Momma Said 'Stop Being Gay'Momma said "stop being gay,"Momma Said 'Stop Being Gay' in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
As night, to morning, faded;
Its beauty was not made to stay,
But hoary grew, and jaded.
I watched as day, with fractured light,
My every fear, rekindled,
And passion fell away to plight,
And hope but further dwindled.
Momma said "stop being gay,"
With hatred, and distress:
My tender love where sin held sway...
"Impure, and meaningless."
Within my heart and soul, I lived,
For all else had bereft me,
And nothing more could be perceived
Than how her words had left me.
Momma said "stop being gay."
For years, I never fought her,
But silently, and hopeless, lay,
The Lord's forgotten daughter.
I've sacrificed a waking dream:
My truest love, to merit
A heaven, and, in death, to seem
Not evil, but imperfect.
Two WomenITwo Women in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Two women at the altar stand,
Forever joined by heart and hand;
Two wives, from this day forth, become:
Two weddings folded into one.
A single child two mothers makes
Of these two women, and awakes
A blessedness so pure in each:
A love, that shall to heaven reach.
Two women, from this world, depart,
Each safe within the other's heart
Until, as angels eased into
Heaven, they fall in love anew.
30 Day Trans Challenge: Day 230 Day Trans Challenge: Day 2 in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
2. How did you choose your name, and what names were you thinking about using and why?
Well I've always liked the name Kyle. Nothing really had me emotionally attached the name- I just have always really liked it.
I knew that I liked it completely when I went to visit my brother Nikolai you see. I took the train to the city to stay 5 days and nobody called me by Kyle. Or even tried to be honest. It was very annoying and I didn't like it one bit.
Anyway, I forgot to mention that I only had told a few people online and my mum who told my dad then told my sister Rosemary. My mum doesn't quite get it but is trying though when I told her she said in these words,
"You'll always be my beautiful little girl."
Which hurt alot for me since, No. I am not a little girl. I am a 14 going on 15 year old Guy. Sure my body says otherwise, but that isn't anyone's business other than my own. You know? Someone's body shouldn't be able to define who a person is.
30 Day Trans Challenge: Day 130 Day Trans Challenge: Day 1 in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
When did you learn the term "transgender" referred to you?
That's Hannah up there.
Well, You see I grew up in a Christian house with 5 older siblings (3 sisters and 1 brother). Yes, I grew up as a little girl and never really heard the term Trans till about the age of twelve or so. During that time I knew there was something different about me compared to the other kids I played with but obviously didn't really pay much attention to it. My friends and I played "imaginary games" Where now I'd just call it poor roleplay. hah. But they always had me play the boy roles and told me that I'd make a really cool guy or that I'd be better as one. Which only furthered my confusion though I didn't think too much into it.
Once I started 6th grade I instantly became best friends with this girl named Lucy. I found her adorable, really nice, cool, and slowly found that my feelings drifted from best friend to love interest I guess. So one night when I slept over she kisse
30 Day Trans Challenge: Day 1530 Day Trans Challenge: Day 15 in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
15) How have you embraced your trans identity?
This question is a bit vague, but I'll do my best.
Pretty much the biggest thing is: I've stopped fighting it. I've tried to stop wishing things were some other way, because they're not. This is the lot I got in this life and wanting it to be otherwise only makes me despair. In fact, I'm proud to say that I'm trans. I'm finally happy with myself because I am no longer afraid to stray far beyond the life styles of my peers. They all act alike and if anyone falls out of line they're usually discriminated and made fun of. I find that unfair and ridiculous. Kids should be able to go around happy with themselves- unafraid to do what makes them independent and unique.
I'm sure alot of you are aware of how 12-15 year old kids act, I know I'm overly familiar with it. In the beginning of middleschool everyone new is nervous and scared, sticking by their elementary friends- slowly getting used to the new atmosphere. Then
30 Day Trans Challenge: Day 1230 Day Trans Challenge: Day 12 in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
12)What are you doing to stay healthy for transitioning mentally and physically?
I'm not as healthy physical wise as I need to be for the transition. I want to start lifting weights, jog, do active nice stuff... To be honest, I really enjoy working out and being active, But it's just been rather frustrating for me as of late since it's been a really windy and rainy spring and I don't want to go outside even if it killed me. Hah. But after one little trip to the gym with a friend I can see a little arm muscle growth which is sooo amazing~ So if I work on keeping that sort of thing up it'll be easier to go out and do things like that.
My mum should be scheduling me in to meet my therapist so I'm also looking forward to that. However I'm actually pretty nervous because I've never actually met one- and I don't know what type of questions she'll be asking. She's supposedly worked with a ftm before so I guess that should make me alittle bit more comfortable. Not really, but I
30 Day Trans Challenge: Day 830 Day Trans Challenge: Day 8 in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
8) How do you deal with being read mis-genderd in the beginning of transitioning by people?
Sadly I am still at the very beginning of my transition. As much as it annoys me when people assume that I'm a chick- I am slowly coming to terms with the fact that I don't even see myself as passing yet. Though sadly I feel like I'm stuck in limbo since I don't see myself as a girl fortunately. But not so much a guy yet. But meh, appearances change over time. Once I'm further into my transition I'm sure that I'll feel better and more confident about that.
Right now I'm still living off of girl's skinny jeans which make me feel like a chicken. Along with tight shirts and sports bras. But my birthday is coming and if I get any money I'll buy my first binder from underworks. Yey binders! I'm really excited because sports bras don't do a thing. It's just like going around without anything on for me Though like I mentioned before-I'm very petite.
BLAH. Boobs is a cool word and I enjoy ma
30 Day Trans Challenge: Day 16-2430 Day Trans Challenge: Day 16-24 in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
17) What's your binding choice and why?
Well my one and only binder is 997 at Underworks and it's really comfy and works really well.Though since its like a wifebeater, it likes to roll up abit sometimes which pisses me off. XD;;
18) How do you feel about the trans laws where you live?
Well the only one that I can name off the top of my head is that StarBucks have in their policy that they don't hire Transgendered people. But uh, I don't really know any other than that.
19) If your religious how do your views effect being trans if your not religious what about your family religions?
Well like I mentioned a long while back, my entire family are Christians. Well besides my brother who is Pagan, which is cool too. But as much as I'd like to call myself Christian as well, I've just been having alot of trouble. I know that other people can't speak for god and no matter what they say when they say things like, "God doesn't love you, you're sinning." It's still jus
30 Day Trans Challenge: Day 1630 Day Trans Challenge: Day 16 in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
16) What's your rock anthem and why?
Tough one .
"The Motions- Matthew West: Because it hits home with the depression and the feelings that I felt for so long with not understanding what was wrong with me Truthfully, Their music among with many other songs help me fight through my negative emotions when they dare to bother me. I'm usually not the most unhappy of teenagers, in fact I try my best to be cheerful and happy in order to help motivate the ones I care about around me so they'll be happy too... Because if anything, seeing people even strangers being upset or crying just makes me want to do anything to help cheer them up and let them know that somebody else cares about them, even if I'm just a mere stranger.
Yes I am so full of creeper status muah.
Then there is this song "Queen - Don't Stop Me Now". It just makes me feel good and influences me to be all hyper and bouncy. Hah.
But then again I just like all sorts of music~ MANY MOR
30 Day Trans Challenge: Day 1430 Day Trans Challenge: Day 14 in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
14) What are some of your passing tips or things you do to pass?
Uhmm Wow I'm not really sure how to answer this to be honest. I should have the word "noob" plastered to my back. Lol. But uh, one of the things that really helped me was my haircut. Getting a good masculine haircut helps(though I don't think that my haircut is any bit masculine.) Be careful, having short hair does not mean that it's masculine, there's certain things that you must do, or it will just look like a pixie cut. But you don't need to just go to a barber and pick out the MANLIEST HAIRCUT EVER. Because in my opinion you should still act like yourself and pick out things that you still like and are you.
I mean, just because I came out as a transboy- doesn't mean I'm going to stop liking neon rainbows, HelloKitty, pink, uh...things that the stereotypical girl likes. I mean, I'm obsessed with my hair and paint my nails. Because it's fun and I like it. Showing off things that you like and enjoy doe
30 Day Trans Challenge: Day 730 Day Trans Challenge: Day 7 in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
7) Who do you look up to?
There are many people I look up to for different reasons. I look up to my friends who accept me for who I am and have supported me through some really difficult times.
But as far as who do I look up too in the trans Community? Well, I'm so very new to it, that I'm not entirely sure. I mean, the first person who I actually got to talk to online who is a Transguy was Marcus, I found him on his Youtube called Dearkitona. He seemed really cool and he has this timeline that I could relate to so much it made me cry.
Because I'm a baby, shut your mouth.
My sister. She is so incredibly strong and knows what she wants and goes after it. She's always been a smartypants for as long as I can remember- She didn't really go to highschool you see, she went for one year and was too smart for the classes so she went straight to college. I mean, She's only 17 and she has moved out and lives in an apartment, has an awesome job..So someday I want
30 Day Trans Challenge: Day 1030 Day Trans Challenge: Day 10 in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
10)What are some of your fears in regard to being trans*?
Well, being outed in an unsafe place is definitely one. I mean, it's one thing being outed at school or a party (lol like I go to parties) or some similar shit, but what about being outed in the locker room, or the washroom? It's not like I've never been in a fight or anything before, but people get touchy when it comes to their "privacy" and I don't want to get the shit beat out of me because of some stupid reason.
Or just at times I'm afraid I'm not passing at all...Although since my friends mother butchered my hair and cut most of it off I pass alot more...I guess I shouldn't be too disgruntled about that.//sob sob. But I'm also finally buying my first binder from underworks today! so that's very exciting.
But another fear is the number of hate crimes against trans people is really scary. They usually get ignored by the general public, too. So i guess i'm scared that people will use it as an excuse to hurt me. I'm sure
I Was Going To CryI was going to cry,I Was Going To Cry in Free Verse More Like This
The feelings were there,
I could feel the tears welling,
And the sadness lay on me,
Sovereign Female WisdomWeren't you once beautiful?Sovereign Female Wisdom in Free Verse More Like This
you rivaled the jealous on Mount Olympus
hair precious as gold
you served Athena
faithful priestess of wisdom
what's become of you?
tainted by forbidden fruit
so afraid of reflections
fear you'll turn to stone?
cold as the men around you
or is fear something else?
is it your fault
men made you this way?
they feared you
their narrow minds
turned you monster
raped by man
of your intelligence
betrayed by trust
won't you please
look past the glass
just once more
see what's true
may it set you free
Because I am Gay.Hello.Because I am Gay. in Free Verse More Like This
I am Cassidy MacIntosh.
I am a high school student.
I plan to major in psychology and criminal justice.
I want to travel the world.
I love to hang out with friends.
I love to swim.
I love to travel.
I love anime and manga.
I love my family.
I need to breathe to live.
I need to eat.
I need to drink.
I need to be loved.
I feel pain.
I feel love.
I feel happiness.
I feel sorrow.
I feel anger.
But none of this matters to you- because I am gay...?