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My Xmas Gift To Y'all...The Night Before Christmas...Revamped.My Xmas Gift To Y'all... in Free Verse
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T'was the night before Christmas, when Dani remembered,
"Shit! Christmas is the twenty-fifth of December!
And because I've been piled with work
By teachers like Moloney (that endearing jerk)
I'm totally late in celebrating this year,
And, by great Ville Valo, it's almost here!"
So wracking her brain, most tired out and weak,
She thought, "I'll rewrite that Christmas poem...that'd be freaking sweet!"
So grabbing a notebook and trusty pen,
She was just about to start, but then,
Out of her window, she heard a loud SMASH!
She jumped a foot in the air, then summarily dashed
Over to the window, where unless her eyes and ears failed her,
Sat Saint Nick, injured, and cursing like a sailor.
Bewildered, she queried what was the matter?
Santa replied: "The Easter Bunny shot me down, the crazy bastard!
And now I'm hurt and can't deliver toys,
There'll be so many disappointed girls and boys!
...Unless, my dear girl, you'd be so kind
As to give me a hand
Confronting The Magic MirrorConfronting The Magic MirrorConfronting The Magic Mirror in Free Verse
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Mirror, Mirror, on the wall,
I've got a question for you,
And it's not about the "Fairest Of Them All",
It's quite simply: What'd I do to you!?
Do I really look this way?
You're cruel reality is most unkind,
And if I, threatened to toss you away,
Would you change your mind?
Perhaps a threat was a little crass...
I do not wish you dead.
But since when should I such crap
From a mirror with a floating head?!
Again, I spoke out of turn,
But please just let me say,
Sir Mirror, you really need to learn,
That some girls don't want to look this way.
Sure, I know it isn't right,
To place on you all the blame.
I'll never be the lovely Snow White;
I lack the face and body-frame.
But you know, you're the worst enemy
I think I've ever had.
I mean, everyday, you make girls like me,
Hate themselves, and feel so sad.
Who decides beauty, anyway?
Some style-god, or fashion-führer?
Is it them who has the final say,
Or is it you, the mirror?
To any and all girls,
See Poem For Title IIA Poem Written For The Sole Purpose Of Pleasing Myself, And, Perhaps, Warning You.See Poem For Title II in Free Verse
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To those who preach how great I am,
I truly could not give a damn.
For all the compliments I get, you see,
Just reveal how little you know of me.
Perhpas you see this written verse,
And think it describes you at first,
But you really shouldn't be so vain;
This calls out to more than just one name.
And this, these words put down in ink,
Is just me saying to them what I think;
A poem phrasing everything bluntly,
A poem written just for me.
This does not teach, nor subtly tell my thoughts,
And if you look for some hidden moral, you'll find nought.
This just states my disgust and little else.
This is a poem written for myself.
Though I suppose it could be a warning too,
To say what bugs me about you;
About how there is so much of me
That you could never think to see.
I am not talented, nor fair of face,
In most situations, I lack all grace.
I am not kind, I am not pretty,
I am, at most stubborn an