Say Something (I'm giving up on you)Like, they’re both in the shower, at Tony’s, of course, because who else has a house that could withstand a nuclear attack? And it’s taken Steve the better part of half an hour to convince Bucky to even come into the bathroom, forget the removal of any of his clothes for washing. He’s promised a thousand times they’re only going to wash them, and that in the meantime Tony is pulling out some sweatpants for them, and a few sweatshirts and t-shirts. They’ll have something warm and soft after. Why is it so horrible to take a shower? And then he realises he really doesn’t want to know why Bucky is afraid of showers and bathtubs, and what sort of horrible things have happened to him involving water. If it’s even about the water, and not the whiteness of the room.Say Something (I'm giving up on you) in General Fiction More Like This
But what’s even worse is that by the time Steve has figured out how to turn on the water, and get it to a pleasant temperature, he realises the damn shower head is more complica
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Breakfast passes companionably enough. All of them find ways to cram themselves into the kitchen. Bucky, Steve, and Pepper have taken over the stools, Tony, Bruce, and Sam are all perched on the countertops. No one has any interest in talking, they're all so busy stuffing their faces. Tony jokes about the sheer amount of food Steve and Bucky put away. The moment he does, Bucky stops eating. It takes quite a large amount of verbal abuse thrown at Tony and encouragement directed at Bucky before he starts eating again. Everyone notices the way Bucky keeps glancing at Steve like he's waiting for something.
"Spill it," Tony says around a mouthful of bacon. "What're you hiding Rogers?"
"Nothing," he says with a frown, not sure if he's more concerned about where the question is coming from, or the fact Tony talks with his mouth full. He glances over at Bucky who l
Say Something 15Chapter 15Say Something 15 in General Fiction More Like This
Bucky slides to the edge of the roof first, and allows Steve to help him down. Not that he really needs it, but if letting Steve feel needed makes him feel better, then so be it. He drops silently to the grass, coming smoothly to his feet and glancing up at Steve. Rolling his eyes when Steve does a forward flip off the roof, he knows when his friend is showing off.
"Was that necessary?" Bucky asks trying to hide the amusement in his voice.
"No, but I'm sick of being cooped up, too, y'know." He feels a moment of regret, wondering if that comment would somehow hurt Bucky's feelings. It doesn't appear to, and they re-enter the house in comfortable silence. Ignoring Tony's chiding to hurry up already, they make their way to the stairwell, and Bucky feels his body tense up.
"What if putting the arm back on makes me for
Say Something Chap 7Chap 7Say Something Chap 7 in General Fiction More Like This
There's a light bandage wrapping Bucky's stump, one that he can get wet and they can change once he's done cleaning up, but that will catch any blood or pus that leaks out. Steve helps him up the stairs, he's really off balance, almost comically so. Once he's up to the top of the stairs, Sam looks at him from the counter where he was sitting with Pepper. "Soups up," he says with a smile.
Nat is next to Bucky's stump, guarding it. There had been some fairly intense bruising and scraping at the end of it where Steve had crushed part of the arm. The guilt was extreme enough without anyone else seeing it or mentioning it.
Pepper watches him limp towards them, wondering what they did to his legs before realizing it's not a true limp. He's just holding one shoulder much higher than the other and it's throwing off his gait entirely. With his hair matted down with sweat and dark circles under his eyes, he looks truly awful. Hiding her face so he won't see her concern, "You want anything
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Chuckling slightly, "You're a mess," he teases, smearing his fingers across the mess on Bucky's stomach and thighs. Seeing Bucky shudder pleasantly, "little sensitive there, huh?" he asks, kissing Bucky's lips. Unable to resist touching him a little more, he grins when Bucky squirms happily. "I know you just showered, but, c'mon let's get you cleaned up so you can rest." He can tell from how Bucky's looking at him, eyes half lidded that he's ready to sleep. "Probably kept you up too long anyway," he teases.
Standing up with Steve, he pulls the other man's shirt off, before giving him a playful hug, making sure to press his stomach against Steve's to share as much of the mess as possible.
"Aw, gross," he mutters, laughing a little. The laughter stops when Bucky's fumbling with his pants, looking up at him, lips wet and swollen from kisses.
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When Bucky looks at him, lip trembling, Steve smiles. "It's okay, I promise. It's okay. You found your way back to me, just like always."
"Don't let me go again," Bucky tells him, shaking. He barely acknowledges Sam getting up and leaving the room. "Don't let me get lost again, please Steve, I can't...I can't stand looking at you and not knowing you." Pressing his lips against Steve's hard, he tangles one hand in the other man's hair, the other in his shirt. "Don't let me go," he insists, feeling Steve's arms come up around him, he pushes himself against Steve's chest. "Never let me go."
"Never," Steve promises. Pressing kisses down Bucky's face and neck, he feels the other man shudder in his arms. "Sorry," he whispers. "Sorry, I know. You're not ready right now, I know." Running a hand through his hair, he pulls away a little, surprised when Bucky presses
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"Hungry?" he asks, a sad smile on his face when Bucky shakes his head, rubbing hurriedly at his chin. Pulling the scarf off from around his neck he holds it out to Tony, briefly looking it over to make sure he didn't drip any apple juice onto it. "Thanks," Tony tells him, balling up the scarf.
"Thanks for the loan," he mumbles, shrugging out of Clint's jacket and putting it carefully over the back of a chair.
"We made some new friends today," Clint tells Tony casually, watching Bucky carefully bite into his apple. "Four assholes, Buck, you still got those IDs?"
"Hydra," he clarifies around a mouthful of food. Digging out the cards carefully he passes them to Tony who takes them and glances at them.
"Fakes. Not even good fakes."
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Sam finds Steve in the lab, arms around his middle hunched miserably on a stool while he reads and replays chunks of footage, trying not to cry.
"The hell are you doing to yourself?" Sam asks him gently. "Enough, JARVIS, turn it off. All of it."
"Of course Mr. Wilson," the AI chirps, and the lights come back on in the room.
"My god, Steve, how long have you been in here?"
"I don't know," he croaks, voice hoarse from a combination of disuse and trying not to cry. "I was trying to see if maybe he'd been having nosebleeds before...oh god, I forgot to mention that to Hallie," he mumbles, looking haggard. Running a hand through his hair, it's already such a rats' nest from the repeated motion his hand gets caught. Freeing it with an impatient sound, he brings up the other hand and
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When Steve comes to some time before the sun is up, he shifts closer to Bucky. Half expecting the other soldier to wake, or mumble in his sleep, reality comes crashing down on him when he remembers Bucky won't be waking up. Not for another day or two. He and Hallie hadn't talked the day before, he'd walked into the room, saw her monitoring Bucky and asked her to leave. It hadn't been anything personal, he'd just wanted to sleep. She'd agreed and left unconcerned. Now he wonders if perhaps he should have asked more questions. Or if he should have taken the time to talk about what he can remember of Bucky's symptoms. He's fairly sure the fever is a newer development. Reaching up to check Bucky's cheeks and then forehead, he feels normal enough. He's not sweating or shaking, and his face isn't flushed.
Unable to go back to sleep, Steve looks over at the books Tony and the others put together for Buck
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"Did you hit him?" Steve asks Natasha that next morning.
"Why?" she asks.
"Because he has a bruise, or had... had a bruise," Steve says, glancing back down at Bucky's sleeping face. He looks so soft when he's asleep, like the hand of god has gone over all the lines and pain and smoothed them away with the first rays of sunlight. "Might still have a bruise."
"And it would matter because?"
"Don't you think he's had enough violence for the past, what seventy years?"
"Probably." She doesn't look remotely apologetic.
"So what makes you think that it was okay to heap more on him?!" he demands. Glancing down when Bucky shifts, he knows it's too late. The other man is awake, as is Sam, who is staring at