Not a writerToday I took my pencilNot a writer in Free Verse More Like This
And started to think
Now what should I write about?
I'm sick of it
Too boring to read
I'm done with it
I lie on the floor and start to sing
Something so sad and something so sweet
No need to write it down
But nothing about
Melody is quite simple
As it comes from the heart
You might think I'm tearful
But no, I am not
Too many reasons why I'm here
Too many questions unrelieved
So many people should just leave
Away, get vanished, disappear
I'm still holding pencil in my hand
Not writing, not trying to understand
But I'm singing to feel something new
Something weird, something so good
I'm not a writer and I don't know how to write
though all my life is one big poem, one big fight
But I'm still singing
This melody in me
And it sounds so perfectly
Forgive me please
Forgive me for this
But I'm not a writer
Just one big dreamer...
Paper inked with loveI used to write so many thingsPaper inked with love in Free Verse More Like This
I used to smile, I used to sing
I used to be so very happy
I used to be
And then you trapped me
The piece of paper
On the table
A little story
Of a traitor
On the purest heart
To lie about
I was the paper
You were the words
You violate me
So I got lost
I am the memory
You are the ghost
I won't be treasuring
You inked the paper
You inked my soul
It won't get better
It won't let go
They will retell this story
The piece of paper gonna burn to ash
And we will shine in endless glory
But it will never heal this painful gash
My heart is rainingHatred consumes meMy heart is raining in Free Verse More Like This
But I only hate myself
What a waste
Such a shame
I am nothing
Not worth a name
And him and her
And all of them
But that's ok
It's not like I give a damn
I deserved this pain
My life in vain
After all, it's just a game
But my heart
Is still alive
Beating, breathing, living
Hurting, crying, grieving
Not for me
But for those I hurt
Those I made cry
To those I lied
So many times...
My heart bleeds for them
In the stillness
For me ...
But it's ok
I deserve this pain
But my heart is raining
Loudly into the night
It prays to be heard
Prays to be unfold
To be free
Prays to be loved
My heart is raining
Asking for the savior
Begging for the light
In the hands of the night
Trapped in my hatred
My heart needs saving
It hurts how fast it beats
Locked inside of me
It just needs to be free...
My heart is raining
Please, save it for me...
I can'tI can’t. I simply can’t write.I can't in Free Verse More Like This
I’m lost; I’m out of my mind.
I’m stuck between this and another line.
I want to cry but I don’t know why.
I can’t. I can’t write.
I can’t even force myself to try.
But I want to write. I want to fill this paper with words.
I want to write about everything in the world.
I want to feel the satisfaction of letting go my heart, my soul, my every thought.
I want to. But I can’t.
It’s not writer’s block, and it’s not the lack of muse or inspiration,
it’s nothing but a pure devastation.
I search for the words which not meant to be found,
I’m lost in the emptiness and I can’t find way out,
every line that I write fades away without a sign
and I want to cry but I’m not even able to do that.
No one understands lonely poet that screams into the night,
no one understands lonely girl that hides from the light,
no one seem to understand or care,
no one is out there a
Cocaine heartI just rideCocaine heart in Free Verse More Like This
Slowly into the night
Wind in my hair
I'm driving nowhere
Mile after mile
I slowly ride
Enjoying my life
Life on the road
I keep dreaming on
No one to stop me
No one to say I live my life wrong
So I keep on driving
Searching for the parts of my soul
Day after day, night after night
I'm living it on the wild side
Perfectly balanced and matched
This cocaine heart of my life
One hundred percent pure
Loaded completely with fuel
Beating with rhythm of a psycho
Trembling like leaf under the wind
Who cares how fast I am driving
This crazy life belongs to me
No map to be followed
No goal to be reached
No today, no tomorrow
I'm just chasing my dream
My cocaine heart
My soul and my life
Love=PainI don't have proper words in my mindLove=Pain in Free Verse More Like This
No proper scene in my eyes
Because love is so hard to describe
Some might say it's pure and innocent
Other says it's dark and evil
For someone it might be all the sense
And for other it might be without meaning
I don't know if I know the definition of the love
If I actually know anything at all
But I have something inside
Something what holds me in this life
Is it love?
I don't know
Maybe yes, maybe no
But as long as it makes me going
I don't really care how it's calling
I know it hurts
It causes pain
Makes me insane
Sometimes it makes me even cry
But it's worth to fight
Your love is poor if you can describe it
Cause real love strikes you as a lightning
It means all and nothing at the same time
It feels like heaven but the feeling lives inside
I said so many words right now
But still don't know what love is about
And I don't need to
All I need is to feel it
I'm not brokenI’m not brokenI'm not broken in Free Verse More Like This
I don’t have a second part
I am whole
Like I was from the start
I have one heart
And blood in my veins
I won’t fall apart
From the things you say
I have these eyes
And they’re unique
They tell no lies
Only what you seek
I have this soul
But it’s dark inside
It reflects my world
It shows you my life
I have this road
Though I have no love
I don’t need salvation
I have my choice
It belongs to me
And my own voice
Will set me free
ConnectionThis room is always emptyConnection in Free Verse More Like This
This room belongs to us
This room is filled by memories
This room is always dark
This feeling of connection
Will stay forever here
This feeling of protection
Will banish our fears
This life is pure perfection
But no, it’s just a lie
And only resurrection
Can bring me back to life
This room is still quite empty
Cause shadow doesn't count
And only darkest memories
Keep lurking inside out
Forever stuck in this depression
But life is not the kind of fair
No place for us, only connection
It binds us slowly in despair
I used to be that broken one...You don’t deserve my tearsI used to be that broken one... in Free Verse More Like This
My sadness or happiness
None of it
Do you hear me?
You deserve nothing of this
You ruined me
Brought just misery
And it’s killing me
Part by part unstoppably
I scream at night
I laugh into the mirror
I pray for light
But I’m a sinner
I left behind
Everything between us
And I’m not alright
I’m just a failure
I had my chance
And I ripped your heart
I made it stop
I laugh at you
Crying out loud
Forgive me or better not
But I will never ever stop
Better look me in the eye
And take away my empty life
Go, take it, don’t hesitate
Started to ruin, so finish it
Do it, don’t make me wait
I know you will get over it
But I am done
No longer want to participate
In this quest of love and hate
More Than Anyone BeforeThere's never been a loveMore Than Anyone Before in Free Verse More Like This
Like the one you have for me.
I'm floating; I'm surrounded.
Your love is all I feel.
I just can't comprehend
Why it's bestowed upon me.
I don't deserve
Everything that you are.
But even so
I know that it's true.
You'd do anything for me.
You've already done so much.
I wish so much I could say
My love is the same,
But my hearts been broken
By a lover before.
There's so much
That I would do for you.
But I can promise you
I love you
More than I've loved anyone before.
I Am So SorryI am so sorry for what I do to you.I Am So Sorry in Free Verse More Like This
I just can't help some of what I do.
I can tell in your eyes, you're in pain.
In your shoes, I would be the same.
I wish I could show, how much you mean to me.
When you look at me, I wonder what you see.
I want to say it's over; do it no more.
In my head I'm fighting a terrible war.
I promise I'm trying as hard as I can.
Please believe me. I promise I am.
You still accept me; hold me tight.
It will be tough, but I will win the fight.
I hope you know how much I really care.
I can't believe that you're still there.
Meant To BeTake back some of your love.Meant To Be in Free Verse More Like This
I'm not an angel for above.
Of all the flaws that you see,
Not a single one you find in me.
You're in a circle of self hate.
Can't you see that I inflate?
What I'd do to make you smile;
I'll try it once in a while.
Kiss and hug is all you could ask.
So I make up a destructive task.
Cut you open, make you bleed.
I'm the poison on which you feed.
Somehow I'm amazing to you.
Does it even matter what I do?
Self esteem is way too low,
But punishment is all I know.
Trying to curb my sadistic ways
Or you won't survive many days.
Why can't love just be easy?
Are we really meant to be?
Showing YourselfShowing yourself doesn't make you weak.Showing Yourself in Free Verse More Like This
I'll give you exactly what you seek.
This vulnerability is a part of you.
There isn't anything you can do.
I'm only here to give you help.
Don't have to do it by yourself.
It doesn't matter what you say.
I promise that I'm here to stay.
When you find it's hard to breathe,
Let me be there to relieve.
Want you to know I don't think less.
Only you think that you're a mess.
Please, I just want to be here.
I really do love you, dear.
Only MeWhat would it feel like,Only Me in Free Verse More Like This
To just disappear.
You wouldn't know,
If you just weren't here.
There is no feeling,
Because you can't feel.
You can't interpret.
You just aren't real.
It's so lonely here,
Where you used to be.
I look around,
But it's only me.
Now You'll SeeNo words come out;Now You'll See in Free Verse More Like This
Trapped in my head.
What am I feeling?
It doesn't stop.
I'll make it stop.
Can't do this;
Only one option.
No way to explain;
You'll never understand.
Now you'll see.
I Still BleedDagger's out, but I still bleed.I Still Bleed in Free Verse More Like This
On my heart you unknowingly feed.
When is it I'll be whole?
You're not the owner of my soul.
It's getting better til I sink.
Why do I have to think?
I just want to be safe,
But have no hiding place.
Thoughts will always follow.
They burrow and make me hollow.
So I run as far as I can go.
Maybe the thoughts won't know.
I'm Just SorryCan't tell why you're still here.I'm Just Sorry in Free Verse More Like This
I only bring out your deep fear.
Constantly near panic attack.
Focusing on what you lack.
So afraid that I'll go away.
Why do you want me to stay?
You deserve more than me.
Really, what do you see?
Trying to be better for you.
I don't know what I can do.
I'll try whatever I can.
I'm just sorry for who I am.
EnvyThey say that envy's wrong.Envy in Free Verse More Like This
It burns right through you,
Consumes your time,
Effects everything you do.
But I just can't help
The envy that I feel.
You don't even know
My thoughts you steal.
Straight A's just come.
You don't have to try.
While I work so hard
Just to get by.
Yes, I do burn
When you are so smart.
I'm not ashamed
Of the envy in my heart.
Frozen In TimeFrozen in time.Frozen In Time in Free Verse More Like This
No longer I grow.
As age goes up,
Maturity says no.
Barely a teen.
This body isn't mine.
I don't understand.
Where was the time?
It thought by now,
Adult I would be.
I can't believe,
Got a career,
Got a new place,
Move myself here.
And bills too.
What's a child,
Supposed to do?
Have a baby.
We're too young.
Don't you see?
Continue to age.
I'll be eighty-nine.
Still be a kid,
Frozen in time.
Living With A LieYou sit there shaking; emotionally frozen.Living With A Lie in Free Verse More Like This
You check the time on your watch, despite knowing it already.
The ever-present numbness, the cold feeling which clutches at your soul;
That is what you feel upon the dawn of the lie.
To know its nature, to know its being;
To have it spill upon your awareness.
What words would surmise such a bitter feeling:
Perhaps the use of dejection, p
The Feelings That LingerThe Feelings That Linger:The Feelings That Linger in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
The sound of your voice still lingers here
Even though I know you're gone...
And my nights have turned to sleepless days;
They grow worse with every dawn...
You've probably heard this story though
At least a thousand times or more.
But the thing I remember best about her
Is the sound of that closing door...
It was like the end to everything;
A cloud inside my head.
When I came awake on that final night;
I reached for her in bed-
But an empty space was all I got;
There was no one to wipe these tears.
I could scream and cry for many hours;
But it wouldn't chase my fears.
I tried so hard to tell myself
That everything would be alright.
But instead I ended up reminsicing
About her ever-present light...
I'm just so tired of everything;
I wish I didn't have to think...
But maybe you'll hear me one last time;
If I put this down in ink:
We had a life that was beautiful
Rest My Sweetest DarlingSweetest little dragon child, with a tiny broken wingRest My Sweetest Darling in Free Verse More Like This
For you it is a solemn song that we are made to sing.
Your parents fought to save you, but here it is you lie
My sweetest little dragon child, why did you have to die?
There are no words to capture grief, nor the mourning in our hearts
I never thought that we were meant to be easily torn apart...
No pain in life could have ever prepared us, for the pain we faced today
My child I wish you could hear the words that we truly long to say
We wish we could have taught you, about the flowers in the spring
We wish we could have showed you, the homes of our kin...
We wish we could have loved you, and watched you fly away
But in this cold and clammy cave is where you have to stay
We'll lay you down to rest for now, so just dream of better times
Your mother and I will be the ones to atone for our crimes
Sleep for now and rest yourself for you needn't ever rise
We will stay and watch you drift away, before our very eyes...
"My dearest Mideen
My Soul, My Dream, My TeamMy Soul, My Dream, My Team:My Soul, My Dream, My Team in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
We are dreamers, we humans.
We reach out eagerly to that which lies above us
Tempted by its unattainable nature and egotistically;
We simplify the task that lies before us...
We climb without any forethought, without preparation;
Recklessly we charge head on for our goal -
And eventually, we lie broken by our failure.
I myself, Captain as you call me,
Am little better than a foolish dreamer.
One who dreams in a childish manner;
Unaware of his impotence, when left alone.
How many times have I been saved by others?
When I lack time, it is my officers who stand,
They keep the ship running smoothly,
Expending hours of precious effort.
When I fall, it is my co-captain who rallies me,
And reminds me of our responsibility -
One that we owe to our readers and friends.
When I write, it is my team - my uncles,
Who lay the path before me;
They give their time and their heart,
Supporting my work from its birth as but a simple idea.
And when I am dow
White Lily GirlWhite Lily Girl:White Lily Girl in Free Verse More Like This
They say that love is plenty
But mine is simply dead.
She sleeps amongst the flowers
I grew upon her bed...
I wonder if she's dreaming
Of smiles and happy things.
Or playing her favourite game
Of rubber balls and strings...
She used to mean the world to me
But humans took her life.
Oh lord that took my child away
I offer you this knife...
It bears the blood of your faithful humans
The ones you taught to scream of hate...
How many more will join the ranks
Of the damned that I create?
Droolings wrecks and putrid bodies
The ultimate art of sanguine pride!
The dead that groan in utter pain
Will stay forever by her side...
Cut and sewn, hewn and cleft
Made to match like ragged dolls.
Each will be a lifeless guardian
Watching from the bitter walls...
You took my child and stole her life
Now I do the same for you...
Your children now shall bear my hatred
And there is nothing you can do.
Come and drink of water or wine
I shall feed you as I feed
Sweet Little AngelsSweet Little Angels:Sweet Little Angels in Free Verse More Like This
You always loved them and cared for them deeply
They were the joy of your life and you held them close.
Until one day, sadly, they were taken from you
and your heart was torn by the pain and grief...
But remember always, that they will watch over you
though you might not feel them presently
You can hear their whispers when the wind is blowing
and you can feel their warmth on the lonely nights
They will always remain in your memories
For that is where you keep a part of them
A loving part that will never fade
Therefore, do not think of them as being 'gone'
Instead take heart in the fact that they are waiting
So that one day, you might both embrace each other once more...
-Chen Yuan Wen, 6th June 2012
I Believe In YouI Believe In You:I Believe In You in Free Verse More Like This
You feel like things have gone into the ground
When everything is gone and crashing down.
You took your pain and tried to make it end
But give me one more chance to hold your hand...
See I will believe it...
I know you're strong inside
Just try once to see it
You will believe that-
You will be alright,
And we are all here by your side
We'll take you through those painful days
We soar like birds and fly away hey!
You will know that we're here,
Cause when you open those eyes my dear;
We will all be here
We will all be here
We will all be here...
See once it was so hard to carry on,
But take my hand, my shoulder; we'll be strong.
Don't think about the things that are all behind,
Just look ahead and hearts will heal with time.
Yeah live and believe it
Cause I know you're strong inside
Just try once to see it;
You will believe that
You will be alright
And we are right here by your side
Throw away those painful days
Take a breath and step away hey!
The Great DrakeHe rose from the ground as the very earth split in a series of jagged scarsThe Great Drake in Free Verse More Like This
Molten lava would burst from these wounds, as his wings eclisped the shimmering stars...
The Great Drake Serogar, once laid to rest in the warm womb of Gaia
Had once again awakened, to discipline those who had earned his ire.
Humans and Dragons were killing each other, senselessly bathing in the coldest of blood
Yet all their efforts amounted to nothing and opened the gates for a terrible flood...
For in the realms of the Nether; where the creatures drank of the dark well of Midnight
A rift had been torn of violence and hatred, spawning the children of Blight.
The demonkin arose from this artificial scar, fueled only by their need to destroy
The forces of darkness laughed at us blatantly, for this had been their devious ploy!
Serogar shook his head and cried piteously, for this was not the world of which he had dreamed
He roared defiantly at the creatures of darkness and met them bravely as he screamed:
YouYouYou in Free Verse More Like This
At peace within this tranquil garden,
I picture the moments where I've made you smile.
Those times are endlessly precious to me,
I think they're worth the while.
They're worth the time I've spent with you,
Even if it wasn't long.
I only wish I'd spent a little more,
Before our love was gone.
Just Pull the TriggerThis pain I feel inside,Just Pull the Trigger in Free Verse More Like This
It comes from no wounds.
This pain I feel I've died,
Don't leave me in this room...
I am surrounded by the walls-
And my cage grows tighter.
I pick up cigarettes and crawl,
As I search for my lighter.
Holding flames that I cup,
In these hands so bitter.
I take that first of puffs;
With a swill of liquor.
I have sunk to the bottom.
I'm dreaming of the moment I-
Will break the surface and see the sun.
But sadly I am done...
So let's go play with the gun!
And load, just pull the trigger!
And load, let the gun smoke linger!
- Word of Chen, 13th May 2014
Beautiful.They say I’m beautifulBeautiful. in Free Verse More Like This
Because of the way my crystalline heart reflects light off its fractured surface
Well, that isn't a reflection
It’s rejection of the light because it’s all too much to handle
Throw myself away into the dark without even a candle
‘Cause I don’t want to recognize all the pain I’m in
Or realize the truth behind what I am or who I've been
And I tried to make things right but I just keep on making wrong
I never listened to the angel on my shoulder when she called
I count my tears like they’re experience
And my scars like they’re mysterious
And that’s a feeling I’ll remember –
Watching as you left
Watching as you ended what was meant to be forever
And I can see it in their eyes; everyone can empathize
So they say that I’m beautiful because they don’t know what else to say.
But if being broken is beautiful, then it’s the ugliest way...
If Ever I Lost YouWhat weighs on your mind?If Ever I Lost You in Free Verse More Like This
What's taking up your time?
You tell me not to worry and you swear you're really fine
Please open up to me
Tell me of your fears
You know I'll kiss the scars and I'll wipe away your tears
Don't keep it to yourself
You know you're not alone
I couldn't live my life without you ever coming home
I'd be so lost inside
I wouldn't recognize
The person that I see in the reflection of your eyes
Just tell me you're okay, and that you love me too
I don't know what I'd do
If ever I lost you…
Awareness.She writes such lovely poemsAwareness. in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
But nobody really cares
She hides them all the time
To avoid the judging stares
She wrote one yesterday
About a boy who said he loved her
But to her own dismay
She caught him with another
She wrote one about school
And the words painted on her locker
“No one likes you, stupid bitch.
You’re lucky I’m at soccer.”
She wrote about her parents
And how she wished they were together
But she knows that won’t ever happen
And forgetting’s probably better
Yes, she writes such lovely poems
But there’s so much more to this
See, her pencil is a razor
And the paper is her wrist.
Love Me.She falls asleep most every nightLove Me. in Free Verse More Like This
To the sound of her parents pointless fight
And clinging tightly to her tear soaked pillow
She goes to school most every day
Wishing she could run away
From all those who torture her
For not being ‘cool’
Her mother, she just plain ignores her
Her father’s never even there
Who would notice if she were gone?
Who would even care?
She just wants to make it quick
To take this razor as her friend
And feel its tender loving kiss
Pressed against her paper skin
She just wants to make it stop
The feeling lonely, sad and hated
She holds the blade up to eye level
I don’t know how long she waited
She presses hard against her skin
And lines of ink bleed from the pen
The blade, it rests there on her knee
On her arm she wrote
Wonder.Do you fear your own death?Wonder. in Free Verse More Like This
Is it hard to conceive?
Draw in your last breath, then-
Your last breath will leave.
Isn't it strange to think,
That there's a timer above your head?
A countdown you can't see,
That finishes when you're dead.
Don't you ever wonder,
What it'll be like when you're gone?
I bet the world will keep on spinning.
There will be another dawn.
But the harsh reality behind it-
We're all going to die.
There's no reason to try to fight it
Not even to question why.
It makes me wish that I could have a little more to give,
Because I'm not afraid of how I'll die...
I'm afraid of how I'll
Coming BackYou looked at me with sunset eyesComing Back in Free Verse More Like This
Teeming with an ocean’s depth
Waves were crashing down your cheeks
Tears you should have never wept
And I heard a sound I’ll not forget
The slamming front door as you left
In shock I waited as tragedy unfurled
Denial settled into the silence of my world
Without a glance or shallow sigh
You left me here with no goodbye
But in my heart there grew an ache
A pain that, most nights, keeps me awake
And now I finally realize
What I saw in those shining eyes
Not the sunset; the sunrise
So this was never a goodbye
This was letting go.
And now I’m coming back.
Since You've Been GoneYou take my hand and you whisper to me,Since You've Been Gone in Songs & Lyrics More Like This
"Darling, I love you and I promise I'll never leave..."
I look to you and without missing a single beat,
I say, "You were my missing piece, now I'm finally complete."
An involuntary smile spreads out across your lips,
And I can't help but smile as I lean in to taste your kiss...
Then the frame stops and it's stuck on this same scene;
My nights have been so haunted with the recurrence of this dream.
I always hope that I'll wake up and this dream will become true,
But I'm so tired of only dreaming...
Darling, I miss you...
And since you've been gone I've been wasting away,
Just trying to find meaning in every day,
I know that I won't, but I try anyway,
I just hope you'll come back and I hope that you'll stay...
Since you've been gone I've been all on my own,
Trying so hard not to pick up the phone,
'Cause your voice always helps me to not feel so alone,
But since you've been gone that's all that I've known...
(Since you've bee
Please Come Home...I've not grown used to this...Please Come Home... in Free Verse More Like This
I'm not used to being alone...
And I've had enough of it...
For too long I've been without you...
I have so much to say...
Will I ever get the chance...?
I long for our forever...
To stay lost in our romance...
And I've not grown used to this!
I'm not used to being alone!
I miss our everything!
Won't you please, come
I miss our everything...
The warmth of your embrace...
The way you'd hold me...
The way you made me feel safe...
I long to feel you once more...
And taste the sweet of your kiss...
I want how it was just before...
We were seperated like this...
Cause I'll not get to used to it!
Used to you being gone!
And I miss our everything!
Won't you please, Darling,
Won't you -please- come
I need YouI need to feel your touchI need You in Free Verse More Like This
I need to love you
I need to hear your heart beat
and to always hear your voice
You lighten up my world
You bring happiness within my life
I need to be with you
to always have smiles on my face
I need you here
I need you there
I need you with all my heart
cause without you I am nothing
I need you to want me
I need you to love me
Cause I will always love you
deep within me
I always want to show you
I always want to be here for you
I need you to be with me
cause without you, I am nothing
So love me forever
love me always
For with you in my life
There will always be love
I need to feel your touch
To hear your voice
I need to always be with you
Cause my love, you complete my world
Just to FeelI would cutJust to Feel in Free Verse More Like This
just to feel the pain
just to know
that my life was worth it
Every inch on my arm
every inch on my leg
I would cut
just to feel the pain deep inside
To watch the blood pour down
to cry in happiness
I would cut
just to know that I still feel
Cutting my skin
burning it completely
I would suffer in agony
just to see if I still feel
Every scar that is there
every inch that I cut
it just proves
how much my life was worth it
I would cut
just to feel the pain
to know that Im still alive
to know that I still feel
Feeling of pain
feeling of torture
I would cut
to know that I still feel
In this world...
True loveFrom the first day we started talkingTrue love in Free Verse More Like This
i knew that there was a bond going on
I knew that one day you will be mine
forever and always
Than i started getting to know you
and i found out i had feelings for you
from the day we first met
i knew that i fell in love with you
I love your gorgeous eyes
and hugging you
if i could
i would hug you and never let go
I knew this was love
from high above
the moment i have fallen in love
was the moment i knew it was true
I started getting to know you
and everything about you
i thought that we can work this out
especially since we have so much in common
Now we are finally in love
and you have finally reached my heart
a heart for you
and i wont let anybody get in the way
Cause i love you so dearly
and you mean something to me
more than anybody that ever knows
and to me this is what i called
and forever will be
until the very end
of our living lives <3
I am Fine...I say I'm fineI am Fine... in Free Verse More Like This
when it was always a lie
I hide deep inside my mask
where the pain is hidden inside
Nobody knows what is real
Nobody knows the truth
I will leave this world
as it was always meant to be
A life full of lies
a life full of hate
I want to be forgotten...
than all this pain will go away
I hide deep within myself
Lying to myself all along
I am not fine in this world
Deep inside I am drowning in sorrow...
I want to scream to the world
Tell everybody how I really feel
Will anybody truly understand?
Or even care for that matter..
I am lying to hide this pain
a pain of sorrow and misery
Nobody knows how I truly feel
Cause I am forgotten in this world
My face shows different emotions
than the pain I feel deep inside
I am "Fine" in this life
while deep inside I'm truly dying...
My DestinyI'm a loner cause I dont trust.My Destiny in Free Verse More Like This
I smile on the outside but dead on inside.
I have many weaknesses, but also strengths.
I wish someone would understand so I dont feel alone.
But everyone is clueless and Im left alone.
Maybe this is my destiny.
Maybe Im better off alone..
I amI am the light,that will shine through.I am in Free Verse More Like This
I am the ears,that will listen to all.
I am the voices,telling me to keep going.
I am the eyes,that sees the good as well as evil.
I am a daughter,to a hurtful family.
I am a sister,to a brother that doesn't care.
But I am strong,when those think I'm weak.
I am alive,to find my path to the light.
I am unique,in every aspect of my life.
I am creative,when I find the joy to do so.
I am me,and that's all I care about.
I am beautiful,even if depression tells me otherwise.
Despite of my past,I am still here to this day.
To fight the battle of depression
I will always be me,a strong woman there is.
I will find my path into the light,and that is when I'm finally free
Darken world i live inLiving in this darken worldDarken world i live in in Free Verse More Like This
a world full of hate
a world full of horrible people
No one that will understand
and no one that cares
A darken life i live in
where i dont fear many things
i think blood fascinates me
and i love going and laying down in the graveyard at night
Looking up at the stars
A world so dark
a world full of hate
no one will understand
what this life brought me here
why i am the way i am
Nobody truly understands
the morbid life i live in
the life full of dark
where there is no light
a life full of hate
Where i love my black
and black clothes
a world i feel invisible
is this darken world i live in
My darken soul
and darken fears
this world i dont belong
a world i dont like
Is this darken world i live in...
I am a girlI am a girlI am a girl in Free Verse More Like This
that loves to be different
Who is shy around the opposite sex
and a girl who doesnt say a word when depressed
I am a girl
that loves both men and woman
Who told the ones she love
and a girl that was open
But all they did was laugh in her face
a girl that wants to be different
I am a girl
that has her head held high
Pretending like everything is okay
even though deep inside she is dying
I am a girl
that is strong
Who loves to be different
and want to prove to the world
She is meant to be here
I am a girl
that is bi
A girl that wants to show the world
that we do exist in life
I am a girl that is learning
a girl that accepts anybody for who they are
I am a girl
that wants to be open
A girl that wants to prove to the world
she is meant to be here
But most importantly
I am a girl that is bi
I love both men and woman
A girl that wants to prove to people
That we are all humans
and not cowards
I am a girl
that wants to stand up to what she believes in
A girl that is meant to be bor
Deep inside your eyesFeeling of finding the oneDeep inside your eyes in Free Verse More Like This
every look, every whisper
gazing into your eyes
is now for eternity
The gorgeous eyes you have
I cant help but stare into them
How did I find the perfect one?
The one that truly loves me
I can see you a mile away
crying in happiness
smiling at finding the one
in my life
I look into your eyes
when you are right beside me
Knowing that you care
knowing that you love me
I keep looking deep into your eyes
which hides the truth deep down
That you are the one
my one and only
as I look deep inside your eyes
and lost for all eternity
EverydayEveryday the pain consumesEveryday in Free Verse More Like This
More and more as time passes by
Everyday I start to give up,
the more the pain has burden inside...
Everyday I lose hope in life
Abuse after abuse
trauma after trauma,
I dont see hope left in my life..
Everyday I lose my grip,
i feel more sadness, than ever felt before...
But everyday I pretend to smile..
than maybe this pain will be gone forever
But this was a lie that I told myself,
the pain is still inside me..
and these memories still arise.
Everyday I will try to smile...
maybe one day it will be gone for good..
Everyday it makes struggles in my life,
but not a moment to spare, i find ways to cope..
So everyday I will fake a smile,
not cry a single tear..
Maybe in the end I will become strong...
and maybe an Angel will take me high above.
Cause in the end, I dont deserve this pain
Maybe the sadness will so disappear.
So everyday I will fake a smile...
and maybe one day, someone will take this pain away...
Pasted On Your FaceIt's really just a simple brushstrokePasted On Your Face in Free Verse More Like This
A happy masquerade
You think of how strong you are
And paste it on your face
You try not to act like
Blood's sticking to the underside of your shirt
And that you weren't just cursing yourself
Becuause she got there first
And you act like its all fine, it's all good
That you aren't being tortured
As much as you should
That you aren't devestatingly lonely
And your trashed heart isn't broken
You smear this act
This pointless coat of paint across your skin
Like everything is fine
Morphine EyesYour hands are so much bigger than my ownMorphine Eyes in Free Verse More Like This
And I find it enchanting-the display of your fingers touching mine
Like a mirror, I can see myself in you
In the sea blue of those morphine eyes
Surely beauty does not exist elsewhere
Maybe God has created you from the clay of the earth himself
And captured the glow of the moon in your iris
And your laugh has been woven from the bells of heaven
I wish you could see how I look at you, my love
That just for a moment you could see just how beautiful you are
Even if you don't like it, I can see it
Your gentle hands
And the curve of your mouth
You are a wonder to me
Both you, and those haunting eyes
The softness of your voice
And this agony I keep enduring
All for the boy
With the morphine eyes
Girl in the GlassI hate this girlGirl in the Glass in Free Verse More Like This
With the sneer on her lips
Her fingers knotted in her pretty hair
Her eyes are wild
She's so curvy it's almost sad
She can't hold down a diet
She keeps yanking down her sleeves to cover those pathetic scars
Her eyes are droppy
Her legs too wide
Ink stains on her finger tips
And pentagram's drawn on her sneakers
She has a silver ring and leather coat
She's so desperate to worm into some else's skin
I don't want to hate her but I do
Who is this, stupid bitch who's smiling like she doesn't have a clue?
Putting on a brave face? Ready to face her accuser?
He's waiting in the car outside
A man she should call father
Looking in a mirror is forgein to me
Trying to contact that girl in the glass
This useless bitch staring at me
Who are you?
And why would anyone want you?
Dead GirlBaby, I hope you bury me in ashesDead Girl in Free Verse More Like This
Tear off the fabric of my dress and taste the the skin of my stomach
And kiss the cold smile that you never knew
You never got the chance to know me
Or the story behind each scar
You just smiled and nodded all the way through
From classroom to coffin
From gravel to gravestone
You didn't love me from my blue jeans to my little black dress
From the car park
To the funeral home
I was dead from the second I met you
I was picking out my coffin on the bus-ride home
I was just a figure
You were just a ghost-boy
Shucked clean from the shell
No soul, no heart, nothing my pen could dream up
I never knew you
You never knew me
We were never in love
We were desperate, and needy
Blood pumped with hormones, adrenaline and lust
My back against the closet door was nothing but a fantasy
And tasting your bleeding lips was nothing but a daydream
This coffin isn't empty anymore
Your tuxedo is stained with graveyard dirt and sweat
Bury me in every regret
Your LoveYour love is whiskeyYour Love in Free Verse More Like This
Sultry tangy bitter drops piercing my tongue
Gulps in my throat
The more I take, the more regrets I'll have
Were falling and tangling up
Further and further
At our breaking point
Shattering on the bathroom floor
Into pieces, broken bottles and hoarse screams
Mixing with pouring water and empty promises
Digging nails into skin
Whiskey spilling over onto the bed
Table tops and soaking clothes
Your love is like whiskey
Sneak InSneak in the windowSneak In in Free Verse More Like This
I won't tell
Just curl up under the covers with me and hold me
Her brown eyes are closed
I just need one night
Of harmless teasing
Your mouth on my forehead
My fingers digging into your shirt, I'm shaking
Your own tears touch my cheeks when you kiss me-you commit the fatal sin
But with your hands in my hair it doesn't matter
The man and his adulteress burning in the fire they created
Your knuckles stroking my jaw
You kiss me and tighten your hold over and over
Since when its dawn you have to leave
The sun starts rising
And you're crying too
Because you don't want to leave
I make your life better
You fix me
I don't want to stay in your arms
Feel you holding me in a way you have never held her
Please don't go
Smile at me with those blue eyes
Stay with me in our embrace
I miss you and I love you
Stay stay with me
Shut Up, VoiceI'm not worthlessShut Up, Voice in Free Verse More Like This
But you are
Today I'll tell him
He'll just laugh at you
I want to stop
But you can't
I'm tired of being broken
You'll never be whole again
I'm better than this
You are nothing
I'll stand up to them
They'll just hit you again
I could be perfect if I try
Not as perfect as her
I don't want to go down that road again
All you can do is crawl
I'm not going to cut today
You're going to write that note today
They'll have to stop, sometime
It's not going to end
Not SorryI'm sorry I'm a fuck-upNot Sorry in Free Verse More Like This
That I don't do as I'm told
I'm sorry I'm not submissive and that your words don't stop me cold
I don't give fuck if you hate me
That's just the worthless slut that I am
I don't care if you don't love me
Its just another blow
I'll shrug it off and walk away
Because I just don't care anymore
I'm watching every dream I have ever had crumble down around me
Your fist keeps on striking me and I don't feel a thing
I'll tear up this paper
I'll break everything in sight until there's silence
And you shut your mouth
I won't stop this pain (this pleasure) until I'm restored
It's a dirty, filthy path
And I'm nothing but your whore
So I don't care if you destroy me
If your words continue to cut
I'll just keep on screaming back
Until you get enough
Karma's a BitchOh, honey you are so lonelyKarma's a Bitch in Free Verse More Like This
Let me hold your hand and talk you through it
I'll tell you she's lost a great guy
And that this makes me one lucky gal
But maybe she was better off
And maybe you are too
Because the only heart that I have
Is the one that belongs to you!
You must feel so lost
So heartsick and confused
Maybe it was your idea
Or maybe it was hers
Maybe she's one lucky girl!
To have dropped that burdensome load!
Hurts to be left behind doesn't it?
Sucks to be second best?
Makes you feel alone?
Like nothing could be right again
Isn't is horrible to feel like you aren't loved?
Like no one gives a fuck?
Like someone's just kicked you in the gut?
Makes you feel sad inside?
Being left out
It hurts, doesn't it?
HereI want you here with meHere in Free Verse More Like This
Under these trees
In petal covered grass
Leaning up against you and talking like we should
My muse, my heart-I want your peace and your sorrow
I want you in shadow or in sunlight
In depaire or in the high life
I want you, my night sky
My welcome heartache
My lover, my soul
My best friend, my partner
No matter how much anger, or hate fills me, I want you
I feel it inside me
I know it in my mind
I want your trust, your friendship
If I earn nothing more,
Beileve me....its fine.
You.Why is it so hard for me to tell you.You. in Free Verse More Like This
That I adore you.
That I am a mess really.
That all I look forward to doing.
Is talking to you.
At this point I would do anything to tell you.
How much I do.
But of course my nervousness continues to shake me away.
From what I want.
I will keep trying.
I will keep trying.
Sudden Realization.Sudden RealizationSudden Realization. in Free Verse More Like This
I finally faced the fact that you don't love me
I don't know why it took me so long to see
Your actions, your words
Yes they were my cure
But I soon saw the hidden meaning behind them
I know you were only trying to help
To save me from myself
But really I am now much to vain/selfish
To let you continue this
I am not saying stop talking to me
Because that is far away from what I want
I fell in love with you
But please understand, I don't want to be apart of a schedule
Of your caring
Keep in mind I love you so much
In fact I always will
But see me for me
Not what you know I can (and should) be
SensesI am happySenses in Free Verse More Like This
Can't you see?
My mind seems to have nothing but the simple thoughts of you in them
~Wondering if you are okay-wounder if you would like this.
My nose takes the scent of you, as you walk past me each and every time
~Giving a friendly smiles as you do this~
My eyes just seemed to be glued to you, drawn into your brown eyes
~Taking in your features- almost drawing my own mental picture of you~
My lips speak nothing but you
~"How are you today?"~
My hand touches you and gives me butterflies and a deep sense of warmth
Can't you see.
That you are almost all of me already.
Trusted SecretThe words you said belong only to meTrusted Secret in Free Verse More Like This
I won't let anyone have them
I will protect them, cherish them
People will ask over and over again
So they can dig up your past
So it can define you
I am not one of them, can't you see?
I am not hiding behind a mask of falsehood.
I am right here
There is no one else
I am always here to help carry the burden you are so desperate to hide
You just got to let me.
I am always here for you_
Can you Feel Me?I wait, for each timeCan you Feel Me? in Free Verse More Like This
We meet gazes..
When we do it feels as though
it is lasting forever.
I resist the urge
To smile for fear that you will
look away at that momenet.
You're stong gaze makes it hard
To look away.
It almost as you are looking through me.
At times I am almost too afraid
to look back at you.
I STILL want to talk to you...
Is it the same for you?
DollDo you honestly think, that you will change my thinking?Doll in Free Verse More Like This
Do you honestly believe you can keep belittling me
And treat me like your slave like you always did?
Let's face it you only talked to me when you wanted something
You can deny it as much as you want to, the fact is you still
After a while you told me yourself right
Did you think that I will just sit here take it forever
Like a DOLL.
That girl you knew is history.
I will admit I wanted to give you the world
That is no longer the case
But this fake respect, the fake mask
Is now more easy to spot than ever before
I know am showing you the real me.
It's Your turn.
Lost and FoundLost and FoundLost and Found in Free Verse More Like This
Here I am walking around aimlessly
Scars surround every part of my body
Lies are all that I seem to know
Tears no longer come out
Just the supreme silence
I walk for what seems to be forever
I lose the strength that I have to stand
I was done, I was done with trying
I wanted to sit and rot
But there you were
The flickering light in my hurt eyes
You came for me...came running
At this close to dead corpse
You whispered thoughts of hope- often true thoughts
It was never merely flattery, and overreacted words
Nor was it fake for secret intentions
It was honest, kind, true
You are the only one that makes me feel this way
Because you are the first one you found ME
I want desperately to say I love you my friend
You help in me in so many ways.
-March 2, 2012-
Words of GlassWords of GlassWords of Glass in Free Verse More Like This
You got what you wanted
I can't believe I trusted you
Not only that but I gave you the chance
I done with chances
This time I am not turning back
Of course you will think:
"She will come back-she always has"
I am done
Playing your game, believing your lies.
Have a good life, without me in it.
(not like you cared much to begin with....)
Hollow FighterHollow FighterHollow Fighter in Free Verse More Like This
What is it that you want
You want me to stop and drop everything for you
You want me to stop believing in myself
To make it seem like you did all the work
I am done with this mess
"I did not tell them to do this."
Stop with your lies
I finally confirmed this
You were the person behind this all along
You sick person
I trusted you
I loved you
I cared for you
Thank you for teaching me a lesson on how evil people can get
I am done now-and now moving on..~
My Only.Here I am talking to youMy Only. in Free Verse More Like This
This smiling person who has it way to bad for you
The only way at times I feel whole is near you
The only person I look forward to seeing is you
The one that I want to watch grow is you
The one I feel is deserving of everything is you
Every sentence I seem to say ends with you
So naturally it would be good to say:
I Love You. <3
Living a Lie.Living a Lie.Living a Lie. in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
You say things you don't mean when you're angry.
You call me a waste of space and that you can't stand me.
When the dust settles you say you don't mean it.
You say I should know better than to believe it.
As usual I foolishly upkeep your illusive hold on me.
I allow you to mute my thoughts and take control of me.
You promise and reassure me that it will never happen again.
That this is the last time and you will put it all to an end.
But I know promises only comfort fools,
Who readily allow others to pull the wool
Over our eyes because it is easier to swallow the lies.
Can it be a mistake if it happens more than twice?
Despite my preaching I can never take my own advice.
I've realised that this aggression is a part of you
And because I can never dare to part from you.
I have to believe the love you have for me is true.
Sometimes you have to take a lie not for what it is
But for the truth and reality it suspends.
Withdraw your vengeful tongue and revert it into a kiss.
They SayThey Say.They Say in Free Verse More Like This
They say there is always a silver lining.
But right now my future looks bleak.
They say the sky is the limit.
But my vision is blocked by a mountain peak
They say life is a game.
But I was never any good at hide and seek.
They say were all different.
But does that mean that were all unique.
They say everyone wants to win.
But I have no desire to compete.
They say there are plenty more fish in the sea.
But they didn't say whether the water's shallow or deep.
They say everyone is searching for the same answer.
But I have'nt got it in me to cheat.
They say I'm too negative.
But I know this also comes hand in hand with defeat.
They say a healthy mind is a healthy body.
But I'm not to obsessed with my physique.
They say some situations you must face, face to face.
But sometimes I am not willing to turn the other cheek.
They told me some day I'd be someone great.
But I know that's a promise they cant keep.
They say sometimes shit just happens.
But I've recently discovere
Standing AloneStanding Alone.Standing Alone in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
I can't understand myself
Yet I can't stand myself
So I stand by myself
Because I can't be anyone else.
SurvivalSurvival.Survival in Concrete Poetry More Like This
Give a man a fish he will eat for a day.
Teach a man to fish he will eat for a life time.
Give a man a gun he will rob a bank.
Give a man a bank he will rob the world.
We adapt and adjust.
Constantly dithering on the cusp
Of what is considered wrong and right,
Ensuring that our ambitions remain in sight.
We would be willing to do anything
In order to get what we truly desire.
We would be willing to risk everything
Even putting our friends in the line of fire.
We may share the bounty with others,
Allowing them to experience the fruitful taste.
Given the option we will even care for our brothers.
Just as long as we are well endowed with songs of praise.
We are opportunists.
We are convincing and ruthless.
We are the modern day Judas.
Reflected InspectionReflected InspectionReflected Inspection in Urban & Spoken Word More Like This
Here I am again examining my disfigured figure in the mirror.
Fondling my fat wishing I could trim it down with a pair of scissors.
Relentlessly poking, prodding and picking at my face.
Leaving behind nothing but a black, coarse and scabby trace.
Furiously patting down my cheeks begging them to be smaller.
Standing on the edge of my toes willfully imagining that I am taller.
Folding my ears inwards commanding them to decrease in size.
Hysterically trying to find the beauty they said existed in my eyes.
Scrutinizing my nose using my hands to mould it into my desired shape.
Impatiently withdrawing my stomach to wonder how I would look if I lost some weight.
Slapping my overlapping thighs repeatedly, persuading them to become firmer.
Grasping the pair of scissors at my throat with the intent of committing my own murder.
Thinking to myself how can anyone ever find me remotely attractive?
And how can I ever expect myself to be regularly sexually active.
With me looking
Wasted Words.Wasted Words.Wasted Words. in Free Verse More Like This
We wait for the last possible moment.
Even when confronting our opponents.
How we truly feel.
We hide behind our counterfeit expressions.
Conceal and contain our countless confessions.
Failing to announce,
What our mouths long to pronounce.
We purposely squander opportunities.
Maintaining our positions within our communities.
Avoiding any disclosure,
Reducing the risk of exposure.
We use humour to dilute what we actually say.
Because the truth does not have to be revealed today.
We know there always is a tomorrow,
So today has not got to be filled with sorrow.
We wait and wait.
Stall and prolong.
Until it’s too late
And the moment has gone.
There is never a convenient time.
For us to say what is really on our minds.
It takes the sight of a death bed.
The Underlying LieThe Underlying LieThe Underlying Lie in Concrete Poetry More Like This
I choose if I want to reveal it.
My lips and expressions will conceal it.
My words will infiltrate and deceive your thoughts.
My plot is unpredictable I don't intend to get caught.
It is mine to own and sell as I please.
It will invade and contaminate like an infectious disease.
If you uncover the antidote ill have to come clean.
Claim that I cant help it and that I am a compulsive feign.
This doesn't mean you are now immune to this common plague.
You will never know when it will return its symptoms are vagu
Nonet Four MaturityMaturityNonet Four Maturity in Traditional Fixed Forms More Like This
As I grow older I start to see.
This life for what it really is.
Death is unpredictable.
Success is not assured.
Pleasure is short lived.
Pain is promised.
Good ByeGood byes.Good Bye in Short Stories More Like This
Something so simple and consistent. Something we have all experienced time and time again. It combines the long awkward moment with a short and swift exit. Signifying an end to what once was. An end of an era. A fulfilling moment that always had an end. The conclusion was always present, always there. But sometimes we choose not to focus on it. It almost makes the certainty uncertain for a period of time. But we all know its coming. Sometimes we focus on it to heavily and it ruins the remaining time you have. What I'm trying to say is there is no set way to deal with it. Its something you have to get used to. There are no sedatives to numb the pain or refill the exposed void. Effort is short lived. Things will never be the same. But the time spent will always have a receipt. A blank none existent piece of paper. Imprinted in to your brain. Converted in to the form of colourful images and videos. These memories will always remain on your saved data. It's the only way we know
Good Bye FriendGood ByeGood Bye Friend in Visual & Found Poetry More Like This
Bags packed hastily on an un made bed.
Inactive blue tack firmly attached to the walls.
Earthly possessions compiled regrettably.
Unfortunate circumstances have been confirmed.
Your chariot has arrived to take you away.
The hardest part is yet to come.
I know our connection will weaken.
No matter how hard we try to cling on.
Change is something we cannot avoid.
Memories are all we have to hold on to.
Realities rewind button has been disabled.
This game can never be won.
Humour temporarily dilutes the situation.
Silence is the only language spoken.
Eyes exchange compromising glances.
Half hearted commitments announced.
Things will never be the same.
This equations amounts to a complicated sum.
As you stand In the door way about to exit.
Life's bank has withdrawn all the quality time we invested.
Hopeful plans for the future proclaimed.
Of which a fixed date can never be named.
I will miss you more than you ever know.
I've finally accepted the fact that you must go.