Sir Paul at StarbucksTuesdaySir Paul at Starbucks in Humor More Like This
February 14th 2012
Sir Paul McCartney leaned back in a sofa chair, one leg was crossed, with his hands folded neatly on his lap. He stared at a painting on the wall, thinking about his wife Nancy and how she was putting on her make-up in the ladies' room. The two of them weren't at Starbucks for coffee, but for a quick pit stop. Minutes before in the limo, Nancy insisted that she could make her way inside, alone, but Paul didn't believe so, thinking she needed an escort.
And now, here he was at Starbucks, chewing gum at seven in the morning like the cool kids would do at school, thinking about his true love and how happy they were, loving life.
"You bastard," a soft voice had said. Paul turned around to his right and saw a girl sitting alone at one of the tables, sliding her thumb down the screen of her white iPhone. She looked about seventeen or eighteen, with long thick, curly brown hair, bright blue eyes behind a pair of square framed glasses, and a
The Note"Daddy you made this wrong," Mary said at the kitchen table. "Mommy puts two slices of tomato - not three!"The Note in Humor More Like This
Paul gave his daughter a weary look from the counter and felt ridiculous wearing his wife's apron and oven mitt. Linda had been gone for a business trip in the city, leaving Paul to watch the girls and James for two weeks. So far, he was doing a poor job.
"I'm sorry, luvvie, I'll fix that," Paul said, taking the plate from the ten year old. Instead of making a new LTC (lettuce, tomato and cheese) sandwich, Paul took off the extra, no-good tomato off the lettuce and cheese and threw it away.
"Thank you, Daddy!" Mary said with a big smile once Paul gave her back the plate.
Just then, Stella came into the kitchen with Linda's purse. She placed it on top of the kitchen table and started to rummage through it.
"What are you doing with Mommy's purse, Stel?" Paul asked with his eyebrows raised. He wasn't going to scold or shout, because that meant he would be a Terrible Daddy and he nev
Sleepwalker"What are you doing up?" John tapped a cigarette on the edge of a glass ashtray, looking at Ringo enter the kitchen with raised eyebrows.Sleepwalker in Humor More Like This
"I can't sleep," Ringo said, scraping a chair back and sitting down. "I had this dream where I'm onstage wearing a sombrero on my head..."
"I told you not to eat that spice cake before bed," John shook his head with shame. Smoke came out of his nostrils like a bull ready to fight.
Ringo rolled his eyes. Suddenly a low moan came and they glanced across the kitchen to see Paul come in wearing a pair of striped pajamas. His dark eyes looked glassy and his lips were slightly parted. John could tell something wasn't right about him and grew concerned immediately.
"Did you have a bad dream, too, Macca?"
Paul didn't answer. He slowly made his way to the refrigerator and yanked the door open.
"Hungry, mate?" Ringo chuckled.
Again, Paul didn't reply. He slowly took the carton of milk out with his eyes wide and empty. His fingers immediately let go and the mil
Hey Beautiful"Where's Paul?" Ringo twisted around in his seat, concerned.Hey Beautiful in Humor More Like This
"I dunno," George said plucking a few strings from his guitar. "He wouldn't tell me on the phone, this mornin'."
"He's never skipped rehearsal before!" John boomed over his microphone. "I say we go sniff him out!"
"Huh?" Ringo went.
"We go look for him," John explained.
"What about the song?"
George lifted his guitar strap over his head and mumbled, "Forget the song. Let's go find Paul."
"Boys, where are you going?" George Martin was peering down at them through the glass window of the sound stage.
"The song is crap without Paul around," John said bluntly. "We're going to try to find McCartney."
"Won't be gone too long," Ringo chimed with a small wave.
Outside the world was getting dark and chilly. Each of the three Beatles had bundled themselves with scarves and coats. Ringo pointed out that his pack of gum was missing, but it didn't take him long to figure out who took it when John blew a pink bubble then snapped it with hi
Tomorrow Never KnowsThe Beatles sat around in a circle on the beach. It was a full moon tonight and the bonfire kept them nice and toasty warm. A bag of marshmallows was being passed around until the bag was empty and Ringo somehow ended up holding it. He snorted and tossed the bag aside. The wind picked up and made it roll and tumble across the sand.Tomorrow Never Knows in Drama More Like This
John plucked a few random chords on his acoustic guitar. He was sitting cross-legged next to George who was holding up his brand new sitar on his lap. His pair of sandals laid beside. Paul sat next to him wearing a bulky gray sweatshirt and was holding a can of raspberry ginger ale. He had taken something earlier and couldn't stop laughing.
"Whatever it is, Paul, it's not funny," Ringo said, but he was smiling, too. A cigarette dangled halfway in his mouth, bobbing along his lips whenever he spoke.
Paul giggled for a response and leaned himself sideways on George. "A very stony Paulie," George said, and chuckled. He then tried to sit Paul back up with his fi
Plump"Take your shirt off, John, you must be sweating in that!" Paul said, bending over to pick up a flat rock he saw in the shallow water. John grimaced as he stood next to him ankle deep in the lake, wearing a black long-sleeved shirt and washed out jeans.Plump in Humor More Like This
"Nope," John said. He rolled his sleeves up and spread his legs out, squinting ahead at the distance. He saw moutains and trees and sky and it was all very beautiful and serene.
"Are you afraid?" Paul snapped his wrist and chucked the rock, making it skip three times across the water.
John glared at him.
"Don't be afraid, John," Paul kept talking. He bent over again and John got a nice view of his bottom in a white pair of swim trunks.
"I'm not afraid," John growled. He blinked a few times and shifted his gaze away, feeling his skin grow hot all over. He wanted to lift his foot and kick Paul to watch him topple over. That would be something to laugh about. Something to make fun.
"It's okay," Paul coaxed. "You're just a little plump..."
A Beastly TaleThe woman was startled when she found Paul shivering on her doormat.A Beastly Tale in Humor More Like This
"Oh, you poor thing," she cooed. "You're frozen solid! Come inside and stand close to the fire..."
Paul, too cold to answer, moved one foot and felt a hot blast of heat once he was inside the house entirely.
Two boys and a little girl were staring at the Beatle from the stairwell. The boys were identical, and the girl wore her auburn hair in short pigtails. She looked about five.
The woman closed the door shut and stood for a minute like she didn't know what to do next. When Paul was just about warm enough to remove his coat, the woman broke away her spell and took over.
"I'll take this," she told Paul, once the coat was in her arms. "You go over there and stand by the fire like I said - go on!"
Paul mumbled a thank you but the woman didn't hear him. He felt the children's eyes on him as he headed toward the fireplace. He was tracking snow on the dark polish floorboards and felt sorry. The crackling fire made the numb
OldJune 1968Old in Humor More Like This
Outside the gate was filled with screaming girls. They wanted Paul McCartney to come out of his Cavendish home and wish him a happy birthday. Some were crying tears of joy. Others simply shouted his name over and over until their throats became sore. It was a cloudy afternoon, but every single one of them still had bright and fiery enthusiasm.
Soon the noise died with complete silence once the gate was opening. The girls had split into two groups and backed away on each side of the driveway as they watched Paul's car slowly rolling out. The window of the driver side slid down with his young, cherubic face appearing. The girls all shrieked,
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PAUL!"
He smiled his little-boy shyness smile and lifted a hand up in the air for a wave. The girls shrieked some more and the ones who had gifts practically tossed their cards and packages at him. Paul gasped and leaned slightly back.
"Leave them by the gate!" he told them.
"They'll get stolen!" the girls replied back in u
A Place To StayAutumn 1950A Place To Stay in Humor More Like This
"John, get down from that tree before you break a bone!" shouted his strict, no-funny-business Aunt Mimi. She was standing a good ten feet below him with her hands on her hips and her mouth frowning with disproval.
Ten-year-old John Lennon stuck his tongue out and remained sitting on the branch of his favorite oak tree in the world. "I don't think so, Mimi," he said. "I think I'll stay up on this tree forever!"
"You'll come down when you're hungry!" Mimi exclaimed.
"No I won't," John argued. He kicked his legs back and forth in the air, wanting to hear more excuses from his aunt.
"It'll be dark and cold tonight..."
Mimi scowled. "If you don't come down this instant, John Winston Lennon, I'll lock the doors and shut the windows for good!"
John grinned. He liked to see Mimi try. He still wouldn't leave his spot from the tree. He wanted to see if Mimi was kidden or not.
"Mimi, what's going on?" Uncle George stuck his head out from the bathroom window, upstairs.
The Skiing Trip pt 1Late Winter 1974The Skiing Trip pt 1 in Humor More Like This
"Let's go have a skiing trip with the girls." Paul leaned over and kissed Linda gently on the lips. The two of them just made love and were now facing each other in bed.
"That would be fun," Linda whispered. She felt Paul's ankles bump her own, and began to rub them under the covers.
"After breakfast, we'll go." Paul scooted himself closer and ran his fingers along the curve of Linda's hip, making her smile.
"Let's do it, then," she said. Eyes half shut, she looked about ready to fall asleep. Paul gave her a few more kisses.
"We still have snow on the ground," he murmured. "It will be great on the slopes..."
"Uh huh," Linda blinked once, twice, then fell asleep.
Paul giggled breathlessly and soon he drifted off, warm and naked under the covers with his wife.
"Honey, your pancakes will get cold," Paul heard Linda say in his sleep. She sounded far away like she was in a different room. Then he heard several other different things: Water running from the kitchen sink. The