it feels like everything's caving in on my spirit.used
is a word with multiple meanings.
it can mean
all the life sucked out of you.
it can mean
you've wasted away from so much
pressure, a hand you weren't given.
it can mean
you take a giant leap of faith
only to fall to your icy plunge,
into the splash you go.
i don't lke being used.
it's not fun.
you think for so long,
look, this will finally happen
and then it does
when you least expect,
and you feel like shit afterwards.
because you know you're
you know it and
you don't fight it.
i'm not pitying myself,
i'm pitying the girls that deal
with this same problem,
we take what we get
and sometimes what we get
isn't what we want.
maybe it is in some senses,
but after it's all said and done,
it's not what it was
supposed to feel like.
it's almost as if all the
air has been drained from
my lungs, heaving, i'm frightened
by how this thing has been
ruined, bursted to pieces, blown
to smithereens, broken.
but is it?
or are you just pretending it is
so you don't have to deal with
a shadamy story chapter 5sonic: yes shadow is dead yays oh amy!!!!!!!!!!!!!a shadamy story chapter 5 in Free Verse More Like This
amy: get away for me sonic!*gets attacked by sonic *let me go now shadow help me!!!!!!!
sonic: shadow is dead my sweet rose
sonic: just look over there*points at the blood * wtf shadow is not there!
shadow: looking for me *grins but then grrs when he sees that sonic has amy*
sonic: b b b but how
shadow: its a little thing thing called the power of love sonic *hits sonic and grabs amy and dissapers*
sonic : i hate you shadow !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(with shadow and amy)
Amy: oh my god look at you your bleeding you need to stay right here i will be right back
shadow: amy i am ok its just a scrach thats all
amy: a scrach! its not a scrach!*takes out meds and stuff to help it* shadow this might hurt a little * pours water on big cut *
shadow: ouch!!!!! carefull!
amy: sorry shadow here will this help * finshes wraping it up and kisses his arm* feel better now?
shadow: *thinks and smiles* no
amy: *giggles* how about
a shadamy story chapter 6shadow picks up amy and runs over to his house-a shadamy story chapter 6 in Free Verse More Like This
amy: shadow...............you save me so many times
shadow: yeah are you trying to hint me at something
amy: maybe -o////////o ok i am
shadow:and what is that you are hinting on love
shadow kisses amy as they sit down on the couch and holds her
amy: well i umm................i want you to
amy climbs ontop of shadow and purrs shadow smiles and pulls amy in closer
shadow: want me to do what
amy: make love to me
shadow: i will do anythinng for you even that
shadow picks amy up and goes up stairs to the bedroom
shadow wakes up to see his beloved rose sleeping on his chest. shadow smiles and kisses her
shadow: wake up love
amy: mmmm i dont want to five more minutes
shadow smerksand skesuses amy's butt
amy: i awake i awake!
shadow good cuz i want to take a shower
amy:...........u woke me up for that!
shadow: no cuz ur comeing with me
amy: huh o.o
shadow picks amy up and walks into the bathroom
[2 hours later ]
amy starts making break
a shadamy story chapter 11amy: yes deara shadamy story chapter 11 in Free Verse More Like This
dark: you smell
amy: i know hun
shadow: you go clean your self up and i will tell a story to dark
dark: a story! i love stories
amy: ok love
*amy walks up stairs to clean self and shadow picks up dark and sits down on the couch with dark on his lap*
shadow: once there was a hero named sonic everyone loved him. he was always chased by robots and his fangirl amy
shadow: yes mommy anyway sonic got tired of you mommy chasing him and yelled at her this made mommy cry thats when her hero came guess who her hero was
shadow: yes me i took care of your mommy and this made sonic mad it soon made him do things hero's would never do
dark: like what
shadow: hurt people
amy: you telling a story how we came to be?
*amy sits down next to shadow and dark*
shadow: no about sonic
dark: tell story tell story!
shadow: ok anyway it made him do bad things just to get mommy back he ended up hurting mommy
dark: what! why would you want to hurt my mommy!
a shadamy story chapter 7amy, rouge, and cream start shoping hours later they walk by a sex shop and amy stopsa shadamy story chapter 7 in Free Verse More Like This
amy starts to remeber what shadow said
shadow: maybe while your shoping you can go by the sex shop a get some toys for me to plaay with you someday
-end of flash back-
amy: o//////o ummm guys i will be back i going to a shop ok
cream and rounge: ok will be at the plaza
amy walks into the sex shop and looks around
shadow: soooo bored
the door rings
shadow gets up and walks to the door and opens and sees sally
sally runs up to shadow and kisses him
amy walks out of the sex shop and puts the bag into another bag so nno one with see it and walks of to her friends
-with shadow agian XD-
shadow: get the hell off of me sally!
sally:but you love me sonic said so
sally rubs shadow lillte gut i mean big man and shadow thats when amy walks in
amy: shadow i home
amy sees sally rubing shadow and tryin to get sally of
a shadamy story chapter 8shadow smilesa shadamy story chapter 8 in Free Verse More Like This
shadow: sooo what did you get love
amy: i ummmm ggot ummmm o//////////o
shadow grabes amy and pulls her close to him
amy: y you take a look
shadow: then i will
shadow lets her go and amy pulls out the bag and hands it to shadow then shadow takes a look
shadow: hmmmm eatible panties, *others that little ones should not hear or know about XD*
shadow: well lets see how they work
amy: w what
shadow picks up amy and walks into thier room and closes the door
[fyi its about 7 pm ]
amy wakes up and sees shadow sleeping peacefully amy goes up to his face and kisses him and tries to get up
shadow: where you think your going love
amy: o////o to take a shower and no you cant come
shadow: why you have to be like that
shadow smiles and kisses her then lets her go
shadow: fine fair enogh i guess from last night with those toys
amy: you really never used them sweets
shadow: well i wanted you right then and there i could not wait
amy: oh you
a shadamy storyamy: hi you guys^.^a shadamy story in Free Verse More Like This
silver: hi amy
sonic: O.O * hides*
tails: hi amy
cream: hi amy
ronge: hi amy
amy: how are you guys
sonic: *still hiding*
eggman: mhahahahaha i will rule the world!...............by using amy's powers!* grabs amy*
amy: lets go of me egg head!
sonic*stops hiding and hits eggman*
silver:* takes out a gun and points it at eggman* dont even move eggman
* shadow appers*
shadow: need help eggman?
eggman: yes.............yes i do get amy now!
shadow: fine*grabs amy and disappers*
tails: ok what just happened?
rouge: no time to exsplain we need to save amy cream you stay hereand tails watch over her
cream: why cant i come!
sonic: its to dangruos for you and tails
tails: yeah leave us behide(mad)
sonic: come one rouge silver! lets get amy!
silver: what about egg head over here?
sonic: -.-: uhhhhhhhh silver
sonic: he is not there
silver: what you mean he is.* looks and sees that egg
the shadamy story part 2shadow: amy ithe shadamy story part 2 in Free Verse More Like This
* silver and rouge come in*
rouge: stay away from her shadow!
silver: what she said!* attacks shadow*
eggman: not so fast! * grabs amy and points a gun to her head* one more move and she is dead........ now come on shadow lets get out of here
silver and rouge: amy!!!!!*sivler uses is bluse powers and removes the gun from eggman while rouge trys to grab amy's hand but is hit by shadow*
shadow: i dont think so * grins* see you later eggman *grabs amy and disappers*
eggman: i knew would betrade me!
silver: well eggman we meet agian* smiles* and it will be our last *shoots eggman in the head and egg head dies*
rouge: no time for joy silver we need to get amy back she could be dead by now knowing shadow i think he already left her to die we need to get sonic and now!
silver your right lets go
*rouge and silver go and try to find sonic so they have a better chance that amy live( if she even gets stabed by shadow and i think shadow will not hurt amy anyway so it is p
a shadamy story chapter 3sonic: so silver you killed egg heada shadamy story chapter 3 in Free Verse More Like This
silver: yup ^.^
rouge: -.-;.............HELLO!!!!!!!! whats about amy dont forget about her!
sonic: right!....................grrrrrrrrrr shadow will die if hurts her
*they are about a hour away from where shadow and amy are*
(with shadow and amy)
shadow: amy i love you i aways have amy * kisses amy agian but slips his touge in amy's mouth*
amy: *enjoys the taste and kisses back*
shadow: *stops kissing amy*
amy: shadow i i i just cant fall in love with someone that i know nothing about even you are kind of smexi *blushes*
shadow: then lets get to know each other then *grins*
amy: uh oh i think i know what you me* shadow kisses amy as he picks her up and pushes her agenst the wall then shadow starts to kiss her neck* oh my * amy wrapes her legs around shadow as he enjoys shadow kissing her but suddenly she know all about shadow*(i am too lazy to make like a 10 chapter story about them getting them to know each other)
shadow: *stops kissing amy* you a
a shadamy story chapter 4(at shadow's house)a shadamy story chapter 4 in Free Verse More Like This
shadow:*sign* what to do what to do *looks at a photo of amy* hmmmm well it as been a few day maybe i should go and find her *grins*
*ding dong ding dong*
shadow: huh? *opens the door and gets hit in the face by sonic*
sonic: how dare you kiss amy!
shadow: grrrrrrrrr you will pay for hitting me sonic * shadow kicks sonic in the nuts and sonic falls down in pain* now time to go and find amy *smiles*
sonic: that.....................hurt >.
a shadamy story chapter 10amy gets up and walks to the doora shadamy story chapter 10 in Free Verse More Like This
amy: who is it?
amy opens the door and screams
sonic: amy rose you are mine!
amy: yo yo your dead this cant be.......shadow help!!!!!!!
sonic grabes amy hugs her then starts to kiss her
sonic: i am here so i am not dead...at least not anymore
shadow runs in with dark clinging onto him
shadow: o.o holy moly you should be dead!
sonic: who is that
shadow: that is my son dark now let go of my wife!
sonic: amy did you give birth to dark and not my son
amy: yes and i am glad of that
sonic: well then your coming with me
sonic picks her up and starts to run but his legs fall off of him
shadow puts dark down and runs to amy
shadow: amy are you ok!
amy: yes....i need a bath o.o
shadow: picks up amy and heads home
sonic: amy i will get you to be mine i will even if i am dead i will
[at shadow's and amy's house]
dark:mommy ar you ok!
Slip away like sand...I cant believe it...Slip away like sand in Free Verse More Like This
she's really gone
Her life never really fit
It was just a little too long
Her smiles disappeared,
Replaced with tears
I hope she's near,
Cause right now I cant stand alone on this peer
Every time I hear someone laugh...
I remember when she used to radiate with her laugh
Every time I see someone smile...
I remember how she used to glow with her smile
As I walk into the room...I see her in that case
It hurts to look at her...dead
She was running an unbeatable race
' I COULD HAVE SAVED HER!!!' that's what I hear in my head
I walk up and touch her cold face
Tears stream from my eyes
I cant take this...I start to run away from her case
It's hard to believe...she really died?
Why is she gone?
She understood me like no one else can
What did I do wrong?
All I can see is her slipping away from me forever like sand...
The painWalking away was harder then I thoughtThe pain in Free Verse More Like This
But I knew I had to since my heart was shot
There's no going back
But know what we're going to lack
I wish there was something I could do
But I cant bring you back, not even as I look at the dew
It's all over now; nothing can be changed
But no matter what I do, there's nothing to ease the pain
MachinesI turn off the lightMachines in Free Verse More Like This
Than turn up the tune
And on this night
I might just die soon
Look in my eyes
Do I look okay to you?
Can you not hear my cries?
Well now you know what's true
I'd rip my heart open
Commit the perfect crime
But I need to know...
Is this worth my time?
So let's get this straight...
Now you've loved me all along?
Well I'm afraid it's too late
But I'll admit this, I was wrong
I'll blast the words into my ears
Shut my eyes forever so you don't have to worry
Rip my heart out and hand it over after all these years
And give you all my love so between us there's no furry
It's worth my time...
Whatever that means..
And I don't need you to be mine...
Because in the end we're all just machines...
Let me goMusic take me awayLet me go in Free Verse More Like This
Some other place, some other day
Help me find a way
For once to just be okay
Play the notes I need to hear
Bringing death oh so near
Don't even bother to shed a tear
I know you wont think of missing me dear
Sing me your song so soft and light
It brings me comfort as I die this night
Let me go do not fight
I'll disappear like in the sky a kite
I hope the music will take you away
Maybe back to the old days
Help you hold on and find a way
Than maybe you too will be okay
I'll play the notes you need to hear
But I'm playing them to keep death at bay and me near
Even though you have not I will cry tears
I miss you so very much dear
Singing you your song so dark yet light
Maybe it will bring you comfort as I leave you tonight
I have lost you, lost this fight
Please let me go; you cant hold on to a flying away kite
Forever mineBroken heart because of you...Forever mine in Free Verse More Like This
But hold my hand and see me through
You break than heal
Think that I don't feel
Well this is the end of the deal
No more breaking will be done
I give up, you have won
Take my heart, take m soul
I hope this wont take a toll
Breathing so close to me
Out body's intertwined, this was meant to be
We kiss, we touch
I want more, but this is already too much
Hold me close to your beating heart
Please don't let us part
Out hearts beat at the same time
I am forever yours and you are forever mine
MeetHe pretends he's fineMeet in Free Verse More Like This
But he's way over the line
He's not fooling anyone with his act
We all know you're what he lacks
The moon shone on his face
You just laughed and left him in that place
It broke his heart
An added collection to his broken parts
He has give up on all that matters
You let his heart shatter
If you listen you can still hear a beat
I don't want to lose you; if I do I hope one day soon we'll meet
One more day
Only one more thing to say
I whisper in your ear "I love you too"
And I just pray that I don't lose you
Good-bye?I'm so sorry my love...Good-bye? in Free Verse More Like This
I'm so very sorry...
For hurting you
For breaking your heart
I'm so very sorry
So so sorry
Will you ever forgive me?
I don't deserve your forgiveness
Just tell me you wont...
Let me go
You deserve so much better
In return I'll let you go
I can't say it to your face; I'll write you in a letter
"I'll always love you my love
But today I say good-bye
I'm going to miss you
But where's the 'good' in good-bye?"
As long...As long as I have you by my sideAs long... in Free Verse More Like This
As long as I don't have to let you go
As long as I can talk to you
As long as I can be your friend
As long as I can make memories with you...
I think I'll be okay
As long as you want me here
As long as you care about me
As long as you love me in your own way
As long as you promise me you'll stay
As long as you need me as much as I need you...
I know I'll be okay
But without you by my side
Having to let you go
Not talking to you
Not having you as a friend
Not making memories with you...
I don't think I'll be okay
And without you wanting me here
Without you caring about me
Without you loving me in your own way
Without your promise to me that you'll stay
Without you needing me as much as I need you...
I know I wont be okay
KeptBetween two best friends...Kept in Free Verse More Like This
I cannot choose
I don't want either friendship to end
And neither do I wish to lose
So close yet so far
I'm thinking but I just cant pick
Don't know where you are
All I know is that I'm sick
Don't make me choose
Don't make me pick
You I cant lose
Don't make me sick
Hold me close
Wipe away my tears
I need you two the most
Please stay near
You guys are the best
Neither of you should love me
Go, you need to rest
Maybe than you'll finally see
I'm not right for either of you
You really need to go
I'll break your hearts in two
But I need you to know
I need you now more then ever
But you really need to leave
I'll need you forever
Always need you to breath
Understand that this rips me apart
But please, don't slowly take small steps
If you must, run away from my heart
BUt even if you go, in my heart is were you'll be kept
EngagedRing on my fingerEngaged in Free Verse More Like This
A smile on my face
We're no longer strangers
We now run the same race
I pull on the white dress
It sparkles in the light
I remember when I was a mess
Now I'm quite a sight
I say "I do"
Now I wait for your reply
You say "I do" too
In relief I sigh
I lay here in your arms
Your lips eagerly kiss mine
I know you would never put me in harm
For that I trust you and I know I'll be fine
I get down on one knee
I see the sparkles in your eyes
I ask you to marry me
You nod your head and start to cry
The tux fits just right
Now I must wait for you by the stairs
My eyes search for you in the crowd so light
I see you in your dress and you're too beautiful to bare
You say "I do"
A smile takes place of a nervous line
Then I say "I do" too
You are forever mine
Holding you in my arms
My lips meet yours
Dear, you have so much charm
Together we will soar
Why I WriteWhy I Write in Free Verse More Like This
Oh darling, repetitions and lies,
Are they all that you could see?
Truth may be disguised behind words,
But those of mine, are heart scratched words.
My heart can feel truth beyond sight,
And I see the chocolate sweetness behind every eye.
Why is it that so few movies today have a happy ending?
Why is it that so few poems today
Are not of anguish or torn heart?
Why do so few people
Notice not the blooming flowers
Or the lovely colored landscape
And admire nature's simple beauty?
Journalism of today seem to focus only on the extremes;
And the outrageous;
The heartbroken minds;
And of moments without happiness.
Why is it that the simple beauties of this world we all live in
Are so hard to express?
That's why I am here,
For reason I have taken upon myself,
To give, to share,
To show the way to care.
So upon speaking the reason I write,
I hope that within the shattered pieces that once made up your heart,
You'd find the piece that holds the very essence of
The Perfect CrimeThe Perfect Crime in Free Verse More Like This
Remember when we were young?
When we plotted what we could do:
Breaking into songs,
Getting into trouble,
Stealing candy from the shiny glass jar.
What do we do now
That we have committed the perfect crime?
I have stolen your heart,
And you have stolen mine.
It's not enough,
For now we have to steal time.
A Story of Falling Into Love12/06/07A Story of Falling Into Love in Free Verse More Like This
Why do I have to choose between you and her,
When she is the one I may be in love with?
Few would question this falling in-love of a sky's depth,
Pristine snow under a looking sunrise.
But there is a difference,
That my heart may not tell but memories paints so well...
I can't forever be falling in-love...
In the end I'd always arrive at love,
Or become lost, and fall into the depth of an endless abyss.
My heart may be blind, but time has made me wise.
Not too much, but enough to know that...
I have fallen through that endless falling,
In-love, without landing, without feelings of home.
I have tossed out blindly my hands,
And felt hopelessly for a stop in this cliff side wall.
When I was just about to give up,
I found you, as you catches hold of my hand,
And stopped my endless falling to a love unreachable.
I am not in-love with you, I realize now.
I simply love you.
Afraid to Love06/17/08Afraid to Love in Free Verse More Like This
Because I am in love,
I left the world out of my mind in ruin,
The world we were once strangers to,
One I sworn to never surrender to.
Because I care,
I dare not give you what I have always given,
For betraying a beautiful lie,
I will give it all.
Ive never been so stupid,
To ran away from all Ive lived for,
Too clumsy, afraid,
To admit Ive fallen in love with you.
In The Rain06/18/08In The Rain in Free Verse More Like This
I long to hold you to explain,
How I ran away in the freezing rain.
I long to catch your beautiful smile,
So true, captivating drenching of love.
I long to tell you all this and more,
As we stood under the pouring rain.
A rift in time.
Yes, I know,
I just wanted to see you.
A Day of Silence02/15/08A Day of Silence in Free Verse More Like This
I usually could make you smile with just flick of my thoughts.
But today, you said you are not in the mood.
I usually could make you look sideways to see if anyone's looking.
But today, there was only a brief thoughtful smile.
And yet you keep coming to see me.
I hope you know I really can't read minds,
But how I crave to hear everything that's on your mind.
Love is a Fairy Tale Lie01/23/08Love is a Fairy Tale Lie in Free Verse More Like This
My lungs have been tearing in scars from silence.
The rain make creatures even our hearts cannot see.
I have realized the hands I clutch to my chest are anything but empty,
But rippling of love, beauty,
And wonderfully in every way just you.
I have found your heart in my hands,
Precious, intangible love glowing to conflate.
And I hope that you know I will never lose my grasp.
For even the daunting 3:30 dream in the morning of mine,
Has taught me that you can turn a world upside down...
It is a very simple world of gullible honesty,
Of a world that once believed that love,
Is nothing but a fairy tale lie.
Unexpected You06/10/08Unexpected You in Free Verse More Like This
I never expected you to call,
After years of silence,
Heart broken ties.
I never expected you to pretend,
To hear my voice,
Speaking fairy tale lies.
So tease me,
With the smallest of gestures to please,
Irresistable, everlasting touches of you.
My Words02/12/08My Words in Free Verse More Like This
I am walking in a desert of thought,
Thirsting for the end,
Thirsting for you.
I am breathing in a world of blue,
Drowning in sorrow,
Lusting for you.
I am hoping that one day you will see,
My eyes dancing with yours.
And my words,
Less than simply beautifully true.
Whispering Desire02/14/08Whispering Desire in Free Verse More Like This
If you cry,
I would ask you to stay still,
So I can brush your warm tears with a gentle smear of my fingers.
I laughed into your shoulders,
And inhaled your scent as if I didn't know it was a dream.
I realize the distance and time between us,
And that made me smile knowing what a special pair of Valentines we are.