;a132
UNKNOWN (7:59 AM): a;jgadn;47a;gdanns
UNKNOWN (8:08 AM): he00853llo
DUMA (8:25 AM): Who is this?
UNKNOWN (8:34 AM): hello, lady
DUMA (8:36 AM): No, really--who is this?
UNKNOWN (8:40 AM): i come in peace?
DUMA (8:43 AM): OMG seriously? Dr. Cortal told you guys to leave me alone.
UNKNOWN (8:48 AM): let me take you to my leader?
DUMA (8:57 AM): Get lost, jerk.
MESSAGES DELETED; NUMBER BLOCKED
Hanging SkeletonsDo not talk aboutHanging Skeletons in Free Verse More Like This
hanging in your closet--
are nothing to be afraid of.
Prop open the door
and talk to them--
the answers you seek
in their silence.
Dry Swallow--C.You have a nasty habitDry Swallow--C. in Free Verse More Like This
of touching me where it bleeds,
ragged fingertips catching
There's no scab there;
that wound has never healed,
festering yellow and oozing pus--
and each morning breaks
another plastic seal,
white bottles and tiny blue pills
leaving the bitter taste of almost-tragic
on my tongue.
that stuck feeling passes,
replaced by lethargy
and the diluted memories
of a time you made me happy,
when each morning broke
under a red sunset, the sheets
strewn around us.
It's fantasy now,
but I still feel the weight of you
during quiet moments.
For Love of the StarsMoon Mother sighs, somber,For Love of the Stars in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
beneath a laughing Sun--
his world is ending,
hers has only begun.
Puddled GasolineHear me read it! Puddled GasolinePuddled Gasoline in Free Verse More Like This
Someone left the car on
with the garage door closed again;
streak the harsh winter concrete
as I breathe past the fumes.
at its finest,
or some other form of noise
I'm not familiar with.
He will not hear me screaming
when I tug open the door
and you spill out like a puddle
onto my freshly-buffed shoes,
because I will not be screaming
For the first time
in almost twenty years of marriage,
you've silenced me.
Lion Hunting--DFC 13Hear me read it! Lion HuntingLion Hunting--DFC 13 in Free Verse More Like This
I wanted to show you the colors of my dreams,
clasp your hand like I'm going somewhere and whisper
of the roaring lion pouncing prey in my heart.
It sounds like your name during a quiet, breezy sunset,
a handful of almost-forgotten syllables waiting
to haunt me from broken, desperate shadows.
I can't face you with my eyes caught in shadows,
tendrils of doubt snaking to taint my most secret dreams.
It feels hopeless, like I've spent decades waiting
for a change in the tones of us. For a whisper,
a clamor...any sign that by sunset,
the lion roaring your name will prowl out of my heart.
No, darling, no. I refuse to loose the whims of my heart
to past mistakes lurking, hungry, in the shadows.
These memories are fading, a washed-out silhouette sunset--
all I want is to live, just for a moment, in my dreams.
I can remember your skin on mine, the quiet whisper
of your fingers in my hair.
In the Jaws of Trust voreWarning: Micro, Macro, Anthro soft vore full tour vore no scat totaly cleanIn the Jaws of Trust vore in Short Stories More Like This
Deeth slowly woke from unconsciousness. He feels something early chill all around him. When he opens his eyes, the first thing he notices is Mike laying somewhere across from him. All around the two is what looks like snow. But after looking up above him, the Magician spotted what looked like a giant... cherry?
Mike still asleep didn't even notice till Deeth started shacking by the shoulder
"wha,.." Mike mumbled
"Mike, get up!" Deeth exclaimed, pushing the white substance of his body.
"ok I'm UP!" Mike yelled in an annoyed ton
"Mike, do you remember us taking a nap in a giant bowl of Ice Cream recently?" Deeth asked. "what no why,...." Mike looks around then goes wide eyed seeing the world had turned giant Mike looked over at Deeth then crossed his arms
"Deeth were you messing around with the spell book again," Mike said with a crossed look "Spell book? What Spell book?!" Deeth said in a confused ton.
In The Claws Of Trust: VoreWarning: sadness, safe soft vore, fearIn The Claws Of Trust: Vore in Short Stories More Like This
Deeth the magician was making his way through a snowy mountain range. He was planning to reach the mountain-based town of Cairn within half a week. Deeth pulled a map from his cloak. "There should be a small cave around here somewhere..." Deeth stops.
Mike a human boy was in the same mountain and was being blazed with icy weather. Mike was fighting back all he can from the cold "Damn it is cold, is there a cave near?" Mike mumbled to himself as his cold body thrashed through the tall snow "he....hello?..." Mike calls still hoping to find a cave "hello......." Mike felt like he's about to collapse.
As Deeth was looking for a cave, he hears what sounds like a younger human swearing.
"What the hell?" The magician shouts to himself then goes to investigate the sounds he had heard. Deeth runs across the way until he spots a young man. "Holy hell!" The magician dashes over quick as a flash.
Before Mike could black out he saw a man in clock standing befo
Mike meets Tala *True Love*Mike meets Tala *True Love* in Short Stories More Like This
warning: vore, soft vore, dragon human love and making out youve been warned.
well I wanted to write this for some time this will be the first part there will be a second part if I get the chance to make it.
In a small town near line of tooth pointed mountains and a raging river if you fell in it you would be cared away. In the town there was a line of houses on the sidewalks were there beautiful trees. It was in October so the leaves were now orange, and yellow in the park, a boy at the age of 15 was on the swing set reading his favorite book. It was about dragons, and on every page there were pictures of dragons: tell what they were, what they did, and what they eat. Some had short stories in the book that told stories of famous dragons. Some were from his favorite movies, books, and games like the dragons:
Draco, Saphira, Thorn, Smog, Toothless, Tiamat, Spyro and Cynder. He loved them all, so he continue
The Toxic Hotel voreWarning: sofe vore, Micro, Macro, half full ride vore, intestinesThe Toxic Hotel vore in Short Stories More Like This
It was a great day the sun shinned bright the trees blew in peaceful breeze as well as the tall fields of grass, Toxic a black dragoness with green toxic markings on her shoulder, along with green horns, green tail-blade, even a green underbelly and the reason why she was called Toxic was she had the power of toxic but she was nice dragoness and a good friend as well.
Toxic laid in the tall grass watching the white puffy clouds in the light blue sky today she had gotten a latter from her friends Griffin, Amber and Mike that they were coming for a visit. Toxic had a plane for them she wrote back to them that she was going to have a surprise for them Toxic had made a small sign made of wood with the word "Hotel"
Mike a human who wear a red jacket and a par of jeans walked beside two dragons Griffin a light green dragon and his friend Amber a blue dragoness they walked both walked in the tall grass to wear Toxic had asked t
Dragon of the night(vore, soft vore, dragon vore)Dragon of the night in Short Stories More Like This
A small human village that stocked many wooden houses laid quietly in a calm mist of fog, All the village was at sleep many were comfortable in their beds asleep.
A young boy named Galen staid asleep as like all the others.
The boy opened his eyes slowly (he woke up) his body was warm from the covers on him in his bed, there was goop in his eyes he brought his hand up and wiped the goop from his eyes, he lifted his top half up from the covers, he scratched his head making his hair shaggy then he took his legs out from the covers, he stepped out of his bed, Galen looked over to a desk beside his bed. he reached down to his desk and opened a cabnet that had clear paper in it. he took out one page then placed it on the top of the desk he picked up pen from its jar then dipped the pen in the jar a few times. the black ink dripped from the tip, He began to creat a head then a long neck that curved then added a body that was just a blog then he added the legs t
The Terror of Skies: Cynder voreWarning: Soft vore, battleThe Terror of Skies: Cynder vore in Short Stories More Like This
In a house surrounded by forests a boy wearing a red jacket and a yellow with a pare of jeans walked up the stairs then into an hall way were he entered into a room
"Hey Deeth," Mike called to his friend Deeth was a magician with green hair, he wear a black leather coat and a blue pants, and very good at magic Deeth was working on a spell Deeth looked over at Mike "I'm working," he said in an annoyed ton Mike paused then pulled up a near by char and sate down watching Deeth move his hands around a light blue orb that was flashing quick light beams, then a loud humming noise it began to make the room vibrate, "Mike look OUT!" Deeth shouted as the orb exploded blinding both Mike and Deeth then the orb began to grow bigger then it created a portal both Mike and Deeth were sucked into the portal.
Mike's heavy eyes open to see he was in field of tall grass as he looked in
Predators luck(vore, soft vore)Predators luck in Short Stories More Like This
This all a random story so go easy on me
Deep in the forest a small house laid asleep all was quiet in the home, from inside a young boy by the name of Cire wanted to leave his home. He was tired of being told what to do. Tired of being the youngest. Tired of always being treated badly. HE HAD ENOUGE! Cire had packed up all he could get in his back-pack, he grabbed his gray jacket he went to his window then unlocked it. He opened the window then climbed out, he did not stop he ran the grass beat ageinst his legs making them cold and wet. He had reached the forest, before he knew it Cire was trapped in a cage of trees the grass was tall and wet from dew he was miles away from his home but he could still see his house it srunck being thow he was miles and on top of a hill. He was still walking for quiet some time now his legs were starting to get tired he had to stop for awhile, he sate down by a tree then reached into his back-pack. "lets see?" he thought
A freindship in need part 2A freindship in need part 2 in Short Stories More Like This
(counting vore story)
"that's a nice name," Timmy said
Alena the blue scaled dragon smiled at his comment Timmy stood up still in eye contact with Alena,
"I'll be going now," Timmy began to move then he stopped by the pain in his body.
"ouch," he said
"wait, let me heal you, your hurt," Alena said in a worried ton
Alena slowly lifed her head down and so close to him Timmy was now face to face with Alena's muzzled lips, he had fantasies like with that he would get that close to a dragon and now he is, Alena slowly opened her mouth he flet a blow of hot, warm air exhale right on him and warming him out of Alena's long line of fangs came her pink, red tounge that began to lick his face the saliva covered his face clining the cuts on his check Timmy had taken his shirt off for Alena to clean all his wounds he put his shirt back on he did not mind that the saliva was still wet on his skin it healed his wounds and it made the pain go away.
"thank so much,very much, thank you," Timmy
A freindship in need part 1A freindship in need part 1 in Short Stories More Like This
(here is short one again just imagen it as a anime)
A little boy ran thorw the forest the wet leaves batted his body making him cold and wet, he did not care how cold he was he was too upset to care his checks were wet not from the dew covered leaves but his tears, he had his eyes closed he did not notice a tree root in the soil he felt his leg being polled down as his foot got stuck on the root he fell to the ground hard his body was aching he was cold, his leg hurt, and his sadness made him feel even more pain he was chased out of his own home by bullies and he was beaten, splattered tomatos and shot at with paintball guns he cried harder he was hurt in many ways he tried to move but his leg eroptied with a sharp pain he could not even crawl now he just laied there in the mud it began to rain the rain created small pools around him he closed his eyes and tried to sleep.
It had been hours the young boy was freezhing he felt his body being lifted up he hard
A good freindship voreA good freindship vore in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
vore story image it like a anime
Deep in the forest a small 12 year old boy walked along the paths of the trees he whered a red shirt with short sleves and normal black pants the cold october air blew in whisoled brezz. The boy's name was Mike he was very childish all his life he always loved dragons he would read about dragons and watch movies no matter what he did it had something to do with dragons, He walked in a filed of tall grass the tall grass pracktikly over towered him since he was short, He looked up at the sky the sun was beging to set beyond the hills the sky was turning a orenge,yellow color.
"its getting late," Mike said to himslef
he knew he had to get home but he wanted to stay out more,after many hours the sky had become darker the dark blue skies had finaly came and the shinning stars dimanded across the skies.
Wolf Legend - Part XV15. Roads EndWolf Legend - Part XV in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
Andrew pulled up to the office building. It was already very busy with traffic going every which way on the corner street. Large crowds of people lined up at each corner to cross. "Do you want to come in with me?" Andrew asked leaning over to Rabeka, who was just waking up from a light nap.
"No, I'm going to stay here and sleep," she said, in between a few yawns.
"You're OK with being by yourself?" he asked, surprised.
"There's too many people around for them to notice me. The mob isn't that stupid. I have my phone on me though."
"OK, have it ready to dial me if there's something wrong."
"I will," she said, leaning her seat all the way back and throwing her jacking over her face.
Andrew ran his hand down her hair. She'll be OK, he reassured himself.
He cut the engine and hopped out of his Mazda. The air was thick with traffic smoke, rather difficult to pick up on any smells, but he doubted anyone from the mob would be in such a crowded place, however, if they kne
Wolf Legend - Part V5. Battle PlanWolf Legend - Part V in Fantasy More Like This
Andrew woke up the next morning, feeling new circles underneath his eyes. He had been up all night thinking about what he saw, and the same thoughts once again flooded his mind as he lifted his head off his pillow. Rabeka is in trouble, he thought. I'm the only one who can do something about it. I'm the only one who can truly help her.
The more he thought about it, the more didn't want to get involved, but he couldn't get the voice of the man behind the doorthe twisted grindy tone of his voiceand the things he said to her out of his mind.
Money by Friday. What did he mean? What happens to her Friday if she doesn't have the money? That was two days away. Andrew felt he had some sort of responsibility for her life. I can't let this slide. Of course, this meant, if he were to intervene, she might see him for what he really was. Or if I am careful, she won't.
Andrew focused more on his exercises this morning. He wasn't sure
Wolf Legend - Part XI11. AdorationWolf Legend - Part XI in Fantasy More Like This
Rabeka stepped out of the warm shower to muffled music coming from downstairs. She stood silently to listen, then rolled her eyes at the style of the music; jazz.
She quickly dried herself and dressed, paying more attention to her hair and cursing at herself while examining her face; she had washed her make-up off in the shower. She pulled her hair up in a messy up-do, and searched everywhere in his cabinets for hairspray. She didn't expect to find any, but settled on an almost empty can of mousse instead.
After she was satisfied, she opened the door to the bathroom to smell of bacon. She smiled and bounced with happiness, despite the heavy jazz music being played.
Rabeka walked around the corner into the kitchen to find a peculiar sightAndrew dancing to his musickicking his feet in the air; flipping pancakes, and skatting with the current jazz solo.
Rabeka leaned against the wall, palming her face as Andrew got his groove on.
Suddenly Andrew spun full directi
Wolf Legend - Part II2. The OfficeWolf Legend - Part II in Fantasy More Like This
Andrew slipped on sweatpants and found himself a clean sleeveless t-shirt in the laundry pile. It reminded him again of the pile of chores he needed to catch up on after work.
After brushing his teeth, he went to the stairs and slid the down the rail. It was early, a little after four A.M. He didn't mind getting up early. This was his usual routine: get up, work out, eat breakfast, and go to work.
Andrew needed a good workout every morning to help him get through the day. Werewolves burn a lot of energy, and to keep themselves from getting antsy or jittery, it took a hardy work out each day to control this. A few push-ups and a quick round the park run did the trick.
One would think exercise for a powerful werewolf would be pointless, but in fact, its was essential for their overall health and well-being. A werewolf's metabolism is lightning fast, coupled with a high internal body temperature, he would need to eat a huge amount of carbohydrates every hour to ke
Wolf Legend - Part IV4. ComplicationsWolf Legend - Part IV in Fantasy More Like This
The next several mornings Rabeka and Andrew continued to spend time together before work. By this time they had become very comfortable with one another. Eventually, it was a planned event to meet for breakfast and walk and talk work. It was something he looked forward to each day. Their topics were very broad, and fast paced, since they had very limited time during the day to talk. Only in the mornings and sometimes during breaks could they sit down and share a conversation. Only so many minutes to use up. But each day, they never ran out of things to talk about. Andrew almost lost his voice the first week, he had never talked so much. Rabeka mostly remained shy and reserved, but she did open up a lot more than he expected. Their were unlimited surprises in this human. There were days however that she almost never talked, almost like something was bothering her. He never dared to ask what the issue was.
Today just like any other day, it was break hour during work. And
Wolf Legend - Part X10. SecretsWolf Legend - Part X in Fantasy More Like This
Rabeka lifted her eyebrows and smiled. A werewolf.
Andrew nodded once, and began to clap softly.
She nodded for a few seconds, before letting out a small chuckle.
What? Andrew asked, a little confused.
That's interesting. Rabeka sat back, staring off into space again trying to put the pieces together.
Do you believe me? Andrew asked, eager to know what her real reaction to it was. It was no longer a game.
She breathed in slowly, I think I do.
Andrew was relieved. I can't believe it. She actually believes me. She trusts me, and she knows my secret! His fears were long past him now. She obviously didn't care what he was, as long as she knew, and now she did.
Andrew smiled and sat back, satisfied with the way things had gone. It was much easier than he thought it would be.
Wait, she asked, pointing at him. For a moment he thought his streak of luck was over.
Tonight was a full moon, you can't be a we
Wolf Legend - Part VII7. ConflictionWolf Legend - Part VII in Fantasy More Like This
The loud booming music rang in Andrew's ears. It was loud even for being outside, but especially for a wolves' ears, which are very sensitive. Even dog whistles drive him nuts.
Andrew attempted to seem optimistic as they approached the doors, which were hidden behind two large bouncers. Andrew glared at one of them and they moved aside, allowing them in; both giving them dirty looks up and down. I could easily tear them apart, Andrew thought, smiling as he passed them. Even though they were twice his size, even in his current form he had more strength than they did. However he was grateful he wouldn't have to deal with them tonight.
Andrew's ears only continued to hurt as they walked through a hallway and into a massive round room. He peered over the dance floor, seeing nothing but a sea of sweaty bodies in movement. The sight reminded him of the dirty grease in his frying pan.
The music was provocative and erotic, only irritating him more the closer they approached the
Wolf Legend - Part VIII8. RunningWolf Legend - Part VIII in Fantasy More Like This
A bullet hit Andrew in his lower right rib, but not deep enough to puncture his lungs. Rabeka screamed covering her mouth as Andrew buckled over in pain, but he stood his ground.
Mel lowered his gun, watching with pleasure as Andrew showed pain; grunting and breathing heavily.
Ouch, Andrew finally muttered, as he sucked in his gut, and stood up again, as if the pain didn't bother him anymore. He still felt pain, his eyes flaring bright yellow only for a moment as he tried to ignore it. Rabeka's hands lowered as she stared in shock. Luckily she could not see what was happening.
Blood soaked Andrew's shirt, trickling down his stomach and leg.
How? Mel managed to whisper, as he watched Andrew stand before him, unphased by the bullet.
Andrew felt his eyebrow rise as he grinned, showing a fang distend.
It's on, he whispered, letting out a low growl as he advanced towards Mel, who had already begun to back away. Mel's colleagues backe
Wolf Legend - Part XII12. SanctuaryWolf Legend - Part XII in Fantasy More Like This
"Where the hell are they?" Les asked. He anxiously reached for the cigarette tucked behind his ear.
"Beats me, Mel said they'd be back in about an hour, three hours ago," Carl said, picking up his newly dealt hand.
"Well, what else did he say?" Another man in the back asked, walking towards the poker table.
Les turned to face him.
"I don't know nothin', Destri. I'm just sayin' what Mel was sayin'," Carl said, rolling his eyes. Destri shrugged and sat down next to him, picking up his cards.
"Well you talked to him for a while, he had to say somethin'," Destri added.
Annoyed, Carl looked away from his cards. "Just that he had some problems."
"How could there possibly be a problem with Rabeka?" Carl laughed, lighting his cigarette. "She's a weak little thing. I can't imagine her putting up a fight."
"Eh, somethin' about a problem with her boyfriend," Carl mumbled.
"Boyfriend? Didn't know she had a hitter," Les laughed, examining his hand.
"It's your turn," Carl sa
Wolf Legend - Part VI6. First DateWolf Legend - Part VI in Fantasy More Like This
The doors of the jazz club finally opened and people began filing in and out. Andrew and Rabeka looked at each other in delight as the line moved slowly but surely into the club.
Andrew could smell the sweet aroma of food, especially meat. He hadn't had any adequate nutrition earlier in the day. He desperately needed to get some meat into his system, or he'd grow too hungry to bare it.
The inside of the club was a dark smoky atmosphere, yet it still had that 'cool' factor that Andrew loved.
Rabeka was impressed, it was not at all what she thought it would be. She linked arms with Andrew as they walked through he doors, making Andrew blush.
An attractive waitress walked up to both of them. She gave Andrew a flirtatious look, but Rabeka didn't seen to care. Hi, welcome to Smoke, would you like the bar or a booth?
Bar. Booth. They both said at the same time. They took a long glance at each other, bursting into laughter.
Street Vending Isn't Easy"A dollar, you say?"Street Vending Isn't Easy in Humor More Like This
Darren stopped his stroll along the sidewalk to examine the small cart set up on the edges of the city park.
"Yup. One dead rat will run you a dollar."
This information was clearly visible from a colorful sign hung on the front of the cart: 'Dead Rats - $1 Apiece.'
"Uh... how's business doing around here, anyways?"
The bearded street vendor scratched his head for a moment before replying.
"Surprisingly poor... I don't get it. Hot dogs are selling, sodas are selling, ice cream is selling... I just don't get it."
"Look," said Darren, "I'm a salesman myself, and I really feel sorry for you. I'll give you some free advice: make your product better and proclaim some flashy sale to catch people's attention. I'll even stop by tomorrow to see if your business is doing any better."
The next day, Darren stopped by the same patch of sidewalk by the park. The vendor's cart was in the same place, but with a different sign:
The Best Day EverI stepped out onto my front porch, took in a deep breath of the fresh spring air, and started down the path to the sidewalk. Pulling open the mailbox at the end of the walkway, I pulled out a considerable handful of envelopes.The Best Day Ever in Humor More Like This
"Junk mail," I said, tossing the envelopes over my shoulder as I read them off. "Bills and junk mail."
I walked back into my house and dumped the mail on the counter, pulling out a box of cereal from a cabinet. 'Alpha-Bites, a letterific way to start your day,' proclaimed the box in large, colorful letters. I poured the cereal into a bowl and then drenched it in milk. After eating most of the cereal, I saw that only a few letters remained in the bowl.
"YOU'RE GOING TO DIE YOUNG"
I was a bit surprised, but then remembered that this was almost certainly a coincidence. After all, bowls of cereal can't actually move of their own accord.
"YES WE CAN"
I looked back down into the bowl and raised an eyebro
Kids These DaysFeh. Kids these days. Got no respect for their elders. Back in my day, we respected our elders. When my old man came up to me and shouted, "Hey, boy! I need your kidney for a second," then by god I got out my pocket knife and got cutting. None of this "but Daddy my internal organs are supposed to stay inside of me" crap. When your pappy needs your pancreas, you don't dally.Kids These Days in Humor More Like This
Feh. Kids these days. Always wearing their dagnabbed pants down below their knees. Back in my day, we knew how to wear a good pair of pants. Why, back when I was a lad, we wore our pants the right way: high enough that we could save money on shirts. Now that's the kind of thrift that folks just don't have anymore.
Feh. Kids these days. Listening to all this rap and devil music with the guitars and the drums and the screaming and the fire and the brimstone and the e
The Art of Romance"Well, little sister, I've finally finished hairdressing your entire doll collection. I must admit I was rather... impressed by its size."The Art of Romance in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
Clarence settled down on the pink shag carpet of his young sister's bedroom, holding a miniature teacup in a civilized, pinky-extended manner.
"Now, for your side of the bargain?"
"What was that, big bro?"
"You were, uh, you were going to tell me what it is that girls like."
"Oh, that's right! Because you're in looooove!"
Clarence sat still and endured a fusillade of teasing. Eventually, his sister apparently ran out of cootie-related jabs to pester him with.
"Hee hee hee! So, right, well, this is the most important thing you gotta know about girls..."
Strolling nonchalantly beside the wavy-haired object of his affections, Clarence made his move.
"Excuse me, but would you care to join me and my good friend Mr. Fluffykins for a pleasant afternoon of tea?"
The girl raised a single eyebrow
PUN COPSJack stumbled backwards as his door was rammed off of his hinges by the force of a battering ram.PUN COPS in Humor More Like This
"Freeze!" yelled the first policeman to rush through the door. "Don't move! Not a muscle! Except maybe your heart, because then you'd die!"
Another cop pulled open a drawer of Jack's dresser and pulled out a small bag of marijuana. The policeman beamed and showed the bag to his compatriots.
"Jack's pot! Jackpot!"
Officer Dave swung his police cruiser into action when he saw a car weaving from lane to lane on the highway. Stomping on the gas, he drove up beside the erratic car and was astonished to find a little old lady knitting a hooded sweater in the front seat as she drove. Officer Dave's eyes widened, he switched on his siren, and he let out a shout.
"Don't do this, Nathan! Don't do this!"
The dastardly Nathan de Ville looked wild-eyed at the small lever he held in his hand, illuminated
The Python PoetHey there, guys! Let me ask you something: how many times have you been in the perfect position to say something romantic to a girl, only to stutter and choke under the crushing weight of your own painfully antisocial tendencies? Yes, I know... many, many times. It's okay. Because I'm here to help.The Python Poet in Humor More Like This
When you hear the word, 'romance,' what's the first thing you think of? If you said anything other than 'computer programs,' I'm afraid you're terribly wrong. Why, it's no wonder you've been failing repeatedly at relationships if you think silly little things like boxes of chocolate, flowers, kisses, and long walks on the beach are ever going to bring you romance! Ha! Ha! Ha! Seriously, what's wrong with you? Get some knowledge! And get yourself some self-esteem while you're at it, you worthless, wretched failure!
Now, as I was saying: when it comes to the ladie
This Essay Contains CyborgsNew England and the South were both regions of the New World settled mainly by the English, and as such they shared fundamental simililarities such as language and loyalties to Britain. However, there were a considerable differences between them that served to distinguish them. These differences lay mainly in their names, their varying concentrations of killer robots from the future, and their contrasting opinions over whether the colonial representatives of the British monarchy were stupid dummyheads or merely jerks.This Essay Contains Cyborgs in Humor More Like This
Perhaps the clearest indicator of the striking differences between New England and the South was the fact that they had different names. As a result of the rocky, infertile soils of the Northeast, New England developed with precisely two E's instead of the Souths' notable zero E's. In fact, upon closer inspection, one might realize that there were no letters shared between these two regions. This could be brushed asid
PUN COPS 2PUN COPS 2 in Flash Fiction & Vignettes More Like This
Sergeant Stephens gathered his men into the briefing room and began speaking.
"Well, men, as you might know, corruption has become an increasingly problematic occurrence in our county. Graft, bribery, fraud... the list goes on."
One of the men raised his hand.
"Permission to speak, sir."
"How are we going to fight this corruption if it's so widespread?"
"Easy. We're going to do it person by person, corrupt politican by corrupt politician. And that is why all of you are here today. We've been tipped off that a certain restaurant chain owner has been bribing officials with spicy South Asian dishes to overlook his flagrant sanitation problems."
"You don't mean-"
"Yes. He's been currying favor with the local government."
"...so that's the situation so far, Captain."
"Let me get this straight. He's a serial timepiece vandal?"
The lower-ranking officer sighed in front of his captain.
"Yes, a serial timepiece vandal.
Wine and DineCharles raised his arm over the table to clink his glass against his lover's in a toast.Wine and Dine in Humor More Like This
"Oh, Naomi," he said in a low whisper, "this night is almost as beautiful as you."
The candlelight that permeated the fancy restaurant cast flickering illumination on his face as he settled back in his chair. He raised his hand and looked over his shoulder at a nearby server.
"Waiter," he said, smiling courteously as the well-dressed server walked over to the table.
"Give us some of your finest wine."
The waiter screwed his face up in a childish expression of disappointment.
"But mommy, I don't wanna go to school today! It's soooooo hard," the waiter replied in an artificially high-pitched voice.
"What?" asked Charles in confusion.
"The whine, sir. I do recall you asking for it."
Charles sighed. "Okay, very funny... now if you wouldn't mind bringing us some drinks?"
"Ah, yes... I presume the young miss will be having the hard liquor?"
InfatuationSurely the skies have parted and heaven has sent downInfatuation in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
A glorious angel adorned with a luminous crown.
Beauteous maiden, you set my heart aflame!
I'd be faithful to you forever, if I only knew your name!
This middle school's doors now shine like pearly gates,
My passion is a hunger which only you can sate.
I now pronounce love eternal, forever and for all,
Ever since you glanced at me when you passed me in the hall!
Your form, it is perfection; your soul, it is divine,
I'd live in bliss for all my years if I could simply call you mine.
If only I had found you first, and keepers would be finders,
By the way, have you seen your face on the inside of my binders?
Good lass, I do now lay myself before you on my knees.
For you, I'd climb o'er all the mountains and swim the raging seas!
Deny me not your love, my dear, your pledge is what I desire,
Your friend says that you hate me, but he's a Judas and a liar.
Even now I do forsee our matrimonial night,
The prelude to our happy years without a
Human thoughtShe is what some call an ideal.Human thought in Free Verse More Like This
Why did the roads of our destiny cross? No one knows. Hell is waiting for me, since the Gods made me taste paradise. There is no weak words to describe her ; pejorative becomes meliorative, this embittered perfection of her face reminds me those delightful paintings of Goddesses.
If Beauty and Charm melt into a being, this very abject being would suffer of her heavenly presence.
This infinity of sensations in her gaze, make feel and shudder of everything best this world offers.
Alike a luminary with a human face: only needing to be to shine brightly, no one can touch her, inaccessible.
Faint men would fight ; I would fight, slay, die, just to feel her breath.
Such misfortune for the inept man who, goofy, dullard, can only think about one thing.
Such fortune yet that the only thing I think about is Her.
Ode to the wilted CamelliaIt all began with a smile...Ode to the wilted Camellia in Free Verse More Like This
The freshly awaken Camellia, morning's wonder
Highlighted even on a rubies' field
She was her own spring sun ; a mellifluous beauty
The gullible Camellia, tricked by this charming rose
Got stung to the blood, cleaned out of her inner light.
Another victim of this world's rottenness
The saddening outcome of a barbaric act.
The daughter of Nature got fouled
Reeked of the rose's stench
Acid rain poured on this virgin sprout
And lost her blossom forever
She dreams of nightmares, craves forgetfulness
Floods of tears under the bloody moon
Her desperate and heartbreaking screams
shatter the icy silence of the Withering Night.
Eternity may not be long enough
For the Camellia to shed all her sorrow -
Oh ruthless Scythe!
You sent to the skies such a pretty Camellia.
...It all ended with a bullet.
Thirst of revengeAre you serious? All of youThirst of revenge in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Laughing out loud
What's wrong with this hysterical crowd?
Looks like I was left out, threw
My heart's petals have faded
No souls by my side
Deeper and deeper into agony
Loneliness has become heavy
This blade I hold
Will shed my blood instead
Do I target the proper enemy?
Why should I use it against ME?
Are you serious? All of YOU
Laughing at ME? Miserable amused faces
You should reconsider it anew
Before I tear you to pieces
You'll know the meaning of pain
It'll become your best mate
My tears wouldn't have been vain
I'll destroy all of you without any regret
"Hey, guess who it is.
Do you hear it?
Nop, seems like you fainted.
while you still breath,
The silent sound of my steel...
Drilling the shell
You used to call
Le temps des larmes(English version below)Le temps des larmes in Free Verse More Like This
Son bourreau vit dans ses yeux de jais
Une désolation si profonde, à se noyer dedans.
Un regard qui implorait une justice plus juste que celle de la faux.
Cela ne dura qu'un instant, mais cette âme perdue
Grava son existence achevée sur le basalte de son coeur.
Son bourreau en perdit le goût de sa vie, le goût du meurtre.
Son humanité enfouie au plus profond de lui faisait-elle enfin surface?
Frappant ses côtes telle un tambour de guerre semant destruction.
Désormais, sur ses épaules pesait le poids pesant de la mort.
Rentrant d'une journée plus sombre qu'une nuit de cendres;
Son bourreau, de ses mains lourdes encore tremblantes
Enleva son funeste masque humidifié de perles de larmes,
Puis s'endormit dans son dernier sommeil.
Title : Time for tears
His executioner saw in his jet eyes
A desolation so profound, that you drown in it.
A gaze that begged a f
Autumn Worry (3/4)Celine spent her time staring at their little SarahAutumn Worry (3/4) in Concrete Poetry More Like This
There was something strangely optimistic with her aura.
She grew amazingly well - a vivid rose - cheerfully.
Looking herself in the mirror, time is an unfair enemy
Unable to struggle against it, leaving its scars-
She still remembered their contact under the stars.
He tried to expel the painful mist covering his gaze
The sunset was leaving his spine ablaze;
Gabriel quickly made himself a despondent reason
Though he couldn't forsake his girls, unable of this treason.
His wife's grin, Sarah's crimson cheeks, all comforted him
There's no way crows would immediately scream.
He can't be goneLying down peacefully in this bedHe can't be gone in Free Verse More Like This
Like a sleeping butterfly
His perfume still embalms the room.
His relatives' tears are resounding
I was told there is nothing much to do
I was told he didn't suffer at all.
He can't be gone.
Yet, I can see him smiling
His loveliness as unrealistic as usual.
Naive people tried to comfort me
How could they understand
Our relationship was outstanding.
Why can't I do anything
Except silently crying.
Yet, I'm sure he is staring at me.
Why is my mind so gelid.
When I'm reflecting everything we shared
More memories than if we've lived a thousand years
I will never, ever find someone like him
Able to understand my very soul.
Tears won't definitely stop running on my cheeks.
God, take my life instead
This world has no use of my soul.
Even eternity would have been too short for us.
I feel worthless, pathetic...
...And especially empty.
I don't care for this world anymore.
Don't leave me
I beg you
I need you
You gave my life a meaning
I would have rather died a m
What have you done?"Worthless being, you don't deserve anybody's affection."What have you done? in Free Verse More Like This
"...I already know."
He was holding his heavy head
Full of shame and lies instead
Tears wanted to flee but were stuck
His body motionless as a trunk
"You hurt her terribly this time, you silly moron."
"...Oh shut your mouth."
"She was kind and blind enough to love you, and yet..."
Slowly realizing what he has done
This petty mind was torn
From any sane mental state he flew
Painfully raising the head anew
"...You're pissing me off."
"And yet, you screwed everything she has brought you."
"...Stop talking, you piece of trash."
The gaze abnormally empty
Darkness surrounding him as a krone
World has become hostile so quickly
In his dreary room, alone
"...I should really stop talking to myself."
Summer Lust (2/4)Her clothes flew away like a smooth breezeSummer Lust (2/4) in Concrete Poetry More Like This
The atmosphere warmed up from several degrees.
Celine's body laid on her lover's, shameless,
Breathing louder at each of his caress.
She moved sensually her soft silhouette, dominating,
Holding tightly her man's chest, panting.
Gabriel wishes this moment could last forever
Filling his partner in with such fervor
How could he have ever guessed he had such ability.
Melting in love, he felt finally free
His lips married perfectly her breasts' shape
Ending this act from which no one wanted to escape.
Spring Leaf (1/4)Celine remembered that night as an outstanding oneSpring Leaf (1/4) in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Alcohol's traitorous climbing had already begun
Rhythmic and noisy vibrations attacking her eardrums.
She wonders who was that cutie emptying his glass
Drunkness moved her legs to him, flickering
Puke on your crush is definitely not a decent greeting.
Gabriel actually found it cute, but a bit smelling,
He took care of her as if they were sibling.
...Time proceeded, two souls were having fun
Seeds of love sure have grown under the sun
From their laughs and grins, flowers of happiness bloomed.
Windy night under the stars, a first kiss happened.
Le ciel sous les cerisiers(English version below)Le ciel sous les cerisiers in Free Verse More Like This
La rosée hivernale s'évapore ; un dernier papillon prend son envol.
Un baiser, un sourire, des caresses, marqués au fer rouge sur ma peau
Le chant des mésanges bleues résonne, hésite, puis s'éloigne.
Sa voix de velours fleurit les bourgeons gelés de mon coeur,
À travers la fenêtre de sa chambre douillette, je regrette
Ce monde que trop lointain auquel je n'appartiendrai bientôt plus.
Perdus dans cette montagne fleurie, impitoyablement belle
Sous les cerisiers d'hiver, les pétales chantent et tombent.
Ce ciel si clair, qui me sourit une dernière fois,
Le ciel de ses yeux.
Title : The sky under cherry trees
Winter dew evaporates ; a last butterfly flies away.
A kiss, a smile, caresses, branded on my skin
Bluetits' warbling r
Why Occupy Wall Street SucksAfter months of protesting the wrong people, the Occupy Wall Street movement finally got a clue and went to Washington D.C. on January 16 to stage Occupy Congress.Why Occupy Wall Street Sucks in Editorial More Like This
And boy was it a real bust!
Despite the liberal media praising it, the protest only managed to garner a few hundred protesters instead of the over ten thousand it claimed it was going to have. Add the fact that donations have been dwindling and protests across the country have been getting evicted, and the Occupy movement could very well be going through its death throes.
People keep asking me why I don't support the Occupy movement. After all, my hero
Arguing With IdiotsWe all have our addictions. For some, it's smoking. For others, it's drinking. And for many others, it's porn. For me, it's arguing on the internetthe most fruitless endeavor since Sisyphus rolling a boulder up a hill.Arguing With Idiots in Editorial More Like This
I don't know what compels me to argue. I guess it's this naive notion that, if you encounter someone with an incorrect belief and you provide them logic, reason, and evidence to the contrary, that they will abandon their belief. If that were the case, the world wouldn't be plagued with birthers, truthers, anti-vaccers, Keynesians, and other idiots with blatantly incorrect beliefs. You can lead an idiot to knowledge but you can't make them think.
So I know that arguing with people rarely changes their minds. So why do I persist with arguing? Do I derive pleasure from it? Hardly! If anything, it gives me grief. There's nothing more frustrating than knowing someone is demonstrably wrong, and even when you prove to them that they are, not only do they not admit it, but
Top 10 Economic Myths BUSTED"Tax the rich! They don't pay their fair share!"Top 10 Economic Myths BUSTED in Editorial More Like This
"The rich are getting richer and the poor are getting poorer!"
"Bush killed the economy with massive deregulation! We need more regulation!"
"Beware! The Koch Brothers are transforming this country into neo-feudalism! We're all going to become wage slaves to our corporate feudal lords!"
Everywhere I go on the internet, I keep running into the same trite economic talking points. Not that these talking points are hard to debunk (on the contrary, they're easily debunked), but that they keep popping up time and again, and I get sick and tired of debunking them each and every time. So, to do myself and everyone else a service, I have compiled a list of the top ten economic myths, followed by the truth:
Myth #1: The rich don't pay their fair share in taxes
According to popular misconception, the rich (especially the richest one percent) pay little to nothing in taxes while the middle class and poor carry the brunt of the tax b
You Might Be A Liberal If...You Might Be A Liberal If YouYou Might Be A Liberal If... in Short Stories More Like This
think the government can spend its way out of debt.
believe we need to fight big business with big government.
claim not to be a socialist, but still want the government to regulate the economy.
defend Obama by arguing "you only hate him because he's black!"
criticize people who call Obama "Hitler," yet had no problem calling Bush "Hitler."
worship wealthy celebrities who preach redistribution of wealth.
think Janeane Garofalo is as intelligent as she is attractive (on second thought, that's an accurate analogy).
think Fox News is biased because Keith Olbermann told you it was.
threw out your radio when Air America went off the air.
think Sarah Palin is the devil incarnate.
label every conservative as a fascist, yet possess no understanding of fascism.
think Bush was the dumbest president ever, yet was smart enough to orchestrate the largest inside job that is allegedly 9/
Bill Maher vs. Common SenseBill Maher has declared that the Republican Party is at war with common sense. "I think Republicans live in a world now where whatever a liberal says, no matter how sensible, is automatically evil, wrong, and needs to be fought with the fervor of a starving raccoon on crystal meth," he said during a recent New Rules segment on his HBO show Real Time.Bill Maher vs. Common Sense in Editorial More Like This
You know what's the worst part about Bill Maher?
It's not that he bashes Republicans. They have been wrong on many issues (Patriot Act, WMDs, waterboarding, oil subsidies) and Maher is perfectly justified in bashing them because of itthough to him, Republicans are always wrong and liberals like himself are always right. And to be perfectly honest, that's not the worst part about him either. We all think we're right about something, especially when it comes to politics, so why should we expect anything different from a l
Scare Words From The LeftScare Words from the Left-Wing (And What They Really Mean)Scare Words From The Left in Editorial More Like This
This is a parody and a response to "Scare Words from the Right-Wing (And What They Really Mean)" by Matthew Desmond (and posted as EruditeLiberal's journal entry). The first half of this piece will consist of words and issues, how liberals view them, and what they really mean. The second half will consist of labels (or rather insults) liberals use against their opponents, followed by what liberals really mean when they use them.
What they want you to think it means: White Christian heterosexual property-owning men who fear change and distrust anyone who isn't one of them.
What it really means: Individuals who want change to happen naturally and gradually (rather than radically) and who base their lives on traditional values and principles which have been tested by both history and experience, rather than on theories which have not been tested, or if they have, have been proven to fail.
What White Genocide?There are two types of racists. The first type are imaginary raciststhose deemed "racist" by liberals for not supporting their politicians (Barack Obama), pundits (Al Sharpton), or policies (Affirmative Action). Focusing on these "racists" only diminishes the true definition of racismwhich is the irrational hatred of other racesand detracts from true racists (which would be the second type).What White Genocide? in Editorial More Like This
The second type are true racists: white nationalists, white supremacists, hereditarians, skinheads, Neo-Nazis, Ku Klux Klan membersindividuals who are so insecure about their own lives and of other races that they need to delude themselves with racially-charged conspiracy theories, assuring themselves that their shortcomings in life are not their fault, but that of the Zionist government that provides welfare to African Americans and jobs to illegal immigrants.
One of these conspiracy theories is that of white genocide, the idea that the declining population of Caucasians ve
Are You A Non-Thinker?There are two types of people in the world. The first are those who realize they have a brain capable of critical thinking, and use it by questioning everything, including the government and its intentions. These people are critical thinkers: great minds who help mold society into a better placescientists, philosophers, intellectuals, artists, inventors, and entrepreneurs.Are You A Non-Thinker? in Reviews & Guides More Like This
The second are those who merely float through life without a thought or care in the world, who never question what they are told and accept everything they hear as truth. These people are non-thinkers: people who rarely amount to anything other than to become fodder for tyrants, dictators, and demagogues.
The following is a list of beliefs often held by the modern American non-thinker. If you do not hold any of these beliefs, then you are a critical thinker capable of asking questions and thinking for yourself. If you hold more than one of these beliefs, then you are a non-thinker, and should seriously examine
Top 10 Epic Fails of 2011No doubt 2011 has been a year of epic fail. So allow me to list what I consider to be the Top 10 epic fails of 2011:Top 10 Epic Fails of 2011 in Editorial More Like This
#10: Weinergate "Scandal"
You know what I consider the worst part about Weinergate?
It's not that Anthony Weiner tweeted his junk to a female constituent. Politicians have always been involved with sex scandals here in America since Jefferson. And for the most part, I could care less. Ron Paul could go Hugh Hefner on us and date a Playboy bunny every day of the week, and I'd still support his noninterventionist foreign policy and opposition to the Patriot Act.
And it's not that libtarded moonbats like Rachel Maddow and Cenk Ugyur were quick to defend the man, only to wipe egg off their faces once he confessed.
No. the worst part was undoubtedly the Republicans. As was expected, the "Moral Majority" was quick t
Reality Has A Liberal Bias?In his New York Times bestselling book Bias: A CBS Insider Exposes How the Media Distort the News, Emmy Award-winning journalist Bernard Goldberg wrote about the pervasive liberal bias he experienced firsthand while working at CBS News for 30 years. He claimed that the bias was not part of some conspiracy being secretly implemented by the media, but that it was an unintentional consequence of having so many politically like-minded journalists working together in the same environment with very little dissenting opinion among them.Reality Has A Liberal Bias? in Editorial More Like This
"If you hooked network news reporters and producers to polygraph machines and asked them, 'Do you think you are guilty of liberal bias?' most would almost certainly answer, 'no.' And they would pass the polygraph test because they're not lying," he wrote. "They honestly believe what they're saying. And that's the biggest problem of all."1
Goldberg did not write anything in his book that most Americans did not already assume to be true