MonsterIs it time for me to go?
I can't stay in your house no more
Sunrise means that I have to leave
Till no one sees
I will slowly disappear
Walking alone behind my own fears
I'm going home
But every night I'm coming here again
To be with you
And dance under star rain
All day I'm sitting in the darkness
Cause I got nothing to say
And no one around to hear me speak
I'll wait when daylight goes away
Cause I'm a night lover, night freak
Thousand years I lived
And finally I found you here
Mysterious night dream
Too bad my heart has no beat
I don't need to breathe
No need to have eyes to see
But how can I feel?
Every night sitting in your house
Watching you're sleeping
Hearing your heart beating
Feeling your breathing
How it could be?
Monster like me is able to feel
It can't be real
No, not me
But still can't take away my eyes of you
While you're sleeping I'm gonna be around
To feel your presence illuminated by full moon
To feel forever I will become a night
Touch and KissTouch and kiss meTouch and Kiss in Free Verse More Like This
Make me fall
Back in love
Touch and kiss me
If you dare
Touch and feel me
If you care
Don't let my heart bleed
Touch and kiss me
I know you're real
Touch and kiss me
To see if I can feel
Make things better
Touch and kill me
To feel forever
Touch and freeze me
Touch and kiss me
Let go my soul
Don't try to take it
I won't let go
But touch and feel me
If you still want
Touch and kiss me
Bite my lips to blood
Touch and feel me
I don't need to know
if you touch me
I need to be kissed
If you feel me
I need to be killed
Nothing to say... Just wanted to sayI can't explainNothing to say... Just wanted to say in Free Verse More Like This
Why do I breathe so hard when you're next to me?
No heart but blood runs so fast in veins of mine.
You cannot see. But you do feel.
Eyes getting colder of one your touch
Though, I'm burning inside. I love you.
Shadows of our bodies hiding the pain that we gained through all of these years, I want you to love me and kiss all of my tears.
No matter how it all starts, no matter how it will end, I just want you to be around me as long as you can.
Interrupted by wind I'm flowing away, my angel, my ghost, my hopelessly endless way, you love me, you're my only key, to doors of my soul that you saved
Happiness of mine, tell me if you want me to die, or maybe I'm already dead?
Is this place a heaven in my mind?
Am I buried into the grave? Is this a sweetest ever end?
Little caged bird, that's what I am.
You're my cage. I love to be in your embrace.
Silence speaks to me so loudly I could scream, your presence tears me up, takes away my dream
Our deepest fears flows fr
RuinsTime to time I do believeRuins in Free Verse More Like This
Time to time I start to live
But she has her own dreams
Her own sins, her own fears
Don't belong to me
Don't lie, don't pretend
I needed time
You gave it to me
But it wasn't mine
And then you left
Misunderstood but well played
Fooled but still alive
All the pain that I gained
Made me fall apart
We tried, we tried so hard
To live, to share, to understand
But what a fail
Ruins that's what I see
Ruins that what's left to me
Forever gone, forever pain
ConfusedI had a beautiful dayConfused in Free Verse More Like This
But then I saw her
And I felt my pain
Felt like I'm falling on the floor
I've seen her eyes
Sad, beautiful eyes
Just those eyes
Looking somewhere behind
But not on me
They don't see
Cold face without any expressions
Body wrapped in dark clothes
Moving fast without any intensions
Though I feel like it's getting slow
Why do I get so emotional?
Why I want to scream?
She's moving away and I'm standing still
I want to stop her
She needs to be happy
I opened my eyes
I turned back to see her walking down the street
Did I just see how my happiness walks by me?
What did I see?
It was a dream
That's what I've seen
Dream in the reality
No way out from this confusion
No way in to this illusion
It's just me seeing you so close
And even more
I'm confused and lost
This is what I call loveloving heartsThis is what I call love in Free Verse More Like This
it's all mine
it's all yours
night with you
sweet little dream
and it's so good
as long as you in me
what do you call love?
emotions what we have inside?
or maybe it's a fall
when we don't have to lie
sweet moments spent with you
minutes of pure pleasure
whatever you got it's all good
but still it's impossible to measure
my songs writen on your skin
it comes from deepest desire
and let me do a little sin
i want to be burned by your fire
we can make love till we are alive
so make love to me
i'm ready to spend time side by side
and it's all i really need
being in love with you
being in love with truth
being in love with whole world
because you are the only one
White words on black wallsI may never askWhite words on black walls in Free Verse More Like This
You may never say
And it's all wrong
White is turning into grey
You played with words
Now they're playing with your mind
Why won't you say?
Why did you left me all alone
I tried to run away
Writing on the black walls
Those simple words I said too much
But not enough
Speak your mind
Speak out loud
I let you drown in your own thoughts
You deserved it all
But I will never say these saving words
I just put them back on those black walls
Thank youDelirious thoughtsThank you in Free Verse More Like This
My memory is my enemy
Scream, scream at me
Not place to find
Where I can be
Moment of death, moment of life
This place isn't real
I'm too broken to fight
Lie, lie to me
Lie to me one more time
Made your decision
Help me to breathe
Give me your hand
And then break me again
Minutes of happiness
Minutes of sorrow
Life full of emptiness
And time that we borrow
Pushed you away
Then whisper your name
Taking new steps
No time for regrets
I'm moving from you
I'm moving for good
I'm saving myself
My soul and my heart
I'm not sure in my future
Not sure in my life
Thank you for giving
Thank you for living
Thank you for loving even not me
I'm not that one what you wanted to see
But thank you for being heart of my life
You made me better, you showed me the light
ConfessionWish I could make it easyConfession in Free Verse More Like This
How can I say about my feelings?
How can I confess?
3 years of silent loving
3 years of patient waiting
Can't believe I'm still standing here
Don't know exactly what waits for me
Foolish me, I tried to fool my heart
Stupid me, useless piece of art
Colors of loving fading so fast
Something is pressing on my chest
What do I want?
What do I deserve?
How can sleep if I'm running from truth
How can I breathe if I'm drowning in you?
No confession at all
You will get it all wrong
Shame on me, shame on my feeling
I'm a love loser
Person without meaning
I want to scream so desperately
I want all to hear my voice
I've waited enough so patiently
And that's it, I made my choice
Why? Why? Why?
I will speak
I will speak out loud
Not easy to say
Not easy to say cause its truth
I would lie if I could
Please forgive me for my confession
But I can't take it anymore
I want to get away from this intension
I want to let it go
Today for tomorrowLive like you gonna die in few secondsToday for tomorrow in Free Verse More Like This
Say what you feel
Don't try to be the best
Just stay yourself
World means nothing to you
And you mean nothing to world
Just live this day
Live today for tomorrow
Never try to stay
Changed happiness into sorrow
But it will change back
Don't get away but attack
If you see sunshine, smile
People often don't see anything in the life
Be happy of what you have
We're getting through today
Living for tomorrow's day
Whatever role you play, you play
If you're dead it doesn't mean world's dead
Never try to understand the end
It won't help
And always till you can
Remember, I'm here my friend
As long as I can breathe
I will always be here
Living today for tomorrow
In life that we borrow
Not fineTonight I said myself, I'm fineNot fine in Free Verse More Like This
I looked into the mirror and tried to smile
Looks good? Still repeating I am fine
I'm going out tonight
I'm going out and again I feel fine
Driving my car, driving so fast
Into the night, leaving my past
Somehow I can hear voice in my head
He's saying - take care
Oh no, forget it
I'm having fun tonight
And I push the pedal, driving faster and faster
And again I can hear a voice
It screams in my head,
I can't ignore
But hell no, I'm not gonna stop
Till car will pull over because of no gas
And I will get sober to see breaking dawn
Sunlight slowly touches me
As I am lying somewhere on the beach
Still hearing your screams
It hurts, it hurts so much
And no, I don't feel fine
I can't pretend
I lied, no I'm not fine
It feels like I've died
Can't stop asking myself why
It screams in my mind
It hurts inside
I don't feel fine
My PassionI want to live my dreamMy Passion in Free Verse More Like This
and consume the pasiion
that consumes me.
I want to exhaust it
and always renew it.
It is my power,
my propelling force.
PerfectWe have something special...Perfect in Free Verse More Like This
When I see you
I want to be lying naked next to you,
and I want you to make love to me,
and when you are making love to me
all I can think of is how much I love you.
We have something special...
When you see me
you want my naked body next to yours,
and you want me to make love to you,
and when I am making love to you
all you can think of is how much you love me.
We have something special...
Pure pleasure and pure love.
The pleasure is intense,
the love is deep and strong.
The perfect combination.
After WorkCome home to me from work,After Work in Free Verse More Like This
after a long and tough day.
Come home to me.
You know that once you pass the threshhold
and you go through the front door
your worries will be gone.
I will make you feel good.
Take off you clothes,
I have already taken off my gown.
Let's sit together on the couch.
Gentle massage I will rub on your back
between your shoulder blades,
your stiff neck.
Let my hands do the work...
Let me relieve the tension of today.
I will rub down your chest
and knead the muscles of your legs.
I will help you stretch
until you loosen up.
I just hope
one part of your body
will get hard...
After so much touching
we will round this up
making sweet and passionate love...
I wait for this moment all day,
for you to come home
to relax in my arms
NamesShe has been calledNames in Free Verse More Like This
by the men
in her life:
Never had anyone called her
TimeI need some of your time.Time in Free Verse More Like This
I need time with you.
Let's spend some time together.
I love the time you are close.
I love you all the time.
The PhotographWill you photograph me?The Photograph in Free Verse More Like This
Will you capture my essence?
Will I be your model, your muse?
I want to pose nude
in front of you.
Will you stand behind the camera?
Why don't you set the camera on the tripod,
press the timer
and stand behind me?
and holding tight,
and loving each other.
Can we seize this moment forever
on a photograph?
Will the lens capture so much love
or will it smash?
No RegretsWandering through lifeNo Regrets in Free Verse More Like This
and our paths crossed.
Do you regret?
You knocked on my door
and I let you in.
Do you regret?
I tempted you
and you were trapped in my net.
Do you regret?
I asked for more
and you gave me your heart.
Do you regret?
You wanted sex
and we made love...
You didn't want to
but you fell for me.
Do you regret?
I don't regret...
Starts PouringRaindrops fall downStarts Pouring in Free Verse More Like This
as the blood starts to pour
Screaming in pain
wondering what is wrong
Blood pouring down
on the arms that are numb
Tears start to fall
but no one can hear them...
a pool full of blood
Tears start to fall
as I cry to myself
and unwanted in this world..
Blood pours from the eyes
raindrops pour from the sky
No one will know why
No one will care....
The tears start to crash around me
But no one will notice
The scars on her arms
will make the pain of life...
Leave this WorldI will slit my wristsLeave this World in Free Verse More Like This
to watch the blood fall to the floor
to end my life for good
and nobody cry a single tear
I will leave this world
pretend that I never existed
This life dont need me no more
I am better off gone from this world
I will slit my wrists
to ease the pain
I can't take the crying
I can't take this pain
There is no hope in this world
There is no reason to live
I will leave this world for good
Maybe someday I will be reborn
I maybe FineI may seem fineI maybe Fine in Free Verse More Like This
I may seem okay
under this fake smile
under this mask
I may not hurt
I may pretend
but deep down
the pain is burden within me
that won't go away
I may seem okay
I may seem fine
the pain hurts more then you think
But it's okay
I am fine
with this fake smile
No need to worry
No need to be hurt
cause I am fine
without showing the pain
I maybe fine
I maybe smiling
but behind this mask
is the pain you will never see
Darken world i live inLiving in this darken worldDarken world i live in in Free Verse More Like This
a world full of hate
a world full of horrible people
No one that will understand
and no one that cares
A darken life i live in
where i dont fear many things
i think blood fascinates me
and i love going and laying down in the graveyard at night
Looking up at the stars
A world so dark
a world full of hate
no one will understand
what this life brought me here
why i am the way i am
Nobody truly understands
the morbid life i live in
the life full of dark
where there is no light
a life full of hate
Where i love my black
and black clothes
a world i feel invisible
is this darken world i live in
My darken soul
and darken fears
this world i dont belong
a world i dont like
Is this darken world i live in...
Forever I'll love youNo where to runForever I'll love you in Free Verse More Like This
No where to hide
Loving you so much
but missing you more
... No more tears falling
Just the pain inside
Missing you so much
and dreaming of seeing you
Staring into your eyes
And knowing all the emotions you have
Missing you like crazy
But loving you more
Forever my eyes will see
My ears will hear
And my heart will speak
Forever I'll love you
Prevent suicide poemDeep inside it truly hurtsPrevent suicide poem in Free Verse More Like This
when all people do is ruin your life
When you are left with nothing
but painful memories
thinking that there will be good in life
And in the end you are left with nothing
Deep inside you truly want to cry
when you fear of losing people that you care about
All the painful memories
that you have lost
and in the end it meant nothing at all
Deep inside you are about to break down
and all you have is yourself to bring you back up
No hope to go on
and no hope in life
burden these memories
That will haunt you in your life
But in the end there is truly hope
when you feel like breaking down
Just think what will happen
when you are gone from this world
Would people actually miss you
or cry when you are no longer here?
Think back to all the people that cared
Who has helped you in your life
Cause it is true
you are not alone
There are people that are willing to help you
Just think and remember
that ev everybody is loved
By at least ONE person in their life <3
Feelings..Feeling the need to cryFeelings.. in Free Verse More Like This
every deadly tear
Feeling so alone
in this cruel world
The past is coming back
where i was hurt as always
Feeling the need to cry
and disappear for good
No end to this misery
but the need to cry
Feeling the pain
deep inside me
No end to this depression
No need to be here
Feeling the need to cry
and leave this world for good...
Deep inside your eyesFeeling of finding the oneDeep inside your eyes in Free Verse More Like This
every look, every whisper
gazing into your eyes
is now for eternity
The gorgeous eyes you have
I cant help but stare into them
How did I find the perfect one?
The one that truly loves me
I can see you a mile away
crying in happiness
smiling at finding the one
in my life
I look into your eyes
when you are right beside me
Knowing that you care
knowing that you love me
I keep looking deep into your eyes
which hides the truth deep down
That you are the one
my one and only
as I look deep inside your eyes
and lost for all eternity
InsecurityWeak, insecure, mistakeInsecurity in Free Verse More Like This
Hurt, emotional, not wanted
Left with no hope
Left with the pain
Not pretty enough
no hope to move on
Want to be cared for
want to love
Not beautiful enough
get blamed for everything
judged all the time
no pretty enough
left with the pain inside
in this cruel world
Mistaken, insecure, weak
Not wanted, not perfect
Just wanting to be PERFECT
My best friend....I thought you were my friendMy best friend.... in Free Verse More Like This
I thought you cared about me
but why didnt you say goodbye
when you deleted me from everything?
I thought you would always be there
I thought you cared
but what happened
that you deleted me from your life?
Did I do something wrong?
Did I say anything?
Did I hurt you
what did I do wrong?
I thought you were my best friend
I thought you cared about me
but I guess it was a lie
Do you even understand
are you even my friend?
Or was it a lie
all the time....
Give Me Your PainWhen i see you sufferGive Me Your Pain in Free Verse More Like This
I can't help but wish
Wish I can take it away
Place my hand on your shoulder
Let your pain channel from you to me
Take your pain away
Make it my own
To spare you
Spare you of what you don't deserve
Let me suffer
So that you may breath easy
The weight on the world no longer upon you
But on me now
I'll bare all of this
Just to see you smile
A smile worth all this anguish
I ask for nothing in return
Just for you to be happy
Love i would cherish more than anything
That would be all i ask
I love you
Care for you
I wish i can take this pain from you
Deserve to BleedYour words spread like wild fireDeserve to Bleed in Free Verse More Like This
Attacking my bruised heart
Wrenching havoc on my tears
Destroying my petite wrists
They echo like thunder in my ears
It is a constant reminder
Of how I am not worth it
That I am selfish
That I am weak
That I am cowardly
And how I am meant to be alone
That if love ever dares to find me again
I should be crushed like all the times before
But what struck me hardest
Weren't the blows to my being
But how you said I deserve to bleed
Cutters LullabyShh, its alright you can fix your heart tonightCutters Lullaby in Free Verse More Like This
Its better he's gone, feed your self that lie
Don't sit helplessly like a broken butterfly
You'll gain control through blood and knife
Etch it in, show your still alive
Make it fresh show your inner pain
Walk along the horrid memory lane
See it heal, watch it slowly fade
Let him go with the scars you made
Go to sleep with a heavy heart
Wish to be taken in from the dark
Nightmares creep in your head
Drown in self-drawn blood want to be dead
Awake the next day, hurt and torn
Same condition as the night before
May I have this dance?I never seen a heart left unbrokenMay I have this dance? in Free Verse More Like This
Or eyes that never cried
Not a nightmare left unawakened
In this town of lies
But don't fret,I've hidden all the knives
Just let me take your hand,might I ask
If I may have this dance
For the rest of our lives
Just be happy
Cross your fingers and breath
Take the world off your shoulders
I swear I'll never leave.
Let the regrets disappear
It's all far from us now
For once I'll watch you smile
Forget the cold hearted town
DreamingClosed eyelids flutter openDreaming in Free Verse More Like This
The dream slipping through my fingers once more
A smile crept onto the corners of my lips
And i lay for a moment and i recall
The happy memories flood my mind
Sweet images from the previous night
It was such a perfect fantasy
Complete with love and happiness
From beginning to end it was utter bliss
I fling the blankets off my self
Trying to prepare for the days events
The contrast from night to day
From dream to nightmare
I yearn for it to become true
One day they will become real
And my imagination will set me free
Water Colored TearsOur tears are water colorsWater Colored Tears in Free Verse More Like This
Running down our cheeks
Caressing our skin like rain
Some speak out
Yelling our stories
Other are silent
Streaming for unknown reasons
They can be lonely
Threatening to spill
As a single tear that escapes
And soft scar patterned arm
Wiping away the pain
Last thing through my headI remember carving our names into that treeLast thing through my head in Free Verse More Like This
But the tree broke, just like you did to me
The day you left me there alone
So i carved your name into myself
Because you could never take that away
But not soon after the scars faded
And i was left alone once more
So now i carve your name
Into this bullet
And you will be the last thing
To go through my head
Moving onReading old messagesMoving on in Free Verse More Like This
And feeling like a fool
Wiping away stinging tears
Which i shouldn't shed in the first place
Because now isn't then,now i am happy
Yet i can't say i wasn't before
Despite the fact of things i endured
I know i just have to move myself forward
I will not break him, i will not ruin us
I will smile.
Unheard WordsIm not going to have another one way fight with you tonightUnheard Words in Free Verse More Like This
Because you just can't hear my tear filled screams
Or maybe its because you don't want to take notice to me
Im guaranteed to choke on my own anger and pain
Before you ever realize anything is out of the ordinary
Or could me suffering for loving you the new "Normal"?
I couldn't hate you even after a million fights
Ive shed tears and blood all the same for you
Your etched into my skin, your part of me
Scars yell out your name in hope for an answer
I just wished that someday you might listen
Because of youBecause of you....Because of you in Free Verse More Like This
Im hideous. Imperfections stare at me, mocking my reflection.
Everything you ever liked about me,
every little feature is a disfigured monstrosity dignifyed by your words.
Even the scars, which once left me feeling relived and in control, are a disgrace.
If only I meant just a little bit more to you..
Love AgainHear my worries, fear my criesLove Again in Free Verse More Like This
Dread the whispered lullabies
Drown beneath the spinning skies
Feel the truth you can't deny
Taste the blood upon your tongue
Feel the poison fill your lungs
I am she who lies among
Those who know where things belong
Feel the weapons kiss your skin
Listen to the screeching wind
See my power, watch me win
And never fall in love again
Forbidden LoveA look, a smile from across the room,Forbidden Love in Free Verse More Like This
Was the only way their love could bloom.
The love they had was forbidden,
And, therefore, needed to be hidden.
Star-crossed lovers is what they were,
But he couldn't stop from loving her.
Her eyes, her smile, her loving way
Will, in the end, be a dying bouquet...
UndiscoveredPerfect little innocent, I do apologizeUndiscovered in Free Verse More Like This
Never did I mean to tell them of your many lies
Lovely tortured baby doll, if only you could see
Truly, I am struggling to set your worries free
Dear beloved wonder, how I wish that you could see
All the wounds that were not there have slowly murdered me
Forget YouWhy can't I forget about you?Forget You in Free Verse More Like This
It's the hardest thing I've tried to do.
Your eyes, your smile, your laugh,
I've tried to forget them on your behalf.
You know I just can't help myself,
The one to blame is thyself.
For you are truly wonderful,
But to forget you would be beautiful.
Magic Wandshe'll never be the beauty queen, she'll never be the angel,Magic Wand in Free Verse More Like This
sent from heaven down to earth to save the world and never,
never will she see the day when all has gotten better,
'cause if she can't be what she's dreaming nothing's worth forever,
she thinks her life is pointless nothing special does she see ,
consumed by dark thoughts of how easy it would be
disregarding what they say that she is worth it all,
so the magic wand becomes a knife and so she falls...
ApologiesKiss my forehead gently with your lips of flaming snowApologies in Free Verse More Like This
Hold my hand with bloody skin and never let me go
Sing a broken lullaby with whispers in my ear
Breathe with breaths of carelessness, with cruelty wipe my tears
Take the shining blade that lies upon the shadowed floor
Bring it slowly to my flesh and speak your words once more
Watch my helpless struggle as your wrongness you undo
And leave me there to die, longing to say I love you too
Judgmental StaresCommunication, dying, falling, fading into dustJudgmental Stares in Free Verse More Like This
Wishing I could tell them of the pain from their disgust
The hateful glares, judgmental stares, because they are all yet to learn
Ignoring the fact that making them hear is something I must earn
They disapprove of my disabilities, the things I cannot control
They treat me like I'm a monster, allowing the shadows to swallow me whole
If only they would realize that I'm not to blame nor hate
Simply, I'm a victim, unable to communicate
You Love Me?You say that you love me,You Love Me? in Free Verse More Like This
But do you know the true meaning?
Love is not jealous,
Does not become provoked.
It bears all things,
Believes all things,
Hopes all things,
Endures all things.
Love never fails.
Knowing this, I ask you now,
Can you really say, that you love me?
VenomCome a little closer; let me whisper in your earVenom in Free Verse More Like This
Let me tell you something you were never meant to hear
Never tell another, never let the truth appear
Never let them find the things so close, so real, so near
Statements made of venom slip away from poisoned lips
Reaching for the power, feel it touch your fingertips
Watching as the thread I hang my very life on rips
Every thought of laughter causes my heart to eclipse
Come a little closer and look down upon my skin
See the person everybody wished I could have been
Feel the endless torture that poured out from deep within
Taste the air around you, drenched in every broken sin
Listen to my screams, oh, listen closely to my cries
Search for every nightmare lying down upon the skies
Treasure with your very soul the truth behind my eyes
And cradle your existence with the blood of my goodbyes
MommyThe sun melted into the glamorous skyMommy in Free Verse More Like This
The moon stood there, hidden by sweet lullabies.
But mommy was crying, her day had been hard
The tears in her eyes twinkled just like the stars.
Her face wasn't happy like it should have been
And though she was saddened, she forcefully grinned.
I wanted to see Mommy smile through it all...
I painted a picture on her bedroom walls.
I told her to look, just to come in and see
But Mommy was angry... she wasn't happy.
She threw me down hard on the cold wooden floor
Then picked me up, slamming my head on the door.
She yelled and she screamed, then she hit me once more
She slapped me till I couldn't see anymore.
My heart then stopped beating, my laugh went unheard
Then Mommy got up without saying a word.
She looked at the walls splattered with my young blood
Then fell to the ground in her tears with a thud.
She looked at my face, then she looked all around
Then wrote on the walls with the first thing she found.
Then, after she finished, she wanted self h
Nothing I Say Sinks InWatching your friends crack around youNothing I Say Sinks In in Free Verse More Like This
And feeling guilty for the happiness you possess.
Maybe it's better to continue to hurt
And not have to blame yourself for their unrest.
I constantly told you how much you mattered
And that falling apart wouldn't fix your mess.
In the end my words didn't sink in
And I'm tired of my words wasted and useless.
Continue down the path you're following
And whine that nobody ever cared, nevertheless.
When you realize your only friend left you
You'll be lost as I can only guess.
My LifeI refuse to let you stealMy Life in Free Verse More Like This
One more moment of my time.
I'm going to take my life
And make it solely mine.
Run AwayYou tore the words out of my mouthRun Away in Free Verse More Like This
And I begged for you to stay.
You threw confessions to the wind;
I couldn't love you anyway.
HateLoveI Hate you nowHateLove in Free Verse More Like This
I Hate you never
I Love you not
I Love you forever
The Train On The TracksThe wind is a hollow song,The Train On The Tracks in Free Verse More Like This
Despair dances through the air;
Staring down the tracks,
I've lost all proper flair.
The timing is flawless,
Still, I can't be sure;
The train roars like thunder,
As it skids across the moor.
Feet are planted roots,
As the distance turns to lights;
Eyes widden and blood pulses,
Huge pupils around whites.
Its only a temporary tingle,
Where one would expect pain;
I'm met with a warm darkness,
But there is no moon to wane.
Won't you miss the trees,
And sky and breath? They said;
Don't you know what you're doing?
It won't all be in your head.
But as I watched that train approach,
My hope and heart wouldn't bend;
It only matter what I thought of myself,
Surrender was not the end.
MisunderstoodHere's to the girlsMisunderstood in Free Verse More Like This
Who at night cannot sleep, and
Here's to the boys
Too shy to weep.
Here's to the tears
Much too often shed, and
Here's to the days
More bright up ahead.
A Slip, A Stumble BackI've watched you walk away from me.A Slip, A Stumble Back in Free Verse More Like This
I've lost you to the world.
Memories make me choke and gag.
My heart had withered and curled.
Emotions change as the weather does.
Sometimes depression is such a choke-hold.
Other times my heart sings with a promise,
But often it blows cold.
I hate you now with all my heart,
Because of the effect you can still have on me.
Occasionally I slip and tumble deep,
But more often now I'm free.
A Habit of Old Memories You develop this habit of missing someone. You train your heart to want them, to need them, and to wonder constantly where they are, when you'll be seeing them again.A Habit of Old Memories in Emotional More Like This
And then one day you can't have that notion of missing them any longer. The right has been snatched away and you're left trying to explain to your heart why it can no longer feel what it has been trained to emote.
That's when all the dreams featuring you began.
You became absent from my life, most permanently I had feared by the time I realized you were serious. That suddenly life was serious, this wasn't a game you could win.
So you appeared in my dreams. Not lead roles, just flashes of the you I once knew. This was the way my heart coped with the signal to miss you.
Lean On YouHow could I lean on a shoulder,Lean On You in Free Verse More Like This
Already sagging from the weight of the world?
StruggleI struggle for the words,Struggle in Free Verse More Like This
To say how I feel,
But this emotion is unreal to me,
And tell me if I'm wrong,
Is it right for this love to be set free.
It's a struggle for me to speak,
To emote this dark desire,
How I long to be by your side,
Just to sit there and see you smile,
But all I want to do is run and hide.
It's the struggle to be known,
To be seen by you,
Why can't I be braver,
And if I could stand a little straighter,
My mood would be that much less graver.
PhoenixThe Phoenix rises from rust,Phoenix in Free Verse More Like This
As angels lament on lyres,
Eyes pierce from penitent pyres,
From without a ghostly gust,
Does the Phoenix revitalise.
The Phoenix serenades under sun,
As demons chant in clairvoyance,
Feathers arrayed from aerial annoyance,
By the barrel of a giant's gun,
Does the Phoenix realise.
The Phoenix arrives from ashes,
As banshees scream in solitude,
Talons grip from gratuitous gratitude,
Flesh from brittle bone it slashes,
Does the Phoenix revive.
The Phoenix departs from death,
As spirits harangue the heathen,
Beak so bloody bereaves the brethren,
As time falls like a lonely leaf,
Does the Phoenix reside.
I amI am the wind,I am in Free Verse More Like This
I am the flame,
I am the water,
I am the eruption,
That you cannot tame.
I am the sacrifice,
I am the martyr,
I am the blessing,
I am the curse,
Of your massive disaster.
I am the devotion,
I am the commotion,
I am the motion,
I am the emotion,
That feasts upon your notion.
I am your dreams,
I am your nightmares,
I am your embrace,
I am your reaper,
Of your worries and cares.
Ghost EyesStop looking at me,Ghost Eyes in Free Verse More Like This
Why can't you just leave me be?
I'm haunting these silent streets,
In the cool air of twilight,
And I'm hiding in plain sight.
Stop looking at me,
Why can't I just be free?
I'm plaguing this calm city,
With the wind of dark despair,
And I'm ignoring your plastic stare.
UndergroundI feel cold creeping hands,Underground in Free Verse More Like This
Dragging me down,
Into the fires of the underground.
All I hear is the screeching sound,
Of heroes wearing funeral frowns.
I feel warm probing fingers,
Across my skin,
And my, how they seem to linger.
I'm petrified of this demonic danger,
Of seraphim pretending to sin
I feel hot sweating palms,
Touching my face,
Brushing across lips as I stay calm.
Now I fear they'll sense my alarm,
Of angels insulting grace.
What Happened...What happened to you,What Happened... in Free Verse More Like This
What happened to me,
Is something no one will ever see.
Don't go and leave me behind,
You'll only drive me blind.
What happened to me,
What happened to you,
Is more than the love of a fool.
Don't leave and go away,
I'll only miss you more each day.
What happened to us,
What happened to them,
Is nothing but an ignorant dream.
Don't run away from the pain,
We'll find bliss: I hope again.
The Girl In A TeardropThere sits a shattered girl,The Girl In A Teardrop in Free Verse More Like This
Imprisoned in her tormented tears,
Wishing she hadn't wasted her youthful years,
Looking for her one true pearl,
Who never showed his flawless face.
There weeps a sad girl,
Reflecting her mask in the mirror,
Seeing her self becoming thinner and thinner,
And now she sees the echoes of her age,
Guiding her back from her heartbroken mind.
There breathes a sorrowful girl,
Staring out of her sweet nectar sobs,
Hoping to escape from her self-infliction,
But what is out there for her to find?
Except a dawn of despair and dereliction.
The HazeI hurt like you could not believe,The Haze in Free Verse More Like This
I see pain in a passages unforeseen,
Optical oracles do ponder and perceive,
History in it's present course they glean,
As lesions linger across my face.
In so much fire I cannot be deceived,
Furious flames dance around my soul,
Poison in blood stream is conceived,
Eradicating all my beauty so foul,
Now tears scar the essence of this place.
Insidious icons linger in my veins,
As ghouls ascend from neglected graves,
Demons descend labyrinths of the sane,
As spirits of the soul turn into slaves,
I die before I can sing harrowing is the haze.
© James Nankervis August 27th 2011
Love EquilibriumThey say hate can kill,Love Equilibrium in Free Verse More Like This
But maybe love can as well?
If you were so enthralled with lust,
Would you hurt those,
Who turned your heart to dust?
They say hate does you no good,
But perhaps love never really could?
If you were touched by happiness,
Would you defend those,
Who showed you heaven no less?
They say hate will die,
But surely they know love can lie?
If you were haunted by fear,
Would you seek those,
Who helped you each and every year?
So I amI feel deadSo I am in Free Verse More Like This
and the tree outside my window,
says I am,
so I must be.
I like lillies to bloom in winter
and for the sun to live in the clouds,
so as not to burn my skin
or leave me in the cold.
This morning I forgot to breathe,
as I woke up, I choked.
It was not unpleasent,
I was just surprised.
You could not feel the moisture
on my face
as it began to rain because,
I feel dry
and the weatherman said it was,
so it must have been,
so I am.
FadeYou hold me closerFade in Free Verse More Like This
because you know I'm fading.
My eyes glaze over
as I slip away.
I close them
to bring back the feeling.
I hold you tighter,
but I think I'm nothing.
No Other WayYou were never here to see meNo Other Way in Free Verse More Like This
but petrified decay floating
on waters of a life not seen enough days.
A life within a life, I believe will soon end.
It is not good enough to want to love.
You are not a far cry from your mothers nest
and it is not good enough to want to be sorry.
In the life of the lovers doomed to fail,
I see no other way out but to hate
but in the life of lovers scared of pain,
I see no other way.
Reflections of Self-LoathingI took apart my reflection and left the empty pieces in the bathroom sink, maybe a clensing is what I need.Reflections of Self-Loathing in Emotional More Like This
Two weeks on, there is no more blood to wash away the fear and agony and the mirror I mean to break, remains untouched on the bathroom wall, perhaps as a reminder that I am still here, where else would I have been.
I know that not all of what I see is real but I think enough of it is to worry me senseless.
That is what I am afterall, senseless.
My senses are in the bathroom sink, waitng to be washed away.
Just like me.
Enough to Live ForMy vow is meaningless while the possiblity of tragedy remains, (if such a thing is indeed tragic)but still I must say it so that you know that I want what you want, not what you think I will do.Enough to Live For in Emotional More Like This
This is not a life anybody would choose but such a death would make it pointless, worthless, a waste.
I do not want to become an accident but I don't want my life either.
I want what you want
something good, something new.
Only In My HeadI am flesh and blood.Only In My Head in Haiku & Eastern More Like This
The darkness can not touch me.
It is in my head.
The White ScarfYour questions begin. I can't look at you, I don't want to see what you're thinking. I stare at my white scarf, resting on my lap instead.The White Scarf in Stories & Vignettes More Like This
Your probing questions continue. I don't want to answer that. I push you away in my head. I know the scarf was machine made, but as I concentrate on each stitch I can see it being knitted.
I can feel you watching me, waiting for an answer. I tell you I don't know. I don't like the question why?
The next question, I answer but I say too much. I blush and avoid eye contact.
Each fold of the scarf is suddenly facinating.
Questions, questions, questions.
White is calming, don't you think?
Restless MindsFeelings never settle, like butterflies, I feel them flutter. I am restless as I tap my foot,tap, tap, flutter tap. My impatience shows; for what, I don't know.Restless Minds in Emotional More Like This
My pen can only work as fast as my mind, but my head is too full of wings and scraps and lies, no room for thought.
Tap, Tap, Flutter, Tap
I could calm down if I wanted to, but the price is too high, the sacrifice too much,the ink so near its end. I resist even if the effort is wasted on such a struggle.
But in the end I don't want to, if only to never hear just, tap, tap, tap.
PainkillerCaffine poisons the system.Painkiller in Free Verse More Like This
I keep my eyes open
to stop the dreams.
Waterproof mascara never lasts.
I paint my face
to cover the shadows.
A balanced diet is key.
I will drown
if I eat
Knives are dangerous.
I need them
to feel calm
One should not see their own blood.
I need the pain
to feel okay.
You must clean the wounds.
This is were we agree
For now anyway.
Anti-SepticA life line has been thrown,Anti-Septic in Free Verse More Like This
I need not show my marks.
The tension eases slightly,
the calm in the storm.
I have not yet settled
on how I feel.
If emotion is blue, like water,
I will drown.
I can not grasp
what nothing must be like,
but if I do not feel
then there must be nothing there.
I lie here now
hoping the day gets better
any movement from me
would only bring grief.
But if somebody else stepped in
and took the controls for a bit,
I could sleep awhile
and forget today ever happened.
Nicht Ohne Sie....I don't know how to start this...Nicht Ohne Sie. in Songs & Lyrics More Like This
Just knowing that you're leaving casts my heart into darker shadows
Love has always been, for me, an uphill struggle and losing battles
It's like a book without an ending, you took my heart out of it's cage
And I don't want to put it back cause I don't want to turn this page...
If I could find me a miracle that could write us another chapter
I wouldn't hesitate a second cause I want this forever after
But life isn't a happy ending, there's not always light after dark
The only thing that breaks the silence is the sound of my breaking heart
This life will never be the same, without you here beside me
I can already feel the pain, as it's welling up inside me
It's neither of our faults, that our hearts were bound by fate
I just want to let you know, this is my favorite mistake
I'd do absolutely anything if it meant we'd have more time
I would stop this ticking clock and I would force it to rewind
Cause at the end of every day I wish so
Hear Me NowI'm still, hereHear Me Now in Free Verse More Like This
Begging, for relief from misery
I'm still, here
Crying, cause it took what's left of me
And I lock myself inside my heart
Hide away inside the dark
That's taken over
I look in your eyes
But there's nothing to see
Nothing except pain
Staring back at me
(I'm begging, I'm crying)
I'm still, here
Burning, from all the mistakes I ever made
I'm still, here
Trying, to make all those mistakes just go away
And I lock you outside of my heart
So you can't see me fall apart
I'm getting colder
I fall to my knees
And scream so loud
But nothing seems
To make a sound
(I'm burning, I'm trying)
I'm left alone again somehow
It's something my heart won't allow
Again I'm here, I scream so loud
Can you hear me now?
Cowards Way OutDid you really think,Cowards Way Out in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
That taking the cowards way out,
Would prove anything,
Except all of our worst fears?
Did you even think,
About the ones that you have now?
And the pain that you'd bring,
If you were to leave them all here...?
Do you really think,
You're life is just so horribly unbearable,
That you need to take this knife,
And do something you know is terrible?!
How many times,
Have I told you it isn't worth it?
How selfish of you,
To expect your life to be picture perfect.
Since You've Been GoneYou take my hand and you whisper to me,Since You've Been Gone in Songs & Lyrics More Like This
"Darling, I love you and I promise I'll never leave..."
I look to you and without missing a single beat,
I say, "You were my missing piece, now I'm finally complete."
An involuntary smile spreads out across your lips,
And I can't help but smile as I lean in to taste your kiss...
Then the frame stops and it's stuck on this same scene;
My nights have been so haunted with the recurrence of this dream.
I always hope that I'll wake up and this dream will become true,
But I'm so tired of only dreaming...
Darling, I miss you...
And since you've been gone I've been wasting away,
Just trying to find meaning in every day,
I know that I won't, but I try anyway,
I just hope you'll come back and I hope that you'll stay...
Since you've been gone I've been all on my own,
Trying so hard not to pick up the phone,
'Cause your voice always helps me to not feel so alone,
But since you've been gone that's all that I've known...
(Since you've bee
Please Come Home...I've not grown used to this...Please Come Home... in Free Verse More Like This
I'm not used to being alone...
And I've had enough of it...
For too long I've been without you...
I have so much to say...
Will I ever get the chance...?
I long for our forever...
To stay lost in our romance...
And I've not grown used to this!
I'm not used to being alone!
I miss our everything!
Won't you please, come
I miss our everything...
The warmth of your embrace...
The way you'd hold me...
The way you made me feel safe...
I long to feel you once more...
And taste the sweet of your kiss...
I want how it was just before...
We were seperated like this...
Cause I'll not get to used to it!
Used to you being gone!
And I miss our everything!
Won't you please, Darling,
Won't you -please- come
HurricaneI don't really knowHurricane in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
How all of this came to be
When I already know
She can do better than me
I feel like she's the desert
And whenever I hold her hand
I realize that makes me
Nothing more than a grain of sand
I can't help but ask myself
How is it that she's with me?
I'm just a mess when I'm alone
And I'm fucking up constantly
In every way, shape, and form
Like the calm of the night
Or like the eye of a storm
(And if that storm were to break...)
I always have the thought
That if people were rain
l would be just a drop
And she'd be the hurricane...
I'll Get To You..I see you standing thereI'll Get To You.. in Free Verse More Like This
I know you're fighting back the tears
You think that no one cares
And that nobody ever hears
Your silent cries
(Your asking why)
Your quiet lies
You stand aside and so alone
I wish that you had only known
That it's not fair please dry your tears
I'll always be the one right here
To hush your cries
(To answer why)
To make things right
(To say you're fine)
I see that you're still by yourself
And you still stand with no one else
But even though I'm not right there
Please don't think that I don't care
Because I do
(And this I swear)
I'll get to you
(No matter where...)
ConflictionWas it your intentionConfliction in Free Verse More Like This
To never mention
Any of these confessions
So easily torn
With another wave
Of broken redemption
A matter of contradiction
And worse, inhibitions
Of the heart
Tell you the truth
And watch you fall apart
Or keep the lie a secret
Hidden in the dark
Complete and utter destruction
Of something that was still
When you can wake up
To the sensation
In a self created isolation
Open WoundsWhen you tell me I'm worth nothing, this isn't news to me.Open Wounds in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
On the surface I look fine 'cause it's inside that I'm suffering.
Trying to find a way to possibly numb the pain...
Trying to break the chains, but these efforts are all in vain.
Maybe if my heart just suddenly stopped beating,
It wouldn't hurt this much and I'd get over this empty feeling...
If I could stop the rain from pouring down from the sky,
Would you be glad I'm alive? Would you finally be satisfied?
So much of me is wasted trying to be your perfect.
Even when it works you make me feel like it isn't worth it.
How can you expect I'll want to try again soon,
When all I ever get are more reasons for open wounds?
I may say that it's okay but It's 'cause I don't know what to do,
When you stand here in front of me and breathe lies like they're truth.
You tell me every little thing that you think that I want to hear,
But little do you know your words are falling upon deaf ears.
So you push me away and pretend that I don't exis
Hurts Like HeavenOh. My.Hurts Like Heaven in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
God, it hurts like heaven;
Longing for all your affection,
Every bit of your attention,
You're a divine intervention.
In this life that's turned to hell.
I can't help it when I reminisce,
In moments that are just like this,
I remember when we had our kiss,
And now how much I really miss,
The times when we weren't separated,
Were the best memories that I've created,
To reunite is long awaited,
I feel like I'm incarcerated,
In my own personal hell.
I can't help it when I think of you...
I hope one day we'll say "I do."
But for now I have to struggle through,
Until the day I get to you...
It won't be long, love, I know we'll be fine...
So, darling, stay strong and keep your hand held in mine...
I'll never let you go and I'll always make amends...
I'll hold on to you forever, or until forever ends...