On Gender Crisis: It gets better.I was born female.On Gender Crisis: It gets better. in Emotional More Like This
I have all the female pieces.
My life was lived in denial of my emotions; a blur of pain, scars, blood, pill bottles, good times...and the opposite.
When I was younger, it was all too confusing for me to focus.
Sometimes I'd forget to breathe.
Sometimes I'd pass out from the crushing anxiety.
I don't blame my 'confusion' on my upbringing. I was born this way.
I was gay. I love a woman.
I was straight. I love a woman.
The very same woman.
I will always love my Sora. Not for one second of my life will I ever stop breathing for her. Ever stop thinking for her. Ever stop creating .for her.
She is worth my world; and more.
I'm stumped now. Between two seemingly obvious options.
I can't see why it matters. But our world seems to function around pronouns and sexist ideals.
I'm not here to declare my gender.
Because I firmly believe I do not have one, and do not need one.
I have said myself to be transgender in the past, but I discover now; tha
Waste.You are a waste of creation,Waste. in Free Verse More Like This
For you made the decision,
to be gay.
How dare you betray me.
Don't you dare look this way.
You are in the wrong.
What a disappointment you are.
You read the Good Word.
You try your hardest to live God's way.
Following your heart,
Is the wrong way to go.
How dare you try to be happy.
Your sin is so horrid.
Not even God could forgive.
For you love another woman.
You are better off dead.
Praying won't save.
Living as a Christian won't matter.
It's not like you stole or committed murder.
There is no accepting,
For the thing that you are.
Just A Phase... Maybe Not.This might be a phase,Just A Phase... Maybe Not. in Free Verse More Like This
It'll only last a week,
Just like anything else,
It will surly pass.
I'll go back to living,
Life I thought I hated.
That's just a phase,
Just be a little curious.
That's what all my friends say.
They make me think,
That what they say is true.
That I'm not suppose to be this way;
Its just a quick phase of life,
That will lead me down that right way.
They might be right,
I might be wrong.
But there's one problem
With this just being a phase.
But with years of lying about it,
With years of hiding myself.
I know this isn't just a phase.
Its something much to real.
RememberingThe worst part is remembering.Remembering in Free Verse More Like This
Remembering the feel of his shirt,
the sound of his laugh,
the roll of his eyes when Michelle Bachman opens her mouth,
the security of his embrace,
the warmth of his unique love,
the fact that he misses me too.
That's the killer.
I Love a BoyEvery part of me wants him.I Love a Boy in Free Verse More Like This
Body and Soul
ache for the unattainable.
His soft golden hair whispers
His deep blue eyes implore
I long for his touch.
Being near him, without being with him
I will roll over and see his smile,
blissfully content as mine.
I TriedI did my damnedest to forgetI Tried in Free Verse More Like This
about the way he made me feel.
That, uh-holy amalgamation of
sickness and happiness
I had come to call
I tried so hard,
so hard to get over
that remarkable beauty.
Those compassionate eyes,
that trim physique,
have stayed with me.
Against my will,
to love him.
Midnight Ravings of Love and LossI feel nothing.Midnight Ravings of Love and Loss in Free Verse More Like This
I have no reason to go to sleep in the evening,
I have no reason to get up in the morning.
He did this.
He changed me.
He was at the center of the best moment of my young life
and when everything I knew came crashing down, with him to blame
he helped me rebuild.
His soft voice and vulgar humor sustained me.
His eyes, his hair, his body seduced me.
His laugh, his mere existence brought me happiness
I owe him everything.
He changed me.
He was my reason to go to sleep in the evening,
He was the reason to get up in the morning.
He was my world.
He forced me to feel
He made me feel love
Even if it was all one sided,
he made me feel.
I'm sure I'll miss those feelings
I know I'll miss him.
But, right now, I can't tell.
I feel nothing.
EpiphanyI'm pointlessly sitting in the bitter windEpiphany in Free Verse More Like This
goosebumps all over
thinking to myself
it would be worth it
if i was keeping him warm.
The World I Want To Live InI want to live in a world where no one has to come out. I want nobody to ever have to go through that emotional and physical torture. I want there to be no reason to come out. Because in this new world, it wouldn't matter! Nobody would care who another person loves, because it's love and none of their business!The World I Want To Live In in Emotional More Like This
I want to live in a world where no one cares. I want apathy, not acceptance. Because, there's no need for acceptance because there's no chance of rejection! There's nothing wrong with it, so rejection and persecution are logically ruled out. I don't want to hear this dialogue ever again "I'm gay." "Good for you!" Good for you? You don't hear "good for you" for being born with hazel eyes or being heterosexual. Honestly, there is no difference, stop perpetuating one! It's just like when a little kid gets hurt, you don't tell the kid they're hurt, because if you did, they would freak out. If we never recognize it as a difference, then there won't be one! Everybody is the
I Said ItThe words flew out,I Said It in Free Verse More Like This
after years of denial,
repression and prayer.
A warm chill consumed my person,
as much as a contradiction as I feel.
I gasped at what I had done.
Why did I do it?
Why did I tell HIM??
Why am I even asking these questions?
For the first time in years,
I feel good.
I want to shout it from the top of this little town
and yet I feel more repressed than ever.
I realize the consequences of my actions,
of my words.
Third ChildThird child, feels like a mistake.Third Child in Free Verse More Like This
Parents care more about boxed wine,
than the gold star on the fridge.
Choir concerts, unattended.
Try to fill the void with rebellion.
Desperate to hear those coveted words from
Lays in a different stranger's apartment every night,
cries in vain,
Needs a daddy.
Alien Spirits: IntroLow and mournful, the cry whispered through my half-open window, carrying with it a dozen memories of Halloween and bad horror films. Glancing to my side, I saw Tree sleeping peacefully, eyes closed, breathing even; if the midnight song hadn't woken my slumbering spouse, there was a chance it meant nothing, that the large bird calling from the woods at the edge of our garden was just another lonely soul looking for company. But even as I slipped from beneath the autumn quilt, I knew better. Tree is brilliant with earth spirits - if they can still be called such so far away from our species' planet of origin - a culmination of billions of years worth of evolution from peoples who spoke to the guardians of the steppes and the forest as easily as today one computer might talk to another. Almost always, she knows the will and words of the earth spirits before I do, but just as my love knows the souls of the dirt and leaves in the marrow of her bones, I feel the energy of the water and wildAlien Spirits: Intro in Introductions & Chapters More Like This
IT GETS BETTERTo all those who are gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, or queer, to all those who are young and old, to all those who are being bullied and think that your life is just absolute hell, I'm here to tell you something, something that I think all of you should know: IT GETS BETTER.IT GETS BETTER in Spirit Day More Like This
Like many of you, I was shocked and devastated about the tragic suicides that took place in Fall 2010 and again this Fall 2011. These bright young students were constantly picked on and bullied severely because they were gay or perceived as gay. I know some of you who read this are probably saying right now, "Oh, you know how kids are, they can be so cruel, kids are going to bully regardless". Those who have said it or are even thinking those words as I am speaking, you know who you are. I am letting you know how bad this hurts me as a student who once was looking for the support she never got when she was bullied and harassed in middle school. But I'm getting way off topic. This isn't
That is So GayWow. That is so gay.That is So Gay in Free Verse More Like This
I mean it. That is so homosexual.
Or maybe it is so jewish.
Or so asian.
Or maybe so black.
Or so kid-who-never-gets-off-their-computer.
Or so jock-who-will-peak-in-high-school.
Or so dumb-blond
Or so hetero.
When you say 'thats so gay,' i say 'thats-so-idiot-who-really-needs-a-dictionary.'
Sincerely, Your InsanityDear to whom it may concernSincerely, Your Insanity in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
I'm writing because you never learn
The shadows do have tales to tell
You'll hear them if you listen well
Outside your window do they creep
Inside they wander while you sleep
In whispered voices do they tell
The story of how the angels fell
And how you may be one of them too
That's how you know what they never do
Heed my warnings and you'll be safe
When the dark is something you can't escape
Now never forget what I have said
Sincerely, the voice inside your head
INSANITYannabel liked to whisper. it brought curIosity. it brought secrets. annabel liked secrets.INSANITY in Free Verse More Like This
annabel liked to whisper to the air.
annabel liked to swing at the park after school wheN she has nowhere to go. annabel liked to smile at her friend.
annabel liked to smile to empty space.
annabel liked it when her friend stayed for the night. annabel liked to ask her mother every day. annabel liked that her mother alwayS said yes.
annabel liked her imaginary friend.
annabel liked her friend. annabel didn't like it when her friend brought Along others, too.
annabel didn't like the shadows.
annabel didN't like it when they spoke.
annabel didn't like the voices.
annabel dIdn't like what they said.
annabel didn't like when they did.
annabel didn't like whaT they did.
annabel didn't like what she did.
annabel liked to whisper. it brought curiositY. it broight secrets.
annabel liked secrets.
LithiumLithium in Free Verse More Like This
There is no feeling anymore.
It is trapped within an orange bottle of temptation, my name printed in it's label, not to say that it is mine, but to ay that I am it's own. That is where my screams are heard, bouncing off plastic walls, silent to the ears of the world. I am shackled to the walls of this world that does not exist, but it does exist, don't you see? There it bottles up my mania, my self worth, identity, pushing limits past their breaking points, false truth from white hands passed to my own pale ones. They take pride in masking my pain, hidden right beneath thesurface and unable to be shown. Expressed, those feelings you show I envy you those, those feelings, expressions they flow out of you in a stream that wraps itself around me as if to stangle me until I can no longer breathe and I bleed my emotions to you and they are shown and they are shown to the world and their wide eyes and their white hands they reach for my prison and tear open the ceiling and my screams are hea
Welcome to the Black ParadeWelcome to the black paradeWelcome to the Black Parade in Free Verse More Like This
Here we have your nightmares made.
We are the home of desperation
Quiet, lonely disintegration
Walk the streets of mayhem made
And in our palms is sanity laid
Slipping through weakened fingertips
Sipping dementia through bloody lips
A sad, absurd, hysteric scene
You poor, confused, manic thing
We'll find you when your lucidity is frayed
So let me ask you:
Are you afraid?
Where My Wings Should BeSomewhere she is calling my nameWhere My Wings Should Be in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Burdened, emotional, loved, insane
And when she sees she has nothing to hide
I will hear her,calling my name inside
She hears me
But deep inside, perhaps she fears me
I am calling too
And the trouble she put me through
Maybe I am afraid too
But I am bound by my burdened feet
Pitiful me, perhaps she'll
Where my wings should be
DollHello, doll.Doll in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
Dance for me, please.
'Tis not a request,
Fall to your knees
I will be watching
With my selfish eyes
While you dance to your death,
Oh, my love
Do not let your blood stain the floor
You were punished
When it happened before
May I pull at your strings?
May I play with you, dear?
Pluck the notes of your heartstrings,
Hum a ballad of fear.
Oh, darling there is no need to fight.
But the devil does enjoy such a sight